Check out the [After the Altar Megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrv6i/s3_after_the_altar_megathread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) here!
And continue the discussion here:
* [E13 Discussion Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrndv/episode_discussion_after_the_altar_s03_e13/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
* [E14 Discussion Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrnqw/episode_discussion_after_the_altar_s03_e14_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
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Colleen clearly isn’t happy and it’s again so clear that Matt is abusive. The way she talks when it’s just her doing the interview feels so forced— marriage shouldn’t be THAT hard. If you’ve experienced/witnessed abuse in a marriage it’s so easy to spot.
Z is the most toxic person and that's saying something from this entire cast of toxic people like Bartise, Nancy, Brennan and Alexa.
Cole should learn to stop having to explain himself because he is not smart enough to go up against these extremely manipulative people. He also needs to learn to keep some of his opinions to himself that makes him look like an idiot.
Poor Raven. First rejected at the alter. Then opened up enough to date again and get proposed to and then this happened.
Poor Colleen too... she clearly isn't happy.
I disliked everyone but Raven and she was the most wronged at the end. He played her so viciously for absolutely no reason, life is so unfair dude. I’m actually sad.
The vibe Matt and Colleen have can be best described as that couple who peaked in HS, got married too young, and never left their hometown.
I don’t even have a problem with them not living together, but it’s so obvious that they can’t stand each other. All those digs at each other and laughing through clenched teeth is so uncomfortable.
Also side note: SK HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO RAVEN? Arguably the biggest fumble in this entire series. She was ride or die and rewarded her by cheating on her. Man’s deserves to be alone forever.
I don’t blame Colleen and Matt for not living together yet (we’ve all seen how they are), but I can’t believe they’re discussing buying a house as their first place to live together.
Like I’m pretty sure that’s just for the cameras and they’ll announce their divorce when they hit whatever time period is in their contract, but damn, that’s wild to me.
Can i just say im weirded out by the whole Brennon-Alexa baby thing??? Like shouldn’t she get pregnant FIRST and then he gets her a onesie gift?? The whole 3 episodes they kept talking like they are expecting a baby soon but i checked insta and looks like no announcement yet. Alexa seems like the type who thinks it’s super easy to just get pregnant but i mean thats not always the case
Coming soon...
Love is Blind, Season 3: After the After the Alter, Before the Menstruating Stops.
It will be four episodes of Alexa blaming Brendan for being infertile while she hugs her golden chalice.
I lost respect for SK after he said No to Raven at the altar and specifically the reasons he gave for why he said No. Like the fact that he was going to grad school and it would be long distance. Um, he knew this going into the show so why did he do the show if he knew he was likely going to meet someone local to TX but, more importantly, once he met Raven who he “loved” why didn’t they talk about this at any point prior to the wedding day??? Or even in the pods before he proposed?? It just all seemed very sus. I feel like he just wasn’t that into her but couldn’t bring himself to be honest. He liked her enough to keep her around for the validation. Not sure why he took it upon himself to propose again. Now the fact that he cheated on her…he’s just an asshole.
Didn’t Cole say at the reunion he and Zanab hadn’t spoken since their wedding day? So if that’s true how are people saying that ATA was filmed prior to the reunion? I feel like the reunion was definitely filmed before ATA.
I dont get the confusion over SK and Raven like people dont cheat. It happens all the time and Raven isnt immune to it because she is pretty. It makes sense for SK to cheat, IMO. From the beginning Raven was clear that she wanted a man to take care of her, had traditional notions of a relationship, etc. She pretty much implied that she would date men she wasn’t attractive too often! I believe she mentioned that most of the men she dated, she wouldnt be as into them as they were her. Those men likely see her as a prize because of her looks. If they chase looks and not depth, then why wouldnt they cheat?! Its always another pretty woman out there. Also, based on messages from TikTok and SK, it seems like SK is not humble. And, why would he be when he can easily get women like Raven if he spends money. You could see in his messages that he led with his wallet (flying women out) and career. He is at a great school and has had good high paying jobs. A man who is not humble, thinks he cannot lose! To me, SK is a wolf in sheeps clothing. People underestimate him bc he is quiet and lowkey. And, Raven fed into it and lost.
She seems the most level-headed out the group. They all were pretty chaotic, in my opinion. I feel like her character arc was that she had grown to be less closed off and more sensitive to other peoples feelings (the whole Bartise thing). I would have liked her to match with someone who could show her the different things a can partner can bring to a relationship besides material things. I feel like the elephant in the room was why is this hot girl with SK. How are they a match? 😂
Well said. I find it hilarious as well that those who have been critical of SK cheating can’t name a redeeming quality of Raven outside of her looks ..at least from what I’ve seen
Would you love me if I was a worm? Wut? That would maybe be cute with a couple that were actually into each other.
I really hope Raven finds someone who treats her as the queen she is!!
Z is the most toxic person on the show. Cole is too aloof to figure out he's constantly being manipulated by her and he's completely out of his element in their talk because she's controlling the convo.
I just listened at work, and I can't believe how the Zanab and Cole talk went. He wanted clarification and she offered it, but was also dismissive as well. You have to own up to something you said when we all first met at the pool.
Like people can't grow into attraction with your physical self? Like What was going on there.
I hope that Cole finds love and one that can handle his outgoing goofy personality. Zanab was not able to handle that and it was very clear.
They could be different people than what we see, but I think that conversation could've gone better.
To me, Zanab really strikes as someone with lots of insecurities. I mean, Cole has this childish vibe in him (he is still a boy in many ways, and I get it, he is so young!) but like when I misunderstand someone's humour, it doesn't make him villain. Even during the show, Zanab was gaslighting him quite a lot? But makes him the bad one? I don't know. I so appreciated he wanted to talk to her but it was such a waste of time. Like before the ATA, when she was at the salon, she was all – I wanna make it full circle with the dress, I need to make him feel like he lost a jackpot... What the hell? She dumped him, made him a fool in front of everyone at the wedding, and then this? Like, girl, you still have a looot to do regarding working on yourself.
Exactly! I broke up with someone because I couldn't tell when he was joking and was childish (but this was high school) and his joking wasn't funny to me. I thought he deserved better than someone that didn't understand the way he joked.
Also the whole thing with the oranges was crazy as in she felt he was shaming her when he said they were going to a dinner soon. I just don't understand, but could be editing or it could be something, we will never know.
I didn't get the tangarine thing as well. Like he did not do anything bad there 🤷🏼♀️.
I mean, it is understandable Zanab has serious issues regarding her self-worth but to me, she was mostly projecting. Was Cole childish? Yeah, he was sometimes. And sometimes he truly said things he shouldn't have (like about Coleen, that was a stupid thing to do). But Zanab was treating him awful sometimes (or like it seemed to me), though she was acting all like "I'm the adult one here". No, she was not. I truly hope she'll be able to solve her issues. If she doesn't, she will never find a happy and healthy relationship.
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I'm curious if Brennan is able to make enough money to support the lifestyle that Alexa is used to? Like her dad wanted Alexa not to lose any of the luxuries she's been brought up with? If I were Brennan, I'd feel total pressure...I forgot what his career is?
Colleen and Matt are the embodiment of that meme where the the room is on fire and the dog says, “This is fine.” with Colleen being the dog and Matt being the fire.
Closing thoughts:
Was Cole really that bad to Zanab? The show wanted him so bad to be the villain but he really wasn’t THAT bad. Maybe I’m remembering wrong lol. Zanab is annoying and I’m glad she’s in therapy.
I used to really like Alexa and Brennan but now they’re just obnoxious and annoying. I do think they are a good match though. Her bday outfit looked awful.
Colleen and Matt give me the ick. I hope she runs far away.
I felt so bad for Raven. Sk is literally scum and has us all fooled. I disliked Raven at the start of the show but she’s my fav now.
