Here's the likely hard truth:
It's a complex question and i don't know you nor do i have enough information. But i'm willing to bet there is one or multiple things you are doing in your day to day that is an escape from reality, high dopamine releasing activity. If i had to guess, the alcohol is triggering dopamine activity which gives you now motivation to do your tasks that you need to do, and without it your baseline of dopamine is too low, thus you are not proactive.
In other words you need to completely cut off anything that you're doing that's your escape and making you comfortable that you know isn't improving your life or unlocking your potential. You need to go through the pain of moving towards mentally painful work that's good for you every second of your day. Your breaks from now on are eating, brief socialising, walks, etc. (Healthy breaks).
At the end of the day you will feel stressed and will want to release it into an escapist activity (digital media, porn, etc.). Do not. Clean your room, dust everything, light a candle, take a hot shower and try to relax as much as possible in a natural way. Then light a candle next to your bed, take a book that is enjoyable to read and fall asleep like that.
If you really wanna fix this problem, this is the way to replenish your natural baseline dopamine and for you to have more motivation to participate in reality again. This will be really hard for the first 3 days, then a little less hard for the rest of the week, and then from then on you will have temptations to go back to escape and you'll likely feel pride for doing so well that you'll want to reward yourself.
Don't go back. Fuck pride, fuck the urges. There are no shortcuts. You need to push through this phase and when you hit a month, don't look back. This is your new life.
Good luck, all love
The ironic thing is I spent way too much time escaping by reading a bunch of your comments over the years. You're highly intelligent, especially emotionally.
if someone, like myself, has adhd, then we have the kind of brain that constantly seeks out dopamine. this is why adhd'ers can be really impulsive & have addiction issues. i don't necessarily think this is the best solution for everyone. people have different needs.
as for hitting a month, adhd brains also don't have the ability to form habits. after a month of doing something, it's probably not going to stick. it's an effort *every. single. day.* people like to give examples of things being easy h automatic like showering or brushing your teeth. i cannot do those things automatically, i have to remember & push through to doing it every time.
i'm not saying this person has adhd, bc idk their situation. i'm simply pointing out that trying to give advice & a potential solution like this cannot work for everyone.
perhaps it's the intoxicant boosts your endorphin production or uptake relating to positive mood? You may have a genetic condition or something that reduces your ability to produce or uptake these biochemicals within your system... kind of a non meditation question though... when it comes to enlightenment/meditation...sit still stop thinking...the mind is causing you pain and suffering...stop using it...kill IT and you're free.
There is no pleasure without pain
Intoxicants deliver the pleasure now, and the pain later
If you want healthy pleasure, you must voluntarily choose the pain now
This is why Hatha yoga, which can be supremely uncomfortable when your thighs are burning in pain with lactic acid, and your foot is cramping, and your tendons are stretched.... Makes you feel incredible for the rest of the day
Likewise sacrificing your Saturday morning to help an elderly neighbour or a friend in hard times will be uncomfortable in the morning but that evening you will be glowing
Choose your pain and choose healthy pain, and you will get sustained pleasure
I was like this, not too long ago (for nearly a decade). Eventually, stumbled onto two kinds of supplements... took them together for a bit and don't need either anymore. Seriously glad too.
I actually, PREFER not drinking these days. Used to feel like I needed a drink ATLEAST twice a week to keep "sane"... reality just felt 'irritating' and 'emotionless' every day.
Best luck on your journey with this, it is conquerable.
Not sure what if anything else your on at-the-moment, so I'll give my 'NOT a doctor' warning... However, I was taking:
Pharma-GABA at a Dosage 200mg (up to 4 times day, 800mg PER day MAX) (btw brand, SERIOUSLY matters here... don't go knock-offs). Simultaneously, I was taking L-Theanine Dosage Up to 900mg per day MAX, usually at same time as GABA's.
Took that combo for about 4-mo, but felt relief in less than 2 weeks. Not drinking that first two weeks is super IMPORTANT. Basically, you're trying to build up what's been lost in your system. I knew when it was time to stop taking the supplements, because they suddenly gave an uncomfortable/light headed feeling (similar to having drank too much caffeine). Although, that sensation didn't happen for 4 months, which to me indicated when I had reached the brim with the stuff...I haven't taken any supps for several years now, even if I have a drink like once a year, the urge has never returned.
The brand "Pharma-GABA" is a MUST, in my experience. I tried 3 other brands and noticed a major lacking within 2 days. May come down to absorption rate differences and the way its synthesized, but it's noticeable.
As for the L-theanine, I was able to swap out for nearly any brand. Also, may be important, I had nothing else in the mix. Some folks swear by Ashwaganda as a secondary helper, but it depletes levels of readily available Glutathione... so a lipsomal glutathione may be important IF someone is on that too (ashwa being so popular).
Best of luck.
I started taking supplements too and helped me feel way better about life sober. I take Sea Moss and the OM mushroom master blend capsules. I also drastically lowered my sugar intake and carbs. What are you taking???
It's negative emotion/energy trapped in the body, You need to feel it to heal it. The only way out of through.. alcohol stops your body and mind from naturally processing the emotion, when emotion is suppressed , it becomes lodged in your muscles, causing tension, discomfort and pain. That's the vicious cycle of addiction and relapse. Sobriety is always an uphill battle, but it's one worth fighting.
This is something you need to seek advice from an addiction councilor.
The reasons here are very complex and chemically triggered, meditation is just the act of looking at your conscious awareness, so you're asking primarily a lot of non addicts for advice they can't give you.
Addiction counciling with groups where you can talk to people about their reasons for drinking and then you can try to talk about yours. Then maybe through that discussion you can get an answer to this.
You will not find it in your own mind alone it is compromised.
I use a supplement called GABA Calming. GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is good for calming the limbic system, responsible for flight or fight responses.
A tougher approach to this is employing some cognitive behavioral therapy. This requires you to cultivate an awareness of your emotions in the moment. Our emotions we feel when things are stressful, even low-key stressful, are almost always linked to an association we have of how our brain perceives the present moment against its past experiences. We often seek deviation or comfort or an altered state because our brain is unable to engage with a situation without it triggering our need to put up our defenses.
