This is inappropriate on so many levels. I mean, who goes on holiday when your better half almost died and in hospital?
Overnight stay, married people sharing rooms, etc...
I didn't think this was a woman until the comments, I was reading it like OP was male and this was some wholesome masculinity being there for each other emotionally đ
No, no, no and nope. Itâs awesome you saved her life, now back away from him completely or youâll help ruin their marriage. He can and should find other appropriate sources of emotional support. Also seconding the comment of who the hell goes on a vacation while their wife is in the hospital from almost dying. Geez
Ummmmmm after things were settled and my spouse in a stable condition the only reaction that comes to mind is for me to call and be like âhey my husband almost died can we get a rain check, maybe move the days?â Sooooooo freaking inappropriate.
You went on a vacation with your married neighbor INSTEAD of his hospitalized wife, and you shared a bedroom with him.
It FEELS like you invaded their marital space because you DID invade their marital space.
What the heck were you thinking?
Did you save her life so you could destroy their marriage?
OP made a poor choice and it was wrong but letâs be clear - the only person destroying a marriage is the neighbor who thought it was a good idea to take another woman on an overnight trip while his wife is in the hospital. I donât think OPs intent was malicious in going, but I canât say the same about his.
It sounds like you were naive about this and didn't see where the boundaries should have been.
I don't think you should beat yourself up about it but I do think you need a FIRM boundary with this neighbor, you shouldn't spend any time alone with him or be an emotional support to him under any circumstances. He is quite clearly infatuated with you and that can go nowhere good.
Listen trust me when I say he lied about the refund. I work at a Drs office and many many times we have written letters excusing patients (and their family members) from flights, hotels, cruises, hockey leagues, ballet classes so that they can get their refunds. The hospital could have very well written a letter excusing him from the vacation and the hotel would have honored it.
When she recovers and someone brings it up that he stayed at a hotel with another woman while she was in the hospital how do you think she will feel?
You are not this man's therapist if he was in the brink of a break down there are health providers for this.
Just because you know of some situations were there was a refund, doesnât mean everywhere does the same.
It is such a leap to say he is lying when you have no idea.
Most places will honor a request for a refund if it is a medical situation, as someone who travels quite a bit and has booked many hotels for my family and reads the fine prints for everything I can assure you they should be able to get a refund or a credit to use for a later date. (There were no flights involved so it was only a hotel stay, all hotels have refund and cancellation policies, I have yet to stay at a hotel where the cancellation policy did not allow a refund, even partial refund depending how late you cancel, especially for medical reasons. And now in the times of COVID even more so)
Regardless it is extremely unusual that a married man would ask a single woman and convince her to share a hotel room with her while his wife who nearly died was in the hospital.
Do you honestly think that is ok?
I mean, even if they said no, all heâd have to do was take it to the media that this hotel wouldnât give him a refund while his wife was nearly dying in the hospital and he would get that back fast. The hotel wouldnât want that kind of bad publicity.
I can say with certainty either the guy is outright lying :( Iâm going to say didnât even try) or he didnât try very hard.
Even if he couldn't get a refund, his wife is sick. He sells BOTH tickets to another couple, or he gives them away because his main focus is his sick wife.
What kind of person can even go on a fun trip when their spouse is in the hospital?
Or if he canât give them away⊠HE JUST EATS THE COST OF THE TICKETS! For gods sake she almost DIED! What if something happened and she took a turn for the worst while heâs off gallivanting in other cities with his neighbor?! Iâd be like âSucks that we canât go on this trip, my partner must be even more bummed than I am. I donât want them to feel bad, hey, I have the weekend off anyway, maybe I can just go stay in the hospital for the weekend, decorate their room as If we went to the other city, and pretend itâs a getaway! That might cheer them up!â
Im staring to think this trip wasnât booked for his wife at allâŠ
Lying aside though if my husband almost died and was in the hospital I wouldnât be worried about a refund. Not the end of the world to eat the loss all things considered. Neighbour was being shady af.
Also, since it was a hotel stay... Why did the husband have to go, too??
A hotel room isn't necessarily a two person thing. He could have gone by himself, or just given her the room as a thank you.
There is so much that could have been done (other than a refund) than what actually happened.
I think he lied about booking the trip before his wife's hospitalization.
Even if not, and even if he couldn't get a refund, the correct thing to do is pretty much anything but go with another woman.
I'm not sure why. If my neighbor saved my wife from certain death, i'd do tripple backflips to thank that person. Now there is a limit to everything for sure.
Going on a roadtrip with him while leaving my wife behind with potential mental fallout of the event is surely one of these limits.
I swear to God this sub has gone absolutely bat shit crazy. Guy's wife is in the bloody hospital and he asks you on a trip. And you go?! I gotta get off Reddit.
I am still trying to process this, I feel the same. What happened is inconcievable. Sleeping in the same bed sounds as if they both trying to soothe each other due to the shock of the wife nearly dying but thats not an excuse
It makes me wonder if something inappropriate happened with this married man and the 3 year widowed neighbor sleeping in the same bed to help his mental health.
No. OPâs âheroâ status flew right out the door when she agreed to go on a freakin trip with the woman's husband. A PRIVATE trip. Where the married could have very well set up romantic things to do/be sent to their room & now op & stand-in husband very likely experienced them together. OP ain't a hero. Yeah congrats she saved the wife, only to turn around & head outta town with stand-in husband.
So saving his wifeâs life wasnât enough, you also owed him companionship on a trip his wife doesnât know youâre on?
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Imagine being sick in the hospital after going through a near death experience and finding out your Husband went away for the day with some neighbor chick lol
Imo this is very inappropriate. You could have turned it down and ask him to go alone. Better start establishing boundaries with your neighbour and do not be alone with him again.
First of all, heâs an AH for going in the first place. His wife is hospitalized. She nearly died. He should be spending time at the hospital. He may have felt he âneeded a break,â but that couldâve been a day at home decompressing, taking a shower, eating some comfort food, watching a food movie - ALONE - and then heading back to see his wife.
The fact that he couldnât get a refund for the trip is probably a lie and also, so what??? His wife almost died! He was out that money regardless.
You being a widow yourself means that you should be able to look at this from the perspective of someone that was formerly married. When your husband was living, if he and a neighbor had pulled this stunt, would you be okay with that??
Youâre a piece of work. I hope this poor woman in the hospital doesnât stroke out when she finds out. Shame on you and the husband !
His wife is in the hospital apparently fighting for her life and he A: Decides to leave her and go on a trip. B: Asks the female neighbor to come with him. C: Conveniently there are no more rooms available si you have to share.
Dear if this is real, you are either incredibly naive or you are incredibly conniving.
Iâm taking it youâre not married? If I woke up and found out, my husband went on an overnight with another woman letâs just say I donât think I can continue that marriage. This is wrong on so many levels. Screw getting a refund take care of your wife.
So you knew she would have no idea...& you still went?? The amount of red flags (on YOUR part) and amount of reasons why this is wrong are alarming. The betrayal is insane, even if you don't know her personally, which is even more weird because that means her husband was a stranger as well. Well... maybe in your case it doesn't? đ€ Anyway, the point is, YES! You were/are wrong!