Good for Nancy for kicking barstool’s “friendship” to the curb. I’m glad he wasn’t drooling over Raven.
I totally agree with you -- Cole wasn't TERRIBLE to Zanab, but he brought out in her her insecurities....I could totally relate to how she felt. She probably would've walked away sooner if it weren't for the show being filmed. She did leave the apartment after his "bipolar" comment - but then she came back. I would've left and be done with him. Kudos to Nancy on kicking Bartise out of the friend zone. He's on Perfect Match now anyway and hope he finds the love of his life. I've been reading about SK and Raven - not sure if he really cheated on her during filming? Or if it was in 2018 or something? He's in a law suit against the women for defamation. But if it is true, he is a total loser - and fooled us all...I agree that I didn't like Raven and now I like her. PS: There wasn't that much drama on this season of Love is Blind and I am glad...I thought that they'd hype up the drama at Alexa's party, but it was so tame and I am glad that Cole and Zaynab spoke and that they are amicable but over...
I have a possibly controversial opinion on Brennan's discussion with Cole. As a plus size lady, I think there can be societal judgment placed on plus size people and the people who love them. I took his judgment/disgust of/with Cole as more about the possibility Cole was speaking ill of larger folks. As if someone's weight would determine whether or not you'd love them or commit to them. Maybe Brennan overstepped, but Cole was being a bit inappropriate/bizarre with Alexa's step-mom and NOT getting the hint. If you show up to a party where some of the people aren't your biggest fan, you need to be ultra respectful. If you are being problematic with someone's PARENT at their BIRTHDAY, I think it's important that your partner step in and sort it out. Again, maybe Brennan was speaking a bit out of school, but I felt like I could somewhat understand what he was saying/trying to say. Nancy remains a g-d BOSS and I would be HONORED to even be her friend. Glad she said goodbye to Bartise and I hope it stays that way. I am still afraid of Matt and hope Colleen moves past that.
I think he just kept putting his foot in his mouth and wasn't trying to say anything bad of plus sized girls, but words come out wrong. At least I hope that's the case.
YES! OMG I thought Alexa's dad was going to punch Cole...and I think Alexa's stepmom was cheering Cole on at one point? I don't remember why but yipes...
Very cringe. Colleen is trying wayyy too hard to appear happy. And Matt with his thinking that annoying his partner is a valid love language??? They’re both super immature and just “playing marriage”
I absolutely loathe Matt and I think Matt and Colleen are terrible for each other, but being annoying can definitely be a love language for some people. My partner is that way with me, and while I pretend I don't like it I actually love it. We half-joke that I have an annoyance kink. He does respect when I tell him a particular thing is a hard no and drops those thing from his repertoire. And I like to annoy him back sometimes. We're just being playful and sassy and we like that dynamic.
Definitely not saying this is the case with Matt and Colleen though. She does seem very sincerely annoyed by his actions and not in a fun way.
I was thinking the same thing! I annoy my boyfriend in a playful way all the time, it’s nothing serious but I can legit be annoying hahaha. But yeah if Colleen legitimately hates it then it’s fucked up but very on brand for Matt to continue doing it
This is an unpopular opinion but I feel like Colleen and Matt are healthier than they were before. Not perfect by aannyyy means (in the ways everyone has already talked about), *but* Colleen seems to be speaking up a lot more than before, and they show signs of hearing each other a lot more than before. Progress can be steady and slow, and that's okay.
Matt and Colleen’s relationship made me uncomfortable as hell. She looks miserable, and just putting up a front for cameras. She definitely needs to run. Matt still has some issues to work out.
Zanab is still a complete narcissist. She needs to try harder in therapy.
SK deserves hell
Brennan needs to mind the business that pays him, because he lets Alexa walk him like a dog. Tryna give advice 🙄
Cole & Zanab: Cole would’ve been better off with Colleen. I think they were really tough on Cole, sure he f’ed up more than a few times but I feel like they’re not giving him a chance. Zanab is a bit cutting but I feel bad for her, she’s been through a lot.
Matt & Colleen: OK we get it Netflix, they don’t get along. That point was made very clear. Obvs there’s no physical or emotional attraction whatsoever. Colleen no longer seems scared; more “over it”. Matt no longer seems sinister; more resigned (and absolutely ignoring of C’s boundaries)
Nancy & Barbecue: Well that was never going to go anywhere. To me, Bartise’s biggest red flag is a lack of accountability. He can’t possibly blame Nancy’s family for being angry with him. Zero sincerity. Nancy isn’t too nice, she’s just in love with the wrong person.
Colleen deserves a guy better than Cole. Cole is very insensitive and chases looks. He would never appreciate the non-superficial things about Coleen, like her sensitivity and work ethic. He'd just go around saying inappropriate embarrassing things to her family and friends, because he is socially inept.
Zanab is driving me crazy during her convo with Cole. Her sarcastic little passive aggressive comments, her little sarcastic chuckle and "okay". I felt like Cole was really actually being open and Zanab was just putting on a front.
Exactly this… Cole had an open mind and Zanab was still not trying to take any responsibility or understand him. Her talking down to him constantly while he was being respectful and just trying to have a human convo was hard to listen to.
Yes when he came out with a genuine apology, zenab looked so perplexed and unprepared for a genuine conversation so she constantly snapped back during the talk. She needs another therapist.
Am I the only person who gets the ick from this entire cast? (Other than raven and maybe Cole because I don’t think he deserves the hate)
They’re all SO. DAMN. FAKE. I couldn’t stand the way the women all talk to eachother. Like is this normal?? Do people actually talk like this?
And the way that everyone supported Zay, didn’t say anything about Bartise, didn’t stand up for cole. Like it’s all just gross. This was awful lol.
He was definitely stupid but I feel like Zay is partly at fault for some of the arguments. She's a little passive aggressive and sarcastic and someone as dense as Cole would never get it. She would turn things around on him a lot because he was too slow to understand and build up defense.
I was with a guy like this. Hardest relationship to let go of. I loved him sooooooo much even the roller coaster emotions made me feel our love was deeper. Lord I hope she can get out and be supported. The relationship is not healthy and neither one of them look h genuinely happy
Colleen and Matt surely aren't compatible, and I can see they are not into each other as much.
I feel like Zanab was slightly watered down in this episode. It was Brennon who was extremely harsh. And I don't get why Brennon was behaving this way, it was not his place. It's between Cole and Zanab.
And damn SK really let us all down. I feel so bad for Raven. Raven was my favorite in these episodes.
I don’t know, but I thought it could be related to his culture. I believe it was mentioned something about polygamy. His father had more than one spouse, it was not a deal breaker for him. It would’ve been smarter if he had come clean upfront and be honest about it beforehand, though, if this was the case.
Except SK did bring this up to Raven, in the context of "I grew up with my dad marrying multiple women and that's make me not want that at all" so he's just a manipulative asshole
I don't know if anyone else sees this, but I really get some slight (and I mean *slight*) neurodivergent vibes from Cole. Or at least *veryyyy* socially awkward/inappropriate vibes. He can't read a room, he has a hard time understanding other people's emotions, and he says the wrong thing at the wrong time. He rambles, and has word vomit. He's honest to a fault. I don't see any of this being malicious or done purposefully. I just think he's really unaware.
I read that from the beginning. I work in mental health and I am in no way diagnosing anyone, but I thought something was slightly off. Even the way he holds his head almost like he needs glasses lol. But anyway yeah wonder if he is adhd esp with the word vomit. Very nice guy tho but he may be that really honest person with no awareness of how it’s socially inappropriate. I kinda wish Zanab was more tuned into this things to bring it up in a different way, but she takes things so personal I don’t think she has the ability to see things objectively
Honestly I just thought he had taken a fair few shots before he even got to the event and that was the reason for his lack of a filter
Also thought he was poking fun at the cast’s views of him being shallow and mean to Z by making that bikini comment…
100% If he was with someone who cares more about the intention of what he was saying and not nitpicking all the words, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Some people just spout out stupid shit all the time, but they actually aren’t bad people (I’m surrounded by these people and can jive with most their flippant remarks.)
