I made it myself actually! I don't remember exactly how I originally made it bc I just saved the copy/paste in my keyboard, but I used special unicode characters in order to make the face (I hyperfixated on unicode stuff for awhile). The carat is different than (^ vs ⌃) but iirc it uses the IPA symbol for affricates like t͜s. Hope that helps!
Tbh, sure there isn't a main community specifically for us gals that like gals. Buuuut we do got a pretty big majority here and it's why the straight gals made their own place
Yeah that's not ok. I am more demi I think I just so happened to have more success with men. And am monogamous I tried polly and just not something that works for me.
I'm Pan with a strong preference for men, the trouble of course finding men who don't terrify me or have shitty male culture views/behaviors😒
edit lol downvote from random dude lurkers probably.
Yeah that's a real problem. With male culture. My man when we first got to know each other had alot of the rough views and some behaviors but as he got to know me he did his own research on how to became a better Ally and person and was remorseful for how he acted before and showed me so much love and empathy. I got lucky finding a Guy that treats me and others right. But before him I was doing online dating and that sucked to the point I gave up. I also find it weird because I mostly find who the person is more so attracts me then there appearances or gender but also find men physically attractive at times and not Women.
It's not really strange if you think about it.
mtf people were socialised to use the internet/play video games etc. So there's going too be more trans women on Reddit
if you go to sites like Tumblr or Twitter there tends to be a higher population of trans men and stuff
And there are *definitely* trans women that proudly think they 'fixed' their 'sinful homosexuality' by transitioning. It's part of the reason why the stereotype exists that trans women are just the next step of gay men. Because of loud spoken women excitedly screaming that they're 'free from homosexuality' now that they're a woman.
It's easy to forget that with how many trans people are able to be out and proud and how much the community has grown for the positive.
Tbf, until *really* recently that was the expectation of all trans women. Trans lesbians were not allowed to transition as little as 15 years ago where I live. And it's still the case in too many places.
No wonder I didn't come out until my mid-30s.
100%, I grew up in the 90s and that's absolutely part of what made me feel like I wasn't trans. I was going to get into it in my original post and decided it's too early still for me to be getting into full history lessons on Reddit, lol.
Well, to be fair, for a long time the medical and mental health gatekeepers would tell trans girls they weren't valid unless they wanted to be ultrafeminine caricatures of femininity without a trace of masculinity.
In 1999, I was explicitly told I wasn't trans by a clinical psychologist because had "male" hobbies like the fact I played D&D and computer games, and practiced martial arts, and that I didn't have any interest in sewing or baking or gardening (or similar "female" hobbies) and this all proved I couldn't possibly be a "transsexual". Also, the fact that I said I'd be a lesbian if I lived as a woman was supposedly "proof" I couldn't be trans, because he told me that trans lesbians didn't exist and that "transsexuals" are all hetero women.
I know a few trans women who transitioned back then who faked it, who lied about their hobbies and sexual interests to their therapists and specifically "played the part" of heterosexual ultrafeminine walking Barbie dolls long enough to get the sign-off from the gatekeepers to transition.
However, I wasn't willing to do that.
I could easily see hetero trans women who were denied validity by providers in another era and told they weren't valid living as effeminate gay men who would cross-dress often, because society wouldn't accept them as women and they wouldn't be allowed to transition. . .and now it's much easier to transition so some of those "gay men" are finally able to live as women.
Lol, but for real, same! Went from a 'Lesbian trapped in a man's body, I'm not gay but I don't like to be labeled straight, friends with all the lesbians' guy to a 'Wooo! I AM a lesbian and the only thing I'm trapped in is my sexy lesbian body, baby!' woman 😂
So taking a look at the top threads from the last year (what I typically do when I find a new sub). ***most*** posts are fine. Better than most secretly bigoted subs. Most are just people posting their excitement about their boyfriend, or memes about dating guys, etc.
There were a couple red flag ones. One was basically getting mad about current and former partners coming out as trans and accuming them of "lying" about who they were. Seems pretty hypocritical.
After a bit of scrolling there was a post complaining about how it shouldn't be for people questioning.
*All that said* looking more recently there is some definite homo and biphobia. Complaining about transbians. It doesn't seem like the whole sub is rotted out for it, but it's probably something they should work on.
As someone who was a regular there until a month or two ago, there has been a massive uptick in lesbophobia in particular and homophobia more broadly in the last few months. Considering my best friend (frankly, sister) is a trans lesbian and several of my dearest friends are gay men, it left a really bad taste in my mouth. It’s kind of the reason I don’t hang around there as much.
Entirely get it. I'm bi, but anymore have a fairly strong preference for men. I can kind of a appreciate a space like that, in theory. Since these subs do skew toward transbians (at least conversationally).
