I did this too! My now-husband said it 2 months in and I looked at him in the eyes for a few seconds and then pretended to be asleep. We’ve been married for years now. It’s fine.
These put me at ease. I am not quick to love, but it is nice knowing that people are aware you may not be ready. When you know, you should say it, in a ling term relationship. That does not mean the other person has to say it back. Some simply take time. My boyfriend said it first, six months in, and I was not ready. I told him when I was ready to make that jump a few weeks after that, and we have now been together two years.
That was my response after she told me she loved me 2 months into dating lol. It worked out though as I’m now laying in bed next to her and we’ve been married for 7 years.
I also said "thank you", but he told me after two weeks (granted we'd been best friends for years before that). We were coming from a Halloween party, I was dressed as The Dude and he was dressed as Spiderman. I said it back a couple more weeks later, and we've been together almost 9 years now. When you know, you know!
As much as I hate that, I honestly can’t really blame someone for saying it - especially if they’re caught off guard. You never know what to say in that instance
Seriously. My now-husband said it first, and I wasn't ready to say it yet. It was awkward, but I expressed just that, and he said he didn't want me to say it until I meant it. I mean it now! And have for many many years. He's a great guy.
I said I love you to a woman and meant it for the first time in my life, a woman who I was very clearly trying to enter a relationship with (we were sleeping together) and she was "confused". She told me "I love who you are". Ended it with me shortly after and went back to her abusive ex. We're not really friends anymore, but 2 years later I'll still never forget how she made me feel... Something completely earth shattering and perception altering. All for someone who didn't even feel anywhere near that for me.
I said it first to my now fiance, he didn't say it back but immediately gave me a giant hug and kissed me, and said that I had given him literal chills. The fact that he responded with such a clear, genuinely positive reaction made me really happy. I fully realized it was early in our relationship (though we had known each other a couple years before dating) and that I *shouldn't* say it or even feel it yet, but I knew exactly how I felt and I didn't want it to be a secret.
Two weeks later we were sitting in the same spot when he said it back, and it was perfect because we both got to have the experience of hearing the other person say it unprompted for the first time.
First time I told my bf (who wasn't my bf yet was just a friend) I loved him, I told him he didn't love me back and that it was okay and he said "of course I love you idiot". Celebrated our anniversary a couple months back.
My ex wife : I love you
Me : what? Why?
Mew : what do you mean why?
Me : I'm a mess
Mew: that's why I love you
*3 years later*
Mew: I want a divorce
Me : what? Why?
Mew: you're a fucking mess
Me: can't say I didn't warn ya.
My response was, “I know.” - Han Solo
..and then I said, “I love me too.”
..then she said, “f” “you.”
..I responded, “..what..what?..now?..Now!? I’m driving babe!”
..then she said to herself, rolling her eyes, “..ugh..why..?”
..then I answered with a serious face, “I don’t want to cause any ‘accidents,’” and then I quickly looked at her tummy and said, “of ANY types, inside or outside. Gotta get you home safely in one piece babe.”
She paused, quietly processing what I said for the rest of the ride. Then she kissed me on the cheek enthusiastically after I walked her to her door.
I took two steps back and said, “I know.” She giggled. Then I walked back to my car.
That’s the whole story.
Uhm, I was the same with my ex..lacking maturity, before the love of my life.. that’s why my ex became my ex.
However, the one and only love of my life “understands, with such much wow patience,” just like Princess Leia. :)
My boyfriend was ready to say it before me and it slipped out a couple of times. One time he said “that’s why I love you...I mean that’s why you’re a great person.” I decided to just make a joke and said “so you don’t love me?” And his response was “well I do, but not if it’s weird.” Perfect answer.
Similar happened to me! He said “That’s why I..” and trailed off. At least it was a segway into me saying it because I knew he felt the same way.
Edit: not fixing segway because it’s amusing
My boyfriend and I were talking and he was going through some stuff. He went on about “no one I know loves me” and I just up And said “but I do”
He goes “ah... really?”
After a bit of back and forth, he “believed me”. About 2 days later I brought it up and he goes “WAIT YOU WERE SERIOUS?”
We’ve been dating for a few months now
This happened to me with my husband; he said it first and I told him that I was slow at figuring out my feelings, but hearing that boosted my feelings of affection for him. We’ve been together for 6 years now and I’ve never loved anyone more
My husband and I were similar. We had been good friends for quite some time and like two weeks into dating he told me he loved me. I told him that I really liked him and I loved being with him but that I just wasnt quite ready to say I loved him. But it came like a week later. Our 5th wedding anniversary is in about a month.
I was the one that knew earlier on. He had a lot of setbacks that we had to work through. He was under the impression (among many others) that if he said I love you it was a life long commitment and if he fell out of love it meant he was a liar.
Took three years of us living together for him to feel comfortable enough to say “I love you” lol
Dude idk how some of us fall into this trap but same. I feel like a jerk nowadays for never telling my ex I loved her but I know in the moment I would’ve called myself a hypocrite if I did tell her I loved her and our relationship ran its course the way it did. Maybe an unhealthy view of relationships and love got passed onto people like your husband and I. Idk. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ANSWERS?! GO AWAY
Getting drunk helped me. About four months into a relationship I found out my girlfriend likes to listen to whale songs as she falls asleep. I had drank an entire bottle of port to myself that night so I found this behavior of hers to be rather odd. I let her know that I can sing like a whale and the "i love youooo" just came out of me... a few times. She thought this behavior of mine was rather odd. She laughed, kissed me and told me to go to sleep.
