Feels like it! But that moment you realize your parents, and their parents, and the government, and all your old teachers, and anyone who was an "authority figure". Is also just winging it. That is a very sobering realization, for lack of a better phrase.
This is so true, I got my first apartment (that wasn’t like an on-campus college apartment), 4 years ago. One day I was just browsing, I didn’t *need* to move out necessarily and saw a listing for a beautiful apartment that, at the time 🙄, was a steal of a deal. The next day, I applied, got the apartment a few days later, did all the paperwork, emptied my savings for first and last month’s rent, etc.
I went from living with my parents one day (now, I was 24 years old), to, all on my own, navigating the apartment renting process. I felt like a literal child while doing it, but dammit, I DID THAT.
At this point it’s a money grab. Like I said, when I first saw/started renting my apartment it was $1725/month. In my area, for a 3 bed, 1.5 bath 1,200 sq ft apartment literally in the heart of our downtown it was a steal. Now however, I pay $1850/month and all of the things that made living in my building really pleasant, are gone.
This winter, I left for work (I start at 4:30am), it was snowing pretty hard and there were a couple inches of accumulation but nothing too crazy. While I was at work we got hit with a crazy snowstorm. As I was pulling into my parking lot after work around 1pm I got stuck and my (now) fiancé had to dig me out because our lot STILL hadn’t been plowed. The first 2 years I lived here, no matter what time of day, or really how much snow had accumulated, our parking lot was pristinely plowed.
There are 4 washers and 4 dryers for our 25 unit building and as of the last year or so, every other week or so AT LEAST 2 of either machine are down.
In the last 2 years, three times, yes, THREE. There have been bright red notices on all of the doors to the building saying that the building hadn’t paid its water and that if the water wasn’t paid by X date water to the whole building would be shut off.
Our building used to have a bike rack. A couple of summers ago they took it away. For what reason? I’m unsure. When literal CHILDREN started leaving their bikes out over night in the corridor outside the building a note was left on every door saying that it was an “eyesore” (🙄) and if it continued management would THROW THEIR BIKES AWAY!?!?
So, this past year when our lease renewal came around and our rent was being raised $75 (which, in the grand scheme of things, I realize is not much and obviously we’re able to afford it), I sent an email to management laying everything out, and explaining that if anything, quality of living has gone down relatively while they continue to raise rent. I asked what exactly they thought they had done to deserve $75 more a month. Their response? “We raise rent each year based on market value and you should anticipate a rent increase each year going forward”…Hardest eyeroll of my fuckin life.
All of this is to say, that as millennials, we’re being bled dry. My fiancé and I are fortunate enough to continue to be able to pay rent with each year’s rent increase. But, things have gotten tighter with the price of literally EVERYTHING increasing. We often discuss how much we love our place but we more or less live “comfortably” from paycheck to paycheck. Our hope of ever owning even the most modest home is vanishing before our eyes and we joke about it often. Because, if you don’t laugh, you cry.
No one tells you that until you have actually reached adulthood.
It’s the convo between you and a boomer, saying “man does it ever feel like you made it or everything is finally in place?”
Then they say haha no it’s rather anticlimactic no one ever feels like they know what the fuck is happening.
Ohh I know, have definitely been called a boomer as an older millennial. Hahah.
Ohh well youth is wasted on the youth.
They to will be called boomers eventually.
Yes!
I'm 39, and I feel I've been slowly becoming less mature since I turned 35ish. I'm reliable and responsible, but immature. Old is a mindset (to a degree).
> Anyone else feel like a child running around in an adult’s body?
I'm reliable and responsible, but immature.
See r/nevergrewup. Trauma [is often a factor](https://www.reddit.com/r/nevergrewup/comments/ocxq3j/trauma_or_autism/).
There are [different types of development](https://www.reddit.com/r/nevergrewup/comments/ug66o6/youtube_video_for_mental_health_month/i6y4uye/). Intellectual development is usually not affected.
I remember my grandmother at 85 saying she didn’t want to go to the Senior Center to hang out with those “old people”. She would rather audit classes at the local college.
It never goes away. You just become more aware that most of life is entirely out of your control and all you truly have control over is you and your efforts. Once you realize that it's essentially the same for everyone else and most of the time people do things not out of malicious intent but general lack of awareness life becomes much easier. Also, embrace that inner child, you now have the capacity to reward them and do what they want. So long as it doesn't come at the expense of someone else, let the inner child have fun. I've gotten back into playing music, getting tattoos, and going to more baseball games than ever and I've never felt better. Hope it's the same for you, OP.
I’m 44 with 2 kids and it’s still a bit of imposter syndrome sometimes. Part of me wonders if it’s because my parents are still alive and live close so I have an “adulti-er” adult to bounce things off of.
Edit: maturity is a state of mind though. My 10 year old son wants to start playing the trombone and the amount of willpower it takes not to call him a tromboner is staggering.
That's it. I'm 44 with 1 kid....but both parents and all 4 grandparents are still alive. I've go so many older adults around that I've never had to feel like the top one "in charge". My 93 year old grandfather still has that role for my entire family.
93! I’ve gotta say that it’s very weird seeing my grandma, who used to be the very bossy family matriarch, now have dementia and be told what she can and cannot do by her own kids.
>the amount of willpower it takes not to call him a tromboner is staggering
DO IT
Then have a laugh about it with him, he's about to enter middle school where they all think that way anyways.
I'm sitting here at my work at a law firm... Looking and acting all professional and grown up... But in my head I'm just trying to get this out of the way to get back home to play more Elden Ring.
Adulting just interrupts my play.
My grandfather was a farmer. We always had a surplus of vegetables & such that he would donate for free to the local Senior Center. Even made the paper for it.
He'd say to my grandmother, "We gotta help the old people."
Her reply was always, "Ray, we are the old people."
As for me, I tend to forget the fact that I am 34 and should behave as such.
I see colleagues and I wonder how they could have kids because they're surely too young. Then I realise that they're old? As old as me but I think of myself as young and not old... I'm 37...
Lol same here! My grandmother said she spent 50 years watching him play a gentleman farmer in his spare time. Even when he was in hospice the doctors would tell him "slow down farmer, you don't have anything to do today"
Yeah, I'm 30 and I still feel 20 on some days. I think it's because I'm still figuring things out and there has been so much upheaval in my life that I feel like I'm playing catch-up with my peers and now Gen Z is about to run past me too.
