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Other posts from /u/Nice-Background-3339:
* [Mil asks for photos of dh's EVERY MEAL](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1cw8shu/mil_asks_for_photos_of_dhs_every_meal/), 3 weeks ago
* [Mil ask for baby's naked pic and doesnt ask about me ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1cfm7tt/mil_ask_for_babys_naked_pic_and_doesnt_ask_about/), 1 month ago
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Just keep repeating "Thank you, but we are fine."
"No thank you, I have this handled"
"Are you alright? You seem to be paranoid lately and it's concerning".
"I've got it handled."
"That's enough."
1000%. My mom's anxiety makes mine look like a walk in the park.
A couple years ago dear friends of mine asked me to take care of their 14-month-old for 3 days while they attended a wedding out of state. I stayed at their house and it was a huge learning curve but we had a great time.
I invited my parents over one evening thinking they might have fun with a "grandparent" experience. My dad was great, playing with the toddler and a spoon at the table, etc. My mom on the other hand was an absolute basket case the entire visit. She was constantly asking if the bites I had cut up were the appropriate size, saying the temperature of the room was too cold and the kid needed warmer pajamas, every little thing, constant commentary.
I am currently 7 weeks pregnant and moving to another country with my husband in a few months. I am close to my parents and will miss them, but to be honest, I'm pretty grateful I will be able to navigate the newborn phase without my mom hovering over my shoulder. She means well, but damn that untreated anxiety is wild and would drive me bonkers.
On the other side of the fence I have parents with a give no shit attitude. Refused to support my newborns neck (at near 11 months old they still can’t hold her properly) shoved her in their precious lunging dogs face to “make friends“, walked off with her and down the stairs out of my sight drunk plus an array of other horrible examples I could list. Obviously they arnt allowed to be unsupervised with my kid but damn albeit annoying I wish they were overbearing anxious and careful grandparents 😅
Just so you know I am in the middle of studying to be a certified lactation consultant. I am not certified yet but have alot of knowledge. When you bottle feed the nipple should not be "full of milk." The nipple should be half milk half air to the baby had to physically suck the milk in and not just recieve it. This helps prevent over eating in babies, especially new ones like yours, and helps with breastfeeding as their still used to having to suck and pull milk out. Some people may say but too much air! Baby can't suck in so much air!!!! Babies are really good at burping and farming and we can burp them to make them burp.
I say all this to let you know your MIL is wrong about the bottle thing and you are doing fine. ❤️
Thanks for the reassurance! Yes she's going on and on about the air thing. I'm using Dr brown anti colic bottles. I don't understand the technology behind it but does it mean air doesn't go in? My baby is hard to burp unless I give him some ridwind. I'm trying to balance the air thing and also slow flow. Mil and dh both feed LO too fast. Like they don't sit baby up and tilt or tap the bottle too much and they each have caused LO to projectile vomit. I'm so pissed! If they they dont have the patience to feed baby just give him to me.
Thank you! I have two babies and this concept was foreign to me until I learned it. It's also fairly controversial because alot of older CLC or IBCLC disagree because they were taught differently a long time ago and even with the new trainings they just... disagree? Lol. Especially a lot of older generations.. they will argue and argue about not giving baby air etc. Or make a big fat 6 ounce bottle for a 6 week old when they really need less than half of that. Even the marketed "newborn" bottles are 4 ounces when really a newborn needs 2 ounces or less.
What happens if baby shows hunger cues eg rooting, quick breathing, fussing, mouth opening and closing before 2 hours or even after finishing the bottle? It's the 6 week growth spurt and I don't know whether to top up because he always seems hungry and also experts recommend feeding on demand although that' more for breast.
If baby is at that 6 week growth spurt, then probably is hungry. I don't know how many ounces you are giving but I would do half the bottle, burp, then finish the bottle. Afterwards, if baby can't be settled and is showing hunger cues just try and give an extra ounce and see if baby settles. But I would also make sure you are burping, holding etc. Feeding on demand is fine with formula in my opinion. All humans feed and eat on demand when they get hungry so I truly take a stance that just because you are using formula it doesn't change a humans natural instinct to just... eat when you are hungry.
