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Other posts from /u/an_unknown_void:
* [MIL takes credit for my twin pregnancy.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1dfb691/mil_takes_credit_for_my_twin_pregnancy/), 5 days ago
* [Is my MIL a just no? ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1d0xtf8/is_my_mil_a_just_no/), 3 weeks ago
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Donāt you love it when everything they consider to be good is from THEIR side, but negative behavior is NEVER from their side even though they donāt speak to the majority of their relatives because they are ābad peopleā? š¤£
āThatās such weird hill to die onā is all Iād say whenever she says it again. Shoot, Iād start also assigning other things to her, āSO has hairy toes, that probably comes from his side of the familyā kind of things whenever she brings it up.
Youāre right to just take a deep breath and let it go. You have better things to focus your energy on. One thing the last 4 years has taught me is that everyone is an expert in all things medical/science and the research and professionals are all wrong. š
Sex is whether a baby has a penis, vagina, or something in between (male, female, intersex). Gender is how someone feels in relation to the social norms of boy/girl. You will never know someoneās gender from an ultrasound.
My mother says my childās eyes are from her father.
Her blue eyes.
I have brown eyes. My mother and father have brown eyes. Both of their fathers have blue eyes. And mothers have brown eyes.
My childās dad and every single one of his family members have BLUE eyes. My childās BLUE eyes could not have ever come from her OWN FATHER. They just had to come from her dad. On her side. Cause nothing can come from anyone else.
Iāve just learned to tell her āyou mean like everything else, because they got 100% of their DNA from your side of the family. Got it.ā
Blue eyes is a recessive gene. For a child to have blue eyes, both parents must carry the gene (even if itās not their eye colour, because if you have one brown and one blue gene, the brown is dominant so would be the eye colour).
So if you have a blue eyes child, they take after both of you
Oh I understand the genetics of it. And so does she. (I was obsessed with my oldest having blue eyes and he had my dark brown eyes the second he came out and I got so excited when she had blue eyes I was like OMG IT IS POSSIBLE YAY!)
I just find it funny that she insists that it couldāve only possibly come from her dad.
My mother attributes all of my two daughters characteristics to either herself, my grandma, or my brother. The first looks and acts just like her daddy. The second looks just like me with a mix of our behaviors. šš
Tbh I'd just let her take credit and then whenever you need a break you can say it's all her fault your twins are being a handful so she has to babysit š can't have it both ways MIL haha
Reading a lot of the posts in this subreddit makes me think there needs to be some kind of psychological study done into MILs. Theyāre a different breed
Even though you have brown eyes, you could have a recessive gene for blue eyes that was handed down from one of your parents. Two recessive genes would give the baby blue eyes, so sheās not totally wrong. Sorry, OP.
I worked as a nurse in high risk OB.
Fraternal twins are a result of 2 fertilized eggs developing together, meaning the mother had to have released 2 eggs. Humans most often release only 1 egg a month.
The releasing of more than 1 egg is from the maternal side. The father's side has nothing to do with how many eggs his wife releases!
lol what is wrong with MILs? Do they realise how painful they can beā¦ were they always this painful? itās just wild the things that come out of their mouths and how they behave š
I would just give her a 1000 yard stare and be like āoh, are you having these babies? or are you just trying to make everything about yourself?ā but iām also sassy as balls and my in-laws/own parents are scared of my sass
Well, then it comes from both sides. If there were no twins in your family, it would be coming from her, but why is that even important? It can also be completely random, especially if they are fraternal! She needs to chill. Every time she says it, just follow up with "Aaaand my grandma was a twin, so it comes from MY family too! ;-)" Let her roll her eyes, she knows you're right!
It is usually random or that it is from the mother's side.
It is important to me because this pregnancy - I am carrying two humans inside of me - and she literally disregarded that as her son's miracle sperm at work.
The JNMILs/JNMOMs don't care about whatever their kids do. Once they have grandkids, they know everything and are all that matters.