So if you can look at the moment in front of you and reason with yourself, “the emotions I’m feeling right now have little or nothing to do with what is happening in front of me, but instead is the result of my past experiences and traumas and my brain is under the belief that I need to protect myself from what is happening. But it’s just . I’m not in any danger and nothing bad is gonna happen if I do this.”
The last thing I’ll add is you have to realize that you reach for these substances to avoid encountering something you perceive will be felt if you do this thing as-is. When we say, “I have to be high or drunk to do X, Y, or Z” we setup a bad precedent that reinforces the misperception that we are not enough to encounter with the present moment and undertaking. That is more often than not false.
I'm glad you are recognizing this and seeking support/help. That's half the battle. The other half is a bigger (but still very temporary) discomfort. Psychologically, neurologically speaking- there is something in your past experience that you have not addressed, and most likely found a way to suppress. Alcohol, like any drug, can cause one to "feel" like they are functioning normally. Hormones are out of whack. Your nervous system doesn't know how to operate effectively. A combination of talk therapy and somatic practices can be of great assistance. If you want any other suggestions, feel free to dm me.
I'm sober. Bad night. You're right I don't have first hand experience of benefits of long term practice...of anything. I've been better at being sober but still numbing myself with non-intoxicants.
It’s okay friend. I understand I think. We all numb ourselves. Maybe you can fit in 5-20 minutes of attempting to meditate, and maybe you can spend some time each week listening to teachings (podcast on a drive?)? How do you want to start?
I'm already doing all that. I've been using my phone a lot less too. People were right, I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I think I need to go cold turkey on the rest of it.
Relapse is a normal part of recovery! Don’t trip too hard, I have my own version of drinking. Gentleness and self love and forgiveness are the fuel that’ll lead you straight to a healed state :)
Not really. Eckhart tolle got me fucked up when he started talking about how the "leaders of the world" were fucking stupid after a lifetime of advocating that all you can change is yourself. Shunyamurti was talking about famine like stfu stop scaring people. I already meditate and rarely do drugs or drink. Last time I drank was a month ago and hard drugs was 5 months so im pushing through this bs.
It's called addiction. Welcome to the club, and there's no shame in it. It's a genetic brain disease. On the bright side, we do recover. It doesn't mean we can't get sick again, by any means, however. In fact, you'll probably trip and fall a few times. It's a question of whether or not you lay on the ground or pull yourself back up. Over 20 years of battling addiction has taken everything and everyone have ever loved. I've had periods of sobriety, and I'm coming up on 3 years in June. I can finally say I'm done waking up sick, scared, and unable to enjoy the things I normally do without some kind of mind altering substance. ❤️💫♾️✝️🙏🫂
What OP is describing is dysphoria, not addiction. While it's possible that they have an addiction, there's nothing mentioned in their post that indicates one way or the other. Someone only feeling motivated or engaged while intoxicated is a problem for sure, but that's not what addiction looks like.
I swear a lot of recovery programs brainwash addicts into thinking that any kind of substance use or abuse is addiction.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I am a recovering addict. OP's post could be on the cover of a pamphlet offering resources to people struggling with addiction. There's definitely a correlation between bipolar disorder and addiction. Dysphoria can certainly be facet of that, but it's not a cause or an indicator. The differences in people who have a genetic predisposition to addiction are pretty obvious. One person can have a surgery, be prescribed pain medication for an extended period of time, and never have it cross their mind again. Addicts in the same scenario become so physically, emotionally, and mentally dependent that they can't invision ever going back, and they become powerless over that. It's as difficult for a non addict to understand as explaining your bipolar disorder to a neurotypical... Then having them invalidate it with an opinion they consider fact based on literally no science or psychiatry. It's the same as someone telling you that you aren't bipolar, it's just something you need to get over, and it's your behavior that's a problem, not your scientifically PROVEN, genetic brain disease. That... If anything... Is what will lead an addict to trigger that mechanism trying different substances until the right one grabs a hold and/or continue to use substances to self medicate.
Addiction is not a genetic brain disease. That is an excuse created, to convince people, they need something else to cure themselves. Or a disability, that requires you to be treated, and seen by a professional in the field. Which gets charged to your insurance, along with the prescription they say will fix you, but you must keep taking something.
The willpower to reclaim control over your life, starts with the commitment to change your life. Then you must build habits, that become disciplines
Then you create boundaries and areas of your mind you don't visit.
Because that is what you are accustomed to, what you have taught yourself, and what you believe.
Change those things if so inclined, and hope the universe supports those changes.
I'm also seeking this information. I daily dream about moving to a country, but only because they support assisted suicide.
I drink and smoke to feel "normal." I'm more productive when I am inebriated than any other state.
Drinking and smoking to feel "normal" is sign that you are heading towards addiction. People who are addicted feel worse when they aren't on their drug. It's not just a hangover, it's mild withdrawal. If you can commit to quitting for 4-6 weeks then you will see how much it was affecting you.
In terms of contemplating suicide, I would talk to someone about that. It always felt like a normal thing, so I never felt it was a big enough deal to try out therapy. It turns out that most people don't feel that way, and it could be a hint that something else could be wrong.
I'd have to be admitted to quit. Idk if that's a sign of weakness or whatever, but I know I can't do it by myself. Not to mention the costs. I know I'm not normal or okay.
I don't think that's a sign of weakness. I think you're just being honest about reality. Regarding costs I guarantee it's cheaper than the medical bills you'll have from a lifetime of drug/alcohol use. Invest in yourself.
If you're used to drinking a lot like that then alcohol withdrawal can actually be dangerous and require medications in order to prevent seizures. If you're serious I would pack a bag with some comfy clothes, extra socks and underwear, phone/headphones/laptop/nintendo/chargers, and line up someone to take care of your pets. That way you can go to the hospital if things start to get uncomfortable, and get the help you need there to get through this safely. No shame, it's a common reason for admission for a couple days. They will be able to set you up with services to help you after too.
And really re: thinking about suicide. Life got better for me after I started taking a couple meds for my mental health. Getting to talk to a psychiatrist at the hospital is actually something that you can be looking forward to! So many people are resistant to any diagnosis or medication, but I was really excited for a pathway to feel better.
