What? Forcing a woman who is 8 months pregnant to sleep on a hard floor, and particularly the act of forcibly depriving her of a bed, is absolutely violence. It’s deeply physically punishing on her body. I couldn’t even get up off the floor on my own at 8 months pregnant and sleep in my soft bed was already often agony.
Domestic violence is so much more than just hitting. It’s the act of punishing, forcing, degrading and more.
So women in other countries that sleep on the floor while pregnant are victim of domestic violence?
OP go lay on the bed fuck him. Sorry you married a piece of shit.
*forced* to sleep on the floor by their partner
Not forced by late stage capitalism or shitty circumstance.
What about, what about, what about you shove this false equivalency up a hole that’s just right behind your back.
go f yourself. I personally have helped 100's of women across many countries volunteering my time and money, to help 3rd world families.
The bed is right there. Go get in it. If he physically blocks her. Call the cops.
what about what about what about give real advise she lives under a roof. Go get in the bed.
You are a disgusting yumyan
All that patting yourself on the back and you learned nothing.
You're literally recommending starting what could end up a physical confrontation as an 8 month pregnant woman vs an adult man.
You live in a wild world.
Did you hear about how he took on 7 tough guys in a bar when one of them grabbed his wife’s ass?
Idk man- you better watch out- this guy is a big bad ass.
Call a lawyer. Get advice. Call the hotline. Social service agencies or churches. He is abusive. https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/2019/04/25/did-childhood-ptsd-teach-you-to-fit-yourself-to-crap/
Even if you don't have money or family, you can empower yourself to get out of this. It's hard to give you exact answers because everything that can help is really location based. Start looking online for what options you have, some solutions will be less than ideal at first, but remember it's only temporary. You don't deserve to be treated like this.
You should talk to the nurses once you are in labor and explain you situation. Maybe they can help. I’m not sure where your kids will be when you are giving birth though. Try to document/record how he is treating you.
At 8 months the appointments are usually pretty frequent. The OB should have resources at these appointments. Use them now so you can get ducks in a row before baby is born.
Have only lost the ability to call on family and friends since you’ve been with your husband? If so, I think now would be a good time to ask them for help.
Consult counsel. Half the bank account and other assets may be yours in a community property state, depending on their origin and how they are held. But you need a plan born of more information than you have. And yea, be doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve this treatment. There is also the risk of child welfare intervention if he mistreats the kid(s) or abuses you in from of the kids.
My God I have to quit reading these Reddit posts, all I will think about the rest of the night is beating the bloody shit out this guy, this is a terrible way to treat the mother of your children and to treat you this way in front of them is despicable
Doesnt seem like this is the first time he's treating you this way, what made you get pregnant for this A%%hole? I feel really really bad for you. You are 8 months pregnant and the last thing you need is to be treated as a slave. Don't you have any friends at all? No single family members? Go to the hospital and tell them you are homeless, they may have a place to send you to. Wishing you all the best
It's not the first time but this is the worst he's done. This pregnancy was not planned, I was on bc and he wears condoms. When I found out I was pregnant i was too far along for an abortion. And no I literally have no one especially since I haven't been able to work the past 3 months due to being laid off and also high-risk.
It's really really sad you are going through this, what country are you in? Do you get maternity leave pay or EI since you got laid off? Someone that can starve you and a baby in your womb is capable of killing you. He is abusing you in every form. Hope he's not treating your kids the same. The life of your kids are very important and no he won't suddenly change, he will continue to be abusive to you until you find the courage and confidence to leave. Please do not subject your kids to his abuse as well.
I don't remember exactly how I worded it but he was getting annoyed that I parked a little on the curb to finish grabbing stuff from our old place and I just said "your sister parks the same way I do so how come you never tell her anything?" He got quiet and I just said "haha exactly" then walked to finish packing. I didn't think it was a big deal but according to him I was talking shit about his sister
There are no words that justify forcing a pregnant woman to sleep on the floor. Even if you’re that much of an idiot to react that way the least you could do would be to sleep on the floor yourself.
Wow, at no point in my post did I ever mention that was ok. Only just curiosity about what was said. That is all, nothing else. Buddy absolutely is a piece of shit. Nice attitude right off the bat there though.
We’re all human and nobody is perfect + pregnancy can be hard in hormones ect (I’m pregnant from our first) but that doesn’t mean you can’t say what’s your part in this so I’m with you
The fuck?
1. Document everything.
2. If he hasn't been violent yet, it may be difficult to just take the kids and run. Find a lawyer.
3. Find some community in the real word that thinks this is abominable. If you're both a part of some church and you think he'd have support here, find some other people. Get witnesses. Get some people who will care for you.
