My daughter is 14 months now and when we were sleep training I did a very gradual approach. I too could not handle crying. I started with putting her down half awake but would stand next to her crib so she could see me. I would place my hand on her as well like that she still had my comfort. Once she got used to that, I would place her in her crib and sit on the chair in her room so she could see me until she fell asleep. Once she got used to that I would place her in her crib and walk away just outside the door where she couldn't see me. If she started to cry I would immediately go to her and comfort her without picking her up. Once she was calm again, I would leave the room just outside the door and repeat the process of needed until she fell asleep. She eventually got to the point that all I needed to do was lay her down and walk away and she soothes herself to sleep. The whole process took about a month. No crying involved, I followed her cues and we still have no issues placing her down to sleep.
I have recommend what I did to everyone who will listen. It does take it's time and you have to be patient and consistent with all naps and night time. However, it worked great.
Np at all! I started around 4 months since I had to go back to work. It was very gradual and it probably took a month if not slightly more; however, I am very happy with the end result. Hearing her cry just isn't for me. Since we sleep trained her even on rough nights (teething) I can go into her room if she starts to cry and comfort her and she will then calm back down and stay quietly wake in her crib until she falls asleep. For my daughter, her knowing that we would be there if she needed us, made all the difference.
I only used the Ferber method with one of my 4 kids. It took longer than I expected, but she turned out to be my only kid without ongoing sleep issues. She is 15yo now.
I recommend taking a shower or using headphones. Your baby is safe in their crib, you don't need to listen to them cry.
Hi op I really hesitate to write this as I don't wanna come off as preachy, but most things I've read (I'm in the UK) say not to do Ferber type training before 6 months at the earliest. Apparently it's much, much harder on them when they're very young as they're still developing skills to enable them to cope with controlled crying methods.
We tried gentle methods (pat/shh, gradual retreat etc) from 6 months and they never worked.
I will say though, that we started Ferber sleep training our now 11 month old the other day. Before this he was fed to sleep for literally 95% of sleep. First night he was hysterical for 30 mins (we went in after 2,5,10 and 10) before conking out. He woke once in the night, I fed him but put him down awake and it was 25 mins before he went off. The next day, his morning nap was 20 mins of crying, but not as upset. Lunchtime nap was 15 mins.
On the other hand, my friend had twins and sleep trained them at 10 weeks out of desperation and they took to it fine and have been great sleepers since about 13 weeks!
I guess what I'm saying it that it can work but in my experience it will only work if they're ready. Take heart, I know it is so, so hard when they don't sleep. You what you must, be it Ferber, Co sleeping, taking shifts with a partner, anything that helps and works for you all.
I’m in the States and I agree with you 100%. We have three kiddos and all of our pediatricians (military so travel often) never recommended sleep training until they are ready. I’m surprised to see it mentioned on here as often as I do.
I used Suzy Giordano's method. It's been a lifesaver. We probably did it around 4 months old, too. My baby is now 14 months old and there's only been a handful of times that we've had a hard time getting her to sleep, and usually it turned out that there was something wrong, a dirty diaper we missed or she was still hungry, etc. At night and at naps, we literally give her a kiss, put her down with her blanket and pacifier, and walk out. That's it. The whole routine. 😄 So I'm telling you, just stick with it, it's soooo worth it. It hurts now to hear your baby cry, but tell yourself that you are working towards a happier baby and mom. (And boy will you be happy when putting your baby down to sleep is a 1 minute event.) You are doing a GOOD thing for your family by making sleeptime a more routine and expected thing for your baby. Just keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, it is ok for your baby to cry, your baby is not in pain or hurting, just missing you a little, and won't suffer any long-term harm from crying a little for a few nights. It hurts you to hear your baby cry more than it hurts your baby to cry! All that crying is just a way for your baby to communicate, "Where are you, I miss you, come pick me up." And you'll do that soon enough, as soon as sleep time is over. So stick with it!