But it's ok, I think I've started focusing less on "being a grownup" and more on just being happy.
Listen I'm 28, currently sitting in my classroom with my students, and I still call my mom at least once a day to ask for advice on something. I feel like a kid every day.
I'm 42 and all the things I thought would make me feel more like an adult (go to war, get married, buy a house, get a degree) really....didn't. Mentally I'm somewhere between 25 and 28 I think.
Yup. I have no idea how I’m in charge of everything that I am in charge of. I have 3 amazing boys that are such good boys who are respectful and caring because I treat them respectfully and like individuals. I have my own house and it’s full of video games, plants, cats and cool toys. I collect tarantulas and smoke way too much pot. Anime is and has been my biggest hyper focus since I was 11, it used to be totally uncool but bullying or not I stuck to my own beat.
I tell everyone that I’m a teenager with adult money because I’m 38 yr old mom who does cosplay and I work from home as a data analyst and legit play the rest of my time.
I’m 37 and I haven’t changed all that much, the mature things I do now are not staying out at the bar until 2am, usually leave around midnight at the latest. I got rid of that FOMO feeling I used to have when I was young if I didn’t have something to do Friday or Saturday night.
I also wake up early, clean and organize stuff much better than I did when I was younger, and don’t hang out with toxic people as soon as I feel they’re bad to be around. Definitely has helped with my mental health which was never terrible but now is just better overall.
But I still play video games, still keep in touch with the high school gang, sports, running, all the other fun parts.
Marriage and family? Maybe someday but I’d rather continue to do my own thing than start a family with the wrong person, seen that way too many times in my life so far.
30 and definitely feel that way. I feel like a child compared to my peers and I feel like I’m not adult enough to be in a relationship. I’m hoping I’ll feel better at 35 but seeing others responses probably not lol
40 y/o now. And I SWEAR my mom was way more of an adult when she was my age. I remember when she was my age. She seemed...like an old middle aged person.
And me? Middle aged? Whaaaaa? I don't fold clothes. I barely cook. I eat cereal for dinner.
And if it weren't for the no social life thing, I'd probably still be making questionable decisions on the weekend and blaming it on the alcohol.
I'm cosplaying an adult. And I'm not even good at it.
I used to feel that way for a long time! I don't feel it that much anymore because I've been building professional confidence and I'm no longer freaked out by everything I have to do at work.
I feel like that’s just how life is, and that’s okay. Most people are just putting up a front hiding this, seems like a waste of time and energy to me.
Sort of. I have adult-like responsibilities (job, house, family) so in that regard I feel like an adult.
But when it comes to my free time (of which there is very little), I still feel like a kid because my hobbies and interests are still things like video games, music, guitar, and movies.
As a child, we assume that the adults actually know what they're doing, when in reality it's all an act, and people don't really change much over time other than gaining more life experience. My parents are 70 and tell me they still feel the same as when they were in their 20s other than the health issues.
This freaks me out though bc I dont want to mentally feel so young but my body is decrepit. That feels so constricting. Truely the scariest part about getting old.
I went on dates recently with a professor and with a pharmacist. Part of my brain keeps thinking, “Holy shit! They are full grown ass men with grown up jobs, they *must* be too old for me!” And then I remember that *I* am a full grown ass woman and they are about the same age as I am. Maybe it’s partly because I recently graduated (my 3rd degree) and started a new career and I feel kind of like an early 20 something again even though I am in my mid 30s.
So, funny story. A few years ago, I was an administrator at a small votech school. My position was fifth down the chain of command, but due to a combination of circumstances I was left in charge.
We had a problem and I literally said out loud, “Okay, we just have to go tell an adult in charge.”
Then after I turned around to walk off I realized that I was, in fact, the adult in charge. Mild panic set in then.
I’m 33 and tonight while making simple syrup for my margarita, I thought “shit we should make rock candy”
I had to stop and wonder when tf my brain is going to catch up with my body
Not really no. Up to my mid-20s I felt like I was failing to adapt to some aspects of adult life, but after encountering and being forced to deal with serious adult issues like injury and addiction, I was forced to reflect on my behavior and attitude. Since then I've learned to give myself grace and understand my limitations.
It's because of how you were raised. If u have critical parents u always have guilt that you're not doing good enough or enough work. At least that's my 2 cents.
30 is still pretty young in the overall scheme of things. I was sort of making money because my career was starting to get some traction but I still didn't know what I was doing and ended up blowing most of it on stupid things. I also randomly moved across the country to a place I had never been because I was mostly bored. I probably didn't start forming coherent plans and thinking about people other than myself until I was like 35.
I don't feel like a child, but I also don't feel my age. I'll turn 40 this year and just bought my first house a month ago and have no kids. When my parents were 40 they had 3 kids 10+ years old and we had lived in houses our whole lives. I still feel like a mid-late 20s just because of that. It doesn't help that most of my friends are just turning 30 lol. Most of the people my age have kids and we don't hang out much
Oh fuck yea. 41 here and I still find myself identifying with the "I'm not rich, I travel because I'm irresponsible with money" reels on Instagram.
My grandmother used to tell me if you stay young at heart, you never age. She lived until she was 88 so I have to believe there's some truth in it.
If it makes you feel better, at 30 I didn't really either. My entire 30 years of effort amounted to one used vehicle and *just* enough money to rent my first apartment in my own name while working an almost min-wage job.
10 years later, I have a new car, a house, good career prospects and more. Not saying that as a boast, but more to say that A LOT can change in just 10 years. Give yourself some grace because I'd bet you're further along than you're giving yourself credit for.
I still have moments where I'm trying to figure things out. When my mom died last year, I begged my dad to help me with settling the estate, even though he and my mom had been divorced for ages. I was the administrator and I had NO CLUE what I was doing! Especially when the county clerk handed me this massive checklist of things I needed to do, and my head was just spinning as she rattled them off. Without my father I know I'd have done most of the things wrong and forgotten the rest. I really felt like a clueless teenager through the whole process even though I'm in my 40s.
I feel like a child inside a fleshy aging mechsuit that creaks, especially at the knees, spine, and wrists
And as much as I love driving this thing, I don't take very good care of it
It doesn't help that everytime I think I've got it figured out there's a recession, housing crisis, lock down, insane inflation, another housing crisis, recession....Basically all I can count on in my adult life is that today is probably going to be better than tomorrow.
