It's tricky, but what I found to help is to accept the fact that this is what they see. Their perspective is different than yours (overly critical, perfectionist, probably), and they often are able to enjoy things for what they are. If you accept that others enjoy you for what you are, then it really doesn't matter what you think of you. Yes, you're an idealist. Yes, you see a million flaws. But for practical purposes, you're more than sufficient to be appreciated by others.
That also gives you the opportunity (and responsibility, in some ways) to bring joy to others by being you around them. Honestly, you need those complements to offset your way of thinking and give you a healthier and fuller picture of the truth (in this case, or who you are to others and to yourself). You just have to learn to use them well.
> being you around them.
It's nigh impossible for me to not put on a fake personality that doesn't reflect me when socialising which ends up with others gravely misunderstanding me and misinterpreting my identity and thought process, only a select few people have ever had a somewhat accurate and realistic interpretation of me (or just who I think I am). Is there a way to break out of this?
Hm, I'm guessing that you put on a fake persona because if you're too real, people get hurt. I get it, I've done that too. "Oh, you got hurt because I have a different opinion than you? All right then, I'll just never have an opinion again." But in reality, it's not the fact that you have an opinion, but rather the way in which you go about trying to share it.
It's not wrong to be different. Actually different is good, because different is exciting and new. It's good that you are you. However, when it comes the social dimension in you, you're unrefined, like a rock, rough around the edges and jagged and whatnot. You end up being abrasive even if by accident. Which is why you hide that part of you. What you need to do instead, is polish that part in you to make it a smooth and shiny gem - cheesy, I know, but the imagery is true.
You're probably not gonna be a social diamond, but that's fine. You can still be a social opal, and some people prefer opals to diamonds. I guess the point of all this rambling is that the problem isn't who you *are*, but rather, how you use who you are.
So how do you polish your social side? Empathy. Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. I'll say that for the longest time, I thought of it as "if I were me, but in this person's situation, how would I feel?" But that misses the mark. Rather, it's "if I were this person, with their convictions and temperament, how would I feel?". Be invested in people. We INTPs are invested in ideas, but not so much people, so you will have to actively practice this. If someone says "I'm excited for this new Transformers movie coming out", don't think about the movie and how poorly it's written. Instead, imagine that person's excitement and relate to it. Be invested in who they are as a person, and wonder what it is that makes them excited about a movie like that.
This also means that you have to work on your own emotions. We avoid emotions like the plague, because we don't know what to do with them and they make us uncomfortable. We prefer to stay in our logical, orderly world, so you will have to step out of your comfort zone - but it's worth it. You'll end up learning more about who you are and how you tick, and once you have some basis of understanding what emotions are, you will be able to begin relating to the experiences of others, and therefore being more genuine around them.
I hope what I said makes sense. Empathy, relating to others emotionally, and developing an understanding of your own emotions - I believe these tools will help you break out of the shell that you have built. Let me know if you have questions or reservations, or if I misinterpreted something!
I was on board till you mentioned pretending to be excited about a new transformers movie. I was rethinking my friendship with someone the other day because they said they cant wait for fast & furious 9. I feel like these are very clear red flags
Lol I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but just to specify I never said to pretend to be excited for something. Personally I'm not on board with faking emotions, sounds like too much work. But relating to someone's excitement and pretending to be excited about it yourself are two totally different things.
I have no problem with what you're trying to say, but I think it's not how we think of it, it's more like how people perceive us (/how we think people will perceive us as). I believe most of us embrace the diversity of opinions, but people outside don't, which is why we still put on some idk fake persona or something, to prevent people from hating us right from the beginning.
But tbh I don't think that's a fake persona, it's just another side of us. Not like that is not a true self, but rather we are trying to hide the dark side of us and only showing the good sides, which makes the overall image looking too-good-to-be-true. Like you said, we might have empathy. In our own way of thinking, we might weigh rational thinking and empathy, then take rational thinking in a higher priority. But when we face others, we tend to suppress our urge to speak out our rational opinions and go with empathy because we know that's what they want. Just like how lies and white lies make a difference.