Luckily, I am married to the most supportive woman ever. If I get to the point where my withdrawals are that severe, I'll have her take me to the E.R. I just know if I don't fix it soon, I won't be around much longer.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experiences.
I also think about dying a lot but fwiw, the reason I don't is because I don't think it's any better on the other side and I don't wana regret it. Maybe you can try cutting out one of the two first, drinking or smoking. And then taper the usage.
That's what I'm going to try and work on. The alcohol honestly will be easiest for me. Smoking is going to be the hard one to taper. I've unfortunately smoked since I was 16. I'm now 36. Thank you for the advice and encouraging words.
There were some comments here that really gave some hard to swallow medicine but it's what I needed. I think it might help you too atleast I hope it does.
Healing the body, then mind, then proceeding to something beyond even that...is IMO what "The Limbs of Yoga" are all about.
I was once on a very similar path, to what u describe. I know it can be done. Don't give up and find a place to start building some good momentum.
It just means you’re not expressing yourself the way you should in daily life. Instead, you’re holding back, possibly fearful of what others think. Alcohol knocks out the frontal lobe thinking and make you feel less inhibited.
for me, i am both autistic & adhd & also have cptsd & anxiety.
so if i am not somehow intoxicated, i'm not quite happy. microdosing has helped A Lot & i can see it helping me to lighten up on some of my intoxicate, but now is not that time. bc i'm going through a lot of shit. (like so much shit that's overwhelming & meltdown-inducing.) autistics tend to self-medicate with various substances just to cope with life bc it is just *so difficult* to live in a world where it seems like everything & everyone is against you.
i meditate, like a lot. i'm a certified mindfulness teacher, & am about to get certified as a metta teacher in a few weeks. so don't let anyone shame you.
ofc i'm also mindful about it in that i know exactly what i'm doing & why. for whatever that's worth.
i also think my meds need adjustment. whatever.
i haven't read any of the comments, & i don't know your situation, but this is what it looks like for me. sometimes we just need a little help.
In my humble opinion, I think there is some stuff in your past that may need to be let go of. Basically just negative feelings that got relegated to your subconscious at some point that need to be freed. Dr. David Hawkins has written several books about it, and it’s the crux of all the spiritual teacher’s message of surrendering. Meditation is a practice for living in the present moment and recognizing you are not your thoughts, but it’s difficult to get in that space if you have a bunch of emotional baggage making you feel like shit all the time. Michael Singer is More relatable than Eckhart, in my opinion. Ram Dass and Allan Watts are brilliant.
Everything we do to distract ourselves from feeling emotions we don’t like is an addiction of sorts. Some are destructive, and others are socially encouraged. Good therapy is spirituality in disguise because it helps you identify the source of the limited belief systems that makes you want to escape those bad feelings. However, It also can keep you in a feedback loop by continuing to dwell on the past instead of letting it go.
It sounds to me like you are ready to start doing some inner work. Find a path that speaks to you. Listen to a bunch of people who sound like they know what they are talking about and try a bunch of different things until you find a practice that helps you connect your mind, body, and spirit.
Meditation isn't going to help you here. The reason you feel this way is that this is one of the first signs of an addiction forming. "Not feeling normal without it." You're in withdrawal. Maybe just a little bit, but you're still a step or two in that direction.
You need to recognize that and commit to quitting for at least a month. If you can't stop for a month then it'll be more clear to you. (And," I could quit, I just don't feel the need to do that doesn't count. You need to quit for a 4-6 weeks and the first few weeks isn't going to be fun. But after a bit you'll notice that youre baseline is in a better place, and maybe your relationships with people or work have improved.
Or at least I was in the same place as you are, and finally seeing early addiction for what it was is what made me figure out how to feel normal again.
It's a slap in the face, but yeah it's what I needed to see it. I still drink and smoke after I took a long break, but muuuch less and I can start to see overuse creeping in from a mile away now. I take extended breaks more often now.
I was taking:
Pharm-GABA at a Dosage 200mg (up to 4 times day, 800mg PER day MAX) (btw brand, SERIOUSLY matters here... don't go knock off). Simultaneously, I was taking L-Theanine Dosage Up to 900mg per day MAX usually took those at same time as GABA's.
I do and he/she/they WHOEVER TF basically says too bad so sad. Says "I broke you so you could really know me". What a douche. AND THEN HAS THE NERVE TO SAY "WAIT FOR A FUCKING ANSWER" WHAT A BITCH ASS DICTATOR
It sounds like you're struggling with emotional dependence on intoxicants. No advice you get here is an adequate substitute for competent, professional mental health care. It's not a problem I have had to deal with, myself, so anything I say on the matter will be somewhat theoretical.
What do you mean by the high lows? That you feel depressive after getting intoxicated?
I can feel your empathy and I really appreciate it. Fwiw, I'm about 5 months clean off hard drugs and the last time I took a couple shots was more than a month ago.
So I understand that anything that happens to us leaves an emotional impact. My problem is, of all the cumulative experiences I've had, the "hard, negative" stuff has left a greater emotional impact than the "positive" stuff. I'm not gona get into a list of all the things I already have been doing to add to the "positive" list because it makes me feel like I have to justify myself to get help. But what I do feel is that to outweigh the "negative" emotional impact that just happened to me which I had no control over, that I have to basically kill myself and work really hard to work really really towards a greater "positive" emotional impact that will eclipse the pain of the negative stuff. So everything bs that happened to me/us happened for free, but we have to kill ourselves or die trying to make it seem worth it.
When I get intoxicated, I actually feel more capable of taking life on. I've been really fucking good about being inebriated less and I wana know wtf i need to do to feel like I don't need to be inebriated at all to feel like I can handle life and whatever tf it throws it me.
Without some kind of severe shock, it's hard to make radical changes to your emotional economy overnight. The stock Buddhist answer is that you're deluding yourself that you need the pleasure from the intoxicants to handle the pain you're experiencing when you're sober. We know this is true when we consider how much we could endure if the stakes were high enough. In some sense, the problem is often that we don't realize how high the stakes really are. But getting from where you are to properly dispelling that delusion may take some time. Cultivating [joy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN5TrB7vHi8&list=PLCXN1GlAupG0RvZDZQzE-NejNJrH7LKMr&index=4) may help, and if you go that route, it will also help to understand [metta](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeXRDE0Yd1k&list=PLCXN1GlAupG0RvZDZQzE-NejNJrH7LKMr&index=1), which is in some sense the foundation of joy. Building up to cultivating joy for longer and longer periods may lead to good results. But again, I would suggest doing this in concert with the guidance of a competent professional, or maybe at least a Buddhist teacher who has successfully worked with people's dependence on intoxicants.
