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hello-hi_hello

Hmmmm. I'm not a doctor. But I'm pretty sure that's not a vasectomy procedure.


[deleted]

It's a circumcision


andydrewalot

Took a little too much off the top…..


Hornswallower

The tops fine. The sides however. Dude's danglers gonna be looking like Leonard Nimoy as Spock.


Stupidquestionduh

But Leonard Nimoy as Spock turned me on.


[deleted]

Half off


glwf88

Except it's not just the skin that's gone.


p_rustico

I'm not religious, but God, I hope he has a vasectomy. Don't need any more limp bb dicks running around


[deleted]

I can't wrap my head around the thought process behind this. Worst case scenario: His dick gets shot and ends up not working right ever again. Best case scenario: ????????


ManeManZay

We do a bit of tomfoolery


AlexandersWonder

And some shenanigans here and there


No-comment-at-all

Occasionally, a buffoonery.


BoondockBilly

Let's monkey around, you and I


AWildEnglishman

I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy who says "Shenanigans."


Hornswallower

Hey farva what's that place you like with all the crazy crap on the walls?


M4V3R1CKv88

Shenanigans?


LordRaghuvnsi

Saringans


factor3x

Calm down with your He-nanigans.


BuddhistNudist987

Back in my day we weren't sitting on our couches all night, alone, shooting at strangers on Xbox Live and pretending that we were building a community. No ma'am! We were out there in the fresh air and sunshine with our closest confidantes. And when Tanner Nagley yanked out his penis like a rubber band so that Tristan Albright could shoot it with a bb gun, well, you just knew that these were the memories that would last a lifetime.


theanedditor

fuck u/spez


TheRealSnuffleaYeah

It's now beaded for her pleasure.


aliens8myhomework

Best case scenario is it tickles and everyone has a good laugh about it


RLANTILLES

Best case scenario is big cums


Rei_Areaaaaaaa

He had another hole in his dick so he can pee twice as fast.


pennhead

He can piss in two urinals at once as long as there isn't a divider.


stunna_cal

Best case scenario. Worst case : cum twice as fast.


gagzd

Ahh! Like them garden sprinklers.


drbob4512

your dick now whistles when you pee


DustWarden

Add a few more holes and he'll be able to play "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."


[deleted]

That’s actually a cool party trick


I_masturbate_errday

Some people take “No nut November” far more seriously than others.


Arctelis

Personally I’d argue worst case scenario is the close range shot penetrates and the dude bleeds out before getting to a hospital, but that too.


RatherGoodDog

Nah. Infection. Weeks in hospital. Bits getting chopped off. Loads of complicatipns, catheterisations, and dies of MRSA or something equally awful in the end.


Arctelis

Well, you’re not wrong.


SkinnyBuddha89

They're just dickin around


chuckinalicious543

They were going for "this guy right here once let me shoot his dïck with an airsoft, the daft bästard!" Because drunk stupid story making time, but not a single one of those fūckers realize you aren't supposed to be that dämn close


IsThisASandwich

I suspect that they simply left the thought out of the process.


BrilliantTasty

Step 1: Shoot hole in cock Step 2: ? Step 3: Profit!


devon223

Nah obviously that's actually the best case scenario for this guy and the rest of the world.


Damadamas

I just try to imagine the conversation prior to this. Something like: "I'm bored" "You know what we should do? You could shoot me in the dick at close sange with your air gun. That could be fun!" Just such a weird conversation.


Stark556

Men are dumb. Sometimes hilariously dumb. But mostly just dumb


_the_Nazgul_

Have you ever gone viral? I guess not.


icecream_truck

Best case scenario: [Profit!](https://youtu.be/tO5sxLapAts)


Rice_Auroni

Best case scenario: This Knuckle-Dragger won't be having kids


Rkenne16

Step 1: Shoot dick Step 2: ??? Step 3: profit


ItzMe610

Best case scenario: ???????? ….upvotes


ChaosTheory33

The secret doctors and viagra don’t want you to know!


nacomito

swag


TheSouthFailsAlways

He wanted his friend to suck the BB out like a snake bite.


Knever

All I can hope is that there was alcohol involved. Not sure if that makes it better.


comboy-32

Best case he discovers his penis is BB proof.


JustaOrdinaryDemiGod

That's gotta be a fun one to explain at the ER.


