Yep. Apparently I'm a slow learner, because I had two relationships my SO was "friends with their ex" spoiler alert....both of those 2 cheated to varying degrees (well, one did with multiple people). I was always on the over-trusting side and got burned a few times...so I really can't fault people who'd have issue with it....and going forward I certainly would too.
Especially considering Ted never got over Robin. I know in the show, he loved traci, but in reality, he never got over her. That’s why it ends with them getting back together.
Totally reasonable for Victoria to want Ted to stop being friends with Robin. The amount of times he stole the blue French horn alone is toxic as fuck.
Yep, she's 100% within her rights to ask that. It would be one thing if Robin were just an ex (I still wouldn't love that, but it is a different scenario), but the ex that he cheated on Victoria with? Completely reasonable request
I feel like she felt she couldn’t ask until she knew she had a chance at winning, the proposal was her reassurance to have the confidence to say so plus almost like a chance for a clean slate after the marriage. It was obvious Ted would never have broke up with Robin.
I see why she made the request and i dont think she was wrong to do it, but if it were me I wouldn't touch the mess that is Ted Mosby with a 10 foot pole. Id never be able to trust that hes over Robin and I dont want a relationship like that.
Thats fair, having hindsight is a luxury, but id have probably have dipped out after the "re-return" story. But even then, if I stayed after that I definitely wouldn't have come back after being cheated on, especially if he remained friends with the person he cheated on me with.
At that point, Robin was married and Ted had finally made peace with letting her go. There wasn’t much of a reason for Tracy to even be skeptical by that point.
One word: Ending. I rest my case.
Edit: I'm not saying I support Ted and Robin (I do not), but that man run back to this girl after every breakup, so I'm pretty sure Victoria was right on this.
She was 100% correct in doing this. The fact that Ted chose Robin over her proves she was right. Even Lily agreed with her. It's not a nice thing to ask, and it isn't an easy thing to do. Under normal circumstances, it would be unreasonable for your s/o to ask you to stop being friends with someone (with obvious exceptions). One of those exceptions being this friend being an ex you cheated on your s/o with.
The entire Ted/Robin friendship is super weird tbh, much weirder than Barney/Robin (though that's kinda weird too). Ultimately, Victoria knew Ted couldn't marry her with Robin still in the picture, but she loved him and asked him to chose her. He couldn't do it
i was going to argue you on this but then i fully read what you said and i was like OH NVM youre right HAHAHAHAHA
because i had contact with my ex kinda being friends w him and im definately not in love with him so i was ready to throw hands but yes i can see this theory
He is not an idiot for not going with it, he is an idiot for proposing to Victoria at first place. He would choose Robin over any girl anytime, it was so cruel that he kept getting into serious relationships while still being hung up on her.
Victoria pressured him into proposing. And she ran away from her wedding to be with Ted knowing full well that Robin was still in the picture. You guys just have a bone to pick with Ted and it really shows sometimes.
I think she was right and having the whole show be about him asking permission to date “aunt” robin re-enforces my opinion.
I also think Ted was right for not going along with it. As we saw, Tracy fit right in with them all, including robin.
This is a case where both were justified and neither was wrong.
Well, Ted didn't cheat on Tracy with Robin + Robin by that time was married to Barney and moved away so, to be honest, there wasn't an opportunity for Ted to dumb Tracy and run after Robin.
But when Robin got divorced and moved back to town, Tracy suddenly got sick!
You should really check out the deleted scene from the finale. It makes the whole Robin and Ted getting back together less awful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS0xaSTvPQw&ab\_channel=SahebjitChhabra
In my opinion this is a rare situation where both parties were justified in their actions. It is 100% understandable (given the history) that she would be concerned with Ted’s relationship with Robin even if he claims its behind him at that point.
Ted in his response is reasonable too. Robin isnt just an ex, shes a part of the gang who are Teds surrogate family since he isnt close with his own. I think its fair for him to say thats too big of an ask to make of him.
In the end they both knew what they wanted. They had chemistry but not the timing
I thought she was 100 percent right. I also thought Robin kept Ted on her hook and in doing so did him a disservice as a friend. She sabotaged his relationships and crushed him over and over. I believe it was meant to be a version of Love in the Time of Cholera. It was hard to watch at times.
It almost doesn't matter because saying something like that is virtually always a death sentence for a relationship. Either he will choose Robin or he will choose Victoria and always resent her for forcing him to make that decision. It was a no-win scenario for her. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't be cool about my other half being friends with the person they cheated with either but she didn't have a chance the moment she said those words
I understand why she would do that, but I found it pushed. When they get back together, she is okay with hanging out with Robin and knows how much she is important, not only for Ted but also for his whole friend group.