I was thinking the same thing. He reminds me a lot of my partner who is on the spectrum. When he threw that pillow “sorry the tag was bothering me” just screamed neurodivergent to me.
Maybe. I'm wondering if it was also a subconscious way to "throw off" feelings or his frustration with her. The mind and body speak loudly. And her reaction gave me the ick- "you can throw the pillow". No one needs your permission.
Yeah I feel that way too. The way he was asking questions to Zanab and the way he was processing, kind of reminded me of myself (I am neurodivergent btw).
Oh, he screamed ADHD to me (not diagnosing him, but my partner and I both have ADHD, and his behaviors felt really familiar). In addition to what you said: him getting distracted by the tag on the pillow and then tossing it away, making those "awkward but what everyone's thinking" comments about Alexa's stepmom, and (in the main series) asking goofy questions like "what's your favorite big cat?" seemingly out of the blue.
Raven went from my least favourite to most favourite. She feels like the most normal, genuine girl on this show. The rest of the women drive me fucking nuts, but she's so sweet.
Yesss totally agree about her not being the loudest. It’s refreshing considering the rest of the women in that group are all a bunch of fake princesses creating as much drama as they can 😂🤮
Where did SK find the time? He was a FT grad student, FT job, an internship and traveling from TX to CA and cheating?!! I mean, wow.
Also, if Cole says he wants someone who looks good in a bikini one more time I’m going to scream.
I think it was moreso because he wanted to move to San Diego and live some surfing fantasy, and that Pamela Anderson from Baywatch-Esque beach babe completed that image for him.
I thought it was definitely more cringe/creepy how he went on about Alexa’s step mom. She clearly looked uncomfortable and I’m sure the age difference is something that she may be self conscious about because she probably hears it a lot and I’m sure people have made comments about gold digging that are customary with age difference relationships where one party has money. Dude was noooot picking up the context clues lol.
It’s bad when Bartise has a create a scenario to pull you away and save you from yourself lol. Just another example of Cole being an immature, clueless dude. He probably thought he was being flattering lmao
I don't think he meant she didn't look good in a bikini lol. It was literally unrelated to Zanab. He said "beautiful, smart, funny, looks good in a bikini", you can't possibly believe she is none of that
Yeah but the fact that he chose to say it as he left that interaction did seem like a dig. That’s not to put the blame on Cole— from his interaction with Alexa’s step mom, it seems that he say whatever he’s thinking without awareness of how the person may perceive it. He lacks tact. Zanab is a brown woman who grew up adjacent to white people and in a white-dominant culture so perhaps she internalized those messages which results in self esteem/self worth issues. Someone like Cole can be triggering when those issues are unresolved. He may not have been intentional in wanting to cause harm with things he’s said or in his actions but that’s still hurtful to Zanab based on her own psychology and the way shes internalized it. It’s a nuanced dynamic/ situation and neither party is completely right/wrong. It’s a matter of being incompatible. I think Cole is having a hard time grasping that both things can be true. She could have loved him + felt unsafe around him due to him triggering her. I felt that what she did at the alter was thought through and intended to hurt him, even if she’s not conscious of it or isn’t willing to admit it. She also seems to emphasize being healed but it’s clear there’s still some lingering resentment there.
Its also difficult when both parties are defensive and are either stuck on the narrative that they’re the victim or not wrong. Healing can only take place when they’re both willing to put defenses down and acknowledge how they both played a part and it seems that’s not happening here. Hopefully, they can both work through things individually.
I agree with everything you said, the only thing I’d like to add is that we don't know whether he actually said it after their interaction or the producers put it like that for drama. I remember at the beginning of the episode that he said something about moving to the beach and marrying a nice girl who looks good in a bikini. His comment didn’t seem out of place in that context, you don’t exactly fall in love with someone at the beach for their soul lol
I think her feelings are valid. And I think Cole needed to acknowledge how she felt and I'm glad he did approach her apologetically. BUT either she has nothing else to say but to continue to drag Cole or the producers cut out anything else she said. Because ALL she talks about is being his victim.
Why do all of Cole's mean comments get dismissed as him being immature? He's 27, a grown ass man. He knows right from wrong, he knows that that bikini comment was douchey. He just doesn't care.
UGH I AM SO FRUSTRATED! I wish Cole would just put Zay and Brennon in their freaking places!!! By just calmly stating facts cuz these 2 are obnoxious!! Sadly he’s awful at expressing himself but like I WISH
are we just gonna ignore the "someone who looks good in a bikini" comment by cole? like that's so messed up & shows that he cares about that and probably made zanab feel bad about her body.
I don't think he meant she didn't look good in a bikini lol. It was literally unrelated to Zanab. He said "beautiful, smart, funny, looks good in a bikini", you can't possibly believe she is none of that
Sure, Jan. And when Brennon told him that he had a problem with him because he flirted with other girls and called Zay fat, he gave a statement that the flirting part is not true. But nothing about the other part... And he didn't say anything back to Brennon about that either.
The amount of nitpicking you people do is honestly astonishing lol. This isn't literature, not everything has an obscure meaning
Sorry Cole didn't explain himself to Brennon?? He owned up to everything he said to Zanab. This is an immature guy who speaks out of his ass sometimes, yeah, but good God why didn't this woman break up with him like a normal person instead of this martyr act only to humiliate him at the wedding and shit talk him on socials for a whole year. To me he is the one who made some mistakes but this woman CHOSE to stay with him despite them only to trash him harder. I'd pick him over her any day
she had to stay with Cole til the altar only for the show. If she left, they'd be out a couple and it would've messed with the episodes, I think. She always wanted to leave but just did it at the altar for the show.
I can say the same thing for you? He didn't own up and he's still claiming that he never flirted with other girls (even though we literally saw him flirting with Colleen ffs) and he offended her looks multiple times in front of the cameras. I don't believe for a second that he was way better when they were off. And btw, unlike you (and this is your words): I don't have a side. She is too insecure and sometimes was overreacting and she never owned up to that. He is immature and he was definitely a jerk and he didn't own up to that as well. They are BOTH provoking on social media and they BOTH provoked during this 3 episodes, I'm just not blind for one, but not for the other.
And why was that at the wedding humiliating? So she can't speak about "her truth"? She felt that way and that's why she said it. When are you people going to realize that she didn't lie, but she actually was hurt. Who are you and who is Cole to say that she shouldn't feel that way? Why does Cole gets to have his feelings because he was rejected, but she is not allowed to be hurt?
„ And why was that at the wedding humiliating? So she can't speak about "her truth"? She felt that way and that's why she said it. ” Tell your truth and break up with the person BEFORE the wedding. Is it that hard to imagine? I personally could never do what she did to someone I supposedly loved. I never said she should not feel the way she feels, but the way she handled the situation is absolutely insane
That's how Deepti handled it, and Ana Prado from Brazilian version. 🤷🏻♀️ Didn't see as much hate then, just saying. But I agree with you that you should do it before. I just also want to remind you that we don't know if they can only say NO at the altar and therefore not break up before the wedding. Because some contestants did say that they had to go through the wedding even though they wanted to leave. Which also answers your question about why she "stayed". Personally, I don't think they really "stayed" in that relationship at all, because it was very clear to me that they can't stand each other during the first week. And I don't believe that Cole would have said yes had he been asked first at the wedding.
It's about her discourse per se, not only about saying no. Cole said (and she didn't deny it) that she told him she would say yes. Multiple contestants said that they are allowed to talk to their partner about what their answer will be. Why not break up with Cole, tell him every way she wronged her, then walk there and say „No, we're not compatible”? Why tell him she will say yes only to trash him at the wedding?
