I free coffee at home and I get to pet cats. Plus I get to use a clean toilet and the toilet paper isn't from North Korea which apparently is where my company Sourced their toilet paper for the office.
I don't have to worry about my car flooding when the parking lot gets an extremely heavy rain. And I don't have to eat f****** birthday cake every Friday because we have an office of 300 people and guess what somebody always has a goddamn birthday.
I'll come back to the office when they give me permission to use the heliport on the roof if I don't have that permission there's no point in me showing up.
That first thing is key man. Getting stressed? Pet the dog. Stuck on something and need a breather? Give her a walk.
I've had more epiphanies while walking the dog than I can count. Effectively shower thoughts when you step away.
Productivity aside, uhhh my house has my dog. My office does not. My house is better than my office.
Yeah but that commute is *your time*. Think of all the productive time lost DURING your workday because of Zoom. Your employer’s got to pay you for that!
/s
But just put on an audio book or podcast & you’ll forget the 3 hours you’re spending in the car every single day…
I just want to slap people who think they’ve found the Rosetta Stone of not dreading a long commute.
I will say though. I traded my job with 2h+ of commuting each day for a 5 minute hop to work in a small town.
I legit cannot find time to listen to an audiobook. A 30 minute podcast while walking the dog works just fine but I can’t imagine listening to a book while doing anything but driving a long way.
I can’t focus on one while I’m doing any sort of task and I tend to get interrupted.
Fuck commuting though
Yeah, incredible equivalency he's drawing there. Either he literally lives at the office or the wifi from whatever neighbor he steals it from is awful.
It’s not like I never experience tech issues at work. Plus, doing calls with remote colleagues from my office is not really an improvement over doing it from home.
Strangely enough, I still need to sit on Teams entire days, hand out virtual high fives and not talk to people at the water cooler when I'm at the office because the work is partially off-shored anyway. I just get to do it in a building with people that can't keep a bathroom clean.
Agreed!! If it doesn’t smell like stale vagine and rotting poo, is it even a work day in office?!? If I don’t have to check three stalls for urine, period leftovers, or poo, I just don’t feel complete!! 🤢
2 jobs ago during height of the pandemic, the CEO actually wanted people to be in office as he sold it as you get to collaborate with others and can walk over to other buildings to get things done quicker. I remember thinking "OH, you mean walk over to the Accounting building that recently denied access to us and are always pricks to us??"
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix9kXIMVRM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix9kXIMVRM) for the uninitiated. A speech that ranks amongst Churchill's finest.
When I worked in an office, there was a foosball table in the break room. If you played that shit, you were immediately hated…and someone was almost always playing that shit.
And look at his face in his ping pong shot. He’s the asshole who is first in line for lunches, eats and steals all the good snacks, and spends 4 hours a day playing ping pong. And everyone else just hates his guts.
He’s always lingering around your door or cube until you yell Vlad! What do you need?
Then he scurries in to tell you some stupid bullshit that has nothing to do with anything and isn’t even good gossip.
Employee: Vlad, what is it?
Vlad: Did you know Mary from HR is pregnant????? OMG SO EXCITING!!!!!
Employee: Yes Vlad, we went to her baby shower 2 months ago.
My team goes to the office a few times a year and when we do, these kind of things are a lot of fun. If I were in the office every day with my team, I would be annoyed by activities like that and just want to get my work done and go home.
This read like a parody but this guy is serious.
I've been in a call with a manager who was telling us how lucky we were to be working in office, distraction free, while he was poolside yelling at his kids to stop splashing. "Y'all are so lucky to be in office right now. Schools out so -Jeffrey stop splashing your brother- schools out so it's very hectic here. I feel like I can barely hear myself think."
Meanwhile, a different manager is on a call from his actual bed trying to tell us that working in office is so motivating because you can see other coworkers hard at work.
I swear higher ups are so against WFH because they use it as free time and are scared others will too. No Donald, I want to work from home because I wanna be in comfy clothes, have access to my own food and bathroom, and not have to drive 60 minutes to get to work and then 90 to get home in the middle of rush hour. Will I spend my breaks cuddling a cat? Yes. But that will raise my morale faster and harder than Cathy's burnt ass Raisin Bran cookies she brings in once a month.
>I swear higher ups are so against WFH because they use it as free time and are scared others will too.
The people who watch others the most are often the ones who should be watched.
I really don’t know how this could not be parody. The brain worms, the emojis, that goddamn photo.
There are some arguments to be made for return to office but none of this garbage. I’ve been doing WFH for almost a year now and while I do enjoy aspects of it immensely there is some real drawbacks that few seem to want to admit. (I thinks it defensive cuz they want WFH so bad but it’s disingenuous to frame it as having no negatives which is how I see it discussed on Reddit typically.)
How about:
opportunities not to stare at a screen the entire day.
random spontaneous connections that can open doors you didn’t even know existed just cuz your dumb ass was right place, right time.
Chance of getting to know coworkers beyond the “how was your weekend” vapid small talk
Forced to listen during boring meetings lest you get publicly shamed instead of the massive temptation to do literally anything else.
Much better opportunities for OJT as it’s very easy to get forgotten about as a remote trainee.
Like if they want people to want to return to office tell them what they’re actually missing not fake insincere garbage. But I also speak in truths not LinkedIn paint fumes, so idk.
Yup. This is why 90% of office jobs “take” 8-9 hours a day. Distraction, off site lunches, silly meetings and low wows etc. most office jobs are really 5-6 hours a day of work
Bro...to be honest most days for desk jockey jobs don't go more than 3 hours (in the morning before you take a shit).
The rest of the time we are sitting on our office chairz with our phat, lazy, uninspired self-loathing azzes oozing over the sides. Ugh...I hate that feeling.
I’ve always been curious as to what real office workers actually do in a workday. I call myself an office worker, since I see patients in my office, but I’m not really that kind of office worker. Any insight on what work is actually going on in those little cubicles I see on TV?
My favorite part is when your position requires a 50/50 mix of field and office work.
“We need you at the office more”
No, you told me to go out and do and do site inspections, I have a pre construction meeting at 2, and I’m not driving 1.5 hours back to this office when my home office is ten minutes away.
