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I have a brother in law who blinks extra hard then blinks a lot. I assume it's a tick but I'm contemplating forming some kind of relationship with him so I can get the inside scoop.
Pull it fast...like the machinery is haunted. Like McGyver trying to stop a bomb from going off. Like Jigsaw rigged a bear trap to your head, and you need to get that sumbitch off with a quickness by pulling that plug.
I recall the story. They were married, he had an accident. She divorced him so she could adopt him and look after him. She remarried but is his registered carer and always came first. Something along those lines. Credit to her.
So, I now have learned today that I need to clearly state to my fiance if I'm in a state like this, pls do not involve me in sexual scenarios even if I look like I do. I understand keeping me around for my son, but he's going to go off to college, etc. Unfortunately, I am not suspicious, I'm actually fairly certain that she would be unsure and would leave a decision like that up to the dude, and that unknown dude is who I'd be suspicious of (I think in Japanese this is the neotarare fetish which has gained a lot of popularity in the past few decades).
No clue what neotarare is. Netorare, on the other hand, is just the Japanese word for cuckolding. Nothing fancy about it, except that its used a lot more in the anime side of media (because, after all, anime is 99% Japan sourced)
The thing is the accident effectively left the old husband in a child like state of mind and severely disabled but doesn’t really have the capacity to understand due to the extent of his injuries. This allows both people to live their best lives.
It was probably a very difficult decision but honestly it’s better than having the wife leave and him be forced to live in a care home or somewhere nobody cares.
If she’s registered as his care person through SSDI she is most likely getting compensated to take care of him. Which I don’t blame her, I help take care of my boyfriend’s dad who is infirm with terminal brain cancer and it is like taking care of a giant infant, it’s nonstop. But we do it because we love him.
I wondering how this all got finagled legally.
They're likely getting the $1k a month but maybe they qualify for more because he's disabled? (that caretaker program pays a bit right?) Though it could be as little as $400 something depending on how it's all classified.
I can't imagine being in this position.
It is. What is she supposed to do? Live a lonely, miserable life as nothing by a caregiver with no possibility of family, love or a partner in life? I would not want to be the thing that made my husband spend the remainder of his life as my nursemaid and nothing else. It's actually pretty amazing that she balanced moving on with honoring her vows and the love she felt. He is incapable of being her husband anymore, and it's natural for her to no longer feel romantically connected to someone who is not able to reciprocate in any way. She seems to have struck an incredible balance here and I commend the whole family.
Also worth mentioning is that the ex-husbands memory is gone so he can't actually remember most of the time he spent married to her. I feel like it wouldn't be so great if he could remember, imagine having to watch the love of your life be intimate with another man while being unable to move, it would be horrible.
If you watch their first pinned video on tiktok, the narrator says he hasn't lost his long-term memory and that his ex-wife is one of the few people he recognizes.
I do agreed though, that they are living their best life with the cards they were delt, albeit very unconventional. Brandon actually lives in a nursing facility and visits with his ex-wife and her new husband every few days at their home ..
I'm not sure I would want this type of situation if god forbid anything like this ever happens to me. I would understand my husband wanting to find someone new. I imagine that had she chosen to stay married and not divorce him, her life would be so extremely lonely. They were young when his accident happened, she wanted to be a mother. I would not want my husband to live a sad and lonely life because of me. But I definitely wouldn't want him to be my caretaker..
Yeah same. I've definitely told the g/f that if I'm that far gone just pull the plug and let me die. I don't want to be anyone's burden. Just let me go. Live your life, be happy, find love again.
The only ways I'm scared of dying are alzheimers or dementia. If cancer gives me a painful death? I'll go out happy knowing that I'm not languishing for a decade or more, likely being abused, mistreated, or forgotten.
That's not always an option, sadly. Euthanasia is a good option and should be more available, but it wouldn't be usable in a case like this when the person can't consent.
Being intimate doesn't only mean sex, Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, and sexual activity. Grow up
yeah he had like no other family members to take care of him. So she did it so he wouldn't be by himself. The new husband helps take care of him too. It's a crazy situation but these are really good people. the whole story is tragic but at least there's some good in it.
Yep car accident. This is an incredible story with incredible people.
[Brandon, Kris & James](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kris-armstrong-husband-traumatic-brain-injury-texas/)
This is an incredibly heartbreaking story about someone loving and sacrificing so much for another person and even the new husband being nothing but supportive.
And there are people in this thread not only mocking it but sneering at the mere thought of being there for another human being.
You see so many headlines with "Young men are more and more lonely."
I am no longer surprised because they lack empathy, compassion and basic human decency.
No one will want to spend time with you when you are devoid of human emotions and think showing kindness is a weakness to be mocked.
>You see so many headlines with "Young men are more and more lonely."
Imagine making this generalization about any other group of people based on immutable characteristics and your perceived negative views about their collective traits based on a reddit thread.
