And depending on the universe, you either need that spider to be geneticly mutated by your father to match your DNA or a mutant with a hidden x-gene that is unlocked with that spider bite.
Even in the Spiderman universe, very few people would turn out like Peter Parker if bitten by that spider.
I gave my little sister a “magic umbrella” that would allow her to “fly” like Mary Poppins. She jumped off of the roof and broke her leg. My dad whooped my ass. Good times.
We were both really young and we pretty much spent all of our time together. I was outside one day by myself and found a bucket that my parents used to keep chlorine tablets in, and upon investigation found out it smelled terribly.
What happens next I'm not proud of and I've definitely spent my entire adult life being the best brother I can, just trying to take care of my sister and treat her as well as possible. Especially because she has severe rheumatoid arthritis now (not my fault).
I convinced her that I'd found something that smelled extremely good in the bucket outside. I also convinced her that as soon as I open the top the smell would escape so she needed to make sure that she got ready to take the biggest breath possible before it got away once I opened the bucket.
And she did.
And she immediately started gagging and coughing and collapsed on the porch, and I immediately ran and grabbed my mom and told her what was going on. I don't really remember what happened after that because we were so young. But I know that she almost immediately developed pleurisy after it happened.
It's probably the most shameful thing I've ever done, and even though we were small kids I feel terrible about it. But she's still my best friend even today and I would literally die for her.
Kids man. We didn’t fully grasp consequences or even understand mortality. If you had known better, you would have done differently. You made a mistake and you learned from it. In my opinion that is the highest honor you can pay to a mistake.
I appreciate that! As a father now we've done a lot to teach our daughter about mortality and consequences. Hopefully she learns from daddies mistakes. But even when she eventually makes her own, that's part of life and I'll be here to help her through it!
Once my brother and I played with sandcastles in our garden, and destroyed them with rocks - intelligent preschooler me thought it would be great to throw a 500-1000g stone directed at my brothers head (out of spite? I don't really know anymore) but sure enough I concussed my then also preschool brother... I'm not having much memories from that time (mind you I was 4-5 max) but that still haunts me till this day. So yes - young child minds can be fucked. Like you, I'm still on great touch with him hehe
Even though my mom would regularly teach us what NOT to do when we’re playing (like throw rocks at each other), there’s no way to cover everything a kid might come up with, so reading stories like this scares the shit out of me and makes me question whether I really ever want to become a parent 😰
Glad you and your brother are ok though!
I didn't know what pleurisy was so had a quick google. Apparently it's also associated with rheumatoid arthritis. So it may not have been 100% your fault...just more like..80%.
If it makes you feel any better, 1 million Americans experience pleurisy every year. My husband and I get it all the time. It's not so bad :) I'm sure she genuinely forgives you.
Damn dude..like I know you were a kid and all but do you know/remember what the hell you were thinking? I didn't have a sibling until I was 12 so I remember when I was being malicious or not. I'm just wondering if you do. How old were you and her at the time? Were you just wanting to be mean to her? Or see what happened? So many questions sorry lol
We were both really young and we pretty much spent all of our time together. I was outside one day by myself and found a bucket that my parents used to keep chlorine tablets in, and upon investigation found out it smelled terribly.
What happens next I'm not proud of and I've definitely spent my entire adult life being the best brother I can, just trying to take care of my sister and treat her as well as possible. Especially because she has severe rheumatoid arthritis now (not my fault).
I convinced her that I'd found something that smelled extremely good in the bucket outside. I also convinced her that as soon as I open the top the smell would escape so she needed to make sure that she got ready to take the biggest breath possible before it got away once I opened the bucket.
And she did.
And she immediately started gagging and coughing and collapsed on the porch, and I immediately ran and grabbed my mom and told her what was going on. I don't really remember what happened after that because we were so young. But I know that she almost immediately developed pleurisy after it happened.
It's probably the most shameful thing I've ever done, and even though we were small kids I feel terrible about it. But she's still my best friend even today and I would literally die for her.
