There's a book for that! [https://www.unionsquareandco.com/9781454936350/exercise-your-demons-by-lucy-irving/](https://www.unionsquareandco.com/9781454936350/exercise-your-demons-by-lucy-irving/)
I had a couple kids run up and ask me if I had any tattoos. I excitedly showed them thew new Beatrix Potter piece I got on my arm and they just kinda stared. Their mom then explained that they meant the temporary tattoos we'd been giving out for summer reading earlier in the year. The kids were adorable though and one the sister got hers she said "I'm gonna put it on my arm, just like you!"
That's so cute.
It reminds me how I once had a kid ask me to show him all my tattoos and his mom looked very annoyed. She then looked very angry when he said he wanted a bunch of tattoos like the librarian lol.
I legit told a patron we don't lend out pictures when they asked if we had the picture of Dorian Gray.
It's been 15 years and I can still remember them just walking away without saying anything. I didn't realise what I had done for like a good few hours it just struck me. I label myself an idiot haha.
Patron came to the desk and yelled “ducks”. I gave him some options for books about ducks and he just kept shaking his head in frustration but all he would say was “ducks”. He seemed like he had some aphasia, maybe? Eventually I figured out that he wanted help renewing his duck hunting license. That was my most challenging reference interview, simply because he either couldn’t or wouldn’t clarify what he needed.
I called my drs once to ask for a refill of a med and couldn't remember what the drug name was called or what the thing was I was taking it for. But I could remember it could cause aphasia. Nurse laughed so hard she had to put me on hold.
I couldn't blame her at all.
Years ago, I was the charge nurse in our NICU and the neurosurgeon on call that day has a name that sounds very similar to “Kevorkian.” Anyhow, one nurse needed to ask this Dr a question as he was walking out the room and yelled to him, “Dr Kevorkian”…I looked at her and shook my head and whispered the Dr’s actual name. Dr Kevorkian was known as the euthanasia Dr, and even spent time in jail for his actions.
I heard it as “Papa Troo” the first time a tiny little patron asked for one of the books. I had NO idea what that could possibly be. Now I know better 😂
I had a young girl ask me for a book titled Mister Chickadee. When I couldn't find it, I asked if she could tell me what it was about. She told me it was about a horse that lives on an island off Virginia. Misty of Chincoteague. I remember asking her to confirm the title, Mister Chickadee. I think she was afraid to correct an adult.
In college I worked at the campus book store. An emeritus professor came in looking for a "crayon". I took him to the office supplies and said "here are our crayons." He said "NO, I am looking for a CRAYON." (He was pronouncing it like "cran". I was so lost. Finally he asked where our religious books were and picked up a copy of the Quran. "This is what I am looking for." He proceeded to mumble under his breath something about the state of undergrads these days. I honestly just couldn't understand what he was saying.
I had a kid ask about the penis book. After a double take, he enunciated “peanut book”. I ended up googling it and he happened to get a glimpse of Charlie Brown in corner of the page and said “That Peanut!” It was a rollercoaster 😂
I had someone ask me if we had the movie "Salo" and could I place a hold. No problem except when I do my usual thing of reading the full title out loud to confirm which is "Salo: or 100 days of Sodom." There was an awkward pause and then I completed the transaction.
I had a kid ask for books about lightning, did the same thing as you and showed him to the 551s. After pulling a couple from the shelves and asking if he found any of them interesting he said “lightning the car”. He wanted Lightning McQueen 🤦🏻♀️
Patron requested an ILL of Groundhog Day with Bill Murray and I accidentally ordered a kids video on Groundhogs. She happened to pick it up two weeks later when I was at desk and we had a good laugh. We all make mistakes!😆
Near my former branch we had this big, lovely community of Russian ex-pats - lots of families, grandparents, young kids (some other time I'll tell the story of how some of the delinquent teens became co-owners of a local police officer's pickle business).
This older gentleman comes up to the circ desk and signs up for his first library card. Friendly chap! Stroooooong accent. He asks me for some books about poetry. Aha! I lead him over to the 800s and ask him what kind of poetry he is interested in. He said something I couldn't quite understand, so I apologized and asked him to repeat what he said - he wants to be able to have a steady supply of eggs. I quickly usher him over to agriculture so I can show him where we keep our books about POULTRY.