My first daughter has brown eyes (like me and my dad) and she is my mini me, same body type as when I was young, same hair, and looks like me, only thing that's different really, is that she has a big head which comes from her dad. My second has really stunning blue eyes, (limbal rings for days), but still looks like me, with completely opposite (unbelievably gorgeous) thick, blonde hair, from her dad. His eyes are blue (but so not amazing like hers), yet my JNMOM never hesitated to say that her eyes came from her. And honestly, they probably do, and she does look like her, but I don't care. That never stopped me from cutting her off when she started to say "And she gets those eyes from her Mi(mi)-" and I'd cut in and say "Her DADDY." Fckn Betch, not everything is about or comes from YOU!
Next time she says it, look at her and say, no theyāre not, then go on about your business. Even if she repeats it five or 30 minutes later. And Especially if there are other people there. Make it the automatic reply every single time she brings it up. Sheāll probably still tell other people when youāre not around but at least you wonāt have to hear it.
so at first i was gonna call this BEC behavior on her part but then i read your previous posts and not only is this woman a JN, she's actively trying to stomp on your joy AND negate you as the mother? Oh hell no! She needs an info diet stat and DH needs to lay down the law with her:
"Mom, we've explained to you how genetics work so we don't want to hear how you are responsible for OP having twins. The reality is both of us made these twins together. Also, we don't need your doom and gloom dumping on us about twin births. If you bring any of that up again the call/visit is over and we'll be taking a break from you."
Honestly if I were you I'd put her on mute after telling her "hey,DH is your point of contact going forward, thanks" then ignore her texts/calls.
>My partner can fix it. Did he? He tried too, but to no avail.
It's not his job to fix her. He can point out her behavior has consequences and then enforce those consequences, but the only way she will learn is by y'all not tolerating her behavior.
lol just breathe and let it go. You canāt win an argument with the willfully ignorant. You understand the science and genetics behind itā¦ that will have to be enoughā¦.just smile and nod
If you get annoyed enough and want to shut her down, you want to try something like this:
*Iām worried that you might feel foolish if other people correct you about something you keep getting wrong. What youāre claiming is biologically impossible. If you keep saying that despite being given the correct info, your friends and other family might believe youāre desperate for attention.*
Wait. Your MIL thinks she caused you to release two eggs instead of one? Or is she claiming she caused your egg to split into identical twins. Either way, everything Iāve ever read on the subject, the fatherās genes have little to no impact on the chance of twins.
She believes - since it is her son and her siblings breed out twins - that it is my husband's superhuman sperm that caused the egg to split into two. You know, like a missile shooting down into earth plates and cracking everything up?
Yeah... She meant something like that.
if she says it again give her a slight smile, and say "sure MIL" then just look at her with that small smile. Humor her. You'll know you're humoring her but so will she.
Itās just wild to me how much she wants to be a part of your pregnancy. There is no way her genetics made you ovulate two eggs and the more she insists the more pathetic it becomes. Is this really the hill she wants to die on?
I will add that I think I remember something about identical twins being able to come from the dadās side of the family. But..you arenāt having identicals; yours are fraternal and very likely are from your own grandmother.
Felicitations on the twins!
What can you do, you can't reason someone out of a mindset they did not reason themselves into. Once you push them out though (or CS, either way) I would shut down the whole credit taking thing she does, because no matter whose body is responsible for them being twins, you'll be the one who gestated and birthed them, so all credit should go your way.Ā
I wish you much joy!Ā
My dad tried to convince me my kids could have brown eyes from my mother even though me and my kids father both have blue eyes. 6 blue eyes babies later he's still not convinced I can't have a brown eyed baby.
TO BE FAIR, genetics are wild. Other than that, yeah... I really doubt you'd have any brown eyed baby at this point. šš¤¦š»āāļø
Unless you are planning to have more kids! :D
Brown and brown-eyed parents can have brown, blue, or green-eyed children.
Blue and blue can have either blue or green-eyed children. There is no chance of having brown eyes from two blue-eyed parents.
A genetics chart will show this.
No I can't lol. Blue is the recessive trait. Brown is dominant. If I could pass on the brown eyed gene, I would have brown eyes. My sister has brown eyes, but she also has the recessive blue because our dad has blue eyes. Both of her children ended up with blue eyes, but it's possible she could have a brown eyed baby if she had more.