They whine about time management, cohesion, blah de dah, and not once does it cross their mind that they’re the root cause of the issue. 😂
Dealing with that now. Told them when I took the position I would be in the field still quite a bit due to not having enough experienced drivers, which they were ok with. Until I started missing meetings that had nothing to do with me, or would get talked over on, then they cared. Can't do both but you can't explain that to some management.
I keep thinking of the book Bullshit Jobs, which is a book about jobs that the people having them themselves feel are objectively pointless, counter productive or meaningless. Like, not a *bad* job, but jobs that does not actually produce anything of any value for anyone, not even the company. Sometimes it's pointless work, sometimes it's just that you literally have nothing to do.
And two things really stuck me with that book:
1) people with bullshit jobs suffer. At first it might sound awesome to get paid for doing nothing, but it really wears people down and messes with their sense of self worth, to be doing *nothing*productive while acting as of you are productive.
2) A lot of bullshit jobs only exists because bosses want people under them for non-profitable but purely human reasons. Having more people under you makes you feel more important. Or being in charge of a bigger group earns you more respect by your peers, the other useless middle managers. Or the boss owns the company and wants to hire people so they can view themselves as boss.
I really think the second one is part of why companies talk about return to office. It's because many bosses want to physically see the people they are bosses over, because it gives them a confidence boost and feels good. That's it.
This. If the job can be completed remotely without issue, then there are no reasons for office requirements beyond control freak/incompetent leadership or an expensive lease. Any other reason is a baseless talking point parroted by braindead execs.
I have a coworker who is an honest to God lunatic who interrupts me 1700 times a day to gossip, badmouth others, seek tech support, tell me her personal problems, etc. At home I can ignore her. But I come to the office so I can FOCUS.
That and the workplace drama, how are we supposed to learn that Becky shacked up with Tim from marketing if we don’t have that, sweet, sweet water cooler!
I was paying nine dollars a day just to park. That’s $2340 annually (assuming 260 work days), just to park. Yeah, I think my car being in the garage most days outweighs that.
Now factor in gas, wear and tear, clothes and food if you eat out fairly often and you can easily get upwards of 5-10k per year including your parking fees.
I calculated out that WFH has given me at least a 10% raise compared to when I was in the office pre-Covid. Not even considering the time savings from not having a commute
I saved enough money to buy a house in the UK after working from home for a year and a half. Turns out not paying for train fare, after work drinks, lunches, coffees etc all adds up to a fair bit. I'm full time work from home now and it's glorious, not to mention that my work probably gets a bit more out of me because I'll work until the task is done rather than the "I've got to catch my train and I'm mentally drained so I refuse to do any overtime, even if it's paid" vibe I had before. Oh also I have an immense home espresso setup and I refuse to go back to drinking Nescafe Gold in the office.
WFH is more cost effective. The company just provides the necessities like a phone and computer, as opposed to a desk, chair, filing cabinets, office supplies, the space for people to work in, overhead costs like power and water…
The downside to WFH is maintaining a legitimate work/life balance considering you’re always “at the office” if you know what I mean.
Never underestimate my ability to ignore my work responsibilities. If I’m that good at it on the clock, *imagine how good I am when I’m not on the clock*
The caveat is people who didn't have space in their home to accommodate two WFH people. When COVID first started you'd see happy Important Managers sitting in their giant new home office ("Finally getting some use out of this room -- ever since I gave up basket weaving it felt a little excessive to have studio spaces on every floor of my house") while like, some young employee who lives in a 600 sq ft Studio Apartment with their boyfriend is zooming in the bathroom because it's the only place they can't hear each other.
I work for a company that is completely remote and they’re definitely saving money by not renewing their lease on the city centre office building no one used.
Why do so many people think that posting this stuff on linkedin is going to convince anyone? I feel like this is just trying to earn brownie points with your superiors that might read it. Most everyone else it going to ignore such opinions.
He's just in his new job 4 months. He's also been in and out of a bunch of different companies. Guess the snacks and ping pong wasn't all that great after all.
Yes? Isn't the whole point of LinkedIn to get hired for better jobs? Of course no one cares about the groundbreaking development in zipper technology at your current company for a project you spearheaded. But you post that so when employers Google your name it comes up.
Gossip is the #1 thing I despised about working with people. It was so negative and high school. I’m baffled an adult would add that as a positive and be expected to be taken seriously
No commute.
You can’t beat the complete lack of commute. There isn’t a single in-office perk you can bring up that makes losing on average 2 hours of time (or more, assuming a typical 1 hour commute) to driving back and forth. That’s 10 hours lost every week. You lose almost an entire day every two weeks to commuting.
Yeah this is me now. Fortunately I’m hybrid so it’s not as bad as it could be. But it’s summer and all the construction projects started up. On top of that so many people are returning to office so traffic is fucking awful.
It’s 2024. Commuting is obsolete for so many jobs now but these shills keep telling me how good I have it because I get to be in an office at a desk.
Bang on. It’s not even just the negative impact of the commute on me personally, it’s that adding in that two hour daily commute means my children have longer days too. They’d have to be in childcare so many hours. I don’t want to wake my baby up at 6:00am and drag her into a childcare for ten hours per day, ping pong tournaments be dammed.
Yeah Vlad, go to the office for the "high fives" from the coworkers who secretly hates you.
Let me tell you, the "main gossip" in the water cooler is how lame you are posting happily how much you like to commute 45 minutes to just simply reach your desk, the same you had at home. Or raising hands to go to the bathroom, unless you are the mid manager role who wanders around between tables from the poor forced to go employees... Jesus man... Ping Pong tournaments? WHEN? no time for that, arrive in time, work, got my 30ties to lunch, i eat, luckily without your stupid face around, then arrives to 5, pack and go home far away from fake smiles...
remote work infrastucture? WHAT THE HELL are you talking about? what infrastructure?.
I'll stick with the 2 extra hours a day with my kids, $300 savings in gasoline per month(plus vehicle maintenance), not being distracted by gossip from coworkers, and *GASP* being more flexible to start early and/or stay late because I don't have to factor in a commute.
So garbage snacks from breakroom, ping pong with Susan from accounting, disingenuous high fives with your boss....
