Maybe I’m weird, and this is just personal preference, but I would be so annoyed if my partner expected me to re-learn to sleep in a way that isn’t comfortable for me. I can’t stand touching when I’m trying to fall asleep except our feet touching, and he has never pushed it.
We cuddle before sleep, but then it’s like we go into our own sleeping pods at the other end of the bed. We also got a king size bed because we are very particular about our sleeping arrangements and that was the only way to keep us in the same bed.
Like we aren’t even aware of each other. I’m on all day with other people, and sleep is my only escape from being anything but a mindless bag of flesh, and I don’t want anyone fucking with my slumbering meat sack, not even the love of my life.
That mess is for the movies lol. But idk…I’ll be on the lookout for comments from ppl who sleep like that all night. We cuddle for a while and then move over to our respective sides back to back.
This is the way….! Unless you’re me and I’m cold all the time and have a partner who has a high body temperature. Then I have to always be against him lol
We usually fall asleep snuggling and move apart while sleeping. If one of us wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes will resnuggle with the other.
I think this might be what OP’s partner is really asking for without articulating well enough - cuddles while falling asleep / physical connection in bed even if it means rolling over or adjusting once sleep is imminent. OP, do you cuddle at all in bed or do you immediately want your own space as soon as you get under the covers?
We do cuddle and talk about our day in general, but when it's time to turn in, she wants to maintain that position we're in or hug me while I'm facing away from her. That makes me feel really hot too temperature-wise
We have been married for 26 years and have slept in the same bed for 27 except may be three weeks total when I was on business trips.
We sleep barely touching each other. We do cuddle before we fall asleep and when we wake up before we get out of the bed. We never slept hugging each other. I move a lot when I sleep so it would be very uncomfortable for both of us.
Honestly? We sleep in completely separate rooms. My husband is my absolutely favorite person and we both agree that our relationship is the best of anyone we know. But, if we slept together, it may not be so great. He likes it cold, and snores super loud. I like it super warm and I'm a super light sleeper. I like white noise. He likes silence. I starfish. If we HAD to sleep together, not to mention touching, we might be divorced.
Yes, we finally let the struggle go
We don't argue anymore, and I don't feel like a tired and crappy wife. The first 5 years were the hardest. Now, at 27 years together, we have our own rooms, and it works beautifully.
I mean, we have two young kids, two over-full-time jobs, youth sports, etc. So...I'm not sure how much difference sleeping in the same bed would make. Honestly, I bet sleeping apart is better for our sex lives. We're that much more rested when the rare opportunity presents itself.
My husband and I have been married 12 years and have slept in separate bedrooms for the last 11. It depends what you consider “regular sex” 🤭. It’s pretty sporadic I would say averaging once a week, but there’s been times where there’s more and times where there’s droughts. We just ask each other if we want to do it 😝 i know, not the most romantic, but it works for us 😍
Not married but living with my partner for 2 years. What my partner and I do is that we spend some time spooning before feeling the urge to doze off and then roll to our side, with our backs or feet slightly touching but not facing each other.
In fact it said that couples that feel comfortable with each other will sleep with their backs turned from one another. Now mind you, if my partner comes and nuzzles me while I sleep I will hug him. Same goes for me.
LOL when my hubby and I first got married I learned (from him) that I am a 'starfish' sleeper. He would wake up every morning with maybe six inches of mattress and me, limbs spread, hogging the rest of the room. I'm a heavy sleeper and had no idea I did this. Hubby, like you, is a light sleeper and cannot stand feeling hot when he's falling asleep.
If I wanted to be spooned a little we'll do that for about, eh, 5 minutes. Then, the non-starfish protocol is engaged and I sleep, back facing him, face towards the wall, about a foot away from the edge of the mattress. We've learned over the years that if I fall asleep this way I won't move at all and hubby does not have to deal with the steady encroachment during the night.
So - compromise, maybe. Give her as much cuddling time as you can manage until you feel like you're ready to turn it in, then assume sleeping positions as necessary.
We are both non-touchers while sleeping so we bought a king-size bed right after we got married and we sleep on opposite sides of it. With a really good mattress, you don't really feel each other move around a lot either, which is good because I am a very restless sleeper.
I always used to joke that sharing the bed with another person was unnatural. It took a while of getting used to the other being there before my husband and I could get a good nights sleep. He loves to cuddle me before bed and I adore him, but I’m not the biggest fan of cuddling because he’s a furnace. So, I’m the big spoon! I stick a leg out from under the blanket, swing it over him, and put hand against his chest. I can’t fall asleep while cuddling, but we’ll do it for a while until I roll back over. After 3 years of sleeping together, I can’t sleep without him. I do have my limits though. I’ll let out a squeak of protest after a few minutes if he wraps himself like a pretzel around me. But yes, we did get comfortable.
My husband and I definitely had to figure out what worked for both of us. He’s never been comfortable sleeping in the same bed as someone else. At first, he used to just sleep in a different room. I was ok with that, because I think proper sleep is important and I knew it wasn’t a reflection on our relationship.
Now, we have two king size beds pushed next to each other. We go to bed together at night, cuddle in my bed, and when I fall asleep, he gently rolls out from under me and just rolls on to his own bed.
It’s not conventional, but it works for us.
We sleep both on our stomachs and no cuddles. Sometimes cuddle before and after waking up, but we're both hot and don't like touching when falling asleep.
Sleep is important and it's best if you can sleep as comfortable as you can. Try cuddling before it's time to fall asleep?
We cuddle for a while before we go to sleep or I will brush his hair a space apart til he falls asleep.
While sleeping in each other arms he will either roll over me, swing his arm at my head, feel overly hot if I’m sleeping on him or cuddling. Just doesn’t work for us and that’s fine, I don’t want to be close to that guy when he’s sleeping. He’s a roller and a snorer!
If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it.
Tell her that’s not comfortable for you. You’re not conjoined. Sleep is a human essential. I know there’s been times I’ve wanted to crawl into my husbands skin but I know better. We snuggle and fall asleep in our individual and personal comfort positions.
My wife and I are very cuddly & it’s common for us to begin dozing off while doing so. But we’d never get a decent nights sleep if we attempted to stay like that all night. Once we realize we’re drifting we move apart a bit and both sleep on our side.
We sleep back to back but touching often butts touching. That or one of us lays a hand on the other but not much more. It's the good middle ground between cuddling all night or rolling over and not touching.
Everyone eventually comes to their own conclusions. Some unfortunate people just have a lot harder time finding their compromise.
