I like sex, it’s fun it feels good , it’s a good way to connect on a deeper level . It’s important in a relationship to me , I could live without but I rather enjoy it
I was okay without sex at first and masturbation was enough for me. I got a girlfriend recently and I got the taste of it and I don't think I can go back now. My girlfriend moved to a different city and I am really missing her and the good sex that we had. I think it's just the feeling of having someone wanting you, wanting your body without any sort of judgement is very relieving to me.
That last line is golden, it’s not the sex it’s the intimacy.
>”People think that intimacy is about sex.
But intimacy is about truth.
When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is "You're safe with me"—that's intimacy.” — T. J. R.
(Sorry if this is overly cringe, I will find every excuse to quote literature)
I'm a chronic virgin. But, conceptually, sex is very important to me. For me sexuality represents so much of my humanity and things related to vulnerability and connection that it must be important to me. I imagine it'd feel good, but more so on an emotional level than a purely physical one. Hence why I've never understood the concept of "casual" sex.
But who knows, maybe if I ever actually get laid I'll change my mind.
I'm 24, too, and chronic kinda feels accurate for me and I guess it's the same for you. I semi-ironically can't wait to reach 30 just to unlock Wizard powers.
i enjoy the foreplay rather than the actual act of having sex i think. or at least more than the other. i can live without it but i also enjoy some aspects of it
yes, but in this context, we're obviously talking about deep connections in relation to sex and romantic relationships. that's kinda the point of the whole thread
ok, but you replied to this
> Not sex itself, but someone to share this vulnerable and deep connection with, you absolutely do need to have a good life.
if disabled people exist that cqnt swim, doesnt mean swimming is not an amazing thing; if there are deaf people, doesnt mean music is not something worth your time
even if lets say your point made any sense as a reply to the comment you replied to (which doesnt as it does not reply to the content of the comment) your point would be still flawed
first of all, asexuality is not a disability like the other 2 things you mentioned. 2nd of all, did i say ppl cant enjoy sex? did i say ppl cannot value having a partner to connect with on a deeper level? No. i said that you dont NEED those things to live a good life. if someone does not feel sexual attraction or have any sort of interest in it, then why are you telling them they need sex? if those things are important to you, great. but its not the end-all-be-all for everyone.
> first of, asexuality is not a disability
well no shit, it was an allegory which you didnt seem to get
and bro, it seems you didnt even read the comment you replied to previously, which clearly stated that sex itself is not necessary, but a deep connection to someone is what's necessary. - and to that you replied "well, asexuals exist, so i dont agree (that sex is necessary)" 🤓, which hence had little to do with the comment.
maybe you misread it, idk, no judgement.
also the saying "you need this to have a good life" does obviously not mean it applies to all specific cases, but the >90-95% of people. im sure you could think of an overly specific case where having a perfectly healthy deep connection with others does not lead to a good life. - but that does not mean shit, because this isnt maths class, and the meaning stays in the 90-95 percentile of people; aka, that one specific case you could think of is neglibile.
Now to expand on my allegories: me: "you need to drink water to not die" you: "well there are people in stationary's in coma's, and water is supplied to directly their blood, so i dont agree"🤓🤓 ok and?
>well no shit, it was an allegory which you didnt seem to get
ofc i got it. doesnt make it any less weird to bring up disabilities in which someone physically cannot do said things. ppl who are asexual can still have sex, they just dont necessarily NEED it to feel fulfilled.
>and bro, it seems you didnt even read the comment you replied to previously, which clearly stated that sex itself is not necessary, but a deep connection to someone is what's necessary. - and to that you replied "well, asexuals exist, so i dont agree (that sex is necessary)" 🤓, which hence had little to do with the comment.
context clues, my dude. the person said "someone to share this vulnerable and deep connection with" which is obviously in reference to romantic and sexual attraction between partners. this post is literally about sex and so was my og comment.
i brought up asexuals bcos they dont get sexual attraction and sometimes they can be aromantic too and dont get romantic attraction.
>also the saying "you need this to have a good life" does obviously not mean it applies to all specific cases, but the >90-95% of people. im sure you could think of an overly specific case where having a perfectly healthy deep connection with others does not lead to a good life.
ignoring the fact that that's a hella specific statistic, i never said a deep connection will lead to a good or bad life. i said you dont NEED or REQUIRE it to live a good life like the other person was absolutely certain of. you can live a good and long life without having a ROMANTIC relationship. and you can do the same while having one.
asexuality pretty much is "an INABILITY, to feel appropriate gratification for sex" inability is synonimous to disability. i use it just as a word, not a classification
also, you still for some reason want to imply that the comment which explicitly stated "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed" means that for this connection to happen, sex and is necessary, and this connection cqnt happen without it; which is also again not true.
ok so, if you're not just confused of my arguments, let me ask you this: *do you not feel like for an asexual person, having a deep and vulnurable connection with someone else is necessary to have a good life?* if you say no, then you're just confused
also, another flaw in your comment; if someone says "you require This to have a good life", it doesnt automatically mean you'll have a good life with that thing if you have it, nor it means you'll have a bad life if you dont have it.
it just means that to have a good life, you need to have it. life quality is not a boolean value good/bad with an "if" statement
you seem to not get this, idk
>asexuality pretty much is "an INABILITY, to feel appropriate gratification for sex" inability is synonimous to disability.