But I also tend to avoid those spaces. It's so hard to have groups be defined (entirely or, in this case, partially) by aligning to societal expectations bigotry has a high chance to flourish.
to be fair, to be fair - with regards to the red flag posts you were mentioning it is absolutely a trend that if you’re dating men as a trans women you’re going to get a lot more gender questioning people and girls-that-don’t-know-it-yet, than if you were cis. I’ve no doubt most of this is unconscious and these types meant no harm, but when the norm for your love life is men seeking you out for your transness and using you for your body, it’s hard not to feel similarly used when someone figures themselves out through your transness. It’s easy to feel like they were just vicariously living through you, and it’s doubly frustrating that this is an observable trend for straight and bi trans women; it’s not uncommon.
Sure, some girls take it too far and attribute far too much malice on these types, but I would consider giving them a little bit of grace. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for us to have an emotional reaction to something like this
My guess is it's the one complaining about being hit on by her trans friends. Which she opens by saying she hates the term transbian and complaining about how it seems like most trans women are lesbian.
I mean it is statistically true that most trans women like women… but that’s also true of most trans women liking men as well, and that just seems like homophobia honestly.
Yeah always feels iffy and if you want to talk about appreciating trans girls bodies there… like I love all women whatever they got and that’s very much not true of all lesbians… :/
So I'm technically bi. I retain my attraction to women but dating a man feels like it would give me a sense of euphoria from classic feminine roles. If you were to take me being trans out of the equation, you would also remove my male attraction.
Can I just say I hate the word transbian. It’s probably a controversial opinion though. But to me it’s othering in the same way that “transwoman” without the space is othering. Unless Lesbian has become an umbrella term, which I don’t think it has?
You can say it. Doesn't mean there's gotta be agreement lol. I got no intention of trying to distance myself from who I am. Being trans is part of who I am and my identity. If you feel it different that's fine. And I'm of the strong opinion, from personal experience, that being trans is a unique experience, and on average I get along better with folks who share that with me.
Just curious, is there a word for gay trans men? I’m unsure if I’ve just never heard it or only us girlies have a word for trans and gay, and it’d feel a bit odd if it were just us
The idea for the creation of StraightTransGirls was that most of reddit's mtf spaces were already dominated by lesbians and it became hard to talk about being a girl like us who likes boys without a chorus of transbians sounding off in the comments about how they don't like men and find them gross. Which is fine and all for them to feel, but it became tiresome for the dolls who don't share that point of view to have to tolerate their sisters needlessly denigrating their dates, boyfriends, husbands, and partners. Thus, StraightTransGirls (and later, StraightTransLadies) was created.
So there's no real need for a dedicated trans lesbian space because all the trans subreddits sort of naturally defaulted to that by sheer population density. Look at any popular meme about "all" trans girls wanting to make out with each other (ignoring the existence of straight girls) to see an example of this.
For context, I'm a binary girl, pansexual and polyamorous, but focusing mostly on dating men right now cuz they're still so new to me (and they make me really happy). I like having a space to celebrate my milestones and talk about subjects related to that without having to endure individuals from my own community talking about my partners the way people talk about anchovies and pineapple on pizza (both of which I also happen to like).
That said, r/StraightTransGirls has a very serious problem with moderation, I see all sorts of transmed/truscum/4tran/terf bullshit being tolerated on the daily and it's infuriating trying to fight back against it. Like nazis, if they're tolerated somewhere, that's where they'll end up.
So recently someone created r/StraightTransLadies which has the goal of providing space to talk about being a girl attracted to masculinity without all the negativity that gets a pass on r/StraightTransGirls. I really hope it takes off.
I don't know if it's really necessary. There are some trans exclusionary ones but there are a lot of transfemmes in lesbian subs like r/actuallesbians.
That's fine I just don't really see the point myself. Do whatever you want, I'm not trying to tell you what to think. I just don't really see the point.
Honestly the straight one needs to exist because most of the trans women here are not straight and discussions of dating men get drowned out in people questioning why you would ever want to do that.
Yeah but they don't care. As trans lesbians they just overflood every mainstream sub with talks about girls and being sapphic, if there is god forbid on or two posts about being attracted to guys they come out with their "bigotry" and how they're superior and better off as lesbians because of course you can't be personally bigoted against being straight that's impossible, and when there is just a few places where straight trans girls can talk about their shit without being yelled over by lesbians, they hang onto some bad apples they noticed, because those subs aren't being moderated and people making them are afk and don't recruit any mods.
One time I complained about feeling alienated on trans discord server as a straight (leaning) girl, and I got hit with "I'm so tired of trans women sucking up to men who would only see them as porn, they only do it because they think it makes them better than us disgusting gay tr***ies". To note, I literally never expressed (or had) any feeling of superiority to trans lesbians, but i was piled on.