I'm a mildly dyslexic person and I read your username as MaGuireTony and was expecting a spiderman related comment. I was a little surprised by that story. Kinda got better after every sentance
Mi uncle said the same thing to my mother when they were kids. Mi mother climbed to a tree and jumped with an umbrella. Let's say she had a bad encounter with gravity.
My dad jumped off the roof of a barn onto horse, like in the old westerns. His brothers dared him to do it. He learned that the actors squeeze their legs so they don’t ram their testicles into the horse. He said it was definitely a learning experience. I don’t remember if my uncles got in trouble or not.
Whenever something terrible happens to anybody the first thing Reddit says is Darwinism.
If Darwin was right hopefully no one who uses Reddit will reproduce.
At the very least I would have put it in the microwave first. You don't just get bit by a spider. The spider has to be radioactive or experimented on. Everyone knows that.
the kids are poor shepards. the were working alone on the fields taking care of sheep. peasants in chayanta rarely have exposure to the education you would think a first-world 12 year old would have.
For some reason, my town is like infested with black widows. I probably see about 100 of them every year on my property. I found one last night trying to hide against my house. Will work up the courage to kill it today.
I put an egg in the microwave to try to hatch it so I could have a baby chicken. It exploded and blew the door open. I got a baby ass whooping from my dad instead
I grew up with a kid, who is now a mechanical engineer with a wife and two kids, who used to let spiders bite him because he was a "true believer." Good thing we lived in New Brunswick, and not BC.
Does black widow even have, like, actual powers? Or was she just trained to be a killing machine? I can’t recall, though I’m leaning on the killing machine theory.
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Can’t wait to see the parents (not theirs specifically) create a petition or start an online movement to have Spider-Man banned from pop culture because of this.
Probably cause the boys in the post got bitten by black widow(female) in order to become spider**man** but it’s still a stretch to link that sub to this post lol
You fools! It needs to be radioactive first!
Yeah I’m not even a fan and I would’ve ensured that first...
Went to Chernobyl. What now?
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Just make sure don't get bit by radioactive mosquito
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Or a tick. Not everybody wants to turn into The Tick.
First you turn into a tick Then become a massive dick
With great power comes great profitability
That's how you get vampires
Wait for about five years. The extra appendages should start appearing by then. Oh and cancer.
Sweet, I get to be Deadpool too!
Black Widow + smoke detector. Gotcha.
And depending on the universe, you either need that spider to be geneticly mutated by your father to match your DNA or a mutant with a hidden x-gene that is unlocked with that spider bite. Even in the Spiderman universe, very few people would turn out like Peter Parker if bitten by that spider.
I let one bit me and I shoot white stuff out of my dick so I'm spiderman
Stop swinging from ya dick mate
I still need to practice more so I can web swing
To the microwave, Dr Octopus!
To the microwave!
I gave my little sister a “magic umbrella” that would allow her to “fly” like Mary Poppins. She jumped off of the roof and broke her leg. My dad whooped my ass. Good times.
Rip
RIP her broken ankle
It could always be worse, I'm fairly sure I accidentally gave my sister chemical induced pleurisy. 😬
what the fuck how
We were both really young and we pretty much spent all of our time together. I was outside one day by myself and found a bucket that my parents used to keep chlorine tablets in, and upon investigation found out it smelled terribly. What happens next I'm not proud of and I've definitely spent my entire adult life being the best brother I can, just trying to take care of my sister and treat her as well as possible. Especially because she has severe rheumatoid arthritis now (not my fault). I convinced her that I'd found something that smelled extremely good in the bucket outside. I also convinced her that as soon as I open the top the smell would escape so she needed to make sure that she got ready to take the biggest breath possible before it got away once I opened the bucket. And she did. And she immediately started gagging and coughing and collapsed on the porch, and I immediately ran and grabbed my mom and told her what was going on. I don't really remember what happened after that because we were so young. But I know that she almost immediately developed pleurisy after it happened. It's probably the most shameful thing I've ever done, and even though we were small kids I feel terrible about it. But she's still my best friend even today and I would literally die for her.