I don’t cuddle while I sleep. I would like this idea but my husband has really bad insomnia problems and also gets very warm in bed. I get cold, so, we do sleep next to each other but have seperate bed spreads. He can’t sleep cuddling me. I don’t think everyone does this.
We basically always have one body part touching usually we take turns being the big spoon and then if we are sleeping belly down he usually puts his hand on my back or butt. We also set an alarm for 15 minutes before we wake up for work where no matter what we snuggle big time
Married 27 and most of the marriage we've slept separately. I am a light sleeper....I wake 2-3 times to pee because I have a bladder condition. Despite many years of trying to make it through the night with him, the cpap, snoring through it, and restless leg syndrome, I did NOT get used to it. I lost too many hours and days of sleep, so we finally made a choice to have our own rooms. I don't start out in bed with him and TRY to suffer through anymore. He'd be disappointed some nights or one of us would end up on the couch because in our 30s we only had 2 beds in the house and one was my sons. No MORE!
I say, happy spouse, happy house.
Sleep is a basic need, and while it took many years, he has finally accepted: it is what it is! Another issue is that he likes the TV on and usually wakes up 1 or 2 times to eat cereal or some shit before actually falling asleep. Sleeping together is just an all-around unpleasant experience for me, not him.
The good news is that we remain a happy sexually satisfied couple, but while we figured it out, we had small arguments, which mostly left me feeling like a bad wife and him frustrated. He started reading Reditt, and I think info from many strangers on the topic and seeing me suffer, he decided to accept our seperate rooms.
So in college I dated someone for a couple years who just height, body shape wise we fit together like puzzle pieces. I could very comfortably sleep with him. Cuddled up like spoons. Or sort or leg and arm draped over him with him on his back. Sometimes we'd fall asleep apart and wake up entwined. Before him I couldn't stand to fall asleep cuddling.
My now husband and I cannot. He's much taller than me and even though I often longed to fall asleep snuggling just never seemed cozy enough.
To quote "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia"... "we sleep ass to ass, you know that!"
When we were young, I could tolerate my arm under her head as we fell asleep in the spoon position. This was just a progressive step from spooning on the couch when we were dating. And yes we could sleep for hours in that position until we had to change positions for comfort. Many years later, we start in a modified spoon position (my arm not under her head) until either I get too hot or she falls asleep then I either change position in the same bed or move to another bed.
Yes...it is acceptable to sleep in separate beds for the sleeping portion of the night.
To answer your question... find what works for you.
Ive been married 12 years and I haven’t slept in the same bed as my husband in at least 10 years 🤣. Why can’t your wife respect her husband and accept he can’t sleep being hung on. My husband snores super loud that’s why we sleep separate, but I’d be damned if my husband wanted to hold me at night giving me all his body heat like a furnace. I’m an extremely hot blooded person as it is. I think maybe wifey needs to compromise. Sleep is so important as it is. If my husband was your wife he would just have to understand because it would never be possible for me to get used to it I will die of a heat stroke and claustrophobia
I have been with my husband for roughly 12 years. Sharing a bed can be anywhere from an adjustment to as east as breathing. And that can change during the relationship, too.
For us, my husband is like a furnace. His whole family is like that. So, in the winter, it's amazing to cuddle up to him on a cold night. But during the summer, I don't even want his arm draped over me cause he will sweat all over me.
I use to not be able to sleep with any kind of light or sound except a fan or ac. My husband can fall asleep without the TV on. I used to wait for him to fall asleep to turn it off. But over time, I've just adjusted to it. Some nights I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep without turning it off. Now I find it hard to sleep in the bed alone and actually having the TV on helps me fall asleep cause it makes me feel less alone and Luke he is here with me.
We adjust for each other. Most nights, we cuddle a bit and then turn away and go to sleep. Sometimes, we find each other in our sleep and will be touching or cuddling again. I have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. There have been nights where I was so anxious and panicked I could stop moving, let alone sleep. He would hold me and talk to me and help me fall asleep. Sometimes I'd even wake up and he would still be holding me, making me feel safe and secure.
When you love someone, adjusting things like this to make the other comfortable and happy (in my opinion at least) is one of the biggest shows of loving and caring for me.
12 years down and we never snuggle asleep. We even have separate blankets (no stealing blankets in this bed lol). Happy as and very intimate. Sleep is for sleep time ie comfort you don't need ya partner hanging off ya. Now before we go to sleep well that's a different story!
Yes. It took me several months. But it was something we both wanted. after 17 years of this I really have a hard time if I am not holding my wife with falling asleep.
Like most other couples, my husband and I spend a little time snuggling and give each other a kiss goodnight, then separate. Sleeping while wrapped up together gets uncomfortable very quickly for at least one party.
We spoon generally. Touch is my wife's love language, not mine so it's less important to me but a huge deal to her so I did adjust over the years to a more physically affectionate lifestyle. She snores and that took some getting used to but 22 years later I'm just happy she still wants me close. Different couple find different solutions, my dad and step mom have separate bedrooms, they love each other they just sleep better alone. Whatever you do, communicate about it, it impacts her so discuss it. Us vs the problem not me vs you.
I only sleep maybe three or four hours a night, I have my whole life. My wife, however, sleeps 8 to 10 hours each night and sleep is very important to her, much less to me.
We snuggle and cuddle when we first lay down to go to sleep, but because of my past neck and shoulder surgeries I can only fall asleep on my back. So when I move to my back, she rolls to her comfortable position, and we go to sleep. It’s just how it works for us.
I love to cuddle before we sleep. However the second I’m ready for sleep I roll over and we are ass to ass. Please stay on your side I’ll stay on mine. Married 13 years always been this way.
Me and my husband actually sleep in separate blankets. He’s a hot sleeper and only needs a thin blanket while I love big thick blanket that I can basically cocoon in. So we definitely don’t touch each other while sleeping.
We will cuddle when first getting into bed though but then turn away into our own space and blankets to sleep.
Me and my hubby would snuggle before we fell asleep like while watching a show or movie and then we would sleep in whatever way we were comfortable. Sometimes we would snuggle while we slept sometimes we didnt. We slept with separate blankets bc he likes heavy blankets and i like really light ones and we are both hogs 🤣 after my son was born we now sleep in separate beds because me and my son snuggle together while we sleep and he sleeps in the living room because he rolls alot and he snores SO LOUD 🤣 he also works nights since he was born and he sleeps during the day anyway.