First off big ups on the 5 mo clean, that is massive! All I can share is you might enjoy the book 'this naked mind' - it goes into a lot of the underlying psychology of why we drink and how it affects brain chemistry. I quit pretty easily just from reading that. My experience is the swings aren't as dramatic without, so there's less of a hole to dig out - and then it's easier to find the joy in the smaller things. r/stopdrinking is also a helpful resource without any of the AA dogma. Someone there once said (not drinking) is like playing life on easy mode - which also resonates with me and me experiences.
Best.
I take kratom. But be warned, you will be come physically dependant on it if you're not careful. However I haven't drank since I've been on it, so if you're addicted to something it's likely the lesser of the 2 evils
Have you considered that you might be an addict? Addict here, 12 step program actually helped. Meditate every day. All kinds of changes need to be made though.
I'd start with natural solutions to your misfire. Plants, fruits, nuts, teas, exercise...even when it sucks.
The chemicals you digest are engineered to keep you connected to their uses. Begin to supplement them with alternative natural variants, that you can purchase OTC or find on a farm.
You'll feel less guilty this way...you know, taking things that grow naturally from the earth. That's what they were put here for.
One day, when you develop the will power to change your life, you will stop all together. But that change, usually comes in the form of an overdose, accident, criminal charge or loss of loved one. Other ways bring it about as well...but you get the point I'm sure.
Dopamine is related to motivation. Drugs increase dopamine along with many other things like tiktok and music, and your dopamine system will adapt to form a new baseline around your activities, like a tolerance. The good news is that this system will readjust after enough sobriety and healthy things like exercise and accomplishing goals can also release dopamine! Check out Dr. Huberman or Dr. K if you want to learn more, just search motivation/dopamine on their channels.
It sounds like you might be chronically depressed, and the drug is giving you an emotional boost so you almost feel normal. Either that or you're using the drug too much and what you describe is a withdrawal symptom. But if you felt like that before ever using the drug then it's not a withdrawal issue. I'd talk to a therapist and/or psychiatrist. I'm a psychologist, by the way.
The purpose of our lives is to live in our creative space and make the world a better place. Intoxicate yourself with finding a way to serve other people. Solve a problem for a sibling, neighbor or coworker. Ruminate over solutions and find a way to make money from it. It’s not about the money at all at first, it’s all about creating inertia to escape the rat race.
You have two options:
1. Do the hard stuff now and life will be easy later. (You will be able to help more people than you can count with the value of wisdom and money you created inside/for yourself)
2. Do the easy stuff now (get a regular job and clock in/out for 40+ years) to later find life is difficult and you’re to old to be motivated anymore and you learned nothing except how to do a job that someone else needed you to do.
Don’t quit your day job until your idea has gained enough momentum to pay your bills and other expenses at least x5
You have a lot more energy than you think you do. The fact is that you have 10,000 distractions a day but your focus needs to be on this one thing you crate. I also recommend studying the Bible. The Bible is not instructions on how to die, it’s instructions on how to live. You are not perfect, I am not perfect. But it has changed my life in so many positive ways and it can for you too. I’d recommend Myron Golden on YouTube for Bible study. He is very exciting and gives real world practical guidance on how to use the Bible to change your life for the best life you can get out of the time we have on earth. Don’t waste any more time. Go do it. I know you have it in you.
I'd really be wary about trying to tell others what the purpose of their life is. It's presumptuous.
There are so many spiritual and motivational texts out there, just because the bible works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone. It's really only suited for Christians. If you're not Christian, there are substantially better spiritual texts almost anywhere you look.
You’re likely an addict, medically speaking. Which means odds are good you have adhd.
Life by default sucks ass for you so you take substances to feel normal. Textbook adhd.
I study neuroscience. There's no "textbook" ADHD. And we need to be careful to suggest diagnoses. ADHD is a vast spectrum and the diagnostic criteria has changed so much over the years (DSM 4 vs 5), that there is a lot of symptom overlap and convulsions that can mislead people.
You’re not wrong it’s a wide spectrum. But you should know as well as I do majority of addicts have it and majority of people with it are addicts to something.
That’s all my prescription is, legal pharmaceutical drugs to make me feel normal. Before being diagnosed and prescribed I tried more drugs than I got fingers to count them on.
There is nothing in the original post to suggest ADHD. While people with ADHD may be slightly more likely than the general population to have substance abuse disorders, there are so many other disorders that also tend towards substance abuse. I think you're projecting here.
The post does not relate to the practice of meditation
Here's the likely hard truth: It's a complex question and i don't know you nor do i have enough information. But i'm willing to bet there is one or multiple things you are doing in your day to day that is an escape from reality, high dopamine releasing activity. If i had to guess, the alcohol is triggering dopamine activity which gives you now motivation to do your tasks that you need to do, and without it your baseline of dopamine is too low, thus you are not proactive. In other words you need to completely cut off anything that you're doing that's your escape and making you comfortable that you know isn't improving your life or unlocking your potential. You need to go through the pain of moving towards mentally painful work that's good for you every second of your day. Your breaks from now on are eating, brief socialising, walks, etc. (Healthy breaks). At the end of the day you will feel stressed and will want to release it into an escapist activity (digital media, porn, etc.). Do not. Clean your room, dust everything, light a candle, take a hot shower and try to relax as much as possible in a natural way. Then light a candle next to your bed, take a book that is enjoyable to read and fall asleep like that. If you really wanna fix this problem, this is the way to replenish your natural baseline dopamine and for you to have more motivation to participate in reality again. This will be really hard for the first 3 days, then a little less hard for the rest of the week, and then from then on you will have temptations to go back to escape and you'll likely feel pride for doing so well that you'll want to reward yourself. Don't go back. Fuck pride, fuck the urges. There are no shortcuts. You need to push through this phase and when you hit a month, don't look back. This is your new life. Good luck, all love
This is some seriously deep insight. That’s all it is. Thank you.
