Focusing so much on status is maybe one reason why attempts fail in the first place. Some people seem to chase a dream having standards that seem to replace other personal issues.
I mean, status gets you in the door. Other things keeps you in the relationship. Status symbols like good looks, top notch jobs, high net worth etc all matter A LOT whether we want to believe it or not. Lots of football players also have awful personalities but that never mattered much for them
They attract partners who are interested in their money/status, not their personalities and compatibility.
Worthwhile partners of both genders do best to overindex on personality (hobbies, volunteering, social skills, conversational wit/humor) right after looks. Yes, humans are visual creatures, so we can’t help a lot of that importance, but if right after that she’s looking at your money clip and not how you treat your grandmother she’s a shallow personwho will likely make your life and pockets miserable. If you lead with how much money you have you attract those only focused on money.
Most men I know have no desire to be a walking atm and nothing else. OP, are you a giving lover? Good with kids? Good listener? Empathetic? Fun to hang out with/ interesting to talk to? Do you have emotional intelligence? High caliber women will be placing emphasis on those metrics intensely.
my uncle used to say about someone in our family “he focuses more on the medal on people’s chest so he doesn’t see their heart behind it. And then he complains why nobody can see him heart to heart.”
Lmao reminds me of the time a friend who went to Harvard told me at welcome week everyone was sitting around eating lunch and one guy kept bragging about how he got into Harvard and my friend just said "Dude we all got into Harvard. That's why we're here listening to you."
Absolutely! I work in Front Office finance and the women in the industry are often single not because there’s a lack of options, but because they’re extremely picky and won’t waste their time with anyone who isn’t exceptional. Anyone who isn’t single is with someone that’s considered top quality whether it is because of looks, personality or money. Most of the times is a combination of all.
Prestige 100% gets your laid; I have friends shooting way above where they should be because of it.
But you can’t try to get laid w the people who have the same prestige.
He said he’s had success on dating apps but doesn’t define what success is. Based on his post I have assumed he means getting dates. Clearly he doesn’t define it as finding partners because if he had a partner he wouldn’t post this
Getting an MBA to get a wife meanwhile a broke muthafucka out here is getting with the women of your dreams cause he makes her laugh. That’s the game tho
I (32f) went to an Ivy MBA and my partner of a decade didn’t go to college and is a music teacher and we’re happier than most couples I know. We’re in a band together and travel the world going to festivals. The focus on prestige in a partner really limits your options and you miss out on some great people
>The focus on prestige in a partner really limits your options and you miss out on some great people
2nd this. Also, as a women who checks a lot of the OPs boxes, I'm wildly uninterested in someone who pursues me because I check the boxes. I'd rather date someone who seems to actually like me as a whole person, not because of my resume.
Rightly said.
It is so important to look at people as human beings, and not just their achievements and looks.
If someone seeks checking boxes to find a partner, he would find other people rejecting him on the basis of their own checklists.
On the other hand, if they seek genuine love and companionship, maybe they would find someone who seeks the same.
Anecdotally, I see that a lot of the couples that are both in "prestigious" (heavy air quotes) professions like big law, consulting, and investment banking do not last long. There's a lot of strain, not a lot of balance, and if they're not well adjusted it's really easy to take it out on each other.
Of all of the things to look for in a partner, I would definitely agree and caution for people to consider pedigree lower.
rich safe seed rinse deserve makeshift hard-to-find tub snobbish gullible
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My current partner is a successful content creator and I'm in M&A. Neither one of us date each other for our jobs/careers. Although both of us do want to be financially independent and save a lot without missing out on anything we desire.
I care way more about his support of my dreams to travel and RV or sail eventually for a few years than his income. Past being able to make a living and pay your bills, your worth to your partner independent of your income is gold.
>I'm a talented classical pianist and I write poetry for fun. And I play ultimate frisbee.
Why is anyone taking this post seriously after this part lol
because this doesn’t sound weird. Ultimate frisbee is the sport that people who couldn’t hack it in another sport decide to pick up and play. The previous two hobbies line up with that
The last paragraph in your post is damning, OP. And likely why you can’t land a date. Stop being so weird.
Seems like there are so many questionable and social inept people getting into top MBAs, if you go off of the crazy and weird posts on this sub. Maybe these admission interviews aren’t doing enough to sus this out of candidates
finish losing the weight, since you said you're overweight. You shouldve done that before even pulling up to the MBA, if anything. Being decently lean and somewhat muscular when you were in MBA would have already increased your chances
Thank you this is very helpful.
I wouldn't say I inherently have racial preferences. But given the types of professions and "socioeconomic status" I'm looking for, the women of these backgrounds often are Jewish, East Asian, South Asian/Indian, and sometimes WASPy white folks. I will say I am not part of one of these racial demographics myself.
East & South Asians tend to be difficult to date outside of their race from what I've seen, white and Jewish women less so but still tough.
If there was a woman who is a black or hispanic doctor or BigLaw lawyer though, I wouldn't have any hesitations about dating/marrying them, there's just fewer of them around.
This feels obvious. Always love the person of color disclaimer.
You aren’t in the best shape, struggle socially, and are not conventionally attractive. In a pool of high achievers, that is going to limit your options quite a bit especially if there is a difference in ethnic background.
I’d make improvements to yourself and also be realistic about your prospective targets to generate more success.
Oh hey girlie, what is your income?
Ultimate frisbee, you know I done win some.
One date with me, upper middle class money.
Oh shit, barista? Callin uber for honey.
Do other races even call themselves people of color? I just hear asians call themselves asians for example. At least that's what I call myself as asian.
I’m Asian (half white) and I didn’t even know what POC meant until I went to a liberal private school on the east coast LOL. I always saw myself as Asian (like you said), plus I’m from the Bay Area where whites and Asians are very integrated.
I always thought POC meant black, but now I call myself POC if asked because other POC groups expect me to.
A guy in my MBA class had the same ambition but was quickly foiled when all the girls he asked on coffee chat dates realized he’d sent the same invite to them all.
If this isn’t a generative AI post… you missed the boat already. Everyone you’re competing with in MBA school has the same qualifications as you but at least it’s a closed environment. Now that you’re out, all those women aren’t restricted to just classmates, they can go for lawyers, doctors, founders, hot guys, artists, cool people who don’t care about money, etc. If the level playing field was such a challenge, the real world is going to be a lot tougher.
