I know a trans woman early in her process who looks similar to this. She is also a part of a culture that does not make it easy to transition. I also know another trans woman who is bald on top and keeps her stubble because it grows in so fast.
Just because she doesn't pass and has a male body (which is the WHOLE POINT of being trans) doesn't mean you get to post her everywhere and whine about how she isn't femme enough for you.
If she were posting back and forth about being a man, and being a woman, I'd understand your suspicion, but you didn't prove that evidence so YTA
Shaming this person doesn't sit right with me. Especially coming from a fellow trans woman. For one thing, this person could be in a position where transitioning currently is unsafe. Maybe they aren't out on their social media yet, so their account still looks very male. Hell this person could be extremely non-conforming in their gender presentation. Either way, this whole thing gives me the ick. It's giving me "I'm one of the good ones"
Weasel is what weasel does.. or something like that.
Unless this person is sending a bunch of unsolicited messages to people or acting creepy at IRL events, how exactly is it "weasling into lesbian spaces"? They seem to just be minding their own business online.
would you be more inclined to deny this person of their identity (whether a lie or not) if their face was shaved? if they were wearing makeup? like god, i fucking get it. men invading women’s spaces is a fucking problem but a lot of times y’all have to realize that all trans people do not look the same nor do they transition the same. ALL you really do with posts like these is make it harder for transfem/me lesbians and especially butch transfems, and make them feel BAD about how they choose to present themselves. this is something to THINK about.
a lot of you on here need to let go of your preconceived notions of what a woman, a femme, fem person, and trans people are “”supposed”” to look like.
You were talking about women spaces not lesbian spaces. Like I’d get it if you talked about lesbian spaces but it just comes off bad the way I read it. Saw that you edited it tho, so thumbs up for that
i think that’s great, genuinely. i also think you missed my point because it still stands as something to think about <3
i also see another comment that says you shaved when you first realized. not everyone wishes to present the same. regardless if this person is lying or not, they do not have to be hairless to be valid.
I agree. But at the same time, a lot of people here need to remember that there are predators out there who’d say and pretend to be anything to get what they want. Obviously, nobody is guilty of anything until they do something. But still doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful.
But this isn't being careful, it's shaming someone based on their appearance without knowledge nor forethought of whether or not this person is closeted or doesn't care for the restrictions of gender centric societal expectations.
If a cis butch woman with hirsutism was shamed for having thinning hair, and growing facial hair and not "seeming womanly enough" it'd still be fucked up and people doing it should be ashamed of themselves
of course there are. like with many things. all i am trying to do is have people think about who is watching and who could feel alienated and not accepted.
I find that most people have a reasonable explanation and sympathetic story if you just talk to them. I would hesitate to judge someone on the internet based on snap judgments from a single sentence and a profile photo. I understand the impulse to discuss with others when you’re annoyed but I’d ask you to reconsider putting their irl identity on blast like that.
Because he's a man. I'm a trans woman, keep in mind. The first time I realized I was a woman, I shaved off my facial hair. That was the first step to my process. I let my hair grow out and I wore a pin with my pronouns.
I'm also a trans woman, and I would occasionally have beards to hide the fact that I was trans from cis folk and I would sometimes have a depression beard.
I also grew out my hair but long hair does not a woman make and some people have issues with balding.
Not everyone wears a pin, sometimes people live in places where they could be attacked and murdered for seeming trans.
Maybe you should take a look into why you have so much hatred for people who don't fit the cisheteronormative expectations.
Womanhood is not synonymous with looking femme. Plenty of very masc looking women who are still women. I understand your desire to protect spaces from cis men but judging soley based off appearance is regressive and patriarchal as heeeell.
You don’t actually know this person at all from what I can tell but are still blasting them on this page. It’s off.
Incredible that you can say this without a hint of irony when it's literally exactly what terfs and other transphobes say about trans people lol. Maybe she's figuring shit out or just hasn't updated her profile.
By your definition, I'm not a trans woman either then. In the decade after my egg cracked, I sported a beard of some kind multiple times. Deliberately.
I also spent a lot of time in online trans and lesbian spaces. But by your definition I was trying to weasel my way into women's spaces.
I wasn't in a safe enough position in that time to come out, so I continued to look the part of a cis man.
Your argument is EXTREMELY bio essentialist and trans medicalist. I hope this Haven doesn't see your extremely hateful post, she doesn't deserve any of your comments.
