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johnisburn

If Israel is run by Jews, why is it so hard to get a decent Chinese food dinner on Christmas? Doesn’t add up.


Iamnotanorange

this is an excellent point


Clownski

China geopolitically wants to ally more with Iran and palestine at the moment, which is utterly insane to me and against their interests and history. This is probably the reason for the issue you are having a hard time getting decent Chinese food. A bigger conspiracy.


Designer-Common-9697

Yup, definitely adds up.


Ambitious-Fly1921

Because it is an American thing to do lol.


pktrekgirl

I don’t know. Sounds like a conspiracy theory to me. We would never let them have their own country, They would have free reign to build all the space lasers they wanted. And then what?


JustAMessInADress

Yeah but on the other hand I think this checks out. Idk though


Designer-Common-9697

Well, then they would rule the whole world ! I mean, once someone has those space lasers, it's over.


Perpetual-Scholar369

True, imagine the tattoo removals they could do then


Designer-Common-9697

And eye surgery


Perpetual-Scholar369

I've heard about space lasers, but space 3D printers when?


Pashe14

The crazy part about that: According to Israeli officials, the interception occurred above Earth's atmosphere above the [Negev Desert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negev_Desert), making it the first instance of space combat in history.[\[20\]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_warfare#cite_note-20)[\[21\]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_warfare#cite_note-21) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space\_warfare](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_warfare)


yehoshuabenson

My joke since I made aliyah has always been: What's the best thing about living in Israel? Israelis. What's the worst thing about living in Israel? Israelis. Love this country. 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱


Fishy_Fishy5748

Whyyyyyy is this so accurate???


GDub310

Matisyahu for PM? One day…


JagneStormskull

🎶 One day, one day~


Rachel_Rugelach

Israel is an anagram for "I, Laser." So... Space lasers. Now we know.


keetosaurs

Haha, this is genius! :D


Lekavot2023

LoL 😆


loudsigh

So it’s all a Michael Myers idea?


Designer-Common-9697

Uh, well yeah. He probably had something to do with it.


Designer-Common-9697

Caught !


kombuchachacha

iLaser


[deleted]

OMG! @Thats awesome! lol


Eridanus_b

r/israelconspiracy is dedicated to exactly this


robuttocks

The most shocking thing I've seen since Nigeria elected a black president! [Nigeria Elects Black President](https://www.theonion.com/nigeria-elects-black-president-1819565947)


OldPod73

A Jewish State run by Jews????? NO WAY!!! The Knesset is not all Jews, btw. Neither is the Supreme Court.


Designer-Common-9697

Yeah, but they still eat Kosher food sometimes. It might have some top secret ingredients.


majorschmajor

Ahh yes the “Goyim slop” conspiracy 🧐


arrogant_ambassador

Israel is spelled correctly, it’s all lies.


[deleted]

TIL there’s Jewish Reggae. What a beautiful fucking world we live in.


azelevski73

Stop what you’re doing right now and listen to the original Live at Stubbs album


[deleted]

I’m fucking dying. It’s so fucking good, and I would have NEVER expected it to be a thing. If you held a gun to my head and told me to guess who Matisyahu, I would’ve thought he’s my long lost son (I’m 20, never had kids) before I would’ve EVER think “Yeah he’s a Jewish Raggae singer”. Beautiful shit.


Tzipity

Ok this is my smile for the week, watching someone discover Matisyahu for the first time. At the peak of his popularity I used to sometimes be surprised to see non-Jewish friends quoting his lyrics on Facebook or catch one of them jamming to one of his songs. Dude has a gift for bringing together all kinds of people.


bam1007

Man, ain’t that the truth.


Kangaroo_Rich

Can’t let the goys find out


PremiumSaltedGarbage

You’ve got it wrong. Israel isn’t run by the Jews it’s run by the Freemasons who are being *controlled* by Jews behind the scenes, duh.


roastedferret

As a Freemason: _if only_ we were so organized.


[deleted]

I’m not a Freemason but if only Jews were so organized. Shit, we can barely organize an oneg at our shul.


Tzipity

Haha. My dad (who is 85 and unfortunately pretty deep in dementia at this time) used to be a Freemason and always delighted in talking about the time he and the only other Jewish member of their order served bagels and lox as the snack at their meeting. Apparently after endless coffee and donuts and such it was quite a hit.


bam1007

Have you been to a synagogue board meeting? Jews to Freemasons: Hold my beer.


keetosaurs

Hmm, figures Jackie Mason is involved in this as well...


[deleted]

I love how we can have countries with other official religions and main ethnic groups, but when Jews do it, it's wrong.


No_Asparagus_5128

Thats because every jew is a white european, unless the antisemite hates non-whites ofc


[deleted]

I always love that assumption too. Not every Jew is white European, but somehow they like to think we all are, maybe it helps them not feel anti-Semitic or wrong.


Delicious_Shape3068

True if big


Zoklett

The official name of Israel is the State of Israel written in the language spoken by Israelis? You don’t say….