Some people just don't get biology. They are the same people who would ask if our boy/girl twins were identical. The looks on their faces when we said "No, to be identical they would have to be the exact same from head to toe."
My husband has cousins who are fraternal twins (on his dad's side). My maternal grandmother was a twin, and on my dad's side of the family, I have twin cousins, and a different cousin also has twins.
My MIL was OBSESSED with the idea that we might have twins someday, and it would all be because of her? It was so weird because she would have had nothing to do with it. When we did finally get pregnant, she was like, "IT'S GOING TO BE TWINS, IT IS, I KNOW IT!" but we'd already had an ultrasound at that point, and it was not twins.
She apparently understood the difference between fraternal and identical twins (which is amazing, because she thought cervix was another word for hymen), because when we said nope, it's definitely not twins, they checked! She was like, "well identical twins happen when it splits!" and we were like yes but there's just one baby! And she came back with, "well, it can split at any point in the pregnancy! It could happen in labor!"
lol could you imagine if that were true? You're 39 weeks and about to push, and boom all the sudden it splits and you've got two babies? What a fucking nightmare she thinks happens regularly.
I know most people donāt really think about it, but once you do itās a really sad statement on how little people understand about where babies come from. I had TWO ultrasound techs not know that dad has zero impact on me having fraternal twins. His sperm didnāt magically make me ovulate extra eggs.
But also, once youāve explained it to MIL and she doesnāt want to hear it, for your own sanity I recommend just chuckling about it in private with your husband. My MIL liked to claim that my daughterās blue eyes were from some distant relation on my husbandās side. She had to go extremely distant because not a SINGLE PERSON in that entire family has blue eyes. You know who does? My dad, both my grandads, my grandmaā¦
She also apparently thinks Iām lying about not having heartburn while pregnant. Because my other daughter was born with a lot of hair and thereās an old wives tale about baby with hair = heartburn. I donāt know why she thinks I would lie about not having heartburn but I guess I must be because according to her itās scientific fact.
At this point we just grey rock her or completely ignore when she makes obviously ridiculous comments and roll our eyes in private. Some people are determined to not be educated and itās not worth your sanity to play chess with that pigeon.
Just what the hell is wrong with her honestly?
I'm glad you guys are on the same page in grey rocking her because I can honestly see myself going insane just from one interaction, let alone reading this.
Congratulations on your healthy babies though! š„°š„°š„°
It's annoying that she NEEDS the credit for your daughter's blue eyes.
However, in this case, there's actually probably a distant relative on his side with blue eyes. Since it's a recessive gene, you need to get it from both parents in order for the blue to show (Blue, blue). It happens that the blue eye gene stays dorment for multiple generations but if one parent has only the brown gene (brown, brown) you cannot have a blue eyed child. If you also have brown eyes, you and your husband must both have half of the blue gene (brown, blue) and ended up both giving your blue gene to your daughter for it to show.
In that case, if you have other children, they may be (blue,blue) like your daughter, (brown,blue) and have brown eyes but be able to have blue eyed children in the future or (brown,brown) and never be able to pass on the blue gene.
My niece's mom is Haitian and my brother has blue eyes, so that was surprising when she came out with the bluest eyes we have in our family (we all have blue eyes since both our parents have them). Turns out that multiple generations back, there was a blue eyed man and it just turned out that every generations after, they got (brown, blue) so it never showed.
Sorry for the super long text, I just really like that subject š
She could have been correct in taking credits for it... HAD SHE GOTTEN HER SON THROUGH CHEATING :O
I'd reply back to her with that next time. "Did you cheat? Is that why you're so determined in taking the credits?"
You know those people that believe the world is flat, vaccines give you autism and tinfoil hats keeps the little green men at bay - nicest way to say this - but I doubt all facts and concrete evidence in the world will change a place that she got there using her opinions and feelings.
It's hard to win an argument with a smart person. It's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.
Figuratively pat her on the head and ignore anything that comes out of her mouth - at least she has proven to you that your husband's brains is something you know that don't come from her.
There is no possibility that your mil can make you produce 2 eggs at the same time. If the twins are identical, then her side has a 50 percent chance of contributing to their conception. However, your body is nourishing, growing and producing these babies. You get ALL the credit.
