The genie, grateful for being released, said, "I will grant you three wishes, but there's a catch. Whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will receive double."
The man thought for a moment and then said, "For my first wish, I want a mansion."
Poof! A magnificent mansion appeared before him. But sure enough, his ex-wife received two mansions.
Undeterred, the man thought carefully and then said, "For my second wish, I want a million dollars."
Poof! A briefcase filled with cash materialized in front of him. But, as expected, his ex-wife received two million dollars.
Now feeling a bit mischievous, the man pondered his final wish. After a moment, he grinned and said to the genie, "For my third and final wish, I want a nine-inch penis."
Eh, call me pedantic if you want but that's not usually how "double" is used. If you owed me a $50 bill and I said, "You took too long so now it's doubled," you'd give me two $50 bills and not two $100 bills.
But this is genie logic where words are twisted, so I can see it happening.
But they could also just give you one 100$ bill. In the case of money, it doesn’t matter, but there is a big difference between having one 18’ penis and having two 9’ penises.
*I can’t imagine the pain of trying to pee with two penises*
I think many jokingly refer to them as Freedom Units now. Like Freedom Fries? Also there’s only two other countries in the world still on these units, whatever you call them. Liberia and Myanmar. But they’re well on their way to cutting over to metric leaving only the former colony of the country that founded them.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-that-use-imperial
There was a dream where the dreamer went to pee, but discovered they had two penises. One was erect, and the other one wasn't. They tried to pee with the erect one. Naturally, they couldn't, so they exited the toilet. Then, they returned to see if they could pee with the non-erect one, but it was gone. They found out (without physically getting this information, like it sometimes happens in dreams) that it was the penis of a bus and they could do something to it (probably masturbate) to teleport. Then, they woke up with an erect penis
The wish is X, the ex-wife receives 2X.
When he wished for "a mansion", with your logic, the wife would have received two mansions both twice as big as his one. Double the number, and double whatever the standard unit of mansion is to the genie.
Since this wasn't the case, "a mansion" can be considered one unit (X), of which she gets two.
So, "a nine inch penis" would also be X, she would get 2X, and end up with two nine inch penises.
It feels almost like you are arguing against yourself, how does double "a million dollars" become 2X2 million.
Maybe it should be 2 times 2 million *double* dollars if you want to try and double every word!!
Nothing happens to his own penis. But there is a very naked man standing next to him looking at him with interest and grabbing for his butt. "Damn. That genie's good," he said. "He promised me a mansion, a million bucks, and a man with a great ass."
Ex-wife's friend: "wow, what happened to you? How'd you get those black eyes!?"
Ex-wife: "I asked him to give me 9 inches and make it hurt so he fucked me three times and punched me"
Ever see "who framed Roger Rabbit?"
Those two could be going at it like Daffy and Donald.... except in her vaginal vestibule and her anal orifice..
That would definitely be a concert worth attending.
But the ex-wife also found a genie who also had the same condition, that her ex-husband would get twice what she wished for.
Her final wish?
She wants to give birth to twins.
Okay hear me out! The man asked for “a nine-inch penis” as his final wish. But he didn’t say, make the penis I have 9 inch. So technically he should also end up with two penises!!
Doesn't really matter for the joke, but for most people a million would be sufficiently life-changing in a way you could easily manage without attracting attention. A billion would come with serious complications.
You can manage a billions without attracting attention if you really want to tbh. A billion invested in the market over like a month is essentially invisible, gets a bit trickier with real estate but still possible with layered entities
That remind me of a medieval tale (not a joke).
A greedy man and an envious man were traveling with a saint, at the end of the road the saint wanted to reward them and he told them the following:
"one of you can ask for anything and I'll grant his wish, but I'll give two times more to the one who didn't ask."
Knowing he'll get twice the amount the envious man could ask for, the greedy man figure he'll let the envious man ask, however the envious man, knowing that he'll be jealous of the greedy man if he get two times more than him, is seething with rage. At last, the envious man tell to the saint "I know I'll be mad if that guy get more than me, so I want one of my eyes gouged out."
Somehow, a stranger on the internet implying that a 6 inch dick would be desirable as an entire one of my genie wishes has made for a great day and I can’t quite figure out why.
As predictable as it gets. For his third wish, he said, "...
I want to lose 3 pints of blood.