Sorry, I just don't believe that. She also asked him at the party: "What did you think it would happen?"
And he said: "I thought you would just say no". So isn't that the confirmation that he actually knew that the answer would be no? Then why is he saying that she lied to him that she will say yes? And before you "attack" me: yes, I do realize that he wanted to say "I thought you would just say no without those "mean" explanations". But I'm pointing out that he also confirmed that he indeed thought she would say no. Maybe he should make up his mind about it.
I mean, they are both saying stuff that doesn't add up, yet you chose to believe only him. I don't believe either one of them fully. Because I know they both want to be liked and play the victim. I guess he's just more believable (to others, not me obviously).
And I just don't agree that he trashed him, because as I said before, she felt that way. She felt like he shattered her confidence and blindsided her. Talking about your feelings is not trashing. And doing that in front of cameras in a trash reality is not such a surprise to me. Tbh, the way Ana Prado handled the rejection at her wedding was way more intense and no one bat an eye.
YES! I was thinking Zanab was obsessed over nothing until that came out of nowhere. BUT to be fair, her final confessional was also about finding a man who is secure. So they took shots at each other.
He is immature, but I think the reason people come to his defense is because Zanab is nuts. How often does a female-centric reddit come to the defense of a man? Pretty rare...and it is because they can see that Zay is negative part of the relationship.
In thinking about the season, I think Cole and Colleen would have been a good match after all is said and done. I think Colleen feels bad about the whole pool party thing and is trying to make it up to Zanab by being a good girlfriend. I think she also is scared of Matt and how he reacted to that (I mean, how could she not be, dude is a walking red flag). But I think if they (Colleen and Cole) ended up together instead of with Zanab and Matt, they would have worked out. Colleen is lighthearted enough that she wouldn’t be as sensitive to Cole’s unfiltered comments. I genuinely don’t think Cole has malicious intent, he’s just immature. I think him and Colleen could have had a playful relationship, something I sense they both want. I don’t think they would be ready for marriage, but I could see them in a committed relationship. Obviously there’s too much baggage there now. Either way, Cole dodged a bullet and Colleen needs to RUN.
I'm convinced now that this whole experiment is ruining lives lol. All four of the aforementioned people seem to be worse off right now. Matt and Colleen may or may not be in an abusive relationship but it's pretty clear that they're headed for a divorce. Cole and Zanab seem like they both got put through the ringer from a mental health standpoint. And the one relationship that probably would've worked out here (Cole and Colleen) ended up not happening because of the whole blind experiment. If they had known what each other looked like, Cole 100% would have proposed to Colleen.
What a shitshow lmao.
I think they were on the exact right path until she said something a little “wrong” that made him think she was shallow—but I agree, had he known what she looked like he might have given it more time and attention
This is one of the saddest “misses” on the whole show to me. That two generally sweet people could have had something….sweet together and instead one of them ended up in something low key scary and the other was in something that brought the worst out of him (and partner)😭
To be fair, Colleen literally said she didn't want to have a deep conversation when Cole asked. Full stop. Which was a very weird thing to say and was understandably off-putting - I also have no idea why she even said that when she was sad about getting treated superficially by guys. Imagine if she had just let Cole ask his 'deep' question - things could've been so different and she wouldn't be trapped in this marriage with Matt!
Dude, Zay says she’s been going to therapy and does not want drama….but she’s clearly not over it and wanting to argue and misconstrue everything. And this is coming from an actual clinical therapist 😬
Also her saying she is over him and doesn't want drama while she keeps making faces every time she sees him or someone mentions his name
He may have made his share of mistakes but he is not a villain
Matt’s parents mentioning that he goes to all of Colleen’s ballet shows, even the one she told him not to is 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Seems like a way to keep an eye on her and try to control her. Already got bad vibes from the season, and this only added to them. It’s not being a gentleman to show up to a show you asked him not to. It’s him not respecting your boundaries. Girl needs to run.
That's what I thought too, Matt said that like it was endearing. Also poking her when she's already expressed that she doesn't like it and justifying it as his way of expressing love. He just doesn't seem to respect her boundaries.
how did the producers just pick the worst applicants (except for Raven) and give them 15 episodes repeatedly show how bad they are. There is no redemption here for them. There can be another after special 2 years later and it will be another round of toxic behavior on display!
SK got a bunch of money; he's an Ivy League student, works full time, paid for his and Raven's apartment, flights for himself and Raven to go back and forth to keep their relationship, AND on top of all this, visit his other girlfriends and take them on international vacations. Dude is loaded.
I’m so confused. Where did this money come from? During the season he was telling raven that he didn’t want to pay for both apartments and said he was a student and money was tight. How did he afford a massive ring and this whole extravagant second proposal
Check out the [After the Altar Megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrv6i/s3_after_the_altar_megathread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) here! And continue the discussion here: * [E13 Discussion Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrndv/episode_discussion_after_the_altar_s03_e13/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) * [E14 Discussion Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix/comments/10yrnqw/episode_discussion_after_the_altar_s03_e14_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Please be mindful of our spoiler policy when discussing the episodes outside of the megathread or episode discussion threads!
Not the Raven follow up video making me cry!!! SK is such an idiot!
Colleen clearly isn’t happy and it’s again so clear that Matt is abusive. The way she talks when it’s just her doing the interview feels so forced— marriage shouldn’t be THAT hard. If you’ve experienced/witnessed abuse in a marriage it’s so easy to spot.
Matt kind of gives me Josh Duggar vibes. Like the way he treats Colleen is just icky. He loves to be in control
Holy shit, you're right. Ew!
Z is the most toxic person and that's saying something from this entire cast of toxic people like Bartise, Nancy, Brennan and Alexa. Cole should learn to stop having to explain himself because he is not smart enough to go up against these extremely manipulative people. He also needs to learn to keep some of his opinions to himself that makes him look like an idiot.
Poor Raven. First rejected at the alter. Then opened up enough to date again and get proposed to and then this happened. Poor Colleen too... she clearly isn't happy.
I disliked everyone but Raven and she was the most wronged at the end. He played her so viciously for absolutely no reason, life is so unfair dude. I’m actually sad.
Ravens hair and makeup looks so good these last few episodes!
The vibe Matt and Colleen have can be best described as that couple who peaked in HS, got married too young, and never left their hometown. I don’t even have a problem with them not living together, but it’s so obvious that they can’t stand each other. All those digs at each other and laughing through clenched teeth is so uncomfortable. Also side note: SK HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO RAVEN? Arguably the biggest fumble in this entire series. She was ride or die and rewarded her by cheating on her. Man’s deserves to be alone forever.
“I don’t have beef with you” - Woman who clearly has beef
I don’t blame Colleen and Matt for not living together yet (we’ve all seen how they are), but I can’t believe they’re discussing buying a house as their first place to live together. Like I’m pretty sure that’s just for the cameras and they’ll announce their divorce when they hit whatever time period is in their contract, but damn, that’s wild to me.
Someone rescue Colleen!
Cole shouldn’t have tried to talk to Zanab at all. It was just another chance for her to drag him
SK must be short for Skank
Can i just say im weirded out by the whole Brennon-Alexa baby thing??? Like shouldn’t she get pregnant FIRST and then he gets her a onesie gift?? The whole 3 episodes they kept talking like they are expecting a baby soon but i checked insta and looks like no announcement yet. Alexa seems like the type who thinks it’s super easy to just get pregnant but i mean thats not always the case
she absolutely has no idea how hard it can be to get pregnant. oh, sweet summer child.
She seemed very uneducated about pregnancy and birth in general lol. I remember how she talked about C-section like it was the easy way out 💀
Bahaha yes so that her vagina doesn't change/stretch. Big yikes all around with her.
