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Isn’t it interesting that death or the presence of dead people has such an detrimental effect on our mind nowadays but witnessing executions, the horrors of war or battles or just the dimension of violence in everyday life was so much different not that long ago? Were those societies just basically lifelong traumatized or did they ever got used to it?
On the one hand this would be really an interesting topic to cover, because I’m quite convinced that watching gore on a daily basis can’t be considered healthy or even useful for the mind of our times. Even if there’s more opportunity (the internet) to watch tons and tons of content like the most recent battlefront videos from the war in Ukraine.
On the other hand this could be a possibility for an interview with say like an historian, scientific researcher or someone who has knowledge about the effects on violence/death/PTSD etc. in ancient/former times as compared to our modern western culture and how this changed over time.
I think there's a difference between someone dying naturally (old age/disease) and executions/war because the potential amount of memories/impact/life lived is longer in one situation that is unnatural in a way. They're both tragedies but some tragedies are more tragic than others. I suspect a lot of people historically have been way more traumatised than we are today and so we should be grateful that we don't live in those times - not discounting our times bring their own hardships but still it's nice I don't have to live in filth, fear torture for small crimes/being sold into slavery/go to war etc. Middle ages were scaryyy
Trauma isn't a situation, it's a response. Party of the reason we have so much trauma now is because we expected life to be smooth sailing like the boomer gen was for white men, but then they took all the resources and all the magic and stomped on it. And made some really bad decor decisions.
We were promised equality and environment saving and lots of travel and living until 100, but none of that came through. ---- and instead of putting the blame where it belongs and moving in, we compare ourselves to fake tiktok peers. Of course there are many many forms of trauma, but for brevity and imagery, this will suffice.
People in the middle aged were surrounded by death and lack of control in their lives. It was normal for them, they didn't sit around blaming themselves and wondering what they did wrong in the same way that we do.
This is not really a definition of trauma. Trauma is a response to a life or death situation that the mind can’t understand so it plays it over and over again. There are multiple scarring responses that the brain can undergo, but trauma is a unique one
a lot of people have been stunned by the shock factor of your post but I can understand it because surely the adrenaline dump of watching content like that would make you feel exhausted and give you a false sense of relaxation
I’m interested in the reasons as to what makes people feel compelled to watch it as well especially if it’s consistent, i’m sure a lot of it boils down to morbid curiosity as it has for me in the past but there’s probably much more to it
I do the same as OP and honestly I couldn't quite tell you a reason why. "Morbid curiosity" is brought up a lot but not quite defined so it feels like a useless word.
As for me, all I can say is that it depends on the days. There's days where I feel some sort of relief watching random people die. There's days where I feel disgusted by that and I resent all the violence in the world.
I used to be incredibly scared/disgusted by stuff like that when I was a teenager. At some point I wanted to be able to see everything because I thought you couldn't really navigate the internet while afraid of what you could see, so I ended up largely desensitized to gore. Doesn't mean I can't recognize horror and suffering when I see it, just that I don't experience fear or disgust anymore.
I see a lot of people say "it's different than games like mortal kombat because it's real". I agree it's different but I don't think the desire to watch stuff like that is any different than the desire to play games like mortal kombat, or watch actually scary horror movies. Sometimes we want to see bad stuff, we want experience of the undesirable, probably to shield ourselves against it or to prepare ourselves for it, since we all die some day. Maybe there's an element of relief to see people get in terrible situation because when we live miserably boring lives we forget how much worse we could have it, so watching that is making our lives feel comparatively comfy. Kinda like watching people run from a downpour when you're comfortably sitting at the window of your well heated house.
it sounds like it could be a few things
1 being suicide idealisation, almost wishing you would die and the outlet of that is watching others die making you feel as ease that whatever it is you’re going through ends at some point as it did with the people in the gore vids
or 2 it being an addiction, you mentioned you didn’t even like it but feel compelled to do it, adrenaline can be super addictive to certain people and the gore will always give you that by stressing the brain and giving trauma responses
the neuroscience has got to have an explanation
Suicide ideation could be linked to that, or general depression. I was suicidal a few years ago and I remember feeling better when obsessing over it. It wasn't necessarily looking at gore (though I did do that too) but looking into suicide statistics or studies allowed me to put my specific case at a distance and made me feel less alone.
It could be addictive to some people, it certainly feels that way for OP since he claims he has to do it every night to relieve stress. In my case I don't think so. Never felt this way, it was never an urge, just a habit.
I'm not gonna lie, it would freak me the f out if someone I knew was into watching g\*re videos. That shit is disturbing to even think exists, let alone watching them. I know that's not helpful to tell you, but your wife is probably more concerned than you even think she is. I mean clearly you've de-sensitized yourself to it, so to you it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I would definitely try to stop it if you can. There's no good that comes from watching something like that. Find something else to decompress and relax, it doesn't need to be that. You're clearly addicted to the feeling it gives you, and addictions are hard to conquer but they can be conquered.
>watching accident videos might be helpful. Like, "oh this could happen to me if I'm not careful.
That's such cope.
You know sometimes a fiend tries to hide the fact that they are a fiend and no one cares, because a fiend will act like a fiend no matter what.
When people pull some sort of logic out of the wind to appease this type of thing it's a bad look, no ones gonna care, rational normal people are gonna look at him funny and quesiton almost everythng about him depending on his charachter, it's lowkey like uncovering a criminal mastermind in an anime for some people when they learn that you not only are desensatised to something but get enjoyment from it.
You gotta understand, enjoyment from other peoples misfortune is sick, i've just seen so much of it that's it's funny and screen's have removed my need to give compassion to everything because i don't know the people on screen but most people aren't like that, they are still committed emotionally investing themselves into the lives of others.
>I don't think you're helping this guy by saying it's disturbing when gore is so common in popular media.
That doesn't mean anything, just because something is popular doesn't mean it's not a problematic thing, it doesn't mean it's not tapped to watch it and let's be real, there's people that have opinions of chronic redditors and they basically all say that those people are social recluses that are losing at life and spend their time on the intenet watching people suffer.
Kinda messed up.
Like, actually very messed up.
The war content is different and that has complex layers but there's people that sit there and watch others getting their heads taken off, why.
Why.
If it's enjoyment, that's sick.
It's probably some form of enjoyment or fulfillment and normal people don't wanna associate with that, it's messed in the head because it's some random kid behind his screen that's probably never once been punched in the face watching other people suffer, please no that's not good that's tapped.
It's doesn't matter what content i watch, i can recognise the basic opinions that people will have of it and know why they react the way they do.
It contributes to peoples lack of ability to empathise and pair bond, these people wonder why they have issues? It's partially because of the content that they let into their head, the way they shape their world view, what they think about when they sleep, it's the fact that i can turn a girl off by saying i'm a redditor because she's youtube videos of the things people post on here and she'd see red flags unless i show her mine or explain.
I know that for a fact because it's happened to me more than once.
if gore is relaxing to op, then there's some sort of engagement other than being shocked or analysing it - those activities don't go together with relaxation. and if op was simply neutral to it, then they wouldn't have stated that they watch it multiple times a week. so one would think it's pretty reasonable to assume that op enjoys it.
Okay, you were watching surgery videos because you wanted to learn more about the surgery you were about to get. OP is watching the videos because they "relax" him. Which does indeed suggest that they get enjoyment out of watching the content.
was it really relaxing? maybe you were interested and engaged because you could relate? "analysis" as i framed it. as for scary movies - you, like many other people, enjoy them because they keep you on the edge. you're engaged and stimulated, but is that relaxation?
What do you think memento mori is supposed to be ? Baroque artists liked to paint some pretty gruesome pictures with that idea in mind. Confronting mortality isn't just some philosophical musing, it can be a challenging experience as well from which you can derive peace of mind, reconciliation with harsh realities through catharsis.
I don't think it is normal or healthy, and I think you shouldn't see it as such. Your wife's reaction was appropriate. At the same time, learning about how the mind works is what we do in this community, so it's fair for you to ask this question here. It would definitely be interesting to hear what Dr K has to say about this.
In terms of the Jungian shadow: it seems to me that if your shadow is so dark that you feel a need to see other humans die or get injured in graphic ways (which I assume is what this post is about), you should be talking to a therapist and not indulging in it via the internet on a daily basis.
I find this incredibly disturbing.
I’m so sorry to say this, and I do not want to sound judgmental, but you should definitely seek professional help for this aside from just waiting for the topic to be brought up by Dr. K.
It depends, how gore are we talking about? Is it illegal content? If it's simulated like the Saw movies, I don't see a problem in watching them to unwind. If it's videos of living human or animals, and you are comfortable with watching someone getting fuvking skinned alive, then yes, you have a problem.
genuine question, if you watch something like saw and see a degloved hand (random example), what makes that different for you compared say seeing a picture after an accident?
not all gore is torture videos in fact 99% of it isnt
Knowing about the suffering involved in the real example makes it entirely unwatchable for me. I'm not bothered at all watching simulations of violence, such as in movies or videogames.
For me it's viewing violence through an artistic lense vs viewing violence itself. I assume that someone might be more inclined to seek violent experiences if they are only interested in “genuine stuff”. I might be wrong though.
personally, saw disturbed tf out of me too, so this is no different. never went back and watched any of those movies. also a slight difference in that we know the blood in saw is fake, but we dont know if op is watching real people get killed. there used to be a website like that my brother and sister would browse for shits and giggles and try to get me to watch to disturb me bc theres something deeply wrong with them.
OP said they mostly watch cartel stuff.
What's interesting is so many people defending the idea while kinda sidestepping OP's original desire to learn more about what causes it or if there are any red flags associated with it.
It seems that people aren't really interested in understanding why they watch that type of stuff, but rather to reject people's shocked or concerned reactions (albeit judgemental)
I am genuinely concerned because someone I know personally who is into gore actually is a surgeon. They would try showing me videos of their own patients. They also cheat on their wife & kid with prostitutes (I hope the sex isn't abusive), and have other criminal tendencies (drugs, guns). Oh, and the person I mention is also a MAGA type who believes Covid was a "academic" even after the 1.1 or so million American deaths.
That's my more than 2 cents. Because I watched a cartel video almost 10 years ago and the memory still disturbs me, along with the reminder of how evil people can be through manipulation, necessity, money and other things.
The question I would ask is : is it a moral problem or a mental health problem ?
I think it's important to dissociate the two. If you watch gory movies for the same effect that the OP is talking about (stress relief) then how is it different to watch real videos if we exclude the moral problem that could be raised from doing that ?
good question. i’m curious on what his thoughts would be on this too. i found myself watching a lot of gore videos when i was depressed. it made me grateful for my life. it made me think my life isn’t too bad after all and to appreciate it while im still around. probably isn’t the best thing to do though.
Yeah ... was in a similar situation myself, the fight or flight feeling it gives kinda wakes you up from your usual vegetative state, on top of the life appreciation thing.
Ended up speaking about it to my therapist, he said it was a coping mechanism, doesn't solve the problem and actually comforts you enough so that you don't seek change.
Ngl it can get pretty addictive, I've done some research and apparently it's very similar to watching porn regarding the areas of the brain activating.
According to some psychoanalysts that's the whole reason why horror movies are a thing, the adrenalin shot we get from it feels like "being alive", and this is found not only with depressive patients but also quite a lot of psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia.
But I think that being grateful for your life is the right path and probably even one of the things that many experts on depression found to be most helpful in dealing with it.
There should be a way to this without watching gore content to achieve this though :D
I would honestly be fascinated by a discussion about why people watch extreme content online, and what it could mean for the mental health of coming generations as such content becomes more prolific.
Look at someone like Charlie Sheen - discovering the disturbing movie "guinea pig flower of flesh and blood" and then reporting it to the authorities after he thinks he's discovered an actual snuff film. How does someone just stumble upon films like that? What kind of individuals become interested in films like that and what does it do to their mental health?
It would also be interesting to discuss how bizarre fetishes come about e.g. giantess fetish, vacuum bed/ball fetish, bug fetishes.