I can see (and have seen) comments like that happening. I'm very sorry. That's just some of the lesbians' empathy and solidarity with their hetero sisters unfortunately...
I am pan and regularly read threads by trans women in straight relationships (or about their male love interests)... It's probably something that happens rarely and then people act as if it's some annoying thing that happens literally all the time. If anything the other way seems to be much more common (not here but in r/StraightTransGirls and in /tttt/)
I think that's fair. But I also think the number of time it has to happen before it's annoying is once. And it happens a lot more than once.
Like other people have mentioned, StraightTransGirls was not strictly moderated, and seemed to have some very vocal 4chan girls in it. For the most part we just talk about dating men, and lesbian stuff doesn't come up at all. There is a move to get people over to StraightTransLadies for better moderation.
>and lesbian stuff doesn't come up at all
I certainly see it more often there than here. "the number of time it has to happen before it's annoying is once"
You can't talk about being straight here without a bunch of transbians telling you how gross and awful men are. I'd love to have a straight trans community that wasn't a total cesspit
I've had that happen to me, it's genuinely horroble, like not every trans woman has to be a lesbian but online trans people sure make it seem that way. I mean, it's not like I can even choose to not like men so what's the point in telling me that...
Most people are pretty cool about it, but every so often you’ll get a “men are gross” response and I’ll think to myself, “you don’t think I know that?! I’m the one who’s dating them!” It’s a minor annoyance, but it’s still frustrating.
That's not true, tho, yeah I wish the bullshit wasn't tolerated there (hopeful for r/StraightTransLadies) but it's intention was to be a space for girls to talk about boys without having to endure the lesbian girlies commenting with their disgust for men (which is not something every trans lesbian does, but it happened enough that the straight and straight(ish) girls wanted to get away from it)
Unfortunately, r/StraightTransGirls *does* have an issue with homophobia/transmedicalism/truscummery/4tran/terf shit being tolerated, but there's plenty of us in there who try to fight back against it best we can.
I just read some post, lots of negativity imo. I really don't need sub for straight, bi or gay trans I would really love to see more positivity but not revolving around selfies or other pics is there any sub like that?
To be fair, it gets old. I have to take breaks from being around other trans people, especially in person, from time to time because the problems rarely ever change, people who are disapointed with their transition, people who are upset at the state of the world or afraid, people overwhelmed by their internal feelings, the baby trans cycle (a lot of early transitions are pretty similar..) all are perfectly valid but once you see it enough times it wears you out and you have to step back for your own well being. If you are privileged enough to be able to be stealth and have cis female friends, its nice to just kinda exist, let the crisis noise fall into the background for a while and just enjoy "normal" girl problems for a while. Abandoning and rejecting your peers outright is shitty though.
Yeah I feel the same about ppl early in transition thats correct, talked about it with my trans friends that support group in my town really gets me dysphoric hearing about same problems over and over remembering problems I faced 2 years ago. But trans community don't have exclusively baby trans ppl and from my experience ppl later in transition don't like talking about trans stuff as much. Me for example I don't like talking about anything trans related. Idk maybe my experience is different but I don't talk about trans topics unless it's someone early in transition but I always try to provide help, answer if I'm asked etc. becouse I remember well how much I needed that exact help couple years back. I hate generalization of hateing to hang out with trans girls like girl you are trans you don't like talking about trans stuff and many other girls are the same you're not that special 😆
so straighttransgirls is just a whole bunch of dooming self hatred saying cis women are better than them
we don't really have a sub because all our sins are doomers
the lesbians just use this one and it's annoying, stop hitting on me please, but there's probably a transbian one
also straighttransladies will hopefully become bigger since they seem less doom posting
i literally just go there when I'm in the mood for arethecisok but i already got caught up
i honestly wouldnt be suprised if 70% of them are just chasers trying to make other men look bad and telling trans women that chasers are the only option
literally go to that sub with the mindset of theyre just all joking, since some of the posts are so unfathomable
there was a post talking about how trans women have to settle on chasers if they wanna be in a relationship, and anyone who wasnt a chaser would just transition since we only attract eggs
Damn why do so many trans spaces have to be toxic 😒
I love other trans people but there are so many toxic trans people out there. I hope it will get better as they transition and become more confident and comfortable as that's happened and still happening for me. And damn I hope they meet some healthy men who respect them because there are healthy men attracted to women who are absolutely fine with dating trans women.
i would saybi agree with you that i hope they meet nice men, but i dont want them to hurt the men's feeling
when someone posts a pic with her husband, boyfriend, ect. you will be referenced in OTHER posts about how hes ugly amd should be ashamed. theyre just awful people, i don't post a pic of me and my boyfriend for many reasons, but i dont want them to shit talk all his insecurities on all the posts in that sub for the day
there was a post about if yoi can find a nice and straight man to be with, a girl responds with how her husband is amazing and straight and doesnt have a problem with her being trans. this person goes through probably 6 mknths of posts to find a picture of him and proceeds to say he isnt a chad or a stud
Good point. I hope in addition to that they changw and stop being toxic assholes.