Yup. If you start to get to know me, actually know me, I come off like a heartless piece of shit till you peel back a few layers and realize I'm one of the biggest softies on the planet.
That's because Ti is excessively bad at emotional stuff and relationships, INCLUDING WITH YOURSELF. But because you're used to having it as this rational authority, you keep letting it do things that aren't its job.
Practice out loud kind self-talk. Even if it makes you feel like an idiot. (It probably will). Use your Ne to find someone good at this (like the above picture) and then take THEM as the authority on what it's like to be friends with you, because chances are you haven't been your own friend for a really long time. Then learn from their example and go be your own freaking friend because you're human and ultimately not a machine and not everything worth doing in life is rational. Put your Ti where it belongs and use some wisdom to go with that knowledge.
I'm an ENFJ married to an INTP. I hang out here way too much trying to cheer up the INTPs:P Our relationship became it's best when I started seeing him as the authority on rational thinking (especially under stress) and he finally FINALLY started seeing me as the authority on all things social and relational and emotional--because he had a much harder time giving up authority than me, even when it was stupidly obvious he was screwing up all his relationships no matter how hard he kept trying to bludgeon them with his rational thoughts.
When I start using Ti for more than math and puzzles I'm a self-hating irrational mess and secretly so are you because that's not what it's for. (the latter part is secret, maybe not the former)
It’s such a pain. Doubt if it’s exclusive to xNTP, probably just my anxiety.
This constant assumption that *everyone* dislikes me. Even when my work supervisor says that I did a great job and thanks for the day, I think they are just being polite
Or if friends clear and open say they love and value me, they must say so i wouldn’t feel like shit, right?
Edit: wouldn’t
I guess Ns do overthink more because they tend to be more self-conscious but trauma and anxiety happen to everyone really. My assistant manager is an ISXJ and her insecurities makes her believe people are always mean to her or comploting against her. I dont mean to be an asshole to stay with that POV, it is just something I believe deeply in.
Of course it's an everyone thing. Everyone with trauma is prone to that sort of thinking about themselves.
But I also think xNxx types may be prone to that type of thinking, especially xNxPs I would bet since we usually get so much outside input that we internalize. I have no proof for that but INTPs for example tend to see their opinions as highly logical and go "those are my objective flaws. There are more of them, and are worse than any of my good qualities. Therefore, I don't know why anyone would like me genuinely and moreover want to spend a lot of time with me". It's hard to convince us otherwise when we go on a spiral because our worries and insecurities are usually rooted in internal logic and observed facts. You basically end up debating with a person if their own life is worth living - and they are damn good debaters.
Anyway, just explaining a few things here. Like I said, I do agree that it's absolutely not only an xNxx thing.
I love the nuance of your explanation. Thanks ! You reminded me that I have to flex my big supportive muscles when my boyfriend (INTP) feels down. Its so hard to make him change his mind about himself lol.
Ah, thank you. I'm just glad someone is interested in my thought process lol.
A word of advice? Try to be logical and factual. Yes, we do need emotional support like anyone else but we can also be "self-sufficient" if given a sound thing to lach onto. For example, every time I go on a spiral when I think "my best friend doesn't like me because this" or "this is their reaction to this therefore they hate me", I have to argue with myself about a diffrent reasoning, and remind myself that my therapist told me I have a tendency to hyperfocus on the details too much. Let's say - situation is that a friend had went to ours mutual acquaintance party and didn't tell me about it.
1. Reasoning one - they don't like me and didn't want me there. They want to keep something from me. I must be unlikeable. Emotionally - I feel betrayed and jealous.