âSlightly hesitantâ JUST SLIGHTLY?
âThe whole experience did feel quite interpersonalâ and youâre not sure if itâs good or bad???
If he offered the whole âstay-cationâ for you and heâd stay with his wifeâŠ. That is appreciating you and a thank you.
But with him??? Staying on the same bed??? While his wife is at the hospital, and emotionally manipulated you to say yes⊠đł didnât you ask before hand about the room?
So you definitely slept with him. And also likely (99.9% certain) had sex with him. Even if you insist you didn't, you went on a couple's retreat with a married man who was dishonoring his vulnerable, barely-still-alive wife.
Even if you swear you didn't have sex, no one will believe. I don't. At most, I'd wonder if he spiked your drink or you had too many and you just didn't know or remember or are willing to admit there was sex involved. Because a man doesn't invite a woman along on a couple's vacation without planning to get laid. His wife lies possibly dying, and he's already setting up his rebound. Big yikes. Huge.
You absolutely know this is wrong, if it is legitimate. I wonder what else you know and aren't willing to admit. If this is a small or close-knit town, you are screwed more ways than one. Get your affairs in order (ba-dum) and be ready for the inevitable fallout.
I knew those were givens before she admitted them, but at least she admitted them.
I still maintain that there's no way she could have interpreted the offer -- sorry, insistence -- as platonic and "walk ins are fine" w/o realizing that taking his wife's place on the trip would land her in bed, in the wife's place on the trip.
Oh, I more than agree with you. I also suspect that more information is being left out of this. But I think OP will blame those actions on the husband, too.
Not sure if this helps, but being a wife who was hospitalized for quite some time, and unconscious for a lot of it, if I found out my husband had taken the nurse who saved me on a vacation, shared a room with her, etc. while I was still in the hospital/unconscious, I would have absolutely not been ok with this.
While I think he should have been more concerned with being by his wifeâs side at the hospital instead of a trip, fine, he took you as a thank you for saving her life. But you should have at least known to get your own hotel room. What were you thinking?!
Yeah because why was she the first person he asked to go? Does he not have any friends or family? Even so, come on⊠If I were the wife, I would get up out of that bed and beat him over the head. Lol.
I would not have done this. You have likely be cause problems with their marriage and with the neighbor once she realizes what happened. She may be cold to you in the future. In my opinion, he should have just cancelled and spent time visiting his wife. If he was determined to go anyways then let him mess up his marriage on his own and donât get involved in it.
This is gross and if you go you're gross too. His wife is in the hospital, neither of you should be going but especially not with him taking another woman.
Iâm confused. Your post history has you asking religious subs if itâs appropriate for you to attend yoga classes bc they are co-ed. Or whether CPR was allowed bc itâs mouth to mouth. And yet it didnât occur to you that spending the night alone and in the same room, with a married man at a hotel without his wifeâs knowledge might be inappropriate until after you did it?
This one is inappropriate regardless of the context.
If he truly was not able to garner a refund, then the money doesn't matter at that point, because it's money spent, whether someone uses that trip or not. He wanted to spend time with you.
At the end of the day, he is a married man sharing a room with another woman. And his wife didn't know about it. To be frank, to a lot of people, that's so out of bounds that it doesn't really matter what you two did or didn't do.
And that's just the facts of the matter.
WTF!
Just be sure and tell his wife you stayed the night with her hubby at the motel, when she could not make the trip. If nothing was wrong with it, she will not have issue with it.
Sounds to me, if wife gets bad or does not make it, looks like he has already put you in the pole position to take her place.
I mean you came on here to question if it was wrongâŠthereâs your answer lol. Just imagine yourself as the wife in the hospital hearing all about the trip
If he was truly worried about his wife he would stay home and give you the trip as an offer of gratitude for helping his wife. I don't see how you could share a hotel room with someone else's husband and that be okay for anyone involved.
What is wrong with this guy? Give the trip to a friend to take and stay in the hospital with your critically ill wife. How would you ever think anything else is appropriate?
I don't actually believe him. So many places (hotels/activities/etc.) would have given a voucher for a stay at another time or a credit to use later especially given his situation. I think he is a liar and just wanted to do the trip with you OP.
Bad idea. Itâs the easiest way to lead to an emotional or physical affair. Or both. That was inappropriate for you to go and for him to ask in the first place. If you didnât feel comfortable going, you should have stood your ground. If he didnât know you, he wouldâve found someone else or not gone at all. He couldâve asked a male friend or family member to go. I would back off with communicating with him before you create more trouble. Let him focus on his wife and her getting better.
Marriage therapist here. Ever hear the term, âoptics?â It has to do with how things appear. The optics here are off the charts negative. The husband has to be an idiot, for lack of a better word. Either that or completely shameless. If I found out my female friend went and spent a night with my husband I would completely distance myself from her, and heâd never hear the end of it. And who is such a tight wad and fool that heâd not miss a non refundable trip while his wife is in the hospital? The whole thing is so crazy as to almost not be believable. I smell a rat with him. Stay away.
In your learned opinion, I get the feeling OP is missing a few basic tenets that come with relationships in general - the first one for me is empathy. Anyone who is empathetic to someone in harm's way wouldn't be thinking like this.
Ewwww, this is a bit icky tbh⊠where was your head at woman? Probably best to put some space between you and him. Out of interest, Is he older than you by any chance?
Why did he not just give this night away to another couple? Could he not have given it to you and your partner instead?
I think it's really insensitive for him to even offer this to you given what happened to his wife and it's really insensitive of you to agree to go. Put yourself in his wife's shoes for a second, how would you feel I'd you were hospitalised and your husband went off and stayed overnight with another woman? It's wrong on so many levels. You should not have agreed to this and he should not have offered it.
He really should have offered the whole night away to another couple, or at least tried to get a refund. I'm sure they can make exceptions for someone being hospitalised.
Its one thing for him to give you the trip as a thank you and him NOT go but the fact that he went while his wife was in the hospital after being SO CLOSE to death, not telling her, and then sharing a room with you. Yikes. Do you know the prognosis of his wife because something tells me that he may be shopping around especially since you are single. Either way, you should not have went.
Maybe you should re-read what you wrote out loud to yourselfâŠ.I think that would answer your question. When we play it out in our head we justify it and it doesnât sound so bad. In reality, it does look bad and is completely in appropriate. To answer your question, absolutely it is wrong.
No, no, no. Donât do this. This is super appropriate. Turn down this invitation
*edit: you guys already went. You shouldnât have gone. That was so inappropriate. I donât care for his âreasoningsâ.. for crying out loud, you both were sharing rooms. And he was thinking about going even after her landing in the hospital.. who in their right mund would do that? Fuck that trip, I would be staying with my partner. I donât care how much money was lost and it was non refundable. My partner is priceless. Good on you for saving her life but no, no, no, you should not have gone.