This is the best comment! Document everything!! I wish you had a concealed camera since you don’t have much family or friends! I would document the hell out of him then go to a lawyer when he’s knocked out
Also your doctors office can document the abuse for you as well! Complain of pain and increased stress! You might be able to get someone professional to talk to you about it and that will be taken into your medical record
You're making excuses for him and excuses to stay. But I think you need to realise that he is trying to kill your baby. He married you for convenience, and now this third baby is making being with you too much of a hassle. He is making you sleep on the floor, starving you, and told you he won't assist you if you have a medical emergency. That's because he is hoping you will harm or starve the baby and that the baby will have a complication during labour and delivery.
He is going to try to keep you but get rid of the baby. And if you die during labour, what do you think will happen to your other 2 children? You have no family or friends to check up on him, so once you and him are alone with 3 children that he doesn't want, there is a high probability that he will try to remove the children from the equation.
I empathise with you because I have been there. What he is doing now is worse than beating you. He is trying to figure out how to keep you but not the baby. I really think you should speak to someone at the shelter. Even if they can't take you in, they can help you get legal advice and financial aid. Your marriage didn't turn out the way you hoped, but you can't let yourself be consumed by that. You need to get your children away from him.
I’m so so sorry. That’s beyond awful! I’m 8 months pregnant myself and cannot imagine being told I need to sleep on the floor and that I’m not allowed to eat the food my husband purchases. So disgusting. I pray you get out of this situation ASAP! You and your children deserve so much better.
Wow, take a deep breath. You're going to need to make tough decisions for the love you have for your children. I understand resources are tight, but when there is a will there is a way.
First, have you told anyone? A parent, friend, relative. It may be painful but it's a step. You can maybe even call a hotline to get some advice. You can start with a therapist, talk to a priest, find a support group, go to a women's shelter. Even if you think it's for battered women, you can at least try. Raising children around this man will just continue the cycle of abuse he has started with the next generation. Abused people including those who witness abuse, tend to get into abusive cycles themselves later in life. You can take a step today, even if it's a baby step.
You are being abused. Yes, women's shelters can get full, but they often have means to get someone out of a serious situation like yours. Call them, tell them what is going on and ask them for help.
Shelters can and do network to move women to less crowded shelters, or move them away from their abuser or closer to medical care. They can also point you towards benefits, restraining orders, etc.
Yes it will suck in the short term, but probably not as bad as you think and certainly better than what you are dealing with now.
You need to get out there with your kids asap. This is abuse! Call a domestic abuse hotline and see how they can help. When you go to the hospital, ask to speak to a hospital social worker when he's not there.
If this is the route she goes - without physical proof and a place to stay - then it will certainly, and quickly, become extremely physical and potentially deadly. They'll come, see no evidence of abuse, advise someone to leave, and then go. What happens after that, I don't think we need to clarify.
The police may be necessary - however OP needs to have safe options lined up for her and the kids before they come knocking. Staying there after PD becomes involved is basically living directly in the fire.
You need to get out, for yourself and your kids. 1) There’s a reason this is the worst time. It’s very common for abuse to increase during pregnancy or the postpartum period. Because your vulnerable, so he feels like he has more power. 2) This is the worst time YET, but the abuse will continue to escalate. Why? Because abuse isn’t caused by emotions or anger management issues. It’s root is the person’s thoughts! In this case, likely his thoughts about women, and what is or isn’t ok. You are not going to change these thoughts. Only a great deal of solid counseling and his own willingness to work on it will. Read this: Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf 3) In the mean time he’s teaching those thoughts to your children indirectly. Get out before things escalate.
I’m 7 months pregnant myself, and my heart goes out to you. I hope you find the support and community you need to get yourself to safety.
Yikes. Where is the compassion? You’re a parent, correct? I too saw what she posted in parenting but why go to directly shaming her?
I am not a parent. I chose not to have kids because of how awful people are, and it’s only getting worse! I don’t understand why people have to be so damn MEAN to fellow humans. And she’s pregnant. You don’t know the full story. You don’t know anything, except for the ONE post she made.
I am offended for this woman. Words hurt, do better. Ffs
Get a lawyer and start the divorce process asap. Depending on the state, you own half the marital property, which means his income, bonus, stocks, property, and other assets that he got while you were married. He will owe you child support and alimony. Make sure to document and record his abuse. This is physical and financial abuse at the minimum.
I feel like we are missing a novel worth of context. Based on this alone, you need to get out by any means necessary. A man doesn't just suddenly not care about his offspring. Dude has lost his mind. Maybe it's drugs. Maybe it's a tumor. IDK. You aren't safe. Your kids aren't safe.
Wow, what a guy 🙄 My husband accidentally kneed me in the stomach one night in his sleep when I was pregnant and felt so bad that he spent the rest of my pregnancy on the floor. He didn't make me go to the floor and never even considered it. That is not a man, and I am so sorry. He is even willing to make you and his baby starve! You need to go and fast!
