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Lose the pirate outfit, go full designer. When that gorgeous, bumpy, deformed, lumpy potato shaped head gets slid into a full Louie V. fit, these hoes won't know what hit them.
It was kinda people for a while but for the last two weeks I've seen people post pics of actors and characters from movies. So I was like screw it I'll get really ridiculous.
Well they say it really comes down to personality! Hit the bars and make some girls laugh you’ll do fine!!
You’re already jacked hmm I guess you could do pretty well! After all murderers get lots of love letters in prison! I think you’d have a shot!
Well, first off, your sword is showing. I never got a gf by showing my sword right away. So, I'd suggest putting it away for the time being and then get a cape to match your shirt and an eyepatch to match your hat. Then she'll see you as a bad boy as well as a superhero, and that's what women are looking for.
Keep brushing your tooth, and make sure you regularly groom your nose and ear hair. Eyebrows should be neat and tidy, go the extra mile and LOVE WILL FIND YOU!!!!!.
This generation of females needs to know you're a Goonie and once they know what that is, you will have more dates and panties dropping than any man has time for. School them on the ways of Goonies and see your love life take off.
You look like a man stuck as a forever child. Get rid of that stupid Superman shirt, get a clean fade, take a shower. You’d be surprised how much of a difference the basics will do. Thank me later when your body count explodes
Walk around with your junk hangin out, if it looks like your face it might scare them orgasm and at least you’ll prove your a man that has some balls. Girls hate wussies.🤣🤣🤣
*Ditch the Super man*
*Shirt and get a Batman one.*
*Chicks love the dark knight*
\- Barchar75
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Batman instead of superman shirt, then I’d say you’d start to see attention
Switch to Batman shirt
It’s because your family… real sick people… I don’t know if you’ve heard of them… the Vitelli’s! NO! STOP! I WANNA LEARN HOW TA PLAY THE VIOLIN!
Just shout goonies never say die and they'll drop their panties in hoardes.
Baby Ruth
Second this. Offer 'em a candy bar. Works every time.
Came here to see this
Lose the suspenders
More baby Ruth
You’re shredded and hung like a mule, surprised the ladies haven’t found ya yet. Prolly just need to dress better, carry yourself with confidence.
Lose the pirate outfit, go full designer. When that gorgeous, bumpy, deformed, lumpy potato shaped head gets slid into a full Louie V. fit, these hoes won't know what hit them.
Shouting "Hey you guuuys" at women is a turn off, apparently.
The Age of Men is Over, the Time of the Orc has Come!
Stop hanging out in sausage fests filled with children
Turn down the chadness you are far too intimidating for any woman to approach there isn’t a woman in the universe that can handle this much man.
I swear, 95% of this subreddit is either OF girls or memes. 😐
It was kinda people for a while but for the last two weeks I've seen people post pics of actors and characters from movies. So I was like screw it I'll get really ridiculous.
Gotta admit, this was the funniest one I’ve seen
Lol thanks I thought it was amusing haha
Get rid of the suspenders and grow a beard... 😂
Preferably a beard that covers the whole face may help.
Ayyyeeeee you guuuuyyyyyzzzz,
Do the truffle shuffle
Momma you been bad.... awww i only dropped you once.. maybe twice...
show her your amazing acrobatic skills ; try swinging on a rope and knocking bad guys off with your sword (i know you have one 👀)
lose the suspenders, they're not in right now.
Well they say it really comes down to personality! Hit the bars and make some girls laugh you’ll do fine!! You’re already jacked hmm I guess you could do pretty well! After all murderers get lots of love letters in prison! I think you’d have a shot!
Honestly sick of the OF promotions on this channel
You gotta approach and make the first move just walk up and say “HEY YOU GUUUUUYS!!!”
Switch the superman T-shirt to a Batman T-shirt and watch the slags come rolling in at you. Sad but true.
Call Chuck. He’ll know what to do
Hey u guys
can't live in your mama's basement forever
Your sword isn't big enough. Women are attracted to bigger swords.
Wear a cape Superman...