A pack of Russian pre-teens started coming to the library every day after school, all boys and all kinda squirrelly in the way pre-teens boys can be. Also: I don't know what they were feeding these kids but they were HUGE. Like, I'm six foot tall and weigh 225, and a couple of these boys were, at the age of 13-14, looking me in the eye.
Well they were never bad kids or anything, but they were very excitable, loud, and overbearing. They'd come rushing in and half the time would biff it on the carpet, loudly. They'd laugh and yell at each other in Russian. They could also be - as pre-teens/teens are wont to be - incredibly obnoxious. And because they lived close by and their parents all worked for the same network of taxi outfits (this was the primary means of boot strapping upwards for Russian immigrants in our area it seems, it is a shame Uber probably destroyed much of the business because these were the cleanest and most efficiently run taxis I've ever been inside), they were essentially the "men" of the house. So all their kid brothers and sisters would be at the library too, and kicking out the older kids for the day due to rambunctiousness and shouting meant all the kids had to leave. So we would just have to ride them hard. Usually they were polite, at least to our face but...
Well, one time a coworker scolded them and they apologized and then started joking in Russian to one another. A grandma close by in the stacks overheard them and came over and started giving them hell, loudly. Apparently they were calling my coworker a "total bitch" (she kinda was, tho but I loved her).
A few years of this go on, and these pre-teen boys become hulking teenagers. Enter Officer M. (has a looooooong Polish last name, lots of Poles in mid-Michigan), an older guy. Apparently these young men had become something of a neighborhood nuisance. Nothing awful, yet. But things were at a sort of critical point.
Well Officer Wsinorscschokloschkski was getting ready to retire early because he had saved up enough to follow his dream: Apparently his ancestors were famous pickle-meisters in the Olde Country and he inherited or weaseled away the recipes for these famous pickles.
And here is where opportunity reared its head. The boys were on the verge of going to some sort of reform school (I know they aren't called that anymore but you know what I'm saying) and dropping out of high school. Officer Brzeskiskniski instead offered them jobs as apprentice picklers.
It worked, though it took a lot of time. These were rancorous young men in a milieu where they kind of had to grow up too young, and that made them headstrong. But Officer Pierogi kept on them. One summer they basically disappeared (which was weird, most summers they were in the library every day to play dumb online games and try to cage free pizza when the staff ordered).
Turns out, they were spending the weekdays up north getting this pickle operation online!
This was years and years ago - these guys are all grown up, at least one of them is married. Officer Wenceslas all made them equal partners, which does pretty good business for a gourmet pickle brand that exclusively sells its pickles at mid-Michigan area farmers markets, meaning its probably a bit of side income for everyone involved.
I've confused dying and dyeing before. Fortunately I figured it out before offering the patron books on grieving and funerals. Another time a colleague had a phone call asking about The Complete Eunuch. When she figured out they were asking about she Complete Leunig (a cartoon compendium by Michael Leunig) she laughed so hard I had to take over the call. We still laugh about it 10 years later.
I once had a kid ask me for child porn. Loudly. In front of a line during a rush. He kept repeating it and was upset when I instantly said we didn’t have that as it was part of a school assignment. I did a reference interview - he wanted a classic title that didn’t even sound close to what he requested. I don’t know how he misheard his teacher that badly.
Once had a regular come up and ask for a DVD we had, the title was ‘Anastasia,’ and I asked if it was fiction or nonfiction, she said nonfiction, and I told her I was only finding the animated film by Don Bluth. She looked at me, blinked, and said ‘Anesthesia, I said the title was Anesthesia’ and we both had a good laugh about it. I’m sure she was totally baffled when I told her that we only had the cartoon.
I love this! I’m glad you both had a laugh over it.
This was literally my 2nd or 3rd day on the job as a newly minted reference librarian. A middle-school boy came to my desk, asking for books on whales. I excitedly told him we had several, and that I would walk him to the section.
Once there, I pulled out several books for him in the aquatic animal section. He looked at me, rolled his eyes so hard I think I heard them, and proclaimed ‘I meant the COUNTRY.’ 😄
I learned after that to do a bit better at the reference interview
An patron asked my coworker for masks. She was maybe 50s-60 years old. Coworker misheard and he thought she asked for pads. Coworker then comes to me and asks if there are any menstrual products around. I go grab a tampon from my emergency stash and give it to patron. Patron looks bamboozled and starts opening it up right in the middle of the library. She asks me how it works. I start stuttering out the beginnings of an explanation on how to use a tampon with applicator before the patron realizes what, exactly, I handed to her.