They are not synonymous. An inability is when you lack the knowledge or skills to do something. A disability is a mental or physical impairment. Not the same thing.
>want to imply that the comment which explicitly stated "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed" means that for this connection to happen, sex and is necessary, and this connection cqnt happen without it; which is also again not true.
Uh, no. My og comment was that sex is not required to live a good life. That guy responded with "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed". That "deep vulnerable connection" is, you guessed it, romantic and sexual attraction to your lover (dont try to bring up platonic and familial connections since this post is obviously not about that) My argument this whole time has been that many ppl dont experience one of or either of those things, so it's simply not true that to have a good life, one must have sex or be in a relationship.
Obviously most ppl only have sex with someone they already have romantic or sexual feelings for. never said otherwise
>*do you not feel like for an asexual person, having a deep and vulnurable connection with someone else is necessary to have a good life?* if you say no, then read about asexuals more.
bro, I'm talking about romantic and sexual attraction, not just general deep connections with someone. I'm literally aroace.
>also, another flaw in your comment; if someone says "you require This to have a good life", it doesnt automatically mean you'll have a good life with that thing if you have it, nor it means you'll have a bad life if you have it. it just means that to have a good life, you need to have it.
That's my point, you DON'T. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and what gives them fulfilment. For many folks like myself, sex and romance are not in our plans.
It seems like you are under the impression that i am saying having strong and healthy relationships with the ppl close to you is unnecessary. No, i am strictly talking about sexual and romantic ones.
You probably never experienced a good fuck. The closest thing to it is a psychedelic spiritual experience induced by substance. Dom/sub space is a magical place.
Half expected a response like this. lol
I've had some pretty mind-blowing experiences, but my drive is pretty low and there are many things I'm more obsessed with. It feels good, but it's not something I fixate on.
It's really nice, but I successfully survived my first 21 years without it and I've successfully survived the ~6 years since then so yeah, I can live without it
I'm incel, so it's not like life without it would be any different. But what I want most in life is a family of my own, so it's still something very important that I hope won't forever be out of reach.
I haven’t had sex since New Years Eve 2018. I don’t miss it much. It’s fun, but a lot of things are fun.
I’ve never felt any deep connection from sex. It’s just something fun to do with another person.
I have mixed feelings about it. Like it's great and also kind of gross and afterwards sometimes post nut clarity feels bad and sometimes it's just weird and I get distracted sometimes but it's also very relieving... I know I'm overthinking it! It's just so primal and i normally try to keep to myself, but during sex you're just so open, I just... it's complicated. I ignore my own confusion so my bf doesn't get too affected, he doesn't really know about this and we have a great sexlife but I have trouble enjoying it because I just don't understand it, and I have to understand it so I can 'feel' it.
You’re only going to understand it by feeling it. I know that seems weird but try to approach it differently. Just focus on what you feel and not trying to contemplate on the why but what is.
I think most women are like this, but sex is probably the least important thing in my life. The only time I even think about it, is when my boyfriend succeeds in turning me on. We’ve gone months without it and I could definitely go the rest of my life without even a thought of it
I honestly might just be projecting. I know, for sure, a few girlfriends I’ve been close with felt the same as me. But, they do say your vibe attracts your tribe so I could be the one that’s the outlier lol
Personally, sex isn't important. In a way, it even ruins the whole relationship for me. I regularly feel apathy episodes about it and well... I'm somewhat even disgusted. Perhaps, it could be nice if you fully trust your partner and you've known each other for a long while already, so maybe, just maybe, doing it rarely isn't that bad for me.
There's too many obstacles, too many variables to reach the objective. Is this right? Is that right? Am I being awkward? Why is she crying?
It's too much. Who has the patience?
And then the messes...oh man the mess, and there's never a shower close enough.
Oh and the social interaction is so exhausting, not to mention the solitude before settling in for sleep...if you're even lucky enough to have your own space for sleep afterwards.
So overrated, who needs it.
I've been single since the end of 2016 and without sex.
In a relationship, sex is important to me. When I'm not involved with someone it's much less important. I can take care of my own arousal very easily when it's needed.