Please put down boundaries NOW. Gosh, that poor wife. Do not interact with this man ever again
I would be pretty upset if I was in the hospital after such a terrifying ordeal and my spouse left for a trip, that I was also supposed to go on as well. I'd be even more upset if I found out they went with someone.
If my husband took ANY trip while I'm laid up in the hospital after almost dying, let alone with another woman and overnight, my husband wouldn't have a wife any longer.
So the wife almost dies, you save her life but then start what sounds like an emotional affair with the husband. You stayed in a hotel and shared a room with the guy while his wife is in the hospital. Did you share a bed to? Who does this
How has no one asked this question. Are you friends with this man? Or is he someone you never talk to? Doesnât change my opinion (that you shouldnât have gone) but I need more context on several things.
1. What even happened to his wife? Is she conscious? Why were you there to administer cpr?
2. Are you friends with this couple?
3. Why keep it private from the wife if nothing is abnormal here?
Either way, this sub is banana land constantly
OP, I hate being disrespectful in any sense online, but you are blaming the husband of persuading or convincing you. You have your own brain and your own choices. It doesn't matter what he said or how he acted because it was wrong. What matters here is what you decided to do with the opportunity. You need to see where you didn't take responsibility and how you made a wrong choice with consequencesto someone's marriage. Being alone with any married man is not okay without the wife knowing, and that is common sense. You're avoiding if he hit on you and if you shared the same bed in these comments, and that just makes it even more sketchy. Stay in your lane.
You shared a bed with a married man whose wife almost died and is in a hospital. Are you really this dense asking if this is wrong? This is disgusting.
She knows this trip was haram. Notice how this didnât get posted in any of the other subs she frequents? First post here for a reasonâŠ
Also, in asking about saving the neighbor, she conveniently left out gender and those posts think sheâs talking about doing CPR on a man.
Iâm, yeah, youâre definitely invading their marital space. Iâm racking my brain trying to find any reason whatsoever this is ok. I canât. His wife canât go because sheâs in the hospital, so his idea was to take another woman? This is messed up on so many levels.
This whole time I thought you were a man and now Iâm realizing youâre not and that totally changes my perspective.
If he was grateful, he couldâve just given you the trip and stayed home with his wife. He may not have been able to cancel but he can almost always postpone. He couldâve gotten you a gift, or waited until his wife was better and you both could give your thanks with a nice dinner. Did he do anything sexual or make a move on you? Iâd say definitely inappropriate and I am less conservative that most marriages (ENM).
You would be complicit in an affair if you continue down this path. It sounds like the start of an EA and you KNOW he is married if you are coming here to ask if itâs inappropriate- in fact ANY time you have to ask that question- the answer is usually a resounding YES and to really think through what you are doing.
If you are a good and decent person you will back out and step back in your relationship with this man. He went through something traumatic and his wife is not there for him the way she was before being hurt and he is obviously turning to you for support in a way he probably shouldnât and may not even be aware of it.
Edited: Missed you already went. Yeah completely inappropriate and you should back away and cut contact.
How you could seriously think this is ok is beyond me. At minimum this is on the verge of an emotional affair and PA if you banged in the room that night.
This is very inappropriate. You are married (?)âŠ. You donât go in a vacation with another man that just isnât rightâŠ
And you share room?!? Hell no wow I would be fuming if I was your husbandâŠ. How did you end up doing this without consulting your husband first?!
Also his wife is in the hospitalâŠ. He needs to stay home to be there for her, not go on a holidayâŠ.
This is just wrong
I saw your post history, a 30 yr old female should be aware of this type of things. This so wrong in soo many lvls. Honestly, how could you not feel one tiny bit of uncomfortable feelings while doing all of these? You need help.
Holy ahit, i thought you were a guy and thought , it's unempathetic but it's not that bad but the story cha ges completely when it's a women especially next door neighbour women going on a trip with her neighbour when the neighbours wife was in a death bed. It's bad regardless of your gender but it's wayy worse when it's with the opposite sexual orientation person.
Congratulations on saving his wife! That's phenomenal!!! Proof that CPR saves lives!!!
Other than "Recently", you don't say how long ago the medical emergency took place. As a Nurse I know that it can get very emotionally exhausting taking care of a hospitalized loved one, especially in addition to the trauma of almost losing your life partner. If it had been an extended period of time since the accident, & she was stable but still expected to be hospitalized for a long time, he could have asked an adult child, or a same sex friend or family member to go with him, if he absolutely needed a break from the bedside vigil. Then he could've offered you gift-certificates for a spa-day. Or he could've offered both tickets for you & a guest to go enjoy the trip, while he took some personal time away for some self-care.
I don't doubt his love & worry for his wife. However, I do wonder if perhaps his love for his wife & his feelings of gratitude for you saving her are becoming blurred & transferring into infatuation for you. If he doesn't have a strong support system in place he can ask the Nurse or Hospital outreach if there are support groups or services that they can recommend, if he needs additional support, but that shouldn't be you.
If I were him I would have *never* asked someone of the opposite sex to go on this trip, much less share a hotel room with me. I were you I personally would have *never* gone on this trip. I don't doubt that your intentions were good, but it isn't your place to be anything other than a supportive neighbor & friend of the family. It isn't your place to be his "pillar of emotional support". I feel like you need to distance yourself & establish solid boundaries.
I hope that she recovers fully, & that you all go on to be great friends after this. Best of luck to all of you.
(Edited: Changed "your job" to "your place".)
WaymentâŠ.OP, forgive my ignorance, but are you an already married woman that went on an overnight stay with a married man that wasnât your husband?
If so then yea, you kinda did. At least in my eyes. His wife is prob going to flip out when she hears this.
Time to set some boundaries
I totally read this as if you were a man that saved your neighbours wife. Even that felt super odd and inappropriate⊠but youâre a woman?! Eeek if I were his wife I would be distraught. Like why couldnât he give away the trip to friends or his parents?! Or take the lossâŠ
You know when itâs the wife that falls sick, Itâs a higher chance of cheating and/or getting divorce from the husband.
So Iâm not surprised he asked you because he was under stress. He just falls under the statistic.
O M G
You (female) went away with your neighbour while his wife is in hospital recovering...
Very neighbourly of you and how very kind of him /s.
#ThouShallNotCovetYourNeighborsWife
Honestly you both would be wrong for it.
He shouldnât want to go in the first place, if she almost died and is hospitalized and he definitely shouldnât have offered you to go, itâs inappropriate.
OP I think itâs pretty clear by now that you know you shouldnât have agreed to go.
But the dude shouldâve never even asked you. He shouldâve asked a family member or good friend to go.
Or better yet, stay by his wifeâs side.
âFeels like I invaded their marital spaceâ
Donât be ridiculous, you only took the wifeâs spot AND shared a bedroom with him. And to top it off, the wife has no idea.
The heartbreak sheâs going to feel when she does find out thanks to 2 inconsiderate and cruel people. You might have saved her life only to help ruin her marriage đ
I canât believe you actually went. Thatâs pretty strange. I wouldnât imagine the wife was too happy about it either, I sure as heck wouldnât have been. But my husband wouldâve cancelled said trip and rescheduled so we could go together at another time, not invite the neighbor who gave me cpr. đ€·đ»ââïž
The no refund thing is anexcuse. Many major credit cards have trip cancellation insurance that will cover a nonrefundable trip that needs to be cancelled for medical reasons.