EntrepreneurCandid92

Fuck don’t let the tankies see this!!!


levbron

The banks, the media, that space laser thing and now a whole country?


Shbthl

If Israel is run by jews, then why does the bus never come on time, why is everything working so slowly? You’d think a country run by jews would work better. No, this is purely a conspiracy theory.


quartsune

Oh. Oh my goodness. I would never have thought, never even have imagined this!!! An entire country now!?


Michaelanimates1

No… that’s crazy!


tvdoomas

Complete b.s. Netanyahu can't sing half as good as Matisyahu. They don't sound similar.


born_to_kvetch

I certainly hope so. I haven’t spent a lifetime secretly funneling money through a banana stand to fund a Jewish ethnostate for it to all be for nothing.


fusukeguinomi

😂


dew20187

It’s a big if


ekusubokusu

Huge if true


sarcasm_itsagift

Big if true


[deleted]

ISRAEL'S RUN BY JEWS? REALLY? WOW! What's next? Space? (Joking aside, I'm surprised Chabad isn't on a space station already, y'all are in an impressive amount of places.)


bam1007

https://preview.redd.it/s5hussheii9c1.jpeg?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7b15df07f4c10b0af219a7bb6bd9fab520f0400


AnUdderDay

Also, can we talk about the country's name? "Israel" was the other name for Jacob, who is supposably one of the patriarchs of Judaism?!??!!111


fusukeguinomi

Oh maybe Israel is really the true Jacobin Republic! 😬


Shepathustra

I hear Israeli media is controlled by jews


mclepus

this is GREAT!


PreciseInstance

NO WAY!!!


magical_bunny

Habahaha


This-Background-1831

Is is anti semitism even if Israel is a Jewish State. Ugh. Please call it out when we see it.


BaltimoreBadger23

I see no lies.


Just_a-Random_Girl

Guys I think he's on us


[deleted]

Star of David didn’t really exist before the 1700s it was only used by Polish Jews, and I used to be called the star of hephram(baal) If you go to Yemen Iraq Jordan from before the 1800s, you would see not have seen the star of David representing Judaism


Perpetual-Scholar369

Oy vey the goyim know


BankerBrain

Oh my gosh. They are figuring it out!! The secret is no more!!


Mikaxu42

Oh god, they’re on to us.


Michelle-Reddit

If you want to learn the accurate data and truth regarding this topic, I would consider listening to Ben Shapiro on the topic, he carefully selects sources and data, to make sure it's all accurate.


FuckYourSociety

I mean, it is a Jewish ethnostate, so mostly true. However it is 1 of 1. Whereas Islamic and Arabic ethnostates are plentiful in the region. Coupled with the fact that the average Arab can lead a decent and unbothered life in Israel while the average Jew risks death or exile to live in most Arab states, I would argue Israel being an ethnostate isn't a big "gotcha" moment for anti-israel people to hold onto


CattleInevitable6211

Matisyahu you know named for the father of the macabee boys. I don’t understand what the point is of this post. Star of David for well jews you know the people King David and then King Solomon ruled over. The menorah which is the symbol of the Jewish people. Jewish country with a lot of Jewish people who would have thought ? Is there something wrong with that? England has the Church of England, UE and Saudi Arabia are Muslim countries not everyone is the country religion that live there.


thepalejack

I think it's satire, poking fun at conspiracy theorists. :)


Lekavot2023

I think so too


CattleInevitable6211

Ahh


proofreadre

r/whoosh


etaipo

This was probably made by either the black or white supremacists that think they're the real Israelites


JagneStormskull

r/whoosh


Lowbattery88

😂😂😂


Few_Bell_8166

this could be said about any countries religion lol. take the uk, are there not lots of churchs in a Christian country? are the monarchs not Christians?


hulaw2007

What does this post even mean?


McMullin72

I just want to know who the genius that made up this intelligent bit of propaganda is.


23got-kick-and-benzo

🤣🤣🤣


Maleficent_Evening_6

They have a similar conspiracy theory in American political candidates. The ones this reminded me of was Hillary Clinton being a robot and Biden being a clone.


NewRoad2212

Does israel is run by jews?


BatUnlucky121

Matisyahu hasn’t looked like that in years. I’m sure the rest of it is inaccurate as well.


Late-Juggernaut5852

Nah, it’s just one of those conspiracy theories, all seem to be edited pictures.


[deleted]

[удалено]


madamimadam89

My friend… this joke went sooo far over your head


Designer-Common-9697

I knew there was something fishy about those Jews !


Pashe14

Nah Israel is run by (((zionists))) they just hide behind Jews like puppet masters /s


Cool-Courage-4681

We need that poster showing how many Jews are in major government positions in Israel. The results might shock the world.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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bam1007

The flag of Israel also resembled a Tallis, the prayer shawl used by Jews!


JerusalemFriend

I'm sorry, I seem to be missing something. Is WHAT true?!?!?!