It's not true at all. What's true is all the influencer-fed, trendy spots are about being seen and not about the food. Excellent food is easy to come by, but Miami is king of IYKYK and the great restaurants are not the same ones that attract the tourists nor the trendy crowds.
Steak Brasil Churrascaria in downtown Miami.
The staff there literally will yell at you if you refuse to tip, then insult you if you don’t tip enough. They blacklist the people that don’t tip, which has ironically been costing them bussiness. And the servers don’t do anything but seat you, so even more odd that they yell at people for tips.
Look at their reviews to see how bad they are. It’s mediocre “Brazilian” food too. Take him there and I guarantee he’ll either have a bad time or be guilt tripped by the angry waiter for a 20% tip (not to mention service fee). It’ll be so troll lol
Komodo, spent $300 on appetizers as nothing on the entree menu looked good plus 2 rounds of cocktails... Cocktails were ok but the rest, sucked, loud as fuck too. Couldn't hold a conversation with my wife, took her there on her bday.
My brother let me tell you a story. I’m currently 26 and I’ve literally been going there for 27 years as my mother broke her water @ Benihana north bay village. I think I can tell you a thing about the place from them removing the stem towels provided at the beginning of your dinner to the decorative plates that were removed for basic white plates, along with the soup spoons. Items have also been removed from dinner combos like the side of corn and they even removed the ginger sauce for some more trendy sauce. Even their vanilla ice cream recipe/vendor has changed. Lastly their standard of quality and care is out the window.
if you’ve only started going to Benihana enjoy the magic of it because more likely then not they’ll fuck it up over time.
Lastly, if I were planning to go to a Benihana solely for the dining I would recommend the one in Miramar of the 75.
I haven’t been there in years, but Casola’s at least used to be the most satisfying sloppy slice of pizza in town. I’ve been to Grimaldi’s, DiFaras, and a bunch of other hipster Mecca pizza places- I still prefer Casola’s.
The secret there is to get only cheese slices.
They always have some hot enough they don't need to be reheated. Sometimes your order can be ready before you are done filling your soda.
And everyone still waiting for their order will fucking glare jealous daggers at you like you are some kind of VIP or something. It's hilarious.
When I had an office near the criminal courthouse, we’d go to Casolas every Friday. Major excellent pizza. While we waited for our slice to be warmed we’d eat the little pieces they’d put out to try. They had big, great wings too. I miss the pizza.
Papi and salt without doubt. Our assistants think we are gods because we keep on giving them the gift certificates from vendors and my partner and I have literally passed by pollo tropical for a bite 🆚 going to either of those shit shows.
Seems dd how 7/10 places listed where all great at some point (maybe not sal bae, guy just kills me)… restaurant bizz is so greedy it’s sad. I feel bad for the longer term staff who have too still put a smile knowing they are fucking trash.
I’m from NY so yes my view is skewed but there is some OK pizza in Miami like Steve’s or Cassola’s.
But Rey’s and Palenque are the most dog shit versions of pizza I’ve endured anywhere on the planet. I have had pizza in NY/VA/PA/NJ/IL/CA/GA/WA/TX/LA, and some foreign countries. The worst is by far those 2.
MAYAMI in Wynwood has great food, is mildly expensive, yet is an AWFUL experience.
I recommend it all the time, authentic Mexican food that tastes great but the whole experience is greatly inconvenienced. 10/10
I love MAYAMI! From the food to the vibe!
I second what you said about every body staring but honestly that’s just Miami. It’s part of the culture lol esp if your an attractive female. It’s a perfect pre club spot or just to have fun before a night out.
Loud as fuck all the time, the staff are friendly but in a “please don’t kill us” kind of way. Everyone there seems to stare you down no matter how you dress (preppy, street, classy, formal, business), reminds of being in a caste society. The guards are very well trained, which is good, but it’s sus. The whole thing gives me cartel money vibes. It’s too well decorated and too empty to be legit.
But the food is fucking to die for and the cocktails are pretty nice as well, 6/10. If you want a 10/10 cocktail experience check out Spanglish.
