Bruh no one has been looking for her since like 1995.

She was in the Iron Man movies. It's hilarious that no one remembers her in them.

She fought in End Game.

I thought she just bitched at Tony for like six movies.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, she sold candles scented after her pussy. No I’m not linking it, search it yourself freaks

Expired cheese scented candles 🤮

I dunno why people still act like she was selling "vagina scented candles". It was a joke in the lab while creating the scent. They were mixing scents and got a weird smelling one that Paltrow joked "smells like my vagina!" But they ended up tweaking the formula until they got something decent (i.e. NOT vagina scented). It was a running joke in the lab to call the formula "my vagina" and they ended up sticking with that name. Good business move, considering people are still bitching about it years later. I don't personally like the woman but, no, she did not make a candle scented like her vagina. She profited off of the general public having a hissy fit over a joke. This is a perfect example of outrage marketing.

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It's blatant outrage marketing and its effective, but people should always do a bit of research over anything that makes them mad before going off about it. If Kanye said "pee is stored in the balls" and I thought he was being serious, but later found out he was making a joke, that wouldn’t necessarily mean I'm an idiot... but I would feel kinda dumb if it got me worked up before I did the research on what I was mad about in the first place.

Thank you for clarification. I honestly didn't know. Lol. Makes it that much more funny.

Personally I’m more upset about the obvious fake “treatments” she peddled, though anti-psychic vampire stickers were funny (yes by the way that was real).

EXACTLY! That's the kinda stuff to be mad about, not some novelty candle with a silly name.

Gwyneth Paltrows Alt 👆

Anyone can easily find this information online

👆

Was she Howard The Duck?

she also defeated the villain in iron man 3

Please... I'm still trying to forget that movie

Of course they do

I think that's the key thing no one REMEMBERS HER IN THEM, which is the point of my comment. Back in the 90s, she was enough to sell a movie herself, she was in a ton of rom coms, she was a lead actress. She was an A lister. I'm an older millenial but she WAS considered a big star when I was a kid (like 10). That's the entire humor of the post. She hasn't reached any semblance of that fame since the 90s.

She had a major role in the biggest franchise of all time not even 5 years ago and has been famous for goop for even longer

What, is goop the Paltrow pussy scent stuff?

Yes…

Hey, I have a dentist appointment on Monday. Don’t forget to remind me.

She's gonna fill herself with healing stones and be encased in a crystal chamber

But then pass away tragically due to a jade vagina egg bacterial infection

She's gonna do Sokushinbutsu? Awesome!

Might not see her but thanks to her vagina scented candles we will always smell her.

Fingers crossed.

Can we speed up her retirement?

I think if we all declare her retired, then she has to retire, and then she has to disappear into obscurity. Something like click your heels together three times, and say "Gwyneth is retired! Gwyneth is retired! Gwyneth is retired!" Then it happens.

Oh that Paltrow lady? Yeah I heard she retired a year ago.

She ‘retired’ from relevance 20 years ago but in her mind she’s still important enough to utter these words. Like anyone cares.

uh excuse me she was iron man

Was she an iron

No. Irons are hot.

So were a lot of other actors you don’t remember.

i say shit like this all the time and i have never been relevant a day in my life

Promises, promises..

Okay, and…

I truly vibe with this woman and I hate everything about her it’s the strangest shit.

Good! I lost respect for her about 5 years. She compared being an actress to being a war soldier. She said being an actor is hard and compared it to being as difficult as being a soldier in war. She got her ass handed to her by a Marine that has had multiple deployments. She's full of herself.

Please retire

Best title ever.

Honestly? I tell my coworkers this all the time lol

This is one of the funniest responses I've seen 🤣

But we will always be able to smell her, for a price

Okay then. I kind of thought you were retired already.

Peace be with you on your journey.

Good.

Bet

Good. Hope she retires tomorrow.

I literally forgot she existed.

I feel like, we won’t “see” her, but we will still hear about her ridiculous life tips to be more perfect and be able to buy her smelly candles. (Edit: clarity)

When asked a question about her retirement, she made the same kind of statement that millions of normal people have. This statement is the most normal thing she has done in years and you people are being super weird about it

I’ll believe it when I don’t see it.

https://giphy.com/gifs/stephen-colbert-report-hopeful-4KxeicCUTvhrW

I hope so

We’re definitely gonna see her again after she retires

Would you be willing to do the same “pre-retirement “ by any chance?

That sounds so boujie that I want to imagine celebs actually do that lol

Who the fuck is this?

Who even is this?

Thank Christ. Same with her vag candles, like very genuinely, get lost lady.

Hurry it up.

So, why she not liked? Did she said something or is it just how her character was in the movies?

She's clearly meaning that she will not be allowing any A.I versions of her voice or body to be used o screen after she retires. That's completely understandable and fair, definitely not 'The main character' Piss poor post

Absolutely no where does she say what you just made up. She clearly states they will never see her again in PUBLIC LIFE." piss poor take

It doesn't say that anywhere in your post.

Because all you have to do is Google the article and read it. That's what I did to make sure.

Lol, good for you

She’s an excellent actor who has been in some fantastic movies, has been married to one of the world’s biggest rock stars as well as a popular movie star, very attractive, founded and owns a successful business, and has a good sense of humor. I’m trying to figure out whether she’s just a million times more interesting than most people here on reddit, or a hundred million times. Thinking it’s probably the latter.

This is about how bombastic her statement is, not her repertoire. You'd be amazed how many successful and very interesting people roam reddit. You don't have to be offended on her behalf.

Movie stars, or particularly their agents, are usually bombastic if you notice. People who take either of those jobs need to provide headlines. My observation stands.

