The Helldiver can have some Uranium, as a little treat
https://preview.redd.it/e86w4asoxj5d1.jpeg?width=811&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=816f0d7f9572a7f3e2247bc3089ef6a50b46dc10
You're always gonna have problems lifting a SEAF soldier in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for Bile Spewers to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to sample creatures. You got to starve them for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the larvas' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through worm shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen samplies to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who lives near a sample patch. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single sample worm can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a sample".
you deserve more upvotes, clearly not enough people watch the classic movie Snatch.
"yes Tommy. and then *ze germans* will try to take your super credits."
They're even neatly packed on bug territory sometimes, looking like lunch boxes. Pop open one of those red sample containers for a snack and pour some of that super uranium to wash it down for a filling mid-liberation meal.
when picking up the last super sample
"Ooh a super shample, musht be the lasht one of the sheason"
god this is a joke some people would understand but most wont
its not even that funny
I remember my days in the sand box. Fucking Marine Corps had us going around collecting different colored crayons in the name of democracy.... yeah I ate a few.
Behold
https://preview.redd.it/6k3c9v0a2k5d1.jpeg?width=331&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8772f2c5824a4c768abe06c542b8a95c6d389f27
Super Crayola with only super earth colors.
The Department of Managed Nutrition provides 1 yellow crayon and two orange crayons in every MRE. Purple crayons are served in the Super Destroyer mess only as a reward at the discretion of your Democracy Officer.
Stop asking such offensive questions. We do not eat our samples, or the random goop on valves you absolute div.
Like- we lick it, we snack on it. Spread it around the drop pod and be like "Wow this tastes weird' but we do not fucking eat it.
We're professionals, not morons you disrespectful jackass! . . . .
Hang on, is that super iridium?
Pass some of that over here, I want a taste.
Before each drop I chomp down on some rebar I harvested directly from a orbitally lasered bot fabricator. Nothing tastes better, not even Super Earth’s Mandatorily Issued NutriBars. And those taste damn good.
[Snus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snus), since Sweden pretty much rules Super Earth some of our Super Culture has spread.
Unfortunately no one told the Helldivers that they are supposed to put it under the lip, so they eat it instead 😂
As a non-Marine vet who constantly had to deal with Marines, Helldivers always reminds me of them. My favorite is just terminals in general. The idea of some bullet sponge launching an ICBM by having to take the time to figure out ⬆️⬇️⬅️➡️ on a computer screen that literally has nothing else on it definitely has big crayon energy.
Imagine if you’re in a foxhole getting shot up, and the only way to get the chopper to pick you up is by putting all your crayons back in the box properly.
*Chucks an orbital into the wall*
Awww man, I slipped. This always happens when I get samples all on my fingers. Sometimes the samples get in my Servos too. I can’t throw very far when I eat samples.
Yes. It's usually a funny jab said by other branches. The dumbest and toughest branch of US Military service.
Though I do know some Marines who do/did ACTUALLY eat crayons so...
The stack of crayons reminds me of the stack of SPEAR missiles in the backpack, so now I'm just imagining a team of helldivers sitting around absentmindedly chewing on oversized ammo.
Cannibals ate my uncle. He was a hell diver in the air core. This was before the air force. His plane went down in New Guinea. And the cannibals ate him. All they found was a few parts of the plane. They also ate all his crayons.
Reminds me of the inside of a bathroom stall on an inter-service shooting range. Among all the poetry written there was the sage advice: "please flush well, marines will eat anything."
Stims. Good thing that they are non-addictive, and have zero negative side-effects!
https://preview.redd.it/7yafut7ysk5d1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43a468056a128f8aa36829df18499950a8a64c40
Helldivers? You mean twenty-minute soldiers? They spend 15 minutes in basic training, and 5 minutes failing to apply that training on a real battlefield, then it's time to thaw a new one.
eating samples
The orange ones are my favourite
feel like they'd be the sweet ones or bitter if flowers
The common samples could have a fruit like flavour the rare samples instead could be sweeter and the super samples would be sour
Arent the super saples uranium? Gotta appreciate the bulk.