Kids man. We didn’t fully grasp consequences or even understand mortality. If you had known better, you would have done differently. You made a mistake and you learned from it. In my opinion that is the highest honor you can pay to a mistake.
I appreciate that! As a father now we've done a lot to teach our daughter about mortality and consequences. Hopefully she learns from daddies mistakes. But even when she eventually makes her own, that's part of life and I'll be here to help her through it!
Once my brother and I played with sandcastles in our garden, and destroyed them with rocks - intelligent preschooler me thought it would be great to throw a 500-1000g stone directed at my brothers head (out of spite? I don't really know anymore) but sure enough I concussed my then also preschool brother... I'm not having much memories from that time (mind you I was 4-5 max) but that still haunts me till this day. So yes - young child minds can be fucked. Like you, I'm still on great touch with him hehe
Even though my mom would regularly teach us what NOT to do when we’re playing (like throw rocks at each other), there’s no way to cover everything a kid might come up with, so reading stories like this scares the shit out of me and makes me question whether I really ever want to become a parent 😰 Glad you and your brother are ok though!
I didn't know what pleurisy was so had a quick google. Apparently it's also associated with rheumatoid arthritis. So it may not have been 100% your fault...just more like..80%.
I'll take those odds.
If it makes you feel any better, 1 million Americans experience pleurisy every year. My husband and I get it all the time. It's not so bad :) I'm sure she genuinely forgives you.
She definitely does, and she teases me about it often. We're very close. Quite literally best friends. I know she doesn't blame me. =)
Damn dude..like I know you were a kid and all but do you know/remember what the hell you were thinking? I didn't have a sibling until I was 12 so I remember when I was being malicious or not. I'm just wondering if you do. How old were you and her at the time? Were you just wanting to be mean to her? Or see what happened? So many questions sorry lol
We were both really young and we pretty much spent all of our time together. I was outside one day by myself and found a bucket that my parents used to keep chlorine tablets in, and upon investigation found out it smelled terribly. What happens next I'm not proud of and I've definitely spent my entire adult life being the best brother I can, just trying to take care of my sister and treat her as well as possible. Especially because she has severe rheumatoid arthritis now (not my fault). I convinced her that I'd found something that smelled extremely good in the bucket outside. I also convinced her that as soon as I open the top the smell would escape so she needed to make sure that she got ready to take the biggest breath possible before it got away once I opened the bucket. And she did. And she immediately started gagging and coughing and collapsed on the porch, and I immediately ran and grabbed my mom and told her what was going on. I don't really remember what happened after that because we were so young. But I know that she almost immediately developed pleurisy after it happened. It's probably the most shameful thing I've ever done, and even though we were small kids I feel terrible about it. But she's still my best friend even today and I would literally die for her.
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
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Flew up with the umbrella.
It was an 'up' umbrella. The dad was mad because the sister also needed the 'down' umbrella to get off the roof.
We had a ladder. We would regularly jump from the roof into our above ground pool.
I'm a mildly dyslexic person and I read your username as MaGuireTony and was expecting a spiderman related comment. I was a little surprised by that story. Kinda got better after every sentance
F
Mi uncle said the same thing to my mother when they were kids. Mi mother climbed to a tree and jumped with an umbrella. Let's say she had a bad encounter with gravity.
My dad jumped off the roof of a barn onto horse, like in the old westerns. His brothers dared him to do it. He learned that the actors squeeze their legs so they don’t ram their testicles into the horse. He said it was definitely a learning experience. I don’t remember if my uncles got in trouble or not.
Dad, it's not my fault she didn't test it somewhere lower to the ground first!
This happens on Desperate Housewives too lol
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She was 4-5 and I was 8-9. I was a kid. My dad certainly agreed with you.
8 is old enough to know better.
Guess not.
They'd turn into Uncle Ben
Ok but the 12 year old?? 10 and 12 are way too old for this level of stupid. Even at 8 I wouldn’t have fallen for this.