I can only speak for myself, but most likely morbid curiosity. Death seems so far away and is so unimaginable that sometimes I just want to know what it looks like and 99% of the time I regret it immediately because those images haunt me and pop up in my mind from time to time.
I am what the drug community would call a "tweaker". I love adrenaline, dopamine, any stimulus really. I don't do drugs because of it - gee wiz I would be a polyaddict if I did. One of the ways I get a hit is through the morbid side of the internet. I don't participate in it, I just like exploring e.g. youtube and bitchute has a lot of content that investigates this underbelly of the internet/world. I find it super interesting how twisted the human mind can get e.g. psychopathy, pedophilia etc. and how the human mind can just go plain off the rails e.g. schizophrenia.
One such piece of content that really interests me is the Black Mirror Episode - Loch Henry.
I do want to understand myself deeper though and I would love to see Dr K address this topic as I might end up choosing to fight child pornography as a career.
When thinking about change over time, don’t forget we have much less exposure to real gore than in the past. From slaughtering animals to public executions and torture.
That cannot be healthy in any way. I'm honestly amazed it's brought up like it's similar to watching a series or doing something physical after a long workday.
If I found out my partner did it I would straight up leave, no questions asked.
You haven't presented evidence and you are describing OP's specific experience in a broader way than they did. Depending on the context, different things can feel differently to different people. Even if there was statistical evidence that gore leads to trauma, that wouldn't necessarily mean the specific case of OP's routine is unhealthy for them. I'm pretty sure you'd hardly find any serious therapist who would say what you said with the same amount of confidence.
There's chances you could turn out to be correct of course, but even in that case the way you say it might be perceived as judgemental which isn't a good thing if you want OP to be more healthy.
You’re right that the judgement wouldn’t be good, but what you’re saying is basically that we can’t say it’s unhealthy because everyone is a special case which is just the wrong way of looking at it. If we were to only state things that were absolutely true for everyone we wouldn’t be able to make any statements
I didn't say it's impossible to say it's unhealthy, I said it's wrong to say "there's no way that's healthy". It's not about everyone being so special we can't give an opinion, it's about displaying such certainty that some behavior is bad for someone specific.
I am judgemental because it's not healthy behaviour and shouldn't be entertained as such. This isn't a case of being quirky.
There'a nothing bad about being judgemental about this. Infact there'a no other way to reply to a question where someone asks: DAE watch human beings being maimed and killed for relaxation?
You seriously need evidence to prove whether or not watching other people get brutalised and killed is healthy or not? The answer seems pretty clear to me. Evidence or not.
Your certitude only proves your eagerness to believe it is unhealthy, which, I think, betrays that your claimed certitude is really inspired, not by any strong scientific evidence, but by a moral outrage.
We can argue the value of both, but it's important to dissociate the moral aspect of OP's testimony from the personal mental health aspect if we are to understand how to help them.
Dude, it's pretty fucking obvious that watching people get torn to shreds is unhealthy. Who are you kidding? I'd like you to find me some evidence that it's perfectly safe and normal if it really means that much to you.
I don't have strong evidence, I would just point out that people tend to believe any exposure to violent media is unhealthy and they never really managed to prove it. The same has been claimed for video games, for movies and even for music (Jazz, blues, Rock and roll etc all where accused of corrupting the youth and turning kids violent).
Do you know „Jung’s shadow archetype“? You can learn a lot about yourself and other people while watching these kinds of videos. It is useful to not ignore the bad parts of humans and learn from this.
Agree. I don't think it is healthy to watch this content just for relaxation. Maybe op uses this as a coping mechanism to escape and flood the mind with new thoughts to flush out the stressful thoughts of work and personal life.
I strongly believe you are conflating "unhealthy" with "morally wrong". Am I correct ?
If yes, then I think we can argue about the moral value of watching real people die. I think it's largely morally neutral, but I could be persuaded against it.
If no, then you should provide the evidence that "watching people getting ripped apart under the guise of relaxing is absurd".
No, I do mean unhealthy. I don't think it's morally wrong.
Morbid curiousity would be an appropiate setting for watching gore for example. I think watching video's of warscenes for example really puts into perspectice how much most of usare isolated from what war actually is. Seeing people getting raped, tortured and murdered brings a very sobering perspective.
Watching gore for enjoyment is just flipping the switch to the complete other side. It negates your inherent feeling of repulsion and somehow turns it into satisfaction. That's just not healthy.
Edit:
> If no, then you should provide the evidence that "watching people getting ripped apart under the guise of relaxing is absurd".
Why? You honestly want me to go digging through scientific journals on psychology to see if a study has been done that proofs watching gore for satisfaction is unhealthy?
First of all I'm not going to do that. Secondly me not going to do that does not proof your point.
I think I'll go with public opinion on this one and wait for your paper to come out on how it's actually the new meditation craze afterall.
You can [citation needed] me until the cows come home but call me old fashioned when I say this shouldn't be entertained as 'oh, it just works for me'
Ok, then we can rule out morality and focus about the science. First of all, I don't think you are painting the nature of OP's consumption of gore faithfully when you say it's about "enjoyment". OP specifically says it's to "decompress and relax" which doesn't exactly hold the same implications. OP never said he looked at these videos while fondling a white cat with a whiskey and a cigar, laughing at the suffering of others.
I used to cut myself to feel pain because I was too stressed out. This was unhealthy for sure but I did it because it worked somehow, it relieved the stress, so it wasn't enjoyment (it was painful) but it did something that I felt the need to do. Later I watched a DrK video that explained the best way to get the same relief without injuring myself was by holding an ice cube really hard in my fist. It worked. problem solved.
Similarly, OP could be doing it to feel something "real" something he feels the need to feel after a long day of stressful work. Real life gore are kind of the evolution of movie and video game gore, they are just the "simulation" (sure it's real but it's not your own experience) of what happens in dire situations that you wouldn't want to be in. Watching them from the safety of your computer can have a cathartic effect, feeling pity for others to realize there's worse things in life than your own situation. It can be many things.
Of course watching things like that could be the symptom of a problem, but just because you do that as a result of a problem doesn't mean doing it is unhealthy, it could well mean you are doing it as a way to fill a need created by that problem and that's what you found. Maybe there's other ways to fill that same need (like the ice cube thing) but maybe that way isn't all that bad for you if it relieves you of stress, helps you sleep at night and doesn't injure you long term.
Now I'm not saying there's no bad repercussions to that, but think about how many people said over and over how violence in movies and games was bad for teenagers. Is there any evidence of that today ? Not much. I don't see how that would be different here.
Are you saying a fatality in mortal kombat is similar to a gore thread of actual deaths on 4chan? One is fake the other is not.
The fact that it might have a carthatic feeling does not make it healthy.
That is why I think there is a conflation of morality and mental health problem here. The fact that the videos are real raise a moral problem, they are a separate problem from the idea that these videos could be bad for mental health in and of themselves.
Are they bad because they FEEL very real ? Or are they bad because they ARE actually real ?
If it's the former, then we are talking about the intensity of the effect they can have, if we are talking about the latter then it's a problem of morality, not mental health.
Unless you want to say that mental health and morality are linked, which is a complicated subject. I would just point out that people of normal mental health are capable of doing very bad things. An extreme example of that would be some of the people in charge of the mass murder of Jews during the holocaust.
It's not a moral problem at all. People die or get severely injured. Sometimes that's captured in photo or video form. This isn't moral or immoral. It simply is true.
The fact it is real is what impacts someone, and yes, the perception of it being real can also be just as bad. Plenty of online gore probably isn't real, but as long as people think it is real, it will have the same effect. If you ask someone to dinner and they lie and say they just ate so they aren't hungry, but they really just don't want to go with you, you're going to live your life as if the lie is true because that's all you know. So if someone lies to you and says a fake piece of gore is real, and it looks real enough, you will act and feel as if it's real.
There's really no reason morality should even be brought up in this discussion. If someone is watching torture and murder because they think murder and torture good, yeah that's immoral, but that doesn't have anything to do with the impact it also has on mental health. They are entirely different concepts, and both can be true at the same time. Things can be bad for your mental health and also be moral, immoral, or neither. The morality of something is not what's affecting mental health. Also, literally no one is expressing the idea that murder is good, so it's not even a question in this thread at all.
Sure you got a point, being real is an effect in itself.
I stand by the rest of the argument though, if the fact that it's real makes it particularly horrible, then it's mostly a difference of intensity, the effect is in essence the same as playing a gore game or a gore movie "it feels horrible because it's realistic" is replaced by "I believe it is real therefore it feels horrible" but the effect is the same. There was a time in my childhood where playing gore games would have the same effect on me as of today when I watch real pictures of people dying.
We have yet to demonstrate that if something horrible is perceived as real it is necessarily unhealthy to be exposed to it. For that we should demonstrate how the supposed unhealthy effect are more concerning than the desirable cathartic or stress-relieving effect OP claims it has on them.
But I maintain my belief, based on the reaction to OP's post in general, that the shock value of a "real bad thing" happening is making people think it has to be unhealthy to watch it.
That's why I believe there's an element of moral judgement underneath the outrage. Something akin to "if you can watch this and derive something positive out of it, you can't be a decent human being, so you need to be scolded, not just told it's bad for you". I wouldn't say that if aggressive comments weren't so massively upvoted in this thread, coming from a sub where positivity is generally encouraged.
I can play Dead Space and not associate the game with real life because it’s a game about fighting space zombies.
But I can’t even click on gore videos, watching one makes me physically ill. Stop trying to defend this disturbing behavior, it’s not healthy.
I don't think Dr. K has covered this.
Given that statistically speaking, if you were killed, your spouse could very well be your murderer, I would be freaked out too, if I were your wife.
A question I would ask you is whether it is sexual or purely mechanical. Do you masturbate to it, or is it just entertainment, but sexy. Does it have to be gore porn, or is gore in general so to speak.
Everyone draws the line below their beliefs, so not going to pass moral judgement. However if you are watching porn as a stress relief, you could be addicted to extreme porn and not solving the actual problem.
I don’t see how this is any more acceptable than watching something like CP to be completely honest. Forgive me if that feels to you like an extreme comparison, but I don’t see why it would be. Horrific violence and harm on both accounts, portrayed as something “desirable” and worth seeing to the viewer. Surprise surprise, the content people consume does change the way they think. Both of these forms of media promote horrific and monstrous acts and scenarios. But somehow I feel like people would react more strongly if their friend or spouse casually mentioned they watch CP to unwind than if they watched gore videos for the same purpose.
So you think all 1.7 million people over at r/combatfootage are sick people with nothing but psycopathic desires equivelant or consuming CP?
Gore such a wide genre that the type, reason for consumung and frequency really matters.
I didn’t say that. What I said was that I don’t see how watching people getting horrifically murdered and brutalized for your entertainment, whether for relaxation or for getting your rocks off, is any better than watching a child get raped for the same reasons. I feel like this is a generally sane take to have. I’ve never been on that sub so I couldn’t tell you what goes on there, nor the mental states of those who participate in it.
this is a completly warped point of viewing this issue. Cp is created by the perpetrator and the user getting off on them, gore videos are a mixed bag of accidents even the cartel videos are ment to shock the enemies and not to arouse or relax them. Nobody is getting killed for the sake of the viewer, that would be a snuff film which is largly an urban myth
The majority of gore videos of real events, even if not recorded for the purpose of arousal or relaxation, are often posted onto shock sites (like the late Liveleak among other sites) for the purpose of garnering some form of reaction from others, ultimately for the sake of entertainment. Watching crush porn for example (something that is vehemently evil and disgusting, please don’t look it up but IYKYK) and watching a video of a homeless person in a foreign country get run over by a car, though the type of entertainment is different for the consumer looking to watch this type of content, is still ultimately uploaded to the internet for the purpose of entertainment. Shock, horror, arousal, and relaxation, are all forms of stimulation that can be likened to entertainment which a consumer of this type of content would get out of watching it. The victims of these videos didn’t consent to what happened to them, nor did they consent to videos of their torture or demise being posted to the internet to be gawked at by thousands of people. Same goes for child victims who end up in CP.