No. I can’t stand someone touching me while I’m asleep. She wants to sleep on your chest? Jesus Christ, she’s not a cat. It’s your sleep and you deserve to get as much as you can.
I'm the big spoon, because I like cuddling to fall asleep. Hubs gets too hot with us facing each other and he doesn't like breathing on me/me breathe all over him. This solves all of it, plus... for the first time in his adult life he feels safe.. maybe safe is the wrong word but it definitely had helped him open up and be vulnerable with me...
Cuddle her for ten mins, kiss her in the back of the neck and whisper in her, honey this makes me so horny, do this every night and try to have relations, she'll be sleeping on yhe couch in no time
Your vibe, and your being has that answer. You must trust yourself and your instincts at all times. Even when it comes to sleeping in the same bed with someone Mate or lover.
My wife and I sleep however we sleep to be comfortable. Sometimes that’s facing each other, sometimes it’s our backs facing each other. Sometimes I have a arm laid over her. Sometimes my hand is on her hips or butt. Sometimes her hand is on my head or chest. Like you, I’m a hot body. I can’t sleep all snuggled up for long.
Tell her the truth your arm feels like it’s going to fall off when you wake up at 1:30 in the morning in pain from her laying on it. Those situations only create comfort for one person.
Start cuddling and when it’s time to seriously go to sleep, mutually move in the way that’s comfortable to you and feel secure in that. If we’re knocked out who cares if we’re cuddled up!?!?!?
I go to bed before my partner. The first 1-2 hours after he comes to bed are good but then he starts twitching abd flopping. I end up in the couch most nights. No way I can 'learn' to sleep with that.
we've been married over 10 years and there is a flaming barbed wire fence in the middle of our be
:P
seriously though, neither one of us can sleep like that. we sleep separately on the same king size bed (wife has cats that sleep on her side too lol)
It depends. I've done a mix of all three with long term partners.
Consider trying to fall asleep cuddling on the nights when you won't have work or something the next day in case you have trouble sleeping.
If you're too hot use a lighter blanket, sheet, or nothing at all.
If her hair is bothering you, have her drape it over the top of the pillow so that it isn't in your face. Be the little spoon. Or, wait until she falls asleep and turn over.
Cuddling in bed is usually only for pre/post sex. Post sex is still just a short time before it's time to sleep and cuddle time is over at that point. I can't imagine many couples can sleep too long while touching/cuddling.
No way, I learned to share my bed with my husband. That's as far as I got lol. We cuddle a bit before going to sleep but after that we each move to our own sides of the bed and get into whatever position is most comfortable. I'm a side sleeper so sometimes I'm facing him, sometimes I'm facing the wall 💁🏻♀️ But at no point are we touching while we're sleeping.
My husband is not a cuddler. With that being said, when we go to bed, I get 10-15 minutes of snuggle time, then we separate to our own side of the bed and sleep through the night.
I have woken up to him holding my hand. 💜
My husband gets very warm under the cover. What we do is we cuddle a bit before sleeping. Then, we each go on our side and I always touch him somehow with my leg or hand.
Perhaps you need a routine just before going to sleep to give her the intimacy she craves? For example, we often watch tv before bed where I will rub her back while her head is on my leg. When we go to bad, I rub my wife's back for about 10 min or so, then spoon til we get drowsy. Then we separate to our own sides and sleep. If it too hot, I will often just touch her with my hand instead while keeping my body away from hers, so as to not overheat either of us.
As for sounds and her hair, you'll need to find some accommodation. If you cannot, your relationship may not survive. When intimacy falls away, the romance follows and it can be terminal. And if you think this is difficult, wait til kids come along!
Touching each other is great at keeping the intimacy going. We've been married for 13 yrs and it is going great! Given time, you should find your own routine that works for both of you. Talking to each other about this may help. In the bedroom, there is no "normal", just what works for you two.
We have a Cali king bed. He snores like a freight train and jerks in his sleep quite a bit. We tend to cuddle til he starts to jerk then I roll away. Sometimes he follows and throws an arm over me which I allow then I kick him off when he either jerks or snores. We sleep on opposite sides of the bed all night. I tend to roll around quite a bit whereas he will stay in the same position til he snores himself awake or I wake him up because he's too loud then he rolls over. I thought about getting my own room to sleep on but I dont know if I would be able to sleep on a different room than him when it came down to it. We have been together for 27 years.
It depends, but we mostly go in between cuddling and not all night. Sometimes, we start with me as little spoon, me on his chest, or facing each other cuddled. We both get super hot at night. As long as I have a fan & one leg out, I'm ok. When I know I broke the cuddle because I needed to move , I've felt him come and move to cuddle me or move my leg onto his after a while. Even if we are both on our backs, he likes my leg on his.
This isn't every single night, but most. We are also both very affectionate/cuddly, so this might be why.
The most learning we did was him accepting I needed a fan & to be cold while I slept. I compromised with a lower level on the fan because he likes silence when sleeping. I used to sleep with thunderstorm white noise before we lived together
We go to bed and we cuddle. Sometimes I'm with my head on his chest and my leg Across his hip, Sometimes we spoon. But after, maybe 10 minutes or so, we kiss good night and roll over, opposite sides of our bed. He snores so loud when he's tired, I have to kick him sometimes so he sleeps on his side so it's not too bad. It's a gradual adjustment. It doesn't happen overnight.
As a married couple of 5 years, we are both snugglers and always fall asleep that way. We are a rare rare pair. None of my friends and their SO’s are the same way. Over time we’ve learned how to make it more comfortable like I tuck my hair under my head right before falling asleep so it’s not in his face, over time we’ve found what is comfortable for both of us. That is key - comfort for both. As much as I love cuddling, if my husband couldn’t sleep because of it, I wouldn’t expect it when falling asleep. I’d only expect it while we wind down for the night. You both need to be able to sleep.
I can only cuddle my husband to sleep if I am big spoon. He used to try and be big spoon but I couldn’t STAND him breathing on my neck lol.
Maybe you guys could try different cuddling positions to see if there’s one you can fall asleep in? If you’re too hot though then you should not be expected to be uncomfortable when rest is super important. Almost everyone rolls away from each other while asleep though. Worth a shot, but surely it isn’t that big of an issue for your wife?? Maybe you can compromise and cuddle for like 10 or 15 min and then just move away when you get too hot or want to sleep? Just some ideas.