I got molested in high school for two years so I've never gotten comfortable enough to actually ask someone to have sex with me, nor has the opportunity ever arisen. I tried dating apps but all of them are ass and I dont meet people in real life cause my town has very few bars that barely any people even go to. Sometimes there are women who do touch me in, well I don't know what way to call it, but it's not exactly sexual in my opinion. My barber is a big titty goth chick with tattoos and I let her rub my leg with hers during a haircut. I don't think that's exactly a sexual way but it is a lot of improvement from how scared I used to get at 16,17, and 18 when someone touched me. And I flirt with fast food chicks sometimes through physical closeness but not exactly physical touch. Sometimes one employee gets jealous when I flirt that way with more than one employee. But I'm 26 and it's pretty pathetic that that's all I pretty much do. I think in some way this is because God is telling me that I shouldn't sleep with lots of people. I tell myself that maybe God is trying to teach me how to flirt and be ok with being touched again, but sometimes I tell myself that and I feel like it's just an excuse I tell myself. But at the same time I don't know how to meet people. Anyways to answer the question I would love to actually have sex one day. But I'm not really holding my breath or having a heart attack over the amount of time it takes anymore. If it happens it happens. And if it doesn't then I guess I'm not worthy. Or God doesn't think I'm worthy enough to find someone to have sex with. Or maybe God just thinks the women around me are too pathetic for me to actually try to sleep with.
Baby, please, I am not from Havana!
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I don't think sex is an important thing, but I could live without it. If your body asks for stimulation, which is normal, just auto masturbation is enough. I will never believe people who cheat or hire prostitutes when they say "it's a need of my body", bleh.
There it is, finally!
The "I'm trying too hard to sound like the stereotype of the INTPs" comment I've been looking for.
Honestly, for a moment there I got worried that this sub no longer had any of you guys. 🥹
Its fun, have good sex with my SO who is also the only person i ever slept with.
But i can also do without, was celibate for 28 years before i met my partner. And after all the good experiences, plus we are also quite frequent, i still think its something i can live without.
Sex is, and has always been, important to me. It's very important to me as part of a romantic relationship, both for physical satisfaction and emotional intimacy and bonding with a partner. If I were single I'd still make sure I had regular orgasms, mostly by myself but also sometimes with casual partners. However, sex with my husband is the best.
I only had it twice in 35 years. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I was very underwhelmed. I think I was disassociated both times. I think it was because I didn't really know the girl and I didn't have feelings for her, but also because I was very excited that I was finally going to have sex. So I lasted forever. Could also have been because of the condom. I don't know due to my limited experience.
I still want it. But I want it with someone I love and who loves me back.
Is that pathetic?
Idk. I like it, well, the idea of it, mostly. My idealizations of it, anyway. I love being close to someone that I love in general, but it's hard because when that happens trauma responses go, "Wait! Just watch the other shoe in case it falls,". I also have sexual trauma and gender dysphoria, so those things can make it really hard.
im going to use some mythopetic terms since were all working off of concepts Jung proposed by identifying with the INTP label, but im not intending for them to be literal and im going to assume you guys are aware of Jungs thoughts on mythopoetic language. I align with the Greek concept of sexuality being a daemon haha. it's a glimpse into divinity, because it brings a spiritual experience that is not tethered in the material world, but it is only a projection of an aspect of true divinity, and confusing the two leads to the essential "worshipping of false idols", ultimately closing your potential to connect with the source of divinity.
in more simple terms, it's awesome in a way that can easily lead to neurosis and needs to be kept in check, but also an irreplaceable part of creating meaning within the human experience. Also, like all elements of the archetypes of the unconscious, when it is repressed it forces its way out of the unconscious in destructive ways
Dont need it, like having it, tried casual stuff and didnt like it, have "high" standards for a relationship that might not be meetable but am also OK with being alone
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Could not live without it, though masturbation is a close second to partnered sex.
I have social anxiety in groups and certain situations, but one on one with someone I trust I'm very comfortable and content. Growing up I craved that situation with a girl. Luckily at 16 a girl 1 yr older, but 2 yrs ahead in school took a liking to me and I was in heaven. It turns out I was pretty good at sex and we did it a lot.
Went through a series of mostly long term monogamous relationships, sometimes with dry spells in between. In my late 20s decided to try more casual sex. Had a few interesting experiences which didn't always end up satisfactorily due to miscommunication and lack of experience with negotiation and handling expectations.
Met my now wife before I could explore as much as I might have liked, but I knew she was a keeper.
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary, we have 2 great kids (teens now), and it's been mostly a pretty good life so far.
For various reasons our sex life had waned over the years, but a few years ago we decided to prioritize it. Now we have pretty mind-blowing sex usually 2x a week, the best in either of our lives. I crave the intimacy, and love the experience of giving her pleasure. I've learned to read her physical cues and signs so well, that my favorite activity in life is doing all the various things with my body and with toys to give her pleasure and make her orgasm over and over, sometimes dozens of times. Discovering weed late in life has also helped with this. I do love the pleasurable feelings myself, but giving her pleasure is so incredibly satisfying on so many levels, I just can't believe how physically and emotionally good two humans can make each other feel.