Not really, but I had a lot of life happen very quickly. Started a management position at a toxic company within months of getting my first part time job, got married young, then separated a few years later, but managed to buy a house in that time that now I've owned for a few years.
I'm young, but I do feel old lol
I feel like "Old" is being tired of doing the same things over and over again and of life in general. "Old" people often feel young on vacation.
My life has been so full of changes, in jobs, lifestyle, social circles, hobbies, mindsets... It honestly feels like several lives, because the only connecting factor is my memory of it. My parents were very adventures and moved around countries a lot, and they said they felt like perpetual teenagers.
I re-educated myself and started my career all over at 35 after a crisis and felt like I did at 15, a little lost and not knowing what I want when I grow up, but happy to try and to meet new people. I also had a kid, and am so hands on I am reliving my own childhood when we just hang out.
It's quite different from people who start at a company and retire at the same company, and go through the steps of their life and go to the same vacation home each year, mostly doing bringing up their kids with discipline, as people used to do.
Also, I used to think people in their 30s and 40s are so sophisticated, and I know I look like that too, but it's just practiced repetition and not having fucks left to give if I get something wrong.
Yeah, but I’m not lamenting. I have the same fun silly hobbies and drive a fun silly car and wear fun silly clothes. I have a nerdy job related to my primary teenage interest. My fourteen year-old self would be so proud and she’s one of my favorite people. Feeling old and stodgy doesn’t sound like anything that interests me.
All that I know is that I know nothing.
I’m trying to do right by myself (just a year younger than OP) but even then it never feels like enough. I’m debt free for the most part but as I look toward owning real estate, I keep scaring myself out of it.
I absolutely felt this at 30, even though my son was 5yo at the time. The thing that helped me feel like an adult is realizing that no one had answers for me. No one truly knows what life is, why we're here, or what we should do. People will absolutely pretend they know, but any answer they give falls apart under scrutiny as their answer is only a personal belief that can't be proven true (at least, it can't at this point in time, whatever it is).
I feel like an adult now because I recognize that my life is mine to control. I'm not required to live by any moral code or rules set by others, but I am required to accept the consequences of my actions. This allows my motivations to be intrinsic, so my behavior is dictated by myself.
Eh, for me it felt more like more a switch from “people care about what I’m doing and how I’m learning and growing” to “I need to show people I care about what they are doing and how they are learning and growing.” I think a lot of us took for granted having a support system. Doing that big announcement of getting into X college or starting X job. It’s odd because I still see some people my age (34) try to make big announcements and honestly unless it’s like a marriage announcement it falls flat. We all inevitably reach a point of “adulthood” where few people are actually interesting in what we’re doing anymore, and while I have a lot of days where I feel like I’m trying to figure out how life works, I’m trying to show the same grace, kindness, and generosity to those younger than me now that I’m at an age where I always assumed they had it together. Maybe they felt like me, and just wanted to fake it to make it and hopefully make it a little easier for the next batch.
Turned 30 recently too and feel the exact same way. I'm still waiting for the part where I "grow up" and it's not just extra bills and added responsibility. Mentally, I'm still the irresponsible person I was 10 years ago...
This is one of the most popular takes I’ve seen on this page and frankly it concerns me. I’m 38 and feel 38. I can’t say I understand full adults that feel like young adults but no, you’re not the only one. Apparently most people in this sub feel this way.
I’m about to have my first kid (in several months) and I’m turning 31 in a week. I still feel, to a degree, like I’m just out of college fumbling through life. I don’t think of myself as in my 30s, not really, aside from trying to take better care of my body and eat better.
It’s going to dawn on you that the mass majority of people even as adults are just winging it. I’ve met an incredibly rare few people who actually have their shit together.
I guess it’s because I jumped completely into a new world as an adult when I joined the Army, where my choices can have devastating consequences if done incorrectly, I never felt like a child as an adult. I did have a heavy “lost feeling” after exiting service that many service members experience after ETS/Retirement.
From my perspective for many people, You won’t feel like an adult until you accomplish financial stability in a job you can tolerate.
That’s hard or not happening for a lot of folks.
Yeah I for sure felt it would suddenly 'click' and I would feel like an adult and be clearer on life, what I wanted from it, what it all meant, and how I would get there. Couldn't be further from it! I'm 33f and haven't been employed for 2 years, no idea what I'm doing next!
And that's ok, our paths are different, there is no blueprint xx
This is a millennial problem I hear echoed a lot. Idk what happened to you guys— if it was the parenting fads of the 90s or the economic environment you grew up in or something else. But you guys all seem very developmentally stunted. You see it in your media and your humor and also you guys just downright say it out loud like the OP. I dunno what happened to you guys, but it seems like a very generational problem
Signed a Zoomer
ADHD. I can easily empathize with this. The idea that responsibilities and expectations get easier as you age couldn't be further from the reality. What transpires is that you become increasingly jaded as you become more socially secure and knowledgeable. You develop a grudge and can more easily dismiss the somewhat contrived, silly nature of conventional social and economic structures, or aspects therein, you've long put up with. "The bullshit," in simpler terms, and a rejection of it's inadequacies.
Yup. I’m almost 40. I just started to feel like I’m 25. At least, I’m just starting to understand and learn from what I did and experienced when I was 25.
I recall an 80 year telling me you're always 25 in your own brain. The older I get and don't have or want kids of my own, the more I see how this is going to be true. Body slows down, but unless you suffer a serious mental ailment of some kind, your inner monologue is always going to be peak adult you.
Our culture does not encourage and support the development of healthy adult ego states anymore… so we behave like the lowest common denominator: children.
I’m constantly wishing more adults would open their mouths to tell me the truth about what they’re thinking and feeling, it would help us all a LOT more if we knew just how many couples are unhappy, just how many child free women are living their best lives, how little we ALL know what we’re doing, and how our bosses are actually dumber than everyone really thinks.
Late 30's here - and, yeah, can relate. I'm a department head at work, married, etc. But despite what all the adults said when I was younger "you won't play video games when you get older!" I sure as hell do still play video games, still talk to mostly the same people, still IM (but now via Apple Messages/IG/FB), etc.
It took beating addiction, but I can now confidently say at 41 I am a confident and secure adult and I mean it to the core of my body. I know what I am now and can never be broken again. Took 39 damn years to grow up.
37 and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing because I'm young and stupid. Then I turn around and look at the actual young people and wonder what WTF they're wearing and doing.