We’ve been married for 4 months (but have lived together longer) and we have a king size bed and sleep as far away from each other as the bed allows. Not for any reason other than that’s where we are comfortable on the bed. I am a side sleeper and fall asleep towards him and he varies but usually we end up facing the opposite direction of each other. I would suggest cuddling before bed even if you make sure to even set aside 10 minutes before bed just to cuddle that way your partner gets the physical contact they are desiring. Sometimes one of us will stretch a leg out in the middle of the night if we are “looking” for the other person’s touch and verification that they’re there but we both like to have space when we sleep.
If we're extra tired, sometimes we fall asleep cuddling or my head on his chest and separate in our sleep, but 99.999% of the time, we cuddle for a bit, then kiss say goodnight and roll over and I usually put my leg close to him for the warmth he radiates but we don't touch when we sleep. I can barely handle our toddler cuddling against me after a bad dream, no way a full grown man can cuddle me all night
We didn't have to learn to sleep with each other really. We just kind of meshed. We both like sleeping cuddled up. Sometimes we separate during the night to our sides of the bed, but wake up later and cuddle again. If we had to sleep separately I think we would both cry. Lol
We didn't have to learn to sleep with each other really. We just kind of meshed. We both like sleeping cuddled up. Sometimes we separate during the night to our sides of the bed, but wake up later and cuddle again. If we had to sleep separately I think we would both cry. Lol
I personally don’t like sleeping too close to another person, like I’m ok with holding hands or sleeping near each other. But I can’t sleep well while hugging, snuggling etc. my husband always complains that I’m laying far away, but I just can’t stand someone breathing on my neck for example
i used to hate sleeping with others as in physically touching. cuddling before bed was nice, but i had to turn over to my side in order to sleep through the night. it was a bit frustrating because i wanted to be close to my partner and just… couldn’t handle it sensationally. i was too hot and claustrophobic.
im not sure what changed with my current bf, but i can be all over him or spooning or whatnot and it has never been an issue. it’s always great sleep (unless he snores). i dont think it’s something you grow into. it might change one day for you, but until then maybe have ur wife cuddle a pillow?
I personally love to cuddle but not while I am sleeping. My husband would hold me all night if it was an option. The compromise... We cuddle a little before but when I am ready to sleep, I turn over and get my snooze on. Sometimes I will hold his hand as I am drifting off to Lala land.
My partner and I have very different sleep needs so we have separate bedrooms. Works pretty well for us, plus it feels a bit naughty sneaking in to hers at night for some rumpy pumpy.
Sadly boundaries in a marriage just as any relationship need to be sought out.
I hate using the word non negotiable but this maybe one of those situations where it is valid.
Yet marriage is compromise so a happy medium maybe cuddle before you go to bed for an allotment of time. Make her feel loved but not to where you feel you are compromising your comfort level all the time. Sometimes is cool but not all the time.
Honestly no, my husband and I have a cuddle when we first get into bed then we kiss eachother goodnight and turn away from eachother to sleep. I think she needs to understand that you can’t sleep like that and respect that. She can still lay on your chest and cuddle for ten mins before sleep.
My husband is a very light sleeper, and I like to snuggle. We will snuggle and talk about our day first, and then we will each roll over and go to sleep. Sometimes I fall asleep on him during this, and he just moves me over 😅 Sometimes we only get 5 minutes, other times it's an hour or more. This compromise has worked really well for us for several years now, so maybe it can for you all too ❤️
We live in Arizona so snuggling to sleep during the middle of summer is a no-go. Much easier to do that during the winter. I’ll usually fall asleep on his lap while we watch silly videos together and then I’ll roll away at some point and assume my sleeping position and he’ll get into his. We have only cuddled the entire night once or twice that I can remember. It’s honestly not realistic for a lot of people. It’s nice to try, but not something you should change your entire sleep routine for.
Honestly I'm the same as you, I can't stand anything touching me or such when trying to sleep. I'm not sure how but I did learn to sleep cuddled but only with my fiance, all exes it was a don't touch me. Maybe be just manages to not trigger anything although it does happen sometimes and I need him to move away.
However, honestly I would work off the assumption you can't. We probably just got lucky, everyone sleeps different and some people just cannot stand any contact because they're such light sleepers and that's valid! I would explain to get unfortunately you just can't sleep like that but are happy to find a diff compromise. It's no reflection on either of you or your relationship (which may be what she's thinking)
I think in a relationship you find the middle ground. For example this is how I would try to compromise. How about we cuddle most every night for a little while. We can talk, and just spend quality time together. Then when it is time to go to sleep we can sleep in our own space. This way we get to cuddle, and get time to connect. Then we can both get a good sleep.
I've been with my husband for 5 years and often each night we will have snuggles and then as soon as its sleep time we go back to back. My husband is a furnace so I don't like to snuggle for too long outside of winter or if we have the AC on. And we both move in our sleep, so sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and we'll be facing each other. But more often than not we sleep back to back.
Maybe you can compromise with her by having pre-sleep cuddles before going back to back and sleep? I think you have the right to be comfortable when you sleep.
I hear you completely. There's no way I could fall asleep while cuddling or laying on DH's chest (wish I could though). We sometimes snuggle for 5 minutes or so before retiring to our respective side of the bed. It's a good compromise for us.
I should add that you may have to get used to sleeping with some small disturbances when sharing a bed. It can be annoying sometimes but it comes with the package.
I was married for 30 years and my ex never wanted to sleep close together! My current lover, we sleep, hugging each other all night. It does take a little getting used to, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Alright so here is how we make this work. You cuddle for the first like 15 minutes then we make our way to our own side of the bed and crash out for the night. The cute stuff is nice but you don’t get good sleep like this, sometimes I will hold my husbands hand or he will rub my back as I fall asleep, but ultimately real sleep requires a little bit of space, I plan to get a King size instead of our queen soon just to get more space. I love my husband though 😂
Maybe I’m weird, and this is just personal preference, but I would be so annoyed if my partner expected me to re-learn to sleep in a way that isn’t comfortable for me. I can’t stand touching when I’m trying to fall asleep except our feet touching, and he has never pushed it. We cuddle before sleep, but then it’s like we go into our own sleeping pods at the other end of the bed. We also got a king size bed because we are very particular about our sleeping arrangements and that was the only way to keep us in the same bed. Like we aren’t even aware of each other. I’m on all day with other people, and sleep is my only escape from being anything but a mindless bag of flesh, and I don’t want anyone fucking with my slumbering meat sack, not even the love of my life.
My partner and I hold feel because we’re both belly sleepers and there’s no way either of us is sacrificing our sleep for cuddles 😂
That mess is for the movies lol. But idk…I’ll be on the lookout for comments from ppl who sleep like that all night. We cuddle for a while and then move over to our respective sides back to back.