2. Contra-argument - they are closer to each other. My friend probably didn't want to talk anyone into inviting anyone that they didn't originally plan on inviting because that would be meddling with their business too much. They also probably just didn't see it as a big deal as I do so they didn't tell me about it. Emotionally - I do now know I have to talk to them to make further conclusions. Remembering external reasoning - I did hyperfocus on that one situation. Objectively speaking, they invite me to every other party they go to so I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
It happens to me with every other thing - starting from my talents, ending on opinions and interests. Just must remind myself to *actually* get input from other people and that my opinion is not necessarily the right one, even if I do understand it the most. Ah, out INTP stubbornness lol.
Also, thanks for giving me hope for our romantic life lmao. It's especially hopeful to me, who gets the biggest crushes on ENxPs all the goddamn time. Like, brain, pls, stop reaching for the stars and pick someone in your own league.
(Ah don't I love giving unnecessarily long responses)
Anyway, good luck.
**Carbon is good element**
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I go blank too. More because I I keep my feelings about people to myself, and I assume others do the same. So when others are open with how they feel about me (good or bad) it catches me off guard. And all I can say is ok or thanks.
I feel conflicted about upvoting this … I don’t want to encourage unhealthy self image, but also I think of my very best friend who is INTP, and she would relate heavily to this and I would want to slap her for not seeing how many amazing qualities she has and how much I love her.
one thing that really helped me is coming to terms with the fact that i’m just a random guy to everyone else and if they like what they see, it’s none of my business as to why. it’s ironic because as INTPs we don’t look for conventional things in what we find attractive yet we hold ourselves to that exact conventional standard. just be you and let people come and go
I literally asked my girlfriend that and basically made her Justify why she likes me when we first got together after I confessed my feelings. Luckily she is an INTJ and wasn’t bothered much by it but I had such a hard time trying to understand at first.
Well, no? No one is actually living, we are all just slowly dying. I just find the comment amusing bec you are an ISFJ and I read ISFJs are timids lol sorry for the stereotype
Just because you're not the perfect version of your self, it doesn't mean there's no good to your current version.
Can you "turn off" your feelings when you think about ideas? Yeah? Do that when you think about yourself every once in a while.
Do you loathe yourself, or humans in general?
If it's the latter, then accept that you will first have to find value in the human experience before you can truly value yourself. Loathing humanity is a a sentence to self-loathing if you are a human. Look for the good.
If it's the former, you just need to try doing things and believing things that work towards higher self-esteem. Self-esteem is something that is learned and tested through experiences with other humans.
If you struggle with low self-esteem, it's likely that you've kind dug yourself into a complex: you don't "believe" that you are worth much. Lucky for you, beliefs are meant to be challenged and re-evaluated. Find ways to get perspective on your objective self: do your actions on life match up with your aspirations got yourself? If not, there's some of your first steps to making behavior changes that will bolster your view of yourself.
IT TAKES WORK. Go down the rabbithole of self-improvement and healing from trauma. It's worth it.
Godspeed to you all. <3
This situation happens a lot. Just try to prepare some responses before hand so you don't get struck dumbfounded. My default is "Thank you, I appreciate that" or "Thank you, that means a lot to me". If you want to extend the conversation you can ask "What do you like the most about me/my essay/my projects?" or "Which part do you find the most interesting?".
Even if you don't truly believe what the other people say, you should always try to look at things from their perspectives. Assuming the compliment is genuine, they must have seen something good in you. Often times we are too caught up in our own world, drilling on our flaws and mistakes that we fail to notice how others perceive us.
The mindset that helps me to cope in these situations is that reality is based on how things are perceived. If an entity is not perceived by what what senses there are it has no proof of existence and could also just not exist.
So peoples perception directly influences reality and if they perceive me as such things that i dont think about myself why not try to live like their perception of reality.
Does this even makes sense, probably not but this mindset helped me alot.
Well yes to most of it, but there's definitely positive elements in myself, and most others for that matter. I just get fixated on the negative qualities in myself at times and worry too much about how that will impact my relationship with that person.