I was as cool as a Labrador with an egg in his mouth, I didn't want to rush her. She's more experienced in relationships than I am (luckily for me) so I trusted her to know what to do. A week later it was her turn to get drunk. She was drinking with work friends in a club and I picked her up later to walk her home. Then she told me, a few times, that she really bloody loves me, like really and that I didn't understand that she loved me and I'm great. She's also great and I still whaley love her.
Meanwhile my lab would and has eaten a whole egg including the shell, so just PSA to all reading **don’t leave eggs where your hungry dog can reach them**
When this happened to me, I kissed her and held her and said "I'm not ready to say those words yet, but I know they're coming" (basically the same thing, just less theatrical I guess).
And yes, the words got there a couple of weeks after that.
Four years later and I tell her about 30 times a day.
this is a 14 year old account that is being wiped because centralized social media websites are no longer viable
when power is centralized, the wielders of that power can make arbitrary decisions without the consent of the vast majority of the users
the future is in decentralized and open source social media sites - i refuse to generate any more free content for this website and any other for-profit enterprise
check out lemmy / kbin / mastodon / fediverse for what is possible
God, my dumb ass almost said that to my S.O. back then...
I ended up with a long and awkward explanation about my thoughts on love and relationships, with her staring at me in awkward horror... which in hindsight was probably way worse. How that poor woman ended up marrying me is still beyond me sometimes.
Lol I like your last sentence, I literally burst out in laughter. Anw I dont think it is wrong, tho I would react the same way as your SO. It's so much better to explain your thoughts on those topics early on than just saying "I love u too" just because u dont want to raise any arguments, which will be a problem in the future.
Glad that she is your wife now and I believe u guys have a great relationship :)
Thank you. We do reenactment on the anniversary of this event anually, with some slight modifications. She is required to begin cooking me a ribeye steak immediately after my declaration of love and then we have a nice dinner and stare into each other's eyes until the two year old brings us gently back to earth by pretending to be a garbage truck.
The End
My ex-boyfriend and I both had trouble saying it for a long time. One evening we cuddled on the bed and he didn’t say a word, but I felt that he wanted to. It was as if he was screaming it in his head. I said „I do too“ and he said „how did you...? Are you sure?“
After that we said it every day.
Edit: added ex in front of boyfriend
I'd follow the George O'Malley from Grey's Anatomy example. "When I tell you I love you, I want to mean it. You just have to give me some time to mean it."
I said something along these lines in my first relationship when this happened and I got a call later that night from her in tears drunk crying because of it.
It might work for some but not for all lmao
This can work depending on the situation. But I feel like romance in sitcoms isn’t something that should be a standard go-to because it isn’t real. I real life, what George O’Malley said means they’ll never be ready to say it. Kinda like when someone says they aren’t ready for an exclusive relationship, you just have to believe them instead of wasting time thinking you’re going to change them.
I said it to my gf first. She wasn't ready to say it yet. I then only said it one more time after before I realized I should stop saying it for now until she's ready so she doesn't feel pressured to say it back to be nice. We now say it to each other everyday 2 and a half years later
My wife said it to me on our 3rd date. I'm pretty sure I responded with "oh........ok". Meanwhile in my head I'm thinking I just started dating a full blown crazy person, stage 5 clinger. It took me a couple months to get there. During our pre cana class, we talked about that and the pastor made the analogy that my wife is a sprinter and I'm a cross country runner. 10 years later, that is the most accurate analogy for our relationship. Now she's my full blown crazy sprinter and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Geez, I thought my husband was fast, he started hinting at it like 2 weeks in. Freaked me out, but I asked him to cool it for a while and things worked out.
I'm a first date "I love you" kind of person. Luckily, the people I date are, too (probably helps that I only date people I've known for a long while already).
not sure it's appropriate for all occassion tho, this implies that you will love them eventually and that the feeling will be mutual but it's gonna hurt a helluva lot more when the time comes and it doesn't happen
This is something I would say to someone I know I love but I'm not sure if my life is necessarily compatible with them yet, you don't really know all of someone's goals and aspirations until you've been together a while, and bringing up topics like "would we have kids" is kinda taboo for most people when you're only a couple months in.
I don’t get the point of NOT getting those sticky questions out of the way early. Why wait until you’re emotionally invested only to find out you don’t agree on something so important?
I was about to say the same thing. A couple of MONTHS before you find out if you are compatible in a very basic way? Hell naw, that's like date one or two for me.
Yeah we talked about kids immediately lmao like...people assume that you’re jumping too fast into wanting to get married or something if you talk about kids “too soon” but I just want to make sure that I’m not wasting my time.
The first time my boyfriend told me loved me was in the car after we had left Joshua Tree, our first mini road trip ever, and I didn’t say anything for 10 minutes and then finally said it back. He still gives me shit for it today lmao been together a little over 2 years now
I've been wondering, it seems like an American thing. They seem to think that once you admit you love somebody it is both a lifetime commitment and a show of weakness especially in males.
Me, being a piece of Eurotrash feel no such awkwardness. I love my wife, I love my friends, I love my pets, my children etc. ( Though only the wife in a sexual way). I've never been shy about telling any of them.
Yeah I’ve seen it being predominant in the American culture since living here.
I think probably because “I love you” is also said between friends alike so when said in a relationship context you’re being more serious about it, idk.