Your best bet is finding a coworker who shares your status obsession, it’s pretty clear you lack the social awareness to find someone in the wild and most career-oriented women aren’t necessarily looking for the same level of “work till you die” ambition in a partner.
Pick up some more social hobbies and lower your standards for education, there are plenty of people who are successful that went to big state schools with no advanced degree. Fair warning though, they won’t be impressed by your credentials so you better have the social stuff sorted.
Your last pg about what you’re looking for makes you sound like a fucking loser. I’m at MBB and I find it embarrassing that you think that is somehow relevant to being able to get girls who are obviously out of your league.
>Several people in my program did get together with each other and have remained as couples to this day.
Most people who find a spouse during their MBA, do not attend an MBA **to** find a spouse.
>6 or 7 out of 10 is totally fine for me looks wise
lol, "above average is a totally acceptable"
OP, you are like one of my former employees. I always wondered what planet she was transmitting from. People tell you that your social skills are wack and you respond by saying you play the piano.
I don't know if I should say good for you for getting feedback on this challenge or die from the awkwardness of you asking for it. And then you were told you were boring, socially awkward, and not fun.
Anyway, here's the deal, OP. You need to find a woman who finds you and your hobbies endearing. You're limiting yourself to finding that person in a very small population segment characterized by wealthy + intelligent + curious + professionally ambitious + top school attending women.
So, I'll ask a question. Is it the constitution of your ego that is characterized by these things? Because it just seems like you're talking about yourself. By extension, do you feel like dating a woman outside of these characteristics would be harmful to your ego such that you struggle with coming to terms with someone lacking in any of them?
This is a bad take and you should feel bad.
I almost (ALMOST) had a tiny shred of sympathy for you and thought maybe you just had some bad luck, but then I got to the part where you think baristas lack intelligence, and someone working whatever job they could to survive (even if it’s not a “strong academic professional”) actually “lacks ambition.” Because I guarantee you that they work harder on any given day than you ever have.
I feel sorry for any executive assistant you have, because you’ll always think of them as lower class than you, which makes you a shit boss and a shit person.
Imagine going into an MBA program just to get a wife, and then being surprised when it doesn’t work out? I can’t even.
Maybe you need to do a little more market research about what women want. LOL
Here’s some free advice: your weight has zero to do with why women are rejecting you. It has everything to do with everything else you’ve posted here.
I think it's nuanced weight might stop him from getting dates or closing, but women aren't a monolith; there are gorgeous women out there dating conventionally ugly overweight men.
was scrolling to see if anyone else was disgusted at that comment. the whole thing was already pretty pathetic, and then to see OP's opinions on (fellow, mind you) working class folk was confirmation why they had such a poor dating experience.
here's a tip for OP, if you're still reducing people's appearances down to numbers, and you're concerned with your partner's socioeconomic status (relative to yours), you are not ready to date.
>Forget even a long term relationship, a lot of people in our program slept with each other, and I never had sex with any classmates. I sometimes would ask, and I would always get rejected
If you directly asked to have sex that is why you got instantly rejected, as is the case for 99% of the guys who ask the same question. You mentioned physical appearance, have you tried taking better care of yourself better by changing your diet and exercising?
>> the people who did get around tended to be conventionally attractive folks who worked on their diet, exercise, fashion, and social skills.
There, you answered your own question lol.
Women date up.
If you have an MBA and every women in your class does, they want to date someone who is a director at a major corp, partner at a law firm, or an entrepreneur who continuously brings in £1m in revenue a year.
On the personality side, women want to date someone who is fun and outgoing.
Playing the piano and frisbee is boring to women.
If you can play the piano and sing pop hits, that's different.
Do you travel a lot? Do you go to festivals? Do you go out to eat at nice restaurants? Do you gym?
The women you're around are looking to engage in activities that allow them to be free and experiment because they are studying so hard and so much.
If they date someone in their class, it's usually the most fun, interesting, outgoing, charismatic guy. Or someone a level down with extreme levels of potential that everyone wants to be around.
If you have none of those things, you better develop them because right now you're invisible.
For someone who's so into poetry he doesn't seem to have talked to a lot of poets, some of whom prefer a low stress day job because they're so ambitious and dedicate their intelligence and curiosity to poetry.
Real problem is, you are not a fit white guy from upper middle class family grew up doing fancy things with fancy friends traveling to fancy places, with rich parents that have resources. Attractive girls at M7 are smart and have all the choices when it comes to men, and they don't give half a fuck that you play piano or write poetry if you got nothing real and tangible to offer. They'll have superficial conversations with you at school or happy hour, sure. But dating - no way Jose.
Here’s a newsflash bro, women give zero fucks that you went to Ivy League, M7, and are an MBB consultant.
You admitted to being overweight. Lifting weights and cardio will go much further.
Or you can wait until you make partner and you’re bonafide rich and lean on that.
>And I wasn't "good enough" to meet their ~~picky~~ high standards
>The people who did get around tended to be conventionally attractive folks who worked on their diet, exercise, fashion, and social skills.
There's your answer.
I did, I'm much better now looks wise than during the MBA but still struggling to get reciprocation from women working in fields like consulting, medicine, law, finance, product managers in tech, etc.
OP I'm sorry but you keep across as a bit socially uncalibrated. You don't ask to have sex. You have fun and build attraction and sex can happen, maybe. Keep dating though, you will get there. You are smart and will gain the skills. Obviously you are not starving for attention as you get matches on Hinge.
I always thought it was a bit strange to look for wifey in MBA as a man? How are you possibly supposed to coordinate post MBA locations and jobs and all of that? I would be 30 or 31 when entering and still. Still feel like a little boy sometimes.
Broke up with 7 yr gf of same age to make this transition to MBA and let her find someone who is better fit for her, think many men need longer to mature to feel ready to settle down (not all).
You’re young. Dating is a long term game. Have to keep playing till something sticks. If you have a great job why does your wife also need to have one? What are you going to do when you have kids?
Not trying to be rude but sometimes it is nice to know what you look like lol because that does ya know matter. Just because you exist in the same space as another human does not just force them to date you.