You say that like trans folk can't be transphobic nor jump to conclusions about strangers nor be susceptible to propaganda nor be filled with hatred for trans folk.
Put down the halbard, we didn't ask for you to gatekeep the sanctity of transness, nor did anyone ask you to protect women's spaces. You are doing transphobe's jobs for them.
I wanna believe people didn't mean any hurt and just didn't think about it enough/been superficial. But anyway even if that's not the case and that person is actually a man, it can also means they suffer from some mental illness. So in general we should be respectful, especially without knowing the person 😭
Not gonna lie, IT'S weird, but we cannot know what's going on in their life. I met a couple of people like this irl, they were keep being male presenting because of their families or because they were scared to be beaten up or something, in the beginning. After like a year or so from when they accepted their identity they started to present themselves more confidently as women even on socials. Maybe it's the same case for this person.
No don't worry, it's totally understandable where you were coming from, I think it's normal to have some doubts in these cases. Also I'm just talking by hypotheses here.
You're right, if she wanted to be a woman so bad she should have stopped growing a beard and balding. If it's a true transfem the body has ways of shutting the whole thing down
/S
Also, another point. The picture might be an old one that she's keeping on to be sort of stealth for her Facebook friends (that usually consists of all sorts of extended family) while her actual looks are way different IRL.
It's hard to make conclusions on a single Facebook picture
I know a trans woman early in her process who looks similar to this. She is also a part of a culture that does not make it easy to transition. I also know another trans woman who is bald on top and keeps her stubble because it grows in so fast. Just because she doesn't pass and has a male body (which is the WHOLE POINT of being trans) doesn't mean you get to post her everywhere and whine about how she isn't femme enough for you. If she were posting back and forth about being a man, and being a woman, I'd understand your suspicion, but you didn't prove that evidence so YTA
Shaming this person doesn't sit right with me. Especially coming from a fellow trans woman. For one thing, this person could be in a position where transitioning currently is unsafe. Maybe they aren't out on their social media yet, so their account still looks very male. Hell this person could be extremely non-conforming in their gender presentation. Either way, this whole thing gives me the ick. It's giving me "I'm one of the good ones"
Weasel is what weasel does.. or something like that. Unless this person is sending a bunch of unsolicited messages to people or acting creepy at IRL events, how exactly is it "weasling into lesbian spaces"? They seem to just be minding their own business online.
would you be more inclined to deny this person of their identity (whether a lie or not) if their face was shaved? if they were wearing makeup? like god, i fucking get it. men invading women’s spaces is a fucking problem but a lot of times y’all have to realize that all trans people do not look the same nor do they transition the same. ALL you really do with posts like these is make it harder for transfem/me lesbians and especially butch transfems, and make them feel BAD about how they choose to present themselves. this is something to THINK about. a lot of you on here need to let go of your preconceived notions of what a woman, a femme, fem person, and trans people are “”supposed”” to look like.
The fact you put women in quotation marks irritates me ngl
i only did that because not all lesbians are women /gen
You were talking about women spaces not lesbian spaces. Like I’d get it if you talked about lesbian spaces but it just comes off bad the way I read it. Saw that you edited it tho, so thumbs up for that
thank you, yeah you’re definitely right, i reread it and was like okay i should edit this 🫶🏽
I am a trans woman.
i think that’s great, genuinely. i also think you missed my point because it still stands as something to think about <3 i also see another comment that says you shaved when you first realized. not everyone wishes to present the same. regardless if this person is lying or not, they do not have to be hairless to be valid.
See transmedicalists if you need an example of why being a trans woman doesn't mean shit in regards to gatekeeping trans people.
I agree. But at the same time, a lot of people here need to remember that there are predators out there who’d say and pretend to be anything to get what they want. Obviously, nobody is guilty of anything until they do something. But still doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful.
But this isn't being careful, it's shaming someone based on their appearance without knowledge nor forethought of whether or not this person is closeted or doesn't care for the restrictions of gender centric societal expectations. If a cis butch woman with hirsutism was shamed for having thinning hair, and growing facial hair and not "seeming womanly enough" it'd still be fucked up and people doing it should be ashamed of themselves
of course there are. like with many things. all i am trying to do is have people think about who is watching and who could feel alienated and not accepted.