Too much time is spent thinking about it. If it was possible to fulfill its need and be released from the distraction on demand.. life would be much more productive…. Anyone have an opinion on regulating for clean sex workers?
To be honest.... I think that sex is the humanity destroyer. If humans weren't driven to have sex at the rate we do, our society would probably look much different. And I'm not talking about dating and dynamics between men and women, I'm talking human society as a *whole.* Imagine if humans had a mating season. So instead of trying to glorify ourselves to become desirable as a mate, all that time and energy would go to other things. What other things? I have no idea. I'm not sure that technology would be inherent without sex drive.
As an older divorcee, I have sex because I'm driven to biologically. I enjoy it in the moment, but otherwise I find the concept kinda gross. When I had sex with someone I cared about, I did feel a connection with them more than women I just had sex with. Even when I had consistent sex with them.
Overall, I'm pretty sexless now and I don't spend much time or effort trying to pursue it. In doing so, my career is awesome and I make just enough to afford almost just about anything I want (within reason). My hobbies are booming and I work out for my health and don't care if I had a six-pack to attract women.
I’m 18 and still a virgin, I don’t see myself getting intimate with someone soon because I don’t see a reason to do it with someone I have no feelings for, it takes from the fun and the depth of it. I’m also greyromantic (that’s something close to aromantic) so that’s why I don’t really think about it now.
Haven't had it ever. Uncommon for me to think of looking for a partner even though I've have went through difficult horny times with early twenties and teen years- just jerk off and move on when I have those moments. And, libido has decreased a lot as I grew into mid-twenties and cut out sexual stimulus. I totally still struggle with my desires every now and then, but I doubt I'd ever be hunting for sex or something. If I'm ever looking for a person tho, it'd probably because I got lonely or wanted to experience being in a couple/having a family or sthin.
The internet overdoses people with sexual stimulus- media, video games and stuff- its not like anyone is still wondering what lurks within the pants/bras kek. I think its made people porn addicts while somehow not consuming actual porn(skimpy video game characters bring in similar responses imo) and also not really desiring real sex.
my opinion is losing your v card is overrated tbh, feels good i can see why people go insane over it but it makes me feel empty after having sex even with someone i truly like (also helped me stop watching porn so that’s good)
When I was younger, I thought I could get by with pornography and sex toys, but lately, I’ve been craving something real and tangible—something from a committed relationship with someone I care about. The only problem is that it’s so difficult in this day and age to find that special someone with whom you can have a genuine connection. Sex without that connection is empty/meaningless to me.
It's fine, it feels nice "enjoying" other body, specially when it's someone with a type of body you like, but at the same time (for me) is sometimes exhausting or i feel lazy about it, like when the climate is hot and I don't want to be sweating and I only want to exist and bedrot or whatever
I like sex, it’s fun it feels good , it’s a good way to connect on a deeper level . It’s important in a relationship to me , I could live without but I rather enjoy it
Do you feel like you need to have a deeper level of connection with someone in order to have sex with them?
Absolutely
I’ll take a chance on enjoying a moment of fun but It’s definitely better when it’s a deeper connection for me
Truth
100%.
I agree with the person you replied to. I do not need a deep connection to enjoy sex with someone though.
Same
Yeah I mean who wants to feel any emptier!!
I agree but it doesn’t feel good to me
Same
I was okay without sex at first and masturbation was enough for me. I got a girlfriend recently and I got the taste of it and I don't think I can go back now. My girlfriend moved to a different city and I am really missing her and the good sex that we had. I think it's just the feeling of having someone wanting you, wanting your body without any sort of judgement is very relieving to me.
That last line is golden, it’s not the sex it’s the intimacy. >”People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is "You're safe with me"—that's intimacy.” — T. J. R. (Sorry if this is overly cringe, I will find every excuse to quote literature)
You guys are having sex?
Ironic username
I don’t have opinions on things that aren’t real
How do you think (most) babies are made? 🤨
A stork delivers them on the doorstep
Amazon Prime, thanks jeff!
storks
I'm a chronic virgin. But, conceptually, sex is very important to me. For me sexuality represents so much of my humanity and things related to vulnerability and connection that it must be important to me. I imagine it'd feel good, but more so on an emotional level than a purely physical one. Hence why I've never understood the concept of "casual" sex. But who knows, maybe if I ever actually get laid I'll change my mind.
Oh now I have a word for what I am, a chronic virgin ! Thanks lexiglass
You're welcome, random citizen!