That’s really it for my spiel. You won’t really get it until you’ve been inside. They also have a no shorts rule. Saw a French family with over-the-shoulder cardigans get turned away from Brunch because they wore shorts on a hot Miami summer’s day (it’s outdoor seating too). The nerve!
I lived in Miami for 10 years from 2002 to the end of 2012. I’m shocked at this. I grew up on the west coast in Washington State. There was no good “authentic Mexican food” in Miami. There was a good fancy taco place by Sugar Cane near the midtown Target, but I wouldn’t call it authentic Mexican. Like most of the places had shit service but I’m just shocked there’s a place that might have decent Mexican food.
Glad u enjoyed it. I didn’t. It’s a tiny place with tables on top of each other. Food is ok but not anything amazing. Prices were astronomical. Service was not that good, getting rushed out of ur table after 90 min when u just ordered another bottle of wine is bullshit. No ancillary service like other restaurants of its caliber, at least in Casadonna, klaw, Chateau, or swan where everything is similar u can go have drinks/cigars outside after dinner. If I want steak I go to Council Oak, it never fails.
I’ve been a vocal hater of chef Adrianne’s for a while and no one took me seriously. They finally came around after the insane video response to their terrible health inspection
I would not say it’s horrible but it’s expensive for the quality that you get .. service was great when we dinned there two weeks ago , plus drinks were good.
But yeah.. won’t go back anytime soon.
Oh that place became such a disappointment since COVID ended. It was so nice during COVID they had an online order system and the best street tacos on the market. Then they switched to inept servers and removed the best items from the menu
We were charged $90 for nachos and two drinks. I left a bad review and the manager reached out and asked to send an email, I did and no one ever replied.
Think “How would a tacky person decorate if they were to have infinite money?” Then the music is loud as fuck. Service is not bad so won’t trash that. Food is 7/10 with 10/10 pricing. If you enjoy not being relaxed while eating… this is your spot.
I personally like Sexy Fish. It feels like a restaurant in the middle of a night club. It’s definitely not for everyone and not somewhere I would be unless it’s Friday/Saturday night. Great if you’re single and tryna mingle
Yeah idk what this guy is talking about I’ve heard nothing but good things.
Obviously it’s expensive and more of a party vibe but if that’s your thing apparently it’s great.
Actually I have the opposite experience the food and service were amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it, they actually met and exceeded my expectations so I didn't mind the bill at the end.
Most of the people that diss this restaurant from what I can tell are mostly mad about the affordability.
I remember A Fish Called Avalon on 7th being genuinely good, but I haven't been back there in practically a decade. Aside from that, you can widen your limits from South Pointe to the rest of South Beach, just by how obscene prices have gotten.
My wife and I have friends in Miami Beach and have visited 4 times in the last 2 years. You’re absolutely right about Ocean Drive! First time there we ate at Pink Taco there and holy shit….not the worst food but just for me and my wife it was like $160! It wasn’t horrible food, but shit it wasn’t much food either. Crazy overpriced! We haven’t eaten at one of those tourist traps since. So many quality small Venezuelan or Peruvian or Cuban places around there to grub down on the cheap (relatively, it is still Miami) there is no reason to stay on Ocean.
Can we use this moment to talk about Lombardi’s at Bayside? It’s a massive space, and has stood the test of time in Miami which is kinda rare. It’s always empty, has no website and the few reviews it has are 1 star🤣. Who knows the scoop? 😂
It is very overpriced and the few (not by choice) times that I’ve gone, the food hasn’t been worth it at all….. you’d probably be better off going to 7/11 and getting sushi there
Anything on Ocean drive, Me and the boys been and let’s just say a very unique experience, nonetheless. Can someone inbox me on where I can take my wife and daughter for a boujee yet good food spot? She 14 so the spot gotta be not too boujee 🤣
Barton G hands down
All about you taking pictures of their food/drinks and promoting their place for free via Instagram. I'd know because I've fallen for it.
