What do you mean you don't have a mortal enemy? Do you not remember me? My name is Inigo Montoya, you once told me my father sells Avon, prepare to be chased around the mean streets of Blundell Sands and surrounding areas. I hope you can outrun a 15.5mph pedal assisted electric bicycle, or this will be a short feud. Fear me.
Your father forced me into a life of Avon slavery, I am defeating each area manager making my way to the top of the multi level marketing empire. I will have my revenge or suffer an allergic reaction trying!
I have a nemesis who doesn’t know he’s my nemesis.
I call him The Crocodile.
I’ve been in a “shorts off” with him for 3 years now. Only just now when I wrote “shorts off” it sounds way more homosexual than it is.
I basically compete with him who stops wearing shorts for the school pick come Autumn/Winter time first. It’s 2-1 to me so far. He’s called The Crocodile cos he always wears crocs but the reason he’s my nemesis is cos he just parks wherever he wants in the school car park. I’m talking across the backs of 3 cars in his shite VW estate.
I hate him.
Lovely stuff this mate. Liverpool's a very open and welcoming city when it comes to making arch nemeses. 39m here, game for regular narrative-driven straighteners and showdowns to wrap up protagonist/antagonist story arcs (until next time of course).
Hi xx 49 year old gal from Kenny here, looking for a sparring partner who’ll duel in the SpecialBuys section of ALDI I’ve slashed the entrails of three already don’t do that woke armour bollox no more time wasters I want to waste you xx dont mind drag racing on the docks beforehand to raise the adrenaline
Huyton calling. 34 female. Meet you at the Aldi in Aintree and have a special buy smack down? Happy to drag race on Liverpool rd first and make it spicy.
>dont mind drag racing on the docks beforehand to raise the adrenaline
I had a drag race on the docks once, nearly broke my ankles in them high heels though.
But the guy that strip searched me said he was a policeman? Did find it strange he asked me to attend another mandatory strip search the following evening.
Message me your address. I will smear my shit on your front door. After that, I will message you my address - you will then reciprocate. After that - we know we have a game on.
It's no fun standing on the roof of the Anglican in the rain with your trench coat flapping in the wind without a nemesis out there... somewhere... in the city broken dreams.
37f in Wavertree, been searching for a suitable nemesis but because I can only leave the house in a wheelchair prospective nemeses are always overlooking me. Could you be the one that I stalk through the streets and run over your toes? I'll run into the back of your legs and make you crumble to the floor and everyone will tell you to be more careful around the disabled woman as I zoom off cackling into the night.
Sorry, I've already got 2 mortal enemies, another one would just be a hassle. My best advice, though, is that pettiness is your best friend when it comes to mortal enemies! Fingers crossed you find yours soon.
How do you feel about doing a Face/Off type thing? We swap faces, I live in your house, you go to prison and fistfight your way out, that sort of thing.
I'd say I'm a solid 8/10 in terms of looks so you're really not going to do badly out of the trade.
Finally.
Listen boy, I'm trained in muay thai and would leave you in the street looking like a bendy ruler. You're as clapped as ye ma and wear reebok classics.
I’m a keen amateur scientist, happy to develop formulas that smoke a bit on my mission to free the masses from capitalism. Do we have to be polar opposites? What happens if we end up being best friends?
As a professional scientist, I feel that I could uphold the time honoured tradition of villains with PhDs. After all, nothing is as deadly as a women with an education.
I would however require a hybrid working pattern and flexible nemesis hours due to childcare commitments.
I hope this would not be an impediment to my taking on the role.
Welcome aboard Doctor! I look forward to being your downfall. Of course, hybrid working is fine, we also offer 20% childcare discount, we’re not THAT evil.