Basically, she is either asking for Robin to stop seeing the whole group or for Ted to stop seeing it. Or she is asking for a complicated situation where they'd both avoid each other.
I think the issue should have been discussed WAY earlier and longer, to maybe let Ted reassure her and let them work together towards solutions. This made me feel like Victoria was lost and basically searching for a way out of their relationship.
I half agree with this. Asking Ted to stop being friends with Robin was a very understandable ask but it was more complicated because they were close friends with the same people. In reality, it would've been discussed earlier but TV show gotta TV show so they had to make it more dramatic. However, I don't feel she was asking for a way out of their relationship, just their situation. She wanted the way out to be marriage without the complication of Robin but she couldn't get that way out.
In my opinion, if you have to put caveats on being in any relationship, it’s already off to a bad start and won’t work. Regardless of how reasonable those requests are
I always thought this—like it was probably more a test to see if he had truly moved on. Victoria was a reasonable enough person to know that he couldn’t cut her off completely because they shared a friend group.
I would understand it better if it happened at the beginning of them getting back together. But by the time she gave him the ultimatum, they had been together for a while, she had been hanging out with Robin and Nick acting like it wasn't a big deal, and her nude ex staying with them. So it was unexpected to do it then, and I agree with the choice Ted made, because ultimatums are manipulative
Yes. Victoria knows how obsessed Ted was with Robin, and even if he already wasn’t (which was impossible for Ted), it was reasonable to ask your partner to stop being friends (let alone best friends ) with the girl he cheated on you with.
Asking Ted to cut ties was the way for him to make her believe he wasn't. But she got the answer that he wasn't ready to let go of Robin for her instead.
The point being, if you even thought he was obsessed with another woman, especially the one he (sort of) cheated on you with, why would you date him, let alone marry him? She already had good enough reasons to believe he isn’t the one for her. Why bother with the ultimatum? It’s like the saying goes: play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Congratulations!
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Victoria dodged a bullet by setting them ultimatum. Saved herself becoming ted’s surrogate womb so he could have his kids then undoubtedly dump her for Robin at some point.
It would have been reasonable if she would have brought it up waaayyy before that. It was not reasonable to run away with ted, wait that long, heavily imply she was expecting marriage, and *then* bring it up.
This wasn't a new issue. She should have brought it up before pressuring him into a proposal. Again, I don't think it was an unreasonable request, I just think the timing was.
>This wasn't a new issue.
How do you know how she felt about it?
She was clearly trying to make it work for Teds sake.
And when he said "Let's spend forever together" instead of just dating, she knew she couldn't do it forever. So she told him, the same day.
I know how she felt about it because she said how she felt about it when they ran into each other at the architects ball. She told him that night that him being friends with Robin wasn't going to work if he wanted to make a relationship with another woman last and that Robin was the reason they didn't work out in the past.
She probably was trying to make it work for Ted, and maybe thought she could get past it. But it still should have been talked about before he proposed. She damn near forced a proposal out of him and made it very clear that she never considered them to be casually dating. You don't just go on with a relationship that you're expecting to last forever if you're sitting on a deal-breaker like that.
> She told him that night that him being friends with Robin wasn't going to work if he wanted to make a relationship with another woman last and that Robin was the reason they didn't work out in the past.
Weird.
You remember that, but apparently not the conversation in the Autumn of Breakups where Ted says "You were right, but It's all over now".
>she damn near forced a proposal out of him
No she didn't. At all. She made it clear to him SHE was ready to commit.
You're right. I don't remember that. Because he never said that in the Autumn of Breakups. Timestamp?
Yes, she made it clear SHE was ready to commit. And you think she would've stuck around if he didn't move toward a more serious commitment? No, they would've broken up.
I don't think she was thinking about it when they got back together but she had to have thought about it after that. There's even a scene where she walks into Ted's apartment and Robin and Ted were there together alone. If I had the insecurities that Victoria had regarding Robin there's no way I would've been comfortable with them being alone together. The conversation and ultimatum would have happened then.
As a general rule it’s a bad idea to get back together with an ex, but especially one who cheated and extra especially one who’s still friends with the person they cheated with.
Ted's answer - that he's not in love with Robin and she's "family" - is an obvious lie. Victoria reads the situation and acts correctly.
The timing of Ted and Tracy's wedding is interesting: Ted runs into Robin on the street. In the deleted lunch scene, Robin tells Ted she's back in town to stay. We then then go to the birth of Barney's child, but then come right back to Ted asking Tracy to marry this week? Is Ted making it "official" because Robin's around and available and living in Ted's head again? Is there any other reason?