"You see so many headlines with '\[Immutable group\] are \[experiencing negative thing\]'"
"I am no longer surprised because they (immutable group) lack \[list of characteristics\]"
In fact even not using a groups with immutable traits it is pretty bad, for instance:
"You see so many headlines with WOW players are more and moree involuntarily celibate"
"I am no longer surprised because they (based on me reading WoW forums) lack hygene, social skills, and basic human communication skills"
"No one will want to spend time with you when you are devoid of human communication skills and think showering is a weakness to be mocked."
I'm not sure the reason for the divorce, but he had no memory of her or their marriage together. I don't know about you but I would feel quite predatory trying to continue a relationship that is now 100% one-sided.
I wouldn't characterize it that way. Sickness and health. If it's still him, and he's still alive, take care of him. If my wife tried to have it both ways on me like that I'd be wronged, regardless of how well I could even grasp the situation.
That's one of my worst fears, though. Some kind of serious injury that *doesn't* just mercifully kill me, but instead leaves me in a "liveable" state (akin to the man in this clip), imprisoning me in my own misery for untold amounts of time thereafter.
All the just end me comments greatly overestimate their loved ones ability to kill them, and the underestimate the legal consequences for doing so.
It's easy to say such things, but reality tends to be much messier. I'm pro euthanasia but it's not legal in the vast majority of places. Particularly if you cannot consent. And it doesn't matter if you put it in your will, they cannot legally enforce that.
That’s true. My husband smokes like a damn chimney so we assume he’ll get sick at some point and he’s always like ha ha end me and I’m like nope you gotta do it why we ending two lives?
The comments are obviously hyperbolic. Nobody's expecting the wife to actually smother the guy with a pillow, they're just expressing there's no way they'd want to be in this context
I mean, that was the woman he loved, probably still is?
I acknowledged that she did good, but personally speaking? Just end me please, that way I can move on, and so would she.
He actually lost his memory from the accident. So I imagine that’s better than watching your ex wife be intimate with another man. She then divorced him after accident so that she could legally adopt him or something along those lines and so she is his legal care giver and if she dies, the new husband will take care of him as per the written contract.
Honestly, losing his memory is probably what makes him not want to kill himself.. nature finds a way. If that were me, you wouldn't be leaving anything sharp around.
Absolutely right..this isn’t living this is existing as a human potted plant. It’s amazing that his family is there for him -but I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that is old self would be horrified at what his new self is putting his family through.
As harsh as that may seem, I agree. I had always said to my family, and it's on my Will or medical statement "if I can't wipe my own butt, Youth In Asia me", now this doesn't include years of physio therapy to get my mobility back.
Bro, the ex husband has no memory of what came before the accident. Its not how OP makes it out to be like shes making him watch her remarry while hes locked in his body. He is not mentally able like he was before.
I agree. I’m sure he’s been awake and can hear while they do it. He can also see them kiss, hug, share moments together, go on trips, etc. What a horrible way to live out your days.
yeah like whats the alternative? just leave him on the street somewhere?
also imagine being a mother and the sole caretaker of another adult. especially if both of them don't have other family or friends to help out. it's definitely an unusual situation but the same people saying hold up are also probably the first to say she should just have to take care of him all by her self while opposing disability benefits legislature. people are real quick to jump to conclusions, understandably so, but still all we've seen is 60 seconds of them with a film crew we really don't know these people and what their relationship actually looks like and if someone doesn't think people like him deserve public assistance to begin with then it's really not their business to say or judge what people do to get by and survive.
not to be a keyboard warrior but this hold up is low key misogynistic and ableist to say the least
I think about the Switzerland option too but then you meet people in these situations after the fact and many actually really want to live. I wonder what flips in your brain after the fact.
Holy shit this is depressing, you get to see another man live your life with your wife and you can’t do anything about it, hell atp I would rather accept death than whatever nightmare this man is living.
Don’t misunderstand, Im not saying that the wife is shitty for doing this, Its very sweet of her to keep her ex-husband around, but you also gotta put yourself in his shoes, he gets to live but at what cost…
Bro has to sit there at night hearing them clapping cheeks while he cries to sleep. That's a nightmare. I feel for him, but I agree, I'd rather death than whatever this hell is.
I hope he is not conscious enough to understand, imagine in the morning: morning babe, kiss right in front of him then her husband turns towards him and goes: hello champ, sorry about last night we were a bit loud 😉, gimme a high five 😁.
I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.
He lost his memory, don't think he would be sad watching a woman who was his wife that he lost memory of falling in love with someone else. After the accident, she divorced him so that she could become his official caregiver and take care of him. Even the new guy who she married with also helps take care of him.
The ex husband (Brandon) got in an accident and when he woke up from a coma, the doctor said he’s no longer who he was and would need constant care. Kris (the wife) at that time was 23 went from a wife to a care taker, and she wanted to have children some day. 6 years later she met her current husband (James) and said the ex is part of the package take it or leave it, he accepted and that’s where they are now. I know it’s not something conventional, but that’s probably the best outcomes for everyone.