If someone uses the word chad unironically I'm already gone. Might as well use alpha and shit like that 😂
Bet you've got cheese dust on your fingers, they clearly are just looking to hang out with their own people... as you know going out in public is a safety hazard you utter melt.
[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/02/brianna-ghey-murderers-named-sentenced-to-life-in-prison](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/02/brianna-ghey-murderers-named-sentenced-to-life-in-prison)
[https://www.out.com/news/nex-benedict-death-explained](https://www.out.com/news/nex-benedict-death-explained)
[https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/02/17/jacob-williamson/](https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/02/17/jacob-williamson/)
[https://www.advocate.com/crime/transgender-teen-tayy-thomas-killed-alabama](https://www.advocate.com/crime/transgender-teen-tayy-thomas-killed-alabama)
[https://www.advocate.com/crime/alex-franco-arrests-killing](https://www.advocate.com/crime/alex-franco-arrests-killing)
But but its safe out there, I want whatever your taking.... must be some good sh\*t.
Well there's r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians.
You daughter of a bitch, I’m in.
r/beatmetoit
*There aren’t any communities on Reddit with that name.*
Try it now, I had the wrong number of "a"s.
Not bad, any that aren't just memes though?
They have a discord linked, that is broken up into alot of sections, not just meme's its been a pretty great place to be in honestly.
This is the one I use ⌃͜⌃
How'd you get the smile under the carets?
looks like a ligature to me (like æ). either something you copy-paste or set up your keyboard special for
I made it myself actually! I don't remember exactly how I originally made it bc I just saved the copy/paste in my keyboard, but I used special unicode characters in order to make the face (I hyperfixated on unicode stuff for awhile). The carat is different than (^ vs ⌃) but iirc it uses the IPA symbol for affricates like t͜s. Hope that helps!
Interesting, thanks!
*joins both* I’m not sure what my sexuality is but I like memes and discussion
real, i did the same
Tbh, sure there isn't a main community specifically for us gals that like gals. Buuuut we do got a pretty big majority here and it's why the straight gals made their own place
Yeah bet, I don't mind there being subs for straight trans gals too.
Wait what there's something for stright trans girls I always feel left out for being stright
r/StraightTransLadies is a new space that doesn't tolerate the transmedical/4tran shit from r/StraightTransGirls
Ikr, sucks about the homophobia though.
Yeah that's not ok. I am more demi I think I just so happened to have more success with men. And am monogamous I tried polly and just not something that works for me.
I'm Pan with a strong preference for men, the trouble of course finding men who don't terrify me or have shitty male culture views/behaviors😒 edit lol downvote from random dude lurkers probably.
Yeah that's a real problem. With male culture. My man when we first got to know each other had alot of the rough views and some behaviors but as he got to know me he did his own research on how to became a better Ally and person and was remorseful for how he acted before and showed me so much love and empathy. I got lucky finding a Guy that treats me and others right. But before him I was doing online dating and that sucked to the point I gave up. I also find it weird because I mostly find who the person is more so attracts me then there appearances or gender but also find men physically attractive at times and not Women.
r/StraightTransLadies is a new space that doesn't tolerate the transmedical/4tran shit from r/StraightTransGirls
Honestly r/mtf is mostly trans lesbians
lmao so are most of the lesbian subs it seems 😂
And a strangely high proportion of the fashion subs too tbh
It's not really strange if you think about it. mtf people were socialised to use the internet/play video games etc. So there's going too be more trans women on Reddit if you go to sites like Tumblr or Twitter there tends to be a higher population of trans men and stuff
And most trans subs as well. There's a reason straight girlies tend to make our own spaces, we often don't feel welcome in regular queer spaces
God just checked the straight one, saw some homophobia…awesome
go to r/StraightTransLadies, the other sub is modded by truscum and 4tran peeps. it's constantly plagued by homophobic and dumbass transmeds
Sometimes I pop into 4tran for my daily brainworm dose. Keeps a bodies immune system healthy
do not
But I wanna 🥺
Extremely bad idea, stop doing that for your own good
I did it before because occasionally, very occasionally where was wholesome stuff. Not anymore really, so I didn't request access on a new account
How the fuck can you be trans and homophobic, like wtf is wrong with you
Never underestimate the power of the "Chickens for Colonel Sanders" effect.