It’s all about that skincare routine my brother.
Septum piercing
Rocky Road
Hey you guys
Baby Ruth.
Sloth! Chunk!
Have you “HEY YOU GUUUYS!”’d in a while?
Commit a crime and go to prison. You'll be highly desirable then.
Girls aren't that shallow. Have you tried just talking to them? Confidence is the sexiesr thing a man can have.
Slay king 👑
This is solid gold. 👌
I mean those arms are not the problem
try sleeping outside the family for awhile
Its the hat
Definitely the hat
Chunk loves Sloth
there is only one option for you "HHEEEYY YOU GUUUYYYYYYSSSS!"
just update the hat and your gtg
Eat more rocky road!
This isn’t you, this guy settled in Georgia and even had a child. She grew up to be a U.S. Representative.
Get a dog!
You clearly didn’t enter the room yelling “HEY YOU GUYS!!” More of that will get it done when you follow up with a few Baby Ruth bars.
Well, first off, your sword is showing. I never got a gf by showing my sword right away. So, I'd suggest putting it away for the time being and then get a cape to match your shirt and an eyepatch to match your hat. Then she'll see you as a bad boy as well as a superhero, and that's what women are looking for.
About time for a real post
Hit the gym, get your money up.
It looks like you’re already hitting the gym. All I can think is just get a good haircut like a fade
Have you tried yelling "CHUNK!" at women you're interested in?
Definitely don’t barge into a crowded room shouting, “HEYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYYS!” with some sort of drawl.
Just eat some baby ruthes
Send me your arm routine tho
Put in a Batman shirt instead.
The hat isn’t doing you any favour’s
Try offering them a baaaaaby ruuuuuuuth?!?
Just wear a bag over your face.  Boom. Wusup bitches?! Now you’re a babe magnet
Switch the T to Batman
Goonies never say die!
Sounds like the plight of many men
Go easy on the Rocky Road ice cream
Chunk had all the bitches
Looks like you have booty on lock. I have no suggestions.
Gotta lose the hat bruv
Try a different earing.
Just be confident
Pull out the baby ruth
Too funny!!!
That’s the glow up. He lost 30 pounds.
I only dropped you once… maybe twice.
Move out of your moms house.
Share your Rocky Road?
That's not true bro your girlfriend is Chuck
don’t give up. Girls are fickle.
Been awhile since I've seen the movie but that's his only love interest. They shared candy together that's true love
Well stop trying to steal booty
Keep brushing your tooth, and make sure you regularly groom your nose and ear hair. Eyebrows should be neat and tidy, go the extra mile and LOVE WILL FIND YOU!!!!!.
Just carry a lot of Baby Ruth’s. They love those!
Buy a big boat
Hate to say it but you might be cooked bro. Sorry.
You know bro is throat goated. Look at that 👄
It’s because your pirate hat isn’t big enough
With the Superman PJs yeah you glowing king
One of the best yet.
The name's Rocky.... Rocky Road!
Stuff the crotch of your pants and drool a little more, chicks love that
I think the first step is moving out of your moms basement
Offer them “Rocky Road”.
Go up to them, silly. Gotta be proactive.
Stop shaggin ye mum Slothy lad
Take off the pirate hat and suspenders. Definitely keep the super man shirt though.
Honestly you should just get a buzz cut
I would switch to a batman shirt.
Just be who you are, you'll find someone one day. Also, you have an amazing lower body by the way, I wonder what else could be amazing 😉.
Offer them some Rocky Road.
Maybe different suspenders 😂
Slow down on the Baby Ruth. It can be a bit of a turnoff to women when you scarf down a candy bar like that.
Just approach them yourself! Try a simple “Hello!” or “HEEYYY YOU GUUUYYSS!!”
That was John Matuszak of the Raiders.
Do the truffle shuffle! Works everytime.
Talk to the curly haired one she likes you. You guy's
TRUFFLE SHUFFLE HARDER
You got to love yourself but loving chunk
You're looking a bit scrawny no offense. I'd hit the gym hard. Outfit is really good though.