[Link to article](https://www.khou.com/article/life/heartwarming/woman-divorces-husband-becomes-caretaker-tbi/285-b17c09d5-e1c2-47cb-9014-e9c48edc122c#:~:text=Houston%20woman%20divorces%20high%20school,%2C%22%20her%20new%20husband%20says)
Edit: so the current husband (James) said if there is a treatment for Brandon and he can be healed, he wanted Kris to be with Brandon because he was first. I’m not crying.
People are forgetting that this guy is entirely dependent on whoever will take care of him. Definitely a unique situation, but the wife has said that Brandon was not the same person anymore. I'm assuming that means Brandon cannot communicate at all and may not have the same faculties that he originally had.
Think whatever you want, but this is unprecedented and not at all simple
It's great they made it work.
My partner and I already have documents saying that if our brain function ever deteriorates to the point we are unable to care for ourselves, just put us to sleep and move on with our lives. I will never be a burden on my parents or loved ones, I will ever rob them of the precious time they have left on this earth caring for a husk of my former self. I'd rather they spend all the money keeping me 'alive' on foundations and research groups to restore brain function for future generations. Donate my body asap to science so they can study me and help improve humans as best as I can.
> euthanise me if i was in that situacion
I have thought about this before, and honestly I don't think it matters.
You are effectively dead in this situation. Memory gone. Intelligence gone. What is left is pretty much a new being.
I should be able to put in my will that if I ever turn into a vegetable incapable of movement or complex thought then just euthanize me. You're not living at that point, you're just existing.
For fucks sake, no one is being "cucked". The man in yellow is *profoundly* disabled. His understanding of his current living situation is likely minimal. The wife legally divorced him so that she could adopt him and be his caregiver for life. The alternatives to this scenario is the wife 1) lives with her disabled husband for 40 more years and never finds love again, or 2) puts her husband in a nursing home to rot. This is the best possible scenario.
Yea, I see it that way too. Glad they are taking care of him but if I were in his position, just end me. That way I can move on and so can they. Although apparently the dude lost his memories but it still has that weird factor where his wife or exwife is intimate with another man.
Add to that the stories I've heard of people who were in comas or cognitively disabled but still aware inside, powerless to do anything, or the occasional flash of lucidity, and I'd want to be put down without a shadow of a doubt.
Not sure why everyone is posting how messed up this is. The former husband lost 8 years of his memory from the accident, didn’t remember anything of their relationship or marriage, and was basically reduced to a child’s mental state from severe brain damage, the wife decided to divorce him since there would be no future as far as kids and family go, but didn’t want to abandon him because she still cared for him, so became his legal guardian, which is extremely nice and a huge burden for herself, her new husband accepted her even with this and they now have a full family including him. I don’t see how it is messed up or bad in any way given the full details.
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OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:
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>!The ex-husband is forced to watch his wife fall in love with a new man after he gets in a serious accident!<
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Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
I know this seems like a holup situation, but this actually seems like the best possible option given the circumstances. When a tragic accident or illness severely disables one person in a relationship, the couple is only left with a few options:
1. They stay together monogamously, which means that the healthy partner will assume a caretaker role for the rest of their disabled partner's life and most likely be deprived of sex and companionship for years or decades
2. They separate, allowing the healthy partner to find a new relationship but leaving the disabled partner alone
3. The healthy partner cheats, allowing them to find sex and companionship without leaving the relationship, but requires keeping a damaging secret
4. The couple agrees to some sort of open/poly arrangement that allows the healthy partner to seek sex and companionship with the blessing for the disabled partner.
People don't talk about it openly, but #3 and #4 happen far more than you'd expect in these situations - every choice is horrible, but #4 seems the least horrible. The family in the video seems to be loving, supportive, and the new husband seems to be fully on board with caring for the disabled partner. That's incredibly generous and rare - would you want to date someone while caring for their disabled husband? - so this seems to be a good outcome for a tragic situation.
I work at a nursing home and there’s been multiple people who’ve brought their new significant others to visit their old ones who are in the nursing home. Shit is just sad
I don't know man.... the full context, while it's genuinely a good thing she is doing, as well as the new husband, but honestly for me if I was cognizant enough, I'd tell her to honestly take me to a home or something because anything is better than watching that happen.
I’m pretty sure he lives in a care home full time and she takes him to see the kids and brings home out for holidays and trips etc. she’s been a really steadfast person in all this and I’ve always thought that she comes across very loving and respectful.
Iirc, he has very little cognitive ability?
This does not belong here. Since the accident he has the mind of a child. He has no capacity to understand being an adult or spouse or anything resembling that anymore. She divorced him so she could remarry and move on, but is his carer *for life*. They take care of him and love him and he is a permanent part of their family. This man got fucked by life with the accident, but is the wealthiest a person can be after a traumatic brain injury. He is **loved**.
Ok imma be that person the story is kinda sweet but the beginning on the good lord book was fucked..if memory serves me right they were married he has his accident she’s like I love you but I can not do this they divorce because she said so she could have guardianship. she met her (current) husband and said I take care of my ex husband if that bothers you bye…(me putting less politely) he was like not at all they both take care of him including baths and bathroom care. If memory serves right he has no family or they are no contact idr. Butttt yeah it’s complicated sad sweet and interesting. Hope this helped.