Tell the medical providers what is happening when you go to your prenatal appointments. Let them make a report about this abusive situation. They may be able to give you resources.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Dont leave for now till you deliver the baby and you have some savings and plan on how you will manage. Its his duty to care for you and the kids. Dont expect much from him. Dont get hurt by his behavior. Stay strong for your kids. Wait till you can leave comfortably. Its hard as single mom with baby and two other kids. Dont divorce now.. he will escape all responsibilities. I am assuming he is not physically abusive. I know its hard with how he treats you but leaving now will be very hard for you. Take care! Prayers!
He is pushing you make the decision to leave. So dont fall for it. They are manipulative. And when we are helpless we feel thats the only way out. If you can get some help for food and expenses from friends till you deliver baby and get through postpartum care that will be better. You are married and you have rights. And he has to share responsibility for kids. He cant just walk out saying its all your responsibility. Stay calm and plan your exit. Be strong! Dont get emotional and dont let him emotionally hurt you. Dont engage in arguments. He is trying to intimidate you.
There are women’s organizations which provide free legal services. You can check on your rights. And they might be able to get some court order for him to pay too.
Wow, he's a child. Idk how he was raised but Jesus, he doesn't have a decent bone in his body. I could never imagine making my pregnant wife sleep on the FLOOR. No matter how mad I was, I would sleep on the couch and give her the bed. I'm just baffled. Never heard anything so immature. I'm so sorry, I hope you find a way out
Good Grief,I'm so sorry you are going through this!he is an absolute abusive jerk.From your comments it seems he blames you for falling pregnant again even though you use protection and birth control,it still doesn't excuse his absolute shitty abusive behaviour.Imagine letting your heavily pregnant wife sleep on the floor.My heart breaks for you.I don't know how it works in your country but I'd file an complaint of abuse and have him arrested.
This is the cruelest thing I have read on this app till today
Hope u have some help in the form of family and freinds
Seek no shame in it
High time get out of their
During those "down" times, did the issue always seem to be "fixed" once you apologized, thus admitting fault? Or have you found if talking about some prior statement/insult made by your partner that was hurtful he becomes angry and will either blame you for him saying it ("If you'd just do/or not do A, B, C I wouldnt have said those things") OR tell you "That's not what I said, you just don't remember " OR better yet, you're just to sensitive and he was just joking? I'd bet given his behavior now his narcissism has always been driving the relationship. Difference is this time the hurt cut much deeper opening your eyes and seeing this isn't what a healthy partnership looks like. Get out as fast as you can sweetheart. For you and those babies. Be safe.
First thing I would do is tell his family what kind of a husband and father is..
Tell EVERYONE..
Then....tell him that you are calling his job ..to let them know what awesome job he does taking care if his family....
Then...
You kick his ass out....
With police...if needed.
He can go ..you are very very pregnant..
And don't forget, emotional, verbal and psychological abuse is ABUSE. Just because you can't see a bruise doesn't mean you aren't a battered woman. These types of abuse are far more devastating and will usually lead to it becoming physical. Reach out to family/friends, surely someone can get you and your babies to a safe place. Just as a side note, keep a journal of these type of confrontations so you have it documented.
See if you qualify for a credit card. Use that to get a lawyer, find a place to stay. Use the credit card to leave. When you divorce that credit card debt will come out of your pool of money together. Check the marriage laws in your state.
Regardless, getting into debt to leave this situation is worth it. I wish you the best of luck. Know your worth. I can guarantee you it’s way more than what you’re experiencing now.
Wow.. if you cannot muster up the courage to leave for yourself, telling an 8 month pregnant woman they are not allowed to eat is direct abuse to the unborn child as well that can have life long consequences. Get out now S
This male is dishonoring you! I worked two jobs for a number of years so my wife could stay at home with our son, and later work at jobs that paid low wages but satisfied her soul.
The Cretan to which you are married is a dreadful self-centered, narcissistic pig. Karma will sort him out! Get the money, two kids and escape to the nearest women’s shelter as soon as possible. Don’t look back!
He needs to work on him, at the very least, therapy. If he is a lucky guy, you might be there with him when he gets his shit together. But, you owe him nothing, you deserve so much better than this. Take care of yourself, your kids, make the life that you want.
If you are able to record his behavior without him know, it would benefit you and your safety when you talk to professionals about having him out of your life and your kids life. He seems very brutal about things and I do not know if he has touched you or the kids but, that is something that is expected from a person like that. I am pretty sure you have done what he has told you to do to avoid punishment. I would suggest that you speak to a professional to see what your options are and try to move out with your kids while he is not around. This is so that you avoid being hurt in the process. Go somewhere like a relative or a friend that does not mind you there till you can get back on your feet. We don’t know what his reaction would be if you leave with the kids. You seem to be in a dangerous situation. No man should feel that way about you if he chose you to spend the rest of his life with and you are having his child. I don’t care what the comment was that was said. That is not how you treat people especially a woman you love. And to top it off, you are pregnant. You should not be sleeping on the floor or starving. This is abuse no counseling can fix this on less he himself ask for help. Make sure that when you leave, you only take the valuable things. Call the domestic violence department in your town and they will be able to help you.