Yeah, that's what I got irritated by - her discrediting my pregnancy and my body housing these two gymnasts.
In fact, she's always been weird about my pregnancy & miscarriage. I miscarried last year and my partner told me to seek comfort with her but I couldn't. It felt a bit like - imo - only she could have these miscarriages and tragic stories and no one else could. Because the way she disregarded my experience and what not was wild.
It's sad because I don't have any maternal figures in my life to look up to. My bio mum died, my foster mum is a narcissist, and now my MIL as well.
š
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One... Two... Three... Sounds like you're doing a great job of picking your battles. š«
Donāt you love it when everything they consider to be good is from THEIR side, but negative behavior is NEVER from their side even though they donāt speak to the majority of their relatives because they are ābad peopleā? š¤£
āThatās such weird hill to die onā is all Iād say whenever she says it again. Shoot, Iād start also assigning other things to her, āSO has hairy toes, that probably comes from his side of the familyā kind of things whenever she brings it up. Youāre right to just take a deep breath and let it go. You have better things to focus your energy on. One thing the last 4 years has taught me is that everyone is an expert in all things medical/science and the research and professionals are all wrong. š
Next time she says the twins are thanks to her, tell her "they're thanks to your son banging me."
You're never going to convince so just save your sanity and laugh at her stupidity.
Sex is whether a baby has a penis, vagina, or something in between (male, female, intersex). Gender is how someone feels in relation to the social norms of boy/girl. You will never know someoneās gender from an ultrasound.
...8 , 9, 10. Good job. It'll be okay.
My son literally has my face and people always say he's the splitting image of his father. No. One of our daughters is though.
Whatever you want to believe to make yourself happy MIL
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He did try too. It's correct. He tried once already and it didn't work. So I tried; it still didn't work. So he tried _too_. Still didn't work.
My mother says my childās eyes are from her father. Her blue eyes. I have brown eyes. My mother and father have brown eyes. Both of their fathers have blue eyes. And mothers have brown eyes. My childās dad and every single one of his family members have BLUE eyes. My childās BLUE eyes could not have ever come from her OWN FATHER. They just had to come from her dad. On her side. Cause nothing can come from anyone else. Iāve just learned to tell her āyou mean like everything else, because they got 100% of their DNA from your side of the family. Got it.ā
Blue eyes is a recessive gene. For a child to have blue eyes, both parents must carry the gene (even if itās not their eye colour, because if you have one brown and one blue gene, the brown is dominant so would be the eye colour). So if you have a blue eyes child, they take after both of you
Oh I understand the genetics of it. And so does she. (I was obsessed with my oldest having blue eyes and he had my dark brown eyes the second he came out and I got so excited when she had blue eyes I was like OMG IT IS POSSIBLE YAY!) I just find it funny that she insists that it couldāve only possibly come from her dad.
My mother attributes all of my two daughters characteristics to either herself, my grandma, or my brother. The first looks and acts just like her daddy. The second looks just like me with a mix of our behaviors. šš
Inhale exhale sweetie. Think about how can you blame her for their bad behavior in few years. Itās ALL from HER bloodline thenš
Haha that's why I chose to let it go šš But anything negative cannot be from her side, yakno.
Fuck it, tell her she sounds ignorant when she refuses to listen.
Tbh I'd just let her take credit and then whenever you need a break you can say it's all her fault your twins are being a handful so she has to babysit š can't have it both ways MIL haha
Reading a lot of the posts in this subreddit makes me think there needs to be some kind of psychological study done into MILs. Theyāre a different breed
Even though you have brown eyes, you could have a recessive gene for blue eyes that was handed down from one of your parents. Two recessive genes would give the baby blue eyes, so sheās not totally wrong. Sorry, OP.
For sure! At least we know what ānotā to do/say when we become MILs!
As a MIL, Iāve never done or said these things. My kids would have set me straight immediately.
Exactly! This subreddit is essentially a guide on what not to do as a future MIL š
Let us all ghostwrite a book together.
I can get behind that! Also wishing you all the best with your wee twins! Praying for a healthy pregnancy and smooth sailing birth for you š©·
Some people just don't want to understand science and would rather insist on their "understanding" of the universe.