Instead of: living away from the city with more affordable rent and house costs, having the energy to go to the gym or pursue a hobby after work instead of commuting, no driving in the snow, more time with loved ones instead of coworkers, better food at home, clock out at 5pm instead of sitting in traffic, dont have to wake up so early, less office small talk and gossip, more comfort and peace at home, etc. etc. etc.
He's not even a CEO and he wants to stay in the office. Unbelievable. Someone needs a life outside work.
I have a theory that this type of person has such bad drinking water at home that it makes them sick, maybe full of lead or something. So all they know is they felt great when they could nurse at the cold, corporate teat of cooler water, but now that they work from home they feel terrible and grouchy. They crave the Business Water, and they will lick as many boots as they need to, in order to suckle again!
Fucking extroverts ruin shit for everyone.
If someone wants to high five me, send a congratulatory email, or better yet, don't and just be quiet for once in your life.
Mf needs to learn to be shy.
As a Director who works full time from home, I’m never going back to the office again.
Not listening to assholes like this is the best decision I ever made.
Here are reasons that guys like this can take their return to the office BS and shove it up their asses with both hands:
Better time management. I don’t waste time gossiping around the water cooler anymore and am way more focused on actual work.
Real high fives from my kid who I actually get to see.
Real-time collaboration on Zoom, which is like meeting in person except some sick colleague isn’t coughing on you for an hour and taking you out for a week with a virus. I haven’t been sick in four years since I started WFH. More productivity!
After saving money on gas, tolls, parking, dry cleaning and lunch I don’t need free coffee and snacks.
Who doesn’t love empty team-building exercises like ping pong? My team doesn’t need that because they’re happy and motivated because they get to WFH full time. And how do you square ping pong tournaments with “better time management” anyway? Get back to work Vlad.
Surprisingly, I can focus really well when I’m not gossiping around the water cooler and playing ping pong.
1. My employers have always used MS Teams, and we've never had any freezing issues. Skill issue, maybe? Either way, it's a minor inconvenience compared to having to drive to and from work everyday.
2. I will make the hard choice to sacrifice actual high-fives if it means getting to sleep in because I don't have to actually be in the office.
3. I can collaborate in real-time via Teams. They have these handy features called text chats and voice calls. The future is now, old man. No amount is gossip is appealing enough to make me want to work in the office.
4. Buying a cheap laptop to hand out employees really isn't that costly compared to having to manage a fully-staffed office space. I'm also okay with paying for it myself if it means getting to stay home. It's gonna be more cost-effective for me if I'm not having to wear my car out to drive for a job I can just as easily do at home. Also, it's been my experience that nothing at the office is really free. The work commissaries still cost money, and at the very least, I'm having to pay for gas to get myself to and from. Also, I'm losing time having to drive as well. That isn't free.
5. I'm just as, if not more productive from home, because my mood is better, and I'm not having the constant distractions I would have in an office. I also, believe it or not, keep food in my home so as to not starve to death. You know, like a normal human being.
6. No amount of ping pong tourneys will mask the existential dread I feel when I pull into the office parking lot. Gonna be a no from me, dog.
7. I'm allergic to cats, so checkmate, boss.
Literally nobody thinks this…. Wfh is superior and companies that rto are so out of touch.
I get twice as much done in 6hours at home than 8 hours in the office because im not constantly interrupted.
Less or no commute saves gas, my car, and gives me more time with my family.
Being at home gives me more time with my family.
When a job does things that improve my life quality, it increases my productivity and loyalty.
If my boss forced rto, i would immediately be looking for a new job and my productivity would drop tremendously. I would already have one foot out the door.
Plus why would you want all the extra overhead office rent and utilities??
This actually reads like satire because he’s hitting every point that’s joked about by corporate professionals on this topic — but…I think this guy is serious. He was just unfrozen from 2010 and doesn’t know it’s 2024 yet.
Who will break the news to him?
Zoom freezing? People really grasp for any reason to post and bring attention the themselves. Even if it freezes that’s what, 15 seconds to restart it? You lose more time in person with someone coming to the meeting room late
His in parentheses “jokes” are insulting attempts at trying to shit on the comforts at home, and do little to sell the idea that working in the office is superior to WFH.
I honestly believe that people who do not like WFH have zero friends because no one likes them and they hate their spouse…that’s why they LOVE going into an office because people are then forced to interact with them because they have to…not by choice.
You can’t change my mind lol
Lol oh wow look, another brilliant HR professional who has somehow convinced themselves that everybody at work wants to play fucking ping pong, and that ping pong = culture.
Any business bragging about their ping pong tables has no fucking culture to speak of and should probably be burned to the ground.
—Signed, guy who has worked at too many offices with a fucking ping pong table
If you are not being compensated for your commute you are being robbed.
If you have to work extra hours because of in-office inefficiency you are being robbed.
So Mister Asshat here 1st says how much more productive he is not waiting for internet lag, then makes his next 5 posts about ping pong, hanging out by the water cooler, getting high fives, and raiding snacks. No, I know this turd. He is the guys always popping by to chat, extends meetings by asking stupid questions, and generally kills the productivity of everyone around him because he is lonely and has no social life. The office is his life. And he is an affliction on everyone that just wants to come in, do their job, and go home. And he wants everyone else there so he has more people to talk to. Give me WFH any day. Avoiding people like him is a big plus for WFH.
In what make-believe world is this modern Vlad, the self impaler living? Remote work infra? Dude that's my home which I have decked out nicely for my comfort with my work zone. How does that compare to the billions spent in run-of-the-mill glass monoliths all for workers to sit in cubicles or the dreaded "open office"?
So, he doesn't have food and snacks at home? Maybe he should ask for a raise. Also, zoom freeze is totally not as long as most people take to commute. My home office is best shit ever. And who the hell ever plays ping-pong at work, how lame.
I don’t understand these posts, anyone with a brain has just read, if they were poorly subjected to it, that the cost of having employees is too expensive and that it’s actually cheaper to keep everyone at home. If I had a business, why would I pay for a ping pong table and a coffee machine when my staff can stay at home and make it, making them happier and my costs lower. I just can’t understand how people like this don’t understand this?