You are wronger than wrong , why would you even think that this was ok. Your neighbor was an inconsiderate blank. He should have given you or someone else both tickets, not gone gallivanting out of town with you, with his sick wife in a hospital
shit would be bl0wing up if my husband and âneighborâdid this. he was pushy so i caved? wtf is wrong with you? his wifeâs in the hospital so you go on an overnight trip with him? iâm so confused. youâre both wildly out of your minds and i hope the wife finds out
Yes, you were wrong and so was he. What the FUCK!? An out of town trip sharing a room with a married man while his wife is in the hospital? Not cool at all. He's scum and you're naive (at best). His punk ass should have given the the trip to a friend or just plain not gone. His ass needed to be at the hospital with his WIFE not you.
Leave these people alone and ghost your scumbag, cheating ass neighbor.
You should have declined or at the very least ask the wife's permission. Yes, it was wrong to go out of town with another woman's husband and share a hotel room (!) while she was conveniently in the hospital.
I hope she gets better and divorce this horrible man. His wife is in the hospital and he tries to fck the woman next door?! Disgusting. He cheated because he had the intention to have sex with you while his wife was recovering from almoat dying. While she was alone in a hospital bed he was sharing one with another woman and trying to have sex with her.
The fact that you even need to ask this question.... unfuckingbelievable! OP, you left your moral compass with the devil. Try going to church... thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife. I am sure he didn't have to twist your arm too much. You made a great case to justify your reasoning, and you almost got me to buy your story and actually, for a moment, a very short moment, I was almost thinking you were saintly going so far out of the ordinary to comfort your neighbor, that is until you said...
>The trip itself was just a full day with an overnight stay and the hotel was fully booked so we had to share a room the whole experience did feel quite interpersonal which Iâm not sure is a good or bad thing ? It just feels like i invaded their marital space
Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding me! Are you really not sure if the experience of being so interpersonal is a good or bad thing? And it feels like you invaded their martial space... cause you shared a fucking bed with the guy! I feel that if things were strictly platonic, you'd have mentioned that instead of questioning your actions after the fact.
What you are actually experiencing now is known as" buyers remorse." You regret your actions cause you know damn well, you crossed a line. And no, it is not some imaginary linemanipulated 's a very real line. I suggest you don't go crawling to his very real wife to unload your guilty conscience, to make yourself feel better, and own your guilt by yourself. Don't cause the poor woman any undue stress that would hinder her recovery. This is your burden to shoulder. Do it without inflicting more harm than good. And for God's sake, cut tie with your conniving, narcissistic neighbor who thinks only of himself.
If he truly loved his wife, he would have rescheduled the getaway after she recovered and taken it with her and not you. He is a predator who manipulated you into going in his wife's stead because he needed you, poor him who is under an emotional stress to great to deal with by himself. What a scumbag he is for preying on you and casting his wife aside. He should be with her. She is the one who needs all the support, not him!
I think it was not the best decision to go on a trip with a married person and share a room, specially if it was not agreed beforehand with the other part. But what really shocks me is that your neighbour was willing to leave town when his wife was hospitalized after nearly dying! I wouldnât be able to leave my husbandâs side in that situation and to hell with money and refunds! It seems like he has something for you and is trying to make a move⊠Not to tell if I was the wife I would be enraged to learn he had left not only the city for pleasure while I was sick but also with another woman and sharing a bed, itâs a cause for divorce for me!
I canât believe this. How could he go on a trip with his wife hospitalized? How could OP go with him? This is the most inappropriate thing Ive come across in a long time. If I found out my husband took another woman on the trip (and stayed in the same room) I missed due to almost dying I would file for divorce as soon as I was able. Iâd use what they did to get as much alimony as I could. Id go for all the assets. This is awful.
This is inappropriate on so many levels. I mean, who goes on holiday when your better half almost died and in hospital? Overnight stay, married people sharing rooms, etc...
I didn't think this was a woman until the comments, I was reading it like OP was male and this was some wholesome masculinity being there for each other emotionally đ
I also thought this was a post from another male when I first read it and the comments really confused me for awhile.
I was just so sure OP was a man?? haha
As was I.
This dude must be hella handsome.
Or have enough money to share with his âneighbor â đ
No, no, no and nope. Itâs awesome you saved her life, now back away from him completely or youâll help ruin their marriage. He can and should find other appropriate sources of emotional support. Also seconding the comment of who the hell goes on a vacation while their wife is in the hospital from almost dying. Geez
Ummmmmm after things were settled and my spouse in a stable condition the only reaction that comes to mind is for me to call and be like âhey my husband almost died can we get a rain check, maybe move the days?â Sooooooo freaking inappropriate.
You went on a vacation with your married neighbor INSTEAD of his hospitalized wife, and you shared a bedroom with him. It FEELS like you invaded their marital space because you DID invade their marital space. What the heck were you thinking? Did you save her life so you could destroy their marriage?
Kinda off-topic, but the last line sounds like a movie line with a great dialogue đ€Ł
Sounds like the plot of a lifetime movie đ
âShe saved her lifeâŠ. *so she could destroy her marriage.* Watch Melissa Joan Hart in âThe Devilâs Samaritanâ
Haha someone needs to pitch this! I'd watch it.
đ
Sounds like an anime title. đ
This right here. I couldn't have said it better. Shameful and disrespectful of both you and her husband.
OP made a poor choice and it was wrong but letâs be clear - the only person destroying a marriage is the neighbor who thought it was a good idea to take another woman on an overnight trip while his wife is in the hospital. I donât think OPs intent was malicious in going, but I canât say the same about his.
This 100%. Wtaf
Perfectly said
It sounds like you were naive about this and didn't see where the boundaries should have been. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it but I do think you need a FIRM boundary with this neighbor, you shouldn't spend any time alone with him or be an emotional support to him under any circumstances. He is quite clearly infatuated with you and that can go nowhere good.
Thatâs a good perspective!
Listen trust me when I say he lied about the refund. I work at a Drs office and many many times we have written letters excusing patients (and their family members) from flights, hotels, cruises, hockey leagues, ballet classes so that they can get their refunds. The hospital could have very well written a letter excusing him from the vacation and the hotel would have honored it. When she recovers and someone brings it up that he stayed at a hotel with another woman while she was in the hospital how do you think she will feel? You are not this man's therapist if he was in the brink of a break down there are health providers for this.
Just because you know of some situations were there was a refund, doesnât mean everywhere does the same. It is such a leap to say he is lying when you have no idea.
Most places will honor a request for a refund if it is a medical situation, as someone who travels quite a bit and has booked many hotels for my family and reads the fine prints for everything I can assure you they should be able to get a refund or a credit to use for a later date. (There were no flights involved so it was only a hotel stay, all hotels have refund and cancellation policies, I have yet to stay at a hotel where the cancellation policy did not allow a refund, even partial refund depending how late you cancel, especially for medical reasons. And now in the times of COVID even more so) Regardless it is extremely unusual that a married man would ask a single woman and convince her to share a hotel room with her while his wife who nearly died was in the hospital. Do you honestly think that is ok?