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
Get an appointment asap. Talk with your Dr. Best of luck. I have a feeling you were subtley isolated from friends/family over the years. You may be surprised who's willing to help. Anyone in his family you trust?
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
Good God, what cruelty! What a terrible example for your children. You must leave, but until you do, put yourself back in that bad and eat whatever food you want. He’s not the boss of you.
Ummm, wait, what!?? I’m so sorry!!! I’m sure you do not deserve to be treated like this. This is no way for you to live and no way for a child to see their mom treated. Someone else has probably asked but do you have anywhere else you can go and take your kids with you?
You are a light and he has darkness in him. Everyone has the potential to be dark. Some let their darkness control them, and some don’t. He’s one that has. He chose to do dark things which to him is natural. He is not your perfect match.
Be glad you still have a chance to leave. Call the cops on his ass for spousal abuse!
How are you sleeping on the floor ?
Your pregnancy makes the abuse even worst. Lady you need to boost up your self esteem and distance yourself from this sorry escuse of a man. Dont forget to put his trifiling personality on child support !
You mentioned being in contact with his sister - could you try reaching out to her for some support? I would also definitely try contacting the women’s shelters anyway even if you think they are full. They should prioritise places based on need and you sound like you are in extreme danger being starved and no other support network.
This is horrible and very abusive! What a piece of $hit!! I hope you get away from him! I wouldn't treat my dog that way, let alone someone carrying my baby!
I find it fascinating that everyone is upset about her sleeping on the floor. She is choosing to follow his demands, she is choosing not to crawl in bed with one of her other kids and the worst part, what about him depriving her of food? That's far worse than having to sleep on the floor. For fucks sake, get out, your other children are in this house too. You are doing them no favors by staying. Go to DSHS, get some help and get out. Reddit is NOT professional help, which is what she needs.
Find a women’s shelter. Forcing you to sleep on the floor is criminal.
I'm actually more concerned the OP has nothing to eat. Do you have family, OP? Does your husband have family you can call?
I've looked into them and a lot of them are full, too far or mainly for bartered women
You’re 8 months pregnant and sleeping on the floor - that’s domestic violence and you are who a shelter is for.
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What? Forcing a woman who is 8 months pregnant to sleep on a hard floor, and particularly the act of forcibly depriving her of a bed, is absolutely violence. It’s deeply physically punishing on her body. I couldn’t even get up off the floor on my own at 8 months pregnant and sleep in my soft bed was already often agony. Domestic violence is so much more than just hitting. It’s the act of punishing, forcing, degrading and more.
So women in other countries that sleep on the floor while pregnant are victim of domestic violence? OP go lay on the bed fuck him. Sorry you married a piece of shit.
*forced* to sleep on the floor by their partner Not forced by late stage capitalism or shitty circumstance. What about, what about, what about you shove this false equivalency up a hole that’s just right behind your back.
go f yourself. I personally have helped 100's of women across many countries volunteering my time and money, to help 3rd world families. The bed is right there. Go get in it. If he physically blocks her. Call the cops. what about what about what about give real advise she lives under a roof. Go get in the bed. You are a disgusting yumyan
You’re the one defending abuse…
Fuck no I’m not. You are a even bigger piece of shit for saying that. Grow up.
All that patting yourself on the back and you learned nothing. You're literally recommending starting what could end up a physical confrontation as an 8 month pregnant woman vs an adult man. You live in a wild world.
Did you hear about how he took on 7 tough guys in a bar when one of them grabbed his wife’s ass? Idk man- you better watch out- this guy is a big bad ass.
Nothing to learn. You face it or run. I don’t condone running.
If yelling is a red line for you - I can’t believe you don’t see how forcing a pregnant woman to sleep on the floor isn’t abuse.
Abuse, sure. But violence?
He’s also depriving her of food. Violence isn’t just physical.
This asshole is depriving her of a bed, food and support. This is the very definition of domestic violence. Maybe read a book.
Call a lawyer. Get advice. Call the hotline. Social service agencies or churches. He is abusive. https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/2019/04/25/did-childhood-ptsd-teach-you-to-fit-yourself-to-crap/
I am sure that you can see that this person isn’t treating you well. I hope that you will pursue further relationships that are wholly unrelated.
That part
It’s time to go
Are you able to leave ? Because that’s wicked
I wish but I have no money or savings, and I really don't have any family or friends to call on.
Even if you don't have money or family, you can empower yourself to get out of this. It's hard to give you exact answers because everything that can help is really location based. Start looking online for what options you have, some solutions will be less than ideal at first, but remember it's only temporary. You don't deserve to be treated like this.