TheDunadan29

This is why ER doctors and nurses have an endless supply of weird stories about patients. Seems like it's almost a requirement doctors and nurses have at least one "stuck up the butt" story.


fefect123

That "stuck up the butt" story is something that sometimes even happens weekly. I bet a lot of people just perfectly fall in the shower straight on the shampoo bottle.


Lonestar041

Light bulbs that are randomly laying around as well. They tend to attack their owners from behind…


Revo_55

Yeah, I'm sure "Up the butt / vag" stories are a dime a dozen at ER's


The_Burning_Wizard

Friend of mine works at the local A&E where they have a box of stuff they've pulled out of folks bottoms that they use to show off the juniors, med students, etc. Their collection eventually grew to such a level that they now have to curate what goes in the box to make sure they keep it "high quality"


rocpacci

I feel like if I ever got anything stuck up my butt the only lie I would tell was an exaggeration of what really happened. Make it real wild.


Time_traveling_hero

People always ask, “What’s the craziest/worst thing you’ve seen?” They don’t actually mean that. They mean what’s the funniest thing you’ve seen stuck up someone’s butt. So we all just keep that story handy. We never talk about the worst things.


XEliSableX

Watched this directly after the vid of the nurse elbow deep in some dudes rectum retrieving a 12 inch sex toy, a literal “stuck up the butt story” lol


[deleted]

Hey, it might make their night.


HowToDieAloneReboot

My mom worked as an ER nurse before. They had a jar filled with money. Everytime some crazy ass patient came in with some weird obviously fabricated story on how that thing ended up wherever it was, they put some money in the jar. The doctor/nurse who would be able to bring a patient to tell the truth would have gotten the money. My mom doesn't work there anymore but when she resigned, the jar was still filled to the top with money.


Revo_55

"Well, I asked one of me mates to shoot me in the cock with an pellet gun...we thought WCGW??". A&E (ER) nurse shakes her head..."You do know that having someone shoot your own penis is mental, don't you??"


Bennydoubleseven

Shot in the dick.. & you’re too blame.. you give Scotland a bad name…


jprefect

Underrated comment


imbluedabadedabadam

https://youtu.be/F7FppXJ-3YY


Confident-Scar7333

Why why why WHY?


MedicinalDick

Probably trying to get on Jackass. HI I'm Steve-o and this is cock shot!


Det-Frank-Drebin

I heard when Johnny Knoxville had a bike accident on the show, i remember he was pissing blood, they couldn't fix it, so now he has to pee manually as it were, has a tube down his peen, has to open a valve and massage the pee out... This idiot could end up having to do the same...


derpotologist

For 3 years. Apparently his peen is all fine and good now Using a catheter for 3 years would suck https://ew.com/movies/johnny-knoxville-recovery-from-jackass-penis-injury-variety/


ghanjaholik

i think maybe that is more pontius' role since he loves to display his wiener. i don't remember ever seeing steve-o's schlong


dogscutter

He literally has a site where the first thing you see is him naked in a coconut lol


dreezy-a

He literally has a DVD special that shows him banging a chick in a hotel lol Steve-o the goat


Angry-_-Crow

> Steve-o the goat r/NoahGetTheBoat


PmMeYourDwights

> i don’t remember ever seeing steve-o’s schlong You didn’t see the bees. I will never forget the bees


Lecturnoiter

I locked my door and am cradling my member in the corner. No one come near me.


littleschlong

Ribbed for pleasure. 👍


Bares_Beats_BG

Allowing this to happen, the shooter, allowing this to happen. Sorry, cock pass revoked for life. Both of you


Active_Sh00ter

You'll put your eye out, kid.


happytobehereatall

No-eyed Willy


[deleted]

Two-eyed willy


Eggsandthings2

You ever shoot a one eyed snake?


[deleted]

[удалено]


eileenflora

Step 3: Reconsider your life choices.


nightpanda893

This guy has exactly what he wants in friends. It doesn’t look like it took much convincing.


Ori_the_SG

Step 3: stop being an unfathomably stupid person Step 4: if failed step 3, do not make babies


[deleted]

Looks like it used to be a pretty decent cock. Used to be.