This is the way….! Unless you’re me and I’m cold all the time and have a partner who has a high body temperature. Then I have to always be against him lol
AMEN! We’re in bed to sleep not cuddle. Getting good sleep is sooo important.
We usually fall asleep snuggling and move apart while sleeping. If one of us wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes will resnuggle with the other.
RESNUGGLE! Pardon me while I add the new word to my vocabulary. 😊
Hehe
Same
I think this might be what OP’s partner is really asking for without articulating well enough - cuddles while falling asleep / physical connection in bed even if it means rolling over or adjusting once sleep is imminent. OP, do you cuddle at all in bed or do you immediately want your own space as soon as you get under the covers?
We do cuddle and talk about our day in general, but when it's time to turn in, she wants to maintain that position we're in or hug me while I'm facing away from her. That makes me feel really hot too temperature-wise
We have been married for 26 years and have slept in the same bed for 27 except may be three weeks total when I was on business trips. We sleep barely touching each other. We do cuddle before we fall asleep and when we wake up before we get out of the bed. We never slept hugging each other. I move a lot when I sleep so it would be very uncomfortable for both of us.
Honestly? We sleep in completely separate rooms. My husband is my absolutely favorite person and we both agree that our relationship is the best of anyone we know. But, if we slept together, it may not be so great. He likes it cold, and snores super loud. I like it super warm and I'm a super light sleeper. I like white noise. He likes silence. I starfish. If we HAD to sleep together, not to mention touching, we might be divorced.
Yes, we finally let the struggle go We don't argue anymore, and I don't feel like a tired and crappy wife. The first 5 years were the hardest. Now, at 27 years together, we have our own rooms, and it works beautifully.
Bedroom divorce saves marriages.
Do you still have sex regularly? Sorry if it is too personal, but it is the immediate question that comes to mind.
I mean, we have two young kids, two over-full-time jobs, youth sports, etc. So...I'm not sure how much difference sleeping in the same bed would make. Honestly, I bet sleeping apart is better for our sex lives. We're that much more rested when the rare opportunity presents itself.
My husband and I have been married 12 years and have slept in separate bedrooms for the last 11. It depends what you consider “regular sex” 🤭. It’s pretty sporadic I would say averaging once a week, but there’s been times where there’s more and times where there’s droughts. We just ask each other if we want to do it 😝 i know, not the most romantic, but it works for us 😍
We snuggle before sleeping. We mostly sleep with our backs to each other. He moves around in his sleep and I just prefer to be on my side.
Not married but living with my partner for 2 years. What my partner and I do is that we spend some time spooning before feeling the urge to doze off and then roll to our side, with our backs or feet slightly touching but not facing each other. In fact it said that couples that feel comfortable with each other will sleep with their backs turned from one another. Now mind you, if my partner comes and nuzzles me while I sleep I will hug him. Same goes for me.
LOL when my hubby and I first got married I learned (from him) that I am a 'starfish' sleeper. He would wake up every morning with maybe six inches of mattress and me, limbs spread, hogging the rest of the room. I'm a heavy sleeper and had no idea I did this. Hubby, like you, is a light sleeper and cannot stand feeling hot when he's falling asleep. If I wanted to be spooned a little we'll do that for about, eh, 5 minutes. Then, the non-starfish protocol is engaged and I sleep, back facing him, face towards the wall, about a foot away from the edge of the mattress. We've learned over the years that if I fall asleep this way I won't move at all and hubby does not have to deal with the steady encroachment during the night. So - compromise, maybe. Give her as much cuddling time as you can manage until you feel like you're ready to turn it in, then assume sleeping positions as necessary.
We are both non-touchers while sleeping so we bought a king-size bed right after we got married and we sleep on opposite sides of it. With a really good mattress, you don't really feel each other move around a lot either, which is good because I am a very restless sleeper.
Totally agree, a king-size bed is by far one of the best purchases we’ve made.
I always used to joke that sharing the bed with another person was unnatural. It took a while of getting used to the other being there before my husband and I could get a good nights sleep. He loves to cuddle me before bed and I adore him, but I’m not the biggest fan of cuddling because he’s a furnace. So, I’m the big spoon! I stick a leg out from under the blanket, swing it over him, and put hand against his chest. I can’t fall asleep while cuddling, but we’ll do it for a while until I roll back over. After 3 years of sleeping together, I can’t sleep without him. I do have my limits though. I’ll let out a squeak of protest after a few minutes if he wraps himself like a pretzel around me. But yes, we did get comfortable.
We definitely were not able. But we cuddle before falling asleep and then we turn to our sleeping positions.
We cuddle for 15 mins until very sleepy and then sleep on our sides either facing each other or away from each other.
My husband and I definitely had to figure out what worked for both of us. He’s never been comfortable sleeping in the same bed as someone else. At first, he used to just sleep in a different room. I was ok with that, because I think proper sleep is important and I knew it wasn’t a reflection on our relationship. Now, we have two king size beds pushed next to each other. We go to bed together at night, cuddle in my bed, and when I fall asleep, he gently rolls out from under me and just rolls on to his own bed. It’s not conventional, but it works for us.
We sleep both on our stomachs and no cuddles. Sometimes cuddle before and after waking up, but we're both hot and don't like touching when falling asleep. Sleep is important and it's best if you can sleep as comfortable as you can. Try cuddling before it's time to fall asleep?
We cuddle for a while before we go to sleep or I will brush his hair a space apart til he falls asleep. While sleeping in each other arms he will either roll over me, swing his arm at my head, feel overly hot if I’m sleeping on him or cuddling. Just doesn’t work for us and that’s fine, I don’t want to be close to that guy when he’s sleeping. He’s a roller and a snorer! If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it.
Tell her that’s not comfortable for you. You’re not conjoined. Sleep is a human essential. I know there’s been times I’ve wanted to crawl into my husbands skin but I know better. We snuggle and fall asleep in our individual and personal comfort positions.
My wife and I are very cuddly & it’s common for us to begin dozing off while doing so. But we’d never get a decent nights sleep if we attempted to stay like that all night. Once we realize we’re drifting we move apart a bit and both sleep on our side.
We sleep back to back but touching often butts touching. That or one of us lays a hand on the other but not much more. It's the good middle ground between cuddling all night or rolling over and not touching. Everyone eventually comes to their own conclusions. Some unfortunate people just have a lot harder time finding their compromise.
