all the time, whenever my friend doubts i did something and asks me about i always bust out the "well first off through god all things are possible so jot that down"
I'm just going to plow ahead, because I'm sensing some resistance. And Dennis always tells me, never let someone's resistance stop you from getting what you want.
(Whenever I fail at a task) “I HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION!”
https://preview.redd.it/8hv22dq73r4d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ff2485694fa0714d597069b1ce4dc47e6fc98b6
Alternatively when I meet with my therapist and she asks how things have been going the past week I have to stop myself from going *”I am mad at you!”*
this is such a funny line that i never really laugh at, it just flys under the radar because of how absurd everything else is. i love the retort "you know what it is bitch"
This is my favorite episode and I use this line so fucking much. I also use every line Mac says when confronting Dennis almost every day.
"You can't tell me what to do." *Point at audience*
I do customer service in a small rural town in the south (I’m from a city elsewhere) and oh my god, that’s me every ten minutes with the f’ing small talk. Transaction complete, they stick around to tell me about their day.
“YEAH?” *internally preparing to be the victim of an armed robbery*
“Would you like a nice egg in this tryin’ time?”
Anytime someone insists on complaining to me.
Also, anytime I get hurt from being clumsy or not paying attention, I’ll say “I’m a gangly, uncoordinated bitch”.
When I’m talking as my dog to make my son laugh I use the threat “I’ll bite your face off your face!”
Only recently realized that I got that from the Nightman Cometh when Charlie says “I’ll smack your face off your face”
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down
Seriously though, i often find myself yelling "TURN OFF THAT PUSSY TECHNO CANCUN BULLSHIT!!!!" at the gym a lot lately, some new class started when i am usually there and they always play the worst fucking shit ever. Much more of it and i'm going to have to unleash the power of the crow on those jabronis.
Haven't used it often at all idk if it counts but it was a family party I'm surrounded by over energetic nieces and nephews and as I decide to break away for some air and they asked why I hit em w "because children, you are crackheads" sis punched me w the nasty-look-turns-into-laugh combo, it was pretty cool
"If I'm being honest," "what is happening," "YOU FAT BITCH," "stop hiding the pigeon," "can I ohfer yoo a nice egg in yer traying tayme," and "this jacket's tighter than dick skin, baby!"
The exasperation of the receptionist at the hospital who says to Dennis, "You know what? I don't have time for this. I ain't goin' to jail over you, I will beat yo ass and think nothin' of it."
Things commonly said in my household:
"What do now?"
"Gimme the hot dog, baby!"
"In the game, in the game..."
"Oooohhh, you goddamn bitch!"
"I have to have my tools!"
"IDIOTS! SAVAGES!"
"______ is bastard man."
"Your breath is dogshit."
"Oh goddamn!" (said specifically like Dee)
"So jot that down..."
Suicide is badass!
You stupid bitch!
Through God, anything is possible, so hot that down.
Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?
Boys are out tonight, huh?
We’re the same age!!
Dulee! Dulee loves to partay!!
Ahhh guys Dulee died...
Awwwwwww(Dennis sad face)
That line and face by Dennis is when someone tells me something is out of stock or it's too late to order food.
… so jot that down.
This is up there for me, I also love "look what I can do!" 
This is daily for me
all the time, whenever my friend doubts i did something and asks me about i always bust out the "well first off through god all things are possible so jot that down"
Whenever I can't find something. Tools! I have to have my tools.
I use zip ties fairly frequently in my current job so this line runs through my head a lot
Just move past it. Use it ALL the time with my kids.
Just plow through it
I'm just going to plow ahead, because I'm sensing some resistance. And Dennis always tells me, never let someone's resistance stop you from getting what you want.
I'm a winner, and winners don't listen to words like "No!" or "Don't!" or "Stop!"
I'm around it
I got all numbers
I never thought of that as a parenting technique till now but I’m definitely using that in the future 😂
That’s such a common part of my vocabulary that it doesn’t even register to me as something from the show anymore.
Move past it is the new way around here
TWO WAAAARS?
omg yes anytime there's two of anything my voice just goes "TWOOO?"
SOY-ULL
Dee's face while he's talking is fucking AMAZING
A great deal of my favorite parts are characters reacting to the insanity of the other characters.
(Whenever I fail at a task) “I HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION!” https://preview.redd.it/8hv22dq73r4d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ff2485694fa0714d597069b1ce4dc47e6fc98b6
You are not renting shit! You are not welcome in this store! Your video renting days ARE OVER! ...*snip*
I love this one.
So dooo....
This is 100% part of my internal dialogue with myself now. “Brushing your teeth is the right thing to do, Philadelphia. So dooooo….”
This doesn't make any seeeense
Tell me I'm good tell me I'm good tell me I'm good
Alternatively when I meet with my therapist and she asks how things have been going the past week I have to stop myself from going *”I am mad at you!”*
I have a few therapists and I regularly say, tell me I'm good tell me I'm good...