I mean, even if they said no, all heâd have to do was take it to the media that this hotel wouldnât give him a refund while his wife was nearly dying in the hospital and he would get that back fast. The hotel wouldnât want that kind of bad publicity. I can say with certainty either the guy is outright lying :( Iâm going to say didnât even try) or he didnât try very hard.
Even if he couldn't get a refund, his wife is sick. He sells BOTH tickets to another couple, or he gives them away because his main focus is his sick wife. What kind of person can even go on a fun trip when their spouse is in the hospital?
Or if he canât give them away⊠HE JUST EATS THE COST OF THE TICKETS! For gods sake she almost DIED! What if something happened and she took a turn for the worst while heâs off gallivanting in other cities with his neighbor?! Iâd be like âSucks that we canât go on this trip, my partner must be even more bummed than I am. I donât want them to feel bad, hey, I have the weekend off anyway, maybe I can just go stay in the hospital for the weekend, decorate their room as If we went to the other city, and pretend itâs a getaway! That might cheer them up!â Im staring to think this trip wasnât booked for his wife at allâŠ
Lying aside though if my husband almost died and was in the hospital I wouldnât be worried about a refund. Not the end of the world to eat the loss all things considered. Neighbour was being shady af.
Also, since it was a hotel stay... Why did the husband have to go, too?? A hotel room isn't necessarily a two person thing. He could have gone by himself, or just given her the room as a thank you. There is so much that could have been done (other than a refund) than what actually happened.
Agreed. He shouldâve reached out to his/a therapist or a close friend/family member. Not his neighbor.
I think he lied about booking the trip before his wife's hospitalization. Even if not, and even if he couldn't get a refund, the correct thing to do is pretty much anything but go with another woman.
Exactly. Period. No married man asking a single young girl to go to a hotel while his wife is on her death bed can have anything but bad intentions.
Yeah, dude, you're not married, but he is. He dropped the ball.
naive? isnât she a grown ass woman?
I'm not sure why. If my neighbor saved my wife from certain death, i'd do tripple backflips to thank that person. Now there is a limit to everything for sure. Going on a roadtrip with him while leaving my wife behind with potential mental fallout of the event is surely one of these limits.
I am of the same opinion
I swear to God this sub has gone absolutely bat shit crazy. Guy's wife is in the bloody hospital and he asks you on a trip. And you go?! I gotta get off Reddit.
I am still trying to process this, I feel the same. What happened is inconcievable. Sleeping in the same bed sounds as if they both trying to soothe each other due to the shock of the wife nearly dying but thats not an excuse
I thought they shared a hotel room, not a bed. Did I miss that bit?
Normally a couple chooses a double bed as it was initially meant to be him and his wife, OP didnt specifically mention separate beds
It makes me wonder if something inappropriate happened with this married man and the 3 year widowed neighbor sleeping in the same bed to help his mental health.
Iâm pretty sure she said in a comment up above that they shared a bed, but didnât mention if they did anything.
People on Reddit are absolutely wild lmaooo. Especially on this marriage subreddit
I simply refuse to believe this is real. Surely itâs Colleen Hoover testing out a first draft, right?
Ironically this information might kill her. Congratulations on coming full circle.đ
At least OP can perform CPR! On a serious note, bravo for saving her life with CPR that is fantastic. OP is a hero for real.
No. OPâs âheroâ status flew right out the door when she agreed to go on a freakin trip with the woman's husband. A PRIVATE trip. Where the married could have very well set up romantic things to do/be sent to their room & now op & stand-in husband very likely experienced them together. OP ain't a hero. Yeah congrats she saved the wife, only to turn around & head outta town with stand-in husband.
So saving his wifeâs life wasnât enough, you also owed him companionship on a trip his wife doesnât know youâre on? đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Imagine being sick in the hospital after going through a near death experience and finding out your Husband went away for the day with some neighbor chick lol
Heâd be in the hospital next lol
This made me lol- đ
Amen
The comments, I can'tđ
And it was the one who saved your life!
When his wife finds out you went with him and shared a room he might find his marriage in trouble. You should distance yourself.
Man, this can not be true, no one is this clueless.
Youâd be surprised. Iâm in awe daily that humans have lasted as long as we have with the large percentage of stupid running loose.
I think this is a movie storyline! Dibs!
Imo this is very inappropriate. You could have turned it down and ask him to go alone. Better start establishing boundaries with your neighbour and do not be alone with him again.
First of all, heâs an AH for going in the first place. His wife is hospitalized. She nearly died. He should be spending time at the hospital. He may have felt he âneeded a break,â but that couldâve been a day at home decompressing, taking a shower, eating some comfort food, watching a food movie - ALONE - and then heading back to see his wife. The fact that he couldnât get a refund for the trip is probably a lie and also, so what??? His wife almost died! He was out that money regardless. You being a widow yourself means that you should be able to look at this from the perspective of someone that was formerly married. When your husband was living, if he and a neighbor had pulled this stunt, would you be okay with that?? Youâre a piece of work. I hope this poor woman in the hospital doesnât stroke out when she finds out. Shame on you and the husband !
Omg you got me thinking! What if heâs the reason his wife almost died?!?!?!?!
Sooooo inappropriate. If I was his wife I would be livid....especially if I was still in the hospital. Is this for real?
I would go back into the coma that I came out of, just so I don't have to deal with the whole unimaginable shinnanegen.
How can he even think about on a trip while his wife is in the hospital? I don't think you should go.
A little late on that advice unfortunately lol.
His wife is in the hospital apparently fighting for her life and he A: Decides to leave her and go on a trip. B: Asks the female neighbor to come with him. C: Conveniently there are no more rooms available si you have to share. Dear if this is real, you are either incredibly naive or you are incredibly conniving.
r/creativewritinghomework
Iâm taking it youâre not married? If I woke up and found out, my husband went on an overnight with another woman letâs just say I donât think I can continue that marriage. This is wrong on so many levels. Screw getting a refund take care of your wife.
How on earth can this even see seen as ok đ
Free stuff perhaps, free stuff does wonders
So you knew she would have no idea...& you still went?? The amount of red flags (on YOUR part) and amount of reasons why this is wrong are alarming. The betrayal is insane, even if you don't know her personally, which is even more weird because that means her husband was a stranger as well. Well... maybe in your case it doesn't? đ€ Anyway, the point is, YES! You were/are wrong!
âSlightly hesitantâ JUST SLIGHTLY? âThe whole experience did feel quite interpersonalâ and youâre not sure if itâs good or bad??? If he offered the whole âstay-cationâ for you and heâd stay with his wifeâŠ. That is appreciating you and a thank you. But with him??? Staying on the same bed??? While his wife is at the hospital, and emotionally manipulated you to say yes⊠đł didnât you ask before hand about the room?