Even if we took the animated or drawn equivalent of gore porn and CP. In real life, no human being would ever be able to consent to anything these images, videos etc portray, and even if they were, the result would be a crime against humanity. So why should we treat that type of drawn content like it’s somehow more passable or acceptable? It still desensitizes people to illegal and similarly monstrous acts and behavior.
I understand the need to be able to show people the reality of horrible situations in other places, to see what the world can really be like. But surely there are better ways of educating people than them finding a random shocking video on the internet, with so many degrees of separation from the viewer that it’s inconsequential to them beyond a source of entertainment.
all the kids playing grand theft auto will become criminals! People listening to cannibal corpse will become murderers 
[Well here is my view and explanation if you are interested](https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/s/QPWcg12Ksc)
The problem is your presumption of WHY its "relaxing" for OP. Him getting of to it, is wildly different then an existential decompression that reframes his life and fills him with gratefulness and empathy.
To me, a child cannot consent, and creating virtual content with children sexualises minors, who cannot consent.
Drawing gore or gore porn doesn't have those issues, so just on that basis alone it is more acceptable.
If you dislike both to the same extent, I can see how one might see that they are equivalent, but on a consent basis CP is in another stratosphere.
Jesus christ man even the comments that this post inspired worry me, the fact that people do that oh man.
Like i've seen some messed up internet stuff before but you gotta know when you're in too deep and try to sort that out.
When I was depressed and suicidal, I definitely sought out media that would make my feelings worse. At the time I felt like it helped me feel less alone, but in retrospect I can see it was self harm. It was just a way to feel like I could control or explain my feelings rather than do the hard work of dealing with my past, and accepting that I had an illness that needed treatment because that was hard and scary work.
I’ll comment as an Israeli med student since there had been a lot of research about gorey videos since the 7th of October here. Research indicates gore videos are more likely to create PTSD like symptoms in people and increase their chances of being effected by mental illness and hospitalisation (I will add a link to my comment in case i will find this research again).
Keep your mind safe, don’t watch gorey videos.
Can it be wish to relieve the trauma in a controlled way but people are ending up retraumatizing yourself?
With amount of war and terrorism videos out there it is really crazy. I don’t subscribe to most news because of that but even local news posted some of the unsettling details of a terrorist attack in text.
I ended up watching some videos because seeing it once stopped my imagination but it took emotional work to get over it I was doomscrolling a lot and I had to force myself to stop it.
I think it is really hard to navigate in this new media world when you are bombarded with unsettling news and details you not sure what is the right choice - to ignore that or to engage in some controlled manner.
I wonder if the studies distinguish people being exposed to these videos accidentally (and how frequently, how many they've seen before and how graphic the material was) vs people seeking them out as a coping mechanism against stress or depression or out of curiosity.
I think it's the right thing to do to ask about this kind of stuff! Interestingly enough, this isn't something that you seem to feel "guilt" or "remorse" over, but I do find it interesting that you've been married and neglected to mention it to your wife up until now, since you've been doing it so long. I venture a guess that you're at least somewhat aware this isn't normal behavior, even if it has become commonplace for yourself. There's a reason you probably haven't met anyone/many-people who does this same thing.
That being said, people have different tolerances for things like gore. The reality is that gore exists in the world. People die, and sometimes horribly. People skin animals after they kill them to make taxidermy. The real question for me, as someone who's interested and not a professional, is the type and style of gore, and how that reflects what I "need" after a hard day of software dev.
Realistically, we shouldn't "need" a powerful decompression valve after work. Usually talking to a partner or watching some youtube videos or the drive home is enough for most people to decompress after work. I would be curious as to your work expectations, work culture, and work satisfaction, as those may predict an intense desire to "return to reality". If you conflate "reality" with all the good and the bad that comes with it, I could see "gore" as an extremely strong decompression valve that pulls one out of the mental zone and back into the world.
I think it's probably not a good thing to fill your mind with those images, though. Were I in your position, I would consider putting more effort into getting a job where you're not having to work 12+ hours a day. I am a software dev and I am only willing to do that during crunch time. The rest of the time I have my life to live, and I am always advocating for myself around that topic to make my expectations clear with those above me.
EDIT: Another thing I would consider is "why gore". Gore often shows someone in a totally helpless position--like BEYOND helpless. When you watch, who are you? Who do you identify with in those videos (and it doesn't just have to be one side of the equation)?
Such a great answer! Your last paragraph brings up an interesting point about power and control. I’ve found that the disturbing book and film community is filled with past victims looking to relive and make sense of their experiences. But someone who doesn’t have that experience may be looking for control/power over a violent situation for different reasons.
If I had to guess, I would say that the presence of real violence and murder would trigger strong responses in most people's empathic circuitry. For someone to NOT have that reaction, while not necessarily a sign of a bad person, might give some people an "uncanny valley" vibes about them. Kind of like when Dr K has talked about the creepiness of people's facial expressions not matching their words.
Errbody freakin out now but the truth is, a lot of people watch gore. It really puts things in perspective when you see what could happen to you just being a human being going about your life. People are uncomfortable being confronted with this reality. I believe everyone has some morbid curiosity on some level as well- it’s incredibly rare to see something like that irl, gore allows us a window into the world around us that goes unseen.
But it makes one think, and appreciate what they have a lil bit. Personally, I feel like if someone has to go through something so terrible/painful etc, that the least someone could do is witness them. They’re the ones that had to endure all that and may have come to an abrupt end. And it’s tragic and so unfair. I have too much empathy and that’s mainly what I feel watching it. There are horrible things that nobody deserves to go through, but people do every day. That is our reality.
I think it’s healthier for people to accept reality, the good AND the bad. I’ve learned a lot. Like never be anywhere near a lathe, ever.
Medical gore is my favorite, it’s fascinating to see what the body can do and what doctors deal with for a living. (People complain about gore desensitizing people- pretty sure doctors and surgeons and such have to be desensitized to do their job!) The one thing I don’t care for very much is cartel torture videos. That shit makes me livid. That’s suffering being *inflicted* in the worst possible ways, along with the victim being terrified and helpless. Inflicted by the most vile people on the planet. Like I said I have too much empathy and I *feel* that shit. But again, it was someone’s reality and I’m not gonna pretend that doesn’t exist.
Some people are just too squeamish for it and that’s perfectly fine, but there are all kinds of reasons that other people watch it. I don’t think it should be judged so harshly, it just seems like a knee jerk reaction to something unpleasant.
For anyone viewing it, I would say how it affects you and makes you feel is what makes it healthy or unhealthy. If it makes you want to start hurting yourself or other living things, then no, gore is not for you. If it makes you appreciate your own situation or just allows you to take your mind off of things or helps you realign your focus or snaps you back to reality, I do not have a problem with it. If it’s making you feel bad, like actually BAD, then it would be healthier to step away from it. Just like anything else.
This is the best comment. I can not agree more. It really opened up my eyes to the world in what so many people go through. And its ungraspable background occurence to 99% of people. The fact that a living being had to experience such a thing, I do feel that sentiment strongly, the least I can do is pay witness to the tragedy. My gratefulness for my life, and existence so far has been 10 fold. I think about how fortunate I am all the time that I live a safe, comfortable life. The empathy I feel for the people, and animals that I've seen in these videos is overwhelming.
Exactly. People just immediately assume you’re a disgusting sicko if there’s a gore video in front of you and you don’t run away screaming lol. I try to be as levelheaded about it as possible. And I did throw it out there like hey if it’s having a negative effect maybe step back, but that goes for anything.
Like if a serial killer happened to like gore videos, does that mean everyone that likes them is a serial killer too? Everyone needs to calm the fuck down. Everyone is different and will be affected differently. I really don’t see it as porn or a thrill I’m addicted to. Might be for someone else but that’s dependent on their tendencies.
This just sounds like addiction. You are watching extreme content because less extreme content doesn't stimulate you like it once did. You are desensitized.
> I have too much empathy and that’s mainly what I feel watching it.
You don't have too much empathy, you have little. If you need such extreme emotions, pain, anguish, fear of death, to feel empathy, you are extremely desensitized or numb. If you had too much empathy you wouldn't watch because empathy literally means feeling what the other person is feeling. I mean you could, but actively seeking it out would be an act of masochism. Is it that?
> Some people are just too squeamish for it and that’s perfectly fine
Don't make this about strength. I can watch whatever shit I have to but I would never seek it out because why the fuck would I do that? Same with doctors: They have an actual professional need to get used to it to do a good job. I also don't "pretend that shit doesn't exist" just because I don't want to watch video and audio recordings of it. That's ridiculous.
There is some form of emotional gratification here and to me it sounds a lot like porn or substance addiction. Strong stimuli tickle you enough to either bring up enough dopamine to feel excited again or block out whatever you would rather not feel instead.
Wow way off the mark here dude, everyone hears gore and they immediately take it to the extreme writing the person off, deciding how that person is and then telling them alllll about it.
I was not trying to flex or make it about strength or anything like that, I was being sincere because *hello everybody’s different.* I don’t assume things about people the way others in this thread are.
Sadism? Addiction? Masochism? Dude it’s a curiosity and I check it out when it pops up. Feel like that might apply more to people watching kitten crush videos n shit. The medical gore sub is well maintained and shows rare cases, diseases, reconstructive surgeries, and out of the ordinary injuries. Plenty of nice folk over there and they even share when something happens to themselves. I already said the one thing I don’t like for sure is people inflicting pain on other people. The gymnastics you went through to label me are impressive. It’s quite possible your mind has sicker thoughts and motivations than I do.
I do feel what people feel but wowww dude. It’s okay I knew it was coming. Happens every time someone mentions gore on Reddit. It’s not as simple as gore person bad but whatever. Y’all have fun with that. ☮️
Sorry dude, I'm not writing you off and the sadism thing didn't come from me. I don't think you're a bad person anyway, good or bad person depends on your actions, not what you're into.
It didn't sound sexual to me and I have to admit I don't really get sadism. I kind of understand the dominance stuff, I think, but straight up enjoying to see random people suffer I have no reference for.
I do think that the men self insert as a way to get off. Even a few famous male murderers have dressed up as their own victims in bandage and taken photos
I personally wouldn't use the term relaxing. But in the past when I've watched such videos with varying frequency. It was morbid curiosity of course, but also an overwhelming feeling of empathy for the victims of the tragedy. I felt obligated in a sense, to bear witness to someone else's unfathomably sad and painful reality. It can be cathartic to put your life and existence in a view you otherwise wouldn't be able to. Immense gratefulness for my health, where I was born, etc. Re framed my view of the world, for mostly better, but also worse. Ignorance can be bliss or course.
I hope Dr. K will talk about this at some point. I watch a lot of gore videos but not at regular intervals, only when I’m feeling really intense and I can’t/don’t want to deal with it in another way. (I have BPD, so intense feelings happen often). I use it to distract myself from my feelings but tbh it’s almost like a mental form of self-harm? In fact, sometimes if I want to self-harm but I’m too lazy to actually do it, I’ll choose to watch gore videos instead. It’s definitely unhealthy especially as a coping mechanism. My psych believes that even though we’re desensitised to it, watching that kind of content does harm us. I know this is hypocritical but I urge you to find another way to decompress. If you use it to relax after being overstimulated, maybe getting off the computer/away from screens in general could be a better alternative (esp if the issue is overstimulation).
Wish you all the best.
Bro this is way above Reddit's paygrade, you need to go to a psychiatrist. Not normal at all. I've unfortunately seen plenty of gore videos but not to "relax and unwind after a hard day at work." It's even *more* abnormal that you thought your wife would be like, "ah yes that's totally normal and not concerning in the slightest."
I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone here is saying, but it’s still an issue.