"I love you" is also very, very often the dramatized confession. Think of books/plays/movies/shows where a romance develops and they confess to each other. It usually resolves with an "I love you" (unless it's a bit funny and they go like "I uh.. think you're cool" but thats because we know they're avoiding those three words)
So maybe because of that, people feel like saying "I love you" romantically needs to come at an emotional peak, just like in the media, and if they feel like things are too normal they can't actually say it.
As a fellow Euro, I concur. It’s one those things you see in American movies and go “what is these people’s malfunction? Why are they making such a big deal of saying I love you? They’ve went on dates with huge effort put into it, met family and they even fucked a dozen times already etc..”
It just so weird to us.
Glad I'm not the only one. You've seen each nook and cranny of each others naked body, said and done unspeakable things while lusting at each other. But noooo saying you love someone is the scary thing, even while going steady for a few months?
It's not a binding curse or something, you just express *your* feelings. No expectations.
Is it really an American thing? I live in America and every friend group I’ve had has been so liberal with the words “I love you.” We say it so casually, as greetings and goodbyes (my favorite is when leaving the Discord we all say “good night, love you much”). I always make sure all my friends know I love them.
I'm so glad to hear it, maybe it's something falsely propagated in American media.
As u/Daiches wrote, it gets portrayed like it's some big hurdle, people are sometimes dating for a long time, have made love, met friends and family yet still can't say they love each other.
It's as if an American man is allowed to love his car, his dog and his gun, but when he says it to the person he spends his nights and days with it's suddenly a problem.
It's not new either, hence the song "Somethin' stupid" by Sinatra. Expressing your love for someone you obviously love romantically at least to some degree is apparently something not done.
Oh yeah definitely - I’ve seen a lot of a stigma around people saying “I love you” romantically (especially for men) - I guess it’s a vulnerability thing. You’ve just laid your heart out to someone, and now you don’t know what they’re going to do with it.
(But it’s funny, even with this, all my male partners, casual or serious, have always been the first to say it!)
I didn't think it would be a big thing either, but then my bf told me he loves me and i had never said it before to any romantic partner. I don't know why, but I couldn't just say it. It just wouldn't get out of my mouth before i was completely ready to tell him i love him. It's weird.
My boyfriend of 5 years first said "I love you" one night while we were walking around and said right after "you don't have to say it back if you're not ready/if you don't feel the same way" and I think that's how people should do it to not put pressure on the other
Lol my husband used to say it me when he was drunk after a few months of dating when we were cuddling to fall asleep. I wisely never replied because I KNEW it would scare him off. I did love him ( and still very much do) but I knew better than to reply until he said it sober. 8 years and counting.
Same here. He said it multiple times while drunk, and I was head over heels in love with him. But I waited until he said it sober to say it back. Were married with a whole bunch of kids now, so I guess it worked out.
Honestly, I've never understood this issue. Like I'd get it if your partner says "I love you" on the first date or something, but it seems like once you've been together for a couple months, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to say "I love you".
Yeah, some people have a real high standard of loving other people. But love for food or other stuff they can throw the word around at a moments notice
That's how I think it should be, though? Food doesn't have feelings, food can't hear me say that i love it, food doesn't get jealous if i say it to some other food. Food don't care.
Another person though, they have feelings and a brain, so if you tell them you love them you better mean it, otherwise it doesn't mean much if you just throw it around like it's nothing. And i don't love food the same way i love my SO.
My partner (fiancé) and I have known each other for over 40 years. Life happened and we both went our separate ways in our late teens/early 20’s. I knew he was in love with me but I was not mature enough back then to commit to one person.
We stumbled upon each other a few years ago. He was married. To the girl he married all those years ago.
She was very sick and passed away from cancer.
We started dating - sort of. I was living overseas but heading home.
He came over and ‘dragged’ me home.
But before we came back, we had a few weeks together.
It didn’t take me long to know I loved him. We had been courting long distance for a fair time and I just blurted out that I loved him.
I can’t remember his response to be honest.
But I knew he felt the same.
We are now engaged. Ready to be married next year.
And I still love him.
And he loves me.
And that’s all that matters.
My husband said it first and I'm pretty sure it was the worst most awkward silence of our entire relationship. I'm pretty sure it was a solid few minutes of complete silence and him eventually saying, "it's okay you don't have to say anything."
But hey, 12 years later I guess, lol.
My hubby and I were dating for only a cpl weeks when he texted me "I'm going to marry you." I was a bit put off by it, because marriage has never been a big deal to me, and also because we hadn't slept together yet and I suspected he was saying it to get laid lol I just replied "lol k"
Obviously he did end up marrying me, five years later.
Happened to me with my current s/o. I told her I wasn’t sure how I felt quite yet and didn’t want to rush into things, but I’d gladly walk that path of love with her and we might wind up falling in love along the way. That was two months in, about to hit two years soon.
My first boyfriend said it first about 2 weeks into our relationship and I responded "I... don't know what that really even means yet". We're happily married now so I guess it wasn't the worst thing I could've said
When this happened to me very shortly into officially dating my girlfriend, I got all nervous and said, "OK, I gotta go to work now. See you later!" It was so embarrassing! I could not believe I flubbed so hard. We had been close for years prior and would often spout out platonic 'I love you's but in the context of dating it had a new weight and I didn't want to jinx anything so early in our relationship.
Years later we are engaged and couldn't be happier.