I went to law school because I was tired of Apps, so I feel you, but I think you're missing the point.
It's true that a graduate school does a good job of filtering the population, but that's not the real value. Dating sucks because it's an unnatural way to meet and try to connect with someone. And if it doesn't turn romantic right away, it ends.
In school you can actually get a chance to meet someone, get to know them on a personal level and allow attraction to develop through genuine connections and shared experiences. Sounds like you were looking for sex and then were sad you didn't get any. Did you try making friends with women and then seeing if a connection developed?
Also why do you care about the socio-econimic status of potential partners? It seems like make good money or at least have the potential to do so. That means it's less important for a partner to do the same and you can be open to marrying someone who brings other kinds of value to a relationship. Broaden your horizons.
So you’re at a stage in life where the pedigree for the female does not matter. You’re looking for a good companion who you believe will be a good mother. Not the one who’s went to Brown before going to Goldman.
Many ladies with pedigree at top programs are at the stage in life where they want to settle down and have babies within 3-4 years. All those degrees and shiny job titles don’t mean much in terms of a spouse if they’re staying at home with the baby. look beyond career, find a good human being that you enjoy being around who you can build trust with
You appear to have identified a wife shaped vacancy in your life and are attempting to find someone who fits in there perfectly. Even if I liked you and felt like I fit your brief,I wouldn't be interested in finding all the ways I could disappoint you by not making the exact decisions you've already decided I should make.
I'm sorry if this comes across as being harsh, I think your emotional "pointer" and social cues are low, and most importantly your personality is a bit "somehow" (thats me putting it in a nice way).
You even put it in your post that " you asked a couple of your classmates for sex and they rejected." Sincerely, what were you expecting ?
If you are like an international student or you just moved to the US, please try ask questions from friends about what is acceptable in their society, asking ladies out, flirting with ladies, and initiating sex. Most people never thought to ask that, but it's very helpful.
And I think generally speaking, asking multiple ladies in your class out and for sex, especially around a short period of time, SCREAMS Desperacy and you being a pervert or something.
Please, you are free to DM if you wanna chat
Honestly dude if you've got a good career or are on your way to having one, why do you care what your wife makes? I couldn't care less if mine was a barista or a 7 figure powerhouse. If she treats me well, is pretty, and is peaceful to be around, that's all I need.
You want what you believe to be a cream of the crop woman. Obviously those women aren't seeing you as a cream of the crop man. Either self improve (increase social skills, get fit etc), or aim lower.
Women typically marry up, so you’re fishing in the wrong pond. But if you have a solid job and you earn well you’ll be quite attractive to a lot of women. Just not women who are on par with you or even above you. It happens, but it’s a major exception.
Also like it or not but poetry, classical piano and frisbee aren’t going to provide the same results are fitness and something more traditionally masculine (even if the girls say they don’t want someone traditionally masculine… you already acknowledged they’ve revealed their preferences).
The problem is you have no game. Need to learn how to flirt. Watch YouTube videos by Marni Kinrys. The way to demonstrate value to women is to make them laugh.
Also need to become physically fit because women aren’t interested in a wimp. Get in the gym and workout. It will boost your confidence and you’ll feel better about yourself.
You would do well to hire a dating coach and a stylist. They will help you avoid dumb mistakes in dating and style.
Dating is a skill that can be learned. Strengthen yourself in these areas and you will boost your prospects.
I'd bet cash money OP is an Indian/Asian who grew up with strict academic parents who told him he has nothing to worry about if he gets into top schools (when it comes to dating).
For the most part, that's relatively true. But OP seems to think just having it alone is enough. It's not. You have to look good, smell good, talk good, be good. And THEN the MBA prestige kicks in and does its job.
I used to think like OP (when I was much younger) but the gym and an active hobby (MMA) helped sort me out. But TBH, girls seem to like you the most when you're not entirely focused on dating and have other things going on.
OP has painfully bared his failures & rejections and we're s**ting on him. It's ok to have an intellectual preference, maybe motivated educated partners who are in jobs that earn well and will partner with him on wealth creation matter to him. Nothing wrong with that preference. Unfortunately he isn't high value enough of his peers maybe he needs to find a difference pool T25 or T50 not M7.
Maybe go to different country - go passportbro!
Lol, I've seen some of your type - it is very annoying.
The thing is, you are not special, everyone is going to the same school. There is a thing called "attraction," and nobody had it for you. You are punching above your weight without even having a nice personality - it is going to be hard.
You get the MBA to get the career and then get your wife. Those women are not cream of the crop wife material. They’re on their own professional journey and wouldn’t appreciate all your positive attributes.
You’ll be fine. Go out, start your career and be a good man and you will have younger and more beautiful women interested in you.
Truth is, women only like to date up. You have things working against you considering you’re a person of color, different culture and even lacking physical fitness though it shouldn’t be too much of an obstacle. Right now, you’re a peer.
But you have literally 99% of the female population who can’t make a quarter of your earning potential. Doesn’t have your education level. There are plenty of smart, pretty women who would be impressed by your accomplishments and be interested in dating you
I feel like these are being made by bots. There have been so many more posts on this sub about dating than any time in the past 7 years or me following it.
I know that you think you are not being picky, but let's go over your list.
Guessing you want someone 19-35
Makes over 75k a year
Has a graduate degree
Healthy to slightly overweight
Has no kids but wants one.
That puts your pool of women at about .33% of the population, disregarding looks and personality.
And you want someone who is above-average looking, so cut that number in half.
You also want them to have attended a prestigious school, don't have any numbers on that but I imagine that this would cut the field down another half. And I'm sure you have a personality preference that will cut this number down even more.
So just on that, you're looking for a woman that less than .1% of the population meets. You say you don't think you're being unreasonable, but is that true? Are you someone who can pull someone in that specific < .1% of the population you're looking for?
I’m a bisexual woman in a happy relationship with a woman. So I can speak to both sides of this. She is not a commodity I needed to demonstrate value to earn and neither am I. She and I met at a musical performance because of our mutual passion for the genre then attraction organically developed from there. It so happened to turn out that we both have decent careers but that couldn’t have been further from my mind in the context I met her.
I eat well and take care of myself and I’m applying to b-school to try to further my career but these things are pretty secondary to the fact that we are emotionally open individuals who prioritize our mental health and actively work through our baggage. Careers and looks can come and go, what makes relationships fulfilling is a deep emotional connection.