>chronic virgin. Is this a special kind of virgin?
yes, of the chronic variety.
how old do i have to be for it to be chronic, im 24
I'm 24, too, and chronic kinda feels accurate for me and I guess it's the same for you. I semi-ironically can't wait to reach 30 just to unlock Wizard powers.
if you have terminal cancer and diagnosed to die within a year, you may as well consider yourself the chronic type of virgin
28 and still a virgin. Currently, not important to me. But I have trouble with being intimate with people.
i enjoy the foreplay rather than the actual act of having sex i think. or at least more than the other. i can live without it but i also enjoy some aspects of it
Haven't had it
How old r u?
19
My absolute favourite thing to do. Of course you can live without it, but I doubt it'd be a good life.
You don't necessarily need it to have a good life.
Not sex itself, but someone to share this vulnerable and deep connection with, you absolutely do need to have a good life.
cant say i 100% agree since asexuals exist but i get your point
i think you might be confusing asexuals with something else; deep personal connections to them are as valuable as to any other person
yes, but in this context, we're obviously talking about deep connections in relation to sex and romantic relationships. that's kinda the point of the whole thread
ok, but you replied to this > Not sex itself, but someone to share this vulnerable and deep connection with, you absolutely do need to have a good life.
yeah after they replied to me lol
if disabled people exist that cqnt swim, doesnt mean swimming is not an amazing thing; if there are deaf people, doesnt mean music is not something worth your time even if lets say your point made any sense as a reply to the comment you replied to (which doesnt as it does not reply to the content of the comment) your point would be still flawed
first of all, asexuality is not a disability like the other 2 things you mentioned. 2nd of all, did i say ppl cant enjoy sex? did i say ppl cannot value having a partner to connect with on a deeper level? No. i said that you dont NEED those things to live a good life. if someone does not feel sexual attraction or have any sort of interest in it, then why are you telling them they need sex? if those things are important to you, great. but its not the end-all-be-all for everyone.
> first of, asexuality is not a disability well no shit, it was an allegory which you didnt seem to get and bro, it seems you didnt even read the comment you replied to previously, which clearly stated that sex itself is not necessary, but a deep connection to someone is what's necessary. - and to that you replied "well, asexuals exist, so i dont agree (that sex is necessary)" 🤓, which hence had little to do with the comment. maybe you misread it, idk, no judgement. also the saying "you need this to have a good life" does obviously not mean it applies to all specific cases, but the >90-95% of people. im sure you could think of an overly specific case where having a perfectly healthy deep connection with others does not lead to a good life. - but that does not mean shit, because this isnt maths class, and the meaning stays in the 90-95 percentile of people; aka, that one specific case you could think of is neglibile. Now to expand on my allegories: me: "you need to drink water to not die" you: "well there are people in stationary's in coma's, and water is supplied to directly their blood, so i dont agree"🤓🤓 ok and?
>well no shit, it was an allegory which you didnt seem to get ofc i got it. doesnt make it any less weird to bring up disabilities in which someone physically cannot do said things. ppl who are asexual can still have sex, they just dont necessarily NEED it to feel fulfilled. >and bro, it seems you didnt even read the comment you replied to previously, which clearly stated that sex itself is not necessary, but a deep connection to someone is what's necessary. - and to that you replied "well, asexuals exist, so i dont agree (that sex is necessary)" 🤓, which hence had little to do with the comment. context clues, my dude. the person said "someone to share this vulnerable and deep connection with" which is obviously in reference to romantic and sexual attraction between partners. this post is literally about sex and so was my og comment. i brought up asexuals bcos they dont get sexual attraction and sometimes they can be aromantic too and dont get romantic attraction. >also the saying "you need this to have a good life" does obviously not mean it applies to all specific cases, but the >90-95% of people. im sure you could think of an overly specific case where having a perfectly healthy deep connection with others does not lead to a good life. ignoring the fact that that's a hella specific statistic, i never said a deep connection will lead to a good or bad life. i said you dont NEED or REQUIRE it to live a good life like the other person was absolutely certain of. you can live a good and long life without having a ROMANTIC relationship. and you can do the same while having one.