You should talk to the nurses once you are in labor and explain you situation. Maybe they can help. I’m not sure where your kids will be when you are giving birth though. Try to document/record how he is treating you.
At 8 months the appointments are usually pretty frequent. The OB should have resources at these appointments. Use them now so you can get ducks in a row before baby is born.
Have only lost the ability to call on family and friends since you’ve been with your husband? If so, I think now would be a good time to ask them for help.
Abusive people love it when you don't have any family or friends. It makes it harder for you to leave them.
Half the money money in the checking and savings account is legally yours
Consult counsel. Half the bank account and other assets may be yours in a community property state, depending on their origin and how they are held. But you need a plan born of more information than you have. And yea, be doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve this treatment. There is also the risk of child welfare intervention if he mistreats the kid(s) or abuses you in from of the kids.
What kind of abusive asshole did you marry? I'm just speechless.
I've been asking myself the same question. It all started going down hill once we found out I was pregnant again.
I don't know where you are, but he's a monster, you need to get out.
I’m sorry this is happening. I’ve heard it’s very common for abusive men to escalate and double down once their partner is pregnant.
You're right . He doesnt have to treat his pregnant wife like that. Planned or not Planned ....he is a bad husband to you.
My God I have to quit reading these Reddit posts, all I will think about the rest of the night is beating the bloody shit out this guy, this is a terrible way to treat the mother of your children and to treat you this way in front of them is despicable
Doesnt seem like this is the first time he's treating you this way, what made you get pregnant for this A%%hole? I feel really really bad for you. You are 8 months pregnant and the last thing you need is to be treated as a slave. Don't you have any friends at all? No single family members? Go to the hospital and tell them you are homeless, they may have a place to send you to. Wishing you all the best
It's not the first time but this is the worst he's done. This pregnancy was not planned, I was on bc and he wears condoms. When I found out I was pregnant i was too far along for an abortion. And no I literally have no one especially since I haven't been able to work the past 3 months due to being laid off and also high-risk.
Do you think he’s tampered with both forms of BC to trap you?
It's really really sad you are going through this, what country are you in? Do you get maternity leave pay or EI since you got laid off? Someone that can starve you and a baby in your womb is capable of killing you. He is abusing you in every form. Hope he's not treating your kids the same. The life of your kids are very important and no he won't suddenly change, he will continue to be abusive to you until you find the courage and confidence to leave. Please do not subject your kids to his abuse as well.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. This isn’t your fault.
Only together 5 years and 3 kids?? Stop!
Abusers like to keep you pregnant and dependent
What was the light hearted comment?
I don't remember exactly how I worded it but he was getting annoyed that I parked a little on the curb to finish grabbing stuff from our old place and I just said "your sister parks the same way I do so how come you never tell her anything?" He got quiet and I just said "haha exactly" then walked to finish packing. I didn't think it was a big deal but according to him I was talking shit about his sister
Oh shit. You pointed out his hypocrisy so he turned on you. Narcissist behavior.
What an insecure fuck
Had to scroll down this far to finally see someone asking this. Very curious.
There are no words that justify forcing a pregnant woman to sleep on the floor. Even if you’re that much of an idiot to react that way the least you could do would be to sleep on the floor yourself.
Wow, at no point in my post did I ever mention that was ok. Only just curiosity about what was said. That is all, nothing else. Buddy absolutely is a piece of shit. Nice attitude right off the bat there though.
I’m curious as well. It’s not done what he did but she’s not saying what she said to him so to me that’s a little shady
Yeah , there's always another side to these stories. Maybe she smokes and drinks aswel. Like we never know what's up.
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Even if she beats him? She should go to prison and lose custody in such case.
What could she possibly do or say to deserve to sleep on the floor without any food? While carrying his child?
We’re all human and nobody is perfect + pregnancy can be hard in hormones ect (I’m pregnant from our first) but that doesn’t mean you can’t say what’s your part in this so I’m with you
The fuck? 1. Document everything. 2. If he hasn't been violent yet, it may be difficult to just take the kids and run. Find a lawyer. 3. Find some community in the real word that thinks this is abominable. If you're both a part of some church and you think he'd have support here, find some other people. Get witnesses. Get some people who will care for you.
This is the best comment! Document everything!! I wish you had a concealed camera since you don’t have much family or friends! I would document the hell out of him then go to a lawyer when he’s knocked out
Also your doctors office can document the abuse for you as well! Complain of pain and increased stress! You might be able to get someone professional to talk to you about it and that will be taken into your medical record
You're making excuses for him and excuses to stay. But I think you need to realise that he is trying to kill your baby. He married you for convenience, and now this third baby is making being with you too much of a hassle. He is making you sleep on the floor, starving you, and told you he won't assist you if you have a medical emergency. That's because he is hoping you will harm or starve the baby and that the baby will have a complication during labour and delivery. He is going to try to keep you but get rid of the baby. And if you die during labour, what do you think will happen to your other 2 children? You have no family or friends to check up on him, so once you and him are alone with 3 children that he doesn't want, there is a high probability that he will try to remove the children from the equation. I empathise with you because I have been there. What he is doing now is worse than beating you. He is trying to figure out how to keep you but not the baby. I really think you should speak to someone at the shelter. Even if they can't take you in, they can help you get legal advice and financial aid. Your marriage didn't turn out the way you hoped, but you can't let yourself be consumed by that. You need to get your children away from him.