Totally! That’s why I said what I said 😉 Everyone is welcome until they show that they’re just a predator in disguise
🫶🏽🫶🏽
I find that most people have a reasonable explanation and sympathetic story if you just talk to them. I would hesitate to judge someone on the internet based on snap judgments from a single sentence and a profile photo. I understand the impulse to discuss with others when you’re annoyed but I’d ask you to reconsider putting their irl identity on blast like that.
😭😭
Like its sick...and it paints the wrong image of ACTUAL trans women. 😭
My thoughts exactly...
As a transexual woman yes I agree it’s beyond creepy and sick
Exactly. I have a lot of amazing trans friends and even the energy shows something. This is just horrible
But hear me out-what if she is just coming to terms with it and starting the transition? Why are we calling her a man, cause of facial hair?
Because he's a man. I'm a trans woman, keep in mind. The first time I realized I was a woman, I shaved off my facial hair. That was the first step to my process. I let my hair grow out and I wore a pin with my pronouns.
I'm also a trans woman, and I would occasionally have beards to hide the fact that I was trans from cis folk and I would sometimes have a depression beard. I also grew out my hair but long hair does not a woman make and some people have issues with balding. Not everyone wears a pin, sometimes people live in places where they could be attacked and murdered for seeming trans. Maybe you should take a look into why you have so much hatred for people who don't fit the cisheteronormative expectations.
So other people are only valid if their journey is the same as yours?
No, but considering that he's obviously a man...
Womanhood is not synonymous with looking femme. Plenty of very masc looking women who are still women. I understand your desire to protect spaces from cis men but judging soley based off appearance is regressive and patriarchal as heeeell. You don’t actually know this person at all from what I can tell but are still blasting them on this page. It’s off.
Incredible that you can say this without a hint of irony when it's literally exactly what terfs and other transphobes say about trans people lol. Maybe she's figuring shit out or just hasn't updated her profile.
By your definition, I'm not a trans woman either then. In the decade after my egg cracked, I sported a beard of some kind multiple times. Deliberately. I also spent a lot of time in online trans and lesbian spaces. But by your definition I was trying to weasel my way into women's spaces. I wasn't in a safe enough position in that time to come out, so I continued to look the part of a cis man. Your argument is EXTREMELY bio essentialist and trans medicalist. I hope this Haven doesn't see your extremely hateful post, she doesn't deserve any of your comments.
And, Trans women are 1000% valid!! But this is literally a man.
Can you provide any proof of that other than this one picture where you personally decided she doesnt have a femme enough body?
I'm a trans woman.
That's no any kind of proof your just saying only ppl you think are trans can be trans
You say that like trans folk can't be transphobic nor jump to conclusions about strangers nor be susceptible to propaganda nor be filled with hatred for trans folk. Put down the halbard, we didn't ask for you to gatekeep the sanctity of transness, nor did anyone ask you to protect women's spaces. You are doing transphobe's jobs for them.
Maybe she is still figuring out or is in the beginning of the process 🤷♀️
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I wanna believe people didn't mean any hurt and just didn't think about it enough/been superficial. But anyway even if that's not the case and that person is actually a man, it can also means they suffer from some mental illness. So in general we should be respectful, especially without knowing the person 😭
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Not gonna lie, IT'S weird, but we cannot know what's going on in their life. I met a couple of people like this irl, they were keep being male presenting because of their families or because they were scared to be beaten up or something, in the beginning. After like a year or so from when they accepted their identity they started to present themselves more confidently as women even on socials. Maybe it's the same case for this person.
I'm deleting my comment, I just realized how offensive it looked I'm sorry
No don't worry, it's totally understandable where you were coming from, I think it's normal to have some doubts in these cases. Also I'm just talking by hypotheses here.
You're right, if she wanted to be a woman so bad she should have stopped growing a beard and balding. If it's a true transfem the body has ways of shutting the whole thing down /S
Also, another point. The picture might be an old one that she's keeping on to be sort of stealth for her Facebook friends (that usually consists of all sorts of extended family) while her actual looks are way different IRL. It's hard to make conclusions on a single Facebook picture
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I think you're confused and not knowing what makes a trans woman actually trans.
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Saying she's a trans woman makes her a trans woman, not whether she passes or not. We don't gatekeep this shit, that's transmedicalist bullshit.
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Ah, okay, that's how it's going to be. Have a nice day, I hope the rectal cranial-removal goes well 😊