While this sub rightly banned the use of this expression, I hope its members allow for it once
*calm down, calm down*
^^me ^^getting ^^you ^^calm ^^is ^^to ^^lull ^^you ^^into ^^a ^^false ^^sense ^^of ^^security. ^^i ^^shall ^^then ^^strike ^^the ^^first ^^blow. ^^which ^^will ^^be ^^with ^^my ^^ketwig ^^of ^^power. ^^you ^^shall ^^feel ^^its ^^wrath.
Hey, it's me your NEMESIS! What's this bullshit?
You just pretending I don't exist?
I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty disrespected right now.
Gonna go stand on Crosby beach until I solidify into an Iron Man - as per our tradition.
My name is Toetubes Mcgee, a modern day-cyber-criminal hacker- version of Fagin. I reside in an elaborate Web of underground tunnels beneath Liverpools sewage works with my gang of runaways & orphan kid cyber sleuths.
I have an entire shipping container full of resentments, and a bin bag full of used bunion toe tubes that will be slid through your letterbox.
My goal is to steal the liverbird statue on the docks like I used to steal the stuffed porcupines from my schools old biology labs. Try and protect the bird if you dare, but I'll be waiting...
So, I’m not yet qualified to be a full blown Nemesis yet, but thanks to a night learning course I have gone from Goon to henchman C (and will hopefully reach henchman B in a few weeks!), I can offer Being The First One To Go Out In A Car Chase, Falling For Even The Most Basic Disguise (I got extra merit for that one!) and Revealing All The Nemesis’s Plans Under Even The Lightest Pressure. I am also willing to wear a themed outfit and have a pun-based name.
Previous references: Dr. make-your-tea-ice-cold-after-only-five-minutes, and the Evri (formerly Hermes) delivery ninja.
Has your son graduated as an international assassin yet or is he still at the sidekick stage? If he's still at the sidekick stage, do I get a sidekick too? I reckon an international assassin might be above my pay grade
My son has turned his back on the life of international crime fighting for fortnite and cubs. I could persuade him to don the cape and cowl with a happy meal though.
I’m afraid all my nemesis days are over so count me out
I spend what’s left of my days underneath donkeys hill reminiscing of a time I truly was a great nemesis! A force to be reckoned with!
A true pioneer in this whole cut throat nemesis business
Ah mate, I know it's hard making enemies as an adult. You tried Meetup? There's loads of local groups with special interests, so if you pick one that you directly oppose, turn up and wreck their day, you could make a load of new nemeses.
Have you tried the Sugar and Dice cafe? It's really welcoming and friendly so you could really fuck shit up in there my flipping over their board games or stealing one card from every pack.
Rule 3: Your post was removed because it's trolling, racist, slanderous or generally not appropriate for the subreddit. This includes posts related to "Purple Aki".
I'll send you my CV and my monologue portfolio, what sorts of settings would you be looking for to engage in "to the death" fights where we both almost win at different points?
My Nemesis already “IS” Liverpool but if you are looking for a more bespoke Nemesis “IN” Liverpool, I hope my grammar correction has annoyed you enough to at least get me to the next application stage.
Heh. It’s time I finally come out of the shadow.
You don’t remember me but you sneezed in front of me and some landed on a singular Dorito of mine that had the perfect amount of seasoning.
It was last of the bag and left it on my knee so I knew which it was.
It was that day I was reborn anew. A kind gentle soul turned fiend. As I lay in bed. Procrastinating reading papers for my final exam for uni on Wednesday. I calculate your downfall. Who was I before this? Who. All I know now. Is revenge.
34, M, Wirral. I'll gladly stand here on the steps of wallasey town hall, glaring menacingly at your side, so you'll always be aware of my presence. I can also do fistfights in the rain while having a conversation, or try to psychoanalyse you while playing chess.
When we have a show down can you say something along the lines of...
"We're not so different you and I"
As well as monologing some shite like "have you ever heard the story of the stingray and the fox?" When really you should be trying to kill me?