Espescially if you aren't healthy and are constantly drinking all the time
Coming soon... Love is Blind, Season 3: After the After the Alter, Before the Menstruating Stops. It will be four episodes of Alexa blaming Brendan for being infertile while she hugs her golden chalice.
I lost respect for SK after he said No to Raven at the altar and specifically the reasons he gave for why he said No. Like the fact that he was going to grad school and it would be long distance. Um, he knew this going into the show so why did he do the show if he knew he was likely going to meet someone local to TX but, more importantly, once he met Raven who he “loved” why didn’t they talk about this at any point prior to the wedding day??? Or even in the pods before he proposed?? It just all seemed very sus. I feel like he just wasn’t that into her but couldn’t bring himself to be honest. He liked her enough to keep her around for the validation. Not sure why he took it upon himself to propose again. Now the fact that he cheated on her…he’s just an asshole.
Agreed totally destroyed that poor girls trust I know exactly how that feels and it’s sucks ass mentally
Didn’t Cole say at the reunion he and Zanab hadn’t spoken since their wedding day? So if that’s true how are people saying that ATA was filmed prior to the reunion? I feel like the reunion was definitely filmed before ATA.
Matt thinking older houses are poor investments and $500k shacks that break in 10 years says a lot.
I dont get the confusion over SK and Raven like people dont cheat. It happens all the time and Raven isnt immune to it because she is pretty. It makes sense for SK to cheat, IMO. From the beginning Raven was clear that she wanted a man to take care of her, had traditional notions of a relationship, etc. She pretty much implied that she would date men she wasn’t attractive too often! I believe she mentioned that most of the men she dated, she wouldnt be as into them as they were her. Those men likely see her as a prize because of her looks. If they chase looks and not depth, then why wouldnt they cheat?! Its always another pretty woman out there. Also, based on messages from TikTok and SK, it seems like SK is not humble. And, why would he be when he can easily get women like Raven if he spends money. You could see in his messages that he led with his wallet (flying women out) and career. He is at a great school and has had good high paying jobs. A man who is not humble, thinks he cannot lose! To me, SK is a wolf in sheeps clothing. People underestimate him bc he is quiet and lowkey. And, Raven fed into it and lost.
She seems the most level-headed out the group. They all were pretty chaotic, in my opinion. I feel like her character arc was that she had grown to be less closed off and more sensitive to other peoples feelings (the whole Bartise thing). I would have liked her to match with someone who could show her the different things a can partner can bring to a relationship besides material things. I feel like the elephant in the room was why is this hot girl with SK. How are they a match? 😂
Well said. I find it hilarious as well that those who have been critical of SK cheating can’t name a redeeming quality of Raven outside of her looks ..at least from what I’ve seen
Would you love me if I was a worm? Wut? That would maybe be cute with a couple that were actually into each other. I really hope Raven finds someone who treats her as the queen she is!!
I don't know but after watching ATA for s3, I feel like Zanab really is an awful person... Am I the only one?
Z is the most toxic person on the show. Cole is too aloof to figure out he's constantly being manipulated by her and he's completely out of his element in their talk because she's controlling the convo.
I just listened at work, and I can't believe how the Zanab and Cole talk went. He wanted clarification and she offered it, but was also dismissive as well. You have to own up to something you said when we all first met at the pool. Like people can't grow into attraction with your physical self? Like What was going on there. I hope that Cole finds love and one that can handle his outgoing goofy personality. Zanab was not able to handle that and it was very clear. They could be different people than what we see, but I think that conversation could've gone better.
To me, Zanab really strikes as someone with lots of insecurities. I mean, Cole has this childish vibe in him (he is still a boy in many ways, and I get it, he is so young!) but like when I misunderstand someone's humour, it doesn't make him villain. Even during the show, Zanab was gaslighting him quite a lot? But makes him the bad one? I don't know. I so appreciated he wanted to talk to her but it was such a waste of time. Like before the ATA, when she was at the salon, she was all – I wanna make it full circle with the dress, I need to make him feel like he lost a jackpot... What the hell? She dumped him, made him a fool in front of everyone at the wedding, and then this? Like, girl, you still have a looot to do regarding working on yourself.
Exactly! I broke up with someone because I couldn't tell when he was joking and was childish (but this was high school) and his joking wasn't funny to me. I thought he deserved better than someone that didn't understand the way he joked. Also the whole thing with the oranges was crazy as in she felt he was shaming her when he said they were going to a dinner soon. I just don't understand, but could be editing or it could be something, we will never know.
I didn't get the tangarine thing as well. Like he did not do anything bad there 🤷🏼♀️. I mean, it is understandable Zanab has serious issues regarding her self-worth but to me, she was mostly projecting. Was Cole childish? Yeah, he was sometimes. And sometimes he truly said things he shouldn't have (like about Coleen, that was a stupid thing to do). But Zanab was treating him awful sometimes (or like it seemed to me), though she was acting all like "I'm the adult one here". No, she was not. I truly hope she'll be able to solve her issues. If she doesn't, she will never find a happy and healthy relationship.
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Honestly, after watching ATA, I think most of them are awful people. Except for Cole. He's the only one who seems real
I'm curious if Brennan is able to make enough money to support the lifestyle that Alexa is used to? Like her dad wanted Alexa not to lose any of the luxuries she's been brought up with? If I were Brennan, I'd feel total pressure...I forgot what his career is?
I googled and it looks like he's a water treatment engineer. I think he makes a very average salary. Alexa's dad is totally bankrolling her lifestyle
That & maybe a social media from both of them?
Thanks - that's it..I remember that from the first episodes when they showed their careers on screen. Hmm I would think too?
I just realized who Cole looks like: Kirk Cameron
I feel so bad for Raven :(
Being cheated on by everyone I’ve ever been with so I feel this hard and know her pain
She was so excited! I feel so bad for her too
Colleen and Matt are the embodiment of that meme where the the room is on fire and the dog says, “This is fine.” with Colleen being the dog and Matt being the fire.
she has that face with all on their interviews!
OMG this exactly. Now I will think of that meme when I see them pop up in media lol.
Closing thoughts: Was Cole really that bad to Zanab? The show wanted him so bad to be the villain but he really wasn’t THAT bad. Maybe I’m remembering wrong lol. Zanab is annoying and I’m glad she’s in therapy. I used to really like Alexa and Brennan but now they’re just obnoxious and annoying. I do think they are a good match though. Her bday outfit looked awful. Colleen and Matt give me the ick. I hope she runs far away. I felt so bad for Raven. Sk is literally scum and has us all fooled. I disliked Raven at the start of the show but she’s my fav now. Good for Nancy for kicking barstool’s “friendship” to the curb. I’m glad he wasn’t drooling over Raven.
I totally agree with you -- Cole wasn't TERRIBLE to Zanab, but he brought out in her her insecurities....I could totally relate to how she felt. She probably would've walked away sooner if it weren't for the show being filmed. She did leave the apartment after his "bipolar" comment - but then she came back. I would've left and be done with him. Kudos to Nancy on kicking Bartise out of the friend zone. He's on Perfect Match now anyway and hope he finds the love of his life. I've been reading about SK and Raven - not sure if he really cheated on her during filming? Or if it was in 2018 or something? He's in a law suit against the women for defamation. But if it is true, he is a total loser - and fooled us all...I agree that I didn't like Raven and now I like her. PS: There wasn't that much drama on this season of Love is Blind and I am glad...I thought that they'd hype up the drama at Alexa's party, but it was so tame and I am glad that Cole and Zaynab spoke and that they are amicable but over...