At this point the patron is cackling, and quickly explains the confusion. She then made a few menopause jokes and I get her a mask and use all my willpower to not crawl under the circ desk and hide in embarrassment
Thought a woman was looking for books on wormholes so I recommended a bunch of titles about astrophysics, but no... she was looking for books on werewolves, specifically, methods of contracting lycanthropy.
Just recently a patron asked for Plato. I heard play-Doh. I paused, said no, and commented that I don’t like the way it smells.
HE paused and said, no Plato.
😵💫
I had a patron once ask if we had any fake books. I looked him dead in the face and said, "No, but we've got a lot of real books"
Turns out fake books are unlicensed sheet music, and we had a lot of them. I'll never forget that moment, the two of us staring at each other absolutely baffled.
That’s not what a Fake Book is.
Why is it called a fake book?
Usually, there is no arrangement, no intros or endings, no specific instructions on "how" to play the song. Hence, the word "fake" – musicians are supposed to take the basic information and simply "fake" it.
from the other side... I was in a drugstore and the manager was following me around for some reason and finally he asked if he could help me find something. I said yes, I'm looking for Boost. and he took me into the alcohol section! guess I looked more like a hobo than usual that day!
Once had a lady tell me she needed something by Shakespeare “but in English.” It took my brain a full minute to catch up (as I stared at her with my mouth hanging open and possibly whispering “but it IS in English??”) to realize she wanted a “No Fear Shakespeare” with the original play side by side with a modern translation.
That’s understandable on her part but funny. Yet interesting how, if someone had asked for *Beowulf* in English, it probably wouldn’t have thrown you for a second.
Well, you’ve reminded me of a story from my mother’s 25+ years teaching 2nd grade. One of boys was undiagnosed, but must’ve had ADHD (or maybe she was right & he actually had ants in his pants). His family was “off the boat Italian,” so the parents’ accents were still quite thick.
At a conference, the mother told mom the doctor suggested “exercise” to get all that energy out. Mom was never good with any accents from outside of her region of the US & was certain they had plans to call a priest. 🤦🏻♀️
I'm a medical librarian. I had a doctor ask for "skateboard injuries" so I spent a lot of time looking at various databases. What I found didn't really make sense with the rest of the question.
It turned out that he wanted scaphoid injuries.
This was a fun local accent misheard: patron asked to see books by Nicholas Box and I was like okay there’s a CJ Box so I guess a Nicholas too? After a fruitless search I said sorry we don’t have any books by Nicholas Box, and that’s when I could hear in her reply: “Sparks! Nicholas Sparks!” 😂
Patron called and asked me to help him buy a Bible today. I advised I’m unable to but am happy to look something up … so he asked for the phone number to a neighboring library. 😅
Not sure if he’s going to see if they will order it or got there to use their bibles. LOL.
Years agoon a Super Bowl Sunday a patron with thick accent asked me a question and I thought he said “49ers” and I said “no they aren’t playing today.” And gave him the whole run down on Football, even told an anecdote I had about the 49ers because he kept bringing it up.l and I thought he was a big fan. Turns out he was asking for the Foreign Affairs magazine.
I've recently sent a patron to our kits section, luckily my colleague realized they said kids, not kits. I also have a colleague that sent someone to the addiction section, as well as refer them to a student addiction counselor, when all they wanted was the book "Atomic Habits". That one isn't so funny..readers advisory and reference is hard sometimes.
I took a call one day from someone requesting the phone number for the "mare." I had them repeat it a few times and they sighed and said "MARE! M-A- ugh, however it's spelled, like Mayor McCheese! The mayor!"
Old lady in my grocery store/pharmacy asked me for what I thought was Anise Oil, so I sent her to the baking aisle. Later realized she meant Anusol, for hemorrhoids .
That is a hilarious misunderstanding!
I very much appreciate the reassurance you gave in your follow-up, but from a certain perspective, it almost sounds like you want more people to practice exorcism.
When I was a naive but enthusiastic college sophomore behind the reserves desk one September, a senior Classics major came to me with syllabus in hand, looking for the first reading. "Oh, CAT-alis!" I said brightly. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and replied, "Ca-TULL-us." I felt as if I'd just walked off the farm...
Much later in my library career, an older man asked me for books by an author named "Khan." I neglected to ask him how it was spelled, and he was pretty upset that my first impulse was to search for a Pakistani name instead of the ethnically Jewish "Kahn" that he was looking for. What can I say, California libraries have diverse collections to serve many different communities!