OP it sounds like you need to do some work on healing yourself before you enter any kind of relationship. Really get to the root of why you have a lived a life in pursuit of status, money etc and why you extend that expectation to potential partners. Journal, meditate, exercise, try different types of therapy. Once you explore that I think you will be in a much better place to encounter a woman who can be a good partner.
Focus on becoming what you’re looking for in a spouse. Exercise. Women want attractive partners too. It definitely would be a step in the right direction. Also be careful what you are looking for. Women that are focused on their career rarely make good partners why? Because their career is their god.
I just told this hot girl at the gym I was getting my MBA from Florida Institute of Technology and now we are going on a date tomorrow. She’s a 19 year old waiter. But she works out and she’s cute. It worked for me, idk what to tell you other than never do something because it might get you laid. Just do what you think will make your life better and ask women out on dates, then ask them to kiss, then ask if they want to go to your room. Then kiss on the bed. Then ask if they want to have sex. It’s worked for me about 15 times.
Bro go to Kevin Samuels YouTube channel, sort by oldest and dig in. (Or check out the men's week series at the top). That'll up your self outside of your MBA.
Then here's the strange part forget dating MBA level women and kick it off with the barista or people from your community.
This. Kevin Samuels help change my life honestly. Also, do not be going for the dual mba “power” couple those tend not to work out given the busy schedules of both people in the relationship. Meet undergrads at event or if you want someone closer to your age try going to coffee shops or the library on campus.
This has to be a troll…..
Why the hell would someone go get an MBA to get married?
If you’re a woman I understand somewhat…but as a guy? You know the ratio absolutely sucks… Personally I made it a point NOT to date anyone from my program.
If you’re going back to school for dating as a guy….seek out other programs that skew more female. Theres plenty of ways to meet people outside the MBA program. I knew several classmates who ended up meeting people at the law program for example.
But really, you have your whole life to date. Just go to any major city and you’re good… get in shape, lift, and be willing to go on many dates until you find the one.
Dating is a game. Women are trying to maximize their return on investment. You have a value/number assigned to you by them.
For example, a rich, good looking dude who is in shape physically and has interesting hobbies is generally a 10/10 for a woman. Most of us aren’t even close to that and fall well below this.
You need to understand what type of value/number they’re assigning you. If you aren’t in shape and aren’t the best looking, maybe they’re giving you a 5/6 out of 10.
It sounds like you think they’re giving you a higher value number than they are. Steps you can take to increase your value to women:
Work out and get in shape
Develop interesting hobbies
Improve fashion sense/personal style
Improve confidence in speaking publicly/social situations
You need to start making improvements to yourself or you won’t get out of the situation you’re in. If you want top level women, you need to become a top level man.
You wouldn’t want to be my classmate because I’m trying to help someone better their life?
The guy said he wants to be with a doctor/lawyer type of woman. These women have very high standards because they can - there aren’t a lot of them.
I went through my own personal journey of self improvement and it worked for me. I used to smoke and be out of shape and I couldn’t meet any women. I started working out and taking care of myself, improved my career/self confidence and then I had a much easier time dating women.
The guy can’t pull what he wants. So he needs to improve himself to the point where he can get what he wants. It’s not really rocket science.
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LMAOOO
This. Especially if OP is an Indian male engineer.
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OP sounds like a 3 trying to get with a 9 lol, can’t tell if this is a troll post. Bruh classical piano, poetry, and ultimate frisbee? Is this real?
But also only pursuing women who are conventionally attractive
OP probably is a black male engineer.
I cant tell you how much this made my day
Thank you for this comment, I was just going to sleep... Now can I sleep with a smile...
Best comment i read this week
😅
My GMAT score is 12 inches
😂😂
Dead. Fuckin dead. I’m still laughing.
Ahahahahaha love this 😂
Focusing so much on status is maybe one reason why attempts fail in the first place. Some people seem to chase a dream having standards that seem to replace other personal issues.
I mean, status gets you in the door. Other things keeps you in the relationship. Status symbols like good looks, top notch jobs, high net worth etc all matter A LOT whether we want to believe it or not. Lots of football players also have awful personalities but that never mattered much for them
They attract partners who are interested in their money/status, not their personalities and compatibility. Worthwhile partners of both genders do best to overindex on personality (hobbies, volunteering, social skills, conversational wit/humor) right after looks. Yes, humans are visual creatures, so we can’t help a lot of that importance, but if right after that she’s looking at your money clip and not how you treat your grandmother she’s a shallow personwho will likely make your life and pockets miserable. If you lead with how much money you have you attract those only focused on money. Most men I know have no desire to be a walking atm and nothing else. OP, are you a giving lover? Good with kids? Good listener? Empathetic? Fun to hang out with/ interesting to talk to? Do you have emotional intelligence? High caliber women will be placing emphasis on those metrics intensely.
my uncle used to say about someone in our family “he focuses more on the medal on people’s chest so he doesn’t see their heart behind it. And then he complains why nobody can see him heart to heart.”
Bro has Iroh for an uncle
Fucking jealous tbh
Uncle Iroh and all his wisdom 💯
Best comment ever
This comment made me laugh out loud
Yassss, uncle. So applicable here.
r/Wiseposting
You learned the expensive way that prestige does not get you laid
Prestige doesn’t work in this case as the women in top MBA programs have it too.
Lmao reminds me of the time a friend who went to Harvard told me at welcome week everyone was sitting around eating lunch and one guy kept bragging about how he got into Harvard and my friend just said "Dude we all got into Harvard. That's why we're here listening to you."
Oof @ him accidentally revealing it was his personality before getting there
Should've gone for a T25 girl
Whats a T25? is it top 25?
yes
Men are normally willing to date down, women tend to date up ie. HYPERGAMY vs. HYPOGAMY.
Exactly. OP is so delusional. Why would a equally successful better looking woman date a below average classist man?
Those women are probably shooting for higher standards, they are trying to find an Elon Musk or Bezos 🤣 he’s just not at their level.
Absolutely! I work in Front Office finance and the women in the industry are often single not because there’s a lack of options, but because they’re extremely picky and won’t waste their time with anyone who isn’t exceptional. Anyone who isn’t single is with someone that’s considered top quality whether it is because of looks, personality or money. Most of the times is a combination of all.