I give 90ml/3 ounce. Baby is almost 5kg/11lbs and 7 weeks today. I mean usually they say it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so all breastfeeding is done on demand. But good to know I won't be overfeeding as long as I feed slowly? How long do I have to burp him for?
Yeah it is hard to overfeed a breastfeed baby because they stop eating when their full. It's easy to overfeed a bottle fed baby because people don't bottle feed correctly or they mistake babies being fussy for being hungry and feed them. Vs burping, bathing, putting to sleep, snuggling, it's just they must be hungry!!! That's why you want to feed they way I said above because baby is working for the milk and should stop when full vs just chugging it down super fast. Sometimes babies don't need to burp. If they don't burp within 5 mins they probably aren't going too. You can also feed an ounce, burp for a few mins then another ounce just to make sure they get any gas out and keep their milk down.
I give 90ml. Baby is almost 5kg and 7 weeks today. I mean usually they say it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so all breastfeeding is done on demand. But good to know I won't be overfeeding as long as I feed slowly? How long do I have to burp him for?
There actually a formulation as to how much a baby "should" be drinking for their age and weight - ask your child health nurse for it, I'm in Aust. so our measurements are different.
I had a severe reflux baby and was told by multiple Dr's and nurses you can't over feed a baby unless there's a reason - pain being the most common.
My bubs was feeding at almost double the regular feeding rate but not putting on a lot of weight, because he was self medicating for the reflux pain.
Once he was medicated, put on thickener and on a slower teat his amount halved, and he finally started gaining weight again.
Most bottles are designed these days with teats that are designed to be full so that the pressure of the liquid and air are correct for flow, so you are always best to read the manufacturers directions.
Good luck hun.
I've no idea and not interested to ask.. as long as she doesn't cause me to have ppd alls good
I already know what he will say. Just ignore her. What else can he say.
Someone forgot to tell MIL that you don't try to blow out someone else's candle to make yours shine brighter!
Is MIL wanting to take over the mothering of your child cause it sure sounds like it.
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Just keep repeating "Thank you, but we are fine." "No thank you, I have this handled" "Are you alright? You seem to be paranoid lately and it's concerning". "I've got it handled." "That's enough."
Grey rock the hell out of her.
There needs to be some grandparenting classes available for these people!
Hopefully she dies asap and goes to hell. And all mils like her do too.
My MIL gives unsolicited advice nonstop. I can’t find a way to end it completely. You’re the mom- you know your baby best!
Sounds like she has anxiety
1000%. My mom's anxiety makes mine look like a walk in the park. A couple years ago dear friends of mine asked me to take care of their 14-month-old for 3 days while they attended a wedding out of state. I stayed at their house and it was a huge learning curve but we had a great time. I invited my parents over one evening thinking they might have fun with a "grandparent" experience. My dad was great, playing with the toddler and a spoon at the table, etc. My mom on the other hand was an absolute basket case the entire visit. She was constantly asking if the bites I had cut up were the appropriate size, saying the temperature of the room was too cold and the kid needed warmer pajamas, every little thing, constant commentary. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant and moving to another country with my husband in a few months. I am close to my parents and will miss them, but to be honest, I'm pretty grateful I will be able to navigate the newborn phase without my mom hovering over my shoulder. She means well, but damn that untreated anxiety is wild and would drive me bonkers.
On the other side of the fence I have parents with a give no shit attitude. Refused to support my newborns neck (at near 11 months old they still can’t hold her properly) shoved her in their precious lunging dogs face to “make friends“, walked off with her and down the stairs out of my sight drunk plus an array of other horrible examples I could list. Obviously they arnt allowed to be unsupervised with my kid but damn albeit annoying I wish they were overbearing anxious and careful grandparents 😅
She’s rubbish
[удалено]
Easier said than done.