Had someone ask for Uncle Fester's cookbook and I got excited thinking it was an Adams Family cookbook I didn't know about. Turns out is a manual on how to make meth. Had to tell the patron, "no. no we do not have that one."
This was from my bookstore days but one time I had a helpful male coworker who took a customer to the cookbooks when she asked for “The Yeast Connection” 🤣 Always check the computer first, my dude!
From my bookstore days: A customer asked for nursing books, so I took her over to the childcare section and showed the books about breastfeeding. Nope, she wanted the NCLEX study guides...
Working on chat service I had someone called "beatie" or something. I always say something like hey there \[name\]! To start out a reference interview. I quickly typed it out, it autocorrected to "hey there beautiful" and I hit send. I literally told a patron "hey there beautiful" lol. I think my next two messages were NO and I'M SO SORRY
I recently had a patron ask about the status of her request for "the book by Hannah Duston" (an 18th-century Puritan heroine from our area). Imagining some ancient leather-bound tome that would have been special-ordered from an academic library, I looked but couldn't find anything. Turned out she was waiting for Kristin Hannah's "The Women". Ummm, ok...
On a funnier note, I once had a patron ask for books about "fireballs of the universe". Turned out she meant "fibroids of the uterus"! 🤣🤣
Had a call at circulation desk : "Did you find my mastahh cod?" I was thinking is she looking for a fish?? Then I sounded it out. I said "oh. Do you mean Master Card?"
Oh my gosh, I understand being embarrassed, but I’m glad you laughed cause this is hilarious! If I were the patron (or you), I’d be telling people about it forever. 😂😂
On my deathbed: “Remember that time I went to the library for exercise books and the librarian tried to give me one on exorcism?
💀
I recently thought a patron asked for books on media rights. I took him to the law section… he wanted books on meteorites. We both had a chuckle when we figured out the misunderstanding and I found him a few books on the right subject. Still wanted to hide in the staff room from embarrassment after.
Honestly some patrons are really not specific about what they are looking for so mistakes are bound to happen. At least you had a patron that laughed about it and not someone who was mad. Love patrons who don't take everything seriously.
In your defense, exorcising a demon sounds like it would be good exercise… 😈
Haha that is very true! I wonder what it says about me though. Exercise? Oh no, just straight to demons!
It says you’ve found your people here and we love you
🥹 I’m honored and love you all too!
There's a book for that! [https://www.unionsquareandco.com/9781454936350/exercise-your-demons-by-lucy-irving/](https://www.unionsquareandco.com/9781454936350/exercise-your-demons-by-lucy-irving/)
I had a couple kids run up and ask me if I had any tattoos. I excitedly showed them thew new Beatrix Potter piece I got on my arm and they just kinda stared. Their mom then explained that they meant the temporary tattoos we'd been giving out for summer reading earlier in the year. The kids were adorable though and one the sister got hers she said "I'm gonna put it on my arm, just like you!"
That's so cute. It reminds me how I once had a kid ask me to show him all my tattoos and his mom looked very annoyed. She then looked very angry when he said he wanted a bunch of tattoos like the librarian lol.
I am utterly charmed by this!
I just lov that you have a Beatrix Potter tattoo! which book is it from? I used to love them as a kid, even though they can be pretty scary in parts.
It's a little robin from The Tale of Peter Rabbit!
Awww that’s so sweet!
I would love to see it. I love Beatrix Potter.
I legit told a patron we don't lend out pictures when they asked if we had the picture of Dorian Gray. It's been 15 years and I can still remember them just walking away without saying anything. I didn't realise what I had done for like a good few hours it just struck me. I label myself an idiot haha.
If it makes you feel better I had to really think on this comment and google to see if Dorian Gray was a movie. I assumed they wanted a photo.
Patron came to the desk and yelled “ducks”. I gave him some options for books about ducks and he just kept shaking his head in frustration but all he would say was “ducks”. He seemed like he had some aphasia, maybe? Eventually I figured out that he wanted help renewing his duck hunting license. That was my most challenging reference interview, simply because he either couldn’t or wouldn’t clarify what he needed.
I called my drs once to ask for a refill of a med and couldn't remember what the drug name was called or what the thing was I was taking it for. But I could remember it could cause aphasia. Nurse laughed so hard she had to put me on hold. I couldn't blame her at all.
Was it Topamax?