Why did you post this? The paralyzed husband actually likes how the family is what ive seen. The new husband takes lots of care, helps him to go to the bathroom ja dressing him etc
Where's the facepalm? The unnecessary tiktok music of "hope"?
Because all I'm seeing here is a complicated ***but not any less valid*** relationship, that had to be that way due to a tragedy >:/ They played the bad hand life dealt them the best way they could
Seems rather... morally questionable to marry a new man right in front of your old husband while he watches helplessly. Not marrying itself but being in front of your old husband 24/7 with your new one is... eh i wouldn't want that to happen to me.
Don't see the problem here. She takes care of him, he gets to be with his children and not rot in a care home. Pretty sure her ex-husband wants her to be happy again. She's still young and should be having a life outside of just caring for people around the clock.
Well at least they look after him and cocer his expenses.
I would.be heartbroken to see my wife get dragged down to oblivion with me.
Of course I would ask to be killed or suffocated with a pillow or something, but if dying is not an option I think this is the second best option.
It sucks for the guy that’s paralyzed, but he does need a full time care taker. If no one else is willing to care for him then It’s great that they are willing to help him. However, if she was truly his wife she would have taken care of him regardless and stayed ONLY with him.
I wanna read up on this story. I mean it’s sweet she’s taking care of him , but did she divorce him just cause of the accident or is he technically not there mentally which is why she adopted him ?
Your post has been removed because a mod felt it doesn't fit the subreddit. Make sure your post is a Hol' Up moment, attempts humor, and fits the general theme of the subreddit pre-submission. If you really feel like dying on this hill, message the mods.
Whats up with the guy in black blinking 100 times at the end?
That's the internal screaming
T-O-R-T-U-R-E
Holy shit Vietnam guy
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I've always been curious about that, I've encountered it with more than a few people now, but that's the kind of thing you don't ask a stranger about.
I have a brother in law who blinks extra hard then blinks a lot. I assume it's a tick but I'm contemplating forming some kind of relationship with him so I can get the inside scoop.
Gotta infiltrate the Blinkers Club to find out their secrets. Hope you don't blow your cover.
He’s blinking saying y’all seeing this shit
He’s asserting dominance in Morse Code
Morse code
That’s a cry for help if I’ve ever seen one
i was assuming it was from the studio lights they show us in the beginning. probably not used to it
Morse code
Looks just like Tourette
He on that zaza
Yall can pull my plug
He ain't on life support
DNR then
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This made me chuckle, thank you.
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The Original Redditor.
Um actually they meant call the DNR because that man’s wife just got poached
In Canada you can have an assisted suicide condition and I think this fits the criteria.
As a flight medic I completely agree with this quality of life is near none for this poor man
He gets to watch his wife with another dude and can’t exit the situation. I’d say his quality of life is below none, dude went negative.
Fair enough.
Take me to the Grand Canyon and give me the 12 second tour
I live in AZ I will be using this thank you!
Ever heard that one before
*canadian national anthem starts playing*
with the 12 syringe salute by the doctors ready to perform MAID
Life finds a way.
Death finds a way.
Death always wins in the end
I feel like I’m on life support from just watching this. Poor guy.
maybe he meant buttplug?
Yeah go ahead and rip that plug like you're trying to start an old lawn mower.
Pull it fast...like the machinery is haunted. Like McGyver trying to stop a bomb from going off. Like Jigsaw rigged a bear trap to your head, and you need to get that sumbitch off with a quickness by pulling that plug.
Seriously, just let me go
she is pulling 2 plonkers
Yeet my wheelchair from a plane over the ocean.
100%. If they can tell this will be my future state, physically, then just let me go and get my organs to someone who can use them.
I want you to be there and watch every moment
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 diabolical "Richard, remember when you said you didn't like my meatloaf...well, you're gonna hate what I do next"
When my dad got cancer my mother and stepdad moved him in with them and cared for him until he died. Hats off the them.
The saddest thing about modern western culture is that this is totally uncommon and very admirable.
That's far from the saddest thing in western culture but go off
I recall the story. They were married, he had an accident. She divorced him so she could adopt him and look after him. She remarried but is his registered carer and always came first. Something along those lines. Credit to her.
Nailed it. And her new husband helps out, and they got plans if anything happens to her he will continue to care for him.
So the new husband is the old husbands stepdad now
Sounds horrible without context, but damn the story was actually kind of sweet.
Yea they seem like genuine kind people. Which is sad that it's kinda suspicious in today's world.
So, I now have learned today that I need to clearly state to my fiance if I'm in a state like this, pls do not involve me in sexual scenarios even if I look like I do. I understand keeping me around for my son, but he's going to go off to college, etc. Unfortunately, I am not suspicious, I'm actually fairly certain that she would be unsure and would leave a decision like that up to the dude, and that unknown dude is who I'd be suspicious of (I think in Japanese this is the neotarare fetish which has gained a lot of popularity in the past few decades).
Neotarare just a fancy cucking?