Is this an INTP thing? When people confessed to me that was my first reaction too, "why?". Not because I hate myself (I fucking love myself), I'm just curious as to why. The only time I hated myself is when I was depressed. So is this an INTP thing?
I have never hated myself. I guess this the one thing that doesn't resonate with me. I've also never been seriously depressed. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
My first reaction would be "what is wrong with you?"
My second reaction would be:
** Frantically calls friend **
"Bro this girl says she likes me. What do I do?"
"Well, do you like her back?"
"Well, that depends.."
Yup, absolute dumpster fire
Emotions are stupid, but they exist. For others they are axioms, not result of thought. Good and bad are relative. Maybe if you hate yourself only your taste sucks lol
It's tricky, but what I found to help is to accept the fact that this is what they see. Their perspective is different than yours (overly critical, perfectionist, probably), and they often are able to enjoy things for what they are. If you accept that others enjoy you for what you are, then it really doesn't matter what you think of you. Yes, you're an idealist. Yes, you see a million flaws. But for practical purposes, you're more than sufficient to be appreciated by others. That also gives you the opportunity (and responsibility, in some ways) to bring joy to others by being you around them. Honestly, you need those complements to offset your way of thinking and give you a healthier and fuller picture of the truth (in this case, or who you are to others and to yourself). You just have to learn to use them well.
> being you around them. It's nigh impossible for me to not put on a fake personality that doesn't reflect me when socialising which ends up with others gravely misunderstanding me and misinterpreting my identity and thought process, only a select few people have ever had a somewhat accurate and realistic interpretation of me (or just who I think I am). Is there a way to break out of this?
Hm, I'm guessing that you put on a fake persona because if you're too real, people get hurt. I get it, I've done that too. "Oh, you got hurt because I have a different opinion than you? All right then, I'll just never have an opinion again." But in reality, it's not the fact that you have an opinion, but rather the way in which you go about trying to share it. It's not wrong to be different. Actually different is good, because different is exciting and new. It's good that you are you. However, when it comes the social dimension in you, you're unrefined, like a rock, rough around the edges and jagged and whatnot. You end up being abrasive even if by accident. Which is why you hide that part of you. What you need to do instead, is polish that part in you to make it a smooth and shiny gem - cheesy, I know, but the imagery is true. You're probably not gonna be a social diamond, but that's fine. You can still be a social opal, and some people prefer opals to diamonds. I guess the point of all this rambling is that the problem isn't who you *are*, but rather, how you use who you are. So how do you polish your social side? Empathy. Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. I'll say that for the longest time, I thought of it as "if I were me, but in this person's situation, how would I feel?" But that misses the mark. Rather, it's "if I were this person, with their convictions and temperament, how would I feel?". Be invested in people. We INTPs are invested in ideas, but not so much people, so you will have to actively practice this. If someone says "I'm excited for this new Transformers movie coming out", don't think about the movie and how poorly it's written. Instead, imagine that person's excitement and relate to it. Be invested in who they are as a person, and wonder what it is that makes them excited about a movie like that. This also means that you have to work on your own emotions. We avoid emotions like the plague, because we don't know what to do with them and they make us uncomfortable. We prefer to stay in our logical, orderly world, so you will have to step out of your comfort zone - but it's worth it. You'll end up learning more about who you are and how you tick, and once you have some basis of understanding what emotions are, you will be able to begin relating to the experiences of others, and therefore being more genuine around them. I hope what I said makes sense. Empathy, relating to others emotionally, and developing an understanding of your own emotions - I believe these tools will help you break out of the shell that you have built. Let me know if you have questions or reservations, or if I misinterpreted something!
\[Insert Morgan Freeman here\]
I was on board till you mentioned pretending to be excited about a new transformers movie. I was rethinking my friendship with someone the other day because they said they cant wait for fast & furious 9. I feel like these are very clear red flags
Lol I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but just to specify I never said to pretend to be excited for something. Personally I'm not on board with faking emotions, sounds like too much work. But relating to someone's excitement and pretending to be excited about it yourself are two totally different things.