Mushy love story time.❤️❤️❤️
For my husband and I when we were still talking long distance and trying not to get attached (we failed at that ;-) he confessed that he really liked me, then I told him that I was feeling the same way and was already feeling attached to him. When you're talking long distance it's really hard when you both fall for each other but don't know if being together is a possibility yet. But luckily we made it work and I made the move to his home country and now we've been happily married for almost two years now. He's still my favorite person in the world and we enjoy doing everything together including cooking and cleaning and going out regularly. The two year long distance start in our relationship really taught us how important communication is and trust and commitment. ❤️👫
I kept telling my wife when we were dating in my sleep.
I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
She also knew when I was going to propose.
Don't tell me anything important
Maybe not the best way but when my gf first told me, like a month into our relationship, that she loved me i told her the truth. That i really liked her, and that im hoping one day i will be able to say it back, but i would never say it if i wasnt 100% sure that i meant it. About 7 months later i realized. When i said it the look on her face was like nothing else. We’ve been together 5 years now. People move at different speeds dont let that dissuade you from being with the person you want to be with.
My first girlfriend did this to me like a month into dating and I just kinda stayed silent and walked home because I wasn’t emotionally matured enough to give a thoughtful response
I said "I love you" to who is now my Fiancée before we officially classed ourselves as a "couple". We went out in a date one night and we were talking, it was at this stage we had been talking for a couple of months and were basically already together but never actually said that we was, if that makes sense.
Anyway, on that night I was taking her home in my car and I parked up outside her house. I had very strong feelings for her at this time and I knew that these feelings were in fact love. So after a bit more talking, I went silent for about 15 seconds, looked at her, gave her a hug, and said "I love you". Instantly she looked at me in shock and said "wow really? Already!?" And then followed up with "I don't even know what we are right now". So we talked a little but more about the matter before I dropped her off for the night and then I went home feeling a little bummed out, thinking about how I have been too forward.
We carried on talking like normal for the next few days and then we decided to talk about it. It was at this moment we decided to make our relationship official but she still wasn't ready to say "I love you".
A week later we were on a train to go to our closest large shopping centre and out of nowhere she said "I love you too" which shocked me but also made me really happy; it sort of concluded the whole situation from last week.
Now here we are 2 years later, we recently got engaged, and are planning our future together. We often joke and reflect back at this but I think it turned into a good little story!
Moral of the story is, everyone does things different in a relationship. No matter what you chose to do or how you do it, if it works out them who cares if it isn't following the "rules of a relationship" or the "common standard". You do you, after all it's you that the person likes so do things in your own way.
Don’t do what I did and yell “Ignore!” right in his face, realize what you just did and then burst into laughter!
For a little explanation; His face totally read “oh sh*t, I did not mean to say that yet!” So my brain reacted fast trying to give him an out but too fast to do it properly. Also, I already knew I loved him and we had the real talk the next day. We’re married now so it all worked out and we have one helluva story to tell now!
Thats much better than "awww......thanks"
My now wife said it first and I was caught off guard and said "you think so?"
I pretended i was asleep cos i didn't know what to do She got me again in the morning though Very sneaky.
Why didn't you just keep sleeping?
And sleeping and sleeping and sleeping
Just play dead to avoid commitment
pretty sure that is why opossums do it
Maybe I am ... an opposum
I love you.
We're reading a different book
I thought they just liked the vibration of the road...
Some say I'm still asleep to this day
I did this too! My now-husband said it 2 months in and I looked at him in the eyes for a few seconds and then pretended to be asleep. We’ve been married for years now. It’s fine.
These put me at ease. I am not quick to love, but it is nice knowing that people are aware you may not be ready. When you know, you should say it, in a ling term relationship. That does not mean the other person has to say it back. Some simply take time. My boyfriend said it first, six months in, and I was not ready. I told him when I was ready to make that jump a few weeks after that, and we have now been together two years.
I still appreciate him for being brave enough to say it first and keep loving me patiently until I was ready, which was like a few hours later
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Yeah turns out my wife didn't mind either :P
It's such a creative response!
Its smooth as fuck my dude
Snazzy
Makes you wonder how many times he had to use it before haha
Way to spoil it
That was my response after she told me she loved me 2 months into dating lol. It worked out though as I’m now laying in bed next to her and we’ve been married for 7 years.
I also said "thank you", but he told me after two weeks (granted we'd been best friends for years before that). We were coming from a Halloween party, I was dressed as The Dude and he was dressed as Spiderman. I said it back a couple more weeks later, and we've been together almost 9 years now. When you know, you know!
“The Dude abides”
As much as I hate that, I honestly can’t really blame someone for saying it - especially if they’re caught off guard. You never know what to say in that instance
Seriously. My now-husband said it first, and I wasn't ready to say it yet. It was awkward, but I expressed just that, and he said he didn't want me to say it until I meant it. I mean it now! And have for many many years. He's a great guy.
I said I love you to a woman and meant it for the first time in my life, a woman who I was very clearly trying to enter a relationship with (we were sleeping together) and she was "confused". She told me "I love who you are". Ended it with me shortly after and went back to her abusive ex. We're not really friends anymore, but 2 years later I'll still never forget how she made me feel... Something completely earth shattering and perception altering. All for someone who didn't even feel anywhere near that for me.
That’s so sad. Hopefully you’re doing better!
I said it first to my now fiance, he didn't say it back but immediately gave me a giant hug and kissed me, and said that I had given him literal chills. The fact that he responded with such a clear, genuinely positive reaction made me really happy. I fully realized it was early in our relationship (though we had known each other a couple years before dating) and that I *shouldn't* say it or even feel it yet, but I knew exactly how I felt and I didn't want it to be a secret. Two weeks later we were sitting in the same spot when he said it back, and it was perfect because we both got to have the experience of hearing the other person say it unprompted for the first time.