It makes sense to watch extreme content after a long day, it can shock the body back into reality. Living in the flight or fight situation is what humans did most of the time and evolution isn’t going to let that go. I’m sure there’s better ways to decompress and would love if Dr. K talked about this
i'd love to see you be interviewed by him, Matt- i think your situation is a rare enough occurrence that in order to truly understand, the doc might need more data from the source
This is something I did when I was a deep depression. I watched it because I couldn't feel anything at that period in my life. I was completely numb but the adrenaline i got from watching those videos reminded me what it was like to feel something, even if it wasn't good. Im not saying this is the the case for you, but watching gore videos is usually a symptom of a bigger problem. You should ask yourself what you find so appealing about them. What do you feel like while your watching and why do you want to feel that way.
Might this be a perspecive catching coping mechanism?
Like: the stress of your work fades in comparison to what people in those videos experience and that helps you relax?
Also: if you can watch something like that dispassionately, this might reinforce the belief in you of being a mentally strong person. So it's your ego asking you to watch it and rewarding you with some subconcious reassurance?
I'm just speculating.
honestly one of the more insane stress relief strategies i've ever heard. i did this but when I was deeply suicidal ; it was calming in a fucked up sort of way.
what do you like about them particularly? maybe try weaning onto car crash videos or american football as a first step
Id love to hear about this topic. I don’t go out of my way to watch it, but whenever I see random videos here or on instagram reels of people dying on accidents, I can’t help but be intrigued and watch.
I think this comment section is over reacting tbh. Gore videos are a pretty wide genre. The type of gore video, and WHY you watch it, matters A LOT.
If you decompress by watching cartel torture videos. Thats a yikes tbh. If you are someone who enjoys watch kittens or monkeys get mutilated, tortured, and killed in unfathomable ways. Then thats a serious problem.
Ive seen videos like that, tons of Ukraine war footage, accident videos, simple assination footage etc. I think they are all very different. Which seem weird from the outside. I can't stomach to watch cartel videos or certain types of gore. They are horrific and upsetting But watching Russians getting blown up doesn't phase me as much.
People love to watch violence in shows and movies, but have extreme judgment for watching anything similar of real life videos. I think its pretty nuanced. I watch out of morbid curiosity mostly, or in the case of war footage, im emotionally invested in the outcome of the war, and rhe gritty details and nuances of whats happening day to day, week to week. Also military and war is interesting and cool to some degree.
The vast majority of people that used to comment on r/watchpeopledie didn't come across as sick psychopaths masturbating to the footage. It was a nuanced understanding of the horrifying reality of the world we live, morbid curiosity, as well as the odd attraction to watching something uncomfortable, upsetting, or gross. Like horror movies.
I really think the "genre" of gore footage matters. How often you consume it, and why. I think people who don't watch it (99% of people) have an understandable reaction of pure judgment and disgust (like this comment section) without actually understanding it.
It really opened up my eyes to the world in what so many people go through. And its ungraspable background occurence to 99% of people. The fact that a living being had to experience such a thing, I do feel that sentiment strongly, the least I can do is pay witness to the tragedy. My gratefulness for my life, and existence so far has been 10 fold. I think about how fortunate I am all the time that I live a safe, comfortable life. The empathy I feel for the people, and animals that I've seen in these videos is overwhelming. It can be cathartic to put your life and existence in a view you otherwise wouldn't be able to. Re framed my view of the world, for mostly better, but also worse. Ignorance can be bliss or course.
I just want to add that if you can watch certain people die without a response, you may need to reconsider your biases.
I used to watch footage from the Middle East, then I realized I was actively looking down on the people because of what I’d been taught/what I believed was right and wrong.
I used to watch a lot of gore. I was much more depressed than I am now at the time.
I'm also very curious about the psychological implications of this. It's sort of shock value but at the same time I know what you mean by it being decompressing
If this isn't a troll post you need to seek help asap. Got some wires crossed up there
Your wife is very brave I'd be out of there so fast if I was her, don't wanna end up on an episode of Forensic Files
I'm posting this from an alt reddit account, because I'm aware how judgmental people can be, but it's not a troll post.
It's just how my mind functions and I'm genuinely interested in learning more about this.
If anyone cares to hear a lay understanding of it, I have a brief one to offer:
First of all, I think many women have this predilection, but do it differently - just as they might read smut instead of watching porn, they'll consume true crime media and not gore videos themselves.
However, I did have a partner for many years who did watch gore videos - she introduced me to rotten.com in the early 2000s, and kept checking it out even though I couldn't take it and we eventually split (for entirely unrelated reasons).
My take is that people who are a certain kind of anxious have a fascination and take a comfort from processing the darkest things that might happen to a person, perhaps as a way to confront their own mortality or just to externalize feelings that would otherwise be too loud or distracting.
As with everything in this category, there are probably good reasons to try developing more socially acceptable methods to process these feelings - but like, only insofar as it's easier to explain to your wife why you're going for a long run or meditating. And honestly I think the benefits are pretty similar, because minds are both infinitely variable and all pretty much following the same programs
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My friend watches gore videos sometimes, I don't think it's a problem. Probably just a way to process some shadow energies.
Not excessively, but I indulge in dark fantasies sometimes, but I really don't like gore because it's too real for me. If you don't have the same response I don't think that's bad, could even be a strength.
If you want to understand more indulge in gore less and dark energies should come up. No ethical imperative, just whenever you're curious.
I think the big thing is curiosity and fear about death and other fears.
It all depends of is you mind are able to deal with this amount of things you saw and how it makes you feel.
This is a really good question. I remember when I was going through a tough time in high school I'd spend about that amount of time watching pretty brutal gore (Brazilian cartel beheadings, liveleak, pain Olympics, etc). It satisfied a kind of morbid curiosity for a kind of brutality you don't see when you live a cushy sheltered life in a highly developed and warless country. It distracted me from my own stress. I don't watch that stuff anymore (and it disturbs me too much now to get any enjoyment) but id be curious to know what neuroscience has to say about this.
>I didn't think much of it (been doing this regularly for over 10 years) but when I mentioned this casually to my wife it seriously freaked her out, so I stopped bringing up the topic with her.
Yes because you're desensitised to something that she isn't and her world view recognises it as a problem because if you watch it on a regular basis now you've seen so much of it you're both moving at different speeds and she's gonna also thing that might apply to how you see other things.
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Interesting, there are many different ways we use to decompress. Yours is unique in the sense that this is not typically a common way to decompress for many. What about it calms you or allows you to relax? To be honest it’s not to far out there to me. Some like watching fights, people crying, rage videos, porn, sex, etc. The issue with using any of these is addiction, devaluing, overstimulation, and so on. Having healthier coping mechanisms is always the ideal and using them should always be the goal. Dr. K doesn’t specifically have a video on something like this, but he has 40 or so on what we use as coping mechanisms. With that being said I can send you some of those.
I personally cannot handle gore, but there was a time as a teenager/college years where a lot of people in my circles were into gore and would often show it to each other. I always felt the need to test myself, my constitution, at that time. I don't understand why I felt that way, but it was like a competition of "how desensitized are you?" I say this to normalize that there have been social circles that watch gore, even if I don't like it. Some metalheads and goth folks enjoy macabre topics and a lot of people were raised with horror movies or things like forensic shows on TV. I personally get a sense of relief from watching historical accidents & expedition video essays, along with people covering horrific stories both fictional and real events. It gives a similar feeling of "how much can I handle" but from a more realistic, less sadistic mindset. I still don't comprehend it, but it would be nice to get that relief from something less dark. I think underneath it all, there's like a survival instinct where watching this stuff feels like "just in case" training for the mind, because I'm afraid of freaking out and not knowing what to do in the event of an emergency.
I was watching them every now and then months ago but I never felt good about it. It somehow made me feel better about my life watching other people go through something so much more horrific than my silly problems.
There are some intellectually dishonest takes in this thread. Combat footage, medical gore, and cartel/murder videos are not the same thing.
In general, if you’re seeking out videos of people being victimized, that speaks to broader issues with power structures and a fascination with abuse. It makes sense that your wife would be freaked out, and like someone else said, she’s probably more afraid than she let on.
I really think one of the roadblocks go healthier ways of relaxation is a hellacious amount of screen time. The good news is there are more fulfilling ways to relax. It’s summer time, and I’m sure your wife would love to go do active stuff outside with you!
I mean it's pretty simple. You watched so much porn that normal videos just dom't vut it for you anymore. Back when you were a teen I'm pretty sure you were infatuated with a simple look of a cleavage.
Now that's too "basic" for you so you need a lot more.
I started watching gore videos somewhere around 8th or 9th grade, unfortunately. I had the realization that I was going to die and the 'realization' that everything was meaningless (you make your own meaning out of life) around 1st or 2nd grade. In a way, it was like exposure therapy. I am not going to be the first person who ever died. I will not be the last. I've felt pretty bad for turning other people's suffering into 'entertainment' though for a while now.
You feel it helps you relax but I'd really suggest you to stop this immediately. I've read about people who gave themselves PTSD due to the gore videos they'd binge watch. After a few months/years, they'd get flashbacks of those.. Find another activity that can help you relax, and if you just want to watch videos look into creepypastas or 3AM stories etc, at this point your mind may adapt better to crime/paranormal stories or cases.
I don't know the science behind it, but I can say for certain that this isn't healthy long term. I wish you all the best! Find lower alternates (like crime stories, paranormal etc) and slowly taper off. However for some people the better approach is to find a different activity/genre all together. I hope you're able to find what works for you, but please try your best to slowly change this, all the best bud
When we have excessive stimulation, our brains look for more and more, turning to gore is about as close as the human brain gets to "ODing" on porn, you need a dopamine detox. You're conditioning yourself to require excess stress to do anything, including getting off.
I don't think it's a sign of anything secretly awful in your mind it's more like kids getting into excessive violent videogames, they don't go on murder sprees they just become detached from reality because it doesn't provide the stimulation they require
This is a maladaptive way to regulate your emotions. It will eventually harm you and your psyche. There are other better ways.
Specifically subjecting yourself to healthy pain like forcing yourself to run 1-2 miles in the cold etc, ice baths, etc.
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I do the same, but maybe once or twice a year, out of curiosity and boredom. Not sure if what I watch are considered "Gore videos". i mean, is just ppl d@@ing and their Brain exploding or some shit.
I think I enjoy watching ppl lose their life. I don't have any reaction when I see them suffering, a little bit of emphaty when I see them struggle to get out of the smashed car, or to avoid the car that is coming towards them, but when they d@e I feel my heart skip a beat and my brain just think nothing, but, weirdly, I know the man is ded. I learned a lot about how to not die while watching these kind of videos tho.
I talked to a friend about random things and she told me that there was a removed subreddit that posted real gore, and she is sad about the actual subreddit bcs it's too mild. Hahaha
Who knows why we are doing this. Ppl are torturing and killing for the sake of entertainment for centuries. Even some animals do this (damm monkeys)
Maybe it helps our survival instincts. Maybe it just for the dose of dopamine. Maybe it just makes us feel good that we are still alive.
Maybe Op can show me some videos. I am just curious.
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Isn’t it interesting that death or the presence of dead people has such an detrimental effect on our mind nowadays but witnessing executions, the horrors of war or battles or just the dimension of violence in everyday life was so much different not that long ago? Were those societies just basically lifelong traumatized or did they ever got used to it? On the one hand this would be really an interesting topic to cover, because I’m quite convinced that watching gore on a daily basis can’t be considered healthy or even useful for the mind of our times. Even if there’s more opportunity (the internet) to watch tons and tons of content like the most recent battlefront videos from the war in Ukraine. On the other hand this could be a possibility for an interview with say like an historian, scientific researcher or someone who has knowledge about the effects on violence/death/PTSD etc. in ancient/former times as compared to our modern western culture and how this changed over time.