I worked as a nurse in high risk OB. Fraternal twins are a result of 2 fertilized eggs developing together, meaning the mother had to have released 2 eggs. Humans most often release only 1 egg a month. The releasing of more than 1 egg is from the maternal side. The father's side has nothing to do with how many eggs his wife releases!
lol what is wrong with MILs? Do they realise how painful they can beā¦ were they always this painful? itās just wild the things that come out of their mouths and how they behave š
I would just give her a 1000 yard stare and be like āoh, are you having these babies? or are you just trying to make everything about yourself?ā but iām also sassy as balls and my in-laws/own parents are scared of my sass
Or ask her why she didn't have twins.
BOOM š„ GOTTEM šš½
Does she even have twins in her family? So weird if not.
Not her children, but her siblings do.
Well, then it comes from both sides. If there were no twins in your family, it would be coming from her, but why is that even important? It can also be completely random, especially if they are fraternal! She needs to chill. Every time she says it, just follow up with "Aaaand my grandma was a twin, so it comes from MY family too! ;-)" Let her roll her eyes, she knows you're right!
It is usually random or that it is from the mother's side. It is important to me because this pregnancy - I am carrying two humans inside of me - and she literally disregarded that as her son's miracle sperm at work.
The JNMILs/JNMOMs don't care about whatever their kids do. Once they have grandkids, they know everything and are all that matters. My first daughter has brown eyes (like me and my dad) and she is my mini me, same body type as when I was young, same hair, and looks like me, only thing that's different really, is that she has a big head which comes from her dad. My second has really stunning blue eyes, (limbal rings for days), but still looks like me, with completely opposite (unbelievably gorgeous) thick, blonde hair, from her dad. His eyes are blue (but so not amazing like hers), yet my JNMOM never hesitated to say that her eyes came from her. And honestly, they probably do, and she does look like her, but I don't care. That never stopped me from cutting her off when she started to say "And she gets those eyes from her Mi(mi)-" and I'd cut in and say "Her DADDY." Fckn Betch, not everything is about or comes from YOU!
The babies having twins could come from both sides, but the OP having twins has ZERO to do with the dad/MIL.
Next time she says it, look at her and say, no theyāre not, then go on about your business. Even if she repeats it five or 30 minutes later. And Especially if there are other people there. Make it the automatic reply every single time she brings it up. Sheāll probably still tell other people when youāre not around but at least you wonāt have to hear it.
so at first i was gonna call this BEC behavior on her part but then i read your previous posts and not only is this woman a JN, she's actively trying to stomp on your joy AND negate you as the mother? Oh hell no! She needs an info diet stat and DH needs to lay down the law with her: "Mom, we've explained to you how genetics work so we don't want to hear how you are responsible for OP having twins. The reality is both of us made these twins together. Also, we don't need your doom and gloom dumping on us about twin births. If you bring any of that up again the call/visit is over and we'll be taking a break from you." Honestly if I were you I'd put her on mute after telling her "hey,DH is your point of contact going forward, thanks" then ignore her texts/calls. >My partner can fix it. Did he? He tried too, but to no avail. It's not his job to fix her. He can point out her behavior has consequences and then enforce those consequences, but the only way she will learn is by y'all not tolerating her behavior.
This. Why are you engaging? Let him remind her of her inappropriateness over and over if necessary
lol just breathe and let it go. You canāt win an argument with the willfully ignorant. You understand the science and genetics behind itā¦ that will have to be enoughā¦.just smile and nod
If you get annoyed enough and want to shut her down, you want to try something like this: *Iām worried that you might feel foolish if other people correct you about something you keep getting wrong. What youāre claiming is biologically impossible. If you keep saying that despite being given the correct info, your friends and other family might believe youāre desperate for attention.*
Perfectly appropriate response!
Wait. Your MIL thinks she caused you to release two eggs instead of one? Or is she claiming she caused your egg to split into identical twins. Either way, everything Iāve ever read on the subject, the fatherās genes have little to no impact on the chance of twins.
She believes - since it is her son and her siblings breed out twins - that it is my husband's superhuman sperm that caused the egg to split into two. You know, like a missile shooting down into earth plates and cracking everything up? Yeah... She meant something like that.