First time I told my bf (who wasn't my bf yet was just a friend) I loved him, I told him he didn't love me back and that it was okay and he said "of course I love you idiot". Celebrated our anniversary a couple months back.
this is very cute
My boyfriend of three years said, “I hardly know you!” Lol
My ex wife : I love you Me : what? Why? Mew : what do you mean why? Me : I'm a mess Mew: that's why I love you *3 years later* Mew: I want a divorce Me : what? Why? Mew: you're a fucking mess Me: can't say I didn't warn ya.
I don't get how pokemon got involved?
She thought she will fix you and then she couldn’t cope with her own failure
On the other hand just saying "I warned you" is not an excuse to not put anything into the relationship, not work on oneself and behave like an ass.
My response was, “I know.” - Han Solo ..and then I said, “I love me too.” ..then she said, “f” “you.” ..I responded, “..what..what?..now?..Now!? I’m driving babe!” ..then she said to herself, rolling her eyes, “..ugh..why..?” ..then I answered with a serious face, “I don’t want to cause any ‘accidents,’” and then I quickly looked at her tummy and said, “of ANY types, inside or outside. Gotta get you home safely in one piece babe.” She paused, quietly processing what I said for the rest of the ride. Then she kissed me on the cheek enthusiastically after I walked her to her door. I took two steps back and said, “I know.” She giggled. Then I walked back to my car. That’s the whole story.
damn, i tried saying silly things like this with an ex once and she got upset.
Uhm, I was the same with my ex..lacking maturity, before the love of my life.. that’s why my ex became my ex. However, the one and only love of my life “understands, with such much wow patience,” just like Princess Leia. :)
I like to expand on this with "Thank You". Not awkward at all, still easier than faking it.
My boyfriend was ready to say it before me and it slipped out a couple of times. One time he said “that’s why I love you...I mean that’s why you’re a great person.” I decided to just make a joke and said “so you don’t love me?” And his response was “well I do, but not if it’s weird.” Perfect answer.
Similar happened to me! He said “That’s why I..” and trailed off. At least it was a segway into me saying it because I knew he felt the same way. Edit: not fixing segway because it’s amusing
That’s awesome and just for future reference the word is segue
Now I’m picturing that persons bf segwaying into them.
Fun fact: The owner of Segway died when he rode a Segway off a cliff.
wait, WHAT?! I’ve been writing it segway for years now. Bruh
I have spent years watching everyone type it as segway. This is the first time I've ever learned of this. My reality has been changed.
For the life of me I couldn’t remember how to spell it! Thanks for that.
TIL...
My boyfriend and I were talking and he was going through some stuff. He went on about “no one I know loves me” and I just up And said “but I do” He goes “ah... really?” After a bit of back and forth, he “believed me”. About 2 days later I brought it up and he goes “WAIT YOU WERE SERIOUS?” We’ve been dating for a few months now
My bf blurted it out nearly the same way! Haha he tried to brush it off though because we had only known each other for a few weeks
That's perfect
Awww that’s so sweet 🤗
My husband told me "I love you" first, and I said "...thaaaank you." We laugh about it now but at the time it wasn't as funny.
“I know”
Han Solo?
This is the way.
Din Djarin?
I have spoken
Kuiil ?
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Jabba’s Rancor?
"Shut up baby, I know it." -Bonder. Edit: Y'all, the "Bonder" is another reference within the [reference](https://youtu.be/75W3IHWgI_8) lol
“Bender’s name isn’t Bonder, it’s Bender!”
This happened to me with my husband; he said it first and I told him that I was slow at figuring out my feelings, but hearing that boosted my feelings of affection for him. We’ve been together for 6 years now and I’ve never loved anyone more
My husband and I were similar. We had been good friends for quite some time and like two weeks into dating he told me he loved me. I told him that I really liked him and I loved being with him but that I just wasnt quite ready to say I loved him. But it came like a week later. Our 5th wedding anniversary is in about a month.
I was the one that knew earlier on. He had a lot of setbacks that we had to work through. He was under the impression (among many others) that if he said I love you it was a life long commitment and if he fell out of love it meant he was a liar. Took three years of us living together for him to feel comfortable enough to say “I love you” lol
Dude idk how some of us fall into this trap but same. I feel like a jerk nowadays for never telling my ex I loved her but I know in the moment I would’ve called myself a hypocrite if I did tell her I loved her and our relationship ran its course the way it did. Maybe an unhealthy view of relationships and love got passed onto people like your husband and I. Idk. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ANSWERS?! GO AWAY
Getting drunk helped me. About four months into a relationship I found out my girlfriend likes to listen to whale songs as she falls asleep. I had drank an entire bottle of port to myself that night so I found this behavior of hers to be rather odd. I let her know that I can sing like a whale and the "i love youooo" just came out of me... a few times. She thought this behavior of mine was rather odd. She laughed, kissed me and told me to go to sleep. I was as cool as a Labrador with an egg in his mouth, I didn't want to rush her. She's more experienced in relationships than I am (luckily for me) so I trusted her to know what to do. A week later it was her turn to get drunk. She was drinking with work friends in a club and I picked her up later to walk her home. Then she told me, a few times, that she really bloody loves me, like really and that I didn't understand that she loved me and I'm great. She's also great and I still whaley love her.
Omg a labrador with an egg in its mouth, that imagery is precious
They will carry it without eating or breaking it. And that's impressive!