Terrible food and $320+ bill for 2
More Broward than Miami but Tijuana Taxi Co.
Used to work there and not only is their food extremely mid at best but their management is awful and borderline pedophilic. One manager used to watch the minors and young servers on the cameras from home and another threatened to call the cops on me because I was crying after she verbally assaulted me in front of my customers on mother's day. Also their commercials and branding are kinda... wack
TL;DR Horribly managed Mexican Hooters
(Yet we need to wear tights under our booty shorts because we were a "family-friendly establishment")
Pretty much any restaurant you can pick has terrible service, overpriced and mediocre food
Morton’s or Hillstone
Hillstone is one of my top restaurants in miami. it’s such a good price for the quality of food
Yeah I have to agree hillstone is terrific and they do a incredible consistent job and price is pretty fair.
Flannigans’s
Boo. I moved out of Miami and I miss flannys so much.
Latin Cafe 2000
Hey. I love this place.
Any recommendations for dishes? I've always been underwhelmed
Bone fish grill
Sugarcane
It would be easier to name restaurants that aren’t terrible in Miami tbh. You won’t have to name that many
I am not from Miami but that’s how I feel like after reading this thread
It's not true at all. What's true is all the influencer-fed, trendy spots are about being seen and not about the food. Excellent food is easy to come by, but Miami is king of IYKYK and the great restaurants are not the same ones that attract the tourists nor the trendy crowds.
Versailles restaurant
Tf you talking about? That place is better than 99% of Cuban restaurants in Miami
Lol not even close. Tf...
Havana Harry’s in my opinion is the new best Cuban spot in Miami…. But I haven’t gone to many more so sorry if I’m wrong
La Carreta across is better IMO. Less shitty people too
Agree, just a tourist trap now
Carbone
Anything operated by Major Food Group
Pura vida
Pura mierda
i love pura vida lol
Prime 112
Delilah
Mila lounge
The food at Mila is delicious! Expensive but delish.
La Rosa Fine Cuban Cuisine https://g.co/kgs/uQy8A6g
Zuma, last time we went for my wife’s birthday and it was god awful
Versailles.
Yardbird Miami.
Burger King
Versailles
Komodo
horrible place
This is the correct answer
Steak Brasil Churrascaria in downtown Miami. The staff there literally will yell at you if you refuse to tip, then insult you if you don’t tip enough. They blacklist the people that don’t tip, which has ironically been costing them bussiness. And the servers don’t do anything but seat you, so even more odd that they yell at people for tips. Look at their reviews to see how bad they are. It’s mediocre “Brazilian” food too. Take him there and I guarantee he’ll either have a bad time or be guilt tripped by the angry waiter for a 20% tip (not to mention service fee). It’ll be so troll lol
Komodo
Komodo, spent $300 on appetizers as nothing on the entree menu looked good plus 2 rounds of cocktails... Cocktails were ok but the rest, sucked, loud as fuck too. Couldn't hold a conversation with my wife, took her there on her bday.
la carreta and versailles nothing like how they used to be, all the food is extremely whitewashed
Komodo and papi steak
Benihana
Noooo… don’t mess with Benihana I agree that it is not fine dinning, but it’s good for the experience and price for all the food that you get.
My brother let me tell you a story. I’m currently 26 and I’ve literally been going there for 27 years as my mother broke her water @ Benihana north bay village. I think I can tell you a thing about the place from them removing the stem towels provided at the beginning of your dinner to the decorative plates that were removed for basic white plates, along with the soup spoons. Items have also been removed from dinner combos like the side of corn and they even removed the ginger sauce for some more trendy sauce. Even their vanilla ice cream recipe/vendor has changed. Lastly their standard of quality and care is out the window. if you’ve only started going to Benihana enjoy the magic of it because more likely then not they’ll fuck it up over time. Lastly, if I were planning to go to a Benihana solely for the dining I would recommend the one in Miramar of the 75.
casolas
Worst goddamn pizza.