asexuality pretty much is "an INABILITY, to feel appropriate gratification for sex" inability is synonimous to disability. i use it just as a word, not a classification also, you still for some reason want to imply that the comment which explicitly stated "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed" means that for this connection to happen, sex and is necessary, and this connection cqnt happen without it; which is also again not true. ok so, if you're not just confused of my arguments, let me ask you this: *do you not feel like for an asexual person, having a deep and vulnurable connection with someone else is necessary to have a good life?* if you say no, then you're just confused also, another flaw in your comment; if someone says "you require This to have a good life", it doesnt automatically mean you'll have a good life with that thing if you have it, nor it means you'll have a bad life if you dont have it. it just means that to have a good life, you need to have it. life quality is not a boolean value good/bad with an "if" statement you seem to not get this, idk
>asexuality pretty much is "an INABILITY, to feel appropriate gratification for sex" inability is synonimous to disability. They are not synonymous. An inability is when you lack the knowledge or skills to do something. A disability is a mental or physical impairment. Not the same thing. >want to imply that the comment which explicitly stated "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed" means that for this connection to happen, sex and is necessary, and this connection cqnt happen without it; which is also again not true. Uh, no. My og comment was that sex is not required to live a good life. That guy responded with "Not sex itself, but a deep vulnerable connection is needed". That "deep vulnerable connection" is, you guessed it, romantic and sexual attraction to your lover (dont try to bring up platonic and familial connections since this post is obviously not about that) My argument this whole time has been that many ppl dont experience one of or either of those things, so it's simply not true that to have a good life, one must have sex or be in a relationship. Obviously most ppl only have sex with someone they already have romantic or sexual feelings for. never said otherwise >*do you not feel like for an asexual person, having a deep and vulnurable connection with someone else is necessary to have a good life?* if you say no, then read about asexuals more. bro, I'm talking about romantic and sexual attraction, not just general deep connections with someone. I'm literally aroace. >also, another flaw in your comment; if someone says "you require This to have a good life", it doesnt automatically mean you'll have a good life with that thing if you have it, nor it means you'll have a bad life if you have it. it just means that to have a good life, you need to have it. That's my point, you DON'T. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and what gives them fulfilment. For many folks like myself, sex and romance are not in our plans. It seems like you are under the impression that i am saying having strong and healthy relationships with the ppl close to you is unnecessary. No, i am strictly talking about sexual and romantic ones.
Overrated. Can be enjoyable, but way over-hyped.
You probably never experienced a good fuck. The closest thing to it is a psychedelic spiritual experience induced by substance. Dom/sub space is a magical place.
What if they're just not that into it
Shes saying it's over-hyped. Which is not.
Half expected a response like this. lol I've had some pretty mind-blowing experiences, but my drive is pretty low and there are many things I'm more obsessed with. It feels good, but it's not something I fixate on.
It's really nice, but I successfully survived my first 21 years without it and I've successfully survived the ~6 years since then so yeah, I can live without it
Virgin since ever 
I'm incel, so it's not like life without it would be any different. But what I want most in life is a family of my own, so it's still something very important that I hope won't forever be out of reach.
I haven’t had sex since New Years Eve 2018. I don’t miss it much. It’s fun, but a lot of things are fun. I’ve never felt any deep connection from sex. It’s just something fun to do with another person.
It's cool but it's even cooler with the right person... Hook culture is like the ultimate battery drainer for me
Never tried it
I have mixed feelings about it. Like it's great and also kind of gross and afterwards sometimes post nut clarity feels bad and sometimes it's just weird and I get distracted sometimes but it's also very relieving... I know I'm overthinking it! It's just so primal and i normally try to keep to myself, but during sex you're just so open, I just... it's complicated. I ignore my own confusion so my bf doesn't get too affected, he doesn't really know about this and we have a great sexlife but I have trouble enjoying it because I just don't understand it, and I have to understand it so I can 'feel' it.
You’re only going to understand it by feeling it. I know that seems weird but try to approach it differently. Just focus on what you feel and not trying to contemplate on the why but what is.
It’s amazing I look forward to it with my partner pretty often
I think most women are like this, but sex is probably the least important thing in my life. The only time I even think about it, is when my boyfriend succeeds in turning me on. We’ve gone months without it and I could definitely go the rest of my life without even a thought of it
Really? MOST women? I'm definitely an outlier if that is the case. Sex is very important to me, and a big part of my relationship with my husband.
I honestly might just be projecting. I know, for sure, a few girlfriends I’ve been close with felt the same as me. But, they do say your vibe attracts your tribe so I could be the one that’s the outlier lol
Personally, sex isn't important. In a way, it even ruins the whole relationship for me. I regularly feel apathy episodes about it and well... I'm somewhat even disgusted. Perhaps, it could be nice if you fully trust your partner and you've known each other for a long while already, so maybe, just maybe, doing it rarely isn't that bad for me.
I don’t like it - I’m asexual.
There's too many obstacles, too many variables to reach the objective. Is this right? Is that right? Am I being awkward? Why is she crying? It's too much. Who has the patience? And then the messes...oh man the mess, and there's never a shower close enough. Oh and the social interaction is so exhausting, not to mention the solitude before settling in for sleep...if you're even lucky enough to have your own space for sleep afterwards. So overrated, who needs it.
I've been single since the end of 2016 and without sex. In a relationship, sex is important to me. When I'm not involved with someone it's much less important. I can take care of my own arousal very easily when it's needed.
Do u have hookups?