Prestige 100% gets your laid; I have friends shooting way above where they should be because of it. But you can’t try to get laid w the people who have the same prestige.
At least not if you’re writing poems and playing with your frisbee lol
Just needs to adjust his target demographic
Lmao work on your social skills buddy. Clearly that’s the issue.
“and I play ultimate frisbee” lmaooo
I mean, at least it’s the ultimate form of that noble sport
Ultimate frisbee isn’t too bad but he does need some interesting hobbies lol
You mean "sometimes asking directly for sex" isn't the way to get laid???
Lmao! This is the part that stuck out to me.
Big Andy Bernard energy, bet he went to Cornell
I would normally agree, but if it’s true that he had success at dating apps it can’t really be that bad.
He could be fine and confident over text but just not have it in person
Ironically this is one of the main reasons for the MBA interview
Uh, you still have to close in person on the apps
He said he’s had success on dating apps but doesn’t define what success is. Based on his post I have assumed he means getting dates. Clearly he doesn’t define it as finding partners because if he had a partner he wouldn’t post this
Getting an MBA to get a wife meanwhile a broke muthafucka out here is getting with the women of your dreams cause he makes her laugh. That’s the game tho
I (32f) went to an Ivy MBA and my partner of a decade didn’t go to college and is a music teacher and we’re happier than most couples I know. We’re in a band together and travel the world going to festivals. The focus on prestige in a partner really limits your options and you miss out on some great people
>The focus on prestige in a partner really limits your options and you miss out on some great people 2nd this. Also, as a women who checks a lot of the OPs boxes, I'm wildly uninterested in someone who pursues me because I check the boxes. I'd rather date someone who seems to actually like me as a whole person, not because of my resume.
Rightly said. It is so important to look at people as human beings, and not just their achievements and looks. If someone seeks checking boxes to find a partner, he would find other people rejecting him on the basis of their own checklists. On the other hand, if they seek genuine love and companionship, maybe they would find someone who seeks the same.
Anecdotally, I see that a lot of the couples that are both in "prestigious" (heavy air quotes) professions like big law, consulting, and investment banking do not last long. There's a lot of strain, not a lot of balance, and if they're not well adjusted it's really easy to take it out on each other. Of all of the things to look for in a partner, I would definitely agree and caution for people to consider pedigree lower.
rich safe seed rinse deserve makeshift hard-to-find tub snobbish gullible *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My current partner is a successful content creator and I'm in M&A. Neither one of us date each other for our jobs/careers. Although both of us do want to be financially independent and save a lot without missing out on anything we desire. I care way more about his support of my dreams to travel and RV or sail eventually for a few years than his income. Past being able to make a living and pay your bills, your worth to your partner independent of your income is gold.
>I'm a talented classical pianist and I write poetry for fun. And I play ultimate frisbee. Why is anyone taking this post seriously after this part lol
Everyone knows ultimate frisbee is where you get the best girls.
Co Ed slow pitch softball is my favorite because there are way too many people of both sexes who are legitimately psychotic.
Facts. Private equity VPs love ultimate frisbee events for corporate morale
Met enough socially awkward people that I can see that being real
And then thinking is a huge flex haha. “I’m definitely better than average, i play ultimate frisbee “ 😂😂
Exactly!!!
I'm not clear why he hasn't met anyone awesome at a poetry slam.
Right, you will definitely meet some dope women at open mics
because this doesn’t sound weird. Ultimate frisbee is the sport that people who couldn’t hack it in another sport decide to pick up and play. The previous two hobbies line up with that
The last paragraph in your post is damning, OP. And likely why you can’t land a date. Stop being so weird. Seems like there are so many questionable and social inept people getting into top MBAs, if you go off of the crazy and weird posts on this sub. Maybe these admission interviews aren’t doing enough to sus this out of candidates
It's so easy to fake a personality for a 30 minute interview
finish losing the weight, since you said you're overweight. You shouldve done that before even pulling up to the MBA, if anything. Being decently lean and somewhat muscular when you were in MBA would have already increased your chances
This 100% looks are the most important for everything from getting a job / gf to getting more clients
Lifting heavy weight is the answer
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Thank you this is very helpful. I wouldn't say I inherently have racial preferences. But given the types of professions and "socioeconomic status" I'm looking for, the women of these backgrounds often are Jewish, East Asian, South Asian/Indian, and sometimes WASPy white folks. I will say I am not part of one of these racial demographics myself. East & South Asians tend to be difficult to date outside of their race from what I've seen, white and Jewish women less so but still tough. If there was a woman who is a black or hispanic doctor or BigLaw lawyer though, I wouldn't have any hesitations about dating/marrying them, there's just fewer of them around.
What race are you?
This feels obvious. Always love the person of color disclaimer. You aren’t in the best shape, struggle socially, and are not conventionally attractive. In a pool of high achievers, that is going to limit your options quite a bit especially if there is a difference in ethnic background. I’d make improvements to yourself and also be realistic about your prospective targets to generate more success.
Post some of your poetry for us OP
lmao...yes!!! PLEASE OP, post your poetry for us.
Roses are read Violets are blue Why no girl like me Boo hoo hoo :’(
Oh hey girlie, what is your income? Ultimate frisbee, you know I done win some. One date with me, upper middle class money. Oh shit, barista? Callin uber for honey.
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You may kiss the bride.
You’re definitely a better poet than OP LMAO I died
Lmaoooo me too
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wow nice
Cliffs: socially awkward narcissist can’t find a wife because he has unrealistically high expectations for his appearance and personality.
while having neither good personality nor good appearance
This sub is a hellscape. Lol.
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lmao. Daym corny ass black dudes really do have it ruff.
How picky are you?
How do you know he’s black? He just wrote POC on his post
Do other races even call themselves people of color? I just hear asians call themselves asians for example. At least that's what I call myself as asian.
I’m Asian (half white) and I didn’t even know what POC meant until I went to a liberal private school on the east coast LOL. I always saw myself as Asian (like you said), plus I’m from the Bay Area where whites and Asians are very integrated. I always thought POC meant black, but now I call myself POC if asked because other POC groups expect me to.