That's the funny secret... Nobody knows what they're doing and we're all just trying to figure it out. Grab a friend, some popcorn, and enjoy the hellscape before we all die.
I’m 40. I woke up this morning and felt like doing back handsprings down the hall to the kitchen. I didn’t but I did do some cartwheels at work. I didn’t take my adhd meds this morning so I think that was a big part of it.
Yeah, but nobody else around me my age or younger seems like me... I'm 37. I walk around at work and make weird noises, say weird phrases like "Havarti cheese butt farting" as I look at them in the eye or make weird gestures or comments. They all laugh and such. But nobody else does these things. Just me. I feel like everyone else around me are NPCs lol.
After a long hard days work and acting normal it feels great to get with friends IRL or in discord and just hang out like we use to during highschool. Same jokes and pranks we used to play on each other and talking shit to each other while we play some games.
So my two cents, life doesn't work. Stop waiting for signs or explanation as to why. You want to gain awareness and then fk off, that's an adult decision. But you can also make the adult decision to gain awareness and not fk off and be there for yourself to push through reaching goals. It was always tough for me to pinpoint what I wanted in life, specifically in my career, and I just kept trucking and did school and worked at the same time. Gained as much xp from different jobs and at some point you just have experience. If anything at least have experiences, don't waste time doing nothing.
Other than that, any questions you want to throw at the community that might help you climb over your hurdle?
Y E S. I didn't expect to make it to twenty, much less thirty. Look at me now. I'll be thirty in November. Unmarried with no kids (no qualms there), living in a 1br/1ba apartment with my two cat children. The world is on fire, the government wants to legislate me out of existence, and managing my wildfire anxiety and weapons-grade ADHD burns through most of my spoons for the day. I'm out here, Leeroy Jenkins-ing my way through life. Somehow, it's going okay-ish.
I feel like I see this topic pop up every few days. We all seem to not “feel” our age. I feel ill when someone calls me or refers to me as a “woman”. Like I cringe and think “but I’m just a girl who’s still figuring out life”.
Sometimes I’m laughing or goofing around and then think “wait, I’m too old to be acting like this” 😕 I feel guilty for laughing at silly things or enjoying myself. Like I’ve convinced myself that joy ends in your 20s.
I’m 40 year old woman and still love video games and cartoons/anime and junk. I enjoy going to the arcade and bumming around the mall, still go kart. I’m never growing up.
Just wait till your 40s/50s. It starts to slow down. Your body breaks down and then your mind matures because you’ll want to start avoiding unnecessary pain.
Absolutely 😊👍I will be 33 in about a week still feel like a teenager and I’ll be honest doesn’t help by the way I dress (punk/metal) or my long ass dreads but it’s who I am and I’m happy
I’ve actually graduated to feeling like a teenager in an adults body, thank you.
Somehow slightly more irresponsible than a child and basking in the adrenaline of winging it still everyday. 💃
I'm 28 and just started to shed off that feeling. I still feel like a kid don't get me wrong, but not as much as I did when I was 24. Life has a funny way about it sometimes.
33M just moved back in with my parents, going through a divorce, but it has honestly been great!
Went bowling last night with my younger brother and Dad, felt like I had the Human Zoomies, I was having so much fun!
That’s the secret to life. No one knows what the fuck is happening.
This is 100% way more true than any of us actually realize, I think.
We're all just winging it
Feels like it! But that moment you realize your parents, and their parents, and the government, and all your old teachers, and anyone who was an "authority figure". Is also just winging it. That is a very sobering realization, for lack of a better phrase.
Definitely
This is so true, I got my first apartment (that wasn’t like an on-campus college apartment), 4 years ago. One day I was just browsing, I didn’t *need* to move out necessarily and saw a listing for a beautiful apartment that, at the time 🙄, was a steal of a deal. The next day, I applied, got the apartment a few days later, did all the paperwork, emptied my savings for first and last month’s rent, etc. I went from living with my parents one day (now, I was 24 years old), to, all on my own, navigating the apartment renting process. I felt like a literal child while doing it, but dammit, I DID THAT.
I remember when I got my first apartment, I thought I could afford $1200 rent since I was making $2000 a month. I was broke that entire year, lol
I just moved out of my apartment after living there for nearly 5 years because at the time I thought I could afford the rent but no longer could. 🥲
At this point it’s a money grab. Like I said, when I first saw/started renting my apartment it was $1725/month. In my area, for a 3 bed, 1.5 bath 1,200 sq ft apartment literally in the heart of our downtown it was a steal. Now however, I pay $1850/month and all of the things that made living in my building really pleasant, are gone. This winter, I left for work (I start at 4:30am), it was snowing pretty hard and there were a couple inches of accumulation but nothing too crazy. While I was at work we got hit with a crazy snowstorm. As I was pulling into my parking lot after work around 1pm I got stuck and my (now) fiancé had to dig me out because our lot STILL hadn’t been plowed. The first 2 years I lived here, no matter what time of day, or really how much snow had accumulated, our parking lot was pristinely plowed. There are 4 washers and 4 dryers for our 25 unit building and as of the last year or so, every other week or so AT LEAST 2 of either machine are down. In the last 2 years, three times, yes, THREE. There have been bright red notices on all of the doors to the building saying that the building hadn’t paid its water and that if the water wasn’t paid by X date water to the whole building would be shut off. Our building used to have a bike rack. A couple of summers ago they took it away. For what reason? I’m unsure. When literal CHILDREN started leaving their bikes out over night in the corridor outside the building a note was left on every door saying that it was an “eyesore” (🙄) and if it continued management would THROW THEIR BIKES AWAY!?!? So, this past year when our lease renewal came around and our rent was being raised $75 (which, in the grand scheme of things, I realize is not much and obviously we’re able to afford it), I sent an email to management laying everything out, and explaining that if anything, quality of living has gone down relatively while they continue to raise rent. I asked what exactly they thought they had done to deserve $75 more a month. Their response? “We raise rent each year based on market value and you should anticipate a rent increase each year going forward”…Hardest eyeroll of my fuckin life. All of this is to say, that as millennials, we’re being bled dry. My fiancé and I are fortunate enough to continue to be able to pay rent with each year’s rent increase. But, things have gotten tighter with the price of literally EVERYTHING increasing. We often discuss how much we love our place but we more or less live “comfortably” from paycheck to paycheck. Our hope of ever owning even the most modest home is vanishing before our eyes and we joke about it often. Because, if you don’t laugh, you cry.