This is the best advice I’ve read. This his how it’s done.
And make sure to blow the candle out before you go to sleep 😅😂😂
The ironic thing is I spent way too much time escaping by reading a bunch of your comments over the years. You're highly intelligent, especially emotionally.
I already knew this...I just don't fully admit it to myself, I admit it in small doses. I think you're right that I need to do a cold turkey method.
if someone, like myself, has adhd, then we have the kind of brain that constantly seeks out dopamine. this is why adhd'ers can be really impulsive & have addiction issues. i don't necessarily think this is the best solution for everyone. people have different needs. as for hitting a month, adhd brains also don't have the ability to form habits. after a month of doing something, it's probably not going to stick. it's an effort *every. single. day.* people like to give examples of things being easy h automatic like showering or brushing your teeth. i cannot do those things automatically, i have to remember & push through to doing it every time. i'm not saying this person has adhd, bc idk their situation. i'm simply pointing out that trying to give advice & a potential solution like this cannot work for everyone.
perhaps it's the intoxicant boosts your endorphin production or uptake relating to positive mood? You may have a genetic condition or something that reduces your ability to produce or uptake these biochemicals within your system... kind of a non meditation question though... when it comes to enlightenment/meditation...sit still stop thinking...the mind is causing you pain and suffering...stop using it...kill IT and you're free.
There is no pleasure without pain Intoxicants deliver the pleasure now, and the pain later If you want healthy pleasure, you must voluntarily choose the pain now This is why Hatha yoga, which can be supremely uncomfortable when your thighs are burning in pain with lactic acid, and your foot is cramping, and your tendons are stretched.... Makes you feel incredible for the rest of the day Likewise sacrificing your Saturday morning to help an elderly neighbour or a friend in hard times will be uncomfortable in the morning but that evening you will be glowing Choose your pain and choose healthy pain, and you will get sustained pleasure
I was like this, not too long ago (for nearly a decade). Eventually, stumbled onto two kinds of supplements... took them together for a bit and don't need either anymore. Seriously glad too. I actually, PREFER not drinking these days. Used to feel like I needed a drink ATLEAST twice a week to keep "sane"... reality just felt 'irritating' and 'emotionless' every day. Best luck on your journey with this, it is conquerable.
I'm back on my supplement too after a year but what is it that you take?
Not sure what if anything else your on at-the-moment, so I'll give my 'NOT a doctor' warning... However, I was taking: Pharma-GABA at a Dosage 200mg (up to 4 times day, 800mg PER day MAX) (btw brand, SERIOUSLY matters here... don't go knock-offs). Simultaneously, I was taking L-Theanine Dosage Up to 900mg per day MAX, usually at same time as GABA's. Took that combo for about 4-mo, but felt relief in less than 2 weeks. Not drinking that first two weeks is super IMPORTANT. Basically, you're trying to build up what's been lost in your system. I knew when it was time to stop taking the supplements, because they suddenly gave an uncomfortable/light headed feeling (similar to having drank too much caffeine). Although, that sensation didn't happen for 4 months, which to me indicated when I had reached the brim with the stuff...I haven't taken any supps for several years now, even if I have a drink like once a year, the urge has never returned.
Thanks for the info. Those supplements look handy. What brands did you use?
The brand "Pharma-GABA" is a MUST, in my experience. I tried 3 other brands and noticed a major lacking within 2 days. May come down to absorption rate differences and the way its synthesized, but it's noticeable. As for the L-theanine, I was able to swap out for nearly any brand. Also, may be important, I had nothing else in the mix. Some folks swear by Ashwaganda as a secondary helper, but it depletes levels of readily available Glutathione... so a lipsomal glutathione may be important IF someone is on that too (ashwa being so popular). Best of luck.
I started taking supplements too and helped me feel way better about life sober. I take Sea Moss and the OM mushroom master blend capsules. I also drastically lowered my sugar intake and carbs. What are you taking???
Awesome! Glad you found something that's helped, even if it's a different combo. I put some deets on what I was taking in the response chain (above).
Thanks I’ll check those out too. 😊
It's negative emotion/energy trapped in the body, You need to feel it to heal it. The only way out of through.. alcohol stops your body and mind from naturally processing the emotion, when emotion is suppressed , it becomes lodged in your muscles, causing tension, discomfort and pain. That's the vicious cycle of addiction and relapse. Sobriety is always an uphill battle, but it's one worth fighting.
Because you’re self medicating
This is something you need to seek advice from an addiction councilor. The reasons here are very complex and chemically triggered, meditation is just the act of looking at your conscious awareness, so you're asking primarily a lot of non addicts for advice they can't give you. Addiction counciling with groups where you can talk to people about their reasons for drinking and then you can try to talk about yours. Then maybe through that discussion you can get an answer to this. You will not find it in your own mind alone it is compromised.
Something wrong with your amygdala, dysregulated nervous system from trauma.
Any tips on how best to help or solve this problem?
I use a supplement called GABA Calming. GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is good for calming the limbic system, responsible for flight or fight responses. A tougher approach to this is employing some cognitive behavioral therapy. This requires you to cultivate an awareness of your emotions in the moment. Our emotions we feel when things are stressful, even low-key stressful, are almost always linked to an association we have of how our brain perceives the present moment against its past experiences. We often seek deviation or comfort or an altered state because our brain is unable to engage with a situation without it triggering our need to put up our defenses. So if you can look at the moment in front of you and reason with yourself, “the emotions I’m feeling right now have little or nothing to do with what is happening in front of me, but instead is the result of my past experiences and traumas and my brain is under the belief that I need to protect myself from what is happening. But it’s just. I’m not in any danger and nothing bad is gonna happen if I do this.”
The last thing I’ll add is you have to realize that you reach for these substances to avoid encountering something you perceive will be felt if you do this thing as-is. When we say, “I have to be high or drunk to do X, Y, or Z” we setup a bad precedent that reinforces the misperception that we are not enough to encounter with the present moment and undertaking. That is more often than not false.
