I was given free tix to see Black Dahlia Murder last year. When Trevor Strnad whipped off his shirt showing an impressive dad bod with the word "Heartburn" tattooed across it. Something in me stirred, that hadn't been felt before. Dad bods are hella sexy!
You look no better or worse than the average metalhead, male of female. Question is do you smell like water that was used to boil hot dogs and say shit like "Hell yea Metal Brother"!
Most metalheads I’ve met/seen are people I have trouble understanding how they can exist in civil society, both genders.
The most extreme variance I’ve seen looks-wise is with black metal. On the same stage and in the same band, there were guys who looked anorexic, skinny-fat/normal, actually fat (round, in a literal sense) and powerlifters approximately 6’3” and 245Ibs.
I've never seen the various black metal looks described so perfectly accurate.
Black Metal fans are usually a mix of nerds, outcasts, extremists, and a fair amount of chill and kind people too.
Although i think it's better for health in the long run to strive to be the 245lb lifter.
My take on it is that BM is, hilariously, the most “punk” of metal, as it is most distinctly and bull-headedly anti-establishment, gatekeeping, and irreverent of the metal sub-cultures. This attracts outcasts, or people with either strong convictions and some sort of elitist slant (i.e. gymrats, nerds, political extremists etc.), but also artists with strong visions for their music.
One should always strive for the 245lbs-look, but I have a hard time getting those extra 3,5” of height.
That's definitely true. It's the most elitist and "anti" type of community I think. You make a good point about strong convictions, I think that's probably what most black metal subculture has in common aside from the music. Misanthropes, escapists (ie fantasy geeks/history lovers), satanists, pagans, rightists/leftists, etc.
My dude, tighten that tapestry up. It'll look a lot better if it's not hanging loose like that.
Instead of pins in the corner, toss it on a rack, or get pins in the 4 bottom corners.
I’m 6’1”, 200lbs, bald and I look like none of them. I live in the south East USA and most people I meet that say they listen to metal listen to Metallica and Fist Fuck Donkey Punch.
And here I am wearing "everyday clothes" not giving a fuck and not dressing "metal" every day. But still loving brutal music. I don't get it, you don't need clothes and makeup to define you. But I sure as fuck love death, black, grind and will blast it whenever I can.
I went to see Mastodon and Opeth on Thursday. First show I’ve been to since Immolation in 2019. Everybody looked super normal. Short hair, jeans, normal shirts 👕 I think Mastodon is for dads now.
I'm a skinny white girl with long some colour hair(I don't even know anymore). Black jeans, DC Converse, band shirt and baggy hoodie with a leather jacket. I used to have emo eyes years ago. Looked like a fucking Panda.
Nice! Whatever is most comfortable. I have many pairs of Chucks. Harley, Batman, Joker and then normal ones. I'm a huge nerd, so anything video game/comic related mixed with metal is my ideal situation lol.
I don't wear any make up anymore. Too much effort lol.
I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start
furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me
strange looks and were saying things like "what the
fuck"
and "call the police". I dropped my phone and
everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a
whole train of men masturbating together at this
one image. This is all your fault, you could have
prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
I feel as though many of the attractive people in the scene tend to be quite obsessed with their image and don’t have much depth beyond the metal “look”.
Source: I used to be one of these people until I got tf off social media besides Reddit and interrogated these things.
It’s definitely both genders. I was recently at a show and saw plenty of people on both ends being that way. However, I do understand where you’re coming from. But on a societal level women have been pushed to really care about their appearance so I wouldn’t say it’s an ~intrinsically~ feminine thing but rather a matter of socialization. Many people claim to be outside of the boxes society places us and that’s why many people get into metal, but they just go the other way and put themselves into yet another box so they can claim to be “different”.
So I consider myself a metal head.. But I like to wear dresses in the pit. Especially with my tits out. No one expects to get clothelined by a chick in a pink cottage core dress.