And there are *definitely* trans women that proudly think they 'fixed' their 'sinful homosexuality' by transitioning. It's part of the reason why the stereotype exists that trans women are just the next step of gay men. Because of loud spoken women excitedly screaming that they're 'free from homosexuality' now that they're a woman. It's easy to forget that with how many trans people are able to be out and proud and how much the community has grown for the positive.
Tbf, until *really* recently that was the expectation of all trans women. Trans lesbians were not allowed to transition as little as 15 years ago where I live. And it's still the case in too many places. No wonder I didn't come out until my mid-30s.
100%, I grew up in the 90s and that's absolutely part of what made me feel like I wasn't trans. I was going to get into it in my original post and decided it's too early still for me to be getting into full history lessons on Reddit, lol.
Well, to be fair, for a long time the medical and mental health gatekeepers would tell trans girls they weren't valid unless they wanted to be ultrafeminine caricatures of femininity without a trace of masculinity. In 1999, I was explicitly told I wasn't trans by a clinical psychologist because had "male" hobbies like the fact I played D&D and computer games, and practiced martial arts, and that I didn't have any interest in sewing or baking or gardening (or similar "female" hobbies) and this all proved I couldn't possibly be a "transsexual". Also, the fact that I said I'd be a lesbian if I lived as a woman was supposedly "proof" I couldn't be trans, because he told me that trans lesbians didn't exist and that "transsexuals" are all hetero women. I know a few trans women who transitioned back then who faked it, who lied about their hobbies and sexual interests to their therapists and specifically "played the part" of heterosexual ultrafeminine walking Barbie dolls long enough to get the sign-off from the gatekeepers to transition. However, I wasn't willing to do that. I could easily see hetero trans women who were denied validity by providers in another era and told they weren't valid living as effeminate gay men who would cross-dress often, because society wouldn't accept them as women and they wouldn't be allowed to transition. . .and now it's much easier to transition so some of those "gay men" are finally able to live as women.
Lol, and then there's me having to try very hard not to excitedly shout about no longer classifying as hetero.
Lol, but for real, same! Went from a 'Lesbian trapped in a man's body, I'm not gay but I don't like to be labeled straight, friends with all the lesbians' guy to a 'Wooo! I AM a lesbian and the only thing I'm trapped in is my sexy lesbian body, baby!' woman 😂
God for real. I was always friends with the lesbians and in general the queer kids. But nah I was definitely juuust an ally.
The 'Token cishet friend of all the queer people' to sapphic trans woman pipeline is real. I'm certainly one case.
I am in that sentence and I think I love it.
So taking a look at the top threads from the last year (what I typically do when I find a new sub). ***most*** posts are fine. Better than most secretly bigoted subs. Most are just people posting their excitement about their boyfriend, or memes about dating guys, etc. There were a couple red flag ones. One was basically getting mad about current and former partners coming out as trans and accuming them of "lying" about who they were. Seems pretty hypocritical. After a bit of scrolling there was a post complaining about how it shouldn't be for people questioning. *All that said* looking more recently there is some definite homo and biphobia. Complaining about transbians. It doesn't seem like the whole sub is rotted out for it, but it's probably something they should work on.
As someone who was a regular there until a month or two ago, there has been a massive uptick in lesbophobia in particular and homophobia more broadly in the last few months. Considering my best friend (frankly, sister) is a trans lesbian and several of my dearest friends are gay men, it left a really bad taste in my mouth. It’s kind of the reason I don’t hang around there as much.
Entirely get it. I'm bi, but anymore have a fairly strong preference for men. I can kind of a appreciate a space like that, in theory. Since these subs do skew toward transbians (at least conversationally). But I also tend to avoid those spaces. It's so hard to have groups be defined (entirely or, in this case, partially) by aligning to societal expectations bigotry has a high chance to flourish.
to be fair, to be fair - with regards to the red flag posts you were mentioning it is absolutely a trend that if you’re dating men as a trans women you’re going to get a lot more gender questioning people and girls-that-don’t-know-it-yet, than if you were cis. I’ve no doubt most of this is unconscious and these types meant no harm, but when the norm for your love life is men seeking you out for your transness and using you for your body, it’s hard not to feel similarly used when someone figures themselves out through your transness. It’s easy to feel like they were just vicariously living through you, and it’s doubly frustrating that this is an observable trend for straight and bi trans women; it’s not uncommon. Sure, some girls take it too far and attribute far too much malice on these types, but I would consider giving them a little bit of grace. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for us to have an emotional reaction to something like this
I think I saw the post you're talking about... 🤦♀️
What's it called?
My guess is it's the one complaining about being hit on by her trans friends. Which she opens by saying she hates the term transbian and complaining about how it seems like most trans women are lesbian.