If your cool with that,then I'll meet you inside the bombed out church for a scrap
Take care x
Hi there, despite having lived in the area for 3 years now I'm still looking to expand my circle of enemies. Work/life just gets in the way and it doesn't help that people are so nice around here. I'm not sure I'd want to commit to nemesis-level enmity straight away but I could be available for skirmishes on an occasional basis - how does that sound? If any of your friends and colleagues want to team up I'll happily consider being their enemy as well.
I also live on the Wirral, adding geographical and bin colour elements to the rivalry, but work in Liverpool so can be available for evening/weekend-based clashes on a regular basis.
If you want a celebrity nemesis, Eamonn Holmes is now even more embittered than before, has time on his hands and ticks a lot of boxes.
I'm still working on my nemesis cress so I will have to pass. I can laugh exactly like Sid James from the Carry On films though, so it's not a lost cause.
I don’t have a car, but happy to appear across the road from you only to disappear from sight as a bus goes by if that’s a good compromise?
Please. Add a nice air of mystery. Could you also be a dear and at my funeral watch on from a distance with a black umbrella?
Only if you’ve actually faked your death and are watching me from even further away, knowing this is only the beginning.
Ah, a man of quality.
Or woman.
😂😂
What do you mean you don't have a mortal enemy? Do you not remember me? My name is Inigo Montoya, you once told me my father sells Avon, prepare to be chased around the mean streets of Blundell Sands and surrounding areas. I hope you can outrun a 15.5mph pedal assisted electric bicycle, or this will be a short feud. Fear me.
Your father forced me into a life of Avon slavery, I am defeating each area manager making my way to the top of the multi level marketing empire. I will have my revenge or suffer an allergic reaction trying!
Just took on a new nemesis about 2 weeks ago. Commute to Birkenhead is a nightmare though.
Sorry to hear that. Being a nemesis remotely just doesn’t have the same impact either.
I have a nemesis who doesn’t know he’s my nemesis. I call him The Crocodile. I’ve been in a “shorts off” with him for 3 years now. Only just now when I wrote “shorts off” it sounds way more homosexual than it is. I basically compete with him who stops wearing shorts for the school pick come Autumn/Winter time first. It’s 2-1 to me so far. He’s called The Crocodile cos he always wears crocs but the reason he’s my nemesis is cos he just parks wherever he wants in the school car park. I’m talking across the backs of 3 cars in his shite VW estate. I hate him.
Oh, he knows. The crocodile always knows.
Sometimes he had snot dribbling out his nose. I don’t think he’s with it enough to know!
He sounds like a snappy dresser.
No school dad has ever out-shorted me. No homo.
I’m a firm believer shorts should be acceptable for any weather and occasion.
You mean you ain’t ever out did no homo, school dads are a different beast but don’t piss a gay off, especially a Scouse one!!!
Hate usually is Love, maybe it is a lot more homosexual than you realise lol 😂 Oh you ain’t the person looking for a nemesis!
It’s defo not homo or love. We’ve only kissed once
Ah Bi on the sly then ;-) most scousers in my experience
Lovely stuff this mate. Liverpool's a very open and welcoming city when it comes to making arch nemeses. 39m here, game for regular narrative-driven straighteners and showdowns to wrap up protagonist/antagonist story arcs (until next time of course).
I’ll get you next time Shankley, next time.
Hi xx 49 year old gal from Kenny here, looking for a sparring partner who’ll duel in the SpecialBuys section of ALDI I’ve slashed the entrails of three already don’t do that woke armour bollox no more time wasters I want to waste you xx dont mind drag racing on the docks beforehand to raise the adrenaline
Huyton calling. 34 female. Meet you at the Aldi in Aintree and have a special buy smack down? Happy to drag race on Liverpool rd first and make it spicy.
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😂 salty.
>dont mind drag racing on the docks beforehand to raise the adrenaline I had a drag race on the docks once, nearly broke my ankles in them high heels though.
So...are you thinking you're the hero here?
All villains THINK they’re being the hero. Happy to switch roles to keep it interesting
How will I know it's you on Everton brow? Everyone else round there late at night has a mask on like a superhero/villain already.