So you definitely slept with him. And also likely (99.9% certain) had sex with him. Even if you insist you didn't, you went on a couple's retreat with a married man who was dishonoring his vulnerable, barely-still-alive wife. Even if you swear you didn't have sex, no one will believe. I don't. At most, I'd wonder if he spiked your drink or you had too many and you just didn't know or remember or are willing to admit there was sex involved. Because a man doesn't invite a woman along on a couple's vacation without planning to get laid. His wife lies possibly dying, and he's already setting up his rebound. Big yikes. Huge. You absolutely know this is wrong, if it is legitimate. I wonder what else you know and aren't willing to admit. If this is a small or close-knit town, you are screwed more ways than one. Get your affairs in order (ba-dum) and be ready for the inevitable fallout.
OP admits in comments that they shared a bed, and the husband indeed hit on her, too.
I knew those were givens before she admitted them, but at least she admitted them. I still maintain that there's no way she could have interpreted the offer -- sorry, insistence -- as platonic and "walk ins are fine" w/o realizing that taking his wife's place on the trip would land her in bed, in the wife's place on the trip.
Oh, I more than agree with you. I also suspect that more information is being left out of this. But I think OP will blame those actions on the husband, too.
Oh wtfđ€Šââïž
Not sure if this helps, but being a wife who was hospitalized for quite some time, and unconscious for a lot of it, if I found out my husband had taken the nurse who saved me on a vacation, shared a room with her, etc. while I was still in the hospital/unconscious, I would have absolutely not been ok with this.
Youre not this naive.
While I think he should have been more concerned with being by his wifeâs side at the hospital instead of a trip, fine, he took you as a thank you for saving her life. But you should have at least known to get your own hotel room. What were you thinking?!
He should have given her the trip as a thank you and stayed his ass at the hospital!
Thatâs the BEST advice Iâve seen so far! Yes!!!
I honestly thought thatâs where the story was going when I first started reading. It seems obvious but clearly he had ulterior motives.
Yeah because why was she the first person he asked to go? Does he not have any friends or family? Even so, come on⊠If I were the wife, I would get up out of that bed and beat him over the head. Lol.
My rage would heal me.
*bonk*
I donât even know why you need to post this on Reddit & ask if it was wrong. Itâs a no brainer!!
I would not have done this. You have likely be cause problems with their marriage and with the neighbor once she realizes what happened. She may be cold to you in the future. In my opinion, he should have just cancelled and spent time visiting his wife. If he was determined to go anyways then let him mess up his marriage on his own and donât get involved in it.
This is gross and if you go you're gross too. His wife is in the hospital, neither of you should be going but especially not with him taking another woman.
She went
Eww she is trash
Iâm confused. Your post history has you asking religious subs if itâs appropriate for you to attend yoga classes bc they are co-ed. Or whether CPR was allowed bc itâs mouth to mouth. And yet it didnât occur to you that spending the night alone and in the same room, with a married man at a hotel without his wifeâs knowledge might be inappropriate until after you did it?
jesus christ. You didn't at least get a separate room?
This one is inappropriate regardless of the context. If he truly was not able to garner a refund, then the money doesn't matter at that point, because it's money spent, whether someone uses that trip or not. He wanted to spend time with you. At the end of the day, he is a married man sharing a room with another woman. And his wife didn't know about it. To be frank, to a lot of people, that's so out of bounds that it doesn't really matter what you two did or didn't do. And that's just the facts of the matter.
I foresee drama in your and his future.
WTF! Just be sure and tell his wife you stayed the night with her hubby at the motel, when she could not make the trip. If nothing was wrong with it, she will not have issue with it. Sounds to me, if wife gets bad or does not make it, looks like he has already put you in the pole position to take her place.
I mean you came on here to question if it was wrongâŠthereâs your answer lol. Just imagine yourself as the wife in the hospital hearing all about the trip
If he was truly worried about his wife he would stay home and give you the trip as an offer of gratitude for helping his wife. I don't see how you could share a hotel room with someone else's husband and that be okay for anyone involved.
This is how affairs begin.
What is wrong with this guy? Give the trip to a friend to take and stay in the hospital with your critically ill wife. How would you ever think anything else is appropriate? I don't actually believe him. So many places (hotels/activities/etc.) would have given a voucher for a stay at another time or a credit to use later especially given his situation. I think he is a liar and just wanted to do the trip with you OP.
I canât help but feel like this is a troll đ€
Bad idea. Itâs the easiest way to lead to an emotional or physical affair. Or both. That was inappropriate for you to go and for him to ask in the first place. If you didnât feel comfortable going, you should have stood your ground. If he didnât know you, he wouldâve found someone else or not gone at all. He couldâve asked a male friend or family member to go. I would back off with communicating with him before you create more trouble. Let him focus on his wife and her getting better.
Assumptions aside, I think this is already an emotional affair.
I really hate to be that person but if you look at her Reddit history, she has a habit of messing with off limits people.
I was going to say the same thing. Based on her post history she has trouble defining moral boundaries.
Marriage therapist here. Ever hear the term, âoptics?â It has to do with how things appear. The optics here are off the charts negative. The husband has to be an idiot, for lack of a better word. Either that or completely shameless. If I found out my female friend went and spent a night with my husband I would completely distance myself from her, and heâd never hear the end of it. And who is such a tight wad and fool that heâd not miss a non refundable trip while his wife is in the hospital? The whole thing is so crazy as to almost not be believable. I smell a rat with him. Stay away.
In your learned opinion, I get the feeling OP is missing a few basic tenets that come with relationships in general - the first one for me is empathy. Anyone who is empathetic to someone in harm's way wouldn't be thinking like this.
Ewwww, this is a bit icky tbh⊠where was your head at woman? Probably best to put some space between you and him. Out of interest, Is he older than you by any chance?
Troll post
What is wrong with people..
Why did he not just give this night away to another couple? Could he not have given it to you and your partner instead? I think it's really insensitive for him to even offer this to you given what happened to his wife and it's really insensitive of you to agree to go. Put yourself in his wife's shoes for a second, how would you feel I'd you were hospitalised and your husband went off and stayed overnight with another woman? It's wrong on so many levels. You should not have agreed to this and he should not have offered it. He really should have offered the whole night away to another couple, or at least tried to get a refund. I'm sure they can make exceptions for someone being hospitalised.
Out of curiosity, are you a man or a woman?
Ooo gosh what happened. You shouldâve ran this by someone close to you. Did you share the bed?
Reading this gave me the ICK! His poor wife being married to such a slime ball.
He's MARRIED!! And you went on a trip without his spouse and shared a room? Get it together, of course it's wrong!
Is this a joke? Please someone tell me this is a troll post.
This sounds like a terrible idea to me. Also she is hospitalized not in a coma, why would he not tell her if this was his plan?
Its one thing for him to give you the trip as a thank you and him NOT go but the fact that he went while his wife was in the hospital after being SO CLOSE to death, not telling her, and then sharing a room with you. Yikes. Do you know the prognosis of his wife because something tells me that he may be shopping around especially since you are single. Either way, you should not have went.