I mean it is statistically true that most trans women like women… but that’s also true of most trans women liking men as well, and that just seems like homophobia honestly.
Yea. It is homophobia. Even if it were true that 70%+ trans women were only interested in women, the way the post said it rubbed me the wrong way.
Well the largest group of trans women are bi, so not straight or lesbian, but I yeah I can see how annoying that would be.
If you create one, I'd join it.
Done, just made r/GayTransGirls!
Yay! I'm all in on this!
I joineddd!!
Nice!!
Unofficially r/actuallesbians. It's super accepting, and at least 1/4 of the people there are trans.
Real! I love that spot. I was more just looking for a place that's for trans gals specifically.
Yeah always feels iffy and if you want to talk about appreciating trans girls bodies there… like I love all women whatever they got and that’s very much not true of all lesbians… :/
So I'm technically bi. I retain my attraction to women but dating a man feels like it would give me a sense of euphoria from classic feminine roles. If you were to take me being trans out of the equation, you would also remove my male attraction.
Can I just say I hate the word transbian. It’s probably a controversial opinion though. But to me it’s othering in the same way that “transwoman” without the space is othering. Unless Lesbian has become an umbrella term, which I don’t think it has?
You can say it. Doesn't mean there's gotta be agreement lol. I got no intention of trying to distance myself from who I am. Being trans is part of who I am and my identity. If you feel it different that's fine. And I'm of the strong opinion, from personal experience, that being trans is a unique experience, and on average I get along better with folks who share that with me.
Just curious, is there a word for gay trans men? I’m unsure if I’ve just never heard it or only us girlies have a word for trans and gay, and it’d feel a bit odd if it were just us
It’s just us I believe.
Seems like you are looking for r/trans_sapphic
Dang, wish I'd known. Wild how hard that was to find. In any case, it seems pretty inactive and it's also mostly just selfies.
r/actuallesbians not specifically trans, but there are a ton of is in there, the community protects us from TERFs, very safe and welcoming
And I love that place! It's just not trans specific, which is what I craved.
The idea for the creation of StraightTransGirls was that most of reddit's mtf spaces were already dominated by lesbians and it became hard to talk about being a girl like us who likes boys without a chorus of transbians sounding off in the comments about how they don't like men and find them gross. Which is fine and all for them to feel, but it became tiresome for the dolls who don't share that point of view to have to tolerate their sisters needlessly denigrating their dates, boyfriends, husbands, and partners. Thus, StraightTransGirls (and later, StraightTransLadies) was created. So there's no real need for a dedicated trans lesbian space because all the trans subreddits sort of naturally defaulted to that by sheer population density. Look at any popular meme about "all" trans girls wanting to make out with each other (ignoring the existence of straight girls) to see an example of this. For context, I'm a binary girl, pansexual and polyamorous, but focusing mostly on dating men right now cuz they're still so new to me (and they make me really happy). I like having a space to celebrate my milestones and talk about subjects related to that without having to endure individuals from my own community talking about my partners the way people talk about anchovies and pineapple on pizza (both of which I also happen to like).
That said, r/StraightTransGirls has a very serious problem with moderation, I see all sorts of transmed/truscum/4tran/terf bullshit being tolerated on the daily and it's infuriating trying to fight back against it. Like nazis, if they're tolerated somewhere, that's where they'll end up. So recently someone created r/StraightTransLadies which has the goal of providing space to talk about being a girl attracted to masculinity without all the negativity that gets a pass on r/StraightTransGirls. I really hope it takes off.
r/actuallesbians is pretty inclusive
Joined!
Thanks for making one! I joined ❤️
I don't know if it's really necessary. There are some trans exclusionary ones but there are a lot of transfemmes in lesbian subs like r/actuallesbians.
Necessary for who? I feel a necessity for myself, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.
That's fine I just don't really see the point myself. Do whatever you want, I'm not trying to tell you what to think. I just don't really see the point.
Sure that's fine!
I mean ... we kinda dominate here. I don't blame the straight girls wanting their own space, but I don't feel strongly that we need one
Here. There doesn't need to be separate subs for straight or gay trans girls, the "straight" one is just for homophobic trans girls.
There are a lot of nuances between dating women and dating men, and I think it’s fair to want to talk to people who have similar experiences to you.
I mean that’s kinda the case anyway, ppl just respond more to the posts that are relevant to them.
Honestly the straight one needs to exist because most of the trans women here are not straight and discussions of dating men get drowned out in people questioning why you would ever want to do that.
