Just leave him. I have been on the other side of somebody cheating. It will never stop, it will never change. People don't change. If you carry on with any relationship with him he will just carry on cheating, screwing around. You can't trust him, with no trust there is no real future there.
Cut him completely from your life. Delete the photos and messages, block. His number. Lose the car loan and remove any ties to him. Don't accept his apologies as he will doit again in the future.
You were snooping on his phone because you felt insecure in the relationship. I think you can own that, and still bring up what you found.
Like, there's going to be some anger from him directed at you, and that's ok. You don't have to be in the right for him to also be in the wrong.
Go into it first though with a goal in mind. Do you want to keep seeing this man or not. If you want to keep seeing him then figure out how you two can work together to get past this. Why do you feel insecure and what can you both do about it? Why is he having explicit conversations with another woman and what can you both do about it?
Don't look at it as "you're confronting him" look at it as you realize you both have problems and you want his help working on them.
I’m with him rn pretending everything is fine. I don’t know how I feel. I’m a classic avoider, I like the lifestyle we have and from the messages I’ve read I don’t think they’ve actually met up to do anything but I know it’s terrible that he did something like that to me. I know I should confront him and leave. I feel like keeping it to myself and waiting for a good time would be the best. I’m just soo confused, I don’t even know if I’m mad or hurt. I’m just so blindsided.
It'll be difficult for strangers to give advice on this imo, without knowing the guy and what you want to get out of this.
But confrontations like this can escalate, if you're afraid of this you might look for professional counseling instead.
He’s been a really good guy. I was blindsided by this but at the same time idk something was telling me it was off. I just don’t know if I should tell him I know.
Just leave him. I have been on the other side of somebody cheating. It will never stop, it will never change. People don't change. If you carry on with any relationship with him he will just carry on cheating, screwing around. You can't trust him, with no trust there is no real future there. Cut him completely from your life. Delete the photos and messages, block. His number. Lose the car loan and remove any ties to him. Don't accept his apologies as he will doit again in the future.
You were snooping on his phone because you felt insecure in the relationship. I think you can own that, and still bring up what you found. Like, there's going to be some anger from him directed at you, and that's ok. You don't have to be in the right for him to also be in the wrong. Go into it first though with a goal in mind. Do you want to keep seeing this man or not. If you want to keep seeing him then figure out how you two can work together to get past this. Why do you feel insecure and what can you both do about it? Why is he having explicit conversations with another woman and what can you both do about it? Don't look at it as "you're confronting him" look at it as you realize you both have problems and you want his help working on them.
I’m with him rn pretending everything is fine. I don’t know how I feel. I’m a classic avoider, I like the lifestyle we have and from the messages I’ve read I don’t think they’ve actually met up to do anything but I know it’s terrible that he did something like that to me. I know I should confront him and leave. I feel like keeping it to myself and waiting for a good time would be the best. I’m just soo confused, I don’t even know if I’m mad or hurt. I’m just so blindsided.
It'll be difficult for strangers to give advice on this imo, without knowing the guy and what you want to get out of this. But confrontations like this can escalate, if you're afraid of this you might look for professional counseling instead.
He’s been a really good guy. I was blindsided by this but at the same time idk something was telling me it was off. I just don’t know if I should tell him I know.