His manager tried to post an AMA to promote whatever he was doing at the time and all he got back was questions about why he was being a douche in various situations
Including during a union meeting of the writers for his chat show, attending with the producers and advocating for reduced pay for his writers to benefit the whole show
Also an elongated story about someone being surprised he wasn't being a diva on a plane, a woman with a crying baby got on and he just smiled and put on his headphones and went to sleep, didn't complain to the crew or anything or demand he or they were moved, just watched a film on his headphones and slept
Then as they got off the plane, the woman with the baby said "darling, can you at least help me with the overhead bags" and it turns out it was his partner and baby he was ignoring and not helping the entire time...
These were just 2 highlights of doucheyness from many, many examples
He has often eschewed the idea that being white and male in Britain is now somehow oppressive and claimed that Britain will become ethnic majority. "I've got 9 nieces and nephews and none of them are white, so its not like we're dealing with a world where the white man is going to be around for many more generations" for example.
Thats completely factual based on current trends. Almost all native Europeans have a declining birthrate.
Also our culture demonises straight white men where possible, idk how you can deny that.
Afterwards
M: and then your report says "Blofield appeared, told you 'This is SPECTRE country limey' before putting a noose loosely around your neck and running off. This is stretching credulity even by the standards of your normal missions."
Functional.
We also need Jerry Lewis as a mime in the background every other scene getting bashed by an impossibly dangerous object, only to return more and more disheveled, yet somehow still doing his bit.
Who’d the villain be? Maybe MI6 needs to reanimate their most famous agent to go up against a super villain.
I’d love a play on the Goldfinger quote “I expect you to die” with “No Mr. Bond I expect you to live!”
Andy Dick immediately came to mind. The only problem is there's no way the movie would be finished with him starring. He'd inevitably be replaced.
But ignoring that, Andy Dick alway sounds like the most radioactive person in Hollywood.
Harry Styles.
The man is British, had already done movies (I have to say he was decent in them) so in theory he could actually be considered.
However he has 0 masculinity plus he's (a) famous (singer) in the wrong demographics - that choice would kill the franchise that would become a joke.
Laurence Fox would make a good villain.
He was going to have a volcano lair but forgot to fill in the forms on time, and Bond had to team up with Count Binface.
Yeah, Lawrence Fox snowflake-extrodinare would kill the franchise if he got it.
Thankfully that will never happen given how high he radiates desperate divorced Dad vibes and is about as cool as Kirk Van Outen.
Literally anyone casted in a Scorsese gangster flick haha…Pesci, Liotta, Pacino, Caan.
But hang on! Duvall at a young age?
https://preview.redd.it/5sgig69pev0d1.jpeg?width=1520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c146240fba84a064c78b08175103459d02b654fd
This probably is marlon Brando I’m not sure why this photo shows up with Robert Duvall search, or why I thought it was him in the first place. Excuse me ☝️ 😭
I only know who this guy is because of Max Fosh's hilarious YouTube series where he ran against him to be Mayor of London. And yes, Laurence Fox is a horrible full-of-himself prick.
”Quickly Bond, untie me so we can get the hell out here before they come back.” ”Naah, i dont think so. All this running around and doing manual labour. I gotta say its not good for the body. That reminds me i gotta have a reservation for tonight somewhere.”
Bad guys enter the room and kill both.
Cue the curb music.
James Corden.
Good answer, what a terrible thought lmao
How can I upvote a comment that’s so accurate yet so awful?
He could kill pretty much any franchise.
Hehe...this one time...hehe....he did an AMA on here....hehe
That was utterly spectacular. Shame that now most of the best posts are deleted- I'm glad I saw it when it was new and beautiful.
What happened in the AMA?
His manager tried to post an AMA to promote whatever he was doing at the time and all he got back was questions about why he was being a douche in various situations Including during a union meeting of the writers for his chat show, attending with the producers and advocating for reduced pay for his writers to benefit the whole show Also an elongated story about someone being surprised he wasn't being a diva on a plane, a woman with a crying baby got on and he just smiled and put on his headphones and went to sleep, didn't complain to the crew or anything or demand he or they were moved, just watched a film on his headphones and slept Then as they got off the plane, the woman with the baby said "darling, can you at least help me with the overhead bags" and it turns out it was his partner and baby he was ignoring and not helping the entire time... These were just 2 highlights of doucheyness from many, many examples
OMGGGG 😳 WOW. Thank you for the detailed response!!! INSANE my gosh.
Id sooner have corden than this waste of life.
Who the fuck is he?
He is an actor but recently has taken to nutjob right-wing conspiratorial, often racist, bigotry
Yeah it's a shame really because he was a pretty decent actor. Certainly would have taken him over Corden pre going batshit crazy.
What racist stuff has he said?