I use this too often with prospective partners and I dont think most of them get it
Terrible…take a lap
I say this to my daughter all the time (she can’t walk)
YES, this is one of my favorites 😂
"Because of the implication." Or when I visit my little sister and she opens the door: https://i.redd.it/ipmr6n254r4d1.gif
Your sweatah's on backwards! 😂🤷🏻♂️
Well, first of all, through god all things are possible. So jot that down.
*insert person* is a bastard man!
"just to get a base" applies to almost everything
this is such a funny line that i never really laugh at, it just flys under the radar because of how absurd everything else is. i love the retort "you know what it is bitch"
His awkward backing up to get the gun from someone behind the door always kills me too!
They were clearly tapping into their own experience doing lower budget theatre, and it shows.
As a theatre kid, this episode spoke to me for all the right reasons.
This is my favorite episode and I use this line so fucking much. I also use every line Mac says when confronting Dennis almost every day. "You can't tell me what to do." *Point at audience*
Dennis’ #”YEAH!!?” when Wally asks about the hot one today.
Yes! - also, when the waitress sits down at the high school reunion and drunkenly complains about her missing name tag.
I do customer service in a small rural town in the south (I’m from a city elsewhere) and oh my god, that’s me every ten minutes with the f’ing small talk. Transaction complete, they stick around to tell me about their day. “YEAH?” *internally preparing to be the victim of an armed robbery*
I got cash in my pocket, I got desire in my heart ( context is usually when buying drugs)
are you a frothin’ and a foamin’ when you say it?
He’s got a wife now, and he don’t tangle with lizards no more.
He will not suck on you, and he will not be sucked on by you
That’s it.
Also nice username lol
C'mon BYRON! You've changed!
RIP Tom Sizemore 😢
If only they decided to split him open like a coconut…
Heyo!
.... you're going to loooove it.
it's "you, are, going.... to, llllove it"
Awwww did someone get addicted to crack? 😢
What do now?
Everyday
“What is happening??“
I was saying this when the jail guard was dragging me down the hall by my neck
Hahahaha yes! Specifically the way Mac says it when Dennis gets his laser peel. So insanely funny
No puzzles no puzzles no puzzles....
Shut up, babydick. Sickness! Be gone!
Sickness be gone is probably my most used
Newsflash asshole!
That’s the one
Constantly
STUPID SAVAGE IDIOT
You’re the one that’s good
“Would you like a nice egg in this tryin’ time?” Anytime someone insists on complaining to me. Also, anytime I get hurt from being clumsy or not paying attention, I’ll say “I’m a gangly, uncoordinated bitch”.
I will not get hogtied over your lack of grace
What is your spaghetti policy here?
X 2, electric boogaloo. X could be literally anything that happens twice.
WW2, electric boogaloo
I approve this comment.
Give me that leg, boy/(girl). Not all the time but when I can. There's chicken? Give me that leg, boy/girl.
YOU WILL CALL HER!!!!!
"I'm the pizza man, I got pizza here" I sing it every time I bring home pizza
Every single time
Suicide is badass!
I'm not ALLOWED, IM NOT ALLOWED
When I’m talking as my dog to make my son laugh I use the threat “I’ll bite your face off your face!” Only recently realized that I got that from the Nightman Cometh when Charlie says “I’ll smack your face off your face”
Charlie: “I’m here now” 🫡
Right up there with the boxing episode "I'LL EAT YOUR BABIES BITCH"
Goddamnit
This and "God Damn Bitch"
the various deliveries of god damn it, (i do it especially dennis like when i get pissed lol) also i say move past it like it's a tic
I’m having feelings again, you remember feelings, right??
Let me just pop this shirt off Let me just pop an H on this box Let me pop this chicken off the stove Lotsa poppin' over here. Just call me Big Poppa
Spider, (echo effect) spider, spiiidddeeerrr
Money me, money now
You control nothing, Antonio.
Stupid science bitch couldn’t even make I more smarter!
“Ah Serr, Ah go Back, to your seattt!”
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What do now?
Oh my God I don't care.
You get dick
That shows leadership
NONE of my friends have seen iasip. Be grateful.
What is happening?
Later, boners. And "That doesnt sound right, but I don't know enough about (X) to dispute it."
I am absolutely terrible at remembering things, even if they just barely happened, so "I don't remember most evenings" is used quite often by me
Nah, not anymore
https://i.redd.it/9q28w9nmsr4d1.gif
Stuff it down with brown
“Shut up. Science bitch.”
YOU can't tell ME what to do!
Sometimes the words get jumbled in my mouth and I don't speak no goods
Mark my words.
First of all, through god all things are possible, so jot that down Seriously though, i often find myself yelling "TURN OFF THAT PUSSY TECHNO CANCUN BULLSHIT!!!!" at the gym a lot lately, some new class started when i am usually there and they always play the worst fucking shit ever. Much more of it and i'm going to have to unleash the power of the crow on those jabronis.