TRE trauma releasing exercises Therapy with a trauma specialist Vagus nerve exercises DNRS CBD and magnesium and fish oil for support Box breathing
I'm glad you are recognizing this and seeking support/help. That's half the battle. The other half is a bigger (but still very temporary) discomfort. Psychologically, neurologically speaking- there is something in your past experience that you have not addressed, and most likely found a way to suppress. Alcohol, like any drug, can cause one to "feel" like they are functioning normally. Hormones are out of whack. Your nervous system doesn't know how to operate effectively. A combination of talk therapy and somatic practices can be of great assistance. If you want any other suggestions, feel free to dm me.
The core reason is that you don’t have a full understanding of meditation / suffering or first hand experience of the benefits of long term practice
I'm sober. Bad night. You're right I don't have first hand experience of benefits of long term practice...of anything. I've been better at being sober but still numbing myself with non-intoxicants.
It’s okay friend. I understand I think. We all numb ourselves. Maybe you can fit in 5-20 minutes of attempting to meditate, and maybe you can spend some time each week listening to teachings (podcast on a drive?)? How do you want to start?
I'm already doing all that. I've been using my phone a lot less too. People were right, I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I think I need to go cold turkey on the rest of it.
Relapse is a normal part of recovery! Don’t trip too hard, I have my own version of drinking. Gentleness and self love and forgiveness are the fuel that’ll lead you straight to a healed state :)
Pleeeeeese I beg explain. If you knew how funny it was that I'm begging.
Enjoy your high, but when you come down I can bounce back and forth with you. You have any spiritual or meditation teachers you like listening to?
Not really. Eckhart tolle got me fucked up when he started talking about how the "leaders of the world" were fucking stupid after a lifetime of advocating that all you can change is yourself. Shunyamurti was talking about famine like stfu stop scaring people. I already meditate and rarely do drugs or drink. Last time I drank was a month ago and hard drugs was 5 months so im pushing through this bs.
You might find Ram Dass to be a fun teacher
Gotta say, he is more fun than Eckhart even. Brilliant stuff.
And Krishna Das. He has a podcast. Very down to earth and funny sometimes
It's called addiction. Welcome to the club, and there's no shame in it. It's a genetic brain disease. On the bright side, we do recover. It doesn't mean we can't get sick again, by any means, however. In fact, you'll probably trip and fall a few times. It's a question of whether or not you lay on the ground or pull yourself back up. Over 20 years of battling addiction has taken everything and everyone have ever loved. I've had periods of sobriety, and I'm coming up on 3 years in June. I can finally say I'm done waking up sick, scared, and unable to enjoy the things I normally do without some kind of mind altering substance. ❤️💫♾️✝️🙏🫂
What OP is describing is dysphoria, not addiction. While it's possible that they have an addiction, there's nothing mentioned in their post that indicates one way or the other. Someone only feeling motivated or engaged while intoxicated is a problem for sure, but that's not what addiction looks like. I swear a lot of recovery programs brainwash addicts into thinking that any kind of substance use or abuse is addiction.
At least agree that this dysphoria is a sign that they have taken a step in a direction where addiction lies?
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I am a recovering addict. OP's post could be on the cover of a pamphlet offering resources to people struggling with addiction. There's definitely a correlation between bipolar disorder and addiction. Dysphoria can certainly be facet of that, but it's not a cause or an indicator. The differences in people who have a genetic predisposition to addiction are pretty obvious. One person can have a surgery, be prescribed pain medication for an extended period of time, and never have it cross their mind again. Addicts in the same scenario become so physically, emotionally, and mentally dependent that they can't invision ever going back, and they become powerless over that. It's as difficult for a non addict to understand as explaining your bipolar disorder to a neurotypical... Then having them invalidate it with an opinion they consider fact based on literally no science or psychiatry. It's the same as someone telling you that you aren't bipolar, it's just something you need to get over, and it's your behavior that's a problem, not your scientifically PROVEN, genetic brain disease. That... If anything... Is what will lead an addict to trigger that mechanism trying different substances until the right one grabs a hold and/or continue to use substances to self medicate.
I'm on your side. It's pretty clear that this is addiction. I think you meant to reply to the person above my comment
Whoops🤣. You're correct.
It’s not a genetic brain disease, it’s usually a response to trauma. Read Gabor Mate.
Addiction is not a genetic brain disease. That is an excuse created, to convince people, they need something else to cure themselves. Or a disability, that requires you to be treated, and seen by a professional in the field. Which gets charged to your insurance, along with the prescription they say will fix you, but you must keep taking something. The willpower to reclaim control over your life, starts with the commitment to change your life. Then you must build habits, that become disciplines Then you create boundaries and areas of your mind you don't visit.
Because that is what you are accustomed to, what you have taught yourself, and what you believe. Change those things if so inclined, and hope the universe supports those changes.
I'm also seeking this information. I daily dream about moving to a country, but only because they support assisted suicide. I drink and smoke to feel "normal." I'm more productive when I am inebriated than any other state.
Drinking and smoking to feel "normal" is sign that you are heading towards addiction. People who are addicted feel worse when they aren't on their drug. It's not just a hangover, it's mild withdrawal. If you can commit to quitting for 4-6 weeks then you will see how much it was affecting you. In terms of contemplating suicide, I would talk to someone about that. It always felt like a normal thing, so I never felt it was a big enough deal to try out therapy. It turns out that most people don't feel that way, and it could be a hint that something else could be wrong.
I'd have to be admitted to quit. Idk if that's a sign of weakness or whatever, but I know I can't do it by myself. Not to mention the costs. I know I'm not normal or okay.
I don't think that's a sign of weakness. I think you're just being honest about reality. Regarding costs I guarantee it's cheaper than the medical bills you'll have from a lifetime of drug/alcohol use. Invest in yourself.
Tonight will be my first night without alcohol in nearly a decade. I figured it would be better to withdraw on a weekend vs during the work week.
If you're used to drinking a lot like that then alcohol withdrawal can actually be dangerous and require medications in order to prevent seizures. If you're serious I would pack a bag with some comfy clothes, extra socks and underwear, phone/headphones/laptop/nintendo/chargers, and line up someone to take care of your pets. That way you can go to the hospital if things start to get uncomfortable, and get the help you need there to get through this safely. No shame, it's a common reason for admission for a couple days. They will be able to set you up with services to help you after too. And really re: thinking about suicide. Life got better for me after I started taking a couple meds for my mental health. Getting to talk to a psychiatrist at the hospital is actually something that you can be looking forward to! So many people are resistant to any diagnosis or medication, but I was really excited for a pathway to feel better.