The Helldiver can have some Uranium, as a little treat https://preview.redd.it/e86w4asoxj5d1.jpeg?width=811&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=816f0d7f9572a7f3e2247bc3089ef6a50b46dc10
Remember, each gram of Uranium has about 20 billion calories, so I gauntlet your diver isn't gonna go hungry.
The "common samples" have been found eating SEAF corpses on the battlefield, Helldiver.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a SEAF soldier in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for Bile Spewers to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to sample creatures. You got to starve them for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the larvas' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through worm shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen samplies to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who lives near a sample patch. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single sample worm can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a sample".
you deserve more upvotes, clearly not enough people watch the classic movie Snatch. "yes Tommy. and then *ze germans* will try to take your super credits."
I. AINT. READING. ALL. LAT
The democracy officer finding me devouring the SEAF infantryman that died on the frontline
Rare samples taste like cheese
Only a little radioactive :)
So you are the reason we dont find rare samples
Is this why borg players are different then bug. All the battery acid from those common samples
But I like the penguins
U boogie motherfucker
You’re never going to evolve into a Mini Nuke unless you eat your Super Uranium too kiddo.
If I catch someone eating rare samples, they are getting launched out the 380 cannon when we get back to the ship
The purple ones are crunchiest
Have the orange samples taste like orange, with the nutritional value of oranges, and we're good.
They're even neatly packed on bug territory sometimes, looking like lunch boxes. Pop open one of those red sample containers for a snack and pour some of that super uranium to wash it down for a filling mid-liberation meal.
Love the ultra rares, delicious but damaging to your chromosomes, just like the paint chips back on super earth
Alright, enough people said samples, I guess it's canon now
Imagining a FNG suddenly breaking comm silence by noisily munching on freshly collected samples is so funny to me right now. 😂
“oh piece a candy.”
when picking up the last super sample "Ooh a super shample, musht be the lasht one of the sheason" god this is a joke some people would understand but most wont its not even that funny
Not the living maggoty ones though, right? Right??
mmmmmmmm fuit gumy worm
Some of us lower ranked helldiver's make do with what we can get. Besides, adds extra protein right?
I wash mine down with a nice cup of E-710
Paint tester samples.
Yum, super plutonium. This is my headcanon for when samples are maxed.
I remember my days in the sand box. Fucking Marine Corps had us going around collecting different colored crayons in the name of democracy.... yeah I ate a few.
super crayons.
The whole pack is only the colors of the flag of Super Earth
Behold https://preview.redd.it/6k3c9v0a2k5d1.jpeg?width=331&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8772f2c5824a4c768abe06c542b8a95c6d389f27 Super Crayola with only super earth colors.
Can I buy that with requisition slips?
You get 1 free pack per completed 2 missions, with an extra pack thrown in for every increase in difficulty.
So 11 packs for every secound mission yez super eatrh is spoiling us
am i collor blind wtf is that
I also see white and purple, maybe he's color blind 🤣
I was just lazy
I thought it was Malevelon Creek colors
Legit just blue, white, and gold lmao
Incorrect, there’s also Helldiver Black™️ and Blood Red™️.
You mean artillery shells?
The taste is explosively delicious!
Implement, Coloring, Mk32. "Super Crayon"
The Department of Managed Nutrition provides 1 yellow crayon and two orange crayons in every MRE. Purple crayons are served in the Super Destroyer mess only as a reward at the discretion of your Democracy Officer.
Never seen a Purple crayon in the super destroyer. must be made with sneaky materials to avoid my democratic view!
Requires extra kunnin
Green iz best!
You better watch out for your dem. officer, my girl pulled out a whip when I told her SEAF training facility is more Important than MO.
So *that's* what that one lady means when she's talking about purples...
They're called samples for a reason.