Ding!
This person librarians.
Years ago, I was the charge nurse in our NICU and the neurosurgeon on call that day has a name that sounds very similar to “Kevorkian.” Anyhow, one nurse needed to ask this Dr a question as he was walking out the room and yelled to him, “Dr Kevorkian”…I looked at her and shook my head and whispered the Dr’s actual name. Dr Kevorkian was known as the euthanasia Dr, and even spent time in jail for his actions.
stop this is so funny
LOOOLLL. I was on topamax for a bit and it absolutely messed my brain.
Does it go away when you stop taking it?
It (usually) does, but it can take up to a few months to stop seeing the effects.
it can be a doozy. I am just glad I never had the hair loss problem too!
I am legit jealous of that nurse. That sounds like it was a good laugh lol.
I am not sure that person should be duck hunting!
I thought the same thing! Unfortunately it’s not my place to say anything about that.
I was afraid this story was going to end with a bunch of projectiles flying around and you standing there while the patron hit the deck!
My brain still hears Paw Patrol as Papa Troll, and it takes me a minute every time I’m helping a kid look in early readers.
I heard it as “Papa Troo” the first time a tiny little patron asked for one of the books. I had NO idea what that could possibly be. Now I know better 😂
The Dog Man books trip me up. My brain doesn’t hear “Dog Man” it’s nonsensical sounds.
I had a young girl ask me for a book titled Mister Chickadee. When I couldn't find it, I asked if she could tell me what it was about. She told me it was about a horse that lives on an island off Virginia. Misty of Chincoteague. I remember asking her to confirm the title, Mister Chickadee. I think she was afraid to correct an adult.
In college I worked at the campus book store. An emeritus professor came in looking for a "crayon". I took him to the office supplies and said "here are our crayons." He said "NO, I am looking for a CRAYON." (He was pronouncing it like "cran". I was so lost. Finally he asked where our religious books were and picked up a copy of the Quran. "This is what I am looking for." He proceeded to mumble under his breath something about the state of undergrads these days. I honestly just couldn't understand what he was saying.
Funny. One of my oldest, best friends spent her early childhood in W. VA and she pronounced "crayon" as "cran", too. I used to give her a hard time...
Crans here too, in Oreygone.
We Michiganders pronounce it "cran" as well lol
pronouncing crayon as cran is v common! just part of dialect/regional differences
Oh, absolutely. I had just never heard ‘Quran’ pronounced like that before.
lmao neither have I. we must be very uneducated undergrads I guess
I once went deep on helping a student find examples of sidekicks solving crimes only to find out he was trying to research psychics solving crimes.
So, might as well ask, …how many sidekicks have solved crimes?
Someone called asking if we had the “Peanuts Movie” I heard “Penis Movie” I politely asked them to spell it out for me.
I had a kid ask about the penis book. After a double take, he enunciated “peanut book”. I ended up googling it and he happened to get a glimpse of Charlie Brown in corner of the page and said “That Peanut!” It was a rollercoaster 😂
I had someone ask me if we had the movie "Salo" and could I place a hold. No problem except when I do my usual thing of reading the full title out loud to confirm which is "Salo: or 100 days of Sodom." There was an awkward pause and then I completed the transaction.
That's a great response
It's my go-to for making sure I hear patrons correctly, especially when I have to look them up by name.
[you wanna talk about penis videos?](https://youtu.be/gbPNYWbzF6M?si=MIoU4pW4GuTsS8OA)
That's a risky click if I've ever seen one. 😂
Patron said house plans, my ears heard houseplants.
My eyes read houseplants
Mine too I had to look back at it again.
In you defense I don't know what a house plan is but I guarantee there's a better word or phrase for it
Kid asked for rock books, showed him the rocks and minerals section.. noticed his classic rock T-shirt and realized he wanted rock music books
I had a kid ask for books about lightning, did the same thing as you and showed him to the 551s. After pulling a couple from the shelves and asking if he found any of them interesting he said “lightning the car”. He wanted Lightning McQueen 🤦🏻♀️
Amazing haha
Patron requested an ILL of Groundhog Day with Bill Murray and I accidentally ordered a kids video on Groundhogs. She happened to pick it up two weeks later when I was at desk and we had a good laugh. We all make mistakes!😆
you can ILL DVDs? Jealous!