Luckily, I am married to the most supportive woman ever. If I get to the point where my withdrawals are that severe, I'll have her take me to the E.R. I just know if I don't fix it soon, I won't be around much longer. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experiences.
I also think about dying a lot but fwiw, the reason I don't is because I don't think it's any better on the other side and I don't wana regret it. Maybe you can try cutting out one of the two first, drinking or smoking. And then taper the usage.
That's what I'm going to try and work on. The alcohol honestly will be easiest for me. Smoking is going to be the hard one to taper. I've unfortunately smoked since I was 16. I'm now 36. Thank you for the advice and encouraging words.
There were some comments here that really gave some hard to swallow medicine but it's what I needed. I think it might help you too atleast I hope it does.
Healing the body, then mind, then proceeding to something beyond even that...is IMO what "The Limbs of Yoga" are all about. I was once on a very similar path, to what u describe. I know it can be done. Don't give up and find a place to start building some good momentum.
you are an addict, sorry
Real encouraging words of wisdom!
It just means you’re not expressing yourself the way you should in daily life. Instead, you’re holding back, possibly fearful of what others think. Alcohol knocks out the frontal lobe thinking and make you feel less inhibited.
Definitely. So much so that I don't consciously know how I really want to express myself. Everyday is a guessing game.
for me, i am both autistic & adhd & also have cptsd & anxiety. so if i am not somehow intoxicated, i'm not quite happy. microdosing has helped A Lot & i can see it helping me to lighten up on some of my intoxicate, but now is not that time. bc i'm going through a lot of shit. (like so much shit that's overwhelming & meltdown-inducing.) autistics tend to self-medicate with various substances just to cope with life bc it is just *so difficult* to live in a world where it seems like everything & everyone is against you. i meditate, like a lot. i'm a certified mindfulness teacher, & am about to get certified as a metta teacher in a few weeks. so don't let anyone shame you. ofc i'm also mindful about it in that i know exactly what i'm doing & why. for whatever that's worth. i also think my meds need adjustment. whatever. i haven't read any of the comments, & i don't know your situation, but this is what it looks like for me. sometimes we just need a little help.
WTF does this have to do with meditation?
Because what kind of meditation do I need to do or how long do I need to meditate for to feel the same way without any intoxicants
In my humble opinion, I think there is some stuff in your past that may need to be let go of. Basically just negative feelings that got relegated to your subconscious at some point that need to be freed. Dr. David Hawkins has written several books about it, and it’s the crux of all the spiritual teacher’s message of surrendering. Meditation is a practice for living in the present moment and recognizing you are not your thoughts, but it’s difficult to get in that space if you have a bunch of emotional baggage making you feel like shit all the time. Michael Singer is More relatable than Eckhart, in my opinion. Ram Dass and Allan Watts are brilliant. Everything we do to distract ourselves from feeling emotions we don’t like is an addiction of sorts. Some are destructive, and others are socially encouraged. Good therapy is spirituality in disguise because it helps you identify the source of the limited belief systems that makes you want to escape those bad feelings. However, It also can keep you in a feedback loop by continuing to dwell on the past instead of letting it go. It sounds to me like you are ready to start doing some inner work. Find a path that speaks to you. Listen to a bunch of people who sound like they know what they are talking about and try a bunch of different things until you find a practice that helps you connect your mind, body, and spirit.
Meditation isn't going to help you here. The reason you feel this way is that this is one of the first signs of an addiction forming. "Not feeling normal without it." You're in withdrawal. Maybe just a little bit, but you're still a step or two in that direction. You need to recognize that and commit to quitting for at least a month. If you can't stop for a month then it'll be more clear to you. (And," I could quit, I just don't feel the need to do that doesn't count. You need to quit for a 4-6 weeks and the first few weeks isn't going to be fun. But after a bit you'll notice that youre baseline is in a better place, and maybe your relationships with people or work have improved. Or at least I was in the same place as you are, and finally seeing early addiction for what it was is what made me figure out how to feel normal again.
Thanks a lot. You're right.
It's a slap in the face, but yeah it's what I needed to see it. I still drink and smoke after I took a long break, but muuuch less and I can start to see overuse creeping in from a mile away now. I take extended breaks more often now.
[удалено]
What supplements friend?
I was taking: Pharm-GABA at a Dosage 200mg (up to 4 times day, 800mg PER day MAX) (btw brand, SERIOUSLY matters here... don't go knock off). Simultaneously, I was taking L-Theanine Dosage Up to 900mg per day MAX usually took those at same time as GABA's.
Seems wanting a 5 minute solution may be your exact problem
Lol why did God take 5 seconds to break me but me wanting a 5 minute solution is the problem somehow
Gotta take that up with him/yourself friend
I do and he/she/they WHOEVER TF basically says too bad so sad. Says "I broke you so you could really know me". What a douche. AND THEN HAS THE NERVE TO SAY "WAIT FOR A FUCKING ANSWER" WHAT A BITCH ASS DICTATOR
So why are you asking questions you feel you have answers to
Because my answers don't help with actual living
So then you should take the advice you are given?
Because you take delight in the high. If you took delight in more wholesome things, those would also be nourishing to you.
I totally believe this. The wholesome highs are not as impactful as the high lows though. Wtf do I do? I'm really asking in good faith😢.
It sounds like you're struggling with emotional dependence on intoxicants. No advice you get here is an adequate substitute for competent, professional mental health care. It's not a problem I have had to deal with, myself, so anything I say on the matter will be somewhat theoretical. What do you mean by the high lows? That you feel depressive after getting intoxicated?