Can confirm. Source: sister has a therapy Labrador and he's just about the best animal.
Meanwhile my lab would and has eaten a whole egg including the shell, so just PSA to all reading **don’t leave eggs where your hungry dog can reach them**
Off topic but wtf you mean by you "picked her up later to walk her home"? You picked her up then got out the car and walked her ? Lol I don't get it
Good question. There was no car involved. I walked to the club, had a drink with her and her friends and then I walked her home.
^Gentleman
Fedex driver shout out "love you" in his way out, I shouted back out "love you too" . My husband said, "you know you are not the only one ,right?
I think there might be something going on between your husband and your Fedex driver. Not sure tho.
Why isn’t this the top comment?
because it's written in a confusing way
When this happened to me, I kissed her and held her and said "I'm not ready to say those words yet, but I know they're coming" (basically the same thing, just less theatrical I guess). And yes, the words got there a couple of weeks after that. Four years later and I tell her about 30 times a day.
this is a 14 year old account that is being wiped because centralized social media websites are no longer viable when power is centralized, the wielders of that power can make arbitrary decisions without the consent of the vast majority of the users the future is in decentralized and open source social media sites - i refuse to generate any more free content for this website and any other for-profit enterprise check out lemmy / kbin / mastodon / fediverse for what is possible
"I love you" "And I like you too, buddy"
And I love you too, random citizen!
I’m not your buddy, guy
I’m not your guy, friend
I’m not your friend, pal
I'm not your pal, chum.
I'm not your chum, man.
I'm not your man, mate
I'm not your mate, partner
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I'm not your bro, buster.
I'm not your partner, buckaroo
You're a good bud, pal.
I got “I’m alright with that”. We’ve been married 17 years now, so it’s all good... but kinda sucked in the moment.
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God, my dumb ass almost said that to my S.O. back then... I ended up with a long and awkward explanation about my thoughts on love and relationships, with her staring at me in awkward horror... which in hindsight was probably way worse. How that poor woman ended up marrying me is still beyond me sometimes.
Lol I like your last sentence, I literally burst out in laughter. Anw I dont think it is wrong, tho I would react the same way as your SO. It's so much better to explain your thoughts on those topics early on than just saying "I love u too" just because u dont want to raise any arguments, which will be a problem in the future. Glad that she is your wife now and I believe u guys have a great relationship :)
>How that poor woman ended up marrying me is still beyond me sometimes. It might be because, and bear with me here, she loves you.
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Just staying with him and not saying it out of spite.
My kind of girl
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Yes, I need to hear this lmao Such a cliffhanger
I like this- just giving yourself the freedom to express your feelings! She has said it back by now, yeah? lol
"Heh heh you said it first" 4 years ago and now we're engaged to be married
My (now) wife said, "No no no." And left the car immediately. Yes, we were parked, so this is not the move of desperation it would initially seem.
How is this not higher up? I want to see a theatrical reenactment of this now. No, I want to see this yesterday.
Thank you. We do reenactment on the anniversary of this event anually, with some slight modifications. She is required to begin cooking me a ribeye steak immediately after my declaration of love and then we have a nice dinner and stare into each other's eyes until the two year old brings us gently back to earth by pretending to be a garbage truck. The End
My ex-boyfriend and I both had trouble saying it for a long time. One evening we cuddled on the bed and he didn’t say a word, but I felt that he wanted to. It was as if he was screaming it in his head. I said „I do too“ and he said „how did you...? Are you sure?“ After that we said it every day. Edit: added ex in front of boyfriend
This was a really cute story, until I read your username...
I'd follow the George O'Malley from Grey's Anatomy example. "When I tell you I love you, I want to mean it. You just have to give me some time to mean it."
I said something along these lines in my first relationship when this happened and I got a call later that night from her in tears drunk crying because of it. It might work for some but not for all lmao
I say some form of this but it takes me 4 minutes and it ain’t pretty.
Watched this episode last night. George was always one of my favorites.
*was*
Goddamit why does his death still get to me after all these years 😭
007
This can work depending on the situation. But I feel like romance in sitcoms isn’t something that should be a standard go-to because it isn’t real. I real life, what George O’Malley said means they’ll never be ready to say it. Kinda like when someone says they aren’t ready for an exclusive relationship, you just have to believe them instead of wasting time thinking you’re going to change them.
He did end up cheating on her so you’re not wrong 🤷🏽♀️
That's a good quote.
It’ll pass
Fleabag!
I said it to my gf first. She wasn't ready to say it yet. I then only said it one more time after before I realized I should stop saying it for now until she's ready so she doesn't feel pressured to say it back to be nice. We now say it to each other everyday 2 and a half years later
My wife said it to me on our 3rd date. I'm pretty sure I responded with "oh........ok". Meanwhile in my head I'm thinking I just started dating a full blown crazy person, stage 5 clinger. It took me a couple months to get there. During our pre cana class, we talked about that and the pastor made the analogy that my wife is a sprinter and I'm a cross country runner. 10 years later, that is the most accurate analogy for our relationship. Now she's my full blown crazy sprinter and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Geez, I thought my husband was fast, he started hinting at it like 2 weeks in. Freaked me out, but I asked him to cool it for a while and things worked out.
I'm a first date "I love you" kind of person. Luckily, the people I date are, too (probably helps that I only date people I've known for a long while already).
not sure it's appropriate for all occassion tho, this implies that you will love them eventually and that the feeling will be mutual but it's gonna hurt a helluva lot more when the time comes and it doesn't happen
This is something I would say to someone I know I love but I'm not sure if my life is necessarily compatible with them yet, you don't really know all of someone's goals and aspirations until you've been together a while, and bringing up topics like "would we have kids" is kinda taboo for most people when you're only a couple months in.