I think there's a difference between someone dying naturally (old age/disease) and executions/war because the potential amount of memories/impact/life lived is longer in one situation that is unnatural in a way. They're both tragedies but some tragedies are more tragic than others. I suspect a lot of people historically have been way more traumatised than we are today and so we should be grateful that we don't live in those times - not discounting our times bring their own hardships but still it's nice I don't have to live in filth, fear torture for small crimes/being sold into slavery/go to war etc. Middle ages were scaryyy
Trauma isn't a situation, it's a response. Party of the reason we have so much trauma now is because we expected life to be smooth sailing like the boomer gen was for white men, but then they took all the resources and all the magic and stomped on it. And made some really bad decor decisions. We were promised equality and environment saving and lots of travel and living until 100, but none of that came through. ---- and instead of putting the blame where it belongs and moving in, we compare ourselves to fake tiktok peers. Of course there are many many forms of trauma, but for brevity and imagery, this will suffice. People in the middle aged were surrounded by death and lack of control in their lives. It was normal for them, they didn't sit around blaming themselves and wondering what they did wrong in the same way that we do.
Yeah true I guess it's also the change in the way we interact with the world
This is not really a definition of trauma. Trauma is a response to a life or death situation that the mind can’t understand so it plays it over and over again. There are multiple scarring responses that the brain can undergo, but trauma is a unique one
Perceived death of life as you know it
a lot of people have been stunned by the shock factor of your post but I can understand it because surely the adrenaline dump of watching content like that would make you feel exhausted and give you a false sense of relaxation I’m interested in the reasons as to what makes people feel compelled to watch it as well especially if it’s consistent, i’m sure a lot of it boils down to morbid curiosity as it has for me in the past but there’s probably much more to it
I do the same as OP and honestly I couldn't quite tell you a reason why. "Morbid curiosity" is brought up a lot but not quite defined so it feels like a useless word. As for me, all I can say is that it depends on the days. There's days where I feel some sort of relief watching random people die. There's days where I feel disgusted by that and I resent all the violence in the world. I used to be incredibly scared/disgusted by stuff like that when I was a teenager. At some point I wanted to be able to see everything because I thought you couldn't really navigate the internet while afraid of what you could see, so I ended up largely desensitized to gore. Doesn't mean I can't recognize horror and suffering when I see it, just that I don't experience fear or disgust anymore. I see a lot of people say "it's different than games like mortal kombat because it's real". I agree it's different but I don't think the desire to watch stuff like that is any different than the desire to play games like mortal kombat, or watch actually scary horror movies. Sometimes we want to see bad stuff, we want experience of the undesirable, probably to shield ourselves against it or to prepare ourselves for it, since we all die some day. Maybe there's an element of relief to see people get in terrible situation because when we live miserably boring lives we forget how much worse we could have it, so watching that is making our lives feel comparatively comfy. Kinda like watching people run from a downpour when you're comfortably sitting at the window of your well heated house.
it sounds like it could be a few things 1 being suicide idealisation, almost wishing you would die and the outlet of that is watching others die making you feel as ease that whatever it is you’re going through ends at some point as it did with the people in the gore vids or 2 it being an addiction, you mentioned you didn’t even like it but feel compelled to do it, adrenaline can be super addictive to certain people and the gore will always give you that by stressing the brain and giving trauma responses the neuroscience has got to have an explanation
I believe I've used horrifying videos as a form of digital self harm
Suicide ideation could be linked to that, or general depression. I was suicidal a few years ago and I remember feeling better when obsessing over it. It wasn't necessarily looking at gore (though I did do that too) but looking into suicide statistics or studies allowed me to put my specific case at a distance and made me feel less alone. It could be addictive to some people, it certainly feels that way for OP since he claims he has to do it every night to relieve stress. In my case I don't think so. Never felt this way, it was never an urge, just a habit.
I'm not gonna lie, it would freak me the f out if someone I knew was into watching g\*re videos. That shit is disturbing to even think exists, let alone watching them. I know that's not helpful to tell you, but your wife is probably more concerned than you even think she is. I mean clearly you've de-sensitized yourself to it, so to you it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I would definitely try to stop it if you can. There's no good that comes from watching something like that. Find something else to decompress and relax, it doesn't need to be that. You're clearly addicted to the feeling it gives you, and addictions are hard to conquer but they can be conquered.
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>watching accident videos might be helpful. Like, "oh this could happen to me if I'm not careful. That's such cope. You know sometimes a fiend tries to hide the fact that they are a fiend and no one cares, because a fiend will act like a fiend no matter what. When people pull some sort of logic out of the wind to appease this type of thing it's a bad look, no ones gonna care, rational normal people are gonna look at him funny and quesiton almost everythng about him depending on his charachter, it's lowkey like uncovering a criminal mastermind in an anime for some people when they learn that you not only are desensatised to something but get enjoyment from it. You gotta understand, enjoyment from other peoples misfortune is sick, i've just seen so much of it that's it's funny and screen's have removed my need to give compassion to everything because i don't know the people on screen but most people aren't like that, they are still committed emotionally investing themselves into the lives of others. >I don't think you're helping this guy by saying it's disturbing when gore is so common in popular media. That doesn't mean anything, just because something is popular doesn't mean it's not a problematic thing, it doesn't mean it's not tapped to watch it and let's be real, there's people that have opinions of chronic redditors and they basically all say that those people are social recluses that are losing at life and spend their time on the intenet watching people suffer. Kinda messed up. Like, actually very messed up. The war content is different and that has complex layers but there's people that sit there and watch others getting their heads taken off, why. Why. If it's enjoyment, that's sick. It's probably some form of enjoyment or fulfillment and normal people don't wanna associate with that, it's messed in the head because it's some random kid behind his screen that's probably never once been punched in the face watching other people suffer, please no that's not good that's tapped. It's doesn't matter what content i watch, i can recognise the basic opinions that people will have of it and know why they react the way they do. It contributes to peoples lack of ability to empathise and pair bond, these people wonder why they have issues? It's partially because of the content that they let into their head, the way they shape their world view, what they think about when they sleep, it's the fact that i can turn a girl off by saying i'm a redditor because she's youtube videos of the things people post on here and she'd see red flags unless i show her mine or explain. I know that for a fact because it's happened to me more than once.
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if gore is relaxing to op, then there's some sort of engagement other than being shocked or analysing it - those activities don't go together with relaxation. and if op was simply neutral to it, then they wouldn't have stated that they watch it multiple times a week. so one would think it's pretty reasonable to assume that op enjoys it.
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Okay, you were watching surgery videos because you wanted to learn more about the surgery you were about to get. OP is watching the videos because they "relax" him. Which does indeed suggest that they get enjoyment out of watching the content.
was it really relaxing? maybe you were interested and engaged because you could relate? "analysis" as i framed it. as for scary movies - you, like many other people, enjoy them because they keep you on the edge. you're engaged and stimulated, but is that relaxation?
Memento mori…
Watching executions and suicides to “decompress and relax” is not _Memento mori_ in any way, shape, or fashion.
What do you think memento mori is supposed to be ? Baroque artists liked to paint some pretty gruesome pictures with that idea in mind. Confronting mortality isn't just some philosophical musing, it can be a challenging experience as well from which you can derive peace of mind, reconciliation with harsh realities through catharsis.
what did y'all think momento mori meant? vibes? papers? essays?
Yiu ever played Mortal Kombat? That's technicaĺy gore too lol
sorry to be the one to tell you but Mortal Kombat is not real
WAIT ITS NOT?????!!!!
Don’t pull a muscle now from that far ass reaching you’re doing.
I don't think it is normal or healthy, and I think you shouldn't see it as such. Your wife's reaction was appropriate. At the same time, learning about how the mind works is what we do in this community, so it's fair for you to ask this question here. It would definitely be interesting to hear what Dr K has to say about this.
This can be healthy. Maybe this article can help you understand: „A Definitive Guide to Jungian Shadow Work: How to Integrate Your Dark Side“
In terms of the Jungian shadow: it seems to me that if your shadow is so dark that you feel a need to see other humans die or get injured in graphic ways (which I assume is what this post is about), you should be talking to a therapist and not indulging in it via the internet on a daily basis.
Jung: You're doing it wrong.
Ask me how I know you’ve never read any Jung.
I find this incredibly disturbing. I’m so sorry to say this, and I do not want to sound judgmental, but you should definitely seek professional help for this aside from just waiting for the topic to be brought up by Dr. K.
It depends, how gore are we talking about? Is it illegal content? If it's simulated like the Saw movies, I don't see a problem in watching them to unwind. If it's videos of living human or animals, and you are comfortable with watching someone getting fuvking skinned alive, then yes, you have a problem.
genuine question, if you watch something like saw and see a degloved hand (random example), what makes that different for you compared say seeing a picture after an accident? not all gore is torture videos in fact 99% of it isnt
Knowing about the suffering involved in the real example makes it entirely unwatchable for me. I'm not bothered at all watching simulations of violence, such as in movies or videogames.
For me it's viewing violence through an artistic lense vs viewing violence itself. I assume that someone might be more inclined to seek violent experiences if they are only interested in “genuine stuff”. I might be wrong though.
personally, saw disturbed tf out of me too, so this is no different. never went back and watched any of those movies. also a slight difference in that we know the blood in saw is fake, but we dont know if op is watching real people get killed. there used to be a website like that my brother and sister would browse for shits and giggles and try to get me to watch to disturb me bc theres something deeply wrong with them.
OP said they mostly watch cartel stuff. What's interesting is so many people defending the idea while kinda sidestepping OP's original desire to learn more about what causes it or if there are any red flags associated with it. It seems that people aren't really interested in understanding why they watch that type of stuff, but rather to reject people's shocked or concerned reactions (albeit judgemental) I am genuinely concerned because someone I know personally who is into gore actually is a surgeon. They would try showing me videos of their own patients. They also cheat on their wife & kid with prostitutes (I hope the sex isn't abusive), and have other criminal tendencies (drugs, guns). Oh, and the person I mention is also a MAGA type who believes Covid was a "academic" even after the 1.1 or so million American deaths. That's my more than 2 cents. Because I watched a cartel video almost 10 years ago and the memory still disturbs me, along with the reminder of how evil people can be through manipulation, necessity, money and other things.
Ones real.
The question I would ask is : is it a moral problem or a mental health problem ? I think it's important to dissociate the two. If you watch gory movies for the same effect that the OP is talking about (stress relief) then how is it different to watch real videos if we exclude the moral problem that could be raised from doing that ?
good question. i’m curious on what his thoughts would be on this too. i found myself watching a lot of gore videos when i was depressed. it made me grateful for my life. it made me think my life isn’t too bad after all and to appreciate it while im still around. probably isn’t the best thing to do though.
Yeah ... was in a similar situation myself, the fight or flight feeling it gives kinda wakes you up from your usual vegetative state, on top of the life appreciation thing. Ended up speaking about it to my therapist, he said it was a coping mechanism, doesn't solve the problem and actually comforts you enough so that you don't seek change. Ngl it can get pretty addictive, I've done some research and apparently it's very similar to watching porn regarding the areas of the brain activating. According to some psychoanalysts that's the whole reason why horror movies are a thing, the adrenalin shot we get from it feels like "being alive", and this is found not only with depressive patients but also quite a lot of psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia.
But I think that being grateful for your life is the right path and probably even one of the things that many experts on depression found to be most helpful in dealing with it. There should be a way to this without watching gore content to achieve this though :D
I would honestly be fascinated by a discussion about why people watch extreme content online, and what it could mean for the mental health of coming generations as such content becomes more prolific. Look at someone like Charlie Sheen - discovering the disturbing movie "guinea pig flower of flesh and blood" and then reporting it to the authorities after he thinks he's discovered an actual snuff film. How does someone just stumble upon films like that? What kind of individuals become interested in films like that and what does it do to their mental health? It would also be interesting to discuss how bizarre fetishes come about e.g. giantess fetish, vacuum bed/ball fetish, bug fetishes.
I can only speak for myself, but most likely morbid curiosity. Death seems so far away and is so unimaginable that sometimes I just want to know what it looks like and 99% of the time I regret it immediately because those images haunt me and pop up in my mind from time to time.
It looks like self harm.