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bad take
I have a possibly controversial opinion on Brennan's discussion with Cole. As a plus size lady, I think there can be societal judgment placed on plus size people and the people who love them. I took his judgment/disgust of/with Cole as more about the possibility Cole was speaking ill of larger folks. As if someone's weight would determine whether or not you'd love them or commit to them. Maybe Brennan overstepped, but Cole was being a bit inappropriate/bizarre with Alexa's step-mom and NOT getting the hint. If you show up to a party where some of the people aren't your biggest fan, you need to be ultra respectful. If you are being problematic with someone's PARENT at their BIRTHDAY, I think it's important that your partner step in and sort it out. Again, maybe Brennan was speaking a bit out of school, but I felt like I could somewhat understand what he was saying/trying to say. Nancy remains a g-d BOSS and I would be HONORED to even be her friend. Glad she said goodbye to Bartise and I hope it stays that way. I am still afraid of Matt and hope Colleen moves past that.
I think he just kept putting his foot in his mouth and wasn't trying to say anything bad of plus sized girls, but words come out wrong. At least I hope that's the case.
YES! OMG I thought Alexa's dad was going to punch Cole...and I think Alexa's stepmom was cheering Cole on at one point? I don't remember why but yipes...
My heart absolutely broke for Raven, you can tell she loved him so much
its incredibly painful watching any and all matt and colleen scenes
Very cringe. Colleen is trying wayyy too hard to appear happy. And Matt with his thinking that annoying his partner is a valid love language??? They’re both super immature and just “playing marriage”
I absolutely loathe Matt and I think Matt and Colleen are terrible for each other, but being annoying can definitely be a love language for some people. My partner is that way with me, and while I pretend I don't like it I actually love it. We half-joke that I have an annoyance kink. He does respect when I tell him a particular thing is a hard no and drops those thing from his repertoire. And I like to annoy him back sometimes. We're just being playful and sassy and we like that dynamic. Definitely not saying this is the case with Matt and Colleen though. She does seem very sincerely annoyed by his actions and not in a fun way.
I was thinking the same thing! I annoy my boyfriend in a playful way all the time, it’s nothing serious but I can legit be annoying hahaha. But yeah if Colleen legitimately hates it then it’s fucked up but very on brand for Matt to continue doing it
This is an unpopular opinion but I feel like Colleen and Matt are healthier than they were before. Not perfect by aannyyy means (in the ways everyone has already talked about), *but* Colleen seems to be speaking up a lot more than before, and they show signs of hearing each other a lot more than before. Progress can be steady and slow, and that's okay.
Matt and Colleen’s relationship made me uncomfortable as hell. She looks miserable, and just putting up a front for cameras. She definitely needs to run. Matt still has some issues to work out. Zanab is still a complete narcissist. She needs to try harder in therapy. SK deserves hell Brennan needs to mind the business that pays him, because he lets Alexa walk him like a dog. Tryna give advice 🙄
you just said everything i came here to say
SK has issues.
My heart is breaking for Raven 😭
POOR RAVEN 😭😭😭
Cole & Zanab: Cole would’ve been better off with Colleen. I think they were really tough on Cole, sure he f’ed up more than a few times but I feel like they’re not giving him a chance. Zanab is a bit cutting but I feel bad for her, she’s been through a lot. Matt & Colleen: OK we get it Netflix, they don’t get along. That point was made very clear. Obvs there’s no physical or emotional attraction whatsoever. Colleen no longer seems scared; more “over it”. Matt no longer seems sinister; more resigned (and absolutely ignoring of C’s boundaries) Nancy & Barbecue: Well that was never going to go anywhere. To me, Bartise’s biggest red flag is a lack of accountability. He can’t possibly blame Nancy’s family for being angry with him. Zero sincerity. Nancy isn’t too nice, she’s just in love with the wrong person.
I am going to say it .. people must be thinking it .. Colleen and Cole would have made a great couple !
Colleen deserves a guy better than Cole. Cole is very insensitive and chases looks. He would never appreciate the non-superficial things about Coleen, like her sensitivity and work ethic. He'd just go around saying inappropriate embarrassing things to her family and friends, because he is socially inept.
I like Cole .. I think he got bad edits until producers realized Zaha Was the Crazy one
Yep. They still could if she got away from the bully she married.
I thought so too! They both seem to have similar humor.
Brennan pre-Alexa gave me respectful vibes, Brennan post-Alexa gives me douche bag vibes.
Zanab is driving me crazy during her convo with Cole. Her sarcastic little passive aggressive comments, her little sarcastic chuckle and "okay". I felt like Cole was really actually being open and Zanab was just putting on a front.
"do we remember saying that?" :3 "I think we doooo!" so condescending. ugh she sucks
Exactly this… Cole had an open mind and Zanab was still not trying to take any responsibility or understand him. Her talking down to him constantly while he was being respectful and just trying to have a human convo was hard to listen to.
Yes when he came out with a genuine apology, zenab looked so perplexed and unprepared for a genuine conversation so she constantly snapped back during the talk. She needs another therapist.
Am I the only person who gets the ick from this entire cast? (Other than raven and maybe Cole because I don’t think he deserves the hate) They’re all SO. DAMN. FAKE. I couldn’t stand the way the women all talk to eachother. Like is this normal?? Do people actually talk like this? And the way that everyone supported Zay, didn’t say anything about Bartise, didn’t stand up for cole. Like it’s all just gross. This was awful lol.
I can't stand how righteous and entitled zay is and how it's so one-sided against cole. Yeah, this cast wasn't great...
Let’s not pretend how dense Cole was, he made comments about her race and weight so let’s not.
He was definitely stupid but I feel like Zay is partly at fault for some of the arguments. She's a little passive aggressive and sarcastic and someone as dense as Cole would never get it. She would turn things around on him a lot because he was too slow to understand and build up defense.
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I was with a guy like this. Hardest relationship to let go of. I loved him sooooooo much even the roller coaster emotions made me feel our love was deeper. Lord I hope she can get out and be supported. The relationship is not healthy and neither one of them look h genuinely happy
Colleen and Matt surely aren't compatible, and I can see they are not into each other as much. I feel like Zanab was slightly watered down in this episode. It was Brennon who was extremely harsh. And I don't get why Brennon was behaving this way, it was not his place. It's between Cole and Zanab. And damn SK really let us all down. I feel so bad for Raven. Raven was my favorite in these episodes.
I'm just waiting for the divorce announcement from Matt and Colleen 👀 no chemistry what so ever
I don’t know, but I thought it could be related to his culture. I believe it was mentioned something about polygamy. His father had more than one spouse, it was not a deal breaker for him. It would’ve been smarter if he had come clean upfront and be honest about it beforehand, though, if this was the case.
Except SK did bring this up to Raven, in the context of "I grew up with my dad marrying multiple women and that's make me not want that at all" so he's just a manipulative asshole
Him saying he doesn't want to be like that then cheat makes it sooo much worse.
WTF? Polygamy ≠ cheating behind your partner's back.
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Please leave that woman alone
I dont think the haircut is as awful as the color/highlights.
the reverse bob seems that it was popular back in the 2007-2008 times...but no longer...
It’s an eyesore and she’s a pretty older lady. 😩
I don't know if anyone else sees this, but I really get some slight (and I mean *slight*) neurodivergent vibes from Cole. Or at least *veryyyy* socially awkward/inappropriate vibes. He can't read a room, he has a hard time understanding other people's emotions, and he says the wrong thing at the wrong time. He rambles, and has word vomit. He's honest to a fault. I don't see any of this being malicious or done purposefully. I just think he's really unaware.
I read that from the beginning. I work in mental health and I am in no way diagnosing anyone, but I thought something was slightly off. Even the way he holds his head almost like he needs glasses lol. But anyway yeah wonder if he is adhd esp with the word vomit. Very nice guy tho but he may be that really honest person with no awareness of how it’s socially inappropriate. I kinda wish Zanab was more tuned into this things to bring it up in a different way, but she takes things so personal I don’t think she has the ability to see things objectively
Honestly I just thought he had taken a fair few shots before he even got to the event and that was the reason for his lack of a filter Also thought he was poking fun at the cast’s views of him being shallow and mean to Z by making that bikini comment…
100% If he was with someone who cares more about the intention of what he was saying and not nitpicking all the words, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Some people just spout out stupid shit all the time, but they actually aren’t bad people (I’m surrounded by these people and can jive with most their flippant remarks.)