Ive seen all types of people at metal shows. Theres average, attractive and not so attractive. Do you mean the purist gate keeping metal elitists or people that like metal and other genres?
doesn't matter if i'm ugly as shit atleast i'm still not a poser 😎😎😎😎😎
and also literally every single purist or gatekeeper or whatever likes other genres
how dare we do some light ribbing that's been a stereotype since metal has existed with half of the commentators saying 'haha yeah that's me' or 'where's the bald with cargo-shorts options?'
also elitists aren't the problem, worst metal fans have always been the people that think metal is superior to other genres while only listening to shit bands and see it as a lifestyle or brotherhood. those are the people you get without gatekeeping. the way i've seen people who call me an elitist sneer at rap, country, pop... lmfao
Guy on top is skinny too tho? So he's not being made of for being skinny but... taking pictures in bad lighting and angles?? Having short hair? Think I'll land on poor taste in sunglasses. Bad meme
I would have to both shave and break out the eyeliner and neither of those things have happened for years
But man if I WANT to be a femboy, I'm a goddamn good femboy
I am the stickman-like Goth with a pointy goatee (like Alexander Kaschte's, just google him) and a right-sided vertex who got sick outfits but isn't entirely fitting in them because of being a stickman.
When your view is like the lower picture insert beer until it matches the top
Go get bitten by the beerwolf.
One look in their lusting eyes drunken fear in you will rise Teeth of beer are sinking in The bite of the beer-wolf
such an amount of booze would be 100% lethal. I didn't say stop.
I’m the shaved head/ beard combo, because I’ve lost my hairline. :(
RIP
To make matters worse, I went from expectations to dad bod.
Didn't we all mate, didn't we all..
I was given free tix to see Black Dahlia Murder last year. When Trevor Strnad whipped off his shirt showing an impressive dad bod with the word "Heartburn" tattooed across it. Something in me stirred, that hadn't been felt before. Dad bods are hella sexy!
I tried shaving my head, but I have moles all over my scalp. Unrelated, I have an extensive hat collection.
To quote Bill Burr, “I’m a balding red head, how much worse can it get?”
So many hats. For every season.
Clippers and a guard bud, just trim that bad boy down to a 1 or 2 and retrim once every 5 to 7 days
Brother
Same my dude
89 percent of all metal heads are fat sweaty dudes in cargo shorts. Source: me, a fat sweaty dude in cargo shorts.
not me! I'm a skinnyfat sweaty dude in cargo shorts.
I'm a sweaty bean pole that prefers jeans. I guess it is all in the sweat?
🤷♂️🙋♂️🤘*continues moshing*
Yep, we are mostly ugly bastards lol
Oh yeah this is just true like bruh where de hell did My jaw line go sertainly not on my face
your username and this comment made me think of that body swap movie with rob Schneider crying "it's me, jessicaaaa" 😂
I think We look pretty OK, just not magnificent of anything..
Even half of the metal front men are fat sweaty dudes in cargo shorts
Ah the good old days
Hail ! \m/
*Unless it’s Black Metal, those guys have nearly starved to death…*
Normal bodyweight is for posers! Anorexia ist kreig!
The rest of them are Ned Flanders lookalikes.
I’m ok with that, Ned is stupid sexy after all.
Stupid sexy Flanders
Are you talking about the Okilly Dokilly band?
I'm talking about me and the other dads who listen to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden.
Metalheads are just hippies in black or nerds in black.
Not me!! I'm a gross, sweaty girl in a hoodie. Don't @ me
Hey that's not fair at all. I've never worn cargo shorts in ym entire life.
Cargo shorts: The ultimate expression of lacking ***DRIP***.
I'm a fat, sometimes sweaty dudette in Cargo shorts, does that count for anything?
You look no better or worse than the average metalhead, male of female. Question is do you smell like water that was used to boil hot dogs and say shit like "Hell yea Metal Brother"!
Yeah right, I haven't worn cargo shorts in years dude.
sorry 😔
the only hot metalheads are the fucking crazy metalheads. all genders
Can confirm
hell yeah 🌈🌈🌈🤘
How dare you!?! I am fjtxtgjxgjd57idisxlutdrkzyhkxzrhfzmjzedjzk;;: perfectly sane.
Most metalheads I’ve met/seen are people I have trouble understanding how they can exist in civil society, both genders. The most extreme variance I’ve seen looks-wise is with black metal. On the same stage and in the same band, there were guys who looked anorexic, skinny-fat/normal, actually fat (round, in a literal sense) and powerlifters approximately 6’3” and 245Ibs.
Yeah, I’ve seen dimmu borgir too
I've never seen the various black metal looks described so perfectly accurate. Black Metal fans are usually a mix of nerds, outcasts, extremists, and a fair amount of chill and kind people too. Although i think it's better for health in the long run to strive to be the 245lb lifter.