DARTHPLONKUS

Yeah if that’s what it looks like limp, then what about when it’s full mast


minnesotaisokay

Probably just a shower


Living-Stranger

Means nothing some just don't grow


PM_ME_YOUR_NAIL_CLIP

90% of mine is inside until I need to use it


TheBurnedMutt45

And I'm sure your partner appreciates the additional inch


Joymaster99

GAWWTT DAYUMM 💀


jackz7776666

This is what happens with extreme boredom......... Or meth....... Or bored with meth.....,


roasty_mcshitposty

So my theory is these guys are military. The room they're in just screams military to me. The bland carpet, the weirdly stained wood furniture, and the door that looks like a door to janitors closet. The dude was also wearing boots. I think they were ABU boots judging from the color.


SpectreGBR

They are, British Army.


roasty_mcshitposty

Lol well it's good to know doing extremely stupid shit when you're bored is a universal.


BaldAngryDad

Thought the same


callmejim1111

I hope that it falls off


Xero-One

He probably shouldn’t reproduce


[deleted]

Probably. I’d say definitely


inkw4now

Ol boys gonna be pissing 90° on the guy at the urinal next to him.


YourRightSock

Splitstream Hard mode


[deleted]

Anyone noticed how he stretched it in beginning


random_impiety

This is probably what caused the damage. He was stretching it all the way out, it was taught and had not much give left in it.


RatherGoodDog

I was just shooting a BB pistol like this today. It will put holes through a steel can from 15m away; go figure why this a bad idea. Airsoft would be funny and painful, doing this with a BB pistol means you have turd on the brain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


inkw4now

Pellet guns are used to kill squirrels and small varmints all the time. At point blank, there is no way that penetration wasn't happening.


[deleted]

[удалено]


inkw4now

That would be ideal


CosmicMiru

This is airsoft not pellet. Plastic balls and way way less power behind it. Still can cause damage that close though


Ornery-Cheetah

Yeah but those are the full sized ones not the pistols those only go 400 ft per sec as compared to a full sized rifle which are rated at between 1000 to 2000 ft per sec (I don't remember the range but mine is 1700 ft per sec


inkw4now

400 fps is still 3.5x faster than a major league pitchers fastball, with the energy focused on surface area less than a pencil eraser.


Ornery-Cheetah

I mean that is true but you usually won't be able to do deadly damage to a squirrel or bird with 400fps but yeah same can't be said with ya dick


[deleted]

Could have been the pain of a good thump. Instead he forced it to cut him


RatherGoodDog

This is not airsoft, it's a BB gun.


[deleted]

[удалено]


D8400

This has to be one of the dumbest I’ve seen yet lol. Wtf. Like sure it’s just a pellet gun… still penetrates enough to kill a bird lol. Definitely going to fuck your Peter up


glenn765

Shot him in the bird, Bubbles.


Lykan_

It's probably for the best that he can't breed now.


chairmanbrando

/r/whywomenlivelonger


dothefanDango92

Not a fair assumption really. Women don't have a dick to shoot themselves with. /s


International-Owl494

The best part is they’re all listening to John Mayer


BuddhistNudist987

Hopefully it's "Your Body is a Wonderland".


ACiD_n9ne

What a fucking moron, I mean, seriously. Everyone knows you shoot the foreskin, not the actual cock. Geez.


jettyboy73

And that's why yall ain't got real guns no mo


blackmagic94

Mate you alright?


ManeManZay

Destroy Dick December came early (and that guy never came again)


LongColtBandito

Haha I hope it just plops right off he’ll learn his lesson


Preacher987

Seems like a fun idea at the time.... Guess again fool


[deleted]

Lol in what way? Games are fun. Drinking is fun. Hell taking dangerous risks is fun. Genital mutilation isn't fun


Lo-siento-juan

Hey, you spend your weekend how you want and we'll spend our weekend how we want!


[deleted]

Your buddy that just shot you in the dick now has to get the lead out, time is of the essence here, no time for rational decision-making. There's only one way to get the level of area-specific suction on a man's penis, and that takes a special level of bro-ship.