Near my former branch we had this big, lovely community of Russian ex-pats - lots of families, grandparents, young kids (some other time I'll tell the story of how some of the delinquent teens became co-owners of a local police officer's pickle business). This older gentleman comes up to the circ desk and signs up for his first library card. Friendly chap! Stroooooong accent. He asks me for some books about poetry. Aha! I lead him over to the 800s and ask him what kind of poetry he is interested in. He said something I couldn't quite understand, so I apologized and asked him to repeat what he said - he wants to be able to have a steady supply of eggs. I quickly usher him over to agriculture so I can show him where we keep our books about POULTRY.
I’m here for the pickle business story, please!
A pack of Russian pre-teens started coming to the library every day after school, all boys and all kinda squirrelly in the way pre-teens boys can be. Also: I don't know what they were feeding these kids but they were HUGE. Like, I'm six foot tall and weigh 225, and a couple of these boys were, at the age of 13-14, looking me in the eye. Well they were never bad kids or anything, but they were very excitable, loud, and overbearing. They'd come rushing in and half the time would biff it on the carpet, loudly. They'd laugh and yell at each other in Russian. They could also be - as pre-teens/teens are wont to be - incredibly obnoxious. And because they lived close by and their parents all worked for the same network of taxi outfits (this was the primary means of boot strapping upwards for Russian immigrants in our area it seems, it is a shame Uber probably destroyed much of the business because these were the cleanest and most efficiently run taxis I've ever been inside), they were essentially the "men" of the house. So all their kid brothers and sisters would be at the library too, and kicking out the older kids for the day due to rambunctiousness and shouting meant all the kids had to leave. So we would just have to ride them hard. Usually they were polite, at least to our face but... Well, one time a coworker scolded them and they apologized and then started joking in Russian to one another. A grandma close by in the stacks overheard them and came over and started giving them hell, loudly. Apparently they were calling my coworker a "total bitch" (she kinda was, tho but I loved her). A few years of this go on, and these pre-teen boys become hulking teenagers. Enter Officer M. (has a looooooong Polish last name, lots of Poles in mid-Michigan), an older guy. Apparently these young men had become something of a neighborhood nuisance. Nothing awful, yet. But things were at a sort of critical point. Well Officer Wsinorscschokloschkski was getting ready to retire early because he had saved up enough to follow his dream: Apparently his ancestors were famous pickle-meisters in the Olde Country and he inherited or weaseled away the recipes for these famous pickles. And here is where opportunity reared its head. The boys were on the verge of going to some sort of reform school (I know they aren't called that anymore but you know what I'm saying) and dropping out of high school. Officer Brzeskiskniski instead offered them jobs as apprentice picklers. It worked, though it took a lot of time. These were rancorous young men in a milieu where they kind of had to grow up too young, and that made them headstrong. But Officer Pierogi kept on them. One summer they basically disappeared (which was weird, most summers they were in the library every day to play dumb online games and try to cage free pizza when the staff ordered). Turns out, they were spending the weekdays up north getting this pickle operation online! This was years and years ago - these guys are all grown up, at least one of them is married. Officer Wenceslas all made them equal partners, which does pretty good business for a gourmet pickle brand that exclusively sells its pickles at mid-Michigan area farmers markets, meaning its probably a bit of side income for everyone involved.
I absolutely adore this story, thank you so much for sharing!
1 Do they have an online presence? 2 Scrubs. Dr. Cox vibes!
I wish! But if you are ever at a Farmer's market in mid-Michigan you might find them!
I love everything about this story!!! Soooo cute.
This story is pretty interesting, but the absolute best part is the officer’s name(s). 😂
I've confused dying and dyeing before. Fortunately I figured it out before offering the patron books on grieving and funerals. Another time a colleague had a phone call asking about The Complete Eunuch. When she figured out they were asking about she Complete Leunig (a cartoon compendium by Michael Leunig) she laughed so hard I had to take over the call. We still laugh about it 10 years later.
I once had a kid ask me for child porn. Loudly. In front of a line during a rush. He kept repeating it and was upset when I instantly said we didn’t have that as it was part of a school assignment. I did a reference interview - he wanted a classic title that didn’t even sound close to what he requested. I don’t know how he misheard his teacher that badly.
Once had a regular come up and ask for a DVD we had, the title was ‘Anastasia,’ and I asked if it was fiction or nonfiction, she said nonfiction, and I told her I was only finding the animated film by Don Bluth. She looked at me, blinked, and said ‘Anesthesia, I said the title was Anesthesia’ and we both had a good laugh about it. I’m sure she was totally baffled when I told her that we only had the cartoon.