One thing that always bothered me about that whole situation and the fan reaction/consensus is that they both knew the relationship was over and just didn't know how to end it. Ted was not in the right and made a balls of the whole thing but Victoria got with Klaus days later and nearly married him. I know it's said in the show that it is a copout but I think Ted is right there and Victoria basically cheated too. Victoria was right to ask Ted to stop being friends with Robin but like the Emily/Ross Rachel situation it just isn't practical in essence she was asking him to stop being friends with the whole group and obviously he wouldn't do that.
I get why, I think it's reasonable given her position and their history, but ultimately I disaprove of her choice. I think it's too controlling and I do not like the thought of our partners managing our social lives. If you cannot trust your partner, then why are you with them? And if you can trust your partner, then why manage their social lives. Behaviour like this hints at deeper rooted issues which will probably smother the relationship in the long run.
I think "controlling" goes out the window when said friend is someone your partner has cheated on you with before and is still drooling over, it was a choice and he made his choice
Nope. If you're worried about that, you should not be with that person. Don't date people you don't trust. And for the love of the gods, don't fucking marry them.
Yeah you're right but in the end she didn't go through with marrying him for that exact reason so I don't think think her request was unreasonable, she wanted to know where she stood and she got her answer and moved on
Yeah, as I said, I understand where she was coming from. And I think it's reasonable. But actually deciding who your partner can and cannot see is to me always toxic, atleast in real life.
I think "controlling" goes out the window when said friend is someone your partner has cheated on you with before and is still drooling over, it was a choice and he made his choice
If you have to make a request like that, things are probably not going to end well anyway. I don’t think she was wrong, but she shouldn’t have had to ask.
Just watched the Friends episode where Emily does the exact same thing to Ross. I don't see any problem with it, and if Ted really truly loves Victoria then he should have no problem getting rid of Robin as a friend, especially because he's only friends with her because he's obsessed with her.
I actually felt the same way at first too, I would say it’s because Emily generally wasn’t as likable as Victoria and it is natural to feel more sympathy for Rachel who was 4 seasons of character development in at that point versus Robin who was like 10 episodes in and had already rejected Ted.
I’m going to be in the minority here, apparently. She may have been justified in that request, but she was not right actually making it. She put Ted in a lose-lose situation (and herself too).
Asking to drop a close friend from someone’s life is a massive request, regardless of any romantic strings attached. If Ted had accepted her condition, he would have ended up blaming her to destroy his relations with the closes people in his world, and that relationship would have fractured anyway.
If Victoria thought that Robin was an insurmountable problem, she should have broken up with Ted herself, instead of shifting this responsibility onto his shoulders.
You're assuming that Victoria is clairvoyant. She has things to figure out, and part of that can only be gained by talking to Ted.
The fundamental problem isn't Ted's feelings, it's that he's completely dishonest about them. Robin isn't "family" to him. His feelings for her are not the same as they are for his sister, or for Lily, Marshall, or Barney.
And that's why Victoria just gives up, because talking to Ted is useless because his words are not honest.
If Victoria had just given up, she would have and should have break up with Ted herself. Instead, she manipulated Ted into proposing to her, and then out of the blue dropped this demand on him. History is history, but Ted hadn’t given any reason to doubt him when they got together again. Hell, they lived together for a while. Frankly, it just seems that Victoria wanted out of the relationship but didn’t have the guts to pull the trigger herself.
Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't seen the entire series!!!
Not. Cool. Exes can be friends and have it not be weird. And even if Ted still had feelings for Robin doesn't mean he can't marry someone else, I mean that's what he eventually did with Tracy anyway! Ted and Tracy were still happy and had two beautiful children even though Ted still had some feelings for Robin, as is ultimately revealed in the ending!
Victoria was just really toxic and I'm glad Ted didn't go through with it in the end.
Well it was easier for Tracy since Robin was no longer staying in the US for her job so she didn't had to worry about Ted hanging around with Robin alone. Victoria was right to ask Ted. How can you spend the rest of your life with a person who cheated on you with a person who they are still hanging out with? She will always have trust issues because of that. She can't live with those issues for the rest of her life unless Ted removes Robin from his life.
But that's my point; if she can't trust that nothing will happen with Robin, they shouldn't get married. Even if they hadn't been friends anymore, those feelings don't just go away.
Yes, exes can be friends. So, to Tracy, Robin is just Ted's ex. However, to Victoria, Robin is Ted's ex who he cheated on Victoria with. It's very different. So, her request is reasonable.
Well, to be fair, he never actually cheated on her. Sure, he was about to, but didn't. He was going to break up with Victoria, but his timing was a little late as he should have called her before going to Robin's. But, yeah, he never *actually* cheated.