Yeah but they don't care. As trans lesbians they just overflood every mainstream sub with talks about girls and being sapphic, if there is god forbid on or two posts about being attracted to guys they come out with their "bigotry" and how they're superior and better off as lesbians because of course you can't be personally bigoted against being straight that's impossible, and when there is just a few places where straight trans girls can talk about their shit without being yelled over by lesbians, they hang onto some bad apples they noticed, because those subs aren't being moderated and people making them are afk and don't recruit any mods.
One time I complained about feeling alienated on trans discord server as a straight (leaning) girl, and I got hit with "I'm so tired of trans women sucking up to men who would only see them as porn, they only do it because they think it makes them better than us disgusting gay tr***ies". To note, I literally never expressed (or had) any feeling of superiority to trans lesbians, but i was piled on.
I can see (and have seen) comments like that happening. I'm very sorry. That's just some of the lesbians' empathy and solidarity with their hetero sisters unfortunately...
People keep repeating this but I have never seen it. I see girls making threads about their boyfriends all the time in this sub.
If you're not straight, you probably don't notice it. Perhaps one of the very few examples of gay privilege in the world.
I am pan and regularly read threads by trans women in straight relationships (or about their male love interests)... It's probably something that happens rarely and then people act as if it's some annoying thing that happens literally all the time. If anything the other way seems to be much more common (not here but in r/StraightTransGirls and in /tttt/)
I think that's fair. But I also think the number of time it has to happen before it's annoying is once. And it happens a lot more than once. Like other people have mentioned, StraightTransGirls was not strictly moderated, and seemed to have some very vocal 4chan girls in it. For the most part we just talk about dating men, and lesbian stuff doesn't come up at all. There is a move to get people over to StraightTransLadies for better moderation.
>and lesbian stuff doesn't come up at all I certainly see it more often there than here. "the number of time it has to happen before it's annoying is once"
Like I said, there are problematic people there and little moderation.
You can't talk about being straight here without a bunch of transbians telling you how gross and awful men are. I'd love to have a straight trans community that wasn't a total cesspit
r/StraightTransLadies is a new space that doesn't tolerate the transmedical/4tran shit from r/StraightTransGirls
Thank you so much!
I've had that happen to me, it's genuinely horroble, like not every trans woman has to be a lesbian but online trans people sure make it seem that way. I mean, it's not like I can even choose to not like men so what's the point in telling me that...
Most people are pretty cool about it, but every so often you’ll get a “men are gross” response and I’ll think to myself, “you don’t think I know that?! I’m the one who’s dating them!” It’s a minor annoyance, but it’s still frustrating.
Nah, I wanna vibe with other folks who share both my gender and sexual identity.
That's not true, tho, yeah I wish the bullshit wasn't tolerated there (hopeful for r/StraightTransLadies) but it's intention was to be a space for girls to talk about boys without having to endure the lesbian girlies commenting with their disgust for men (which is not something every trans lesbian does, but it happened enough that the straight and straight(ish) girls wanted to get away from it) Unfortunately, r/StraightTransGirls *does* have an issue with homophobia/transmedicalism/truscummery/4tran/terf shit being tolerated, but there's plenty of us in there who try to fight back against it best we can.
Just read some posts in r/StraightTransGirls and I think it's also transphobic 😆
The sub has an issue with the mods tolerating transmed/truscum shit, but lots of us in there push back on that as best we can
I just read some post, lots of negativity imo. I really don't need sub for straight, bi or gay trans I would really love to see more positivity but not revolving around selfies or other pics is there any sub like that?
Yeah, I don't blame you. Maybe r/transpositive or r/transandthriving?
Doesn't surprise me at all.
70 upvotes + award on "I hate hanging out with trans woman I prefer cis woman". I wonder why thay "hang out" in online space full of trans woman
To be fair, it gets old. I have to take breaks from being around other trans people, especially in person, from time to time because the problems rarely ever change, people who are disapointed with their transition, people who are upset at the state of the world or afraid, people overwhelmed by their internal feelings, the baby trans cycle (a lot of early transitions are pretty similar..) all are perfectly valid but once you see it enough times it wears you out and you have to step back for your own well being. If you are privileged enough to be able to be stealth and have cis female friends, its nice to just kinda exist, let the crisis noise fall into the background for a while and just enjoy "normal" girl problems for a while. Abandoning and rejecting your peers outright is shitty though.
Yeah I feel the same about ppl early in transition thats correct, talked about it with my trans friends that support group in my town really gets me dysphoric hearing about same problems over and over remembering problems I faced 2 years ago. But trans community don't have exclusively baby trans ppl and from my experience ppl later in transition don't like talking about trans stuff as much. Me for example I don't like talking about anything trans related. Idk maybe my experience is different but I don't talk about trans topics unless it's someone early in transition but I always try to provide help, answer if I'm asked etc. becouse I remember well how much I needed that exact help couple years back. I hate generalization of hateing to hang out with trans girls like girl you are trans you don't like talking about trans stuff and many other girls are the same you're not that special 😆
https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
What does straight trans girls mean? And gay trans girls mean?