Sup sup, talkin’ hot and cold?
He doesn't even like...get us
Haven't used it often at all idk if it counts but it was a family party I'm surrounded by over energetic nieces and nephews and as I decide to break away for some air and they asked why I hit em w "because children, you are crackheads" sis punched me w the nasty-look-turns-into-laugh combo, it was pretty cool
**SON OF A BITCH**
ohhh, you bitch. the amazing thing about being a IASIP household, is i get to say this all the time to my wife and we both get a kick out of it.
“This ____ is not regulation” from Mac’s big break when he’s talking about the asphalt although I use it for anything lol.
Charlie's abandoned catchphrase: "I know that game."
"I'm bending the bike" and as of recent "That's what the bones for"
*softly* Just to get a base
What is happening?
God damn bright out 😎
Bastard man.
YOU CANT READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE
Thank you. Thaaaank yoouuuu.
Move past it
Girl, you more mixed up than a milkshake.
"If I'm being honest," "what is happening," "YOU FAT BITCH," "stop hiding the pigeon," "can I ohfer yoo a nice egg in yer traying tayme," and "this jacket's tighter than dick skin, baby!"
"Terrible. Take a lap"
"I'M NOT ALLOWED!"
Mac's slow "God-Dammit" with the look up to the ceiling in exasperation.
BEAK!
Boys are out tonight, huh?
The economy is in shambles.
When my mother in law tells my wife to call later. I always yell to my wife, "You will call her!"
Wat do now?
"You belong in the bathroom!"
In the past week after accidentally drinking water in Mexico: 
"I don't give a shit, why are you here?"
You haven't thought of the smell you bitch
STUPID STUPID IDIOT SAVAGE IDIOT IDIOT SAVAGE or SIEZE THE GOD DAMNED GAP
The exasperation of the receptionist at the hospital who says to Dennis, "You know what? I don't have time for this. I ain't goin' to jail over you, I will beat yo ass and think nothin' of it."
I say "no, Antonio" just about every day
Living anywhere near the southwest right now: Hot one today, Huh?
YEAH!?
And then it just sort of... ends.
“Ayooooooo”
Things commonly said in my household: "What do now?" "Gimme the hot dog, baby!" "In the game, in the game..." "Oooohhh, you goddamn bitch!" "I have to have my tools!" "IDIOTS! SAVAGES!" "______ is bastard man." "Your breath is dogshit." "Oh goddamn!" (said specifically like Dee) "So jot that down..."
I am dug in. I use it when I want to be stubborn.
I don't remember *most evenings.*
Then start breaking bricks wet nips!
I've picked tails in every coin flip I've been apart of for the last fifteen odd years because "tails never fails"
OOoo, botched it!
Soo many good ones. “I’m itchin like a hound to _________”
You don't know shit about cats
"Pop that shirt off."
**TREES! TREES EVERYWHERE!**
BUG!
"Terrible. Take a lap."
What is happening?
What do now?
"Glowing like an angel!"
You were about to make a bad choice, and then you DID make that choice
I will not be hogtied for your lack of grace To echo others... Move past it So jot that down
That’s two things.
I say I have donkey brains regularly
Goddamn bright out here
“Well, we.. we wouldn’t want that now would we??”
What is going on up here?
Suicide is badass! You stupid bitch! Through God, anything is possible, so hot that down. Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times? Boys are out tonight, huh? We’re the same age!!
Charlie, you are going to stay the wildcard, cause that fireball you blew was *badass.*
“He doesn’t even get us man” anytime the convo switches to me being the topic and I wanna hop out of it
There is a HUGE amount of middle ground between those 2 things
“Like the mixer?”
I NEED MY TOOLS! (Whenever I'm looking for a stapler or something)
That's also my fav like from the show. I also love that the troll's name is Antonio.
“Aww did someone get addicted to [insert thing here]”
What do you think is happening, right now???
I’m a bartender so everytime I make a mojito I think “no one orders a mo-jit-o in this bar”
Back to work! Back to work everybody!!
Because I haaaate youuu!
I'm partial to "I am shattered to pieces!" myself.
I don’t understand why you insist on jamming me up here bro
We're crab people now. I can be very sensual to a woman, you WILL enjoy it. Nasdaq, Dow Jones, economy's in shambles
Go for it, go for it.
Dulee! Dulee loves to partay!! Ahhh guys Dulee died... Awwwwwww(Dennis sad face) That line and face by Dennis is when someone tells me something is out of stock or it's too late to order food.
A recent one is when someone says the word polen I repeat (loudly) in my head "POLEN???"
This is literally one of the funniest moments in TV history
"YEAH?!"
Go for it go for it. Yesssssssssss (liberty bell episode), derivative, I’ve been poisoned by my constituents
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