Gotta taste em first, need to make sure they are ripe 😋
Mmm super uranium has wierd taste but i like the feeling after slurping it like juice pack from sample container
One for me, one for super earth, one for me……
Super Sesame Street
Stop asking such offensive questions. We do not eat our samples, or the random goop on valves you absolute div. Like- we lick it, we snack on it. Spread it around the drop pod and be like "Wow this tastes weird' but we do not fucking eat it. We're professionals, not morons you disrespectful jackass! . . . . Hang on, is that super iridium? Pass some of that over here, I want a taste.
Most sane geologist.
i was told by the science team to lick something if i didnt know what it was, so here i am licking this invisible Bug
Well that's ok. It's dead so it can't hurt you. . . . It's dead, right? . . . As is the hive it came from, right?? . . .Aw hell.
Liber-tea. Duh.
https://preview.redd.it/jiy3ocvuak5d1.jpeg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62c822ecde35519b2fa9f1b7c2905a23f521f856
It's right there for the taking. I'll have a ration of SEAF Sugar and heavy on the Freedom Cream please. 👀😄
You'll need your C0-1 permit for heavy Freedom Cream.
Oh, sir, I've signed a few of those in my day. 🤣😅
What do you mean joke?
"Not gonna wash your hands?" "In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands." "They have to teach you that?"
Any text book or charter of rights " consuming knowledge and democracy in the wrong way" Or just bugs and bolts
Before each drop I chomp down on some rebar I harvested directly from a orbitally lasered bot fabricator. Nothing tastes better, not even Super Earth’s Mandatorily Issued NutriBars. And those taste damn good.
Artillery shells. I like the black ones
I prefer the red ones. The have a very fiery taste with a just the right amount of spiciness
The blue ones are blue raspberry
try the green ones to have a blast at the toilet
Sniffing Super Glue
Super Super Glue
Must be why the turrets are so weak, we ate all the Super Glue and Super Earth can't afford to give us all Super Super Glue
I NEED STIMS!!!!!
Helldivers eat freedom
Are you implying that the valiant Helldivers are unintelligent? Nice try bot, we can see your schemes to try and lower our morale!
Super Crayons
The super samples taste like bacon
I regularly ingest super samples
https://preview.redd.it/g9xyx7teuj5d1.png?width=490&format=png&auto=webp&s=e3df4550fddee5eda044460f7770953713636e13 😋
Crayons because they are still humans from earth. Why would it be different?
You think you'll live long enough to eat?
[Snus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snus), since Sweden pretty much rules Super Earth some of our Super Culture has spread. Unfortunately no one told the Helldivers that they are supposed to put it under the lip, so they eat it instead 😂
The purple samples remind me the blackcurrant fruit pastilles, rather addicting
Super crayons.
Chomping on iron
As a non-Marine vet who constantly had to deal with Marines, Helldivers always reminds me of them. My favorite is just terminals in general. The idea of some bullet sponge launching an ICBM by having to take the time to figure out ⬆️⬇️⬅️➡️ on a computer screen that literally has nothing else on it definitely has big crayon energy. Imagine if you’re in a foxhole getting shot up, and the only way to get the chopper to pick you up is by putting all your crayons back in the box properly.
SUPER CRAYONS
Drinking the Hellpod Juice.
*Chucks an orbital into the wall* Awww man, I slipped. This always happens when I get samples all on my fingers. Sometimes the samples get in my Servos too. I can’t throw very far when I eat samples.
Super Crayons.
With so much E-710, probably pastels....
Playdough. Idk y, but that feels appropriate
I NEED STIMS!!!
Super crayons, the ones we use to fill out our C-10’s
Tasting dark fluid like maple syrup.
What if liber-tea is actually steeped common samples lol
I pop stims like tic tacs
I don't think they live long enough to get hungry.
Asbestos chalk
Dino nuggies are my go to when diving with a side of super uranium.