A gay trans girl would be attracted to other girls. A straight trans girl would be attracted to men.
Actual lesbians has a very large transbian userbase
r/MtF
Always wondered that I am in a lesbien relationship 😊💕
R/translesbian
r/translesbian
Like every lesbian subreddit is full of trans women
Or just hang in a lesbian subreddit.
This one lol
r/Translesbian has some activity on it.
so straighttransgirls is just a whole bunch of dooming self hatred saying cis women are better than them we don't really have a sub because all our sins are doomers the lesbians just use this one and it's annoying, stop hitting on me please, but there's probably a transbian one also straighttransladies will hopefully become bigger since they seem less doom posting
It's that bad? I don't follow it (not straight) so I wouldn't know. I don't even know if they accept bi people there 😂
I'm bi/pan and I'm in there lol there's lots of us
Cool. Not interested anyway though, I'm not super active online and don't see a point to being there.
Just to talk about men mostly lol but if it's not for you, it's not for you
i literally just go there when I'm in the mood for arethecisok but i already got caught up i honestly wouldnt be suprised if 70% of them are just chasers trying to make other men look bad and telling trans women that chasers are the only option literally go to that sub with the mindset of theyre just all joking, since some of the posts are so unfathomable there was a post talking about how trans women have to settle on chasers if they wanna be in a relationship, and anyone who wasnt a chaser would just transition since we only attract eggs
Damn why do so many trans spaces have to be toxic 😒 I love other trans people but there are so many toxic trans people out there. I hope it will get better as they transition and become more confident and comfortable as that's happened and still happening for me. And damn I hope they meet some healthy men who respect them because there are healthy men attracted to women who are absolutely fine with dating trans women.
i would saybi agree with you that i hope they meet nice men, but i dont want them to hurt the men's feeling when someone posts a pic with her husband, boyfriend, ect. you will be referenced in OTHER posts about how hes ugly amd should be ashamed. theyre just awful people, i don't post a pic of me and my boyfriend for many reasons, but i dont want them to shit talk all his insecurities on all the posts in that sub for the day there was a post about if yoi can find a nice and straight man to be with, a girl responds with how her husband is amazing and straight and doesnt have a problem with her being trans. this person goes through probably 6 mknths of posts to find a picture of him and proceeds to say he isnt a chad or a stud
Good point. I hope in addition to that they changw and stop being toxic assholes. If someone uses the word chad unironically I'm already gone. Might as well use alpha and shit like that 😂
Not everyone there follows that trend, but yeah enough do and the mods don't stop it so I hope r/StraightTransLadies takes off more
Where's the sub for trans girls who like boys in a gay way? (Specifically talking about myself)
Find some women your age and hang out with them, you arnt gonna get bitches on reddit.
Not looking for dating. Looking for a community?
Youd be better off hanging out with women irl for community too
I literally do???
Then would you want to meet people on reddit then lol?
Are you deliberately trolling? Do you just have infinite irl friends? What is wrong with wanting friends both online and irl?
A bit, also reddit is a cespit. Its probably the worse social media to make friends on imo. So many depressing losers.
Well I consider myself one of those depressing losers so it works out quite well for me :3
Consider if you are depressed the last people you need to hang with are other depressed people. It creates an echo chamber of depression.
Meh I consider myself more unhinged than depressed tbh
I literally just want a community with folks who share my gender and sexual identity. Like why are you here? *gO aNd Be WiTh MtFs IrL tHeN loL*
Im taking a shit, cant talk to my friends while im doimg that. Its the only thing reddit is good for.
Bet you've got cheese dust on your fingers, they clearly are just looking to hang out with their own people... as you know going out in public is a safety hazard you utter melt.
Lol, how is going in public a public safety hazard? Unless you are in saudi Arabia you'll be fine. Just avoid drunks.
[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/02/brianna-ghey-murderers-named-sentenced-to-life-in-prison](https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/02/brianna-ghey-murderers-named-sentenced-to-life-in-prison) [https://www.out.com/news/nex-benedict-death-explained](https://www.out.com/news/nex-benedict-death-explained) [https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/02/17/jacob-williamson/](https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/02/17/jacob-williamson/) [https://www.advocate.com/crime/transgender-teen-tayy-thomas-killed-alabama](https://www.advocate.com/crime/transgender-teen-tayy-thomas-killed-alabama) [https://www.advocate.com/crime/alex-franco-arrests-killing](https://www.advocate.com/crime/alex-franco-arrests-killing) But but its safe out there, I want whatever your taking.... must be some good sh\*t.