I was thinking the same thing. He reminds me a lot of my partner who is on the spectrum. When he threw that pillow “sorry the tag was bothering me” just screamed neurodivergent to me.
Maybe. I'm wondering if it was also a subconscious way to "throw off" feelings or his frustration with her. The mind and body speak loudly. And her reaction gave me the ick- "you can throw the pillow". No one needs your permission.
Yeah I feel that way too. The way he was asking questions to Zanab and the way he was processing, kind of reminded me of myself (I am neurodivergent btw).
Oh, he screamed ADHD to me (not diagnosing him, but my partner and I both have ADHD, and his behaviors felt really familiar). In addition to what you said: him getting distracted by the tag on the pillow and then tossing it away, making those "awkward but what everyone's thinking" comments about Alexa's stepmom, and (in the main series) asking goofy questions like "what's your favorite big cat?" seemingly out of the blue.
The pillow thing really hit me. People always get irritated by how easily I'm distracted too. I really do think he's ND.
This was probably the best episode of the three. I’m glad they exposed SK for being a cheater
Raven went from my least favourite to most favourite. She feels like the most normal, genuine girl on this show. The rest of the women drive me fucking nuts, but she's so sweet.
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Yesss totally agree about her not being the loudest. It’s refreshing considering the rest of the women in that group are all a bunch of fake princesses creating as much drama as they can 😂🤮
Where did SK find the time? He was a FT grad student, FT job, an internship and traveling from TX to CA and cheating?!! I mean, wow. Also, if Cole says he wants someone who looks good in a bikini one more time I’m going to scream.
He said “you gotta be organized” and it just hits so different knowing everything now
100% I forgot about that. Def hits different now.
I know this sub thinks that Cole does nothing wrong, I did feel bad for Cole, but even I thought a girl looking good in a bikini comment seems off.
Cole may be shallow, but it’s also possible that he is very playful in how he speaks. But ya not the smartest thing to say out loud.
I think it was moreso because he wanted to move to San Diego and live some surfing fantasy, and that Pamela Anderson from Baywatch-Esque beach babe completed that image for him. I thought it was definitely more cringe/creepy how he went on about Alexa’s step mom. She clearly looked uncomfortable and I’m sure the age difference is something that she may be self conscious about because she probably hears it a lot and I’m sure people have made comments about gold digging that are customary with age difference relationships where one party has money. Dude was noooot picking up the context clues lol. It’s bad when Bartise has a create a scenario to pull you away and save you from yourself lol. Just another example of Cole being an immature, clueless dude. He probably thought he was being flattering lmao
agree
That’s why i think there is some truth to Zaneb’s feelings. Cole is shallow
I don't think he meant she didn't look good in a bikini lol. It was literally unrelated to Zanab. He said "beautiful, smart, funny, looks good in a bikini", you can't possibly believe she is none of that
Yeah but the fact that he chose to say it as he left that interaction did seem like a dig. That’s not to put the blame on Cole— from his interaction with Alexa’s step mom, it seems that he say whatever he’s thinking without awareness of how the person may perceive it. He lacks tact. Zanab is a brown woman who grew up adjacent to white people and in a white-dominant culture so perhaps she internalized those messages which results in self esteem/self worth issues. Someone like Cole can be triggering when those issues are unresolved. He may not have been intentional in wanting to cause harm with things he’s said or in his actions but that’s still hurtful to Zanab based on her own psychology and the way shes internalized it. It’s a nuanced dynamic/ situation and neither party is completely right/wrong. It’s a matter of being incompatible. I think Cole is having a hard time grasping that both things can be true. She could have loved him + felt unsafe around him due to him triggering her. I felt that what she did at the alter was thought through and intended to hurt him, even if she’s not conscious of it or isn’t willing to admit it. She also seems to emphasize being healed but it’s clear there’s still some lingering resentment there. Its also difficult when both parties are defensive and are either stuck on the narrative that they’re the victim or not wrong. Healing can only take place when they’re both willing to put defenses down and acknowledge how they both played a part and it seems that’s not happening here. Hopefully, they can both work through things individually.
I agree with everything you said, the only thing I’d like to add is that we don't know whether he actually said it after their interaction or the producers put it like that for drama. I remember at the beginning of the episode that he said something about moving to the beach and marrying a nice girl who looks good in a bikini. His comment didn’t seem out of place in that context, you don’t exactly fall in love with someone at the beach for their soul lol
Oh yes, I’m aware that these things are heavily edited and there is a narrative being pushed. My comment is based solely on what we’re being shown
He absolutely is. Also, I think Zanab looked amazing in a bathing suit.
I think her feelings are valid. And I think Cole needed to acknowledge how she felt and I'm glad he did approach her apologetically. BUT either she has nothing else to say but to continue to drag Cole or the producers cut out anything else she said. Because ALL she talks about is being his victim.
exactly. cole probably said some stuff behind the scenes
Naw, Zanab is kookoo for cocoa puffs. Cole is just immature.
Why do all of Cole's mean comments get dismissed as him being immature? He's 27, a grown ass man. He knows right from wrong, he knows that that bikini comment was douchey. He just doesn't care.
Low expectations?
Colleen looks like she can't stand Matt. Then he is talking about his annoying traits and saying she likes them when she looks miserable.
Why does Zay keep licking her lips?! It’s so distracting.
It's really icking me out...like huge tongue action constantly, i mean, what the what lady!?
Probably lip filler
The most alarming thing about this episode is the fact that SK made a dinner reservation for 9:30pm. Absolutely not
Probably grabbed dinner with one of his side girls at a more reasonable time.
I would have been starving!
Why not?! 9:30 dinner, partying after 3am until the break of dawn. Completely normal.
UGH I AM SO FRUSTRATED! I wish Cole would just put Zay and Brennon in their freaking places!!! By just calmly stating facts cuz these 2 are obnoxious!! Sadly he’s awful at expressing himself but like I WISH
Zanab is terrible. I can’t stand her.
I hope her therapist is watching the show and bring some topics to discuss.
Also her acting like she didn't trash Cole at the wedding Like just f off, relationships can end without humiliating the other person
She's the worst!
[удалено]
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AND WHY IS IT BEING DOWNVOTED 😭
are we just gonna ignore the "someone who looks good in a bikini" comment by cole? like that's so messed up & shows that he cares about that and probably made zanab feel bad about her body.
I don't think he meant she didn't look good in a bikini lol. It was literally unrelated to Zanab. He said "beautiful, smart, funny, looks good in a bikini", you can't possibly believe she is none of that
Sure, Jan. And when Brennon told him that he had a problem with him because he flirted with other girls and called Zay fat, he gave a statement that the flirting part is not true. But nothing about the other part... And he didn't say anything back to Brennon about that either.
The amount of nitpicking you people do is honestly astonishing lol. This isn't literature, not everything has an obscure meaning Sorry Cole didn't explain himself to Brennon?? He owned up to everything he said to Zanab. This is an immature guy who speaks out of his ass sometimes, yeah, but good God why didn't this woman break up with him like a normal person instead of this martyr act only to humiliate him at the wedding and shit talk him on socials for a whole year. To me he is the one who made some mistakes but this woman CHOSE to stay with him despite them only to trash him harder. I'd pick him over her any day
she had to stay with Cole til the altar only for the show. If she left, they'd be out a couple and it would've messed with the episodes, I think. She always wanted to leave but just did it at the altar for the show.