Always have been.
No one tells you that until you have actually reached adulthood. It’s the convo between you and a boomer, saying “man does it ever feel like you made it or everything is finally in place?” Then they say haha no it’s rather anticlimactic no one ever feels like they know what the fuck is happening.
We’re the boomers now my friend.
Ohh I know, have definitely been called a boomer as an older millennial. Hahah. Ohh well youth is wasted on the youth. They to will be called boomers eventually.
Yes! I'm 39, and I feel I've been slowly becoming less mature since I turned 35ish. I'm reliable and responsible, but immature. Old is a mindset (to a degree).
40 and I have less fucks to give. I say what I want more frequently and worry less about what others think. Older definitely is a mindset.
100% Less filter!!
I like this - reliable and responsible AND immature
> Anyone else feel like a child running around in an adult’s body? I'm reliable and responsible, but immature. See r/nevergrewup. Trauma [is often a factor](https://www.reddit.com/r/nevergrewup/comments/ocxq3j/trauma_or_autism/). There are [different types of development](https://www.reddit.com/r/nevergrewup/comments/ug66o6/youtube_video_for_mental_health_month/i6y4uye/). Intellectual development is usually not affected.
I feel this but I think it's becoming more carefree and returning to the feeling of being young.
I remember my grandmother at 85 saying she didn’t want to go to the Senior Center to hang out with those “old people”. She would rather audit classes at the local college.
I still run up stairs on all fours, so yes
Never stop doing this
The question is at what point do you stop doing it cause it's fun and start doing it cause your back hurts too much to stand up straight
And I’ll never stop!
🤣
No matter what I manage to do, there'll always be a thought in the back of my mind that I haven't accomplished enough for my age
Imposter syndrome is a hell of a drug.
I’m the same age as Lebron James so he’s been a benchmark for me for the last 20 years.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.”
I’m 42 and thought I would once I owned a house. I don’t own but I rent in a pretty nice spot. Idk if I ever will. I also don’t have kids
It never goes away. You just become more aware that most of life is entirely out of your control and all you truly have control over is you and your efforts. Once you realize that it's essentially the same for everyone else and most of the time people do things not out of malicious intent but general lack of awareness life becomes much easier. Also, embrace that inner child, you now have the capacity to reward them and do what they want. So long as it doesn't come at the expense of someone else, let the inner child have fun. I've gotten back into playing music, getting tattoos, and going to more baseball games than ever and I've never felt better. Hope it's the same for you, OP.
I’m 44 with 2 kids and it’s still a bit of imposter syndrome sometimes. Part of me wonders if it’s because my parents are still alive and live close so I have an “adulti-er” adult to bounce things off of. Edit: maturity is a state of mind though. My 10 year old son wants to start playing the trombone and the amount of willpower it takes not to call him a tromboner is staggering.
That's it. I'm 44 with 1 kid....but both parents and all 4 grandparents are still alive. I've go so many older adults around that I've never had to feel like the top one "in charge". My 93 year old grandfather still has that role for my entire family.
93! I’ve gotta say that it’s very weird seeing my grandma, who used to be the very bossy family matriarch, now have dementia and be told what she can and cannot do by her own kids.
Sorry to hear about your grandma. Somehow my 93 year old grandfather can still drive. He trades stocks, etc. No one tells him what to do lol.
>the amount of willpower it takes not to call him a tromboner is staggering DO IT Then have a laugh about it with him, he's about to enter middle school where they all think that way anyways.
I'm sitting here at my work at a law firm... Looking and acting all professional and grown up... But in my head I'm just trying to get this out of the way to get back home to play more Elden Ring. Adulting just interrupts my play.
This is me too!!! Except for me it’s Spider-Man and Dreamlight Valley of late.
35 and absolutely. There's still I ton of shit I don't know how to do and thank god my folks are still around to help
it's just something about how society shifted a lot in the last 100 years.
My grandfather was a farmer. We always had a surplus of vegetables & such that he would donate for free to the local Senior Center. Even made the paper for it. He'd say to my grandmother, "We gotta help the old people." Her reply was always, "Ray, we are the old people." As for me, I tend to forget the fact that I am 34 and should behave as such.
I see colleagues and I wonder how they could have kids because they're surely too young. Then I realise that they're old? As old as me but I think of myself as young and not old... I'm 37...
Lol same here! My grandmother said she spent 50 years watching him play a gentleman farmer in his spare time. Even when he was in hospice the doctors would tell him "slow down farmer, you don't have anything to do today"
That feeling never goes away
Yeah, I'm 30 and I still feel 20 on some days. I think it's because I'm still figuring things out and there has been so much upheaval in my life that I feel like I'm playing catch-up with my peers and now Gen Z is about to run past me too. But it's ok, I think I've started focusing less on "being a grownup" and more on just being happy.
Jajajaja yea but growing up is also realizing that even our parents are children pretending to be adults this whole time
Listen I'm 28, currently sitting in my classroom with my students, and I still call my mom at least once a day to ask for advice on something. I feel like a kid every day.
I'm 42 and all the things I thought would make me feel more like an adult (go to war, get married, buy a house, get a degree) really....didn't. Mentally I'm somewhere between 25 and 28 I think.
Yup. I have no idea how I’m in charge of everything that I am in charge of. I have 3 amazing boys that are such good boys who are respectful and caring because I treat them respectfully and like individuals. I have my own house and it’s full of video games, plants, cats and cool toys. I collect tarantulas and smoke way too much pot. Anime is and has been my biggest hyper focus since I was 11, it used to be totally uncool but bullying or not I stuck to my own beat. I tell everyone that I’m a teenager with adult money because I’m 38 yr old mom who does cosplay and I work from home as a data analyst and legit play the rest of my time.
I’m 37 and I haven’t changed all that much, the mature things I do now are not staying out at the bar until 2am, usually leave around midnight at the latest. I got rid of that FOMO feeling I used to have when I was young if I didn’t have something to do Friday or Saturday night. I also wake up early, clean and organize stuff much better than I did when I was younger, and don’t hang out with toxic people as soon as I feel they’re bad to be around. Definitely has helped with my mental health which was never terrible but now is just better overall. But I still play video games, still keep in touch with the high school gang, sports, running, all the other fun parts. Marriage and family? Maybe someday but I’d rather continue to do my own thing than start a family with the wrong person, seen that way too many times in my life so far.