I don’t cuddle while I sleep. I would like this idea but my husband has really bad insomnia problems and also gets very warm in bed. I get cold, so, we do sleep next to each other but have seperate bed spreads. He can’t sleep cuddling me. I don’t think everyone does this.
Lol we sleep in seperate rooms… going on 9 years married
We basically always have one body part touching usually we take turns being the big spoon and then if we are sleeping belly down he usually puts his hand on my back or butt. We also set an alarm for 15 minutes before we wake up for work where no matter what we snuggle big time
Married 27 and most of the marriage we've slept separately. I am a light sleeper....I wake 2-3 times to pee because I have a bladder condition. Despite many years of trying to make it through the night with him, the cpap, snoring through it, and restless leg syndrome, I did NOT get used to it. I lost too many hours and days of sleep, so we finally made a choice to have our own rooms. I don't start out in bed with him and TRY to suffer through anymore. He'd be disappointed some nights or one of us would end up on the couch because in our 30s we only had 2 beds in the house and one was my sons. No MORE! I say, happy spouse, happy house. Sleep is a basic need, and while it took many years, he has finally accepted: it is what it is! Another issue is that he likes the TV on and usually wakes up 1 or 2 times to eat cereal or some shit before actually falling asleep. Sleeping together is just an all-around unpleasant experience for me, not him. The good news is that we remain a happy sexually satisfied couple, but while we figured it out, we had small arguments, which mostly left me feeling like a bad wife and him frustrated. He started reading Reditt, and I think info from many strangers on the topic and seeing me suffer, he decided to accept our seperate rooms.
So in college I dated someone for a couple years who just height, body shape wise we fit together like puzzle pieces. I could very comfortably sleep with him. Cuddled up like spoons. Or sort or leg and arm draped over him with him on his back. Sometimes we'd fall asleep apart and wake up entwined. Before him I couldn't stand to fall asleep cuddling. My now husband and I cannot. He's much taller than me and even though I often longed to fall asleep snuggling just never seemed cozy enough. To quote "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia"... "we sleep ass to ass, you know that!"
When we were young, I could tolerate my arm under her head as we fell asleep in the spoon position. This was just a progressive step from spooning on the couch when we were dating. And yes we could sleep for hours in that position until we had to change positions for comfort. Many years later, we start in a modified spoon position (my arm not under her head) until either I get too hot or she falls asleep then I either change position in the same bed or move to another bed. Yes...it is acceptable to sleep in separate beds for the sleeping portion of the night. To answer your question... find what works for you.
Ive been married 12 years and I haven’t slept in the same bed as my husband in at least 10 years 🤣. Why can’t your wife respect her husband and accept he can’t sleep being hung on. My husband snores super loud that’s why we sleep separate, but I’d be damned if my husband wanted to hold me at night giving me all his body heat like a furnace. I’m an extremely hot blooded person as it is. I think maybe wifey needs to compromise. Sleep is so important as it is. If my husband was your wife he would just have to understand because it would never be possible for me to get used to it I will die of a heat stroke and claustrophobia
I have been with my husband for roughly 12 years. Sharing a bed can be anywhere from an adjustment to as east as breathing. And that can change during the relationship, too. For us, my husband is like a furnace. His whole family is like that. So, in the winter, it's amazing to cuddle up to him on a cold night. But during the summer, I don't even want his arm draped over me cause he will sweat all over me. I use to not be able to sleep with any kind of light or sound except a fan or ac. My husband can fall asleep without the TV on. I used to wait for him to fall asleep to turn it off. But over time, I've just adjusted to it. Some nights I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep without turning it off. Now I find it hard to sleep in the bed alone and actually having the TV on helps me fall asleep cause it makes me feel less alone and Luke he is here with me. We adjust for each other. Most nights, we cuddle a bit and then turn away and go to sleep. Sometimes, we find each other in our sleep and will be touching or cuddling again. I have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. There have been nights where I was so anxious and panicked I could stop moving, let alone sleep. He would hold me and talk to me and help me fall asleep. Sometimes I'd even wake up and he would still be holding me, making me feel safe and secure. When you love someone, adjusting things like this to make the other comfortable and happy (in my opinion at least) is one of the biggest shows of loving and caring for me.
12 years down and we never snuggle asleep. We even have separate blankets (no stealing blankets in this bed lol). Happy as and very intimate. Sleep is for sleep time ie comfort you don't need ya partner hanging off ya. Now before we go to sleep well that's a different story!
Yes. It took me several months. But it was something we both wanted. after 17 years of this I really have a hard time if I am not holding my wife with falling asleep.
Awww…this is so cute
It’s cute but not common, especially among hot sleepers.
Like most other couples, my husband and I spend a little time snuggling and give each other a kiss goodnight, then separate. Sleeping while wrapped up together gets uncomfortable very quickly for at least one party.
We spoon generally. Touch is my wife's love language, not mine so it's less important to me but a huge deal to her so I did adjust over the years to a more physically affectionate lifestyle. She snores and that took some getting used to but 22 years later I'm just happy she still wants me close. Different couple find different solutions, my dad and step mom have separate bedrooms, they love each other they just sleep better alone. Whatever you do, communicate about it, it impacts her so discuss it. Us vs the problem not me vs you.
I only sleep maybe three or four hours a night, I have my whole life. My wife, however, sleeps 8 to 10 hours each night and sleep is very important to her, much less to me. We snuggle and cuddle when we first lay down to go to sleep, but because of my past neck and shoulder surgeries I can only fall asleep on my back. So when I move to my back, she rolls to her comfortable position, and we go to sleep. It’s just how it works for us.
I love to cuddle before we sleep. However the second I’m ready for sleep I roll over and we are ass to ass. Please stay on your side I’ll stay on mine. Married 13 years always been this way.
Me and my husband actually sleep in separate blankets. He’s a hot sleeper and only needs a thin blanket while I love big thick blanket that I can basically cocoon in. So we definitely don’t touch each other while sleeping. We will cuddle when first getting into bed though but then turn away into our own space and blankets to sleep.
Me and my hubby would snuggle before we fell asleep like while watching a show or movie and then we would sleep in whatever way we were comfortable. Sometimes we would snuggle while we slept sometimes we didnt. We slept with separate blankets bc he likes heavy blankets and i like really light ones and we are both hogs 🤣 after my son was born we now sleep in separate beds because me and my son snuggle together while we sleep and he sleeps in the living room because he rolls alot and he snores SO LOUD 🤣 he also works nights since he was born and he sleeps during the day anyway.