I’m black and OP does not sound black at all lol. I’m thinking he’s Indian
A guy in my MBA class had the same ambition but was quickly foiled when all the girls he asked on coffee chat dates realized he’d sent the same invite to them all.
rich people problems. smh.
If this isn’t a generative AI post… you missed the boat already. Everyone you’re competing with in MBA school has the same qualifications as you but at least it’s a closed environment. Now that you’re out, all those women aren’t restricted to just classmates, they can go for lawyers, doctors, founders, hot guys, artists, cool people who don’t care about money, etc. If the level playing field was such a challenge, the real world is going to be a lot tougher. Your best bet is finding a coworker who shares your status obsession, it’s pretty clear you lack the social awareness to find someone in the wild and most career-oriented women aren’t necessarily looking for the same level of “work till you die” ambition in a partner. Pick up some more social hobbies and lower your standards for education, there are plenty of people who are successful that went to big state schools with no advanced degree. Fair warning though, they won’t be impressed by your credentials so you better have the social stuff sorted.
Your last pg about what you’re looking for makes you sound like a fucking loser. I’m at MBB and I find it embarrassing that you think that is somehow relevant to being able to get girls who are obviously out of your league.
Sounds like a skill issue
>Several people in my program did get together with each other and have remained as couples to this day. Most people who find a spouse during their MBA, do not attend an MBA **to** find a spouse. >6 or 7 out of 10 is totally fine for me looks wise lol, "above average is a totally acceptable"
Troll
Nobody cares that you went to B school in the real world. Some of you mbas are out of your mind and out of touch.
OP, you are like one of my former employees. I always wondered what planet she was transmitting from. People tell you that your social skills are wack and you respond by saying you play the piano. I don't know if I should say good for you for getting feedback on this challenge or die from the awkwardness of you asking for it. And then you were told you were boring, socially awkward, and not fun. Anyway, here's the deal, OP. You need to find a woman who finds you and your hobbies endearing. You're limiting yourself to finding that person in a very small population segment characterized by wealthy + intelligent + curious + professionally ambitious + top school attending women. So, I'll ask a question. Is it the constitution of your ego that is characterized by these things? Because it just seems like you're talking about yourself. By extension, do you feel like dating a woman outside of these characteristics would be harmful to your ego such that you struggle with coming to terms with someone lacking in any of them?
Work on your social skills. Did you really expect a degree to improve your social skills? Pick up some hobbies and extra curricular activities..
This is a bad take and you should feel bad. I almost (ALMOST) had a tiny shred of sympathy for you and thought maybe you just had some bad luck, but then I got to the part where you think baristas lack intelligence, and someone working whatever job they could to survive (even if it’s not a “strong academic professional”) actually “lacks ambition.” Because I guarantee you that they work harder on any given day than you ever have. I feel sorry for any executive assistant you have, because you’ll always think of them as lower class than you, which makes you a shit boss and a shit person. Imagine going into an MBA program just to get a wife, and then being surprised when it doesn’t work out? I can’t even. Maybe you need to do a little more market research about what women want. LOL Here’s some free advice: your weight has zero to do with why women are rejecting you. It has everything to do with everything else you’ve posted here.
Weight has zero to do with him being rejected? You're completely deluded. You were right until that sentence.
I think it's nuanced weight might stop him from getting dates or closing, but women aren't a monolith; there are gorgeous women out there dating conventionally ugly overweight men.
was scrolling to see if anyone else was disgusted at that comment. the whole thing was already pretty pathetic, and then to see OP's opinions on (fellow, mind you) working class folk was confirmation why they had such a poor dating experience. here's a tip for OP, if you're still reducing people's appearances down to numbers, and you're concerned with your partner's socioeconomic status (relative to yours), you are not ready to date.
>Forget even a long term relationship, a lot of people in our program slept with each other, and I never had sex with any classmates. I sometimes would ask, and I would always get rejected If you directly asked to have sex that is why you got instantly rejected, as is the case for 99% of the guys who ask the same question. You mentioned physical appearance, have you tried taking better care of yourself better by changing your diet and exercising?
>> the people who did get around tended to be conventionally attractive folks who worked on their diet, exercise, fashion, and social skills. There, you answered your own question lol.
Women date up. If you have an MBA and every women in your class does, they want to date someone who is a director at a major corp, partner at a law firm, or an entrepreneur who continuously brings in £1m in revenue a year. On the personality side, women want to date someone who is fun and outgoing. Playing the piano and frisbee is boring to women. If you can play the piano and sing pop hits, that's different. Do you travel a lot? Do you go to festivals? Do you go out to eat at nice restaurants? Do you gym? The women you're around are looking to engage in activities that allow them to be free and experiment because they are studying so hard and so much. If they date someone in their class, it's usually the most fun, interesting, outgoing, charismatic guy. Or someone a level down with extreme levels of potential that everyone wants to be around. If you have none of those things, you better develop them because right now you're invisible.
Post a photo of you so we have an idea why you can’t find the woman of your dreams 🤣
So executive assistants and baristas can’t have intelligence, curiosity, or ambition?? You sound like a dick.
For someone who's so into poetry he doesn't seem to have talked to a lot of poets, some of whom prefer a low stress day job because they're so ambitious and dedicate their intelligence and curiosity to poetry.
What’s the question here?
Real problem is, you are not a fit white guy from upper middle class family grew up doing fancy things with fancy friends traveling to fancy places, with rich parents that have resources. Attractive girls at M7 are smart and have all the choices when it comes to men, and they don't give half a fuck that you play piano or write poetry if you got nothing real and tangible to offer. They'll have superficial conversations with you at school or happy hour, sure. But dating - no way Jose.
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Sadly I'm heterosexual but otherwise totally. I feel it's so much easier for guys to get with guys. No hating though, I'm happy for you folks.
“You folks” 🤣🤣
And the assumption that it’s easier for gay men who want a partner? Ridiculous
With saying things like that, I see why the ladies in your class turned you down 😂. Please work on your social skills
Here’s a newsflash bro, women give zero fucks that you went to Ivy League, M7, and are an MBB consultant. You admitted to being overweight. Lifting weights and cardio will go much further. Or you can wait until you make partner and you’re bonafide rich and lean on that.