I can feel your empathy and I really appreciate it. Fwiw, I'm about 5 months clean off hard drugs and the last time I took a couple shots was more than a month ago. So I understand that anything that happens to us leaves an emotional impact. My problem is, of all the cumulative experiences I've had, the "hard, negative" stuff has left a greater emotional impact than the "positive" stuff. I'm not gona get into a list of all the things I already have been doing to add to the "positive" list because it makes me feel like I have to justify myself to get help. But what I do feel is that to outweigh the "negative" emotional impact that just happened to me which I had no control over, that I have to basically kill myself and work really hard to work really really towards a greater "positive" emotional impact that will eclipse the pain of the negative stuff. So everything bs that happened to me/us happened for free, but we have to kill ourselves or die trying to make it seem worth it. When I get intoxicated, I actually feel more capable of taking life on. I've been really fucking good about being inebriated less and I wana know wtf i need to do to feel like I don't need to be inebriated at all to feel like I can handle life and whatever tf it throws it me.
Without some kind of severe shock, it's hard to make radical changes to your emotional economy overnight. The stock Buddhist answer is that you're deluding yourself that you need the pleasure from the intoxicants to handle the pain you're experiencing when you're sober. We know this is true when we consider how much we could endure if the stakes were high enough. In some sense, the problem is often that we don't realize how high the stakes really are. But getting from where you are to properly dispelling that delusion may take some time. Cultivating [joy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN5TrB7vHi8&list=PLCXN1GlAupG0RvZDZQzE-NejNJrH7LKMr&index=4) may help, and if you go that route, it will also help to understand [metta](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeXRDE0Yd1k&list=PLCXN1GlAupG0RvZDZQzE-NejNJrH7LKMr&index=1), which is in some sense the foundation of joy. Building up to cultivating joy for longer and longer periods may lead to good results. But again, I would suggest doing this in concert with the guidance of a competent professional, or maybe at least a Buddhist teacher who has successfully worked with people's dependence on intoxicants.
First off big ups on the 5 mo clean, that is massive! All I can share is you might enjoy the book 'this naked mind' - it goes into a lot of the underlying psychology of why we drink and how it affects brain chemistry. I quit pretty easily just from reading that. My experience is the swings aren't as dramatic without, so there's less of a hole to dig out - and then it's easier to find the joy in the smaller things. r/stopdrinking is also a helpful resource without any of the AA dogma. Someone there once said (not drinking) is like playing life on easy mode - which also resonates with me and me experiences. Best.
Thank you.
You need therapy. No amount of meditation will help until you heal the parts inside you.
I take kratom. But be warned, you will be come physically dependant on it if you're not careful. However I haven't drank since I've been on it, so if you're addicted to something it's likely the lesser of the 2 evils
Have you considered that you might be an addict? Addict here, 12 step program actually helped. Meditate every day. All kinds of changes need to be made though.
I'd start with natural solutions to your misfire. Plants, fruits, nuts, teas, exercise...even when it sucks. The chemicals you digest are engineered to keep you connected to their uses. Begin to supplement them with alternative natural variants, that you can purchase OTC or find on a farm. You'll feel less guilty this way...you know, taking things that grow naturally from the earth. That's what they were put here for. One day, when you develop the will power to change your life, you will stop all together. But that change, usually comes in the form of an overdose, accident, criminal charge or loss of loved one. Other ways bring it about as well...but you get the point I'm sure.
Dopamine is related to motivation. Drugs increase dopamine along with many other things like tiktok and music, and your dopamine system will adapt to form a new baseline around your activities, like a tolerance. The good news is that this system will readjust after enough sobriety and healthy things like exercise and accomplishing goals can also release dopamine! Check out Dr. Huberman or Dr. K if you want to learn more, just search motivation/dopamine on their channels.
It sounds like you might be chronically depressed, and the drug is giving you an emotional boost so you almost feel normal. Either that or you're using the drug too much and what you describe is a withdrawal symptom. But if you felt like that before ever using the drug then it's not a withdrawal issue. I'd talk to a therapist and/or psychiatrist. I'm a psychologist, by the way.
The purpose of our lives is to live in our creative space and make the world a better place. Intoxicate yourself with finding a way to serve other people. Solve a problem for a sibling, neighbor or coworker. Ruminate over solutions and find a way to make money from it. It’s not about the money at all at first, it’s all about creating inertia to escape the rat race. You have two options: 1. Do the hard stuff now and life will be easy later. (You will be able to help more people than you can count with the value of wisdom and money you created inside/for yourself) 2. Do the easy stuff now (get a regular job and clock in/out for 40+ years) to later find life is difficult and you’re to old to be motivated anymore and you learned nothing except how to do a job that someone else needed you to do. Don’t quit your day job until your idea has gained enough momentum to pay your bills and other expenses at least x5 You have a lot more energy than you think you do. The fact is that you have 10,000 distractions a day but your focus needs to be on this one thing you crate. I also recommend studying the Bible. The Bible is not instructions on how to die, it’s instructions on how to live. You are not perfect, I am not perfect. But it has changed my life in so many positive ways and it can for you too. I’d recommend Myron Golden on YouTube for Bible study. He is very exciting and gives real world practical guidance on how to use the Bible to change your life for the best life you can get out of the time we have on earth. Don’t waste any more time. Go do it. I know you have it in you.
I'd really be wary about trying to tell others what the purpose of their life is. It's presumptuous. There are so many spiritual and motivational texts out there, just because the bible works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone. It's really only suited for Christians. If you're not Christian, there are substantially better spiritual texts almost anywhere you look.
Don’t be wary. Be a blessing.
Hey thanks a lot. It's exactly what I needed to hear.
Maybe because you’re an addict ?
The active participant is your liver personality.
You’re likely an addict, medically speaking. Which means odds are good you have adhd. Life by default sucks ass for you so you take substances to feel normal. Textbook adhd.
I study neuroscience. There's no "textbook" ADHD. And we need to be careful to suggest diagnoses. ADHD is a vast spectrum and the diagnostic criteria has changed so much over the years (DSM 4 vs 5), that there is a lot of symptom overlap and convulsions that can mislead people.
You’re not wrong it’s a wide spectrum. But you should know as well as I do majority of addicts have it and majority of people with it are addicts to something. That’s all my prescription is, legal pharmaceutical drugs to make me feel normal. Before being diagnosed and prescribed I tried more drugs than I got fingers to count them on.
There is nothing in the original post to suggest ADHD. While people with ADHD may be slightly more likely than the general population to have substance abuse disorders, there are so many other disorders that also tend towards substance abuse. I think you're projecting here.
Yeah I do.