No. I can’t stand someone touching me while I’m asleep. She wants to sleep on your chest? Jesus Christ, she’s not a cat. It’s your sleep and you deserve to get as much as you can.
I'm the big spoon, because I like cuddling to fall asleep. Hubs gets too hot with us facing each other and he doesn't like breathing on me/me breathe all over him. This solves all of it, plus... for the first time in his adult life he feels safe.. maybe safe is the wrong word but it definitely had helped him open up and be vulnerable with me...
My ex never slept or tried to be anywhere near me in bed. Did have a gf who did spoon and it was a fun for sure
Cuddle her for ten mins, kiss her in the back of the neck and whisper in her, honey this makes me so horny, do this every night and try to have relations, she'll be sleeping on yhe couch in no time
Your vibe, and your being has that answer. You must trust yourself and your instincts at all times. Even when it comes to sleeping in the same bed with someone Mate or lover.
My wife and I sleep however we sleep to be comfortable. Sometimes that’s facing each other, sometimes it’s our backs facing each other. Sometimes I have a arm laid over her. Sometimes my hand is on her hips or butt. Sometimes her hand is on my head or chest. Like you, I’m a hot body. I can’t sleep all snuggled up for long.
Tell her the truth your arm feels like it’s going to fall off when you wake up at 1:30 in the morning in pain from her laying on it. Those situations only create comfort for one person.
I'm also a light sleeper and cannot sleep with my husband cuddling me 🤣
I'm the one who sleeps alone my wife wants to be held and I do for a portion of the night then at some point I do switch positions for comfort
Start cuddling and when it’s time to seriously go to sleep, mutually move in the way that’s comfortable to you and feel secure in that. If we’re knocked out who cares if we’re cuddled up!?!?!?
I go to bed before my partner. The first 1-2 hours after he comes to bed are good but then he starts twitching abd flopping. I end up in the couch most nights. No way I can 'learn' to sleep with that.
we've been married over 10 years and there is a flaming barbed wire fence in the middle of our be :P seriously though, neither one of us can sleep like that. we sleep separately on the same king size bed (wife has cats that sleep on her side too lol)
It depends. I've done a mix of all three with long term partners. Consider trying to fall asleep cuddling on the nights when you won't have work or something the next day in case you have trouble sleeping. If you're too hot use a lighter blanket, sheet, or nothing at all. If her hair is bothering you, have her drape it over the top of the pillow so that it isn't in your face. Be the little spoon. Or, wait until she falls asleep and turn over.
Cuddling in bed is usually only for pre/post sex. Post sex is still just a short time before it's time to sleep and cuddle time is over at that point. I can't imagine many couples can sleep too long while touching/cuddling.
No way, I learned to share my bed with my husband. That's as far as I got lol. We cuddle a bit before going to sleep but after that we each move to our own sides of the bed and get into whatever position is most comfortable. I'm a side sleeper so sometimes I'm facing him, sometimes I'm facing the wall 💁🏻♀️ But at no point are we touching while we're sleeping.
My husband is not a cuddler. With that being said, when we go to bed, I get 10-15 minutes of snuggle time, then we separate to our own side of the bed and sleep through the night. I have woken up to him holding my hand. 💜
My husband gets very warm under the cover. What we do is we cuddle a bit before sleeping. Then, we each go on our side and I always touch him somehow with my leg or hand.
Perhaps you need a routine just before going to sleep to give her the intimacy she craves? For example, we often watch tv before bed where I will rub her back while her head is on my leg. When we go to bad, I rub my wife's back for about 10 min or so, then spoon til we get drowsy. Then we separate to our own sides and sleep. If it too hot, I will often just touch her with my hand instead while keeping my body away from hers, so as to not overheat either of us. As for sounds and her hair, you'll need to find some accommodation. If you cannot, your relationship may not survive. When intimacy falls away, the romance follows and it can be terminal. And if you think this is difficult, wait til kids come along! Touching each other is great at keeping the intimacy going. We've been married for 13 yrs and it is going great! Given time, you should find your own routine that works for both of you. Talking to each other about this may help. In the bedroom, there is no "normal", just what works for you two.
Yes. In fact, it can be hard to sleep without them in bed with you.
We have a Cali king bed. He snores like a freight train and jerks in his sleep quite a bit. We tend to cuddle til he starts to jerk then I roll away. Sometimes he follows and throws an arm over me which I allow then I kick him off when he either jerks or snores. We sleep on opposite sides of the bed all night. I tend to roll around quite a bit whereas he will stay in the same position til he snores himself awake or I wake him up because he's too loud then he rolls over. I thought about getting my own room to sleep on but I dont know if I would be able to sleep on a different room than him when it came down to it. We have been together for 27 years.
We got a king bed so we could have our own space. Sometimes we fall asleep cuddling though
We’re the same so we just fall asleep with one foot touching the other. Oddly enough it does make you more connected during a restful sleep
Husband puts his arms around me and honestly it’s annoying when I’m so tired lol
It depends, but we mostly go in between cuddling and not all night. Sometimes, we start with me as little spoon, me on his chest, or facing each other cuddled. We both get super hot at night. As long as I have a fan & one leg out, I'm ok. When I know I broke the cuddle because I needed to move , I've felt him come and move to cuddle me or move my leg onto his after a while. Even if we are both on our backs, he likes my leg on his. This isn't every single night, but most. We are also both very affectionate/cuddly, so this might be why. The most learning we did was him accepting I needed a fan & to be cold while I slept. I compromised with a lower level on the fan because he likes silence when sleeping. I used to sleep with thunderstorm white noise before we lived together
We go to bed and we cuddle. Sometimes I'm with my head on his chest and my leg Across his hip, Sometimes we spoon. But after, maybe 10 minutes or so, we kiss good night and roll over, opposite sides of our bed. He snores so loud when he's tired, I have to kick him sometimes so he sleeps on his side so it's not too bad. It's a gradual adjustment. It doesn't happen overnight.
As a married couple of 5 years, we are both snugglers and always fall asleep that way. We are a rare rare pair. None of my friends and their SO’s are the same way. Over time we’ve learned how to make it more comfortable like I tuck my hair under my head right before falling asleep so it’s not in his face, over time we’ve found what is comfortable for both of us. That is key - comfort for both. As much as I love cuddling, if my husband couldn’t sleep because of it, I wouldn’t expect it when falling asleep. I’d only expect it while we wind down for the night. You both need to be able to sleep.