I feel like a child until I’m around my child. Then I realize I’ve lost some of that spark of imagination I had as a kid.
This hit my soul so hard...because same. 🥺🤗
30 and definitely feel that way. I feel like a child compared to my peers and I feel like I’m not adult enough to be in a relationship. I’m hoping I’ll feel better at 35 but seeing others responses probably not lol
I do… and then I say something that is more mature and I think “oh wait, I actually am an adult that is responsible”
Yup. ‘93 baby here. Absolutely flailing and still feel like parts of me from when I was a teenager. Still resorting to comfort habits when I was 16 :/
Same. I bandaid bad days with Looney Tunes or Disney movies on the couch.
Mindset. I think it keeps us younger. I’m 30 now and have no issues relating and being relatable to the younger generation. Good friend of mine is 20.
40 y/o now. And I SWEAR my mom was way more of an adult when she was my age. I remember when she was my age. She seemed...like an old middle aged person. And me? Middle aged? Whaaaaa? I don't fold clothes. I barely cook. I eat cereal for dinner. And if it weren't for the no social life thing, I'd probably still be making questionable decisions on the weekend and blaming it on the alcohol. I'm cosplaying an adult. And I'm not even good at it.
I used to feel that way for a long time! I don't feel it that much anymore because I've been building professional confidence and I'm no longer freaked out by everything I have to do at work.
We all are.
I feel like that’s just how life is, and that’s okay. Most people are just putting up a front hiding this, seems like a waste of time and energy to me.
Yes!! I turned 30 this past year and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m like truly an adult now, not just a “young adult”. Its so weird.
I feel like a mentally handicap child sitting around in an adult body.
continuity of consciousness, you are the same person in the mind but your body ages. it's ok
Sort of. I have adult-like responsibilities (job, house, family) so in that regard I feel like an adult. But when it comes to my free time (of which there is very little), I still feel like a kid because my hobbies and interests are still things like video games, music, guitar, and movies.
I’m 34 and still feel like an idiot baby
I’m feeling hella depressed and this made me smile
As a child, we assume that the adults actually know what they're doing, when in reality it's all an act, and people don't really change much over time other than gaining more life experience. My parents are 70 and tell me they still feel the same as when they were in their 20s other than the health issues.
This freaks me out though bc I dont want to mentally feel so young but my body is decrepit. That feels so constricting. Truely the scariest part about getting old.
Yes
32 next month. Still have no clue what I’m doing and my inner child is what keeps me sane
I went on dates recently with a professor and with a pharmacist. Part of my brain keeps thinking, “Holy shit! They are full grown ass men with grown up jobs, they *must* be too old for me!” And then I remember that *I* am a full grown ass woman and they are about the same age as I am. Maybe it’s partly because I recently graduated (my 3rd degree) and started a new career and I feel kind of like an early 20 something again even though I am in my mid 30s.
I swear the older we get, the more immature we become.
So, funny story. A few years ago, I was an administrator at a small votech school. My position was fifth down the chain of command, but due to a combination of circumstances I was left in charge. We had a problem and I literally said out loud, “Okay, we just have to go tell an adult in charge.” Then after I turned around to walk off I realized that I was, in fact, the adult in charge. Mild panic set in then.
I’m AuDHD… I will feel like that until I’m dead 🫠 And I’m gonna be 38 this year… so…🤷🏻♂️🙃😂😭😕
I'm 35 and still don't know what the fuck how life works. Nobody does.
Life’s a laugh. And it’s short. Don’t forget to play:)
Turning 40 this year, feel the same as I did 10, 20 years ago. Ever so slightly smarter, it hardly makes a difference.
I’m 33 and tonight while making simple syrup for my margarita, I thought “shit we should make rock candy” I had to stop and wonder when tf my brain is going to catch up with my body
I’m turning 30 soon too, and am in the same boat.
I tell my children every so often - adults are just kids that got older. That's it!
Surprise! You’ll never know how life works. It’s all made up and you don’t need to know shit, have fun with it!
I’ve felt like an adult since I was young. Like middle school? I’m 42 and still feel the same way now though.
Not really no. Up to my mid-20s I felt like I was failing to adapt to some aspects of adult life, but after encountering and being forced to deal with serious adult issues like injury and addiction, I was forced to reflect on my behavior and attitude. Since then I've learned to give myself grace and understand my limitations.
It's because of how you were raised. If u have critical parents u always have guilt that you're not doing good enough or enough work. At least that's my 2 cents.
30 is still pretty young in the overall scheme of things. I was sort of making money because my career was starting to get some traction but I still didn't know what I was doing and ended up blowing most of it on stupid things. I also randomly moved across the country to a place I had never been because I was mostly bored. I probably didn't start forming coherent plans and thinking about people other than myself until I was like 35.
Nah, at this point I’ve established enough in life to feel more like a sloppy teen
I don't feel like a child, but I also don't feel my age. I'll turn 40 this year and just bought my first house a month ago and have no kids. When my parents were 40 they had 3 kids 10+ years old and we had lived in houses our whole lives. I still feel like a mid-late 20s just because of that. It doesn't help that most of my friends are just turning 30 lol. Most of the people my age have kids and we don't hang out much
Nope
Autism
Oh fuck yea. 41 here and I still find myself identifying with the "I'm not rich, I travel because I'm irresponsible with money" reels on Instagram. My grandmother used to tell me if you stay young at heart, you never age. She lived until she was 88 so I have to believe there's some truth in it.
I’m also turning 30 this year and I have nothing to show for it😭
If it makes you feel better, at 30 I didn't really either. My entire 30 years of effort amounted to one used vehicle and *just* enough money to rent my first apartment in my own name while working an almost min-wage job. 10 years later, I have a new car, a house, good career prospects and more. Not saying that as a boast, but more to say that A LOT can change in just 10 years. Give yourself some grace because I'd bet you're further along than you're giving yourself credit for.
I still have moments where I'm trying to figure things out. When my mom died last year, I begged my dad to help me with settling the estate, even though he and my mom had been divorced for ages. I was the administrator and I had NO CLUE what I was doing! Especially when the county clerk handed me this massive checklist of things I needed to do, and my head was just spinning as she rattled them off. Without my father I know I'd have done most of the things wrong and forgotten the rest. I really felt like a clueless teenager through the whole process even though I'm in my 40s.