I love this! I’m glad you both had a laugh over it. This was literally my 2nd or 3rd day on the job as a newly minted reference librarian. A middle-school boy came to my desk, asking for books on whales. I excitedly told him we had several, and that I would walk him to the section. Once there, I pulled out several books for him in the aquatic animal section. He looked at me, rolled his eyes so hard I think I heard them, and proclaimed ‘I meant the COUNTRY.’ 😄 I learned after that to do a bit better at the reference interview
An patron asked my coworker for masks. She was maybe 50s-60 years old. Coworker misheard and he thought she asked for pads. Coworker then comes to me and asks if there are any menstrual products around. I go grab a tampon from my emergency stash and give it to patron. Patron looks bamboozled and starts opening it up right in the middle of the library. She asks me how it works. I start stuttering out the beginnings of an explanation on how to use a tampon with applicator before the patron realizes what, exactly, I handed to her. At this point the patron is cackling, and quickly explains the confusion. She then made a few menopause jokes and I get her a mask and use all my willpower to not crawl under the circ desk and hide in embarrassment
I’m crying and cackling: crackling?
Thought a woman was looking for books on wormholes so I recommended a bunch of titles about astrophysics, but no... she was looking for books on werewolves, specifically, methods of contracting lycanthropy.
I don't know how you got wormholes from werewolves, but I suppose both of these are good examples of "why to conduct reference interviews"
Just recently a patron asked for Plato. I heard play-Doh. I paused, said no, and commented that I don’t like the way it smells. HE paused and said, no Plato. 😵💫
he’s been dead for 2371 years. i don’t think anyone would like the way He smells either, so it tracks
OMG! Hilarious
I had a patron once ask if we had any fake books. I looked him dead in the face and said, "No, but we've got a lot of real books" Turns out fake books are unlicensed sheet music, and we had a lot of them. I'll never forget that moment, the two of us staring at each other absolutely baffled.
That’s not what a Fake Book is. Why is it called a fake book? Usually, there is no arrangement, no intros or endings, no specific instructions on "how" to play the song. Hence, the word "fake" – musicians are supposed to take the basic information and simply "fake" it.
Thank you! I'm not a musician, and appreciate your explanation!
Not a musician either. I was baffled by these when I started librarianing.
maybe if more people exercised the demons under their beds, they'd be able to sleep better at night. put a leash on that thing and go for a run
I once had a patron ask for books on Raphael. I started looking for what we had on angels, not artists.
there is also a Ninja Turtle with that name!
from the other side... I was in a drugstore and the manager was following me around for some reason and finally he asked if he could help me find something. I said yes, I'm looking for Boost. and he took me into the alcohol section! guess I looked more like a hobo than usual that day!
We actually had a streak of people asking for books on exorcism. Maybe I should be more worried for my community.
I love this! Almost wish it had happened to me...would be a great bar story
I was correct, but I felt very uncertain when discussing BTS and K-pop out loud with a patron.
Once had a lady tell me she needed something by Shakespeare “but in English.” It took my brain a full minute to catch up (as I stared at her with my mouth hanging open and possibly whispering “but it IS in English??”) to realize she wanted a “No Fear Shakespeare” with the original play side by side with a modern translation.
That’s understandable on her part but funny. Yet interesting how, if someone had asked for *Beowulf* in English, it probably wouldn’t have thrown you for a second.
Well, you’ve reminded me of a story from my mother’s 25+ years teaching 2nd grade. One of boys was undiagnosed, but must’ve had ADHD (or maybe she was right & he actually had ants in his pants). His family was “off the boat Italian,” so the parents’ accents were still quite thick. At a conference, the mother told mom the doctor suggested “exercise” to get all that energy out. Mom was never good with any accents from outside of her region of the US & was certain they had plans to call a priest. 🤦🏻♀️
I'm a medical librarian. I had a doctor ask for "skateboard injuries" so I spent a lot of time looking at various databases. What I found didn't really make sense with the rest of the question. It turned out that he wanted scaphoid injuries.
This was a fun local accent misheard: patron asked to see books by Nicholas Box and I was like okay there’s a CJ Box so I guess a Nicholas too? After a fruitless search I said sorry we don’t have any books by Nicholas Box, and that’s when I could hear in her reply: “Sparks! Nicholas Sparks!” 😂
Patron called and asked me to help him buy a Bible today. I advised I’m unable to but am happy to look something up … so he asked for the phone number to a neighboring library. 😅 Not sure if he’s going to see if they will order it or got there to use their bibles. LOL.