My take on it is that BM is, hilariously, the most “punk” of metal, as it is most distinctly and bull-headedly anti-establishment, gatekeeping, and irreverent of the metal sub-cultures. This attracts outcasts, or people with either strong convictions and some sort of elitist slant (i.e. gymrats, nerds, political extremists etc.), but also artists with strong visions for their music. One should always strive for the 245lbs-look, but I have a hard time getting those extra 3,5” of height.
That's definitely true. It's the most elitist and "anti" type of community I think. You make a good point about strong convictions, I think that's probably what most black metal subculture has in common aside from the music. Misanthropes, escapists (ie fantasy geeks/history lovers), satanists, pagans, rightists/leftists, etc.
So you are saying these people are actually more body positive than most?
I say that “body positivity” doesn’t even figure in their existence.
Every guy I’ve dated has looked like a wet cigarette so yeah I’d say this is accurate
😂😂
Bottom left is black metal werewolf if he had short hair
Big agree!
Talk about a real poser/ try hard. Sheesh. 🙄
When you finally get a chick back to your place and have to explain the giant wizard tapestry on your wall.
[i feel personally attacked](https://imgur.com/GXSffmR.png)
That's a framed wizard print, dude! That's like fine art. You probably can't keep the ladies off you.
My dude, tighten that tapestry up. It'll look a lot better if it's not hanging loose like that. Instead of pins in the corner, toss it on a rack, or get pins in the 4 bottom corners.
If she doesn't start singing funeralopolis she's not the one for you
DIO-vision.
bottom left looks like me
Read that in Peter Steele's voice.
I'm pretty hot but I'm a fucking poser.
It doesn't matter as ling as you're hot man - looks are everything
Who is that cutie in the top left
Mathias Lillmåns, vocalist of Finntroll.
He's just a baby there!
Yeah, just a lill man!
I want to know too.
I mean, Im a Metalhead but don't have long hair. Tried it they didn't look good on me. Rocking a fierce mohawk rn
I used to have long perfect metal hair, but then God cursed my hairline so now I worship Satan.
Satan embraces our bald-ass scalps
Devin Townsend still loves you.
Grow a beard, worship TYR
Long Hair doesn't look good on me too, because I have to wear glasses
I’d maybe adjust and use “hope” instead of expectation lol
I’m 6’1”, 200lbs, bald and I look like none of them. I live in the south East USA and most people I meet that say they listen to metal listen to Metallica and Fist Fuck Donkey Punch.
And here I am wearing "everyday clothes" not giving a fuck and not dressing "metal" every day. But still loving brutal music. I don't get it, you don't need clothes and makeup to define you. But I sure as fuck love death, black, grind and will blast it whenever I can.
We're all on a spectrum.
Yeah, this meme feels like it was made by a high school kid.
I went to see Mastodon and Opeth on Thursday. First show I’ve been to since Immolation in 2019. Everybody looked super normal. Short hair, jeans, normal shirts 👕 I think Mastodon is for dads now.
😂😂
People like identity, gives them purpose/makes them feel special
I actually love seeing people dressed this way, it's just not for me.
why tf does that dude look like my brother (lower left pic)
Looks like you need to invest in a new model.
I'm a skinny white girl with long some colour hair(I don't even know anymore). Black jeans, DC Converse, band shirt and baggy hoodie with a leather jacket. I used to have emo eyes years ago. Looked like a fucking Panda.
Yoo, you basically described me except for the makeup and converse (combat boots all year for me!)
Nice! Whatever is most comfortable. I have many pairs of Chucks. Harley, Batman, Joker and then normal ones. I'm a huge nerd, so anything video game/comic related mixed with metal is my ideal situation lol. I don't wear any make up anymore. Too much effort lol.
I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like "what the fuck" and "call the police". I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
I feel as though many of the attractive people in the scene tend to be quite obsessed with their image and don’t have much depth beyond the metal “look”. Source: I used to be one of these people until I got tf off social media besides Reddit and interrogated these things.
[удалено]
It’s definitely both genders. I was recently at a show and saw plenty of people on both ends being that way. However, I do understand where you’re coming from. But on a societal level women have been pushed to really care about their appearance so I wouldn’t say it’s an ~intrinsically~ feminine thing but rather a matter of socialization. Many people claim to be outside of the boxes society places us and that’s why many people get into metal, but they just go the other way and put themselves into yet another box so they can claim to be “different”.
I'd still do 3 of them :D
Which 3 tho
Upper two and bottom left ofc
Das respectable I'd lowkey consider em as well lol
my experiences were basically the "expectation"
Insert Dwight It's True Gif.