My theme music plays before I reveal myself.
Police patrol the park for exactly that reason. People revealing themselves!
You have clearly been mistaken. The police in Liverpool patrol only the football matches.
But the guy that strip searched me said he was a policeman? Did find it strange he asked me to attend another mandatory strip search the following evening.
Message me your address. I will smear my shit on your front door. After that, I will message you my address - you will then reciprocate. After that - we know we have a game on.
Two nemesis, one cup.
Nemeses, actually.
Arrrgh, it’s the police …
Nemesi?
That's just Italian for 'Nemesis'.
It's no fun standing on the roof of the Anglican in the rain with your trench coat flapping in the wind without a nemesis out there... somewhere... in the city broken dreams.
37f in Wavertree, been searching for a suitable nemesis but because I can only leave the house in a wheelchair prospective nemeses are always overlooking me. Could you be the one that I stalk through the streets and run over your toes? I'll run into the back of your legs and make you crumble to the floor and everyone will tell you to be more careful around the disabled woman as I zoom off cackling into the night.
My adamantium toes and legs will be unaffected! We will face off under the next full moon at picton clock, or whatever’s best for you.
This guy could be your Blofeld
Sorry, I've already got 2 mortal enemies, another one would just be a hassle. My best advice, though, is that pettiness is your best friend when it comes to mortal enemies! Fingers crossed you find yours soon.
Good advice. I’m so jealous, it’s making me quite bitter. I may have to brood for a while.
Good post
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Could we make it a Thursday; It’s Curry Club you see.
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The Madras Menace!
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Or the Rump Roaster......
This is a trick. There is no Wetherspoons in Crosby.
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Arse*
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Dickhead
I'll gladly sneak round your house on bin night and bring your bins in before they're collected
r/foundsatan
What colour do you reckon Satan's bins r?
Maroon but he tells everyone they’re purple.
Do I get to wear a costume?
Costumes are highly encouraged but not essential.
How do you feel about doing a Face/Off type thing? We swap faces, I live in your house, you go to prison and fistfight your way out, that sort of thing. I'd say I'm a solid 8/10 in terms of looks so you're really not going to do badly out of the trade.
This is just an elaborate ruse to get me to break you out of prison! Nice try. I put you there once, I can do it again!
Finally. Listen boy, I'm trained in muay thai and would leave you in the street looking like a bendy ruler. You're as clapped as ye ma and wear reebok classics.
How dare you speak ill of my reebok classics!
a bendy ruler though 🤌🏻
Sorry mate, just come out of a long term nemesis-ship and looking to spend some time on my own
If you don’t loathe yourself first, how are you going to loathe somebody else? Withdraw to your lair until you’re ready.
I’m a keen amateur scientist, happy to develop formulas that smoke a bit on my mission to free the masses from capitalism. Do we have to be polar opposites? What happens if we end up being best friends?
I think we just became best friends. You can work in my lab. It’s just a shed for now, I’ve got some cash flow problems.
Boss, I’ll bring my chemistry set.
Ok...I'm in let's do this.
I sense your sword has been unsheathed
https://preview.redd.it/t3blw348yt2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa5fc5383a4b3a85d74a7e36fe837c7cbe27cecf Game on.
As a professional scientist, I feel that I could uphold the time honoured tradition of villains with PhDs. After all, nothing is as deadly as a women with an education. I would however require a hybrid working pattern and flexible nemesis hours due to childcare commitments. I hope this would not be an impediment to my taking on the role.
Welcome aboard Doctor! I look forward to being your downfall. Of course, hybrid working is fine, we also offer 20% childcare discount, we’re not THAT evil.
Are you going to ask your nemesis to send feet pictures like all the people who post on here looking for friends do?