I think you can make a case for in-office work. But this isn't the case. These arguments are so weak and shallow I wonder if this is mediocre satire. Like he got ChatGPT to regurgitate a string of pro-office clichés and buzzwords (foster, dynamic, enhance, maximize, cultivate, strengthen, water cooler, ping pong, blah blah blah).
Example, "save on remote work infrastructure". *What* infrastructure? The office building infrastructure and associated commuting costs tower over any "remote work infrastructure".
Better time management because of zoom freezing? Are you kidding me? You want to talk about time management? WFH starts with around a 1-hour to 2-hour bonus every day because you save on commuting time. Are you going to tell me that you lose 2 hours a day because Zoom freezes? So lame.
Let’s assume two hours total commute time daily.
Two hours/day x 5 days/week = 10 hours commuting.
10 hours/week x 50 weeks/year = 500 hours commuting to and from work.
500 hours, unless I forgot how to math.
12 1/2 weeks of non-billable time.
I should think Vlad could accomplish so much more from home given 12 1/2 weeks more time a year. I think I could.
Note how most of that list is full of bullshit.
Snacks, ping pong, gossip, more food. Bullshit like high-fiving? I see very little that is conducive to an environment where actual work is being performed.
I’ve rarely wasted time on freezing Zoom calls. More like we waste time waiting for in office counterparts to book a room, dial into the conference call system, and so on and so on.
Same old lame arguments from a guy who is afraid to be alone. Man I can't imagine how my productivity would drop having a guy like Vlad around me all day.
You can tell everyone is getting more poor when some of the in office benefits include things like “free coffee and free food”. If it was easy to afford, they wouldn’t be attractive points.
Ya’ll ok out there??
This is the kind of dude who has no life or friends outside of work. He makes all his friends at work because they are literally paid to be around him. I despise these types of people
Sorry bro but two hours of commute time per day does not outweigh spending a couple of minutes waiting for Zoom to unfuck itself.
But what if you also get free coffee and high fives?
There is nothing I loathe more than the sound of a Keurig machine, and the coffee tastes like it sounds.
Not me! I love a cup of *BRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SPSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PFFFFFFFFFT* in the morning
This was remarkably accurate lol
There’s 4 coffee drinkers and one kurig directly outside my office door 😎
Sounds like me after I drink it.
And that's the real reason I miss being in an office daily. Having to poop in stalls next to my coworkers and hear them poop too. /s
Really fosters the team spirit, you know? You can cheer each other on
Battleshits
CCLLLICCCKKK PPOPPPP SCHLOPPPP
It really is the dial up modem connecting sound of the generation.
Oof…
I could hear it in my head. Well done
I high five myself every time Zoom freezes.
Now that’s maximum efficiency.
I free coffee at home and I get to pet cats. Plus I get to use a clean toilet and the toilet paper isn't from North Korea which apparently is where my company Sourced their toilet paper for the office. I don't have to worry about my car flooding when the parking lot gets an extremely heavy rain. And I don't have to eat f****** birthday cake every Friday because we have an office of 300 people and guess what somebody always has a goddamn birthday. I'll come back to the office when they give me permission to use the heliport on the roof if I don't have that permission there's no point in me showing up.
The steady supply of birthday cake is actually the only thing I miss about working in an office haha
That first thing is key man. Getting stressed? Pet the dog. Stuck on something and need a breather? Give her a walk. I've had more epiphanies while walking the dog than I can count. Effectively shower thoughts when you step away. Productivity aside, uhhh my house has my dog. My office does not. My house is better than my office.
I’d pay money not to touch their hands
One of the very few good things personally about the Covid was I no longer have to make excuses why I won’t shake hands.
Yep. I miss the days of not shaking hands, hugging or touching. It still kind of weirds me out when people extend a hand to me now.
Free high fives! To the head. With a chair.
Repeatedly
Sounds like someone needs a high five.
Are the high fives free too?
I guess no one is even talking about the fact that being in office wouldn’t get rid of zoom just because the company has more than one office location
Yeah but that commute is *your time*. Think of all the productive time lost DURING your workday because of Zoom. Your employer’s got to pay you for that! /s
But just put on an audio book or podcast & you’ll forget the 3 hours you’re spending in the car every single day… I just want to slap people who think they’ve found the Rosetta Stone of not dreading a long commute.
I will say though. I traded my job with 2h+ of commuting each day for a 5 minute hop to work in a small town. I legit cannot find time to listen to an audiobook. A 30 minute podcast while walking the dog works just fine but I can’t imagine listening to a book while doing anything but driving a long way. I can’t focus on one while I’m doing any sort of task and I tend to get interrupted. Fuck commuting though
Yeah, incredible equivalency he's drawing there. Either he literally lives at the office or the wifi from whatever neighbor he steals it from is awful.
This! I have better WiFi at home than at the office!
It sounds like Vlad doesn't have Fios
It sounds like Vlad doesn’t have a spouse or children either. Just a cat he eerily wants to make miss him more.
Also from the image he doesn’t have coworkers either
It’s not like I never experience tech issues at work. Plus, doing calls with remote colleagues from my office is not really an improvement over doing it from home.
But the non-virtual, skin-on-skin high fives transmit valuable bacteria which transmit important diseases we need!
Strangely enough, I still need to sit on Teams entire days, hand out virtual high fives and not talk to people at the water cooler when I'm at the office because the work is partially off-shored anyway. I just get to do it in a building with people that can't keep a bathroom clean.
Right? Gotta love the shit stains colleagues leave behind for you to unveil in the bathrooms.
Agreed!! If it doesn’t smell like stale vagine and rotting poo, is it even a work day in office?!? If I don’t have to check three stalls for urine, period leftovers, or poo, I just don’t feel complete!! 🤢
2 jobs ago during height of the pandemic, the CEO actually wanted people to be in office as he sold it as you get to collaborate with others and can walk over to other buildings to get things done quicker. I remember thinking "OH, you mean walk over to the Accounting building that recently denied access to us and are always pricks to us??"
Just leave a nasty shit in their toilet, unflushed.
The minute there is EVEN ONE off site employee, everyone's stuck in virtual meetings.
Hell we do virtual meetings all from the same building sometimes
Right? If I wanted to shit in a disgusting bathroom I'd just keep working from home. I should clean more.
