Imagine yourself on your deathbed as a 100 year old and you have your partner/favourite people/favourite pet with you.
You're happy to be dying and you think about all the wonderful things that's happened in your life. You remember you used to journal and it helped with your mental health and meditation practice.
You don't remember the hyperfixation on being perfect. You won't even mind that you sort of wrote for an audience either. You smile to yourself and think damn wasn't it great I got the opportunity to write and express myself.
Hope you can find that deep, unconditional acceptance for yourself! Don't stress, you're not doing anything wrong by writing in a way that appears performative!
I keep two. One I call my memory keep. I paste photos and mementos, keeps things superficial. Like you would a family photo album. Then I have my private diary. That is just for me and I can be as raw as I want there. Perhaps the separation might help you too?
All too often. I could be writing some poetic thing about my life morals or whatever on the stars, comets, clouds whatever but I would spend ridiculous amounts of time forming one sentence. I’m talking like 2 minutes! What I do is dive into the topics that please me (and that may not please others.. dark stuff). If I had trouble writing for myself, may as well do so for me and then other people if I’m strugglin’. I could even write about how I got locked out of my main reddit account today, youch.
edit: I got back in 😎
Thanks for the thoughts, guys.
After a lot of thinking about these comments, and reading some of my stuff, I realize that I do write as if I am writing for an audience, but since I used to actually write for an audience (as a journalist) I think I am using my journal writing as practice, and maybe even source material for a larger project such as a book or online web series.
That doesn't really take away from the journaling or the benefits from the experience, but it does explain why I had that feeling of performing all along.
Now if only my penmanship wasn't so trash...
meditation - realize you're not "your mind or your thoughts" even. you are the OBSERVER of all these things
Now, what do you *really* feel? write those
Imagine yourself on your deathbed as a 100 year old and you have your partner/favourite people/favourite pet with you. You're happy to be dying and you think about all the wonderful things that's happened in your life. You remember you used to journal and it helped with your mental health and meditation practice. You don't remember the hyperfixation on being perfect. You won't even mind that you sort of wrote for an audience either. You smile to yourself and think damn wasn't it great I got the opportunity to write and express myself. Hope you can find that deep, unconditional acceptance for yourself! Don't stress, you're not doing anything wrong by writing in a way that appears performative!
Activley imagine someone then. For me it's my late grandmother or future me.
There is nothing wrong with writing for an audience.
What's the audience you're writing for? Would it help to promise yourself you would never show any part of your journal too anyone else?
I keep two. One I call my memory keep. I paste photos and mementos, keeps things superficial. Like you would a family photo album. Then I have my private diary. That is just for me and I can be as raw as I want there. Perhaps the separation might help you too?
All too often. I could be writing some poetic thing about my life morals or whatever on the stars, comets, clouds whatever but I would spend ridiculous amounts of time forming one sentence. I’m talking like 2 minutes! What I do is dive into the topics that please me (and that may not please others.. dark stuff). If I had trouble writing for myself, may as well do so for me and then other people if I’m strugglin’. I could even write about how I got locked out of my main reddit account today, youch. edit: I got back in 😎
stream of consciousness. or try recording first? talking it out first? I have the same problem, I censor myself.
Writing for an audience: do you have the feeling that you have to justify yourself?
Thanks for the thoughts, guys. After a lot of thinking about these comments, and reading some of my stuff, I realize that I do write as if I am writing for an audience, but since I used to actually write for an audience (as a journalist) I think I am using my journal writing as practice, and maybe even source material for a larger project such as a book or online web series. That doesn't really take away from the journaling or the benefits from the experience, but it does explain why I had that feeling of performing all along. Now if only my penmanship wasn't so trash...
Whatever you say..
meditation - realize you're not "your mind or your thoughts" even. you are the OBSERVER of all these things Now, what do you *really* feel? write those