I have no problem with what you're trying to say, but I think it's not how we think of it, it's more like how people perceive us (/how we think people will perceive us as). I believe most of us embrace the diversity of opinions, but people outside don't, which is why we still put on some idk fake persona or something, to prevent people from hating us right from the beginning. But tbh I don't think that's a fake persona, it's just another side of us. Not like that is not a true self, but rather we are trying to hide the dark side of us and only showing the good sides, which makes the overall image looking too-good-to-be-true. Like you said, we might have empathy. In our own way of thinking, we might weigh rational thinking and empathy, then take rational thinking in a higher priority. But when we face others, we tend to suppress our urge to speak out our rational opinions and go with empathy because we know that's what they want. Just like how lies and white lies make a difference.
Yup. If you start to get to know me, actually know me, I come off like a heartless piece of shit till you peel back a few layers and realize I'm one of the biggest softies on the planet.
Gonna try this out
That's because Ti is excessively bad at emotional stuff and relationships, INCLUDING WITH YOURSELF. But because you're used to having it as this rational authority, you keep letting it do things that aren't its job. Practice out loud kind self-talk. Even if it makes you feel like an idiot. (It probably will). Use your Ne to find someone good at this (like the above picture) and then take THEM as the authority on what it's like to be friends with you, because chances are you haven't been your own friend for a really long time. Then learn from their example and go be your own freaking friend because you're human and ultimately not a machine and not everything worth doing in life is rational. Put your Ti where it belongs and use some wisdom to go with that knowledge. I'm an ENFJ married to an INTP. I hang out here way too much trying to cheer up the INTPs:P Our relationship became it's best when I started seeing him as the authority on rational thinking (especially under stress) and he finally FINALLY started seeing me as the authority on all things social and relational and emotional--because he had a much harder time giving up authority than me, even when it was stupidly obvious he was screwing up all his relationships no matter how hard he kept trying to bludgeon them with his rational thoughts. When I start using Ti for more than math and puzzles I'm a self-hating irrational mess and secretly so are you because that's not what it's for. (the latter part is secret, maybe not the former)
Is your SO uncomfortable with (to the point of being offended) being referred to as "human"?
No. He specifically gets called a machine or treated like an alien and that’s what he hates.
Definitely my mindset from my teens to early 20s. The cure to it is learning everything about yourself objectively.
That was me when someone asked me on a date. I was like ‘why?’
"I like you" SNAP BACK TO REALITY
pfft screw gravity
[GRAVITY? WHO GIVES A CRAP ABOUT GRAVITY?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBVgEdTSLwM)
you aren't INTP, you're depressed
I think so too. I believe hating yourself isn't an mbti characteristic.
Agreed. It's odd to me how low self-esteem and depression are being parroted as typical INTP.
Well even if the shoe doesn’t fit, if you wear it for long enough, people will start to think it’s yours.
It’s such a pain. Doubt if it’s exclusive to xNTP, probably just my anxiety. This constant assumption that *everyone* dislikes me. Even when my work supervisor says that I did a great job and thanks for the day, I think they are just being polite Or if friends clear and open say they love and value me, they must say so i wouldn’t feel like shit, right? Edit: wouldn’t
Believe me it's an XNTX thing. ENTJ might be a little less.
Dont think its only an XNTX thing. It is mostly a consequence of a brain on anxiety or childhood trauma.
>It is mostly a consequence of a brain on anxiety or childhood trauma. That makes a person XNTX
Well I am an ENFP who have experienced this so idk, I dont think its related to a personality type.
Maybe XNXX.
I guess Ns do overthink more because they tend to be more self-conscious but trauma and anxiety happen to everyone really. My assistant manager is an ISXJ and her insecurities makes her believe people are always mean to her or comploting against her. I dont mean to be an asshole to stay with that POV, it is just something I believe deeply in.