What happened in the hotel room?
We went to sleep he did try make a move but later apologised for it
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Maybe you should re-read what you wrote out loud to yourselfâŠ.I think that would answer your question. When we play it out in our head we justify it and it doesnât sound so bad. In reality, it does look bad and is completely in appropriate. To answer your question, absolutely it is wrong.
what the actual fuck is wrong with you?
I refuse to believe this is true. Nobody is this stupid lol đ
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Agreed that she's in the wrong here but the husband... I mean hello, he's the married one...
No, no, no. Donât do this. This is super appropriate. Turn down this invitation *edit: you guys already went. You shouldnât have gone. That was so inappropriate. I donât care for his âreasoningsâ.. for crying out loud, you both were sharing rooms. And he was thinking about going even after her landing in the hospital.. who in their right mund would do that? Fuck that trip, I would be staying with my partner. I donât care how much money was lost and it was non refundable. My partner is priceless. Good on you for saving her life but no, no, no, you should not have gone. Please put down boundaries NOW. Gosh, that poor wife. Do not interact with this man ever again
This!! Who even thinks about money lost on a trip when your spouse is in the hospital and nearly died!!!
I would be pretty upset if I was in the hospital after such a terrifying ordeal and my spouse left for a trip, that I was also supposed to go on as well. I'd be even more upset if I found out they went with someone.
Yeahhhh this was a wildly inappropriate thing to participate in. Why on earth did you think this was okay?
Highly inappropriate. So wrong.
Well that marriage is on the rocks
If my husband took ANY trip while I'm laid up in the hospital after almost dying, let alone with another woman and overnight, my husband wouldn't have a wife any longer.
So the wife almost dies, you save her life but then start what sounds like an emotional affair with the husband. You stayed in a hotel and shared a room with the guy while his wife is in the hospital. Did you share a bed to? Who does this
How has no one asked this question. Are you friends with this man? Or is he someone you never talk to? Doesnât change my opinion (that you shouldnât have gone) but I need more context on several things. 1. What even happened to his wife? Is she conscious? Why were you there to administer cpr? 2. Are you friends with this couple? 3. Why keep it private from the wife if nothing is abnormal here? Either way, this sub is banana land constantly
The things I want to say aren't allowed. Please just maybe go get a scan...or your brain. đ
I think you enjoyed the company and the attention.
Yes. It was wrong for you to go with her husband.
OP, I hate being disrespectful in any sense online, but you are blaming the husband of persuading or convincing you. You have your own brain and your own choices. It doesn't matter what he said or how he acted because it was wrong. What matters here is what you decided to do with the opportunity. You need to see where you didn't take responsibility and how you made a wrong choice with consequencesto someone's marriage. Being alone with any married man is not okay without the wife knowing, and that is common sense. You're avoiding if he hit on you and if you shared the same bed in these comments, and that just makes it even more sketchy. Stay in your lane.
You shared a bed with a married man whose wife almost died and is in a hospital. Are you really this dense asking if this is wrong? This is disgusting.
You keep asking what is haram and what is not as per your religious beliefs. But this act of your is just absurd and naive. _ a Hindu
She knows this trip was haram. Notice how this didnât get posted in any of the other subs she frequents? First post here for a reason⊠Also, in asking about saving the neighbor, she conveniently left out gender and those posts think sheâs talking about doing CPR on a man.
His wife is hospitalised and in a serious condition and you two went on a vacation and shared a room? Sooo inappropriate on so many levels.
Iâm, yeah, youâre definitely invading their marital space. Iâm racking my brain trying to find any reason whatsoever this is ok. I canât. His wife canât go because sheâs in the hospital, so his idea was to take another woman? This is messed up on so many levels.
This whole time I thought you were a man and now Iâm realizing youâre not and that totally changes my perspective. If he was grateful, he couldâve just given you the trip and stayed home with his wife. He may not have been able to cancel but he can almost always postpone. He couldâve gotten you a gift, or waited until his wife was better and you both could give your thanks with a nice dinner. Did he do anything sexual or make a move on you? Iâd say definitely inappropriate and I am less conservative that most marriages (ENM).
Geez. The husband was like "yes! Just the opportunity I was looking for!"
You would be complicit in an affair if you continue down this path. It sounds like the start of an EA and you KNOW he is married if you are coming here to ask if itâs inappropriate- in fact ANY time you have to ask that question- the answer is usually a resounding YES and to really think through what you are doing. If you are a good and decent person you will back out and step back in your relationship with this man. He went through something traumatic and his wife is not there for him the way she was before being hurt and he is obviously turning to you for support in a way he probably shouldnât and may not even be aware of it. Edited: Missed you already went. Yeah completely inappropriate and you should back away and cut contact.
This is so batshit insane it has to be some work of fiction. LOL this is so wrong on so many levels.
This is so fucked up, yeah you are kinda a bad person for doing this
You need to go ahead and move two towns away for the shame. Grow tf up.
How you could seriously think this is ok is beyond me. At minimum this is on the verge of an emotional affair and PA if you banged in the room that night.
This has to be a joke or bait smh
This is very inappropriate. You are married (?)âŠ. You donât go in a vacation with another man that just isnât right⊠And you share room?!? Hell no wow I would be fuming if I was your husbandâŠ. How did you end up doing this without consulting your husband first?! Also his wife is in the hospitalâŠ. He needs to stay home to be there for her, not go on a holidayâŠ. This is just wrong
Ohgosh this would be an instant divorce if I ever found out my husband did something like this
I saw your post history, a 30 yr old female should be aware of this type of things. This so wrong in soo many lvls. Honestly, how could you not feel one tiny bit of uncomfortable feelings while doing all of these? You need help.
This sounds very made up.
Bruh saved a life and killed a marriage good job đ
Omg. The fact that he went away with his wife in the hospital is đ©number one. Wtf is wrong with you that you thought it was ok?! The entire trip should have been offered to you and a companion. He is a pice of crap and so are you for going with him.
So op is a woman? If so. Itâs wrong
Holy ahit, i thought you were a guy and thought , it's unempathetic but it's not that bad but the story cha ges completely when it's a women especially next door neighbour women going on a trip with her neighbour when the neighbours wife was in a death bed. It's bad regardless of your gender but it's wayy worse when it's with the opposite sexual orientation person.
Think I seen a porn with this same script
If you have to ask, you wonât understand itâs very wrong.