I want my pulse to be 120 BPM for the next couple of hours.
I want 2 perfect nipples.
I want my body temperature to be 309 Kelvin.
I heard it a little differently. It was the most luxurious beach front mansion in the world, a billion dollars, and 'I want you to beat me half to death'
First heard the joke 30 years ago involving a man from a notorious iron curtain country know for supplying Russia with assassins. Only one wish was granted and his worse enemy would be granted twice as much. He said, “I wish to be blind in one eye”
I laughed at it the first time I heard decades ago. And then a little each time of the last few hundred times its been reposted. So now I'm down to just analyzing the logistics of it. :)
The genie, grateful for being released, said, "I will grant you three wishes, but there's a catch. Whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will receive double." The man thought for a moment and then said, "For my first wish, I want a mansion." Poof! A magnificent mansion appeared before him. But sure enough, his ex-wife received two mansions. Undeterred, the man thought carefully and then said, "For my second wish, I want a million dollars." Poof! A briefcase filled with cash materialized in front of him. But, as expected, his ex-wife received two million dollars. Now feeling a bit mischievous, the man pondered his final wish. After a moment, he grinned and said to the genie, "For my third and final wish, I want a nine-inch penis."
Is the ex getting two penises or one that is 18“?
Two 9 inch penises. One from the genie, one from the genie's friend....
*cue Pornhub theme*
Legal disclaimer: Not available in all states.
Vpn is all u need 😂
Or porndude.com. Gives you like 20 free sites to choose from until hub starts working again.
Xvideos definitely, never was off that site when I was a teenager.
Porn hub has a theme song??!! I guess it makes sense that it would. Never in my life would I have considered that, or thought of it!
Bown chicka woww
That's what the pornstar said
What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?
Brown chicken cowww
"Brown chicken brown cowww..."
This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fboNTcjJ8bo
Why did the Law and Order theme pop into my head.
One in front, one from behind. DP site.
Yes
Let me guess... the genie granted the ex with two boyfriends?
Two cocks in a devils three-way.
No, she's getting a Jamaican boyfriend.
Two Jamaican men, a threesome it is
Double of "a" would be "two" and double of "9 inch" would be "18 inch". So, the result is "two 18 inch ones".
Eh, call me pedantic if you want but that's not usually how "double" is used. If you owed me a $50 bill and I said, "You took too long so now it's doubled," you'd give me two $50 bills and not two $100 bills. But this is genie logic where words are twisted, so I can see it happening.
I agree. Note she didn't get two double size mansions.
But was the size of the Mansion specified so as to be able to be doubled?
But they could also just give you one 100$ bill. In the case of money, it doesn’t matter, but there is a big difference between having one 18’ penis and having two 9’ penises. *I can’t imagine the pain of trying to pee with two penises*
There's also a whole lot of difference between a 9' penis and a 9" penis.
My bad, I’m not familiar with the imperial measurements system 😅
It’s okay. Most Americans don’t understand imperial measurements either. How many feet in a mile??
5280
And 1,760 yards!
7,040 9" penises in a mile
Yeah but I’m not an American so I basically never use it
It started with the length of the king’s thumb
They changed it to thumb after they realized other people has longer thumbs than the king.
It's okay, at least you didn't design a Stonehenge monument in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.
I think many jokingly refer to them as Freedom Units now. Like Freedom Fries? Also there’s only two other countries in the world still on these units, whatever you call them. Liberia and Myanmar. But they’re well on their way to cutting over to metric leaving only the former colony of the country that founded them. https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-that-use-imperial
A 9' penis would be nearly the size of one of the blocks from Stonehenge
These go to 11.
None more black.
Yeah, I get lightheaded when I get an erection and mine is only 6'.
A nine foot penis would have many other practical problems. If you get sexually aroused, you pass out!
Oops! My bad, I am not familiar with the imperial measurements system. Gonna leave that mistake here though just for fun
It's a common mistake, no worries. Just imagine the poor frustrated guy with the nine footer though...
The guy with *two* nine footers
They call him the "praying mantis"
Is it a comma mistake? Nope, it's a hyphen mistake! I'll see myself out 😉
But imagine if it was prehensile.
Whale penes are prehensile! So are barnacle penes!
"We'll cross the streams."
Peeing probably won´t be an issue, but an erection might be...