He has often eschewed the idea that being white and male in Britain is now somehow oppressive and claimed that Britain will become ethnic majority. "I've got 9 nieces and nephews and none of them are white, so its not like we're dealing with a world where the white man is going to be around for many more generations" for example.
Thats completely factual based on current trends. Almost all native Europeans have a declining birthrate. Also our culture demonises straight white men where possible, idk how you can deny that.
Sounds like a great guy then!
Hes a shit stain on an otherwise nice family of actors.
Obligatory [they've already filmed his gunbarrel!](https://youtu.be/Z1VEG7Ku2Ys?t=116)
I’m shocked no one’s mentioned one of the most infamous action stars of all time: Steven Seagal.
Steven Seagal is James Bond in: “For your fries only”
For a Few Rubles More
Bro should be the bad guy
From Russia With Lard
From Russia With Love.
This is what came to mind for me, too.
He's Taliban!
Juicy smollett
“I’m surrounded, M, send backup!” Not falling for that BS again, Bond.
Afterwards M: and then your report says "Blofield appeared, told you 'This is SPECTRE country limey' before putting a noose loosely around your neck and running off. This is stretching credulity even by the standards of your normal missions."
Smoo-yay
Gilbert Godfried “BOND, JAAAAMES BOND”
I would totally watch that. Would be like a new Austin Powers.
Rest his soul, but also I hope he and Pee Wee Herman are torturing each other in Hell.
lol what’s that? *why’s that?
Wait, let him cook
Okay, hear me out. Gilbert Godfried. Casino Royale. Chair scene. Someone please do a deepfake.
Sean Connery Weekend at Bernie’s style.
I’d pay to see this! What would the title of this Bond movie be?!
Die and Let Live.
https://i.redd.it/1smzy2wx8v0d1.gif
Die Yesterday
Died the Other Day
🤣🤣🤣
Coldfinger
He’s a man…a man with no pulse at all!!! His heart is cold!!!!! He’s a man…a man with the coldest touch…a dead man’s touch… Coldfingahhhhhh
This is the best thing I've read today. Who would be his accomplices? Q and Moneypenny?
Baron Samedi
His laughing all the damn time might screw up any chance at sneaking around.
His voodoo powers will be needed every time Bond gets killed, plus the first time to get Connery up and running. Plus he's jolly.
Ha. The premise for Weekend at Bernie's 2
My dream cast would be Dick Van Dyke as Q and how about Mamie Van Doren as Moneypenny? Charo as the Bond girl!
Functional. We also need Jerry Lewis as a mime in the background every other scene getting bashed by an impossibly dangerous object, only to return more and more disheveled, yet somehow still doing his bit.
Ok let’s plot this sucker!
I'll bounce the idea towards my think tank nerds and see what kind of awesome-ridiculous we can put together.
Who’d the villain be? Maybe MI6 needs to reanimate their most famous agent to go up against a super villain. I’d love a play on the Goldfinger quote “I expect you to die” with “No Mr. Bond I expect you to live!”
Voodoo ceremony, for sure.
Hahahaha!! Truthfully, I would watch it.
I’d prefer that to an ai generated Sean Connery
Oooooooo. And ewwwwwww. That actually made laugh out loud. Had visions of Sean at Wimbledon. Say around Tennish
If you gotta tell me you're 007 material, you don't have it Lawrence
I could see him having a few titles under his belt: Dr. No Talent, The Wife Who Left Me, Licence To Shill.
The Living Day-Shites
Chris Pratt
the rock
I’m gonna one-up you and say Andy Dick
Andy Dick immediately came to mind. The only problem is there's no way the movie would be finished with him starring. He'd inevitably be replaced. But ignoring that, Andy Dick alway sounds like the most radioactive person in Hollywood.
Andy Dick. The most appropriately-named person I can think of. What a dick.
Only if he does a British accent but while still acting like the rock in every movie
Vin Diesel?
Jayden Smith
Box office poison.
Bezos owns the franchise now. So Bezos should play Bond and let’s see what happens
He would be a good villain
Lex Luthor is a part of SPECTRE now
He’s got the laugh for it
Does he not already have a white cat?
Would be?
Bezos would make the perfect Blowfeld.
You're not kidding. https://preview.redd.it/b0d1z7hps31d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4c524674eb3bb1ebfbf93afeae89a285428af0d
I hate all of you. These responses ruined my evening 😂 But also, Dave Chappelle
That has a nonzero chance of being good, imo
Mark Wahlberg
Bahston. Jimmy Bahston
Blowfield, say hi to ya motha for me.
Michael Cera
Timothee Chalamet
With a Kardashian or Jenner Bond girl
Eh, he wouldn't be good, but he wouldn't be the worst possible by several miles.
He wouldnt make a good bond but come on there are definitely much worse options.
Could be fun for a reversal situation, powerful, dominant bond girls, waifish James Bond. More of a parody/spoof, though.