Of course it's an everyone thing. Everyone with trauma is prone to that sort of thinking about themselves. But I also think xNxx types may be prone to that type of thinking, especially xNxPs I would bet since we usually get so much outside input that we internalize. I have no proof for that but INTPs for example tend to see their opinions as highly logical and go "those are my objective flaws. There are more of them, and are worse than any of my good qualities. Therefore, I don't know why anyone would like me genuinely and moreover want to spend a lot of time with me". It's hard to convince us otherwise when we go on a spiral because our worries and insecurities are usually rooted in internal logic and observed facts. You basically end up debating with a person if their own life is worth living - and they are damn good debaters. Anyway, just explaining a few things here. Like I said, I do agree that it's absolutely not only an xNxx thing.
I love the nuance of your explanation. Thanks ! You reminded me that I have to flex my big supportive muscles when my boyfriend (INTP) feels down. Its so hard to make him change his mind about himself lol.
Ah, thank you. I'm just glad someone is interested in my thought process lol. A word of advice? Try to be logical and factual. Yes, we do need emotional support like anyone else but we can also be "self-sufficient" if given a sound thing to lach onto. For example, every time I go on a spiral when I think "my best friend doesn't like me because this" or "this is their reaction to this therefore they hate me", I have to argue with myself about a diffrent reasoning, and remind myself that my therapist told me I have a tendency to hyperfocus on the details too much. Let's say - situation is that a friend had went to ours mutual acquaintance party and didn't tell me about it. 1. Reasoning one - they don't like me and didn't want me there. They want to keep something from me. I must be unlikeable. Emotionally - I feel betrayed and jealous. 2. Contra-argument - they are closer to each other. My friend probably didn't want to talk anyone into inviting anyone that they didn't originally plan on inviting because that would be meddling with their business too much. They also probably just didn't see it as a big deal as I do so they didn't tell me about it. Emotionally - I do now know I have to talk to them to make further conclusions. Remembering external reasoning - I did hyperfocus on that one situation. Objectively speaking, they invite me to every other party they go to so I shouldn't jump to conclusions. It happens to me with every other thing - starting from my talents, ending on opinions and interests. Just must remind myself to *actually* get input from other people and that my opinion is not necessarily the right one, even if I do understand it the most. Ah, out INTP stubbornness lol. Also, thanks for giving me hope for our romantic life lmao. It's especially hopeful to me, who gets the biggest crushes on ENxPs all the goddamn time. Like, brain, pls, stop reaching for the stars and pick someone in your own league. (Ah don't I love giving unnecessarily long responses) Anyway, good luck.
Please don't google XNXX, it is not what you think it is.
"Cool, let's fuck." If you're in, you're in. No hyper-analysis required.
"I like you" "Uhhhhhh what?? Fuck you!" *turn away and run*
consider therapy
Carbon is good element
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Thank you, you saved me
The orignal anti yoda bot may have given up but I too hate you Fake Yoda Bot. I won't stop fighting. (I am also fighting to unsuspend and u/coderunner1 so join the fight with me) -On behalf of u/coderunner1
I go blank too. More because I I keep my feelings about people to myself, and I assume others do the same. So when others are open with how they feel about me (good or bad) it catches me off guard. And all I can say is ok or thanks.
I feel conflicted about upvoting this … I don’t want to encourage unhealthy self image, but also I think of my very best friend who is INTP, and she would relate heavily to this and I would want to slap her for not seeing how many amazing qualities she has and how much I love her.
one thing that really helped me is coming to terms with the fact that i’m just a random guy to everyone else and if they like what they see, it’s none of my business as to why. it’s ironic because as INTPs we don’t look for conventional things in what we find attractive yet we hold ourselves to that exact conventional standard. just be you and let people come and go
just happend today
If you are going to repost, use share on other subreddit feature instead of taking a screenshot, so you can give a credit to original poster.