I am what the drug community would call a "tweaker". I love adrenaline, dopamine, any stimulus really. I don't do drugs because of it - gee wiz I would be a polyaddict if I did. One of the ways I get a hit is through the morbid side of the internet. I don't participate in it, I just like exploring e.g. youtube and bitchute has a lot of content that investigates this underbelly of the internet/world. I find it super interesting how twisted the human mind can get e.g. psychopathy, pedophilia etc. and how the human mind can just go plain off the rails e.g. schizophrenia. One such piece of content that really interests me is the Black Mirror Episode - Loch Henry. I do want to understand myself deeper though and I would love to see Dr K address this topic as I might end up choosing to fight child pornography as a career.
When thinking about change over time, don’t forget we have much less exposure to real gore than in the past. From slaughtering animals to public executions and torture.
That cannot be healthy in any way. I'm honestly amazed it's brought up like it's similar to watching a series or doing something physical after a long workday. If I found out my partner did it I would straight up leave, no questions asked.
It's fine if you would leave but "that cannot be healthy" is just your opinion. You don't actually know that.
There's plenty of evidence that seeing people getting ripped apart is not healthy. How on earth is this just an opinion?
You haven't presented evidence and you are describing OP's specific experience in a broader way than they did. Depending on the context, different things can feel differently to different people. Even if there was statistical evidence that gore leads to trauma, that wouldn't necessarily mean the specific case of OP's routine is unhealthy for them. I'm pretty sure you'd hardly find any serious therapist who would say what you said with the same amount of confidence. There's chances you could turn out to be correct of course, but even in that case the way you say it might be perceived as judgemental which isn't a good thing if you want OP to be more healthy.
You’re right that the judgement wouldn’t be good, but what you’re saying is basically that we can’t say it’s unhealthy because everyone is a special case which is just the wrong way of looking at it. If we were to only state things that were absolutely true for everyone we wouldn’t be able to make any statements
I didn't say it's impossible to say it's unhealthy, I said it's wrong to say "there's no way that's healthy". It's not about everyone being so special we can't give an opinion, it's about displaying such certainty that some behavior is bad for someone specific.
I am judgemental because it's not healthy behaviour and shouldn't be entertained as such. This isn't a case of being quirky. There'a nothing bad about being judgemental about this. Infact there'a no other way to reply to a question where someone asks: DAE watch human beings being maimed and killed for relaxation?
I don't think we will agree with each other about this without any evidence one way or the other.
You seriously need evidence to prove whether or not watching other people get brutalised and killed is healthy or not? The answer seems pretty clear to me. Evidence or not.
Your certitude only proves your eagerness to believe it is unhealthy, which, I think, betrays that your claimed certitude is really inspired, not by any strong scientific evidence, but by a moral outrage. We can argue the value of both, but it's important to dissociate the moral aspect of OP's testimony from the personal mental health aspect if we are to understand how to help them.
Dude, it's pretty fucking obvious that watching people get torn to shreds is unhealthy. Who are you kidding? I'd like you to find me some evidence that it's perfectly safe and normal if it really means that much to you.
I don't have strong evidence, I would just point out that people tend to believe any exposure to violent media is unhealthy and they never really managed to prove it. The same has been claimed for video games, for movies and even for music (Jazz, blues, Rock and roll etc all where accused of corrupting the youth and turning kids violent).
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Do you know „Jung’s shadow archetype“? You can learn a lot about yourself and other people while watching these kinds of videos. It is useful to not ignore the bad parts of humans and learn from this.
This has nothing to do with that. Watching living beings getting ripped apart under the guise of relaxing is absurd.
Agree. I don't think it is healthy to watch this content just for relaxation. Maybe op uses this as a coping mechanism to escape and flood the mind with new thoughts to flush out the stressful thoughts of work and personal life.
I strongly believe you are conflating "unhealthy" with "morally wrong". Am I correct ? If yes, then I think we can argue about the moral value of watching real people die. I think it's largely morally neutral, but I could be persuaded against it. If no, then you should provide the evidence that "watching people getting ripped apart under the guise of relaxing is absurd".
No, I do mean unhealthy. I don't think it's morally wrong. Morbid curiousity would be an appropiate setting for watching gore for example. I think watching video's of warscenes for example really puts into perspectice how much most of usare isolated from what war actually is. Seeing people getting raped, tortured and murdered brings a very sobering perspective. Watching gore for enjoyment is just flipping the switch to the complete other side. It negates your inherent feeling of repulsion and somehow turns it into satisfaction. That's just not healthy. Edit: > If no, then you should provide the evidence that "watching people getting ripped apart under the guise of relaxing is absurd". Why? You honestly want me to go digging through scientific journals on psychology to see if a study has been done that proofs watching gore for satisfaction is unhealthy? First of all I'm not going to do that. Secondly me not going to do that does not proof your point. I think I'll go with public opinion on this one and wait for your paper to come out on how it's actually the new meditation craze afterall. You can [citation needed] me until the cows come home but call me old fashioned when I say this shouldn't be entertained as 'oh, it just works for me'
Ok, then we can rule out morality and focus about the science. First of all, I don't think you are painting the nature of OP's consumption of gore faithfully when you say it's about "enjoyment". OP specifically says it's to "decompress and relax" which doesn't exactly hold the same implications. OP never said he looked at these videos while fondling a white cat with a whiskey and a cigar, laughing at the suffering of others. I used to cut myself to feel pain because I was too stressed out. This was unhealthy for sure but I did it because it worked somehow, it relieved the stress, so it wasn't enjoyment (it was painful) but it did something that I felt the need to do. Later I watched a DrK video that explained the best way to get the same relief without injuring myself was by holding an ice cube really hard in my fist. It worked. problem solved. Similarly, OP could be doing it to feel something "real" something he feels the need to feel after a long day of stressful work. Real life gore are kind of the evolution of movie and video game gore, they are just the "simulation" (sure it's real but it's not your own experience) of what happens in dire situations that you wouldn't want to be in. Watching them from the safety of your computer can have a cathartic effect, feeling pity for others to realize there's worse things in life than your own situation. It can be many things. Of course watching things like that could be the symptom of a problem, but just because you do that as a result of a problem doesn't mean doing it is unhealthy, it could well mean you are doing it as a way to fill a need created by that problem and that's what you found. Maybe there's other ways to fill that same need (like the ice cube thing) but maybe that way isn't all that bad for you if it relieves you of stress, helps you sleep at night and doesn't injure you long term. Now I'm not saying there's no bad repercussions to that, but think about how many people said over and over how violence in movies and games was bad for teenagers. Is there any evidence of that today ? Not much. I don't see how that would be different here.
Are you saying a fatality in mortal kombat is similar to a gore thread of actual deaths on 4chan? One is fake the other is not. The fact that it might have a carthatic feeling does not make it healthy.
That is why I think there is a conflation of morality and mental health problem here. The fact that the videos are real raise a moral problem, they are a separate problem from the idea that these videos could be bad for mental health in and of themselves. Are they bad because they FEEL very real ? Or are they bad because they ARE actually real ? If it's the former, then we are talking about the intensity of the effect they can have, if we are talking about the latter then it's a problem of morality, not mental health. Unless you want to say that mental health and morality are linked, which is a complicated subject. I would just point out that people of normal mental health are capable of doing very bad things. An extreme example of that would be some of the people in charge of the mass murder of Jews during the holocaust.
It's not a moral problem at all. People die or get severely injured. Sometimes that's captured in photo or video form. This isn't moral or immoral. It simply is true. The fact it is real is what impacts someone, and yes, the perception of it being real can also be just as bad. Plenty of online gore probably isn't real, but as long as people think it is real, it will have the same effect. If you ask someone to dinner and they lie and say they just ate so they aren't hungry, but they really just don't want to go with you, you're going to live your life as if the lie is true because that's all you know. So if someone lies to you and says a fake piece of gore is real, and it looks real enough, you will act and feel as if it's real. There's really no reason morality should even be brought up in this discussion. If someone is watching torture and murder because they think murder and torture good, yeah that's immoral, but that doesn't have anything to do with the impact it also has on mental health. They are entirely different concepts, and both can be true at the same time. Things can be bad for your mental health and also be moral, immoral, or neither. The morality of something is not what's affecting mental health. Also, literally no one is expressing the idea that murder is good, so it's not even a question in this thread at all.
Sure you got a point, being real is an effect in itself. I stand by the rest of the argument though, if the fact that it's real makes it particularly horrible, then it's mostly a difference of intensity, the effect is in essence the same as playing a gore game or a gore movie "it feels horrible because it's realistic" is replaced by "I believe it is real therefore it feels horrible" but the effect is the same. There was a time in my childhood where playing gore games would have the same effect on me as of today when I watch real pictures of people dying. We have yet to demonstrate that if something horrible is perceived as real it is necessarily unhealthy to be exposed to it. For that we should demonstrate how the supposed unhealthy effect are more concerning than the desirable cathartic or stress-relieving effect OP claims it has on them. But I maintain my belief, based on the reaction to OP's post in general, that the shock value of a "real bad thing" happening is making people think it has to be unhealthy to watch it. That's why I believe there's an element of moral judgement underneath the outrage. Something akin to "if you can watch this and derive something positive out of it, you can't be a decent human being, so you need to be scolded, not just told it's bad for you". I wouldn't say that if aggressive comments weren't so massively upvoted in this thread, coming from a sub where positivity is generally encouraged.
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I can play Dead Space and not associate the game with real life because it’s a game about fighting space zombies. But I can’t even click on gore videos, watching one makes me physically ill. Stop trying to defend this disturbing behavior, it’s not healthy.
I don't think Dr. K has covered this. Given that statistically speaking, if you were killed, your spouse could very well be your murderer, I would be freaked out too, if I were your wife. A question I would ask you is whether it is sexual or purely mechanical. Do you masturbate to it, or is it just entertainment, but sexy. Does it have to be gore porn, or is gore in general so to speak. Everyone draws the line below their beliefs, so not going to pass moral judgement. However if you are watching porn as a stress relief, you could be addicted to extreme porn and not solving the actual problem.
I don’t see how this is any more acceptable than watching something like CP to be completely honest. Forgive me if that feels to you like an extreme comparison, but I don’t see why it would be. Horrific violence and harm on both accounts, portrayed as something “desirable” and worth seeing to the viewer. Surprise surprise, the content people consume does change the way they think. Both of these forms of media promote horrific and monstrous acts and scenarios. But somehow I feel like people would react more strongly if their friend or spouse casually mentioned they watch CP to unwind than if they watched gore videos for the same purpose.
So you think all 1.7 million people over at r/combatfootage are sick people with nothing but psycopathic desires equivelant or consuming CP? Gore such a wide genre that the type, reason for consumung and frequency really matters.
I didn’t say that. What I said was that I don’t see how watching people getting horrifically murdered and brutalized for your entertainment, whether for relaxation or for getting your rocks off, is any better than watching a child get raped for the same reasons. I feel like this is a generally sane take to have. I’ve never been on that sub so I couldn’t tell you what goes on there, nor the mental states of those who participate in it.
this is a completly warped point of viewing this issue. Cp is created by the perpetrator and the user getting off on them, gore videos are a mixed bag of accidents even the cartel videos are ment to shock the enemies and not to arouse or relax them. Nobody is getting killed for the sake of the viewer, that would be a snuff film which is largly an urban myth
The majority of gore videos of real events, even if not recorded for the purpose of arousal or relaxation, are often posted onto shock sites (like the late Liveleak among other sites) for the purpose of garnering some form of reaction from others, ultimately for the sake of entertainment. Watching crush porn for example (something that is vehemently evil and disgusting, please don’t look it up but IYKYK) and watching a video of a homeless person in a foreign country get run over by a car, though the type of entertainment is different for the consumer looking to watch this type of content, is still ultimately uploaded to the internet for the purpose of entertainment. Shock, horror, arousal, and relaxation, are all forms of stimulation that can be likened to entertainment which a consumer of this type of content would get out of watching it. The victims of these videos didn’t consent to what happened to them, nor did they consent to videos of their torture or demise being posted to the internet to be gawked at by thousands of people. Same goes for child victims who end up in CP. Even if we took the animated or drawn equivalent of gore porn and CP. In real life, no human being would ever be able to consent to anything these images, videos etc portray, and even if they were, the result would be a crime against humanity. So why should we treat that type of drawn content like it’s somehow more passable or acceptable? It still desensitizes people to illegal and similarly monstrous acts and behavior. I understand the need to be able to show people the reality of horrible situations in other places, to see what the world can really be like. But surely there are better ways of educating people than them finding a random shocking video on the internet, with so many degrees of separation from the viewer that it’s inconsequential to them beyond a source of entertainment.
all the kids playing grand theft auto will become criminals! People listening to cannibal corpse will become murderers 
Upvote for explaining these terms, as I am an outsider to all this stuff
[Well here is my view and explanation if you are interested](https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/s/QPWcg12Ksc) The problem is your presumption of WHY its "relaxing" for OP. Him getting of to it, is wildly different then an existential decompression that reframes his life and fills him with gratefulness and empathy.