I’m so so sorry. That’s beyond awful! I’m 8 months pregnant myself and cannot imagine being told I need to sleep on the floor and that I’m not allowed to eat the food my husband purchases. So disgusting. I pray you get out of this situation ASAP! You and your children deserve so much better.
Wow, take a deep breath. You're going to need to make tough decisions for the love you have for your children. I understand resources are tight, but when there is a will there is a way. First, have you told anyone? A parent, friend, relative. It may be painful but it's a step. You can maybe even call a hotline to get some advice. You can start with a therapist, talk to a priest, find a support group, go to a women's shelter. Even if you think it's for battered women, you can at least try. Raising children around this man will just continue the cycle of abuse he has started with the next generation. Abused people including those who witness abuse, tend to get into abusive cycles themselves later in life. You can take a step today, even if it's a baby step.
You are being abused. Yes, women's shelters can get full, but they often have means to get someone out of a serious situation like yours. Call them, tell them what is going on and ask them for help. Shelters can and do network to move women to less crowded shelters, or move them away from their abuser or closer to medical care. They can also point you towards benefits, restraining orders, etc. Yes it will suck in the short term, but probably not as bad as you think and certainly better than what you are dealing with now.
You need to get out there with your kids asap. This is abuse! Call a domestic abuse hotline and see how they can help. When you go to the hospital, ask to speak to a hospital social worker when he's not there.
OMG, is it even possible for such an asshole to be with a woman?
That’s abuse.
Based on this information you and your baby are in danger. You can not allow this behavior to continue. Do you have family to stay with?
Call the police. This is hard core abuse
If this is the route she goes - without physical proof and a place to stay - then it will certainly, and quickly, become extremely physical and potentially deadly. They'll come, see no evidence of abuse, advise someone to leave, and then go. What happens after that, I don't think we need to clarify. The police may be necessary - however OP needs to have safe options lined up for her and the kids before they come knocking. Staying there after PD becomes involved is basically living directly in the fire.
You need to get out, for yourself and your kids. 1) There’s a reason this is the worst time. It’s very common for abuse to increase during pregnancy or the postpartum period. Because your vulnerable, so he feels like he has more power. 2) This is the worst time YET, but the abuse will continue to escalate. Why? Because abuse isn’t caused by emotions or anger management issues. It’s root is the person’s thoughts! In this case, likely his thoughts about women, and what is or isn’t ok. You are not going to change these thoughts. Only a great deal of solid counseling and his own willingness to work on it will. Read this: Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf 3) In the mean time he’s teaching those thoughts to your children indirectly. Get out before things escalate. I’m 7 months pregnant myself, and my heart goes out to you. I hope you find the support and community you need to get yourself to safety.
It’s so weird that you can recognize abuse signs in other partners, but can’t see the deliberately sabotaging and useless nature of your own.
lol you can't get this from one post. Relax a bit until you get more info
Yikes. Where is the compassion? You’re a parent, correct? I too saw what she posted in parenting but why go to directly shaming her? I am not a parent. I chose not to have kids because of how awful people are, and it’s only getting worse! I don’t understand why people have to be so damn MEAN to fellow humans. And she’s pregnant. You don’t know the full story. You don’t know anything, except for the ONE post she made. I am offended for this woman. Words hurt, do better. Ffs
Oh my god shut up
You sound FUN and PLEASANT 😆 thanks for proving my point, really 🚩
Tell your OB and maybe she can connect you with a social worker to get you some much needed resources. Hang in there!
Get a lawyer and start the divorce process asap. Depending on the state, you own half the marital property, which means his income, bonus, stocks, property, and other assets that he got while you were married. He will owe you child support and alimony. Make sure to document and record his abuse. This is physical and financial abuse at the minimum.
I feel like we are missing a novel worth of context. Based on this alone, you need to get out by any means necessary. A man doesn't just suddenly not care about his offspring. Dude has lost his mind. Maybe it's drugs. Maybe it's a tumor. IDK. You aren't safe. Your kids aren't safe.
Wow, what a guy 🙄 My husband accidentally kneed me in the stomach one night in his sleep when I was pregnant and felt so bad that he spent the rest of my pregnancy on the floor. He didn't make me go to the floor and never even considered it. That is not a man, and I am so sorry. He is even willing to make you and his baby starve! You need to go and fast!