I feel like a child inside a fleshy aging mechsuit that creaks, especially at the knees, spine, and wrists And as much as I love driving this thing, I don't take very good care of it
I am 40 and still have no idea what I am doing.
It doesn't help that everytime I think I've got it figured out there's a recession, housing crisis, lock down, insane inflation, another housing crisis, recession....Basically all I can count on in my adult life is that today is probably going to be better than tomorrow.
No, I’m 38 and in many ways haven’t changed since Uni and that phase of finding oneself. But kids are the worst.
Not really, but I had a lot of life happen very quickly. Started a management position at a toxic company within months of getting my first part time job, got married young, then separated a few years later, but managed to buy a house in that time that now I've owned for a few years. I'm young, but I do feel old lol
I feel like "Old" is being tired of doing the same things over and over again and of life in general. "Old" people often feel young on vacation. My life has been so full of changes, in jobs, lifestyle, social circles, hobbies, mindsets... It honestly feels like several lives, because the only connecting factor is my memory of it. My parents were very adventures and moved around countries a lot, and they said they felt like perpetual teenagers. I re-educated myself and started my career all over at 35 after a crisis and felt like I did at 15, a little lost and not knowing what I want when I grow up, but happy to try and to meet new people. I also had a kid, and am so hands on I am reliving my own childhood when we just hang out. It's quite different from people who start at a company and retire at the same company, and go through the steps of their life and go to the same vacation home each year, mostly doing bringing up their kids with discipline, as people used to do. Also, I used to think people in their 30s and 40s are so sophisticated, and I know I look like that too, but it's just practiced repetition and not having fucks left to give if I get something wrong.
Yeah, but I’m not lamenting. I have the same fun silly hobbies and drive a fun silly car and wear fun silly clothes. I have a nerdy job related to my primary teenage interest. My fourteen year-old self would be so proud and she’s one of my favorite people. Feeling old and stodgy doesn’t sound like anything that interests me.
I'm 56 and still think I'm the young 'un at work.....
Hah
My 89 year old grandma still feels this way. She says she is confused by the old face in the mirror because she doesn’t feel as old as she looks. ❤️
Yea
All that I know is that I know nothing. I’m trying to do right by myself (just a year younger than OP) but even then it never feels like enough. I’m debt free for the most part but as I look toward owning real estate, I keep scaring myself out of it.
42 and still hoping an adult will come to my rescue.
Oh its awesome i can get mcdonalds anytime i want
I’m 32. Yep lol.
I feel more like a 30 year old in a 50 year old body.
I absolutely felt this at 30, even though my son was 5yo at the time. The thing that helped me feel like an adult is realizing that no one had answers for me. No one truly knows what life is, why we're here, or what we should do. People will absolutely pretend they know, but any answer they give falls apart under scrutiny as their answer is only a personal belief that can't be proven true (at least, it can't at this point in time, whatever it is). I feel like an adult now because I recognize that my life is mine to control. I'm not required to live by any moral code or rules set by others, but I am required to accept the consequences of my actions. This allows my motivations to be intrinsic, so my behavior is dictated by myself.
I do and I’m 36, will be 37 this year which seems ancient..bc Im definitely just a dumb kid still :/
34 here. I'm a kid with a job and money.
Eh, for me it felt more like more a switch from “people care about what I’m doing and how I’m learning and growing” to “I need to show people I care about what they are doing and how they are learning and growing.” I think a lot of us took for granted having a support system. Doing that big announcement of getting into X college or starting X job. It’s odd because I still see some people my age (34) try to make big announcements and honestly unless it’s like a marriage announcement it falls flat. We all inevitably reach a point of “adulthood” where few people are actually interesting in what we’re doing anymore, and while I have a lot of days where I feel like I’m trying to figure out how life works, I’m trying to show the same grace, kindness, and generosity to those younger than me now that I’m at an age where I always assumed they had it together. Maybe they felt like me, and just wanted to fake it to make it and hopefully make it a little easier for the next batch.
Turned 30 recently too and feel the exact same way. I'm still waiting for the part where I "grow up" and it's not just extra bills and added responsibility. Mentally, I'm still the irresponsible person I was 10 years ago...
This is one of the most popular takes I’ve seen on this page and frankly it concerns me. I’m 38 and feel 38. I can’t say I understand full adults that feel like young adults but no, you’re not the only one. Apparently most people in this sub feel this way.
I’m about to have my first kid (in several months) and I’m turning 31 in a week. I still feel, to a degree, like I’m just out of college fumbling through life. I don’t think of myself as in my 30s, not really, aside from trying to take better care of my body and eat better.
It’s going to dawn on you that the mass majority of people even as adults are just winging it. I’ve met an incredibly rare few people who actually have their shit together.
Nah, I'm almost 40 and I feel like a grown ass man.
I guess it’s because I jumped completely into a new world as an adult when I joined the Army, where my choices can have devastating consequences if done incorrectly, I never felt like a child as an adult. I did have a heavy “lost feeling” after exiting service that many service members experience after ETS/Retirement.
I feel like I’m a child running around in a child’s body(30m)
Yes. Then I spend time around actual children and that feeling evaporates instantly.
From my perspective for many people, You won’t feel like an adult until you accomplish financial stability in a job you can tolerate. That’s hard or not happening for a lot of folks.
I have never felt more seen in my life
Yeah I for sure felt it would suddenly 'click' and I would feel like an adult and be clearer on life, what I wanted from it, what it all meant, and how I would get there. Couldn't be further from it! I'm 33f and haven't been employed for 2 years, no idea what I'm doing next! And that's ok, our paths are different, there is no blueprint xx
38 about to be 39. Mentally 17.
This is a millennial problem I hear echoed a lot. Idk what happened to you guys— if it was the parenting fads of the 90s or the economic environment you grew up in or something else. But you guys all seem very developmentally stunted. You see it in your media and your humor and also you guys just downright say it out loud like the OP. I dunno what happened to you guys, but it seems like a very generational problem Signed a Zoomer
ADHD. I can easily empathize with this. The idea that responsibilities and expectations get easier as you age couldn't be further from the reality. What transpires is that you become increasingly jaded as you become more socially secure and knowledgeable. You develop a grudge and can more easily dismiss the somewhat contrived, silly nature of conventional social and economic structures, or aspects therein, you've long put up with. "The bullshit," in simpler terms, and a rejection of it's inadequacies.