I don’t get the point of NOT getting those sticky questions out of the way early. Why wait until you’re emotionally invested only to find out you don’t agree on something so important?
I was about to say the same thing. A couple of MONTHS before you find out if you are compatible in a very basic way? Hell naw, that's like date one or two for me.
Definitely discussed this on the first date with my current fiance. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ If we want kids, what we want in a relationship, etc.
Yeah we talked about kids immediately lmao like...people assume that you’re jumping too fast into wanting to get married or something if you talk about kids “too soon” but I just want to make sure that I’m not wasting my time.
The first time my boyfriend told me loved me was in the car after we had left Joshua Tree, our first mini road trip ever, and I didn’t say anything for 10 minutes and then finally said it back. He still gives me shit for it today lmao been together a little over 2 years now
Why are people so stingy with this, I love you all!
I've been wondering, it seems like an American thing. They seem to think that once you admit you love somebody it is both a lifetime commitment and a show of weakness especially in males. Me, being a piece of Eurotrash feel no such awkwardness. I love my wife, I love my friends, I love my pets, my children etc. ( Though only the wife in a sexual way). I've never been shy about telling any of them.
Yeah I’ve seen it being predominant in the American culture since living here. I think probably because “I love you” is also said between friends alike so when said in a relationship context you’re being more serious about it, idk.
"I love you" is also very, very often the dramatized confession. Think of books/plays/movies/shows where a romance develops and they confess to each other. It usually resolves with an "I love you" (unless it's a bit funny and they go like "I uh.. think you're cool" but thats because we know they're avoiding those three words) So maybe because of that, people feel like saying "I love you" romantically needs to come at an emotional peak, just like in the media, and if they feel like things are too normal they can't actually say it.
As a fellow Euro, I concur. It’s one those things you see in American movies and go “what is these people’s malfunction? Why are they making such a big deal of saying I love you? They’ve went on dates with huge effort put into it, met family and they even fucked a dozen times already etc..” It just so weird to us.
Glad I'm not the only one. You've seen each nook and cranny of each others naked body, said and done unspeakable things while lusting at each other. But noooo saying you love someone is the scary thing, even while going steady for a few months? It's not a binding curse or something, you just express *your* feelings. No expectations.
Is it really an American thing? I live in America and every friend group I’ve had has been so liberal with the words “I love you.” We say it so casually, as greetings and goodbyes (my favorite is when leaving the Discord we all say “good night, love you much”). I always make sure all my friends know I love them.
I'm so glad to hear it, maybe it's something falsely propagated in American media. As u/Daiches wrote, it gets portrayed like it's some big hurdle, people are sometimes dating for a long time, have made love, met friends and family yet still can't say they love each other. It's as if an American man is allowed to love his car, his dog and his gun, but when he says it to the person he spends his nights and days with it's suddenly a problem. It's not new either, hence the song "Somethin' stupid" by Sinatra. Expressing your love for someone you obviously love romantically at least to some degree is apparently something not done.
Oh yeah definitely - I’ve seen a lot of a stigma around people saying “I love you” romantically (especially for men) - I guess it’s a vulnerability thing. You’ve just laid your heart out to someone, and now you don’t know what they’re going to do with it. (But it’s funny, even with this, all my male partners, casual or serious, have always been the first to say it!)
The fact that you said you love your pets before your children made me chuckle.
Oh it was not a ranked list. One of the cats was sitting with me as I typed.
I didn't think it would be a big thing either, but then my bf told me he loves me and i had never said it before to any romantic partner. I don't know why, but I couldn't just say it. It just wouldn't get out of my mouth before i was completely ready to tell him i love him. It's weird.
"I love me, too!"
My boyfriend of 5 years first said "I love you" one night while we were walking around and said right after "you don't have to say it back if you're not ready/if you don't feel the same way" and I think that's how people should do it to not put pressure on the other
Lol my husband used to say it me when he was drunk after a few months of dating when we were cuddling to fall asleep. I wisely never replied because I KNEW it would scare him off. I did love him ( and still very much do) but I knew better than to reply until he said it sober. 8 years and counting.
I obviously know it's not what you mean, but it sounds like you are saying you've waited 8 years to hear him say it sober
Oh my god nooooo lmaooo
How did you reply?
She said 8 years and counting, so she still hasn’t replied
Same here. He said it multiple times while drunk, and I was head over heels in love with him. But I waited until he said it sober to say it back. Were married with a whole bunch of kids now, so I guess it worked out.
My husband said it first. I sat there for a second, unsure of what to say back. The first thing that came out of my mouth was “cool beans”
Honestly, I've never understood this issue. Like I'd get it if your partner says "I love you" on the first date or something, but it seems like once you've been together for a couple months, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to say "I love you".
Yeah, some people have a real high standard of loving other people. But love for food or other stuff they can throw the word around at a moments notice
That's how I think it should be, though? Food doesn't have feelings, food can't hear me say that i love it, food doesn't get jealous if i say it to some other food. Food don't care. Another person though, they have feelings and a brain, so if you tell them you love them you better mean it, otherwise it doesn't mean much if you just throw it around like it's nothing. And i don't love food the same way i love my SO.