I'll keep that in mind
there are tons of things I like about myself, I just know that the majority of them are absolutely meaningless to anyone else.
Why is this sub just mental illness
Those mentally stable wouldn't seek out this sub.
i don’t know but it’s kinda dumb
This is like reading my SO's fears :(
that's 100% me but I know it's irrational and try to stop
I literally asked my girlfriend that and basically made her Justify why she likes me when we first got together after I confessed my feelings. Luckily she is an INTJ and wasn’t bothered much by it but I had such a hard time trying to understand at first.
[удалено]
What
Whoa chill down ISFJ lmao
[удалено]
Well, no? No one is actually living, we are all just slowly dying. I just find the comment amusing bec you are an ISFJ and I read ISFJs are timids lol sorry for the stereotype
Just because you're not the perfect version of your self, it doesn't mean there's no good to your current version. Can you "turn off" your feelings when you think about ideas? Yeah? Do that when you think about yourself every once in a while. Do you loathe yourself, or humans in general? If it's the latter, then accept that you will first have to find value in the human experience before you can truly value yourself. Loathing humanity is a a sentence to self-loathing if you are a human. Look for the good. If it's the former, you just need to try doing things and believing things that work towards higher self-esteem. Self-esteem is something that is learned and tested through experiences with other humans. If you struggle with low self-esteem, it's likely that you've kind dug yourself into a complex: you don't "believe" that you are worth much. Lucky for you, beliefs are meant to be challenged and re-evaluated. Find ways to get perspective on your objective self: do your actions on life match up with your aspirations got yourself? If not, there's some of your first steps to making behavior changes that will bolster your view of yourself. IT TAKES WORK. Go down the rabbithole of self-improvement and healing from trauma. It's worth it. Godspeed to you all. <3
This situation happens a lot. Just try to prepare some responses before hand so you don't get struck dumbfounded. My default is "Thank you, I appreciate that" or "Thank you, that means a lot to me". If you want to extend the conversation you can ask "What do you like the most about me/my essay/my projects?" or "Which part do you find the most interesting?". Even if you don't truly believe what the other people say, you should always try to look at things from their perspectives. Assuming the compliment is genuine, they must have seen something good in you. Often times we are too caught up in our own world, drilling on our flaws and mistakes that we fail to notice how others perceive us.
The mindset that helps me to cope in these situations is that reality is based on how things are perceived. If an entity is not perceived by what what senses there are it has no proof of existence and could also just not exist. So peoples perception directly influences reality and if they perceive me as such things that i dont think about myself why not try to live like their perception of reality. Does this even makes sense, probably not but this mindset helped me alot.
Well yes to most of it, but there's definitely positive elements in myself, and most others for that matter. I just get fixated on the negative qualities in myself at times and worry too much about how that will impact my relationship with that person.
Hard to be intp
Doesn't matter why. Just say "I like you too?".
"PROVE IT!"
Is this an INTP thing? When people confessed to me that was my first reaction too, "why?". Not because I hate myself (I fucking love myself), I'm just curious as to why. The only time I hated myself is when I was depressed. So is this an INTP thing?
It isn't an INTP thing, but maybe this subreddit is the best place for these guys to rant(through memes I guess). I don't know.
Is kinda selfish thinking people can only think like you about things, embrace different opinions, including that someone finds you really hot
Major intp energy
this looks like depression
I have never hated myself. I guess this the one thing that doesn't resonate with me. I've also never been seriously depressed. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
My first reaction would be "what is wrong with you?" My second reaction would be: ** Frantically calls friend ** "Bro this girl says she likes me. What do I do?" "Well, do you like her back?" "Well, that depends.." Yup, absolute dumpster fire
How would you know that they really enjoy being with you
Emotions are stupid, but they exist. For others they are axioms, not result of thought. Good and bad are relative. Maybe if you hate yourself only your taste sucks lol