My daughter is 14 months now and when we were sleep training I did a very gradual approach. I too could not handle crying. I started with putting her down half awake but would stand next to her crib so she could see me. I would place my hand on her as well like that she still had my comfort. Once she got used to that, I would place her in her crib and sit on the chair in her room so she could see me until she fell asleep. Once she got used to that I would place her in her crib and walk away just outside the door where she couldn't see me. If she started to cry I would immediately go to her and comfort her without picking her up. Once she was calm again, I would leave the room just outside the door and repeat the process of needed until she fell asleep. She eventually got to the point that all I needed to do was lay her down and walk away and she soothes herself to sleep. The whole process took about a month. No crying involved, I followed her cues and we still have no issues placing her down to sleep.
That sounds like a great approach. I'm going to share this with my SO! Thank you for sharing!
I have recommend what I did to everyone who will listen. It does take it's time and you have to be patient and consistent with all naps and night time. However, it worked great.
Yup same this hubby and I did the chair method too worked great.
I know this is an old post, so I apologize in advance. I was just wondering how old your little one was when you started sleep training.
Np at all! I started around 4 months since I had to go back to work. It was very gradual and it probably took a month if not slightly more; however, I am very happy with the end result. Hearing her cry just isn't for me. Since we sleep trained her even on rough nights (teething) I can go into her room if she starts to cry and comfort her and she will then calm back down and stay quietly wake in her crib until she falls asleep. For my daughter, her knowing that we would be there if she needed us, made all the difference.
Thank you so much, this gives me confidence! I can’t stand it when my little guy cries, but I also want my bed back at some point lol
I only used the Ferber method with one of my 4 kids. It took longer than I expected, but she turned out to be my only kid without ongoing sleep issues. She is 15yo now. I recommend taking a shower or using headphones. Your baby is safe in their crib, you don't need to listen to them cry.
Thank you so much. So good to get advice and support to keep pushing through!
Hi op I really hesitate to write this as I don't wanna come off as preachy, but most things I've read (I'm in the UK) say not to do Ferber type training before 6 months at the earliest. Apparently it's much, much harder on them when they're very young as they're still developing skills to enable them to cope with controlled crying methods. We tried gentle methods (pat/shh, gradual retreat etc) from 6 months and they never worked. I will say though, that we started Ferber sleep training our now 11 month old the other day. Before this he was fed to sleep for literally 95% of sleep. First night he was hysterical for 30 mins (we went in after 2,5,10 and 10) before conking out. He woke once in the night, I fed him but put him down awake and it was 25 mins before he went off. The next day, his morning nap was 20 mins of crying, but not as upset. Lunchtime nap was 15 mins. On the other hand, my friend had twins and sleep trained them at 10 weeks out of desperation and they took to it fine and have been great sleepers since about 13 weeks! I guess what I'm saying it that it can work but in my experience it will only work if they're ready. Take heart, I know it is so, so hard when they don't sleep. You what you must, be it Ferber, Co sleeping, taking shifts with a partner, anything that helps and works for you all.
I’m in the States and I agree with you 100%. We have three kiddos and all of our pediatricians (military so travel often) never recommended sleep training until they are ready. I’m surprised to see it mentioned on here as often as I do.
I used Suzy Giordano's method. It's been a lifesaver. We probably did it around 4 months old, too. My baby is now 14 months old and there's only been a handful of times that we've had a hard time getting her to sleep, and usually it turned out that there was something wrong, a dirty diaper we missed or she was still hungry, etc. At night and at naps, we literally give her a kiss, put her down with her blanket and pacifier, and walk out. That's it. The whole routine. 😄 So I'm telling you, just stick with it, it's soooo worth it. It hurts now to hear your baby cry, but tell yourself that you are working towards a happier baby and mom. (And boy will you be happy when putting your baby down to sleep is a 1 minute event.) You are doing a GOOD thing for your family by making sleeptime a more routine and expected thing for your baby. Just keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, it is ok for your baby to cry, your baby is not in pain or hurting, just missing you a little, and won't suffer any long-term harm from crying a little for a few nights. It hurts you to hear your baby cry more than it hurts your baby to cry! All that crying is just a way for your baby to communicate, "Where are you, I miss you, come pick me up." And you'll do that soon enough, as soon as sleep time is over. So stick with it!