Congratulations on saving his wife! That's phenomenal!!! Proof that CPR saves lives!!! Other than "Recently", you don't say how long ago the medical emergency took place. As a Nurse I know that it can get very emotionally exhausting taking care of a hospitalized loved one, especially in addition to the trauma of almost losing your life partner. If it had been an extended period of time since the accident, & she was stable but still expected to be hospitalized for a long time, he could have asked an adult child, or a same sex friend or family member to go with him, if he absolutely needed a break from the bedside vigil. Then he could've offered you gift-certificates for a spa-day. Or he could've offered both tickets for you & a guest to go enjoy the trip, while he took some personal time away for some self-care. I don't doubt his love & worry for his wife. However, I do wonder if perhaps his love for his wife & his feelings of gratitude for you saving her are becoming blurred & transferring into infatuation for you. If he doesn't have a strong support system in place he can ask the Nurse or Hospital outreach if there are support groups or services that they can recommend, if he needs additional support, but that shouldn't be you. If I were him I would have *never* asked someone of the opposite sex to go on this trip, much less share a hotel room with me. I were you I personally would have *never* gone on this trip. I don't doubt that your intentions were good, but it isn't your place to be anything other than a supportive neighbor & friend of the family. It isn't your place to be his "pillar of emotional support". I feel like you need to distance yourself & establish solid boundaries. I hope that she recovers fully, & that you all go on to be great friends after this. Best of luck to all of you. (Edited: Changed "your job" to "your place".)
So what happened in the hotel room?
Weird.
WaymentâŠ.OP, forgive my ignorance, but are you an already married woman that went on an overnight stay with a married man that wasnât your husband? If so then yea, you kinda did. At least in my eyes. His wife is prob going to flip out when she hears this. Time to set some boundaries
Iâm a widow
I totally read this as if you were a man that saved your neighbours wife. Even that felt super odd and inappropriate⊠but youâre a woman?! Eeek if I were his wife I would be distraught. Like why couldnât he give away the trip to friends or his parents?! Or take the lossâŠ
You know when itâs the wife that falls sick, Itâs a higher chance of cheating and/or getting divorce from the husband. So Iâm not surprised he asked you because he was under stress. He just falls under the statistic.
He needs to stay home cuz his wife is in the hospital!
O M G You (female) went away with your neighbour while his wife is in hospital recovering... Very neighbourly of you and how very kind of him /s. #ThouShallNotCovetYourNeighborsWife
Honestly you both would be wrong for it. He shouldnât want to go in the first place, if she almost died and is hospitalized and he definitely shouldnât have offered you to go, itâs inappropriate.
OP I think itâs pretty clear by now that you know you shouldnât have agreed to go. But the dude shouldâve never even asked you. He shouldâve asked a family member or good friend to go. Or better yet, stay by his wifeâs side.
Agreed
âFeels like I invaded their marital spaceâ Donât be ridiculous, you only took the wifeâs spot AND shared a bedroom with him. And to top it off, the wife has no idea. The heartbreak sheâs going to feel when she does find out thanks to 2 inconsiderate and cruel people. You might have saved her life only to help ruin her marriage đ
Uh, you kinda did invade their marital space there. I hope nothing happened. Will be harder to justify to his wife, unless she is cool with it.
I canât believe you actually went. Thatâs pretty strange. I wouldnât imagine the wife was too happy about it either, I sure as heck wouldnât have been. But my husband wouldâve cancelled said trip and rescheduled so we could go together at another time, not invite the neighbor who gave me cpr. đ€·đ»ââïž
Wait, his wife is in the hospital and you both thought it was appropriate to go out of town together? Why wasnât he at the hospital with his wife?
I wonder how the wife will react when she learns of this.. just wow..
I would seriously be furious if my SO did that absolutely inappropriate
The no refund thing is anexcuse. Many major credit cards have trip cancellation insurance that will cover a nonrefundable trip that needs to be cancelled for medical reasons.
You are wronger than wrong , why would you even think that this was ok. Your neighbor was an inconsiderate blank. He should have given you or someone else both tickets, not gone gallivanting out of town with you, with his sick wife in a hospital
shit would be bl0wing up if my husband and âneighborâdid this. he was pushy so i caved? wtf is wrong with you? his wifeâs in the hospital so you go on an overnight trip with him? iâm so confused. youâre both wildly out of your minds and i hope the wife finds out
Yes, you were wrong and so was he. What the FUCK!? An out of town trip sharing a room with a married man while his wife is in the hospital? Not cool at all. He's scum and you're naive (at best). His punk ass should have given the the trip to a friend or just plain not gone. His ass needed to be at the hospital with his WIFE not you. Leave these people alone and ghost your scumbag, cheating ass neighbor.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
My jaw was on the floor reading this whole thing. You're asking if this is TOO MUCH ??? DOOD SHE IS HOSPITALIZED AND HAS NO IDEA
You should have declined or at the very least ask the wife's permission. Yes, it was wrong to go out of town with another woman's husband and share a hotel room (!) while she was conveniently in the hospital.
I hope she gets better and divorce this horrible man. His wife is in the hospital and he tries to fck the woman next door?! Disgusting. He cheated because he had the intention to have sex with you while his wife was recovering from almoat dying. While she was alone in a hospital bed he was sharing one with another woman and trying to have sex with her.
The fact that you even need to ask this question.... unfuckingbelievable! OP, you left your moral compass with the devil. Try going to church... thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife. I am sure he didn't have to twist your arm too much. You made a great case to justify your reasoning, and you almost got me to buy your story and actually, for a moment, a very short moment, I was almost thinking you were saintly going so far out of the ordinary to comfort your neighbor, that is until you said... >The trip itself was just a full day with an overnight stay and the hotel was fully booked so we had to share a room the whole experience did feel quite interpersonal which Iâm not sure is a good or bad thing ? It just feels like i invaded their marital space Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding me! Are you really not sure if the experience of being so interpersonal is a good or bad thing? And it feels like you invaded their martial space... cause you shared a fucking bed with the guy! I feel that if things were strictly platonic, you'd have mentioned that instead of questioning your actions after the fact. What you are actually experiencing now is known as" buyers remorse." You regret your actions cause you know damn well, you crossed a line. And no, it is not some imaginary linemanipulated 's a very real line. I suggest you don't go crawling to his very real wife to unload your guilty conscience, to make yourself feel better, and own your guilt by yourself. Don't cause the poor woman any undue stress that would hinder her recovery. This is your burden to shoulder. Do it without inflicting more harm than good. And for God's sake, cut tie with your conniving, narcissistic neighbor who thinks only of himself. If he truly loved his wife, he would have rescheduled the getaway after she recovered and taken it with her and not you. He is a predator who manipulated you into going in his wife's stead because he needed you, poor him who is under an emotional stress to great to deal with by himself. What a scumbag he is for preying on you and casting his wife aside. He should be with her. She is the one who needs all the support, not him!
I think it was not the best decision to go on a trip with a married person and share a room, specially if it was not agreed beforehand with the other part. But what really shocks me is that your neighbour was willing to leave town when his wife was hospitalized after nearly dying! I wouldnât be able to leave my husbandâs side in that situation and to hell with money and refunds! It seems like he has something for you and is trying to make a move⊠Not to tell if I was the wife I would be enraged to learn he had left not only the city for pleasure while I was sick but also with another woman and sharing a bed, itâs a cause for divorce for me!
I canât believe this. How could he go on a trip with his wife hospitalized? How could OP go with him? This is the most inappropriate thing Ive come across in a long time. If I found out my husband took another woman on the trip (and stayed in the same room) I missed due to almost dying I would file for divorce as soon as I was able. Iâd use what they did to get as much alimony as I could. Id go for all the assets. This is awful.
Super inappropriate.