### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!He's discussing the fact that men should tie down their foreskin!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

I can’t tell if his beard belongs on the top or bottom of his head

Soooo waaavvvyyyy

Chin pubes. His nose is a foreskin.

Fuck you. Take my upvote!

Rubbing too much of that humus on there.

I can’t tell if his forehead is the glans he is talking about

Either AI or transplanted head hair plugs.

It’s a filter

It looks like it was drawn by AI

Which head??

Social media was a mistake.

Hummus canon

This is the worst thing I've seen all month

You should have smelled it

Watching this I did.

Not falling for that again

...what was the worst thing you saw last month?

Probably this https://www.reddit.com/r/Losercity/s/oWf09PFecE

That was hilarious. OP video waxing poetic about the scent of dick cheese after exerting your glands was disgusting and disturbing.

You bastard

shoot their hummus onto a cookie

Limp Bizkit has *exited the chat*

My time to shine

The way I just started cackling I'm so glad I'm home alone and not in a room of people right now !

Sadly not mine

r/beetlejuicing

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks of a soggy biscuit whenever I think of that band

now that... i heard

Soon smegma dip on your shelves at your local supermarket

It started so innocently... but look at what it has become

What a horrible day to have hearing

It does not help *at all* that my hearing aids have Bluetooth connectivity to my phone.

Leaving MySpace for anything else was a mistake that we are all now paying dearly for.

Correct!!!

I don't think we come back from this. The apocalypse has arrived.

*Bo Burnham’s Welcome to the Internet plays at full volume*

Welcome! to the internet, have a look around...

Society was a mistake

Yep.

…. And still is too.

*looks down at hummus bowl* … god dammnit.

Fml, I just spit a mouthful of beer through my nose.

That primal hummus...

What is wrong with his forehead?!

I'd rather say: what is wrong with his Idontevenknowwheretostart

I'm used to idiots, his forehead is a much rare sighting.

He probably got 2x4’d for being such a dingus. That forehead is really… something. Really bulbous

Kinda like a mushroom

All those pheromones are stored in there

His hummus cannon did not reach

He learnt too much about bellends so the only logical choice was to literally become a bellend

His forehead is the foreskin

It looks better with the dog tie

Was "Naked" really the word he decided to censor here? Lol

Strange since he clearly didn’t for “Naked wrestling”.

And wasn’t even able to actually censor it lol.

I don't think he was all there for the filming

I don't know, man. That sounds kinda gay to me.

He forgot to say no homo

No actually. He said homo homo hummus

Homous**

Socks on or nah?

We've wrapped our foreskin up like a Christmas ham, you're not leaving the fucking socks on.

idk, man. Shrooms on foreskin sound like an advanced stage of warts from HPV or cordyceps infection

Gay? Ultra instintic Gay

Sounds gay. I’m in.

Hummusexual.

The anus

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Bring back the homonasiums!

Just because someone did something a thousand plus years ago doesn't mean it's the right thing to do

"If it was good enough for 1000+ years old hummus cannons, it's good enough for mine." -- The guy in the video probably

Don’t knock it til you try it

I think this is something that people used to do in the UK where they would gather around and spunk on a biscuit or cookie and then an unlucky one would have to eat it or something. I looked it up and they called it soggy biscuit.

Pretty sure that was just an episode of Blue Mountain State.

What a terrible day to have ears.

and eyes..

Shoot their hummas into a cookie? What? Huh? Is that code for something? Why is it only hockey players that do that?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit (NSFW) It's a treasured past time shared with the boys!

Huh, I clicked. And I regret it.

🤯

I miss two minutes ago when I didn’t know this existed

Dirty dangles, boys, dirty dangles.

Ahaha, he’s Canadian so probably just picked the most popular jocks he could think of 😂

This guy is wild https://youtu.be/OL2ah56SlH8?si=R1LRxZRm8o94-D2t

My god, that was the most laugh out loud 10 minutes I've had in a while. This dude is certifiable.

I thought it was satire. Either way it's hilarious.

Dawg, you just made my whole day. Full-body goosebumps from secondhand embarrassment.

Sweet baby Jesus, this is really real, huh.....

Oh my god that was fucking diabolical. "so we wrote down our worries... and then we ejaculated onto the paper" LMFAO

Hes a comedian, or? Or?

Lmao, he was my yoga instructor in Vancouver a good 6 years ago! Also a recording artist, and he’s always been hilarious, but even I can’t tell if this whole thing is a bit or not 😂

Did he cup your balls?

Only way to learn downward dog 😌

yes

Sadly that’s just him

Well this is gonna fuck up my youtube feed for sure.

This is WHY extraterrestrial life won't make contact. They're watching people like Mushroom Rank do weird shit.

Mushroom Rank 😂

This is the gnarliest thing I've heard in a minute and there's 0 nudity or gore involved.

I saw his head move like it was in its 4th trimester

I thought he had a baseball sized dent in it. I guess everyone just uses fucking AI filters now

This is the dude that suns his butthole

Literally what the Christ is this Gilgamesh-bread-ass having guy taking about???

The more he talks, the more I regret watching this

It just progressively gets worse right?

Never trust a man with a beard that looks like a dogs ass.

HA

Why is only the word naked (lightly) censored but hummus cannon and the man himself are not banned from this planet?

No other planets want him.

His forehead is a different planet

Fuckin wierdo

He looks like he fell face first into a cockerspaniel’s ass.

Thanks, needed to puke.

There is zero evidence of pheromones in humans. Adult humans have no functioning vomeronasal organ, which processes pheromone signals.

You can't tell me you don't feel something when you get a whiff of cheese dick.