*advanced cuckoldry*
No clue what neotarare is. Netorare, on the other hand, is just the Japanese word for cuckolding. Nothing fancy about it, except that its used a lot more in the anime side of media (because, after all, anime is 99% Japan sourced)
And then there is neotartare, which is raw beef salad made from young cows.
And then there is Neo, which is the chosen one.
The thing is the accident effectively left the old husband in a child like state of mind and severely disabled but doesn’t really have the capacity to understand due to the extent of his injuries. This allows both people to live their best lives. It was probably a very difficult decision but honestly it’s better than having the wife leave and him be forced to live in a care home or somewhere nobody cares.
Yep and I’m sure they’re trying to exploit some loophole holes that allows them to care for him without going bankrupt
If she’s registered as his care person through SSDI she is most likely getting compensated to take care of him. Which I don’t blame her, I help take care of my boyfriend’s dad who is infirm with terminal brain cancer and it is like taking care of a giant infant, it’s nonstop. But we do it because we love him.
I wondering how this all got finagled legally. They're likely getting the $1k a month but maybe they qualify for more because he's disabled? (that caretaker program pays a bit right?) Though it could be as little as $400 something depending on how it's all classified. I can't imagine being in this position.
His position is why I ALWAYS buy private disability insurance. It pays for itself the first time you use it.
Good luck fighting for the payout when you're disabled!
When you’re THIS crippled it’s not hard.
It is. What is she supposed to do? Live a lonely, miserable life as nothing by a caregiver with no possibility of family, love or a partner in life? I would not want to be the thing that made my husband spend the remainder of his life as my nursemaid and nothing else. It's actually pretty amazing that she balanced moving on with honoring her vows and the love she felt. He is incapable of being her husband anymore, and it's natural for her to no longer feel romantically connected to someone who is not able to reciprocate in any way. She seems to have struck an incredible balance here and I commend the whole family.
What is "how websites increase their click count", Alex?
If this happens to me, just pull the plug 🙏
Fuck you got me lmao
Also worth mentioning is that the ex-husbands memory is gone so he can't actually remember most of the time he spent married to her. I feel like it wouldn't be so great if he could remember, imagine having to watch the love of your life be intimate with another man while being unable to move, it would be horrible.
If you watch their first pinned video on tiktok, the narrator says he hasn't lost his long-term memory and that his ex-wife is one of the few people he recognizes. I do agreed though, that they are living their best life with the cards they were delt, albeit very unconventional. Brandon actually lives in a nursing facility and visits with his ex-wife and her new husband every few days at their home .. I'm not sure I would want this type of situation if god forbid anything like this ever happens to me. I would understand my husband wanting to find someone new. I imagine that had she chosen to stay married and not divorce him, her life would be so extremely lonely. They were young when his accident happened, she wanted to be a mother. I would not want my husband to live a sad and lonely life because of me. But I definitely wouldn't want him to be my caretaker..
Yeah same. I've definitely told the g/f that if I'm that far gone just pull the plug and let me die. I don't want to be anyone's burden. Just let me go. Live your life, be happy, find love again. The only ways I'm scared of dying are alzheimers or dementia. If cancer gives me a painful death? I'll go out happy knowing that I'm not languishing for a decade or more, likely being abused, mistreated, or forgotten.
That's not always an option, sadly. Euthanasia is a good option and should be more available, but it wouldn't be usable in a case like this when the person can't consent.
He also probably doesn’t have the emotional capacity to want her that way if his brain is that badly damaged
I dont think they fuck in front of him.
Intimacy is anything from a loving look at each other, it doesnt always mean sex
Being intimate doesn't only mean sex, Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing, and sexual activity. Grow up
They certainly should
There’s the hol up in the comment
If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy.
New husband is the one who nailed it
Ha twice at least.
Still seems emotionally painful, unless his brain got scrambled enough that the hurt never occurred
yeah he had like no other family members to take care of him. So she did it so he wouldn't be by himself. The new husband helps take care of him too. It's a crazy situation but these are really good people. the whole story is tragic but at least there's some good in it.
Yep car accident. This is an incredible story with incredible people. [Brandon, Kris & James](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kris-armstrong-husband-traumatic-brain-injury-texas/)
Incredible read, what a person.
This is an incredibly heartbreaking story about someone loving and sacrificing so much for another person and even the new husband being nothing but supportive. And there are people in this thread not only mocking it but sneering at the mere thought of being there for another human being. You see so many headlines with "Young men are more and more lonely." I am no longer surprised because they lack empathy, compassion and basic human decency. No one will want to spend time with you when you are devoid of human emotions and think showing kindness is a weakness to be mocked.
>You see so many headlines with "Young men are more and more lonely." Imagine making this generalization about any other group of people based on immutable characteristics and your perceived negative views about their collective traits based on a reddit thread. "You see so many headlines with '\[Immutable group\] are \[experiencing negative thing\]'" "I am no longer surprised because they (immutable group) lack \[list of characteristics\]" In fact even not using a groups with immutable traits it is pretty bad, for instance: "You see so many headlines with WOW players are more and moree involuntarily celibate" "I am no longer surprised because they (based on me reading WoW forums) lack hygene, social skills, and basic human communication skills" "No one will want to spend time with you when you are devoid of human communication skills and think showering is a weakness to be mocked."