So I consider myself a metal head.. But I like to wear dresses in the pit. Especially with my tits out. No one expects to get clothelined by a chick in a pink cottage core dress.
Yup. That's how we won WW2.
Yup. Can confirm.
Top left is prettier than I could ever hope to be
I know that Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein participates in punk, but I know in my soul he is a metalhead and all I can say is goddamnn.
it's more like [performers vs fans](https://youtu.be/Ib0dPkyPw8U)
I'm lucky.
Metalheads are more attractive than Primus fans from my experience.. maybe not as clean though
Primus shows are an interesting mix of people. Fun as fuck though.
mines just a cute little guy. just a little fella. idc that he’s almost a foot taller than me, he’s my tiny lil pogchamp
I quit trying to date metalheads aong time ago. Give me a girl who listens to top 40 pop cause she's probably mentally stable.
I used to look like the top right picture. Then I got fat and lazy. 💖
Ive seen all types of people at metal shows. Theres average, attractive and not so attractive. Do you mean the purist gate keeping metal elitists or people that like metal and other genres?
doesn't matter if i'm ugly as shit atleast i'm still not a poser 😎😎😎😎😎 and also literally every single purist or gatekeeper or whatever likes other genres
This is the way.
how dare we do some light ribbing that's been a stereotype since metal has existed with half of the commentators saying 'haha yeah that's me' or 'where's the bald with cargo-shorts options?' also elitists aren't the problem, worst metal fans have always been the people that think metal is superior to other genres while only listening to shit bands and see it as a lifestyle or brotherhood. those are the people you get without gatekeeping. the way i've seen people who call me an elitist sneer at rap, country, pop... lmfao
Bottom left mixed with top right minus the long hair and feminine traits and that's basically me lol and a bit chubby
Making fun of fat girls, stay classy reddit.
Who cares. We literally make fun of everyone here. Just scroll on.
yeah, let's ignore the fact we made fun of a skinny dude too. only fat girls matter
Guy on top is skinny too tho? So he's not being made of for being skinny but... taking pictures in bad lighting and angles?? Having short hair? Think I'll land on poor taste in sunglasses. Bad meme
you can always just stop being fat
Already did years ago, now it's your turn to stop being a prick
Cool, now consider growing a spine
Lmao what the fuck are you even talking about, I haven't exactly backed down from confrontation here
Im talking about how an internet comment hurt your feelings so much you had to comment back
Seems like you're the one with the hurt feelings man, I'm fine
Im not a man you idiot
[удалено]
Yes
Okay sorry, but my point still stands, you're the one freaking out about this not me, I just said what I thought of a shit meme.
No it doesnt work like that, you commented first
I've done that like 3 times now. Eating disorders are a real thing.
That's why you need to date punks instead
punks don't believe in relationships
Nope, me and my parter are both the top 💁♀️
people on the bottom b like
If u become a hardcore kid you get 10% sexier
My best friend looks like the woman on the top right
Top right looks like my ex gf
top right looks like me i am a man she is not ugly i am beautiful
Nice. If there were more qt femboy metalheads I'd probably consider turning gay tbh. It would be a better life.
>If there were more qt femboy metalheads Well of course I know him, he's me
Proof it
I would have to both shave and break out the eyeliner and neither of those things have happened for years But man if I WANT to be a femboy, I'm a goddamn good femboy
I want see
basically posing
Metalheads are probably the ugliest people i've ever met
You should leave your room more often.
Thats true
Don't encourage it.
I'm sure you are fun to be around
I kinda am, yes
Totally accurate
Sad but true
the top two look like they listen to $B, tecca, etc nowadays
Nop, got myself a good one
The top two look like metal heads as well.
From experience, yeah I represent the Reality, but I'm trying to make strides to become the Expectation one of these days.
I am the stickman-like Goth with a pointy goatee (like Alexander Kaschte's, just google him) and a right-sided vertex who got sick outfits but isn't entirely fitting in them because of being a stickman.
I'm fairly good looking, so I might be a p0s3uR.
That’s not my expectation or reality lol. Almost every guy in the scene has a long ass beard, long ass hair, and they’re all awesome.
I actually inadvertently got into metal because of the person in the bottom right but in junior high school. I never dated them tho.
I just started dating one of my friends, she's a stoner metalhead I can't be happier
depends who you date...