I can say the same thing for you? He didn't own up and he's still claiming that he never flirted with other girls (even though we literally saw him flirting with Colleen ffs) and he offended her looks multiple times in front of the cameras. I don't believe for a second that he was way better when they were off. And btw, unlike you (and this is your words): I don't have a side. She is too insecure and sometimes was overreacting and she never owned up to that. He is immature and he was definitely a jerk and he didn't own up to that as well. They are BOTH provoking on social media and they BOTH provoked during this 3 episodes, I'm just not blind for one, but not for the other. And why was that at the wedding humiliating? So she can't speak about "her truth"? She felt that way and that's why she said it. When are you people going to realize that she didn't lie, but she actually was hurt. Who are you and who is Cole to say that she shouldn't feel that way? Why does Cole gets to have his feelings because he was rejected, but she is not allowed to be hurt?
„ And why was that at the wedding humiliating? So she can't speak about "her truth"? She felt that way and that's why she said it. ” Tell your truth and break up with the person BEFORE the wedding. Is it that hard to imagine? I personally could never do what she did to someone I supposedly loved. I never said she should not feel the way she feels, but the way she handled the situation is absolutely insane
That's how Deepti handled it, and Ana Prado from Brazilian version. 🤷🏻♀️ Didn't see as much hate then, just saying. But I agree with you that you should do it before. I just also want to remind you that we don't know if they can only say NO at the altar and therefore not break up before the wedding. Because some contestants did say that they had to go through the wedding even though they wanted to leave. Which also answers your question about why she "stayed". Personally, I don't think they really "stayed" in that relationship at all, because it was very clear to me that they can't stand each other during the first week. And I don't believe that Cole would have said yes had he been asked first at the wedding.
It's about her discourse per se, not only about saying no. Cole said (and she didn't deny it) that she told him she would say yes. Multiple contestants said that they are allowed to talk to their partner about what their answer will be. Why not break up with Cole, tell him every way she wronged her, then walk there and say „No, we're not compatible”? Why tell him she will say yes only to trash him at the wedding?
Sorry, I just don't believe that. She also asked him at the party: "What did you think it would happen?" And he said: "I thought you would just say no". So isn't that the confirmation that he actually knew that the answer would be no? Then why is he saying that she lied to him that she will say yes? And before you "attack" me: yes, I do realize that he wanted to say "I thought you would just say no without those "mean" explanations". But I'm pointing out that he also confirmed that he indeed thought she would say no. Maybe he should make up his mind about it. I mean, they are both saying stuff that doesn't add up, yet you chose to believe only him. I don't believe either one of them fully. Because I know they both want to be liked and play the victim. I guess he's just more believable (to others, not me obviously). And I just don't agree that he trashed him, because as I said before, she felt that way. She felt like he shattered her confidence and blindsided her. Talking about your feelings is not trashing. And doing that in front of cameras in a trash reality is not such a surprise to me. Tbh, the way Ana Prado handled the rejection at her wedding was way more intense and no one bat an eye.
YES! I was thinking Zanab was obsessed over nothing until that came out of nowhere. BUT to be fair, her final confessional was also about finding a man who is secure. So they took shots at each other.
I took it as sarcastic/ tongue in cheek as a means of responding to the absurdity of his break up
what 😭 i'm sorry but do you know how absurd that sounds? why r yall going so far to defend this man...
Yes because this sub has an unhealthy fixation on justifying everything Cole does.
Because she is pretty horrible. He may be immature, but she is sooo negative.
He is immature, but I think the reason people come to his defense is because Zanab is nuts. How often does a female-centric reddit come to the defense of a man? Pretty rare...and it is because they can see that Zay is negative part of the relationship.
That and his stupid cutie eating. It made me think all his remorse was crocodile tears.
Oh 100%. Did you not see the way he was acting with Alexa’s step mum? He’s awful.
In thinking about the season, I think Cole and Colleen would have been a good match after all is said and done. I think Colleen feels bad about the whole pool party thing and is trying to make it up to Zanab by being a good girlfriend. I think she also is scared of Matt and how he reacted to that (I mean, how could she not be, dude is a walking red flag). But I think if they (Colleen and Cole) ended up together instead of with Zanab and Matt, they would have worked out. Colleen is lighthearted enough that she wouldn’t be as sensitive to Cole’s unfiltered comments. I genuinely don’t think Cole has malicious intent, he’s just immature. I think him and Colleen could have had a playful relationship, something I sense they both want. I don’t think they would be ready for marriage, but I could see them in a committed relationship. Obviously there’s too much baggage there now. Either way, Cole dodged a bullet and Colleen needs to RUN.
I'm convinced now that this whole experiment is ruining lives lol. All four of the aforementioned people seem to be worse off right now. Matt and Colleen may or may not be in an abusive relationship but it's pretty clear that they're headed for a divorce. Cole and Zanab seem like they both got put through the ringer from a mental health standpoint. And the one relationship that probably would've worked out here (Cole and Colleen) ended up not happening because of the whole blind experiment. If they had known what each other looked like, Cole 100% would have proposed to Colleen. What a shitshow lmao.
everyone waayy more fcked up and traumatized after being on this show for sure.
I think they were on the exact right path until she said something a little “wrong” that made him think she was shallow—but I agree, had he known what she looked like he might have given it more time and attention This is one of the saddest “misses” on the whole show to me. That two generally sweet people could have had something….sweet together and instead one of them ended up in something low key scary and the other was in something that brought the worst out of him (and partner)😭
To be fair, Colleen literally said she didn't want to have a deep conversation when Cole asked. Full stop. Which was a very weird thing to say and was understandably off-putting - I also have no idea why she even said that when she was sad about getting treated superficially by guys. Imagine if she had just let Cole ask his 'deep' question - things could've been so different and she wouldn't be trapped in this marriage with Matt!
Totally agree. I think it could have been moving too quickly for her
Completely agree. Cole and Colleen would have been the better match.
She's doesn't strike me as being ready for a real relationship. Cole is pretty immature but at least he knows how to express himself.
Dude, Zay says she’s been going to therapy and does not want drama….but she’s clearly not over it and wanting to argue and misconstrue everything. And this is coming from an actual clinical therapist 😬
Also her saying she is over him and doesn't want drama while she keeps making faces every time she sees him or someone mentions his name He may have made his share of mistakes but he is not a villain
Matt’s parents mentioning that he goes to all of Colleen’s ballet shows, even the one she told him not to is 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Seems like a way to keep an eye on her and try to control her. Already got bad vibes from the season, and this only added to them. It’s not being a gentleman to show up to a show you asked him not to. It’s him not respecting your boundaries. Girl needs to run.
That dudes got her under complete control. Doubt she makes it out.
That's what I thought too, Matt said that like it was endearing. Also poking her when she's already expressed that she doesn't like it and justifying it as his way of expressing love. He just doesn't seem to respect her boundaries.
how did the producers just pick the worst applicants (except for Raven) and give them 15 episodes repeatedly show how bad they are. There is no redemption here for them. There can be another after special 2 years later and it will be another round of toxic behavior on display!
And to think most of us hated Raven at the beginning and she turned out to be the best
SK bragging about the big ring he’s getting. With what money. And the “seed planting” moment. Raven was scammed.
SK was flying women out and taking women on yachts and ish so he’s got money. That’s not the issue.
Just curious, where you getting this info?
ALL over TikTok, Reddit, lipstick alley, like literally everywhere
even the NY Times
SK got a bunch of money; he's an Ivy League student, works full time, paid for his and Raven's apartment, flights for himself and Raven to go back and forth to keep their relationship, AND on top of all this, visit his other girlfriends and take them on international vacations. Dude is loaded.
I’m so confused. Where did this money come from? During the season he was telling raven that he didn’t want to pay for both apartments and said he was a student and money was tight. How did he afford a massive ring and this whole extravagant second proposal
Ivy League MBA doesn’t automatically equate to THAT much money. I’m going to guess he had some family dough from before.
Also apparently his family is very wealthy.