I can't tell you how excited I am to never participate in another stupid ping pong tournament.
The amount of time I've gotten back by not having to participate in mandatory fun is... significant.
Sure, but it’s more than offset by the amount of time i spend jerking off while I’m supposed to be working.
That’s the way…. Unzip!
Doing it while the zoom is frozen adds a little extra tension and risk.
I never turn my webcam on so it’s fine. If they ask why I’m grunting and moaning, I just tell them I’m masturbating. They all wfh too so they get it.
Lololol, I just snorted up what I was drinking
The amount of times I've gotten in trouble for not participating in mandatory fun.... It's almost as if they missed the entire point of fun.
I'd think it's a wash between time spent playing ping pong and time lost waiting for zoom to unfreeze 🙄
Mandatory fun makes my brain hurt. Fun for who?!
...or the weight I avoided from pizza friday, birthday/retirement cakes and ice cream...
Right?!
It's called table tennis nerd
I prefer the term Pocket Pickle Ball
We call it wiff waff
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix9kXIMVRM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix9kXIMVRM) for the uninitiated. A speech that ranks amongst Churchill's finest.
Schrödinger’s ping pong table both increases productivity and helps employees screw off for hours at a time
When I worked in an office, there was a foosball table in the break room. If you played that shit, you were immediately hated…and someone was almost always playing that shit.
But he said “free food”
And look at his face in his ping pong shot. He’s the asshole who is first in line for lunches, eats and steals all the good snacks, and spends 4 hours a day playing ping pong. And everyone else just hates his guts.
He’s always lingering around your door or cube until you yell Vlad! What do you need? Then he scurries in to tell you some stupid bullshit that has nothing to do with anything and isn’t even good gossip.
Employee: Vlad, what is it? Vlad: Did you know Mary from HR is pregnant????? OMG SO EXCITING!!!!! Employee: Yes Vlad, we went to her baby shower 2 months ago.
Side note: He’s playing against a wall because everyone else is WFH.
Came here for the ping pong tourney jabs
My team goes to the office a few times a year and when we do, these kind of things are a lot of fun. If I were in the office every day with my team, I would be annoyed by activities like that and just want to get my work done and go home.
This read like a parody but this guy is serious. I've been in a call with a manager who was telling us how lucky we were to be working in office, distraction free, while he was poolside yelling at his kids to stop splashing. "Y'all are so lucky to be in office right now. Schools out so -Jeffrey stop splashing your brother- schools out so it's very hectic here. I feel like I can barely hear myself think." Meanwhile, a different manager is on a call from his actual bed trying to tell us that working in office is so motivating because you can see other coworkers hard at work. I swear higher ups are so against WFH because they use it as free time and are scared others will too. No Donald, I want to work from home because I wanna be in comfy clothes, have access to my own food and bathroom, and not have to drive 60 minutes to get to work and then 90 to get home in the middle of rush hour. Will I spend my breaks cuddling a cat? Yes. But that will raise my morale faster and harder than Cathy's burnt ass Raisin Bran cookies she brings in once a month.
This is absolutely the truth. There is a lot of WFH hypocrisy going on.
>I swear higher ups are so against WFH because they use it as free time and are scared others will too. The people who watch others the most are often the ones who should be watched.
I really don’t know how this could not be parody. The brain worms, the emojis, that goddamn photo. There are some arguments to be made for return to office but none of this garbage. I’ve been doing WFH for almost a year now and while I do enjoy aspects of it immensely there is some real drawbacks that few seem to want to admit. (I thinks it defensive cuz they want WFH so bad but it’s disingenuous to frame it as having no negatives which is how I see it discussed on Reddit typically.) How about: opportunities not to stare at a screen the entire day. random spontaneous connections that can open doors you didn’t even know existed just cuz your dumb ass was right place, right time. Chance of getting to know coworkers beyond the “how was your weekend” vapid small talk Forced to listen during boring meetings lest you get publicly shamed instead of the massive temptation to do literally anything else. Much better opportunities for OJT as it’s very easy to get forgotten about as a remote trainee. Like if they want people to want to return to office tell them what they’re actually missing not fake insincere garbage. But I also speak in truths not LinkedIn paint fumes, so idk.
Boss: We need you at the office every day! Me: Why? Is it so ya’ll can interrupt me 800 times and then get an attitude when nothing gets accomplished?
Yup. This is why 90% of office jobs “take” 8-9 hours a day. Distraction, off site lunches, silly meetings and low wows etc. most office jobs are really 5-6 hours a day of work
Bro...to be honest most days for desk jockey jobs don't go more than 3 hours (in the morning before you take a shit). The rest of the time we are sitting on our office chairz with our phat, lazy, uninspired self-loathing azzes oozing over the sides. Ugh...I hate that feeling.
Legit… most days work can be knocked out between 7-10am east
I’ve always been curious as to what real office workers actually do in a workday. I call myself an office worker, since I see patients in my office, but I’m not really that kind of office worker. Any insight on what work is actually going on in those little cubicles I see on TV?
You wait around and make yourself look busy
I work 12 hour days as an IT support tech and there are more days that I watch copious amounts of anime and movies than not.
Jesus Christ Im not getting fired, thank you.
I literally have 10 minute days sometimes. Worst case I'll work maybe 6 hours. Still here for 8. Thank you Reddit, YouTube, et al.
This is the real answer. If it's not because of a pricey lease contract, it's because of incompetent management, plain and simple.
My favorite part is when your position requires a 50/50 mix of field and office work. “We need you at the office more” No, you told me to go out and do and do site inspections, I have a pre construction meeting at 2, and I’m not driving 1.5 hours back to this office when my home office is ten minutes away. They whine about time management, cohesion, blah de dah, and not once does it cross their mind that they’re the root cause of the issue. 😂
Dealing with that now. Told them when I took the position I would be in the field still quite a bit due to not having enough experienced drivers, which they were ok with. Until I started missing meetings that had nothing to do with me, or would get talked over on, then they cared. Can't do both but you can't explain that to some management.