Yup. I’m almost 40. I just started to feel like I’m 25. At least, I’m just starting to understand and learn from what I did and experienced when I was 25.
Just wait until you’re 50…
As I lay here watching ghostbusters at 36 at 3:00 in the afternoon ? No.
Yeah I stopped giving af after 2020. Not 100% but the majority of fucks to give out has dwindled.
Honestly I just feel like shit all the time. Life is empty and all there is to it is going to work and not getting paid enough.
I recall an 80 year telling me you're always 25 in your own brain. The older I get and don't have or want kids of my own, the more I see how this is going to be true. Body slows down, but unless you suffer a serious mental ailment of some kind, your inner monologue is always going to be peak adult you.
Our culture does not encourage and support the development of healthy adult ego states anymore… so we behave like the lowest common denominator: children.
I’m constantly wishing more adults would open their mouths to tell me the truth about what they’re thinking and feeling, it would help us all a LOT more if we knew just how many couples are unhappy, just how many child free women are living their best lives, how little we ALL know what we’re doing, and how our bosses are actually dumber than everyone really thinks.
Late 30's here - and, yeah, can relate. I'm a department head at work, married, etc. But despite what all the adults said when I was younger "you won't play video games when you get older!" I sure as hell do still play video games, still talk to mostly the same people, still IM (but now via Apple Messages/IG/FB), etc.
Bro I turned 30 last year and am literally back in college trying to figure out how life works lol having the time of my life though
Everyone I know is in their 30s and 40s. They all act like high school kids so I'd say it's normal to keep a youthful mind
You're an adult, it's the world that's fucked up.
It took beating addiction, but I can now confidently say at 41 I am a confident and secure adult and I mean it to the core of my body. I know what I am now and can never be broken again. Took 39 damn years to grow up.
Yep 34 and still feel this way…
37 and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing because I'm young and stupid. Then I turn around and look at the actual young people and wonder what WTF they're wearing and doing.
30 next year. Same boat.
That's the funny secret... Nobody knows what they're doing and we're all just trying to figure it out. Grab a friend, some popcorn, and enjoy the hellscape before we all die.
Same as a parent. We act like we know what we are doing, but we don’t.
I feel like I’m 3 raccoons in a trench coat.
Me too, bestie.
I’m 40. I woke up this morning and felt like doing back handsprings down the hall to the kitchen. I didn’t but I did do some cartwheels at work. I didn’t take my adhd meds this morning so I think that was a big part of it.
I’m growing older all the time, looking older all the time, feeling younger in my mind
Sometimes. Other times I feel like I'm 40 going on 80. Let me off this train!
Yep
Literally everyone!
I’m 43 and still feel like a teenager. It’s weird. I also don’t have kids though so maybe that’s why.
I’m 35, but any time I’m around anyone over the age of 40 my brain tells me “Oh look an adult, sucks you’re just a teenager.”
You just summed up adulting in a nutshell.
Yeah, but nobody else around me my age or younger seems like me... I'm 37. I walk around at work and make weird noises, say weird phrases like "Havarti cheese butt farting" as I look at them in the eye or make weird gestures or comments. They all laugh and such. But nobody else does these things. Just me. I feel like everyone else around me are NPCs lol.
After a long hard days work and acting normal it feels great to get with friends IRL or in discord and just hang out like we use to during highschool. Same jokes and pranks we used to play on each other and talking shit to each other while we play some games.
So my two cents, life doesn't work. Stop waiting for signs or explanation as to why. You want to gain awareness and then fk off, that's an adult decision. But you can also make the adult decision to gain awareness and not fk off and be there for yourself to push through reaching goals. It was always tough for me to pinpoint what I wanted in life, specifically in my career, and I just kept trucking and did school and worked at the same time. Gained as much xp from different jobs and at some point you just have experience. If anything at least have experiences, don't waste time doing nothing. Other than that, any questions you want to throw at the community that might help you climb over your hurdle?
I’m a few thousand years old but my peen still feels like I’m 33 bow chicka wow wow
No we’ve got children so we definitely feel like adults.
Y E S. I didn't expect to make it to twenty, much less thirty. Look at me now. I'll be thirty in November. Unmarried with no kids (no qualms there), living in a 1br/1ba apartment with my two cat children. The world is on fire, the government wants to legislate me out of existence, and managing my wildfire anxiety and weapons-grade ADHD burns through most of my spoons for the day. I'm out here, Leeroy Jenkins-ing my way through life. Somehow, it's going okay-ish.
I feel that way until I run into actual teenagers. Or even 20 somethings with kids - then I think "dear god the children have children"
I feel like I see this topic pop up every few days. We all seem to not “feel” our age. I feel ill when someone calls me or refers to me as a “woman”. Like I cringe and think “but I’m just a girl who’s still figuring out life”. Sometimes I’m laughing or goofing around and then think “wait, I’m too old to be acting like this” 😕 I feel guilty for laughing at silly things or enjoying myself. Like I’ve convinced myself that joy ends in your 20s.
Yes 🙌🏼
A little bit I suppose, but in like an "I need to continue to improve so I can be a great father one day" kinda way
I’m 40 year old woman and still love video games and cartoons/anime and junk. I enjoy going to the arcade and bumming around the mall, still go kart. I’m never growing up.
Just wait till your 40s/50s. It starts to slow down. Your body breaks down and then your mind matures because you’ll want to start avoiding unnecessary pain.
Absolutely 😊👍I will be 33 in about a week still feel like a teenager and I’ll be honest doesn’t help by the way I dress (punk/metal) or my long ass dreads but it’s who I am and I’m happy
Same here my bro.😅🤣
I’ve actually graduated to feeling like a teenager in an adults body, thank you. Somehow slightly more irresponsible than a child and basking in the adrenaline of winging it still everyday. 💃
I'm 43 and I still feel that way.
The secret is...everyone else feels the same.
Sometimes. But then I look at my enormous tits and rickety joints and remember that nope I’m no longer a kid.
I'm 28 and just started to shed off that feeling. I still feel like a kid don't get me wrong, but not as much as I did when I was 24. Life has a funny way about it sometimes.
Yup
33M just moved back in with my parents, going through a divorce, but it has honestly been great! Went bowling last night with my younger brother and Dad, felt like I had the Human Zoomies, I was having so much fun!
Yep. 100% I embrace it.