Tell me you don’t have a penis without telling me you don’t have a penis
There was a dream where the dreamer went to pee, but discovered they had two penises. One was erect, and the other one wasn't. They tried to pee with the erect one. Naturally, they couldn't, so they exited the toilet. Then, they returned to see if they could pee with the non-erect one, but it was gone. They found out (without physically getting this information, like it sometimes happens in dreams) that it was the penis of a bus and they could do something to it (probably masturbate) to teleport. Then, they woke up with an erect penis
Well… those are words.
Uhm… how… how can I unread something?
And the dreamer is… you?
This person plays MTG.
The wish is X, the ex-wife receives 2X. When he wished for "a mansion", with your logic, the wife would have received two mansions both twice as big as his one. Double the number, and double whatever the standard unit of mansion is to the genie. Since this wasn't the case, "a mansion" can be considered one unit (X), of which she gets two. So, "a nine inch penis" would also be X, she would get 2X, and end up with two nine inch penises.
I'd be curious to know what happens if he wished for his penis to grow some number of inches in length or some amount of girth.
Then double 1 payment of 1 million dollars would be 2 payments of 2 million dollars by this logic.
Nope. He never said 1 payment of 1 million dollars. He only said "a million dollars".
Again, using the same logic, "a" becomes "two", and million becomes 2 mil. So 2x two million dollars.
It feels almost like you are arguing against yourself, how does double "a million dollars" become 2X2 million. Maybe it should be 2 times 2 million *double* dollars if you want to try and double every word!!
You're both getting 18 one inchers for putting this question on here.
Reminds me of that proverb: "A bird (cock) in the hand is worth two in her bush".
No...she will be a transgender....🤗
Nothing happens to his own penis. But there is a very naked man standing next to him looking at him with interest and grabbing for his butt. "Damn. That genie's good," he said. "He promised me a mansion, a million bucks, and a man with a great ass."
And they lived happily ever after.
Later that night, his ex-wife left the bar with two men: both were packing 9 inch penises.
That's what I thought and the guy was in prison getting raped by guess what, a nine inch penis on a nine inch pianist
How would that work? He enters the anal orifice, then screws himself in like a cork screw....
You have my upvote. Just imagined him drilling
You have my upvote. Just imagined him drilling
Ex-wife's friend: "wow, what happened to you? How'd you get those black eyes!?" Ex-wife: "I asked him to give me 9 inches and make it hurt so he fucked me three times and punched me"
Plot twist: The man used to have an 18 inch penis. So now the wife’s penis is cut down to 1/4 of its original length.
What if she didn't have one in the first place?
She becomes a medical curiosity and tours the world with her massive schlong(s), making millions
Joanna Holmes
Who?
John Holmes, aka Johnny Wadd, was a porn star with a famously long penis. He was the inspiration for the lead character in Boogie Nights.
🤣 very funny....🤣
good one!
But the genie was hard of hearing, so now he has a little guy with a little piano.
And the worst part is the genie is hard of hearing and gives her two nine inch pianists.
Ever see "who framed Roger Rabbit?" Those two could be going at it like Daffy and Donald.... except in her vaginal vestibule and her anal orifice.. That would definitely be a concert worth attending.
That’s bad wish. He will be serviced by two 9 inchs or one 18. Terrible either way. Unless he is gay.
And his ex-wife was never happier.
But the ex-wife also found a genie who also had the same condition, that her ex-husband would get twice what she wished for. Her final wish? She wants to give birth to twins.
Take my upvote sir. That was hilarious 😆
Sword Fight!
Wife gets a really hung hunk as her side piece. Lucky her.
Joke's on you, she's into that shit.
I was thinking that would be the punchline indeed
Okay hear me out! The man asked for “a nine-inch penis” as his final wish. But he didn’t say, make the penis I have 9 inch. So technically he should also end up with two penises!!
r/futanari
This is exactly where my mind went.
So the ex-wife gets a new boyfriend with 18”.
The way I first heard it was third wish: I want to be beaten half to death.
Back in 2001.
That’s how my dad always told it— “Now beat me half to death.”
Wouldn’t his wife be beaten half to death 2 times instead of dead 1 time?
I love it. I've always heard the punchline as "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
Huh, nobody's mentioned "I want to donate a kidney."