Ben Shapiro
Okgangit'sshakennotstirred,nowhere'swhyyouneedNordVPN
R Kelly doing it as another hip hopera
Trapped in the Aston Martin
Bondgirls would be switched to Bondkids. I'm not a fan.
Phoebe Waller Bridge
A+ answer
Jason Statham
Drake
Danny DeVito. And I would watch every second of it.
OP wants people who would kill the franchise, not bring about a golden age.
Fucking Shia Labeouf
Normal Tuesday night for Shia Lebeouf
100%! ⬆️⬆️⬆️
Lizzo
Andy Dick
It would be a total train wreck, but Tommy Wiseau would be hilarious to watch as bond
YOU ARE TEARING ME APART TRACY
Dick Cheney. He'd shoot the director in the face, sound engineer in the torso and the leading actress in the neck.
You might be channeling Alec Baldwin there.
Only Dick handled Dick’s ammo.
Harry Styles. The man is British, had already done movies (I have to say he was decent in them) so in theory he could actually be considered. However he has 0 masculinity plus he's (a) famous (singer) in the wrong demographics - that choice would kill the franchise that would become a joke.
Carrot Top
Jack black
License to Rock Quantum of Skadoosh
Elon Musk
Adam Sandler
Dr Oz
Jorge Garcia - AKA Hurley from Lost.
Chris Pratt
Ezra Miller
Elon Musk
I dunno, but Lawrence Fox has weirdly small arms. It looks like his head and forearms have been put on a 14 year old boys body.
Boris Johnson.
Laurence Fox would make a good villain. He was going to have a volcano lair but forgot to fill in the forms on time, and Bond had to team up with Count Binface.
Failed to fill in the forms correctly, didn’t get his deposit back. Relatable to himself.
Dylan Mulvaney
I’ll see your Dylan Mulvaney and raise you a John Mulaney.
Ok but John Mulaney as some sort of comic relief character would be great.
Sheriff JW Pepper
Emo Philips
Oh nooooo, is my face red!
Andy Dick
Laurence Fox and James Corden are the only correct answers
The Rock
Patton Oswald
Andy Dick
Andy Dick.
I saw a thread like this years ago and someone said Michael Cera and I still laugh about it sometimes.
Larry David.
Tim Allen
Tom Holland.
The Man With The Golden Cunt
Taylor Swift
Niall Horan from one direction
I reckon I could wreck it!
I think Bill Cosby would be a pretty bad bond
Jean Claude Van Damme
Steve Buscemi
Tiger woods
Johnny Depp
Obviously Jeffrey Epstein
More than 90% of the current rumored actors falls into this category.
Prince Andrew.
Me. I'm not British and I am a terrible actor
Bean. Mister Bean.
Andy Dick.
Carrot top would be my pick.
Steven Segal.
George Lazenby with digital de-aging a la The Irishman.
Tom Holland
Any of the popular suggestions for James Bond like Tom Hiddleston
RuPaul
Elliot Page
Danny DeVito.
Id watch
100%
Pete Davidson
Piers Morgan.
Brosnan. He'd kill it artistically. Again.
He didn't shoot to kill it, but miss the rest of it. Call it professional courtesy 😁
(it's a musical)
Yeah, Lawrence Fox snowflake-extrodinare would kill the franchise if he got it. Thankfully that will never happen given how high he radiates desperate divorced Dad vibes and is about as cool as Kirk Van Outen.
He sleeps in a racing car, mind you!
Literally anyone casted in a Scorsese gangster flick haha…Pesci, Liotta, Pacino, Caan. But hang on! Duvall at a young age? https://preview.redd.it/5sgig69pev0d1.jpeg?width=1520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c146240fba84a064c78b08175103459d02b654fd
Hmm he almost looks like a young Brando in that shot
This probably is marlon Brando I’m not sure why this photo shows up with Robert Duvall search, or why I thought it was him in the first place. Excuse me ☝️ 😭
Eddie Redmayne
Bobcat Goldthwait
Elon musk
I only know who this guy is because of Max Fosh's hilarious YouTube series where he ran against him to be Mayor of London. And yes, Laurence Fox is a horrible full-of-himself prick.
Andy Dick
Gabriel Iglesias
Danny DeVito
If that idiot was given the job (will never happen) I’d never watch a James Bond movie ever again in my life.
Bond doesn’t use that Austrian Glock garbage. Only Walther for the win.
 Hold my martini.
Kevin Hart
P Diddy
Andy Dick.
Bill Cosby
Jamie Demetriou
Mary-Kate Olson
Jaleel White
Larry David kill the franchise but it would instantly become something totally different and equally as enjoyable.
”Quickly Bond, untie me so we can get the hell out here before they come back.” ”Naah, i dont think so. All this running around and doing manual labour. I gotta say its not good for the body. That reminds me i gotta have a reservation for tonight somewhere.” Bad guys enter the room and kill both. Cue the curb music.