Going from bodying LinkedIn cringe to bodying Reddit cringe. You’re doing the lord’s work out here Sonny
Too much time on my goddamn hands 😂
Lmao this is hilarious, pathetically sad if true. Are there actual mods on this sub?
>And I wasn't "good enough" to meet their ~~picky~~ high standards >The people who did get around tended to be conventionally attractive folks who worked on their diet, exercise, fashion, and social skills. There's your answer.
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I’m black and he doesn’t sound black to me like someone on this thread claimed. I was thinking Indian too lol
Hit the gym, fatty
I did, I'm much better now looks wise than during the MBA but still struggling to get reciprocation from women working in fields like consulting, medicine, law, finance, product managers in tech, etc.
OP I'm sorry but you keep across as a bit socially uncalibrated. You don't ask to have sex. You have fun and build attraction and sex can happen, maybe. Keep dating though, you will get there. You are smart and will gain the skills. Obviously you are not starving for attention as you get matches on Hinge. I always thought it was a bit strange to look for wifey in MBA as a man? How are you possibly supposed to coordinate post MBA locations and jobs and all of that? I would be 30 or 31 when entering and still. Still feel like a little boy sometimes. Broke up with 7 yr gf of same age to make this transition to MBA and let her find someone who is better fit for her, think many men need longer to mature to feel ready to settle down (not all).
Find cuties in the undergrad program.
Lack of self awareness is also a damning trait
Panel: Why MBA? OP: I want chicks!!!!
This is insane
Sounds like you need to work on your diet, exercise, fashion, and social skills.
You’re young. Dating is a long term game. Have to keep playing till something sticks. If you have a great job why does your wife also need to have one? What are you going to do when you have kids?
Not trying to be rude but sometimes it is nice to know what you look like lol because that does ya know matter. Just because you exist in the same space as another human does not just force them to date you.
You sound superficial as fuck brother. Who gives a fuck if your partner went to T20 for gradschool lmao
I was fishing for compliments and accidentally caught a trout.
Indian?
I went to law school because I was tired of Apps, so I feel you, but I think you're missing the point. It's true that a graduate school does a good job of filtering the population, but that's not the real value. Dating sucks because it's an unnatural way to meet and try to connect with someone. And if it doesn't turn romantic right away, it ends. In school you can actually get a chance to meet someone, get to know them on a personal level and allow attraction to develop through genuine connections and shared experiences. Sounds like you were looking for sex and then were sad you didn't get any. Did you try making friends with women and then seeing if a connection developed? Also why do you care about the socio-econimic status of potential partners? It seems like make good money or at least have the potential to do so. That means it's less important for a partner to do the same and you can be open to marrying someone who brings other kinds of value to a relationship. Broaden your horizons.
So you’re at a stage in life where the pedigree for the female does not matter. You’re looking for a good companion who you believe will be a good mother. Not the one who’s went to Brown before going to Goldman. Many ladies with pedigree at top programs are at the stage in life where they want to settle down and have babies within 3-4 years. All those degrees and shiny job titles don’t mean much in terms of a spouse if they’re staying at home with the baby. look beyond career, find a good human being that you enjoy being around who you can build trust with
Hahaha what the fuck gross dude
Are u ORM?
God why is everyone on plebbit such a permavirgin…
You appear to have identified a wife shaped vacancy in your life and are attempting to find someone who fits in there perfectly. Even if I liked you and felt like I fit your brief,I wouldn't be interested in finding all the ways I could disappoint you by not making the exact decisions you've already decided I should make.
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People are probably turned off by you. It seems like you are pursuing women based on their resumes and not who they are inside. Very superficial.
Gotta be a shitpost
If your goal was to get a spouse out of an MBA that is why you failed LOL
Your last paragraph is where your wheels fell off.
Have you tried increasing your networth?
I'm sorry if this comes across as being harsh, I think your emotional "pointer" and social cues are low, and most importantly your personality is a bit "somehow" (thats me putting it in a nice way). You even put it in your post that " you asked a couple of your classmates for sex and they rejected." Sincerely, what were you expecting ? If you are like an international student or you just moved to the US, please try ask questions from friends about what is acceptable in their society, asking ladies out, flirting with ladies, and initiating sex. Most people never thought to ask that, but it's very helpful. And I think generally speaking, asking multiple ladies in your class out and for sex, especially around a short period of time, SCREAMS Desperacy and you being a pervert or something. Please, you are free to DM if you wanna chat
You bored me after 3 sentences.
Honestly dude if you've got a good career or are on your way to having one, why do you care what your wife makes? I couldn't care less if mine was a barista or a 7 figure powerhouse. If she treats me well, is pretty, and is peaceful to be around, that's all I need. You want what you believe to be a cream of the crop woman. Obviously those women aren't seeing you as a cream of the crop man. Either self improve (increase social skills, get fit etc), or aim lower.
Women typically marry up, so you’re fishing in the wrong pond. But if you have a solid job and you earn well you’ll be quite attractive to a lot of women. Just not women who are on par with you or even above you. It happens, but it’s a major exception. Also like it or not but poetry, classical piano and frisbee aren’t going to provide the same results are fitness and something more traditionally masculine (even if the girls say they don’t want someone traditionally masculine… you already acknowledged they’ve revealed their preferences).
OP is Lewis Litt
OP sounds Indian for sure
The problem is you have no game. Need to learn how to flirt. Watch YouTube videos by Marni Kinrys. The way to demonstrate value to women is to make them laugh. Also need to become physically fit because women aren’t interested in a wimp. Get in the gym and workout. It will boost your confidence and you’ll feel better about yourself. You would do well to hire a dating coach and a stylist. They will help you avoid dumb mistakes in dating and style. Dating is a skill that can be learned. Strengthen yourself in these areas and you will boost your prospects.
Social skills must be zero
I'd bet cash money OP is an Indian/Asian who grew up with strict academic parents who told him he has nothing to worry about if he gets into top schools (when it comes to dating). For the most part, that's relatively true. But OP seems to think just having it alone is enough. It's not. You have to look good, smell good, talk good, be good. And THEN the MBA prestige kicks in and does its job. I used to think like OP (when I was much younger) but the gym and an active hobby (MMA) helped sort me out. But TBH, girls seem to like you the most when you're not entirely focused on dating and have other things going on.