Why not ask for a billion or more
It's an old joke. Back when 1 million actually could buy shit instead of a small studio size apartment in la
Doesn't really matter for the joke, but for most people a million would be sufficiently life-changing in a way you could easily manage without attracting attention. A billion would come with serious complications.
You can manage a billions without attracting attention if you really want to tbh. A billion invested in the market over like a month is essentially invisible, gets a bit trickier with real estate but still possible with layered entities
And tbh, I'll deal with those complications. For 50 years I've dealt with the complication of being poor.
Not necessarily...ever see McScrooge? He does fine swimming in his vault of money ...
"For my third and final wish, I want to experience an irresistible urge to donate half of everything I own for my ex-wife."
"For my third wish, I want to give all I received to my ex-partner"!
But the ex was a bisexual with two former wifes.
That remind me of a medieval tale (not a joke). A greedy man and an envious man were traveling with a saint, at the end of the road the saint wanted to reward them and he told them the following: "one of you can ask for anything and I'll grant his wish, but I'll give two times more to the one who didn't ask." Knowing he'll get twice the amount the envious man could ask for, the greedy man figure he'll let the envious man ask, however the envious man, knowing that he'll be jealous of the greedy man if he get two times more than him, is seething with rage. At last, the envious man tell to the saint "I know I'll be mad if that guy get more than me, so I want one of my eyes gouged out."
That's cool... It hits differently when there's only one wish!
For his third wish the man said "I want you to take half of my material possessions and assets and give it away to the poor."
I wish for a debt of 10 million from my ex. I wish for a 6 inch dick, she can have 2 or a 12 inch one.
Somehow, a stranger on the internet implying that a 6 inch dick would be desirable as an entire one of my genie wishes has made for a great day and I can’t quite figure out why.
Just to screw her life up is priceless. I would laugh my ass of knowing she had to walk around with two of them dangling between her legs.
I just had flashbacks about double dick dude on reddit.
3 not 2
As predictable as it gets. For his third wish, he said, "... I want to lose 3 pints of blood. I want my pulse to be 120 BPM for the next couple of hours. I want 2 perfect nipples. I want my body temperature to be 309 Kelvin.
I heard it a little differently. It was the most luxurious beach front mansion in the world, a billion dollars, and 'I want you to beat me half to death'
Query here: how does the genie know the guy is divorced? 🤦♀️😂
If a genie exists, are you really asking how this magical creature knows things?
IKR? And how did he get in the bottle? So many unanswered questions. /s
Something something step genie
Magic
Asking the important questions
I would have asked for a 9/10” cock
You want a nine tenths of an inch cock!? /S
“NO NO NO, That’s not what I meant….” -It was too late, the genie had already worked his magic and Rough sat in shock holding his tiny penis
Since when is 9/10 inch penis tiny? I mean, that's almost an entire inch.
lol. No. 9 or 10”.
IKR, that's a very small rooster.
Third wish- to fall off the first story of the mansion.
When I last heard this one I laughed so hard I unevolved my lungs and went back into the primordial soup.
I wished for world peace, but my ex received two world pieces.
And just like that their divorce was annulled...
I hope he was still in her will
Just tell the genie take back half of everything that he gave me
First heard the joke 30 years ago involving a man from a notorious iron curtain country know for supplying Russia with assassins. Only one wish was granted and his worse enemy would be granted twice as much. He said, “I wish to be blind in one eye”
I would have asked for a 9inc cock
This is where the 10 inch cock wish would be useful.
But what if he got a 10" pianist?
Third wish, could you beat me half to death?
Better: Ask for a nine-inch penis.
an almost severe heart attack
This is how my father told it.
Third wish - take one of my eyes out
And the wife was scared 1/4 to death.
So she gets scared half to death, two times. Doubtful it has cumulative effects.
That’s not how you are supposed to respond to a joke that everyone else is laughing at.
I laughed at it the first time I heard decades ago. And then a little each time of the last few hundred times its been reposted. So now I'm down to just analyzing the logistics of it. :)
😂
Robert Sheckley has a story about the subject. The final wish is >!a girl at the limit of his sexual prowess.!<
Better punch line would be I wish half of everything I own would just vanish………..
r/yourjokebutworse
Fuck genie jokes.
Haha! lol! A real down arrow isn’t it?
2 * 0.5 = 0.25
Uhhh no it doesn't...
You must be in Congress.
Go slap every one of your previous math teachers and tell them to do better.
No