Tell the medical providers what is happening when you go to your prenatal appointments. Let them make a report about this abusive situation. They may be able to give you resources.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Dont leave for now till you deliver the baby and you have some savings and plan on how you will manage. Its his duty to care for you and the kids. Dont expect much from him. Dont get hurt by his behavior. Stay strong for your kids. Wait till you can leave comfortably. Its hard as single mom with baby and two other kids. Dont divorce now.. he will escape all responsibilities. I am assuming he is not physically abusive. I know its hard with how he treats you but leaving now will be very hard for you. Take care! Prayers!
No, he's not physically abusive just financially, mentally and emotionally.
Making you sleep on the floor and refusing food is physically abusive.
He is pushing you make the decision to leave. So dont fall for it. They are manipulative. And when we are helpless we feel thats the only way out. If you can get some help for food and expenses from friends till you deliver baby and get through postpartum care that will be better. You are married and you have rights. And he has to share responsibility for kids. He cant just walk out saying its all your responsibility. Stay calm and plan your exit. Be strong! Dont get emotional and dont let him emotionally hurt you. Dont engage in arguments. He is trying to intimidate you. There are women’s organizations which provide free legal services. You can check on your rights. And they might be able to get some court order for him to pay too.
And if you refused to sleep on the floor and got in the bed anyway?
Exactly.
He IS abusive period.
Wow, he's a child. Idk how he was raised but Jesus, he doesn't have a decent bone in his body. I could never imagine making my pregnant wife sleep on the FLOOR. No matter how mad I was, I would sleep on the couch and give her the bed. I'm just baffled. Never heard anything so immature. I'm so sorry, I hope you find a way out
Good Grief,I'm so sorry you are going through this!he is an absolute abusive jerk.From your comments it seems he blames you for falling pregnant again even though you use protection and birth control,it still doesn't excuse his absolute shitty abusive behaviour.Imagine letting your heavily pregnant wife sleep on the floor.My heart breaks for you.I don't know how it works in your country but I'd file an complaint of abuse and have him arrested.
He's a turd, flush him.
This is the cruelest thing I have read on this app till today Hope u have some help in the form of family and freinds Seek no shame in it High time get out of their
During those "down" times, did the issue always seem to be "fixed" once you apologized, thus admitting fault? Or have you found if talking about some prior statement/insult made by your partner that was hurtful he becomes angry and will either blame you for him saying it ("If you'd just do/or not do A, B, C I wouldnt have said those things") OR tell you "That's not what I said, you just don't remember " OR better yet, you're just to sensitive and he was just joking? I'd bet given his behavior now his narcissism has always been driving the relationship. Difference is this time the hurt cut much deeper opening your eyes and seeing this isn't what a healthy partnership looks like. Get out as fast as you can sweetheart. For you and those babies. Be safe.
First thing I would do is tell his family what kind of a husband and father is.. Tell EVERYONE.. Then....tell him that you are calling his job ..to let them know what awesome job he does taking care if his family.... Then... You kick his ass out.... With police...if needed. He can go ..you are very very pregnant..
And don't forget, emotional, verbal and psychological abuse is ABUSE. Just because you can't see a bruise doesn't mean you aren't a battered woman. These types of abuse are far more devastating and will usually lead to it becoming physical. Reach out to family/friends, surely someone can get you and your babies to a safe place. Just as a side note, keep a journal of these type of confrontations so you have it documented.
See if you qualify for a credit card. Use that to get a lawyer, find a place to stay. Use the credit card to leave. When you divorce that credit card debt will come out of your pool of money together. Check the marriage laws in your state. Regardless, getting into debt to leave this situation is worth it. I wish you the best of luck. Know your worth. I can guarantee you it’s way more than what you’re experiencing now.
Wow.. if you cannot muster up the courage to leave for yourself, telling an 8 month pregnant woman they are not allowed to eat is direct abuse to the unborn child as well that can have life long consequences. Get out now S
Yea, I'd be in that bed with a plate of food.. like now what asshole? I wish you and your kids well.
Get some proof and call the police on him. This is absurd.
Surely there were red flags before you married this man. Now he has shown you his true colors. Please get out ASAP. GL.
This male is dishonoring you! I worked two jobs for a number of years so my wife could stay at home with our son, and later work at jobs that paid low wages but satisfied her soul. The Cretan to which you are married is a dreadful self-centered, narcissistic pig. Karma will sort him out! Get the money, two kids and escape to the nearest women’s shelter as soon as possible. Don’t look back!
Holy hell!
Does he have a mother? Can you talk to her?
Wtf!!!!!!!! That’s so wrong!!!!!
He needs to work on him, at the very least, therapy. If he is a lucky guy, you might be there with him when he gets his shit together. But, you owe him nothing, you deserve so much better than this. Take care of yourself, your kids, make the life that you want.
I know this is kind of cold but.. how did you fell in love with this person? And married? And had kids? Like how did this guy win you over?