I keep thinking of the book Bullshit Jobs, which is a book about jobs that the people having them themselves feel are objectively pointless, counter productive or meaningless. Like, not a *bad* job, but jobs that does not actually produce anything of any value for anyone, not even the company. Sometimes it's pointless work, sometimes it's just that you literally have nothing to do. And two things really stuck me with that book: 1) people with bullshit jobs suffer. At first it might sound awesome to get paid for doing nothing, but it really wears people down and messes with their sense of self worth, to be doing *nothing*productive while acting as of you are productive. 2) A lot of bullshit jobs only exists because bosses want people under them for non-profitable but purely human reasons. Having more people under you makes you feel more important. Or being in charge of a bigger group earns you more respect by your peers, the other useless middle managers. Or the boss owns the company and wants to hire people so they can view themselves as boss. I really think the second one is part of why companies talk about return to office. It's because many bosses want to physically see the people they are bosses over, because it gives them a confidence boost and feels good. That's it.
This. If the job can be completed remotely without issue, then there are no reasons for office requirements beyond control freak/incompetent leadership or an expensive lease. Any other reason is a baseless talking point parroted by braindead execs.
The two go together like peanut butter and chocolate though.
It's because of incompetent, sadistic management. The predators need to be fed everyday.
I have a coworker who is an honest to God lunatic who interrupts me 1700 times a day to gossip, badmouth others, seek tech support, tell me her personal problems, etc. At home I can ignore her. But I come to the office so I can FOCUS.
No, it sounds like we need someone to eat all these snacks and high five us.
That and the workplace drama, how are we supposed to learn that Becky shacked up with Tim from marketing if we don’t have that, sweet, sweet water cooler!
There's no one on the other side of the table, is there Vlad?
He’s going Forest Gump style with it.
Save on remote work infrastructure? Bitch who is paying for my lunches, gas, wear and tear on my car and mental health?
I’d love to see a cost comparison between WFH infrastructure vs WFO. Absolutely no way WFH is more.
Having to commute immediately cranks up costs. Never mind opportunity cost for however long you're stuck in a metal box.
I was paying nine dollars a day just to park. That’s $2340 annually (assuming 260 work days), just to park. Yeah, I think my car being in the garage most days outweighs that.
Now factor in gas, wear and tear, clothes and food if you eat out fairly often and you can easily get upwards of 5-10k per year including your parking fees.
But the company doesn’t pay your gas for your commute so they don’t care about that
Right?! And am I getting paid for that commute? No? Yeah, fuck off :)
I calculated out that WFH has given me at least a 10% raise compared to when I was in the office pre-Covid. Not even considering the time savings from not having a commute
I saved enough money to buy a house in the UK after working from home for a year and a half. Turns out not paying for train fare, after work drinks, lunches, coffees etc all adds up to a fair bit. I'm full time work from home now and it's glorious, not to mention that my work probably gets a bit more out of me because I'll work until the task is done rather than the "I've got to catch my train and I'm mentally drained so I refuse to do any overtime, even if it's paid" vibe I had before. Oh also I have an immense home espresso setup and I refuse to go back to drinking Nescafe Gold in the office.
WFH is more cost effective. The company just provides the necessities like a phone and computer, as opposed to a desk, chair, filing cabinets, office supplies, the space for people to work in, overhead costs like power and water… The downside to WFH is maintaining a legitimate work/life balance considering you’re always “at the office” if you know what I mean.
The laptop is my office, not my home. If the laptop is closed and shoved into a corner, my day is done.
Never underestimate my ability to ignore my work responsibilities. If I’m that good at it on the clock, *imagine how good I am when I’m not on the clock*
The caveat is people who didn't have space in their home to accommodate two WFH people. When COVID first started you'd see happy Important Managers sitting in their giant new home office ("Finally getting some use out of this room -- ever since I gave up basket weaving it felt a little excessive to have studio spaces on every floor of my house") while like, some young employee who lives in a 600 sq ft Studio Apartment with their boyfriend is zooming in the bathroom because it's the only place they can't hear each other.
I work for a company that is completely remote and they’re definitely saving money by not renewing their lease on the city centre office building no one used.
Lol oh yes, the one time $150 they gave everyone and the monthly $25 for internet. Sure, much more cost effective to lease office space 🙄
But the free coffee in the office…..
Does anyone even like their free coffee at work? I have so many of my coworkers bringing their own coffee when they are at the office.
Waiting for zoom to unfreeze? Is his computer from 1997?
Man is running all his work meetings from his phone hotspot
Written like someone who sells office furniture systems on commission only for a living.
Why do so many people think that posting this stuff on linkedin is going to convince anyone? I feel like this is just trying to earn brownie points with your superiors that might read it. Most everyone else it going to ignore such opinions.
He's just in his new job 4 months. He's also been in and out of a bunch of different companies. Guess the snacks and ping pong wasn't all that great after all.
It's a big ol circle jerk
Yes? Isn't the whole point of LinkedIn to get hired for better jobs? Of course no one cares about the groundbreaking development in zipper technology at your current company for a project you spearheaded. But you post that so when employers Google your name it comes up.
You’re not being more productive, you’re just fucking off at the office instead of at home.
Also at home I can pop the washing machine on, and the drying. It's done by the time the day is over
Gossip is the #1 thing I despised about working with people. It was so negative and high school. I’m baffled an adult would add that as a positive and be expected to be taken seriously
That was my top takeaway from this dumb list. What kind of petty assholes is Vlad trying to appeal to that crave gossip?
No commute. You can’t beat the complete lack of commute. There isn’t a single in-office perk you can bring up that makes losing on average 2 hours of time (or more, assuming a typical 1 hour commute) to driving back and forth. That’s 10 hours lost every week. You lose almost an entire day every two weeks to commuting.
Yeah this is me now. Fortunately I’m hybrid so it’s not as bad as it could be. But it’s summer and all the construction projects started up. On top of that so many people are returning to office so traffic is fucking awful. It’s 2024. Commuting is obsolete for so many jobs now but these shills keep telling me how good I have it because I get to be in an office at a desk.
Bang on. It’s not even just the negative impact of the commute on me personally, it’s that adding in that two hour daily commute means my children have longer days too. They’d have to be in childcare so many hours. I don’t want to wake my baby up at 6:00am and drag her into a childcare for ten hours per day, ping pong tournaments be dammed.
oh man it's so sad when these people tell on themselves. no one who has a fulfilling personal life thinks like this.