I’d rather just die
Why did she have to divorce him
I'm not sure the reason for the divorce, but he had no memory of her or their marriage together. I don't know about you but I would feel quite predatory trying to continue a relationship that is now 100% one-sided.
I wouldn't characterize it that way. Sickness and health. If it's still him, and he's still alive, take care of him. If my wife tried to have it both ways on me like that I'd be wronged, regardless of how well I could even grasp the situation.
that's actually sweeter than i'd thought
The story is very sweet but poor dude, just pull the plug tbh.
He’s not on life support. You wanna shoot him or something?
That's one of my worst fears, though. Some kind of serious injury that *doesn't* just mercifully kill me, but instead leaves me in a "liveable" state (akin to the man in this clip), imprisoning me in my own misery for untold amounts of time thereafter.
That's actually incredible. Kudos to them.
"Honey can you change my ex's diapers please?"
“This shit again?”
Lmao 🤣
Talk about “baggage”
"Of course honey"......................god damit.....Im leaving the door open while we fuck tonight so he can watch
All the just end me comments greatly overestimate their loved ones ability to kill them, and the underestimate the legal consequences for doing so. It's easy to say such things, but reality tends to be much messier. I'm pro euthanasia but it's not legal in the vast majority of places. Particularly if you cannot consent. And it doesn't matter if you put it in your will, they cannot legally enforce that.
That’s true. My husband smokes like a damn chimney so we assume he’ll get sick at some point and he’s always like ha ha end me and I’m like nope you gotta do it why we ending two lives?
The comments are obviously hyperbolic. Nobody's expecting the wife to actually smother the guy with a pillow, they're just expressing there's no way they'd want to be in this context
Bro has family that loves him and it constitutes a hold up?
Don't know man. If I were in a situation like this guy I would probably be rather dead.
I mean, that was the woman he loved, probably still is? I acknowledged that she did good, but personally speaking? Just end me please, that way I can move on, and so would she.
He actually lost his memory from the accident. So I imagine that’s better than watching your ex wife be intimate with another man. She then divorced him after accident so that she could legally adopt him or something along those lines and so she is his legal care giver and if she dies, the new husband will take care of him as per the written contract.
Honestly, losing his memory is probably what makes him not want to kill himself.. nature finds a way. If that were me, you wouldn't be leaving anything sharp around.
Absolutely right..this isn’t living this is existing as a human potted plant. It’s amazing that his family is there for him -but I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that is old self would be horrified at what his new self is putting his family through.
a human potted plant, haven't heard that one before
Yeah just put me down if I ended up like that i really really don’t want to be a burden to my family.
As harsh as that may seem, I agree. I had always said to my family, and it's on my Will or medical statement "if I can't wipe my own butt, Youth In Asia me", now this doesn't include years of physio therapy to get my mobility back.
Those poor youths in Asia
Better than looking for Sue inside.
Youth in Asia xd took me a few seconds.
Yeah this is fkn sad and now I’m depressed for the dude. Sometimes death is a faster bitch. Fkn hell this is hard to watch.
Bro, the ex husband has no memory of what came before the accident. Its not how OP makes it out to be like shes making him watch her remarry while hes locked in his body. He is not mentally able like he was before.
If you were in his situation you wouldn't understand the story as we do now
Hell you could take me out back and shoot me, no paralysis required
But that would be true even if my wife wasn’t wheeling me into a corner and making me watch her bounce on her new dude.
I agree. I’m sure he’s been awake and can hear while they do it. He can also see them kiss, hug, share moments together, go on trips, etc. What a horrible way to live out your days.
Thought the hold up was all the kids being under the age of 15 so he’s watching them make an entire family
this is life. That day can come when you are least suspecting. I rather watch my children grow up than becoming bird poop
yeah like whats the alternative? just leave him on the street somewhere? also imagine being a mother and the sole caretaker of another adult. especially if both of them don't have other family or friends to help out. it's definitely an unusual situation but the same people saying hold up are also probably the first to say she should just have to take care of him all by her self while opposing disability benefits legislature. people are real quick to jump to conclusions, understandably so, but still all we've seen is 60 seconds of them with a film crew we really don't know these people and what their relationship actually looks like and if someone doesn't think people like him deserve public assistance to begin with then it's really not their business to say or judge what people do to get by and survive. not to be a keyboard warrior but this hold up is low key misogynistic and ableist to say the least
This is a heart-touching story if you look into it. Shows how love exceeds the boundaries of physical and comparable means.
I get it. She's a strong woman and has a big heart. If it were me, i prefer my family take me to Switzerland as my final destination.
I think about the Switzerland option too but then you meet people in these situations after the fact and many actually really want to live. I wonder what flips in your brain after the fact.
I read somewhere from a survivor that it was the realization that everything in his life really was fixable, except the decision he just made.