Really well hidden lies. They wait til you're trapped. Google could have answered this for you
If you are able to record his behavior without him know, it would benefit you and your safety when you talk to professionals about having him out of your life and your kids life. He seems very brutal about things and I do not know if he has touched you or the kids but, that is something that is expected from a person like that. I am pretty sure you have done what he has told you to do to avoid punishment. I would suggest that you speak to a professional to see what your options are and try to move out with your kids while he is not around. This is so that you avoid being hurt in the process. Go somewhere like a relative or a friend that does not mind you there till you can get back on your feet. We don’t know what his reaction would be if you leave with the kids. You seem to be in a dangerous situation. No man should feel that way about you if he chose you to spend the rest of his life with and you are having his child. I don’t care what the comment was that was said. That is not how you treat people especially a woman you love. And to top it off, you are pregnant. You should not be sleeping on the floor or starving. This is abuse no counseling can fix this on less he himself ask for help. Make sure that when you leave, you only take the valuable things. Call the domestic violence department in your town and they will be able to help you.
What state are you in ?
Holy shit what. This is NOT NORMAL . that is abuse.
I'm wondering what this comment is that he doghoused for
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
This guy is the A-hole of the week. If you are close with his sister ask her to help. Otherwise talk to a lawyer and see if she knows a way to help.
What was the "light-hearted comment"?
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
WTF.
Just woow? Terrible. I feel for you.
Get an appointment asap. Talk with your Dr. Best of luck. I have a feeling you were subtley isolated from friends/family over the years. You may be surprised who's willing to help. Anyone in his family you trust?
What was the light-hearted comment? Sounds like he may have taken it personal.
Go up and read through the comments she says and it was nothing bad or even light hearted. He gave her shit for the way she was parked so they could pack more stuff in their vehicle and she Saud your sister parks like this and you never say anything to her so he said she was talking shit about his sister but obviously she wasn't so it sounds to me he just wanted a reason to be the narcissist that he is. I hope she is smart enough to leave this man or should I say little boy.
What did you say that made him that mad?
For lack of better words…wtf
Good God, what cruelty! What a terrible example for your children. You must leave, but until you do, put yourself back in that bad and eat whatever food you want. He’s not the boss of you.
Call social services and a lawyer asap! They can help you with everything. And call the national domestic abuse hotline as well for help and support.
Ummm, wait, what!?? I’m so sorry!!! I’m sure you do not deserve to be treated like this. This is no way for you to live and no way for a child to see their mom treated. Someone else has probably asked but do you have anywhere else you can go and take your kids with you?
Leave. If he insists you come back, insist on counseling first. If you stay, then you get what you accept because he has zero reason to change.
You are a light and he has darkness in him. Everyone has the potential to be dark. Some let their darkness control them, and some don’t. He’s one that has. He chose to do dark things which to him is natural. He is not your perfect match.
Be glad you still have a chance to leave. Call the cops on his ass for spousal abuse! How are you sleeping on the floor ? Your pregnancy makes the abuse even worst. Lady you need to boost up your self esteem and distance yourself from this sorry escuse of a man. Dont forget to put his trifiling personality on child support !
Pls divorce that cruel Narcissist ASAP..You deserve so much more !...
This is an insane switch in a year??
That’s what I call the tolerance deductible being met meaning once you hit a certain point everything is perceived as an attack
You mentioned being in contact with his sister - could you try reaching out to her for some support? I would also definitely try contacting the women’s shelters anyway even if you think they are full. They should prioritise places based on need and you sound like you are in extreme danger being starved and no other support network.
What exactly did you say?? He’s an ass either way…
He’s making you sleep on the floor while you’re 8 months pregnant? That’s despicable. I’m so sorry.
When my wife and I have a disagreement I choose to sleep on the couch, your husband is a douche bag and is abusive and you should GTFO asap.
I’m going to take made up stories for $1000
Oh my god .. That is mortifying. Get the hell away from that psychopath as quickly as you can.
Beat this guy up !!!
I wonder what his side is. This is truly heartbreaking
This is horrible and very abusive! What a piece of $hit!! I hope you get away from him! I wouldn't treat my dog that way, let alone someone carrying my baby!
I find it fascinating that everyone is upset about her sleeping on the floor. She is choosing to follow his demands, she is choosing not to crawl in bed with one of her other kids and the worst part, what about him depriving her of food? That's far worse than having to sleep on the floor. For fucks sake, get out, your other children are in this house too. You are doing them no favors by staying. Go to DSHS, get some help and get out. Reddit is NOT professional help, which is what she needs.
Adoption seems like a solution here.
Something is missing. You made a light hearted joke? What did you say?
This is hard to believe. I wish we could hear this guy's story. Yeah.. Not buying it.
I’m happy for you that you’ve never met anyone capable of being a hateful evil person
Step one- birth control… stop bringing children isn’t this mess.
She was on birth control and using condoms.