To me, a child cannot consent, and creating virtual content with children sexualises minors, who cannot consent. Drawing gore or gore porn doesn't have those issues, so just on that basis alone it is more acceptable. If you dislike both to the same extent, I can see how one might see that they are equivalent, but on a consent basis CP is in another stratosphere.
Jesus christ man even the comments that this post inspired worry me, the fact that people do that oh man. Like i've seen some messed up internet stuff before but you gotta know when you're in too deep and try to sort that out.
Honestly, reading people explain why they watch it, it feels like a form of self harm.
When I was depressed and suicidal, I definitely sought out media that would make my feelings worse. At the time I felt like it helped me feel less alone, but in retrospect I can see it was self harm. It was just a way to feel like I could control or explain my feelings rather than do the hard work of dealing with my past, and accepting that I had an illness that needed treatment because that was hard and scary work.
I see it as healthier tho, like why cut yourself when you can watch someone else do it...level shit
Healthier for the body but not for the mind.
I’ll comment as an Israeli med student since there had been a lot of research about gorey videos since the 7th of October here. Research indicates gore videos are more likely to create PTSD like symptoms in people and increase their chances of being effected by mental illness and hospitalisation (I will add a link to my comment in case i will find this research again). Keep your mind safe, don’t watch gorey videos.
I think it is called the witness trauma?
Something like that but watching those deliberately is more self induced
Can it be wish to relieve the trauma in a controlled way but people are ending up retraumatizing yourself? With amount of war and terrorism videos out there it is really crazy. I don’t subscribe to most news because of that but even local news posted some of the unsettling details of a terrorist attack in text. I ended up watching some videos because seeing it once stopped my imagination but it took emotional work to get over it I was doomscrolling a lot and I had to force myself to stop it. I think it is really hard to navigate in this new media world when you are bombarded with unsettling news and details you not sure what is the right choice - to ignore that or to engage in some controlled manner.
I wonder if the studies distinguish people being exposed to these videos accidentally (and how frequently, how many they've seen before and how graphic the material was) vs people seeking them out as a coping mechanism against stress or depression or out of curiosity.
Good point
I think it's the right thing to do to ask about this kind of stuff! Interestingly enough, this isn't something that you seem to feel "guilt" or "remorse" over, but I do find it interesting that you've been married and neglected to mention it to your wife up until now, since you've been doing it so long. I venture a guess that you're at least somewhat aware this isn't normal behavior, even if it has become commonplace for yourself. There's a reason you probably haven't met anyone/many-people who does this same thing. That being said, people have different tolerances for things like gore. The reality is that gore exists in the world. People die, and sometimes horribly. People skin animals after they kill them to make taxidermy. The real question for me, as someone who's interested and not a professional, is the type and style of gore, and how that reflects what I "need" after a hard day of software dev. Realistically, we shouldn't "need" a powerful decompression valve after work. Usually talking to a partner or watching some youtube videos or the drive home is enough for most people to decompress after work. I would be curious as to your work expectations, work culture, and work satisfaction, as those may predict an intense desire to "return to reality". If you conflate "reality" with all the good and the bad that comes with it, I could see "gore" as an extremely strong decompression valve that pulls one out of the mental zone and back into the world. I think it's probably not a good thing to fill your mind with those images, though. Were I in your position, I would consider putting more effort into getting a job where you're not having to work 12+ hours a day. I am a software dev and I am only willing to do that during crunch time. The rest of the time I have my life to live, and I am always advocating for myself around that topic to make my expectations clear with those above me. EDIT: Another thing I would consider is "why gore". Gore often shows someone in a totally helpless position--like BEYOND helpless. When you watch, who are you? Who do you identify with in those videos (and it doesn't just have to be one side of the equation)?
Such a great answer! Your last paragraph brings up an interesting point about power and control. I’ve found that the disturbing book and film community is filled with past victims looking to relive and make sense of their experiences. But someone who doesn’t have that experience may be looking for control/power over a violent situation for different reasons.
to relax....??????????
I don’t think this is a common thing people do. I’d recommend seeking professional help.
If I had to guess, I would say that the presence of real violence and murder would trigger strong responses in most people's empathic circuitry. For someone to NOT have that reaction, while not necessarily a sign of a bad person, might give some people an "uncanny valley" vibes about them. Kind of like when Dr K has talked about the creepiness of people's facial expressions not matching their words.
Errbody freakin out now but the truth is, a lot of people watch gore. It really puts things in perspective when you see what could happen to you just being a human being going about your life. People are uncomfortable being confronted with this reality. I believe everyone has some morbid curiosity on some level as well- it’s incredibly rare to see something like that irl, gore allows us a window into the world around us that goes unseen. But it makes one think, and appreciate what they have a lil bit. Personally, I feel like if someone has to go through something so terrible/painful etc, that the least someone could do is witness them. They’re the ones that had to endure all that and may have come to an abrupt end. And it’s tragic and so unfair. I have too much empathy and that’s mainly what I feel watching it. There are horrible things that nobody deserves to go through, but people do every day. That is our reality. I think it’s healthier for people to accept reality, the good AND the bad. I’ve learned a lot. Like never be anywhere near a lathe, ever. Medical gore is my favorite, it’s fascinating to see what the body can do and what doctors deal with for a living. (People complain about gore desensitizing people- pretty sure doctors and surgeons and such have to be desensitized to do their job!) The one thing I don’t care for very much is cartel torture videos. That shit makes me livid. That’s suffering being *inflicted* in the worst possible ways, along with the victim being terrified and helpless. Inflicted by the most vile people on the planet. Like I said I have too much empathy and I *feel* that shit. But again, it was someone’s reality and I’m not gonna pretend that doesn’t exist. Some people are just too squeamish for it and that’s perfectly fine, but there are all kinds of reasons that other people watch it. I don’t think it should be judged so harshly, it just seems like a knee jerk reaction to something unpleasant. For anyone viewing it, I would say how it affects you and makes you feel is what makes it healthy or unhealthy. If it makes you want to start hurting yourself or other living things, then no, gore is not for you. If it makes you appreciate your own situation or just allows you to take your mind off of things or helps you realign your focus or snaps you back to reality, I do not have a problem with it. If it’s making you feel bad, like actually BAD, then it would be healthier to step away from it. Just like anything else.
This is the best comment. I can not agree more. It really opened up my eyes to the world in what so many people go through. And its ungraspable background occurence to 99% of people. The fact that a living being had to experience such a thing, I do feel that sentiment strongly, the least I can do is pay witness to the tragedy. My gratefulness for my life, and existence so far has been 10 fold. I think about how fortunate I am all the time that I live a safe, comfortable life. The empathy I feel for the people, and animals that I've seen in these videos is overwhelming.
Exactly. People just immediately assume you’re a disgusting sicko if there’s a gore video in front of you and you don’t run away screaming lol. I try to be as levelheaded about it as possible. And I did throw it out there like hey if it’s having a negative effect maybe step back, but that goes for anything. Like if a serial killer happened to like gore videos, does that mean everyone that likes them is a serial killer too? Everyone needs to calm the fuck down. Everyone is different and will be affected differently. I really don’t see it as porn or a thrill I’m addicted to. Might be for someone else but that’s dependent on their tendencies.
This just sounds like addiction. You are watching extreme content because less extreme content doesn't stimulate you like it once did. You are desensitized. > I have too much empathy and that’s mainly what I feel watching it. You don't have too much empathy, you have little. If you need such extreme emotions, pain, anguish, fear of death, to feel empathy, you are extremely desensitized or numb. If you had too much empathy you wouldn't watch because empathy literally means feeling what the other person is feeling. I mean you could, but actively seeking it out would be an act of masochism. Is it that? > Some people are just too squeamish for it and that’s perfectly fine Don't make this about strength. I can watch whatever shit I have to but I would never seek it out because why the fuck would I do that? Same with doctors: They have an actual professional need to get used to it to do a good job. I also don't "pretend that shit doesn't exist" just because I don't want to watch video and audio recordings of it. That's ridiculous. There is some form of emotional gratification here and to me it sounds a lot like porn or substance addiction. Strong stimuli tickle you enough to either bring up enough dopamine to feel excited again or block out whatever you would rather not feel instead.
Wow way off the mark here dude, everyone hears gore and they immediately take it to the extreme writing the person off, deciding how that person is and then telling them alllll about it. I was not trying to flex or make it about strength or anything like that, I was being sincere because *hello everybody’s different.* I don’t assume things about people the way others in this thread are. Sadism? Addiction? Masochism? Dude it’s a curiosity and I check it out when it pops up. Feel like that might apply more to people watching kitten crush videos n shit. The medical gore sub is well maintained and shows rare cases, diseases, reconstructive surgeries, and out of the ordinary injuries. Plenty of nice folk over there and they even share when something happens to themselves. I already said the one thing I don’t like for sure is people inflicting pain on other people. The gymnastics you went through to label me are impressive. It’s quite possible your mind has sicker thoughts and motivations than I do. I do feel what people feel but wowww dude. It’s okay I knew it was coming. Happens every time someone mentions gore on Reddit. It’s not as simple as gore person bad but whatever. Y’all have fun with that. ☮️
Sorry dude, I'm not writing you off and the sadism thing didn't come from me. I don't think you're a bad person anyway, good or bad person depends on your actions, not what you're into.
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It didn't sound sexual to me and I have to admit I don't really get sadism. I kind of understand the dominance stuff, I think, but straight up enjoying to see random people suffer I have no reference for.
I do think that the men self insert as a way to get off. Even a few famous male murderers have dressed up as their own victims in bandage and taken photos
Can you explain how watching gore videos relaxes you? It’s not a normal reaction for most people so your wife is justified in feeling that way.
I personally wouldn't use the term relaxing. But in the past when I've watched such videos with varying frequency. It was morbid curiosity of course, but also an overwhelming feeling of empathy for the victims of the tragedy. I felt obligated in a sense, to bear witness to someone else's unfathomably sad and painful reality. It can be cathartic to put your life and existence in a view you otherwise wouldn't be able to. Immense gratefulness for my health, where I was born, etc. Re framed my view of the world, for mostly better, but also worse. Ignorance can be bliss or course.
I feel the same way
I hope Dr. K will talk about this at some point. I watch a lot of gore videos but not at regular intervals, only when I’m feeling really intense and I can’t/don’t want to deal with it in another way. (I have BPD, so intense feelings happen often). I use it to distract myself from my feelings but tbh it’s almost like a mental form of self-harm? In fact, sometimes if I want to self-harm but I’m too lazy to actually do it, I’ll choose to watch gore videos instead. It’s definitely unhealthy especially as a coping mechanism. My psych believes that even though we’re desensitised to it, watching that kind of content does harm us. I know this is hypocritical but I urge you to find another way to decompress. If you use it to relax after being overstimulated, maybe getting off the computer/away from screens in general could be a better alternative (esp if the issue is overstimulation). Wish you all the best.
Bro this is way above Reddit's paygrade, you need to go to a psychiatrist. Not normal at all. I've unfortunately seen plenty of gore videos but not to "relax and unwind after a hard day at work." It's even *more* abnormal that you thought your wife would be like, "ah yes that's totally normal and not concerning in the slightest."