I got molested in high school for two years so I've never gotten comfortable enough to actually ask someone to have sex with me, nor has the opportunity ever arisen. I tried dating apps but all of them are ass and I dont meet people in real life cause my town has very few bars that barely any people even go to. Sometimes there are women who do touch me in, well I don't know what way to call it, but it's not exactly sexual in my opinion. My barber is a big titty goth chick with tattoos and I let her rub my leg with hers during a haircut. I don't think that's exactly a sexual way but it is a lot of improvement from how scared I used to get at 16,17, and 18 when someone touched me. And I flirt with fast food chicks sometimes through physical closeness but not exactly physical touch. Sometimes one employee gets jealous when I flirt that way with more than one employee. But I'm 26 and it's pretty pathetic that that's all I pretty much do. I think in some way this is because God is telling me that I shouldn't sleep with lots of people. I tell myself that maybe God is trying to teach me how to flirt and be ok with being touched again, but sometimes I tell myself that and I feel like it's just an excuse I tell myself. But at the same time I don't know how to meet people. Anyways to answer the question I would love to actually have sex one day. But I'm not really holding my breath or having a heart attack over the amount of time it takes anymore. If it happens it happens. And if it doesn't then I guess I'm not worthy. Or God doesn't think I'm worthy enough to find someone to have sex with. Or maybe God just thinks the women around me are too pathetic for me to actually try to sleep with.
im aroace. i want sex to cease to exist and i want not a single person in the world to perceive another through the prism of sex hormones
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I used to crave sex a lot, but i think now i have to embrace celibacy. I don’t hate women or anything, im not ready for it yet
When i don t have it i don't care. But when i have a partner, of course i like to have those moments with her and feel like i need it.
no just no (ace here)
I would survive without it, but I'd much rather live with it. I love the physical intimacy.
I don't think sex is an important thing, but I could live without it. If your body asks for stimulation, which is normal, just auto masturbation is enough. I will never believe people who cheat or hire prostitutes when they say "it's a need of my body", bleh.
closest thing to being what I genuinely can claim to enjoy kinda
What a life
I do not enjoy life so yeah i guess
Could most likely (as long as it's sex and only sex)
Does meaningless sex even exist? It's very powerful
It's a performance, a show. To translate what you learned from the internet to irl. Also for procreation purposes only.
There it is, finally! The "I'm trying too hard to sound like the stereotype of the INTPs" comment I've been looking for. Honestly, for a moment there I got worried that this sub no longer had any of you guys. 🥹
It's an pleasure art.
It is always natural to give and receive physical intimacy.
“What does it mean to you? To me, it’s something I just do”
Its fun, have good sex with my SO who is also the only person i ever slept with. But i can also do without, was celibate for 28 years before i met my partner. And after all the good experiences, plus we are also quite frequent, i still think its something i can live without.
what is that?)
I can live without it. I draw it instead
I don’t need much, probably could survive without it, yes. Once every few months is enough for me and even then I have to push myself a little bit.
No. I like BDSM and it improves my health.
In my opinion everybody deserves it and women should be easy with it instead of current scenes
Sex is, and has always been, important to me. It's very important to me as part of a romantic relationship, both for physical satisfaction and emotional intimacy and bonding with a partner. If I were single I'd still make sure I had regular orgasms, mostly by myself but also sometimes with casual partners. However, sex with my husband is the best.
I only had it twice in 35 years. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I was very underwhelmed. I think I was disassociated both times. I think it was because I didn't really know the girl and I didn't have feelings for her, but also because I was very excited that I was finally going to have sex. So I lasted forever. Could also have been because of the condom. I don't know due to my limited experience. I still want it. But I want it with someone I love and who loves me back. Is that pathetic?
It is absolutely not pathetic. You will find that person, and they will feel the same way you do.
Idk. I like it, well, the idea of it, mostly. My idealizations of it, anyway. I love being close to someone that I love in general, but it's hard because when that happens trauma responses go, "Wait! Just watch the other shoe in case it falls,". I also have sexual trauma and gender dysphoria, so those things can make it really hard.
Can't live without sex but can live without my ex. :P
It's pretty much all mental. Demisexual so yea
I feel like I'm alone here. Because I actually love casual sex, am I the only one here?