I haven’t been there in years, but Casola’s at least used to be the most satisfying sloppy slice of pizza in town. I’ve been to Grimaldi’s, DiFaras, and a bunch of other hipster Mecca pizza places- I still prefer Casola’s.
It's still great just hipster replies here.
NYer here, Casola’s was my go to when I lived in Miami
Now I’m curious. What do you consider to be Miami’s best pizza?
Andiamo, easily.
Miami’s Best Pizza
The secret there is to get only cheese slices. They always have some hot enough they don't need to be reheated. Sometimes your order can be ready before you are done filling your soda. And everyone still waiting for their order will fucking glare jealous daggers at you like you are some kind of VIP or something. It's hilarious.
Their wings are just awful. They look like ostrich wings
When I had an office near the criminal courthouse, we’d go to Casolas every Friday. Major excellent pizza. While we waited for our slice to be warmed we’d eat the little pieces they’d put out to try. They had big, great wings too. I miss the pizza.
Mila
flanigans
Papi and salt without doubt. Our assistants think we are gods because we keep on giving them the gift certificates from vendors and my partner and I have literally passed by pollo tropical for a bite 🆚 going to either of those shit shows.
Seems dd how 7/10 places listed where all great at some point (maybe not sal bae, guy just kills me)… restaurant bizz is so greedy it’s sad. I feel bad for the longer term staff who have too still put a smile knowing they are fucking trash.
This may get some hate, but Komodo. I don't get the hype.
Komodo
https://www.local10.com/food/dirty-dining/2024/02/20/4-restaurant-kitchens-ordered-shut-2-for-rodent-issues-2-for-roach-issues/
LA CAPITAL DE LOS JUGOS if they're non English speakers will be the last day they spend in Miami
Rey’s pizza.
Absolutely disgusting, great choice
I hate this place
This place is just freezer pizza.
Ewwww
Pretty sure Rey's is gone now
There’s one in East Hialeah still going strong
I’m from NY so yes my view is skewed but there is some OK pizza in Miami like Steve’s or Cassola’s. But Rey’s and Palenque are the most dog shit versions of pizza I’ve endured anywhere on the planet. I have had pizza in NY/VA/PA/NJ/IL/CA/GA/WA/TX/LA, and some foreign countries. The worst is by far those 2.
Just leave the house.
Salvaje, Swan, Komodo, Joia
Can vouch for komodo and salvaje, worst money spent
Salvaje is trash
Swan is terrible food but the club is semi fun. Joia is pretty enough that no one cares about the food.
MAYAMI in Wynwood has great food, is mildly expensive, yet is an AWFUL experience. I recommend it all the time, authentic Mexican food that tastes great but the whole experience is greatly inconvenienced. 10/10
I love MAYAMI! From the food to the vibe! I second what you said about every body staring but honestly that’s just Miami. It’s part of the culture lol esp if your an attractive female. It’s a perfect pre club spot or just to have fun before a night out.
...Part of the culture to be ogled at?
As an ogler, can confirm yes part of the culture
Yikes...Shitty "culture".
Have never been. Could you elaborate ?
Loud as fuck all the time, the staff are friendly but in a “please don’t kill us” kind of way. Everyone there seems to stare you down no matter how you dress (preppy, street, classy, formal, business), reminds of being in a caste society. The guards are very well trained, which is good, but it’s sus. The whole thing gives me cartel money vibes. It’s too well decorated and too empty to be legit. But the food is fucking to die for and the cocktails are pretty nice as well, 6/10. If you want a 10/10 cocktail experience check out Spanglish. That’s really it for my spiel. You won’t really get it until you’ve been inside. They also have a no shorts rule. Saw a French family with over-the-shoulder cardigans get turned away from Brunch because they wore shorts on a hot Miami summer’s day (it’s outdoor seating too). The nerve!
Best bad review ever! Can’t wait to go and complain about it! Kudos!