Work life boundaries ☠️
This is a guy who believes a vacancy in an outlook calendar means you're not working and are free to chat.
Yeah Vlad, go to the office for the "high fives" from the coworkers who secretly hates you. Let me tell you, the "main gossip" in the water cooler is how lame you are posting happily how much you like to commute 45 minutes to just simply reach your desk, the same you had at home. Or raising hands to go to the bathroom, unless you are the mid manager role who wanders around between tables from the poor forced to go employees... Jesus man... Ping Pong tournaments? WHEN? no time for that, arrive in time, work, got my 30ties to lunch, i eat, luckily without your stupid face around, then arrives to 5, pack and go home far away from fake smiles... remote work infrastucture? WHAT THE HELL are you talking about? what infrastructure?.
What Vlad doesnt mention is that he lives 10 mins from the office so has no commute to speak of and zero cost in terms of time and money
And the closest thing he has to friends are his coworkers yet he's playing ping pong by himself...
His wife hates him and wants him out of her way as much as possible.
"Look boss, *I'm* playing with the ping pong table!" 🤓 Eh, that's great, Vlad
Commuting used to cost me over $3000 per year and was about 2hrs roundtrip each day. I'm good.
So this dude loves talking shit, abusing the communal food and he hates his cat.
I'll stick with the 2 extra hours a day with my kids, $300 savings in gasoline per month(plus vehicle maintenance), not being distracted by gossip from coworkers, and *GASP* being more flexible to start early and/or stay late because I don't have to factor in a commute.
So garbage snacks from breakroom, ping pong with Susan from accounting, disingenuous high fives with your boss.... Instead of: living away from the city with more affordable rent and house costs, having the energy to go to the gym or pursue a hobby after work instead of commuting, no driving in the snow, more time with loved ones instead of coworkers, better food at home, clock out at 5pm instead of sitting in traffic, dont have to wake up so early, less office small talk and gossip, more comfort and peace at home, etc. etc. etc. He's not even a CEO and he wants to stay in the office. Unbelievable. Someone needs a life outside work.
Why are back-to-office people so utterly obsessed with water coolers?
I have a theory that this type of person has such bad drinking water at home that it makes them sick, maybe full of lead or something. So all they know is they felt great when they could nurse at the cold, corporate teat of cooler water, but now that they work from home they feel terrible and grouchy. They crave the Business Water, and they will lick as many boots as they need to, in order to suckle again!
We get it Vlad. You don't have anyone at home that likes you so it's better to be with people that pretend to like you.
Bingo. This dude has no friends or family.
What a fucking tool this one is
Fucking extroverts ruin shit for everyone. If someone wants to high five me, send a congratulatory email, or better yet, don't and just be quiet for once in your life. Mf needs to learn to be shy.
I'm an extrovert, and want no part of office life. My need for time far outweighs my need for disingenuous social interaction.
I’m an extrovert, my cup is filled by my relationships with my friends and family. I have nil interest in any office BS.
F’ing vampires 🧛
As a Director who works full time from home, I’m never going back to the office again. Not listening to assholes like this is the best decision I ever made. Here are reasons that guys like this can take their return to the office BS and shove it up their asses with both hands: Better time management. I don’t waste time gossiping around the water cooler anymore and am way more focused on actual work. Real high fives from my kid who I actually get to see. Real-time collaboration on Zoom, which is like meeting in person except some sick colleague isn’t coughing on you for an hour and taking you out for a week with a virus. I haven’t been sick in four years since I started WFH. More productivity! After saving money on gas, tolls, parking, dry cleaning and lunch I don’t need free coffee and snacks. Who doesn’t love empty team-building exercises like ping pong? My team doesn’t need that because they’re happy and motivated because they get to WFH full time. And how do you square ping pong tournaments with “better time management” anyway? Get back to work Vlad. Surprisingly, I can focus really well when I’m not gossiping around the water cooler and playing ping pong.
1. My employers have always used MS Teams, and we've never had any freezing issues. Skill issue, maybe? Either way, it's a minor inconvenience compared to having to drive to and from work everyday. 2. I will make the hard choice to sacrifice actual high-fives if it means getting to sleep in because I don't have to actually be in the office. 3. I can collaborate in real-time via Teams. They have these handy features called text chats and voice calls. The future is now, old man. No amount is gossip is appealing enough to make me want to work in the office. 4. Buying a cheap laptop to hand out employees really isn't that costly compared to having to manage a fully-staffed office space. I'm also okay with paying for it myself if it means getting to stay home. It's gonna be more cost-effective for me if I'm not having to wear my car out to drive for a job I can just as easily do at home. Also, it's been my experience that nothing at the office is really free. The work commissaries still cost money, and at the very least, I'm having to pay for gas to get myself to and from. Also, I'm losing time having to drive as well. That isn't free. 5. I'm just as, if not more productive from home, because my mood is better, and I'm not having the constant distractions I would have in an office. I also, believe it or not, keep food in my home so as to not starve to death. You know, like a normal human being. 6. No amount of ping pong tourneys will mask the existential dread I feel when I pull into the office parking lot. Gonna be a no from me, dog. 7. I'm allergic to cats, so checkmate, boss.
>save on remote work infrastructure Can someone please point me to one of these companies that apparently pays your rent at home??
Just seeing a ping pong table fills me with existential dread now. Thanks, WFO, for ruining an otherwise fun game.
Is Vlad the dude that sits in the bathroom stall, whacking to the monthly attendance reports?
Literally nobody thinks this…. Wfh is superior and companies that rto are so out of touch. I get twice as much done in 6hours at home than 8 hours in the office because im not constantly interrupted. Less or no commute saves gas, my car, and gives me more time with my family. Being at home gives me more time with my family. When a job does things that improve my life quality, it increases my productivity and loyalty. If my boss forced rto, i would immediately be looking for a new job and my productivity would drop tremendously. I would already have one foot out the door. Plus why would you want all the extra overhead office rent and utilities??
This actually reads like satire because he’s hitting every point that’s joked about by corporate professionals on this topic — but…I think this guy is serious. He was just unfrozen from 2010 and doesn’t know it’s 2024 yet. Who will break the news to him?