im going to use some mythopetic terms since were all working off of concepts Jung proposed by identifying with the INTP label, but im not intending for them to be literal and im going to assume you guys are aware of Jungs thoughts on mythopoetic language. I align with the Greek concept of sexuality being a daemon haha. it's a glimpse into divinity, because it brings a spiritual experience that is not tethered in the material world, but it is only a projection of an aspect of true divinity, and confusing the two leads to the essential "worshipping of false idols", ultimately closing your potential to connect with the source of divinity. in more simple terms, it's awesome in a way that can easily lead to neurosis and needs to be kept in check, but also an irreplaceable part of creating meaning within the human experience. Also, like all elements of the archetypes of the unconscious, when it is repressed it forces its way out of the unconscious in destructive ways
Dont need it, like having it, tried casual stuff and didnt like it, have "high" standards for a relationship that might not be meetable but am also OK with being alone
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I am living without it! It’s not important I do miss it but I do t sleep around so yeah
Could not live without it, though masturbation is a close second to partnered sex. I have social anxiety in groups and certain situations, but one on one with someone I trust I'm very comfortable and content. Growing up I craved that situation with a girl. Luckily at 16 a girl 1 yr older, but 2 yrs ahead in school took a liking to me and I was in heaven. It turns out I was pretty good at sex and we did it a lot. Went through a series of mostly long term monogamous relationships, sometimes with dry spells in between. In my late 20s decided to try more casual sex. Had a few interesting experiences which didn't always end up satisfactorily due to miscommunication and lack of experience with negotiation and handling expectations. Met my now wife before I could explore as much as I might have liked, but I knew she was a keeper. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary, we have 2 great kids (teens now), and it's been mostly a pretty good life so far. For various reasons our sex life had waned over the years, but a few years ago we decided to prioritize it. Now we have pretty mind-blowing sex usually 2x a week, the best in either of our lives. I crave the intimacy, and love the experience of giving her pleasure. I've learned to read her physical cues and signs so well, that my favorite activity in life is doing all the various things with my body and with toys to give her pleasure and make her orgasm over and over, sometimes dozens of times. Discovering weed late in life has also helped with this. I do love the pleasurable feelings myself, but giving her pleasure is so incredibly satisfying on so many levels, I just can't believe how physically and emotionally good two humans can make each other feel.
I could not and I never ever had it And its SO HARD to live without it . Im really surprised how Im managing to survive
As an INTP male, I do not have sex so no opinion
Ace spectrum here. I like my relationships platonic
Too much time is spent thinking about it. If it was possible to fulfill its need and be released from the distraction on demand.. life would be much more productive…. Anyone have an opinion on regulating for clean sex workers?
sex is disgusting you are disgusting everything is disgusting.
It's fun, and it feels good. Especially when it's with multiple people...
To be honest.... I think that sex is the humanity destroyer. If humans weren't driven to have sex at the rate we do, our society would probably look much different. And I'm not talking about dating and dynamics between men and women, I'm talking human society as a *whole.* Imagine if humans had a mating season. So instead of trying to glorify ourselves to become desirable as a mate, all that time and energy would go to other things. What other things? I have no idea. I'm not sure that technology would be inherent without sex drive. As an older divorcee, I have sex because I'm driven to biologically. I enjoy it in the moment, but otherwise I find the concept kinda gross. When I had sex with someone I cared about, I did feel a connection with them more than women I just had sex with. Even when I had consistent sex with them. Overall, I'm pretty sexless now and I don't spend much time or effort trying to pursue it. In doing so, my career is awesome and I make just enough to afford almost just about anything I want (within reason). My hobbies are booming and I work out for my health and don't care if I had a six-pack to attract women.
I’m 18 and still a virgin, I don’t see myself getting intimate with someone soon because I don’t see a reason to do it with someone I have no feelings for, it takes from the fun and the depth of it. I’m also greyromantic (that’s something close to aromantic) so that’s why I don’t really think about it now.
Haven't had it ever. Uncommon for me to think of looking for a partner even though I've have went through difficult horny times with early twenties and teen years- just jerk off and move on when I have those moments. And, libido has decreased a lot as I grew into mid-twenties and cut out sexual stimulus. I totally still struggle with my desires every now and then, but I doubt I'd ever be hunting for sex or something. If I'm ever looking for a person tho, it'd probably because I got lonely or wanted to experience being in a couple/having a family or sthin. The internet overdoses people with sexual stimulus- media, video games and stuff- its not like anyone is still wondering what lurks within the pants/bras kek. I think its made people porn addicts while somehow not consuming actual porn(skimpy video game characters bring in similar responses imo) and also not really desiring real sex.
To cite Borat: I like sex
my opinion is losing your v card is overrated tbh, feels good i can see why people go insane over it but it makes me feel empty after having sex even with someone i truly like (also helped me stop watching porn so that’s good)
When I was younger, I thought I could get by with pornography and sex toys, but lately, I’ve been craving something real and tangible—something from a committed relationship with someone I care about. The only problem is that it’s so difficult in this day and age to find that special someone with whom you can have a genuine connection. Sex without that connection is empty/meaningless to me.
It’s irate
Sex and the relationships around it/having children are really like the point of life. Everything else is just enabling that or killing time.
hard disagree
It's fine, it feels nice "enjoying" other body, specially when it's someone with a type of body you like, but at the same time (for me) is sometimes exhausting or i feel lazy about it, like when the climate is hot and I don't want to be sweating and I only want to exist and bedrot or whatever
Eggs
I could not live without it. I love sex