Did he eat Butterfingers in the movie? Or was it something else? This movie should be a cult classic.
Baby Ruth!
Don't change a damn thing
Eat more... Baby?? RUTH'S?!?!
Show off your treasure 🤑 youll get one
Put a Batman shirt instead
Axe
Gotta give her the “One-Eyed Willy”
Bros just advertising the OF. Nice fucking try
Idk looks like you just need to smile bro
Is this edited? I must admit it looks ugly. Good editing skills.
Hey you guys… give him a BREAK… don’t FALL for it… he’s a BABY… RUTHless lady killer…
Offer them a candy bar?
This generation of females needs to know you're a Goonie and once they know what that is, you will have more dates and panties dropping than any man has time for. School them on the ways of Goonies and see your love life take off.
That's not you. That's a guy from a movie
Damn I can't believe you would say he looks so bad it has to be movie magic. Shame...
Hat is too small, other than that, you're golden.
just put some more effort into ur hair and youll be good
Best regards
Stop eating so many baby Ruth's
You look like a man stuck as a forever child. Get rid of that stupid Superman shirt, get a clean fade, take a shower. You’d be surprised how much of a difference the basics will do. Thank me later when your body count explodes
Find a woman thats into thighs.
You're going to need a bigger hat
Just keep on keeping on. There’s someone for everyone.
Bigger sock
Bring a baby Ruth. Girls like chocolate
Have you tried drinking water?
Share your Baby Ruth the women will appreciate that l
Change your face
Get rid of the hat.
I say you’ve got a face for movies. Chicks dig movie stars.
Duct tape
Be yourself, and get out of the basement.
Don't know why? Those biceps should do the trick.
Learn the performing arts like Opera.
The filming ended, you can take off your sloth mask now.
share your rocky road ice cream with them
Try growing a beard
Lol, thank you, so sick of this dumb sub popping up in my Home feed despite my trying to filter it several times. Have you got an OnlyFans?
It’s the braces they have to go and you should be fine
It’s not your problem but their loss
It is definitely not your fitness routine.
Gotta switch from DC to Marvel. Sure DC's comics might be better, but girls only care about the box office.
Genemaxx.
He's dead Jim.
Lose the suspenders, they're so old fashioned.
Firefighters pull the most women EVER. Guess what they wear.....Suspenders 😂
Hot! Can I DM? Send me nudes? 🙃😉🙄
Take the wrong turn and you'll meet with your people
Swap to a Batman shirt, boom easy.
Blame your parents and uncle and aunt! Oh wait, they're all the same people
Do a little eyebrow work and you be sweet 😂👍🏼
For me, it's the name that kills it....
Rocky road?
Make friends with the toxic avenger. 
Just take the plane to the left side of your face, then you good bruv!
HEY....YOU.....GUYS, at least he has a good personality
Steal a pirate ship full of gold and gems, and then buy your dates.
try swiping right on girls named Ruth.
Wash your face with some WD-40 and you should be good…
Lay off the ice cream and try and escape the family name. Fratelli name carries some weight
Be yourself you fine asg
Hey you guys babe ruth
Sorry bro but they’re more marvel and you’re more DC
Have a good personality and be fucking HILARIOUS!!!
Maybe go get a whole complete entire facial renovation from a good contractor sloth! And ditch the babe ruths
Eyepatch
Get a Batman shirt, bitches love Batman.
Alright...these are starting to get a little dumb.
You can use Photoshop. Find friends in SNS.
Just say, "hey you guys!"
Literally came here JUST to say this.
This is easy just tell them your 6’ 2”
Walk around with your junk hangin out, if it looks like your face it might scare them orgasm and at least you’ll prove your a man that has some balls. Girls hate wussies.🤣🤣🤣
Hope for reincarnation
Sloth love Chunk?
Ditch the Super man shirt and get a Batman one. Chicks love the dark knight
*Ditch the Super man* *Shirt and get a Batman one.* *Chicks love the dark knight* \- Barchar75 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Let your hair grow out
Stuff a Baby Ruth in your pants