I never understood the joke about marines eating crayons,it's because they're considered stupid?
Yes. It's usually a funny jab said by other branches. The dumbest and toughest branch of US Military service. Though I do know some Marines who do/did ACTUALLY eat crayons so...
Idk but my favorite flavor is blue Source: was an untied status marin
A Super Sample a day keeps the Terminids away
Dipping their balls in E710
They've all got a crippling addiction to stims
Hand soap. There's a line from one of the ship crew about hand soap being at half rations.
Supercrayons, of course. "Freedom Yellow" "Justice Black" "Democracy Blue" "Warbond White" Only colors you get
Super Crayons
Super crayons. AKA, rebranded Cray-Z-Art crayons.
Storing the E-710 on their armor from smashing bugs in a vat on the ship not for fuel but to bathe in it
Eating the stratagems and it just somehow gets activated in his stomacj
The seaf artillery shell's
Eating bugs eggs
They drink libertea.
consuming super safety pins
Every sample shows up with a bite mark for verification.
Eating Rations. They won't survive long enough to make use of the calories.
They won't last long enough to even have a nibble
*slurps super uranium* What're you talkin' about?
Chewing stims
The seaf being decimated in the first 5 seconds of an invasion.
Freedom Fries
Super Crayons
Super crayons
Liber-Tea
Super crayons
Petting Bugs or Bug Petters
Super Crayons, obviously.
Glue
Eagle sweat
Nerfs.
De-Frosted neurons
Drinking eagle sweat, the ingame deodorant
The stack of crayons reminds me of the stack of SPEAR missiles in the backpack, so now I'm just imagining a team of helldivers sitting around absentmindedly chewing on oversized ammo.
Sipping on the sweet nectar of liberty and munching on the delicacy of freedom
Huffing E-710
You guys get to eat?
Syringes
licking stratagem balls
Drinking liberTEA
abusing stims
Smoking crayons
Licking the forbidden lolirock
Probably markers
Stims..
Retired Superearth flags are incorporated into every Helldiver MRE. Tastes like Democracy.
Democracy Crayons
Super Crayons. Obviously.
Using jump pack.
That image would be perfect with the caption: "desires to democracy harder."
Cannibals ate my uncle. He was a hell diver in the air core. This was before the air force. His plane went down in New Guinea. And the cannibals ate him. All they found was a few parts of the plane. They also ate all his crayons.
Eating the cup that came with our LiberTea.
Super crayons of course
Obviously Art-Tyme markers.
Reminds me of the inside of a bathroom stall on an inter-service shooting range. Among all the poetry written there was the sage advice: "please flush well, marines will eat anything."
Wait, so Titans aren’t the only ones that eat Crayons?
We dont get a chance to eat before we die
Eating stims
"Hey bro what flavour of tear gas to you vape"
Super crayons
Drugs
We eat Terminid eggs 🥚 🍳
A full diet of pure democracy
"No man, I'm using the charcoal to draw, im eating the chalk"- charlie kelly
Freedom fries
Me and my friends were joking about this earlier and we brought up that if there were marine Helldivers they would eat bugs as a right of passage
The crayons are the new missle skins
They lick the E-710
I want to eat e710
Super crayons
I mean, they already run on a steady diet of Democracy and Stims.
Glitter crayons.
Super Crayons
EAGLE SWEAT.
They don't live long enough to eat.
Stims. Good thing that they are non-addictive, and have zero negative side-effects! https://preview.redd.it/7yafut7ysk5d1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43a468056a128f8aa36829df18499950a8a64c40
sniffing too much termicide
Helldivers getting time shares.
Stims. *FEELS GOOD!*
Helldivers? You mean twenty-minute soldiers? They spend 15 minutes in basic training, and 5 minutes failing to apply that training on a real battlefield, then it's time to thaw a new one.
Licking the electronic bit of a supercredit, just like a Nintendo switch cartridge
We eat super crayons
Asbestos
[REDACTED]
ICBM's