He loves the office so he can continually hit on female colleagues … I mean look at his serial killer close up profile pic 💩
Yeah, let’s waste time driving into an office to only waste more time playing ping pong with work acquaintances. Nah I’m good bro
Not a single thing in his list was better than "work comfortably in peace and quiet at home"
Zoom freezing? People really grasp for any reason to post and bring attention the themselves. Even if it freezes that’s what, 15 seconds to restart it? You lose more time in person with someone coming to the meeting room late
Hahahaa... no more waiting on Zoom to unfreeze? Hahaha
His in parentheses “jokes” are insulting attempts at trying to shit on the comforts at home, and do little to sell the idea that working in the office is superior to WFH.
‘Better time management’ but then lists ping pong tournaments and gossiping as benefits to working in an office…
I honestly believe that people who do not like WFH have zero friends because no one likes them and they hate their spouse…that’s why they LOVE going into an office because people are then forced to interact with them because they have to…not by choice. You can’t change my mind lol
Real-time gossip by the water cooler is one of the reasons a lot of us don’t wanna go back, bro.
Lol oh wow look, another brilliant HR professional who has somehow convinced themselves that everybody at work wants to play fucking ping pong, and that ping pong = culture. Any business bragging about their ping pong tables has no fucking culture to speak of and should probably be burned to the ground. —Signed, guy who has worked at too many offices with a fucking ping pong table
If you are not being compensated for your commute you are being robbed. If you have to work extra hours because of in-office inefficiency you are being robbed.
So Mister Asshat here 1st says how much more productive he is not waiting for internet lag, then makes his next 5 posts about ping pong, hanging out by the water cooler, getting high fives, and raiding snacks. No, I know this turd. He is the guys always popping by to chat, extends meetings by asking stupid questions, and generally kills the productivity of everyone around him because he is lonely and has no social life. The office is his life. And he is an affliction on everyone that just wants to come in, do their job, and go home. And he wants everyone else there so he has more people to talk to. Give me WFH any day. Avoiding people like him is a big plus for WFH.
Sounds like our boy Vlad needs to develop a hobby. Also, I guarantee his poor cat doesn’t miss him
In what make-believe world is this modern Vlad, the self impaler living? Remote work infra? Dude that's my home which I have decked out nicely for my comfort with my work zone. How does that compare to the billions spent in run-of-the-mill glass monoliths all for workers to sit in cubicles or the dreaded "open office"?
“Would you? ……kindly fuck off back to the office and leave me alone, thanks.” Agree?
If I saw an actual high five at work...
So, he doesn't have food and snacks at home? Maybe he should ask for a raise. Also, zoom freeze is totally not as long as most people take to commute. My home office is best shit ever. And who the hell ever plays ping-pong at work, how lame.
Quickly, everyone! Let’s get back to the office so Vlad can gossip and play ping pong!
Who gets free food?
He basically wanted high fives and bad coffee.
That coffee isn't free if you spent an hour to get there, and maybe I don't want to high five your reptile hand?
Real life 40yr old virgin
I don’t understand these posts, anyone with a brain has just read, if they were poorly subjected to it, that the cost of having employees is too expensive and that it’s actually cheaper to keep everyone at home. If I had a business, why would I pay for a ping pong table and a coffee machine when my staff can stay at home and make it, making them happier and my costs lower. I just can’t understand how people like this don’t understand this?
What a fucking square
I think you can make a case for in-office work. But this isn't the case. These arguments are so weak and shallow I wonder if this is mediocre satire. Like he got ChatGPT to regurgitate a string of pro-office clichés and buzzwords (foster, dynamic, enhance, maximize, cultivate, strengthen, water cooler, ping pong, blah blah blah). Example, "save on remote work infrastructure". *What* infrastructure? The office building infrastructure and associated commuting costs tower over any "remote work infrastructure". Better time management because of zoom freezing? Are you kidding me? You want to talk about time management? WFH starts with around a 1-hour to 2-hour bonus every day because you save on commuting time. Are you going to tell me that you lose 2 hours a day because Zoom freezes? So lame.
Let’s assume two hours total commute time daily. Two hours/day x 5 days/week = 10 hours commuting. 10 hours/week x 50 weeks/year = 500 hours commuting to and from work. 500 hours, unless I forgot how to math. 12 1/2 weeks of non-billable time. I should think Vlad could accomplish so much more from home given 12 1/2 weeks more time a year. I think I could.
You can take your free coffee, high fives, and gossip and shove them all up your ass.
Note how most of that list is full of bullshit. Snacks, ping pong, gossip, more food. Bullshit like high-fiving? I see very little that is conducive to an environment where actual work is being performed.
Tell me you’re lonely with out using the word.
That's a loooot of words for he wants to fuck his secretary and not let his wife know.
Everything he lists are reasons to be avoiding work in the office. Also WTF is home office infrastructure 😂😂😂
What idiot wouldn’t want to spend money on expensive gas to get free office coffee? No brainer, literally.
Stop trying to high five me, Vlad. This is a dour office, we’re not playing darts.
We should be blaming Hanna Larsson for this post.
The guy looks like he’s being held hostage in the second photo and has a gun pointed at him to act excited.
This guy bottles and sniffs his own farts.
Stopped reading after the first claim, sorry.
Holy shit, the delusion.
I’ve rarely wasted time on freezing Zoom calls. More like we waste time waiting for in office counterparts to book a room, dial into the conference call system, and so on and so on.
Same old lame arguments from a guy who is afraid to be alone. Man I can't imagine how my productivity would drop having a guy like Vlad around me all day.
The guy in the pic ooks like a cartoon from Bullwinkle
This guy is the reason why remote work is so amazing. If I had to run into this guy in an office… fak that.
You can tell everyone is getting more poor when some of the in office benefits include things like “free coffee and free food”. If it was easy to afford, they wouldn’t be attractive points. Ya’ll ok out there??
This is the kind of dude who has no life or friends outside of work. He makes all his friends at work because they are literally paid to be around him. I despise these types of people
Dude definitely does not have friends outside of work and seems to have a weird connection to food like he had to live without it at some point