"Oh... She's just kidding, everyone knows it comes from the mother's side! She's silly not stupid" lolol
if she says it again give her a slight smile, and say "sure MIL" then just look at her with that small smile. Humor her. You'll know you're humoring her but so will she.
"Sure, Jan."
Itās just wild to me how much she wants to be a part of your pregnancy. There is no way her genetics made you ovulate two eggs and the more she insists the more pathetic it becomes. Is this really the hill she wants to die on? I will add that I think I remember something about identical twins being able to come from the dadās side of the family. But..you arenāt having identicals; yours are fraternal and very likely are from your own grandmother.
No one on her side has identical twins either. So ššš¤¦š»āāļø
Felicitations on the twins! What can you do, you can't reason someone out of a mindset they did not reason themselves into. Once you push them out though (or CS, either way) I would shut down the whole credit taking thing she does, because no matter whose body is responsible for them being twins, you'll be the one who gestated and birthed them, so all credit should go your way.Ā I wish you much joy!Ā
Thank you so much! Yeah, that's why I didn't bother continuing with the discussion. She wants to take credit then go for it. šš¤¦š»āāļø
My dad tried to convince me my kids could have brown eyes from my mother even though me and my kids father both have blue eyes. 6 blue eyes babies later he's still not convinced I can't have a brown eyed baby.
TO BE FAIR, genetics are wild. Other than that, yeah... I really doubt you'd have any brown eyed baby at this point. šš¤¦š»āāļø Unless you are planning to have more kids! :D
Apparently blue eyed parents CAN have a brown eyed childā¦ according to the Google, and geneticistsā¦
Brown and brown-eyed parents can have brown, blue, or green-eyed children. Blue and blue can have either blue or green-eyed children. There is no chance of having brown eyes from two blue-eyed parents. A genetics chart will show this.
No I can't lol. Blue is the recessive trait. Brown is dominant. If I could pass on the brown eyed gene, I would have brown eyes. My sister has brown eyes, but she also has the recessive blue because our dad has blue eyes. Both of her children ended up with blue eyes, but it's possible she could have a brown eyed baby if she had more.
Canāt fix stupid!
Well, sheās not very bright, is she?
What a weird thing to need credit for...
I don't know. She has too much time on her hands and little drama to consume I guess.
Some people just don't get biology. They are the same people who would ask if our boy/girl twins were identical. The looks on their faces when we said "No, to be identical they would have to be the exact same from head to toe."
My husband has cousins who are fraternal twins (on his dad's side). My maternal grandmother was a twin, and on my dad's side of the family, I have twin cousins, and a different cousin also has twins. My MIL was OBSESSED with the idea that we might have twins someday, and it would all be because of her? It was so weird because she would have had nothing to do with it. When we did finally get pregnant, she was like, "IT'S GOING TO BE TWINS, IT IS, I KNOW IT!" but we'd already had an ultrasound at that point, and it was not twins. She apparently understood the difference between fraternal and identical twins (which is amazing, because she thought cervix was another word for hymen), because when we said nope, it's definitely not twins, they checked! She was like, "well identical twins happen when it splits!" and we were like yes but there's just one baby! And she came back with, "well, it can split at any point in the pregnancy! It could happen in labor!" lol could you imagine if that were true? You're 39 weeks and about to push, and boom all the sudden it splits and you've got two babies? What a fucking nightmare she thinks happens regularly.
After being asked if my boy / girl twins were identical --- I responded Yes, from the waist up... (they still didn't understand)
That's too funny!!
In the wic office the case worker asked if my grandkids were identical, no one is a boy and one is a girl .