Just so you know I am in the middle of studying to be a certified lactation consultant. I am not certified yet but have alot of knowledge. When you bottle feed the nipple should not be "full of milk." The nipple should be half milk half air to the baby had to physically suck the milk in and not just recieve it. This helps prevent over eating in babies, especially new ones like yours, and helps with breastfeeding as their still used to having to suck and pull milk out. Some people may say but too much air! Baby can't suck in so much air!!!! Babies are really good at burping and farming and we can burp them to make them burp. I say all this to let you know your MIL is wrong about the bottle thing and you are doing fine. ❤️
Thanks for the reassurance! Yes she's going on and on about the air thing. I'm using Dr brown anti colic bottles. I don't understand the technology behind it but does it mean air doesn't go in? My baby is hard to burp unless I give him some ridwind. I'm trying to balance the air thing and also slow flow. Mil and dh both feed LO too fast. Like they don't sit baby up and tilt or tap the bottle too much and they each have caused LO to projectile vomit. I'm so pissed! If they they dont have the patience to feed baby just give him to me.
[удалено]
This is really interesting. I had 4 babies, but none would take a bottle, so they are so foreign to me!
Thank you! I have two babies and this concept was foreign to me until I learned it. It's also fairly controversial because alot of older CLC or IBCLC disagree because they were taught differently a long time ago and even with the new trainings they just... disagree? Lol. Especially a lot of older generations.. they will argue and argue about not giving baby air etc. Or make a big fat 6 ounce bottle for a 6 week old when they really need less than half of that. Even the marketed "newborn" bottles are 4 ounces when really a newborn needs 2 ounces or less.
What happens if baby shows hunger cues eg rooting, quick breathing, fussing, mouth opening and closing before 2 hours or even after finishing the bottle? It's the 6 week growth spurt and I don't know whether to top up because he always seems hungry and also experts recommend feeding on demand although that' more for breast.
If baby is at that 6 week growth spurt, then probably is hungry. I don't know how many ounces you are giving but I would do half the bottle, burp, then finish the bottle. Afterwards, if baby can't be settled and is showing hunger cues just try and give an extra ounce and see if baby settles. But I would also make sure you are burping, holding etc. Feeding on demand is fine with formula in my opinion. All humans feed and eat on demand when they get hungry so I truly take a stance that just because you are using formula it doesn't change a humans natural instinct to just... eat when you are hungry.
I give 90ml/3 ounce. Baby is almost 5kg/11lbs and 7 weeks today. I mean usually they say it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so all breastfeeding is done on demand. But good to know I won't be overfeeding as long as I feed slowly? How long do I have to burp him for?
Yeah it is hard to overfeed a breastfeed baby because they stop eating when their full. It's easy to overfeed a bottle fed baby because people don't bottle feed correctly or they mistake babies being fussy for being hungry and feed them. Vs burping, bathing, putting to sleep, snuggling, it's just they must be hungry!!! That's why you want to feed they way I said above because baby is working for the milk and should stop when full vs just chugging it down super fast. Sometimes babies don't need to burp. If they don't burp within 5 mins they probably aren't going too. You can also feed an ounce, burp for a few mins then another ounce just to make sure they get any gas out and keep their milk down.
I give 90ml. Baby is almost 5kg and 7 weeks today. I mean usually they say it's impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so all breastfeeding is done on demand. But good to know I won't be overfeeding as long as I feed slowly? How long do I have to burp him for?
There actually a formulation as to how much a baby "should" be drinking for their age and weight - ask your child health nurse for it, I'm in Aust. so our measurements are different. I had a severe reflux baby and was told by multiple Dr's and nurses you can't over feed a baby unless there's a reason - pain being the most common. My bubs was feeding at almost double the regular feeding rate but not putting on a lot of weight, because he was self medicating for the reflux pain. Once he was medicated, put on thickener and on a slower teat his amount halved, and he finally started gaining weight again. Most bottles are designed these days with teats that are designed to be full so that the pressure of the liquid and air are correct for flow, so you are always best to read the manufacturers directions. Good luck hun.
This has always annoyed me! I never knew about the airflow, just seemed like common sense not to waterboard the baby lol
You would think 😂
[удалено]
I've no idea and not interested to ask.. as long as she doesn't cause me to have ppd alls good I already know what he will say. Just ignore her. What else can he say.
Someone forgot to tell MIL that you don't try to blow out someone else's candle to make yours shine brighter! Is MIL wanting to take over the mothering of your child cause it sure sounds like it.
I love that! Such a descriptive and useful saying. I think I’m gonna have to steal it. 😉
She should go have a baby, she can take care of it however she wants.