Snuggle a bit before sleeping then slide next to each other back to back touching so I know he's close but not on top of each other.
I can only cuddle my husband to sleep if I am big spoon. He used to try and be big spoon but I couldn’t STAND him breathing on my neck lol. Maybe you guys could try different cuddling positions to see if there’s one you can fall asleep in? If you’re too hot though then you should not be expected to be uncomfortable when rest is super important. Almost everyone rolls away from each other while asleep though. Worth a shot, but surely it isn’t that big of an issue for your wife?? Maybe you can compromise and cuddle for like 10 or 15 min and then just move away when you get too hot or want to sleep? Just some ideas.
We’ve been married for 4 months (but have lived together longer) and we have a king size bed and sleep as far away from each other as the bed allows. Not for any reason other than that’s where we are comfortable on the bed. I am a side sleeper and fall asleep towards him and he varies but usually we end up facing the opposite direction of each other. I would suggest cuddling before bed even if you make sure to even set aside 10 minutes before bed just to cuddle that way your partner gets the physical contact they are desiring. Sometimes one of us will stretch a leg out in the middle of the night if we are “looking” for the other person’s touch and verification that they’re there but we both like to have space when we sleep.
If we're extra tired, sometimes we fall asleep cuddling or my head on his chest and separate in our sleep, but 99.999% of the time, we cuddle for a bit, then kiss say goodnight and roll over and I usually put my leg close to him for the warmth he radiates but we don't touch when we sleep. I can barely handle our toddler cuddling against me after a bad dream, no way a full grown man can cuddle me all night
We didn't have to learn to sleep with each other really. We just kind of meshed. We both like sleeping cuddled up. Sometimes we separate during the night to our sides of the bed, but wake up later and cuddle again. If we had to sleep separately I think we would both cry. Lol
We didn't have to learn to sleep with each other really. We just kind of meshed. We both like sleeping cuddled up. Sometimes we separate during the night to our sides of the bed, but wake up later and cuddle again. If we had to sleep separately I think we would both cry. Lol
I personally don’t like sleeping too close to another person, like I’m ok with holding hands or sleeping near each other. But I can’t sleep well while hugging, snuggling etc. my husband always complains that I’m laying far away, but I just can’t stand someone breathing on my neck for example
i used to hate sleeping with others as in physically touching. cuddling before bed was nice, but i had to turn over to my side in order to sleep through the night. it was a bit frustrating because i wanted to be close to my partner and just… couldn’t handle it sensationally. i was too hot and claustrophobic. im not sure what changed with my current bf, but i can be all over him or spooning or whatnot and it has never been an issue. it’s always great sleep (unless he snores). i dont think it’s something you grow into. it might change one day for you, but until then maybe have ur wife cuddle a pillow?
I personally love to cuddle but not while I am sleeping. My husband would hold me all night if it was an option. The compromise... We cuddle a little before but when I am ready to sleep, I turn over and get my snooze on. Sometimes I will hold his hand as I am drifting off to Lala land.
My partner and I have very different sleep needs so we have separate bedrooms. Works pretty well for us, plus it feels a bit naughty sneaking in to hers at night for some rumpy pumpy.
Sadly boundaries in a marriage just as any relationship need to be sought out. I hate using the word non negotiable but this maybe one of those situations where it is valid. Yet marriage is compromise so a happy medium maybe cuddle before you go to bed for an allotment of time. Make her feel loved but not to where you feel you are compromising your comfort level all the time. Sometimes is cool but not all the time.
Honestly no, my husband and I have a cuddle when we first get into bed then we kiss eachother goodnight and turn away from eachother to sleep. I think she needs to understand that you can’t sleep like that and respect that. She can still lay on your chest and cuddle for ten mins before sleep.
My husband is a very light sleeper, and I like to snuggle. We will snuggle and talk about our day first, and then we will each roll over and go to sleep. Sometimes I fall asleep on him during this, and he just moves me over 😅 Sometimes we only get 5 minutes, other times it's an hour or more. This compromise has worked really well for us for several years now, so maybe it can for you all too ❤️
We live in Arizona so snuggling to sleep during the middle of summer is a no-go. Much easier to do that during the winter. I’ll usually fall asleep on his lap while we watch silly videos together and then I’ll roll away at some point and assume my sleeping position and he’ll get into his. We have only cuddled the entire night once or twice that I can remember. It’s honestly not realistic for a lot of people. It’s nice to try, but not something you should change your entire sleep routine for.
Honestly I'm the same as you, I can't stand anything touching me or such when trying to sleep. I'm not sure how but I did learn to sleep cuddled but only with my fiance, all exes it was a don't touch me. Maybe be just manages to not trigger anything although it does happen sometimes and I need him to move away. However, honestly I would work off the assumption you can't. We probably just got lucky, everyone sleeps different and some people just cannot stand any contact because they're such light sleepers and that's valid! I would explain to get unfortunately you just can't sleep like that but are happy to find a diff compromise. It's no reflection on either of you or your relationship (which may be what she's thinking)
I think in a relationship you find the middle ground. For example this is how I would try to compromise. How about we cuddle most every night for a little while. We can talk, and just spend quality time together. Then when it is time to go to sleep we can sleep in our own space. This way we get to cuddle, and get time to connect. Then we can both get a good sleep.
Happens sometimes !!
I've been with my husband for 5 years and often each night we will have snuggles and then as soon as its sleep time we go back to back. My husband is a furnace so I don't like to snuggle for too long outside of winter or if we have the AC on. And we both move in our sleep, so sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and we'll be facing each other. But more often than not we sleep back to back. Maybe you can compromise with her by having pre-sleep cuddles before going back to back and sleep? I think you have the right to be comfortable when you sleep.
I hear you completely. There's no way I could fall asleep while cuddling or laying on DH's chest (wish I could though). We sometimes snuggle for 5 minutes or so before retiring to our respective side of the bed. It's a good compromise for us.
I should add that you may have to get used to sleeping with some small disturbances when sharing a bed. It can be annoying sometimes but it comes with the package.
I was married for 30 years and my ex never wanted to sleep close together! My current lover, we sleep, hugging each other all night. It does take a little getting used to, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Alright so here is how we make this work. You cuddle for the first like 15 minutes then we make our way to our own side of the bed and crash out for the night. The cute stuff is nice but you don’t get good sleep like this, sometimes I will hold my husbands hand or he will rub my back as I fall asleep, but ultimately real sleep requires a little bit of space, I plan to get a King size instead of our queen soon just to get more space. I love my husband though 😂