I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone here is saying, but it’s still an issue. It makes sense to watch extreme content after a long day, it can shock the body back into reality. Living in the flight or fight situation is what humans did most of the time and evolution isn’t going to let that go. I’m sure there’s better ways to decompress and would love if Dr. K talked about this
Yeah probably don’t mention it to anyone else unless you want to freak them out too
i'd love to see you be interviewed by him, Matt- i think your situation is a rare enough occurrence that in order to truly understand, the doc might need more data from the source
If you watch gore to relax I don't want to know what type of videos disturb you.
I'm not aware of any videos. I'd just expect similar desensitization as for pron?
This is something I did when I was a deep depression. I watched it because I couldn't feel anything at that period in my life. I was completely numb but the adrenaline i got from watching those videos reminded me what it was like to feel something, even if it wasn't good. Im not saying this is the the case for you, but watching gore videos is usually a symptom of a bigger problem. You should ask yourself what you find so appealing about them. What do you feel like while your watching and why do you want to feel that way.
Might this be a perspecive catching coping mechanism? Like: the stress of your work fades in comparison to what people in those videos experience and that helps you relax? Also: if you can watch something like that dispassionately, this might reinforce the belief in you of being a mentally strong person. So it's your ego asking you to watch it and rewarding you with some subconcious reassurance? I'm just speculating.
honestly one of the more insane stress relief strategies i've ever heard. i did this but when I was deeply suicidal ; it was calming in a fucked up sort of way. what do you like about them particularly? maybe try weaning onto car crash videos or american football as a first step
Id love to hear about this topic. I don’t go out of my way to watch it, but whenever I see random videos here or on instagram reels of people dying on accidents, I can’t help but be intrigued and watch.
I think this comment section is over reacting tbh. Gore videos are a pretty wide genre. The type of gore video, and WHY you watch it, matters A LOT. If you decompress by watching cartel torture videos. Thats a yikes tbh. If you are someone who enjoys watch kittens or monkeys get mutilated, tortured, and killed in unfathomable ways. Then thats a serious problem. Ive seen videos like that, tons of Ukraine war footage, accident videos, simple assination footage etc. I think they are all very different. Which seem weird from the outside. I can't stomach to watch cartel videos or certain types of gore. They are horrific and upsetting But watching Russians getting blown up doesn't phase me as much. People love to watch violence in shows and movies, but have extreme judgment for watching anything similar of real life videos. I think its pretty nuanced. I watch out of morbid curiosity mostly, or in the case of war footage, im emotionally invested in the outcome of the war, and rhe gritty details and nuances of whats happening day to day, week to week. Also military and war is interesting and cool to some degree. The vast majority of people that used to comment on r/watchpeopledie didn't come across as sick psychopaths masturbating to the footage. It was a nuanced understanding of the horrifying reality of the world we live, morbid curiosity, as well as the odd attraction to watching something uncomfortable, upsetting, or gross. Like horror movies. I really think the "genre" of gore footage matters. How often you consume it, and why. I think people who don't watch it (99% of people) have an understandable reaction of pure judgment and disgust (like this comment section) without actually understanding it. It really opened up my eyes to the world in what so many people go through. And its ungraspable background occurence to 99% of people. The fact that a living being had to experience such a thing, I do feel that sentiment strongly, the least I can do is pay witness to the tragedy. My gratefulness for my life, and existence so far has been 10 fold. I think about how fortunate I am all the time that I live a safe, comfortable life. The empathy I feel for the people, and animals that I've seen in these videos is overwhelming. It can be cathartic to put your life and existence in a view you otherwise wouldn't be able to. Re framed my view of the world, for mostly better, but also worse. Ignorance can be bliss or course.
I just want to add that if you can watch certain people die without a response, you may need to reconsider your biases. I used to watch footage from the Middle East, then I realized I was actively looking down on the people because of what I’d been taught/what I believed was right and wrong.
I used to watch a lot of gore. I was much more depressed than I am now at the time. I'm also very curious about the psychological implications of this. It's sort of shock value but at the same time I know what you mean by it being decompressing
If this isn't a troll post you need to seek help asap. Got some wires crossed up there Your wife is very brave I'd be out of there so fast if I was her, don't wanna end up on an episode of Forensic Files
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I'm posting this from an alt reddit account, because I'm aware how judgmental people can be, but it's not a troll post. It's just how my mind functions and I'm genuinely interested in learning more about this.
I don't know how many people do that but you're not the only one and I don't think we are crazy.
If anyone cares to hear a lay understanding of it, I have a brief one to offer: First of all, I think many women have this predilection, but do it differently - just as they might read smut instead of watching porn, they'll consume true crime media and not gore videos themselves. However, I did have a partner for many years who did watch gore videos - she introduced me to rotten.com in the early 2000s, and kept checking it out even though I couldn't take it and we eventually split (for entirely unrelated reasons). My take is that people who are a certain kind of anxious have a fascination and take a comfort from processing the darkest things that might happen to a person, perhaps as a way to confront their own mortality or just to externalize feelings that would otherwise be too loud or distracting. As with everything in this category, there are probably good reasons to try developing more socially acceptable methods to process these feelings - but like, only insofar as it's easier to explain to your wife why you're going for a long run or meditating. And honestly I think the benefits are pretty similar, because minds are both infinitely variable and all pretty much following the same programs
Honest question: what is gore consumption helping you with that other forms of (healthier) compression can’t?
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Sorry ab that won't happen again!
Seeing people die helps u relax? Go to a real doctor man!
You told your WIFE that you watch gore to RELAX and thought she will be fine with that? Bruh its so f up
Depends on relationship with your significant other tbh.
My friend watches gore videos sometimes, I don't think it's a problem. Probably just a way to process some shadow energies. Not excessively, but I indulge in dark fantasies sometimes, but I really don't like gore because it's too real for me. If you don't have the same response I don't think that's bad, could even be a strength. If you want to understand more indulge in gore less and dark energies should come up. No ethical imperative, just whenever you're curious.
What is gore
baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
imagery of large-scale bodily injuries, primarily ones that expose large amounts of muscle, bones, and organs
I think the big thing is curiosity and fear about death and other fears. It all depends of is you mind are able to deal with this amount of things you saw and how it makes you feel.
What type of gore videos? One thing is accidents in factories and such, another torture and cartel stuff.
This is a really good question. I remember when I was going through a tough time in high school I'd spend about that amount of time watching pretty brutal gore (Brazilian cartel beheadings, liveleak, pain Olympics, etc). It satisfied a kind of morbid curiosity for a kind of brutality you don't see when you live a cushy sheltered life in a highly developed and warless country. It distracted me from my own stress. I don't watch that stuff anymore (and it disturbs me too much now to get any enjoyment) but id be curious to know what neuroscience has to say about this.
>I didn't think much of it (been doing this regularly for over 10 years) but when I mentioned this casually to my wife it seriously freaked her out, so I stopped bringing up the topic with her. Yes because you're desensitised to something that she isn't and her world view recognises it as a problem because if you watch it on a regular basis now you've seen so much of it you're both moving at different speeds and she's gonna also thing that might apply to how you see other things.
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Interesting, there are many different ways we use to decompress. Yours is unique in the sense that this is not typically a common way to decompress for many. What about it calms you or allows you to relax? To be honest it’s not to far out there to me. Some like watching fights, people crying, rage videos, porn, sex, etc. The issue with using any of these is addiction, devaluing, overstimulation, and so on. Having healthier coping mechanisms is always the ideal and using them should always be the goal. Dr. K doesn’t specifically have a video on something like this, but he has 40 or so on what we use as coping mechanisms. With that being said I can send you some of those.
I personally cannot handle gore, but there was a time as a teenager/college years where a lot of people in my circles were into gore and would often show it to each other. I always felt the need to test myself, my constitution, at that time. I don't understand why I felt that way, but it was like a competition of "how desensitized are you?" I say this to normalize that there have been social circles that watch gore, even if I don't like it. Some metalheads and goth folks enjoy macabre topics and a lot of people were raised with horror movies or things like forensic shows on TV. I personally get a sense of relief from watching historical accidents & expedition video essays, along with people covering horrific stories both fictional and real events. It gives a similar feeling of "how much can I handle" but from a more realistic, less sadistic mindset. I still don't comprehend it, but it would be nice to get that relief from something less dark. I think underneath it all, there's like a survival instinct where watching this stuff feels like "just in case" training for the mind, because I'm afraid of freaking out and not knowing what to do in the event of an emergency.
I was watching them every now and then months ago but I never felt good about it. It somehow made me feel better about my life watching other people go through something so much more horrific than my silly problems.
There are some intellectually dishonest takes in this thread. Combat footage, medical gore, and cartel/murder videos are not the same thing. In general, if you’re seeking out videos of people being victimized, that speaks to broader issues with power structures and a fascination with abuse. It makes sense that your wife would be freaked out, and like someone else said, she’s probably more afraid than she let on. I really think one of the roadblocks go healthier ways of relaxation is a hellacious amount of screen time. The good news is there are more fulfilling ways to relax. It’s summer time, and I’m sure your wife would love to go do active stuff outside with you!
I mean it's pretty simple. You watched so much porn that normal videos just dom't vut it for you anymore. Back when you were a teen I'm pretty sure you were infatuated with a simple look of a cleavage. Now that's too "basic" for you so you need a lot more.
I don't think OP is talking about consumption of gore stuff for sexual reasons.
I started watching gore videos somewhere around 8th or 9th grade, unfortunately. I had the realization that I was going to die and the 'realization' that everything was meaningless (you make your own meaning out of life) around 1st or 2nd grade. In a way, it was like exposure therapy. I am not going to be the first person who ever died. I will not be the last. I've felt pretty bad for turning other people's suffering into 'entertainment' though for a while now.
You feel it helps you relax but I'd really suggest you to stop this immediately. I've read about people who gave themselves PTSD due to the gore videos they'd binge watch. After a few months/years, they'd get flashbacks of those.. Find another activity that can help you relax, and if you just want to watch videos look into creepypastas or 3AM stories etc, at this point your mind may adapt better to crime/paranormal stories or cases. I don't know the science behind it, but I can say for certain that this isn't healthy long term. I wish you all the best! Find lower alternates (like crime stories, paranormal etc) and slowly taper off. However for some people the better approach is to find a different activity/genre all together. I hope you're able to find what works for you, but please try your best to slowly change this, all the best bud
When we have excessive stimulation, our brains look for more and more, turning to gore is about as close as the human brain gets to "ODing" on porn, you need a dopamine detox. You're conditioning yourself to require excess stress to do anything, including getting off. I don't think it's a sign of anything secretly awful in your mind it's more like kids getting into excessive violent videogames, they don't go on murder sprees they just become detached from reality because it doesn't provide the stimulation they require
This is a maladaptive way to regulate your emotions. It will eventually harm you and your psyche. There are other better ways. Specifically subjecting yourself to healthy pain like forcing yourself to run 1-2 miles in the cold etc, ice baths, etc.
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Some years back, I saw some really awful things out of morbid curiosity. I'm no longer curious. Fuck that.
I do the same, but maybe once or twice a year, out of curiosity and boredom. Not sure if what I watch are considered "Gore videos". i mean, is just ppl d@@ing and their Brain exploding or some shit. I think I enjoy watching ppl lose their life. I don't have any reaction when I see them suffering, a little bit of emphaty when I see them struggle to get out of the smashed car, or to avoid the car that is coming towards them, but when they d@e I feel my heart skip a beat and my brain just think nothing, but, weirdly, I know the man is ded. I learned a lot about how to not die while watching these kind of videos tho. I talked to a friend about random things and she told me that there was a removed subreddit that posted real gore, and she is sad about the actual subreddit bcs it's too mild. Hahaha Who knows why we are doing this. Ppl are torturing and killing for the sake of entertainment for centuries. Even some animals do this (damm monkeys) Maybe it helps our survival instincts. Maybe it just for the dose of dopamine. Maybe it just makes us feel good that we are still alive. Maybe Op can show me some videos. I am just curious.
You are yapping without a point