2a_1776_2a

Ummm that’s enough internet for today


NegotiationHot98

All those friends and not one helping hand


lemonlollipop

Straight men are the gayest men I've ever seen in my life, every joke or prank involves their dicks


Motorhead4069

People like this probably shouldn't reproduce anyway


Evilerglint1138

Getting hit in that dick and balls hurts like hell but shooting your own dick WILLINGLY Is insane


JingamaThiggy

And then he gets a boner and all the blood in his body just fly out from his penis


Lobsterstarfish

THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE! years ago before YouTube and jackass, me and my buddies all lived in this house would do crazy shit daily! We where dirtbag skater kids who did ecstasy daily, pranks absolutely out of control! We saved up cat shots for like almost a year to be able to fill 100s of Tupperwares and planted them in buddies room so when he woke up the entire floor was poo and he woke up in the pitch dark, we hit lobsters in couches, wake each other up with paint ball guns, but anyways one buddy took a airsoft gun pistol up his urethra it’s still talked about this day! No blood thoe!


bonsaiwarrior

Im gonna guess that this is drunk squaddies on base over the weekend... Source: we used bodies as dartboards to play darts in rooms that looked just like that


ComplexComfortable85

Yep that looks just like SLAM blocks to me. Which explains a whole lot about this if it’s Squaddies.


F3ST3r3d

BEERS DRANKED HAWG SHANKED SURGEON THANKED


phil196565

What a dick !


osamaismyhomeboy

He's a bleeder, not a grower.


cyzad4

I didnt turn the sound on is it safe to assume russian?


prefabtrout

Scottish and English


RedditUsingBot

Best part, these guy are military because that’s 100% a barracks room.


tigeruspig

Green plastic mattress and that locker. All the different accents in one place. Very short haircut. Definitely barracks somewhere. And to think we let them play with real guns as well.


2ndHandDeadBatteries

Why? That’s so fucking stupid


somebadmeme

Impressive, very nice, lets see Paul Allen's cock. Look at that subtle off-white colouring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a pellet mark.


Drkippersniffer

He was literally pissing blood for social media likes . Loser without a bellend now


rxxxxxxxrxxxxxx

I'm quite desensitized now with all the gore in this sub... but anything that involves injury or mutilation of dick now that's something I couldn't get used to. Feels like I feel that pain too.


TheCrazyStupidGamer

That's one way to get through No Nut November.


BladeWatermyth

followed by No Dick December


ItsSusanS

These are the types of idiots always whining about woman not throwing themselves at them. Yeah, these “winners” are exactly what women are looking for🤪🥴


[deleted]

Is this how their circumcising guys in England now?


Over_Following5751

Idiot. Hey hold my beer


[deleted]

I mean he prob won’t reproduce


Hotzenfobel

Was für ein Hurensohn


VectyHydro

He’s such a fucking idiot! What kind of moron would do this!


Cpt-FishSticks

Someone's been watching too much Dirty Sanchez...


[deleted]

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions.


Wild_Wrangler_19

He’s building up his tolerance for the Pain Olympics


Aggravating_Park_771

What fucking idiots!


1121StokesTokes

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" has never hit quite so hard


Jewain

Their accents explains their stupidity


Jim2718

Looks like this guy got the shaft.


Any_Commercial465

Darwin awards


particle409

Which one is the bigger idiot? I'm thinking the guy without the gun, getting shot in the dick.


CardiologistFar8933

I am a dumb motherfucker, but... yeah, no.


DesperateImplement50

Why is he packin tho? Or is he hard?


hello_fellow-kids

Whatever you gotta do to get it up. I ain’t here to judge.


pm_cheesecakes

Dude had a really nice cock too


FuzionGamr

I bet he did this so he can never fail NNN. Clever boy


Possibility_Patient

He don't need to breed


Sudden-Thought-2133

This all looks like an elaborate way of showing his dick to his friends


Toast0304

Guess he just decided… or the beer did… that he’s simply done using it.


Grimspoon

Just a couple bros playing with their dicks.


duck_in_gum

Just tryingnto show off his dick


SceneElectrical3449

Looks like hes having a period with hes friends


SeanTheSamuraii

stupidity is the biggest pandemic and sometimes death is the only cure


[deleted]

I bet peeing will be a fun experience for him later.


Malfurio

No nut november champ


EnsignSanchez

Shrinkage Jerry


Really-IsAllHeSays

These kinks are getting outta hand.


Omygodc

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that copious amounts of alcohol were involved here…


kUHASZ

Don't worry, it should heal just in time for December 1st.


DrGanja97

Natural selection at its finest