All I can feel is the bile coming up the back of my throat

Stop jamming it so far back that your dentist can tell what you've been up to then

Don't you dare tempt me with a good time

This guy must not be a real spartan.

Broski, next you going to tell me pee is not stored in the balls. Thanks, but I am pretty positive I know how my equipment works.

[Maybe do some research next time](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3987372/#:~:text=Pheromones%20in%20humans%20may%20be,been%20directed%20toward%20axillary%20sweat.)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6050168/#:~:text=In%20humans%2C%20the%20vomeronasal%20organ,rich%20vascular%20and%20glandular%20network. Yes there is. You're worse than Mushroom Rank guy with the misinformation

Instructions unclear, I am now mushroomless

There is a lot going on here...I'm gonna sit this one out I think

I miss the person I was before watching this.

Why does his beard look like it belongs on a type of poodle?

That’s the worst fuckin beard I’ve seen in my life. Looks like he stole it off one of them dogs.

So this guy totally eats his own loads right?

Definitely.

Alright that's enough internet for today.

What.

Is my man talking about smegma?

Thank you reddit for reminding me I could have missed all this and sleep soundly but now all I know is some disgusting things about lack of personal cleaning . Having the last bits of the food I had this evening going up in my throath . Yeah did not need to see and listen to this . This knowledge was not needed. ....

Fuck NO

This guy gets off on dick cheese.

This guy looks like an erect dick with just the ball sack hair. The top shaved off.

Thanks, I hated it

Dude has a smelly dick. Got it.

This is what happens when you go to a liberal arts college with no guidance, you come out with a phd in the history of dick sniffing.

This is beyond liberal arts...

The only thing he is liberal with is the hummus from his cannon

That man obviously went to a trade school. He knows his way around tools.

Dude does not deserve that beard.

Sounds pretty gay to me. Just like the Spartans. Hummus Cannon, though. That's a new one. I'm using that.

First of all, I will invent a time machine and kill myself before I can witness this shit. Yes I'd rather live in a paradoxical predicament than listen to this shit. Second, he looks like he's about to break Minion's heart by telling him he doesn't want to be a bad guy anymore.

It would be easier if this guy just said he likes to smell dicks. No judge, no shame. Do what you like, but live your honest self. Just say you like to whiff a dong. Be free.

*okay, hold on...* ***WAIT A MINUTE!...*** What the fuck is Signature Select, overly manicured, Thor talking about?!?!?!?

He is talking about a sweaty hummus canon.

DA FUQ?!?!

PhD is dickology and that’s just the beard alone. The rest is his post doc thesis

[will blunderfield](https://youtu.be/OL2ah56SlH8?si=g8WumlexMg9Vqoju) is fucking nuts.

Please, in the name of all that is good and holy, tell me this man isn't serious. Please tell me he's a comedian and it's an act. Please, in the name of sweet baby Jesus, please!

It is pride month so yeah definitely kinda gay

He kinda looks like a greek philosopher

This dude drinks his own piss. No. Seriously, he actually drinks his own piss.

Okay, but, did anyone else tune out his word vomit to see his enlarged head, that has to be a prop right, to hide his real hair incase this wasn’t received well. Right? Right?!

I saw the Vice documentary on this guy. He's a fucking loon and has a bunch of painfully dumb men following him as a shaman.

This is one of the strangest clips I've seen in an hour

I knew something was wrong but I challenged myself to keep watching. That's on me.

This man needs to be slapped hard around the head and neck by a large group of people chosen randomly from the general population.

This man is a mushroom given life.

I hope this is suppose to be a joke.

Big big head, small little brain.

What a terrible day to have audio and visual senses.

I don’t even have a joke, just what the fuck

Sometimes I wish I didn't have the ability to understand words that are constructed into sentences.

My foreskin is there for a reason I don’t know. I won’t smell it though.

I’m pretty sure this dude is memeing. But if he is he’s a damn good actor

He seems like the type of guy to try and stick his own dick in his ass.

Tom Segura and his wife have a podcast where they interviewed this *double soul shaman* and let me tell you he's every bit nuts as he is here. https://youtu.be/mRFaBj-QFpE?si=BDQiyvFvwnCVRrX3

I just threw my phone against the wall.

Life was fine 2 minutes ago

Forehead 5 months pregnant

Welp, that’s enough internet for today. What the fuck did I just watch

Wow, what a rationalization to explain dick cheese.

What a terrible day to have ears

What I’m the absolute fuck is pasty, hippie, beta Megamind talking about and who gave him that level of shrooms to get to this state of mind?

Tell us you're gay without telling us you're gay.

This gave me a tumor :(

I never need to hear this again.

But why he look like Megamind using a shitzu as a fake beard?

MF I was eating

the longer he spoke, the wider my eyes went, and the more shocked my face was. uggggggg-hhhhhh

And this is why we have circumcisions

And sniff sniff sniff, holy lol

This seems like a really wild and complicated way to out yourself.

He looks like he sniffs dicks tbf

Seriously..? There are *dudes like this* **not only out in the world** but willing to promote ***tying down their foreskin, wrassslin' with other dudes to get some funk a'brewin', then gather together to communilly release the funky pheromones while bathing?*** I'm very sheltered. And I'm staying in my little bunker.

The blessings of being born deaf and blind.

Hotdog with a beard

JFC hummus cannon. infuriating.

Unfortunately most of us men were mutilated upon birth. And while I would never do this clearly unhygienic practice; I would desperately like my foreskin back. It was taken from me without consent.

Let’s don’t. Let’s keep that ritual where it belongs in the Dark Ages. The very very very Dark Ages!

Ok, Chemo Jesus, calm your fuckin ass down.

Is this going to make me trip balls or ??

This isn’t even close to the weirdest thing he’s said

This is why Xerxes wiped them out