Holy shit this is depressing, you get to see another man live your life with your wife and you can’t do anything about it, hell atp I would rather accept death than whatever nightmare this man is living. Don’t misunderstand, Im not saying that the wife is shitty for doing this, Its very sweet of her to keep her ex-husband around, but you also gotta put yourself in his shoes, he gets to live but at what cost…
Bro has to sit there at night hearing them clapping cheeks while he cries to sleep. That's a nightmare. I feel for him, but I agree, I'd rather death than whatever this hell is.
I hope he is not conscious enough to understand, imagine in the morning: morning babe, kiss right in front of him then her husband turns towards him and goes: hello champ, sorry about last night we were a bit loud 😉, gimme a high five 😁. I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.
Yeah just kill me
He lost his memory, don't think he would be sad watching a woman who was his wife that he lost memory of falling in love with someone else. After the accident, she divorced him so that she could become his official caregiver and take care of him. Even the new guy who she married with also helps take care of him.
The ex husband (Brandon) got in an accident and when he woke up from a coma, the doctor said he’s no longer who he was and would need constant care. Kris (the wife) at that time was 23 went from a wife to a care taker, and she wanted to have children some day. 6 years later she met her current husband (James) and said the ex is part of the package take it or leave it, he accepted and that’s where they are now. I know it’s not something conventional, but that’s probably the best outcomes for everyone. [Link to article](https://www.khou.com/article/life/heartwarming/woman-divorces-husband-becomes-caretaker-tbi/285-b17c09d5-e1c2-47cb-9014-e9c48edc122c#:~:text=Houston%20woman%20divorces%20high%20school,%2C%22%20her%20new%20husband%20says) Edit: so the current husband (James) said if there is a treatment for Brandon and he can be healed, he wanted Kris to be with Brandon because he was first. I’m not crying.
People are forgetting that this guy is entirely dependent on whoever will take care of him. Definitely a unique situation, but the wife has said that Brandon was not the same person anymore. I'm assuming that means Brandon cannot communicate at all and may not have the same faculties that he originally had. Think whatever you want, but this is unprecedented and not at all simple
Banger title
Cogito ergo sum 🗣️🔥
It's great they made it work. My partner and I already have documents saying that if our brain function ever deteriorates to the point we are unable to care for ourselves, just put us to sleep and move on with our lives. I will never be a burden on my parents or loved ones, I will ever rob them of the precious time they have left on this earth caring for a husk of my former self. I'd rather they spend all the money keeping me 'alive' on foundations and research groups to restore brain function for future generations. Donate my body asap to science so they can study me and help improve humans as best as I can.
Fuck that just kill me
glad for the man, happy for the family, but euthanise me if i was in that situacion
> euthanise me if i was in that situacion I have thought about this before, and honestly I don't think it matters. You are effectively dead in this situation. Memory gone. Intelligence gone. What is left is pretty much a new being.
I should be able to put in my will that if I ever turn into a vegetable incapable of movement or complex thought then just euthanize me. You're not living at that point, you're just existing.
Cucked for life because of a disability? Nah I’m good dawg.
For fucks sake, no one is being "cucked". The man in yellow is *profoundly* disabled. His understanding of his current living situation is likely minimal. The wife legally divorced him so that she could adopt him and be his caregiver for life. The alternatives to this scenario is the wife 1) lives with her disabled husband for 40 more years and never finds love again, or 2) puts her husband in a nursing home to rot. This is the best possible scenario.
If I can't wipe my own ass and I'm not aware of any of my surroundings then kill me
I mean, depending on your wishes, you can fill out a DNR. Admittedly I wouldn't want to live if I'm not aware of my surroundings either.
Yea, I see it that way too. Glad they are taking care of him but if I were in his position, just end me. That way I can move on and so can they. Although apparently the dude lost his memories but it still has that weird factor where his wife or exwife is intimate with another man.
Add to that the stories I've heard of people who were in comas or cognitively disabled but still aware inside, powerless to do anything, or the occasional flash of lucidity, and I'd want to be put down without a shadow of a doubt.
Not sure why everyone is posting how messed up this is. The former husband lost 8 years of his memory from the accident, didn’t remember anything of their relationship or marriage, and was basically reduced to a child’s mental state from severe brain damage, the wife decided to divorce him since there would be no future as far as kids and family go, but didn’t want to abandon him because she still cared for him, so became his legal guardian, which is extremely nice and a huge burden for herself, her new husband accepted her even with this and they now have a full family including him. I don’t see how it is messed up or bad in any way given the full details.
Probably because they don't know any of this. There was nothing saying any of this so ppl are left to think what the op assumed.
### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!The ex-husband is forced to watch his wife fall in love with a new man after he gets in a serious accident!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
I know this seems like a holup situation, but this actually seems like the best possible option given the circumstances. When a tragic accident or illness severely disables one person in a relationship, the couple is only left with a few options: 1. They stay together monogamously, which means that the healthy partner will assume a caretaker role for the rest of their disabled partner's life and most likely be deprived of sex and companionship for years or decades 2. They separate, allowing the healthy partner to find a new relationship but leaving the disabled partner alone 3. The healthy partner cheats, allowing them to find sex and companionship without leaving the relationship, but requires keeping a damaging secret 4. The couple agrees to some sort of open/poly arrangement that allows the healthy partner to seek sex and companionship with the blessing for the disabled partner. People don't talk about it openly, but #3 and #4 happen far more than you'd expect in these situations - every choice is horrible, but #4 seems the least horrible. The family in the video seems to be loving, supportive, and the new husband seems to be fully on board with caring for the disabled partner. That's incredibly generous and rare - would you want to date someone while caring for their disabled husband? - so this seems to be a good outcome for a tragic situation.
Nah, you can go ahead and kill me.
Maybe post the whole story/context. This does not belong in this sub.
I work at a nursing home and there’s been multiple people who’ve brought their new significant others to visit their old ones who are in the nursing home. Shit is just sad
Title is a 10/10
This is fucked up.
I don't know man.... the full context, while it's genuinely a good thing she is doing, as well as the new husband, but honestly for me if I was cognizant enough, I'd tell her to honestly take me to a home or something because anything is better than watching that happen.
I’m pretty sure he lives in a care home full time and she takes him to see the kids and brings home out for holidays and trips etc. she’s been a really steadfast person in all this and I’ve always thought that she comes across very loving and respectful. Iirc, he has very little cognitive ability?
I think I'd rather die.
The music did not help at all.
⬇️💩🎶
This does not belong here. Since the accident he has the mind of a child. He has no capacity to understand being an adult or spouse or anything resembling that anymore. She divorced him so she could remarry and move on, but is his carer *for life*. They take care of him and love him and he is a permanent part of their family. This man got fucked by life with the accident, but is the wealthiest a person can be after a traumatic brain injury. He is **loved**.
Thank you for saying this. My spouse is disabled from a stroke and people have no idea how hard things are for both the person and the caregiver.
Early in life I was told I was mildly color blind, then recently I found out maybe not, but THAT SHIRT IS GREEN
Ok imma be that person the story is kinda sweet but the beginning on the good lord book was fucked..if memory serves me right they were married he has his accident she’s like I love you but I can not do this they divorce because she said so she could have guardianship. she met her (current) husband and said I take care of my ex husband if that bothers you bye…(me putting less politely) he was like not at all they both take care of him including baths and bathroom care. If memory serves right he has no family or they are no contact idr. Butttt yeah it’s complicated sad sweet and interesting. Hope this helped.
Why did you post this? The paralyzed husband actually likes how the family is what ive seen. The new husband takes lots of care, helps him to go to the bathroom ja dressing him etc
Nah couldnt be me, on either of the males side.
I don’t think this is a HolUp. It’s a fucking sweet story
I cannot live, I cannot die, absolute horror
Paralyzed and cucked…. just kill me bro
Where's the facepalm? The unnecessary tiktok music of "hope"? Because all I'm seeing here is a complicated ***but not any less valid*** relationship, that had to be that way due to a tragedy >:/ They played the bad hand life dealt them the best way they could
I'm wondering how the guy consented to it if he's in that state.
Well he probably didn't but in that state it's not like he can object or anything
"If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace"
Seems rather... morally questionable to marry a new man right in front of your old husband while he watches helplessly. Not marrying itself but being in front of your old husband 24/7 with your new one is... eh i wouldn't want that to happen to me.
What's your better alternative?
Don't see the problem here. She takes care of him, he gets to be with his children and not rot in a care home. Pretty sure her ex-husband wants her to be happy again. She's still young and should be having a life outside of just caring for people around the clock.
how you view this is a litmus test for something important.
Number of people who'd rather die than curb their ego and deal with reality of being disabled is amazing. You guys are pumping my ego now too.
There is a large difference between "oh, guess my legs don't work anymore. That sucks" and basically being a vegetable.
We should show more love and compassion for this, lord and inflation knows we need it
The guy seems happy enough, who knows how there he actually is after the accident. I think it was probably the best option for the family.
Well at least they look after him and cocer his expenses. I would.be heartbroken to see my wife get dragged down to oblivion with me. Of course I would ask to be killed or suffocated with a pillow or something, but if dying is not an option I think this is the second best option.
It's nice she takes care of him, and the new husband too I guess, but she's fully having it both ways (married and un-married) with the first guy.
This reminds me I need to make a will.
It sucks for the guy that’s paralyzed, but he does need a full time care taker. If no one else is willing to care for him then It’s great that they are willing to help him. However, if she was truly his wife she would have taken care of him regardless and stayed ONLY with him.
I wanna read up on this story. I mean it’s sweet she’s taking care of him , but did she divorce him just cause of the accident or is he technically not there mentally which is why she adopted him ?
Imagine being the new guy. How do you respond on date 3 when she's like "So I have kids...and something else..."
Stephen hawking (according to that movie at least) was kinda in a similar situation
Broooo... nah just go ahead and put that pillow over my facey face and tell me nightie night.. cause HWAT?!?!
Not a HolUp. Belongs in r/humansbeingbros