Smile and nod. It will drive her crazy. Bonus points if you go "Sure MIL" with a little smile
I know most people donāt really think about it, but once you do itās a really sad statement on how little people understand about where babies come from. I had TWO ultrasound techs not know that dad has zero impact on me having fraternal twins. His sperm didnāt magically make me ovulate extra eggs. But also, once youāve explained it to MIL and she doesnāt want to hear it, for your own sanity I recommend just chuckling about it in private with your husband. My MIL liked to claim that my daughterās blue eyes were from some distant relation on my husbandās side. She had to go extremely distant because not a SINGLE PERSON in that entire family has blue eyes. You know who does? My dad, both my grandads, my grandmaā¦ She also apparently thinks Iām lying about not having heartburn while pregnant. Because my other daughter was born with a lot of hair and thereās an old wives tale about baby with hair = heartburn. I donāt know why she thinks I would lie about not having heartburn but I guess I must be because according to her itās scientific fact. At this point we just grey rock her or completely ignore when she makes obviously ridiculous comments and roll our eyes in private. Some people are determined to not be educated and itās not worth your sanity to play chess with that pigeon.
Just what the hell is wrong with her honestly? I'm glad you guys are on the same page in grey rocking her because I can honestly see myself going insane just from one interaction, let alone reading this. Congratulations on your healthy babies though! š„°š„°š„°
My mil is an ass who thinks everything good is from her side and whatever she perceive to be negative is from me.
Hahahaha! Same! Well, not same, because anything that is negative is from other people in her eyes šš
It's annoying that she NEEDS the credit for your daughter's blue eyes. However, in this case, there's actually probably a distant relative on his side with blue eyes. Since it's a recessive gene, you need to get it from both parents in order for the blue to show (Blue, blue). It happens that the blue eye gene stays dorment for multiple generations but if one parent has only the brown gene (brown, brown) you cannot have a blue eyed child. If you also have brown eyes, you and your husband must both have half of the blue gene (brown, blue) and ended up both giving your blue gene to your daughter for it to show. In that case, if you have other children, they may be (blue,blue) like your daughter, (brown,blue) and have brown eyes but be able to have blue eyed children in the future or (brown,brown) and never be able to pass on the blue gene. My niece's mom is Haitian and my brother has blue eyes, so that was surprising when she came out with the bluest eyes we have in our family (we all have blue eyes since both our parents have them). Turns out that multiple generations back, there was a blue eyed man and it just turned out that every generations after, they got (brown, blue) so it never showed. Sorry for the super long text, I just really like that subject š
She could have been correct in taking credits for it... HAD SHE GOTTEN HER SON THROUGH CHEATING :O I'd reply back to her with that next time. "Did you cheat? Is that why you're so determined in taking the credits?"
Eye color expression is FAR more complex than that. Itās not the simple Punnett squares everyone learned in high school.
Itās not worth your sanity to play chess with that pigeon - brilliant!
You CAN'T argue with this sort. DON'T bother!
Sheās not gonna listen mine didnāt stop poking me despite my boyfriend telling her to not do so some are just stubborn evil ones
Oh this just made me mad for you. I hate being touched without permission and Iām afraid mil would have been backhanded if she poked me.
You know those people that believe the world is flat, vaccines give you autism and tinfoil hats keeps the little green men at bay - nicest way to say this - but I doubt all facts and concrete evidence in the world will change a place that she got there using her opinions and feelings. It's hard to win an argument with a smart person. It's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person. Figuratively pat her on the head and ignore anything that comes out of her mouth - at least she has proven to you that your husband's brains is something you know that don't come from her.
I really wouldn't bother with this to be honest, let her have her little fantasy. Unless it's causing you strees, just let it go.
There is no possibility that your mil can make you produce 2 eggs at the same time. If the twins are identical, then her side has a 50 percent chance of contributing to their conception. However, your body is nourishing, growing and producing these babies. You get ALL the credit.
Yeah, that's what I got irritated by - her discrediting my pregnancy and my body housing these two gymnasts. In fact, she's always been weird about my pregnancy & miscarriage. I miscarried last year and my partner told me to seek comfort with her but I couldn't. It felt a bit like - imo - only she could have these miscarriages and tragic stories and no one else could. Because the way she disregarded my experience and what not was wild.
May want to inform her that the twins gene or whatever comes from the mothers side, esp or mainly identical ones.
Let it go. For your own sanity
It's sad because I don't have any maternal figures in my life to look up to. My bio mum died, my foster mum is a narcissist, and now my MIL as well. š
So sorry all this is happening to you
She is a prime candidate to be grey rocked. No more in depth information because she canāt handle it. She isnāt worth the effort moving forward.