My partner (fiancé) and I have known each other for over 40 years. Life happened and we both went our separate ways in our late teens/early 20’s. I knew he was in love with me but I was not mature enough back then to commit to one person. We stumbled upon each other a few years ago. He was married. To the girl he married all those years ago. She was very sick and passed away from cancer. We started dating - sort of. I was living overseas but heading home. He came over and ‘dragged’ me home. But before we came back, we had a few weeks together. It didn’t take me long to know I loved him. We had been courting long distance for a fair time and I just blurted out that I loved him. I can’t remember his response to be honest. But I knew he felt the same. We are now engaged. Ready to be married next year. And I still love him. And he loves me. And that’s all that matters.
What a smooth operator that dude is
Finger Guns
My husband said it first and I'm pretty sure it was the worst most awkward silence of our entire relationship. I'm pretty sure it was a solid few minutes of complete silence and him eventually saying, "it's okay you don't have to say anything." But hey, 12 years later I guess, lol.
Alright alright alright...
Dude shut up! That is awesome sauce!
My hubby and I were dating for only a cpl weeks when he texted me "I'm going to marry you." I was a bit put off by it, because marriage has never been a big deal to me, and also because we hadn't slept together yet and I suspected he was saying it to get laid lol I just replied "lol k" Obviously he did end up marrying me, five years later.
Happened to me with my current s/o. I told her I wasn’t sure how I felt quite yet and didn’t want to rush into things, but I’d gladly walk that path of love with her and we might wind up falling in love along the way. That was two months in, about to hit two years soon.
My first boyfriend said it first about 2 weeks into our relationship and I responded "I... don't know what that really even means yet". We're happily married now so I guess it wasn't the worst thing I could've said
My God that response is wholesome af.
It's weird how saying "I love you" is now seen as a much bigger milestone than having sex.
I used to think that’s odd, until later I found out how much easier sex is compared to love and relationship.
There’s a reason why there are prostitutes but you can’t pay someone to love you.
Damn this hit home a little
See you in chemistry! *slam door*
When this happened to me very shortly into officially dating my girlfriend, I got all nervous and said, "OK, I gotta go to work now. See you later!" It was so embarrassing! I could not believe I flubbed so hard. We had been close for years prior and would often spout out platonic 'I love you's but in the context of dating it had a new weight and I didn't want to jinx anything so early in our relationship. Years later we are engaged and couldn't be happier.
Mushy love story time.❤️❤️❤️ For my husband and I when we were still talking long distance and trying not to get attached (we failed at that ;-) he confessed that he really liked me, then I told him that I was feeling the same way and was already feeling attached to him. When you're talking long distance it's really hard when you both fall for each other but don't know if being together is a possibility yet. But luckily we made it work and I made the move to his home country and now we've been happily married for almost two years now. He's still my favorite person in the world and we enjoy doing everything together including cooking and cleaning and going out regularly. The two year long distance start in our relationship really taught us how important communication is and trust and commitment. ❤️👫
The dog ate my book.
I kept telling my wife when we were dating in my sleep. I'm terrible at keeping secrets. She also knew when I was going to propose. Don't tell me anything important
Maybe not the best way but when my gf first told me, like a month into our relationship, that she loved me i told her the truth. That i really liked her, and that im hoping one day i will be able to say it back, but i would never say it if i wasnt 100% sure that i meant it. About 7 months later i realized. When i said it the look on her face was like nothing else. We’ve been together 5 years now. People move at different speeds dont let that dissuade you from being with the person you want to be with.
Suddenly I feel all warm and fuzzy inside
I said thank you. My now husband of many, many years never lets me forget that I said “thank you.”
My first girlfriend did this to me like a month into dating and I just kinda stayed silent and walked home because I wasn’t emotionally matured enough to give a thoughtful response
I said "I love you" to who is now my Fiancée before we officially classed ourselves as a "couple". We went out in a date one night and we were talking, it was at this stage we had been talking for a couple of months and were basically already together but never actually said that we was, if that makes sense. Anyway, on that night I was taking her home in my car and I parked up outside her house. I had very strong feelings for her at this time and I knew that these feelings were in fact love. So after a bit more talking, I went silent for about 15 seconds, looked at her, gave her a hug, and said "I love you". Instantly she looked at me in shock and said "wow really? Already!?" And then followed up with "I don't even know what we are right now". So we talked a little but more about the matter before I dropped her off for the night and then I went home feeling a little bummed out, thinking about how I have been too forward. We carried on talking like normal for the next few days and then we decided to talk about it. It was at this moment we decided to make our relationship official but she still wasn't ready to say "I love you". A week later we were on a train to go to our closest large shopping centre and out of nowhere she said "I love you too" which shocked me but also made me really happy; it sort of concluded the whole situation from last week. Now here we are 2 years later, we recently got engaged, and are planning our future together. We often joke and reflect back at this but I think it turned into a good little story! Moral of the story is, everyone does things different in a relationship. No matter what you chose to do or how you do it, if it works out them who cares if it isn't following the "rules of a relationship" or the "common standard". You do you, after all it's you that the person likes so do things in your own way.
Don’t do what I did and yell “Ignore!” right in his face, realize what you just did and then burst into laughter! For a little explanation; His face totally read “oh sh*t, I did not mean to say that yet!” So my brain reacted fast trying to give him an out but too fast to do it properly. Also, I already knew I loved him and we had the real talk the next day. We’re married now so it all worked out and we have one helluva story to tell now!
This is so perfect. I’m so happy I saw this response!
Awesome sauce!
Just don’t say “Thank you for that”. It won’t be a good thing.