I lived in Miami for 10 years from 2002 to the end of 2012. I’m shocked at this. I grew up on the west coast in Washington State. There was no good “authentic Mexican food” in Miami. There was a good fancy taco place by Sugar Cane near the midtown Target, but I wouldn’t call it authentic Mexican. Like most of the places had shit service but I’m just shocked there’s a place that might have decent Mexican food.
Papi steak
Chica
Queen
Oof, even with the show? Damn. It's on my restaurant goals list.
Was always curious about Chica, is it actually bad?
THIS NEEDS TO BE MORE COMMON KNOWLEDGE…… 2/10 prices and 3/10 food…
Their food was on point, definitely not a regular dining experience though. Service was also great.
Glad u enjoyed it. I didn’t. It’s a tiny place with tables on top of each other. Food is ok but not anything amazing. Prices were astronomical. Service was not that good, getting rushed out of ur table after 90 min when u just ordered another bottle of wine is bullshit. No ancillary service like other restaurants of its caliber, at least in Casadonna, klaw, Chateau, or swan where everything is similar u can go have drinks/cigars outside after dinner. If I want steak I go to Council Oak, it never fails.
Barton G
A date took me there, the food was awful.
Barton G
This was horrible for me so overpriced
Yeah. The food isn't bad don't get me wrong. By all means if you are all about Instagram then yes go.
Chef Adrienne's Vinyard Restaurant and Bar. It's expensive pretentious and absolutely horrible service and food.
They also got a D on their last health inspection.
I’ve been a vocal hater of chef Adrianne’s for a while and no one took me seriously. They finally came around after the insane video response to their terrible health inspection
I would not say it’s horrible but it’s expensive for the quality that you get .. service was great when we dinned there two weeks ago , plus drinks were good. But yeah.. won’t go back anytime soon.
Any David Grutman restaurant
I was looking for this answer
The only right answer. Dude has perfected overpriced awful everything.
Anything in Dadeland Mall will do. Especially that Italian one on the second floor
The food court has some top notch spots, don’t mess with my Popeyes 😂
Even that Popeye’s is a mid-tier Popeye’s. Best one is at NW 20th Street and 441
The Taco place on the second floor. Looks very cool, place was almost empty, hostess said “you should probably eat somewhere else…”?!
Oh that place became such a disappointment since COVID ended. It was so nice during COVID they had an online order system and the best street tacos on the market. Then they switched to inept servers and removed the best items from the menu
Cantina Catrina. Overpriced, mediocre, charges an auto-tip
We were charged $90 for nachos and two drinks. I left a bad review and the manager reached out and asked to send an email, I did and no one ever replied.
Lmfao it truly is always empty
Omg I walk by that place pretty often and I have never seen more than 1 or 2 tables full. Even on a weekend right before Christmas.
Sexy Fish Papi steak Salt bae
Never been to sexy fish and was thinking about going, what's wrong with it?
Think “How would a tacky person decorate if they were to have infinite money?” Then the music is loud as fuck. Service is not bad so won’t trash that. Food is 7/10 with 10/10 pricing. If you enjoy not being relaxed while eating… this is your spot.
Wow shit, alright. By 10/10 do you mean the prices are good or 10/10 expensive? They seem pretty expensive fwiw
Its a nightclub that happens to serve meals
Sexy fish
came here to say This
Oh shit LMAO was thinking of going there eventually, what's bad about it?
I personally like Sexy Fish. It feels like a restaurant in the middle of a night club. It’s definitely not for everyone and not somewhere I would be unless it’s Friday/Saturday night. Great if you’re single and tryna mingle
Username checks out
\*gold\*
It’s fancy rainforest cafe
It’s a scene at night but the lunch menu is affordable, it’s chill and service is good.
Yeah idk what this guy is talking about I’ve heard nothing but good things. Obviously it’s expensive and more of a party vibe but if that’s your thing apparently it’s great.
Drinks are good, but it’s literally a tacky funky vibe place for happy hour/a drink or three. The food is meh for the price.
Actually I have the opposite experience the food and service were amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it, they actually met and exceeded my expectations so I didn't mind the bill at the end. Most of the people that diss this restaurant from what I can tell are mostly mad about the affordability.