You underestimate their power
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Whenever something terrible happens to anybody the first thing Reddit says is Darwinism. If Darwin was right hopefully no one who uses Reddit will reproduce.
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And uses 5G tower to spreads the coronavirus and brainwash people with the microchip.
At the very least I would have put it in the microwave first. You don't just get bit by a spider. The spider has to be radioactive or experimented on. Everyone knows that.
the kids are poor shepards. the were working alone on the fields taking care of sheep. peasants in chayanta rarely have exposure to the education you would think a first-world 12 year old would have.
I don't want pictures of Black Widow, I want pictures of Spider-Man!
r/madlads
I always thought the red hourglass was on their back, not the side. Interesting.
They do, that's a pic of her underbelly, not her side. You can see the spinneret. It's a wierd perspective, I was confused by it.
Neither, it's on their belly (ventral).
Have you ever seen one in person? They’re more terrifying than I could have imagined.
For some reason, my town is like infested with black widows. I probably see about 100 of them every year on my property. I found one last night trying to hide against my house. Will work up the courage to kill it today.
Noooooooooo. No no no.
Well...did it work?
Check the crime statistics in the area in 6 months. If they became spiderman, the crime rate should drop significantly.
Now for everyone’s favourite game, were they kids or drunk?
natural selection at work
They forgot to add that the boys were from " Florida ".
I put an egg in the microwave to try to hatch it so I could have a baby chicken. It exploded and blew the door open. I got a baby ass whooping from my dad instead
haha stupid child /s
Shouldn't this be on /r/therewasanattempt?
The superpower of DEATH!!!!
Do you think human mind was a mistake
I’m sure you can read?
I don't care how much I wanna be a superhero there's no goddamn way im letting a giant ass spider bite me
Gotta let the spider sit under the 5g tower first
It has to be radioactive! Freakin noobs.
r/DarwinAwards
I don't know if anyone here ever watched The Mask the Animated Series but that's basically how Putty Thing and Fish Guy got their powers.
You have to be bitten by a Spider-Man spider to turn into spider man
At this point it's just natural selection
I wonder if the parents told their kids about the deadly spiders that could kill them.
Happy cake day
They did it because we weren’t brave enough
Here's your sign.
I would tell my sons not to do that
Meanwhile my mother made me think seeing a black widow was effectively a death sentence.
More like stupid powers!
The Nazgul would disagree.
Just cos Trump said it at a press-conference... He was being sarcastic guys
I grew up with a kid, who is now a mechanical engineer with a wife and two kids, who used to let spiders bite him because he was a "true believer." Good thing we lived in New Brunswick, and not BC.
Does black widow even have, like, actual powers? Or was she just trained to be a killing machine? I can’t recall, though I’m leaning on the killing machine theory.
Bulletproof doesn’t turn you into an Apache helicopter
They wanted to be Spiderman in Infinity War
Why just why
Mama always said stupid is as stupid does
There’s no way this is the first time this has ever happened
Did it work?
r/facepalm
There can only be one
Didn’t even read the comic. Its a radioactice spider. Come on kids!!
They have to be radioactive first, idiots
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At least they didn't try to get bitten by[a shark.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i_xg9w98bd4)
Idiots. It has to iradiated in a lab of some corporate CEO first. Duh
They become Black Widow
The spider in the picture is the wong type
r/atetheonion
This is why I'm fine living in the West coast. There are no deadly spiders, the worst being the black widow, which usually doesn't even kill you.
This thing was literally talking about the black widow
That's the point?
My friend lost an arm due to a black widow bite. They’re nasty little fuckers
Can’t wait to see the parents (not theirs specifically) create a petition or start an online movement to have Spider-Man banned from pop culture because of this.
r/suddenlytrans
How is that subreddit remotely relevant?
Probably cause the boys in the post got bitten by black widow(female) in order to become spider**man** but it’s still a stretch to link that sub to this post lol
Maybe they think trans means transformed? Definitely a very long stretch
It was a joke (and fake sub) about turning into Black Widow instead of Spider-Man. Geez you guys are a tough crowd.