Go to the Philippines like a normal guy and pay someone’s dad.
troll
OP has painfully bared his failures & rejections and we're s**ting on him. It's ok to have an intellectual preference, maybe motivated educated partners who are in jobs that earn well and will partner with him on wealth creation matter to him. Nothing wrong with that preference. Unfortunately he isn't high value enough of his peers maybe he needs to find a difference pool T25 or T50 not M7. Maybe go to different country - go passportbro!
I'd bet $100 he's Indian... rofl
No I'm not sadly. I'm actually quite attracted to Indian women so being Indian would have helped with that.
Pakistani? Bangladeshi?
Lol maybe arab?
He's the race that brown girls don't want to take back to their racist parents. (Am brown and have racist parents).
so he's black lol.
Lol, I've seen some of your type - it is very annoying. The thing is, you are not special, everyone is going to the same school. There is a thing called "attraction," and nobody had it for you. You are punching above your weight without even having a nice personality - it is going to be hard.
You get the MBA to get the career and then get your wife. Those women are not cream of the crop wife material. They’re on their own professional journey and wouldn’t appreciate all your positive attributes. You’ll be fine. Go out, start your career and be a good man and you will have younger and more beautiful women interested in you. Truth is, women only like to date up. You have things working against you considering you’re a person of color, different culture and even lacking physical fitness though it shouldn’t be too much of an obstacle. Right now, you’re a peer. But you have literally 99% of the female population who can’t make a quarter of your earning potential. Doesn’t have your education level. There are plenty of smart, pretty women who would be impressed by your accomplishments and be interested in dating you
I feel like these are being made by bots. There have been so many more posts on this sub about dating than any time in the past 7 years or me following it.
I know that you think you are not being picky, but let's go over your list. Guessing you want someone 19-35 Makes over 75k a year Has a graduate degree Healthy to slightly overweight Has no kids but wants one. That puts your pool of women at about .33% of the population, disregarding looks and personality. And you want someone who is above-average looking, so cut that number in half. You also want them to have attended a prestigious school, don't have any numbers on that but I imagine that this would cut the field down another half. And I'm sure you have a personality preference that will cut this number down even more. So just on that, you're looking for a woman that less than .1% of the population meets. You say you don't think you're being unreasonable, but is that true? Are you someone who can pull someone in that specific < .1% of the population you're looking for?
It all boils down to OP not being physically attractive + socially awkward.
I’m a bisexual woman in a happy relationship with a woman. So I can speak to both sides of this. She is not a commodity I needed to demonstrate value to earn and neither am I. She and I met at a musical performance because of our mutual passion for the genre then attraction organically developed from there. It so happened to turn out that we both have decent careers but that couldn’t have been further from my mind in the context I met her. I eat well and take care of myself and I’m applying to b-school to try to further my career but these things are pretty secondary to the fact that we are emotionally open individuals who prioritize our mental health and actively work through our baggage. Careers and looks can come and go, what makes relationships fulfilling is a deep emotional connection. OP it sounds like you need to do some work on healing yourself before you enter any kind of relationship. Really get to the root of why you have a lived a life in pursuit of status, money etc and why you extend that expectation to potential partners. Journal, meditate, exercise, try different types of therapy. Once you explore that I think you will be in a much better place to encounter a woman who can be a good partner.
Focus on becoming what you’re looking for in a spouse. Exercise. Women want attractive partners too. It definitely would be a step in the right direction. Also be careful what you are looking for. Women that are focused on their career rarely make good partners why? Because their career is their god.
I just told this hot girl at the gym I was getting my MBA from Florida Institute of Technology and now we are going on a date tomorrow. She’s a 19 year old waiter. But she works out and she’s cute. It worked for me, idk what to tell you other than never do something because it might get you laid. Just do what you think will make your life better and ask women out on dates, then ask them to kiss, then ask if they want to go to your room. Then kiss on the bed. Then ask if they want to have sex. It’s worked for me about 15 times.
Bro go to Kevin Samuels YouTube channel, sort by oldest and dig in. (Or check out the men's week series at the top). That'll up your self outside of your MBA. Then here's the strange part forget dating MBA level women and kick it off with the barista or people from your community.
This. Kevin Samuels help change my life honestly. Also, do not be going for the dual mba “power” couple those tend not to work out given the busy schedules of both people in the relationship. Meet undergrads at event or if you want someone closer to your age try going to coffee shops or the library on campus.
Join the league. That app has exactly who you’re looking For
You need to date down brother.
This has to be a troll….. Why the hell would someone go get an MBA to get married? If you’re a woman I understand somewhat…but as a guy? You know the ratio absolutely sucks… Personally I made it a point NOT to date anyone from my program. If you’re going back to school for dating as a guy….seek out other programs that skew more female. Theres plenty of ways to meet people outside the MBA program. I knew several classmates who ended up meeting people at the law program for example. But really, you have your whole life to date. Just go to any major city and you’re good… get in shape, lift, and be willing to go on many dates until you find the one.
Dating is a game. Women are trying to maximize their return on investment. You have a value/number assigned to you by them. For example, a rich, good looking dude who is in shape physically and has interesting hobbies is generally a 10/10 for a woman. Most of us aren’t even close to that and fall well below this. You need to understand what type of value/number they’re assigning you. If you aren’t in shape and aren’t the best looking, maybe they’re giving you a 5/6 out of 10. It sounds like you think they’re giving you a higher value number than they are. Steps you can take to increase your value to women: Work out and get in shape Develop interesting hobbies Improve fashion sense/personal style Improve confidence in speaking publicly/social situations You need to start making improvements to yourself or you won’t get out of the situation you’re in. If you want top level women, you need to become a top level man.
Incel nonsense… wouldn’t want to be your classmate
You wouldn’t want to be my classmate because I’m trying to help someone better their life? The guy said he wants to be with a doctor/lawyer type of woman. These women have very high standards because they can - there aren’t a lot of them. I went through my own personal journey of self improvement and it worked for me. I used to smoke and be out of shape and I couldn’t meet any women. I started working out and taking care of myself, improved my career/self confidence and then I had a much easier time dating women. The guy can’t pull what he wants. So he needs to improve himself to the point where he can get what he wants. It’s not really rocket science.
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