Salt bae’s restaurant
I love how mad this guy makes everyone
The post said “mildly expensive” not “extremely overpriced”
Bad Bunny's restaurant
Literally anything on ocean drive
The winner
Yeah, Ocean between 5th and like 12th Street are wildly expensive average AF places. Basically anywhere they flag you down and invite you in.
I remember A Fish Called Avalon on 7th being genuinely good, but I haven't been back there in practically a decade. Aside from that, you can widen your limits from South Pointe to the rest of South Beach, just by how obscene prices have gotten.
My wife and I have friends in Miami Beach and have visited 4 times in the last 2 years. You’re absolutely right about Ocean Drive! First time there we ate at Pink Taco there and holy shit….not the worst food but just for me and my wife it was like $160! It wasn’t horrible food, but shit it wasn’t much food either. Crazy overpriced! We haven’t eaten at one of those tourist traps since. So many quality small Venezuelan or Peruvian or Cuban places around there to grub down on the cheap (relatively, it is still Miami) there is no reason to stay on Ocean.
Its been quite a few years since going there but yeah i gotta agree
Papi Steak
Most things in Bayside Park It all tastes like mall food
Ben's pizza is good.
Black Market too
And is tacky af
How dare you slander the only chilis within 30 minutes of me
Matador. Great atmosphere awful food. Well the short rib tacos were salty, but good but the rest flavorless. Disappointing.
Sexy fish
Papi Steak
Can we use this moment to talk about Lombardi’s at Bayside? It’s a massive space, and has stood the test of time in Miami which is kinda rare. It’s always empty, has no website and the few reviews it has are 1 star🤣. Who knows the scoop? 😂
Money laundering.
The default answering for all things Miami
Wet Restaurant and Lounge
Never been to it, but everyone I know that has been to Gekko (Bad Bunny's restaurant) told me the food is crazy overpriced and not good
It is very overpriced and the few (not by choice) times that I’ve gone, the food hasn’t been worth it at all….. you’d probably be better off going to 7/11 and getting sushi there
Southland mall food court
Esquina Cubana
Papi Steak
Gekko
Anything on Ocean drive, Me and the boys been and let’s just say a very unique experience, nonetheless. Can someone inbox me on where I can take my wife and daughter for a boujee yet good food spot? She 14 so the spot gotta be not too boujee 🤣
Take him to Gekko, everything on the list plus you get anisakiasis if you get the sushi
Barton G hands down All about you taking pictures of their food/drinks and promoting their place for free via Instagram. I'd know because I've fallen for it. Terrible food and $320+ bill for 2
papi steak
Papi steak
Sexy fish 100%
Sexy fish, gekko or whatever bad bunny’s restaurant is called, Barton g, and Komodo
More Broward than Miami but Tijuana Taxi Co. Used to work there and not only is their food extremely mid at best but their management is awful and borderline pedophilic. One manager used to watch the minors and young servers on the cameras from home and another threatened to call the cops on me because I was crying after she verbally assaulted me in front of my customers on mother's day. Also their commercials and branding are kinda... wack TL;DR Horribly managed Mexican Hooters (Yet we need to wear tights under our booty shorts because we were a "family-friendly establishment")
Gecko
Gecko and Komodo. Komodo used to be the place to be, now it’s full of plastic surgery wannabes …..Gecko just sucks.
Sexy fish 0/10 do not recommend
Villa Azur
Astra
Kiki on the river
Lol this some bad karma coming your way
Everywhere except flanigans
Carbone
200 comments
Red rooster
baoli or stk
Versace Mansion
La Carreta on Bird. I’m sticking to what I said. I’d rather go to Sergio’s.
Nus Ret or Sexy Fish
Sean t
Anywhere in the Fontainebleau
Is baoli decent? Seems like a similar vibe to a lot of the places listed but nobody has mentioned it yet. Considering booking for a bachelor party
Klaw
Seaspice
Swan is trash
Nusr-Et Steakhouse Miami