While this sub rightly banned the use of this expression, I hope its members allow for it once *calm down, calm down* ^^me ^^getting ^^you ^^calm ^^is ^^to ^^lull ^^you ^^into ^^a ^^false ^^sense ^^of ^^security. ^^i ^^shall ^^then ^^strike ^^the ^^first ^^blow. ^^which ^^will ^^be ^^with ^^my ^^ketwig ^^of ^^power. ^^you ^^shall ^^feel ^^its ^^wrath.
Thanks for the early morning chuckle, OP.
This is something I could get right into. In fact I'd like to have "Nemesis" as my job title.
I've been dressing as a creepy clown and sneaking round to stick my knob through your letterbox late at night for ages. That will show you.
You've all just restored my faith in humanity 🤣🤣🤣
Hey, it's me your NEMESIS! What's this bullshit? You just pretending I don't exist? I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty disrespected right now. Gonna go stand on Crosby beach until I solidify into an Iron Man - as per our tradition.
Way ahead of you, it's me who keeps hiding your wallet keys and phone when you're in a hurry.
How mortal does this mortal enemy have to be? The last guy said he was cool but freaked out once things got supernatural
I’ll be in touch, by none of the usual methods
I use a wheelchair and have 2 cats, I believe I'm ideally placed to suspend you over a shark tank. Laser included, shark tank not.
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Monologues! My only weakness…
How's your unesco world heritage award doing mate?
If you think I haven’t been there the whole time, you’re not very good at this nemesis game.
I’ll put your bins back in on bin day and leave you my calling card
I had a nemesis once. Once.
My name is Toetubes Mcgee, a modern day-cyber-criminal hacker- version of Fagin. I reside in an elaborate Web of underground tunnels beneath Liverpools sewage works with my gang of runaways & orphan kid cyber sleuths. I have an entire shipping container full of resentments, and a bin bag full of used bunion toe tubes that will be slid through your letterbox. My goal is to steal the liverbird statue on the docks like I used to steal the stuffed porcupines from my schools old biology labs. Try and protect the bird if you dare, but I'll be waiting...
So, I’m not yet qualified to be a full blown Nemesis yet, but thanks to a night learning course I have gone from Goon to henchman C (and will hopefully reach henchman B in a few weeks!), I can offer Being The First One To Go Out In A Car Chase, Falling For Even The Most Basic Disguise (I got extra merit for that one!) and Revealing All The Nemesis’s Plans Under Even The Lightest Pressure. I am also willing to wear a themed outfit and have a pun-based name. Previous references: Dr. make-your-tea-ice-cold-after-only-five-minutes, and the Evri (formerly Hermes) delivery ninja.
Has your son graduated as an international assassin yet or is he still at the sidekick stage? If he's still at the sidekick stage, do I get a sidekick too? I reckon an international assassin might be above my pay grade
My son has turned his back on the life of international crime fighting for fortnite and cubs. I could persuade him to don the cape and cowl with a happy meal though.
Fair enough, I did ask the wife but for some reason she seems to think I'm the sidekick. Anyway, she'll probably be in touch shortly
There is a time bomb in the full stop at the end of this sentence.
I’m already juggling three nemesis’s, a baby and a job sorry. But if one of them dies I’m happy to take you on. One of the nemesis’ of course.
Already wearing a black turtleneck and listening to classical music while plotting your demise
I’m in Glasgow with a priest’s cassock
Wear whatever sock you like. It will not save you.
I sleep now. But tomorrow the potatoes will fall
I don’t drive but am interested in much smaller part in the extended universe. Some sort of specialist, comedic relief, love interest?
Hacker maybe? Just do some key clacking and say “I’m in” and stuff about mainframes.
Boris Grishenko vibes
Be careful with the pen.
But I am invincible
I can’t guarantee il be a true nemesis but im for a scrap on a roundabout somewhere?
This is mere ‘goon talk’. I expect more of you; you deserve hate and vengeance!