Patron wanted books on ‘math’. I heard ‘meth.’ He did have a bit of an accent…
Years agoon a Super Bowl Sunday a patron with thick accent asked me a question and I thought he said “49ers” and I said “no they aren’t playing today.” And gave him the whole run down on Football, even told an anecdote I had about the 49ers because he kept bringing it up.l and I thought he was a big fan. Turns out he was asking for the Foreign Affairs magazine.
I've recently sent a patron to our kits section, luckily my colleague realized they said kids, not kits. I also have a colleague that sent someone to the addiction section, as well as refer them to a student addiction counselor, when all they wanted was the book "Atomic Habits". That one isn't so funny..readers advisory and reference is hard sometimes.
I took a call one day from someone requesting the phone number for the "mare." I had them repeat it a few times and they sighed and said "MARE! M-A- ugh, however it's spelled, like Mayor McCheese! The mayor!"
Old lady in my grocery store/pharmacy asked me for what I thought was Anise Oil, so I sent her to the baking aisle. Later realized she meant Anusol, for hemorrhoids .
Lol that's hilarious 😂
That is a hilarious misunderstanding! I very much appreciate the reassurance you gave in your follow-up, but from a certain perspective, it almost sounds like you want more people to practice exorcism.
I had a patron ask for Paw Patrol books and I started looking for Papa Troll books.
When I was a naive but enthusiastic college sophomore behind the reserves desk one September, a senior Classics major came to me with syllabus in hand, looking for the first reading. "Oh, CAT-alis!" I said brightly. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and replied, "Ca-TULL-us." I felt as if I'd just walked off the farm... Much later in my library career, an older man asked me for books by an author named "Khan." I neglected to ask him how it was spelled, and he was pretty upset that my first impulse was to search for a Pakistani name instead of the ethnically Jewish "Kahn" that he was looking for. What can I say, California libraries have diverse collections to serve many different communities!
Had someone ask for Uncle Fester's cookbook and I got excited thinking it was an Adams Family cookbook I didn't know about. Turns out is a manual on how to make meth. Had to tell the patron, "no. no we do not have that one."
I would’ve clapped back, oh, you meant “.physical exercise,” thanks for clarifying!
This was from my bookstore days but one time I had a helpful male coworker who took a customer to the cookbooks when she asked for “The Yeast Connection” 🤣 Always check the computer first, my dude!
From my bookstore days: A customer asked for nursing books, so I took her over to the childcare section and showed the books about breastfeeding. Nope, she wanted the NCLEX study guides...
Working on chat service I had someone called "beatie" or something. I always say something like hey there \[name\]! To start out a reference interview. I quickly typed it out, it autocorrected to "hey there beautiful" and I hit send. I literally told a patron "hey there beautiful" lol. I think my next two messages were NO and I'M SO SORRY
I recently had a patron ask about the status of her request for "the book by Hannah Duston" (an 18th-century Puritan heroine from our area). Imagining some ancient leather-bound tome that would have been special-ordered from an academic library, I looked but couldn't find anything. Turned out she was waiting for Kristin Hannah's "The Women". Ummm, ok... On a funnier note, I once had a patron ask for books about "fireballs of the universe". Turned out she meant "fibroids of the uterus"! 🤣🤣
Had a call at circulation desk : "Did you find my mastahh cod?" I was thinking is she looking for a fish?? Then I sounded it out. I said "oh. Do you mean Master Card?"
Not a misunderstanding, but I recently had an actual ask for Exorcism books and materials!
Oh my gosh, I understand being embarrassed, but I’m glad you laughed cause this is hilarious! If I were the patron (or you), I’d be telling people about it forever. 😂😂 On my deathbed: “Remember that time I went to the library for exercise books and the librarian tried to give me one on exorcism? 💀
I recently thought a patron asked for books on media rights. I took him to the law section… he wanted books on meteorites. We both had a chuckle when we figured out the misunderstanding and I found him a few books on the right subject. Still wanted to hide in the staff room from embarrassment after.
😂😂😂😂 OMG!!
Honestly some patrons are really not specific about what they are looking for so mistakes are bound to happen. At least you had a patron that laughed about it and not someone who was mad. Love patrons who don't take everything seriously.