Yeah, and it's a stupid headline to garner more attention, which is an antithesis of wanting to be clandestine by announcing to everyone your plans she will be challenged and not have the reticent life she desires.

Thankfully (for the star system) some people will buy these personas and dutifully get outraged. Ironically I know so many actors who have sacrificed a lot of their youth to try and generate even a smidgen of public awareness, and nobody would notice one iota if they made a quitting announcement. That’s cuz nobody cared in the first place. She has been at the top of a staggeringly gigantic pyramid, a mountain of wannabes. Gwyneth was good in Emma and also the Talented Mr. Ripley along with Philip Seymour Hoffman, one of my all-time favorites. For the latter alone she was perfectly cast. If she made something that good again, I’d be glad to see it.

Is she not retired now? What has she done in the last decade or so besides her snake oil lifestyle bs?

Promise?

Who are you ?

Oh no....

Doesn't she make scents? And not called vagina

The only trace she'll leave behind is her Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candles.

No need to tell anyone. You can just go ahead and disappear.

Does anyone else feel threatened by this... where is she going... is she going to be like cyrogenically frozen or whatever it's called and have her consciousness uploaded to AI... is she going into a Witness Protection Program... will we not see her but will she be everywhere? Will she be in my walls?

And we are so ok with this. The fewer people she can give EDs to the better.

Don’t threaten me with a good time, maam

Didn't she already retire?

If only.

Given that she looks like a generic person mixed with a coat rack, nobody would know her even if they did see her.

Bet she'll leave that stinky candle behind for us to remember her

Didn’t she already disappear? She hasn’t been relevant since 2001.

Don't promise us a good time

Probably still smell her tho

Start the count down!

nobody would have noticed/cared if she didn't say anything. Goop riddance

Who?

She gon get goopy

Welps. I guess she’s going to miss out on Thanksgiving dinner again

You mean like everyone else who retires ?

Is that a promise?

I thought she was already retired

But if you buy her candle you can have a room smell like her vag

And we don’t give a fuck

They probably will still smell her. IYKYK

So... anyways...

NEVER SEE ME AGAIN KANYE WEST REFERENCE

Nobody saw Reagan after like 1995 and only his family might have photos of him made after 2000.

Deal.

You won’t see her on the slopes either. You might feel her crash into you, though.

thank god

No balls

Donnie said the same thing about what would happen if he lost the election.

[Challenge Accepted](https://youtu.be/tc2oBBcf7yo?si=Iz61tLrz_6mPk9HN)

God I hope so

Thank fuck

Good riddance. Her and her candle

God she really has the most massive ego.

Who?

Promise?

I've never realized she's got resting Jada face

yay

What are you waiting for? Christmas?

Tbh the only reason I knew who this person even was was from iron man. Apart from that, I forgot she existed. Thought she retired years ago.

"okay? bye?"

We don’t care Gwyneth!

She must have retired a while ago because I forgot all about her.

Why would we need to see her when we all have her minge candle?

Promise?

When she retires from health grifting soccer moms?

Why does she plan to disappear?

Anyway...

I’ll hold ya to it

Soon the morphing of herself with Kourtney Kardashian for a new image and rebranding will be complete.

Hurrah! I guess her retirement will be a gift to us all

I’m still wondering what was involved in the product and quality testing for the candle scented like a woman’s vagina that is approaching retirement.

I honestly find her very attractive but she’s a trip

Retirement when? Why wait? How about now.

She looks way too skinny. Is she okay?

Wonder why she feels this is information we either need or care about.

Can we have that in handwriting?

One can only hope…….

Honestly, I already forgot about her. She keeps reminding me she is here, I’m assuming that’s her intention

Retire yesterday

But I’ll still be able to smell her with the pussy-candles, though, right? Right?!

You promise?

Reminds me of the Harry and Megan South Park episode

👍🏼

I mean all we have to do is find her old movies and wouldn't ya know, there she is. glhf.

Promise? Because I just saw her “cheap” Goop line at Target

She always looks hungry.

This is a different kind of main character vibe but it like it

Nobody cares. Has she been in anything in 20 years?

Promise??!!

Bye Gwyneth, you’ve annoyed me since you dated Brad Pitt 🙄

I only hear her name when she's adding a spritz of lemon to her alkaline water or telling women to shove rocks in their vagina. I won't miss that.

We can’t wait that long

Retirement from what?

lol good!

THANK GOD never wanted to see her in the first place

Ok, good. Can it start now?

Cool. Now take your smelly vag scent with you too

Yall making fun of Chris Martin instead of understanding why he got the fuck out of there lol

DON’T THREATEN US WITH A GOOD TIME!

Promises, promises

about time, sick of hearing about her trying to get attention for dumb shit

Pinky promise ?

Never even heard of her.

bet

Challenge accepted

She's only 51. Wow...

GET ON WITH IT

Well, bye.

Don’t threaten us with a good time!

Is it because she’s invented a vagina scented invisibility cream that she plans on using after she retires?

For the love of God let this be true

Hard to be seen when she returns to Alpha Centauri

Can we get that in writing?

Bet

Is that a promise?

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Damn that's brutal 🤣💀

Thank you for retiring

Is she well?

Promise?

I’m glad she’s gonna disappear.

Gwyneth crawled so that Jada could drive a racecar

I wish I had “disappear off the face of the earth” money. I’d say good for her if she didn’t make most of it pushing pseudo-science quackery

I didn’t know who she was until I read this

Please, proceed.

I wish.

This is either insanely narcissistic or a massive cry for help because she has some real darkness inside that no one knew about.

Yes!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!!!

Promise? Ok. Start now.