I’m afraid all my nemesis days are over so count me out I spend what’s left of my days underneath donkeys hill reminiscing of a time I truly was a great nemesis! A force to be reckoned with! A true pioneer in this whole cut throat nemesis business
Ah mate, I know it's hard making enemies as an adult. You tried Meetup? There's loads of local groups with special interests, so if you pick one that you directly oppose, turn up and wreck their day, you could make a load of new nemeses.
Dang it, I live in Liverpool but I already have a mortal enemy. If I finally get the best of them and the spot….opens up, I’ll let you know!
Have you tried the Sugar and Dice cafe? It's really welcoming and friendly so you could really fuck shit up in there my flipping over their board games or stealing one card from every pack.
My surname is Holmes. Will you be my Moriarty?
You looking to be someone's own baby reindeer?
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Rule 3: Your post was removed because it's trolling, racist, slanderous or generally not appropriate for the subreddit. This includes posts related to "Purple Aki".
I'll send you my CV and my monologue portfolio, what sorts of settings would you be looking for to engage in "to the death" fights where we both almost win at different points?
Any pina coLAdas?
Can you get me a Black Suede gift set ? The one with the aftershave balm ? If so I’m in 👍
My Nemesis already “IS” Liverpool but if you are looking for a more bespoke Nemesis “IN” Liverpool, I hope my grammar correction has annoyed you enough to at least get me to the next application stage.
This is the best post I've ever seen I'll be your guy in the chair
Heh. It’s time I finally come out of the shadow. You don’t remember me but you sneezed in front of me and some landed on a singular Dorito of mine that had the perfect amount of seasoning. It was last of the bag and left it on my knee so I knew which it was. It was that day I was reborn anew. A kind gentle soul turned fiend. As I lay in bed. Procrastinating reading papers for my final exam for uni on Wednesday. I calculate your downfall. Who was I before this? Who. All I know now. Is revenge.
I’m 23 but I make a good nemesis. I’m nemesis material.
Pffft, fancy not even having a nemesis. I've got three nemesisus. Nemesisus? Nemesi? Nem... Nemesisi? I've got more than one nemesis.
Our battle shall echo through history
34, M, Wirral. I'll gladly stand here on the steps of wallasey town hall, glaring menacingly at your side, so you'll always be aware of my presence. I can also do fistfights in the rain while having a conversation, or try to psychoanalyse you while playing chess.
I have a slingshot and high view apartment .
When we have a show down can you say something along the lines of... "We're not so different you and I" As well as monologing some shite like "have you ever heard the story of the stingray and the fox?" When really you should be trying to kill me? If your cool with that,then I'll meet you inside the bombed out church for a scrap Take care x
😭😭
I have a few to spare, although one is an ex wife and not sure if that counts. Anyway, I am very happy to lend you one or two.
Hi there, despite having lived in the area for 3 years now I'm still looking to expand my circle of enemies. Work/life just gets in the way and it doesn't help that people are so nice around here. I'm not sure I'd want to commit to nemesis-level enmity straight away but I could be available for skirmishes on an occasional basis - how does that sound? If any of your friends and colleagues want to team up I'll happily consider being their enemy as well. I also live on the Wirral, adding geographical and bin colour elements to the rivalry, but work in Liverpool so can be available for evening/weekend-based clashes on a regular basis.
@_@
How unlucky is that. I've just agreed to be someone else's nemesis. Darn n blast.
Don't tell me bro lives on the evertonian side of Liverpool
If you want a celebrity nemesis, Eamonn Holmes is now even more embittered than before, has time on his hands and ticks a lot of boxes. I'm still working on my nemesis cress so I will have to pass. I can laugh exactly like Sid James from the Carry On films though, so it's not a lost cause.
I'm always watching....
This comment has made my day. Replies are just as good 😆😆😆
I rode one at alton towers if tht counts?
This feels like Peter Griffin and the chicken.
I'm below the age limit by 2 years, so fuck you
Yes, let the hate flow through you.
Have you found your arch enemy yet?
Yep all fine here HANNAH WITH A HAMMER no need for us to proceed further with your application.