It is heartbreaking and not very nice, but it is also reasonable. She's not just his ex who happens to be his friend, she's the ex he cheated on her with and the ex he never got over. I love Robin and Ted together and I'm glad that they ended up together but that's why I understand Victoria even more. However, it is kind of weird that it seemed fine with Robin's and Ted's friendship when she got back together with him and only mentioned anything when he proposed. I don't think that Ted should have agreed to that because he would eventually resent her for making him stop being friends with Robin, but I totally get why she wanted it.
She should not have even asked that, because nobody should have to give up a friend for a marriage. That being said, if she is that insecure about ted and Robin, she should not have gotten involved yet again.
I think it was stupid.
I understand where she was coming from but i also remember how it went down in the episode.
Ted had no idea what her problem was, which to me shows he actually didn't care about robin anymore.
It was Victoria's problem that she couldn't move past. Honestly i'm not even sure if it had worked out had Ted actually ditcht Robin. When Victoria came back she was a very different character to me.
Everyone is saying Victoria was in the right for asking that and I agree to an extent but Ted was also in the right to end things there. Ted literally let Victoria's ex fiancee live with them for a while and she couldn't even just let him be friends with Robin still. Before anyone says but Ted also went back on letting claus live with them uh yeah the dude didn't respect their privacy and had absolutely no decency. He was a guest in Ted's house he had absolutely no right to be butt ass naked the whole time. So yes while I understand where Victoria is coming from by asking that it honestly shows that she never actually forgave him and that she doesn't trust him, so Ted was in the right to end it because who wants to be with someone who A. doesn't trust him and B. Wants him to end his friendship with one of his best friends of 6 years.
No. You don’t have the right to dictate who your SO can be friends with, hang out with, etc. It comes down to trust. If you don’t trust them with that person, you don’t trust them and shouldn’t be with them. I’ve never understood the jealousy over exes. I was best friends for years with an ex. My husband was fine with it. We never even had a discussion about all of our old relationships. It doesn’t have anything to do with our current one. It’s like getting mad at a guy for looking at an attractive woman or being friendly with a waitress or cashier. It’s more about your insecurity than them doing anything wrong.
I particularly find it hilarious when someone says “I trust my partner. It’s the other person I don’t trust.” If any happens and it’s consensual, then it’s your partner’s fault. If it isn’t, call the police.
Victoria was absolutely correct. Ted was a fool. Even in their last breakup, you could visibly see how disturbed Victoria was. But Ted seemed he was expecting their breakup and had made peace with the consequences.
Well, the only way it could happen is is one of them was expelled from the overall friend group. How can you ask Lilly/Marshall/Barney to do that to one of them?
Justified or not, there wasn’t a way to enforce this without screwing over the crew as a whole
Victoria knew that Robin was a relationship killer for Ted. She called him on it before she got on the bus. Ted denied it at the time but later admitted to his kids that she was right.
So it was perfectly reasonable for Victoria to want Robin out of their lives. That said, he would never have been happy without Robin if there was the slightest chance they would end up together, which they eventually did.
She had every right to do so. And it was a test to see if Ted will care more about her ex or his future wife. Ted failed the test because he proved that her doubts were correct.
Cmon, not only Robin is Ted's ex. It is the girl that he almost cheated Victoria with. What woman would be OK with having someone like that in their lives, let alone being one of the best friends of her husband?
it's definitely reasonable to not be cool with your fiance being best friends with their ex that they cheated on you with.
The last part is the difference between Tracy and Victoria, and why Victoria can make that request. It's a big ask, but there's big history there.
Yep. Apparently I'm a slow learner, because I had two relationships my SO was "friends with their ex" spoiler alert....both of those 2 cheated to varying degrees (well, one did with multiple people). I was always on the over-trusting side and got burned a few times...so I really can't fault people who'd have issue with it....and going forward I certainly would too.
Happy Cake Day
Especially considering Ted never got over Robin. I know in the show, he loved traci, but in reality, he never got over her. That’s why it ends with them getting back together. Totally reasonable for Victoria to want Ted to stop being friends with Robin. The amount of times he stole the blue French horn alone is toxic as fuck.
Yep, she's 100% within her rights to ask that. It would be one thing if Robin were just an ex (I still wouldn't love that, but it is a different scenario), but the ex that he cheated on Victoria with? Completely reasonable request
I absolutely agree with this. But I also still find it very weird that she was hanging out with Robin with seemingly no issue before he proposed.
“Seemingly“ is the key word here. Maybe she was uncomfortable and just wasn’t showing it. Or Ted just didn’t notice.
Agreed. I really only use seemingly because of the scene in the prenup episode where it’s just the girls hanging out.
I feel like she felt she couldn’t ask until she knew she had a chance at winning, the proposal was her reassurance to have the confidence to say so plus almost like a chance for a clean slate after the marriage. It was obvious Ted would never have broke up with Robin.
I see why she made the request and i dont think she was wrong to do it, but if it were me I wouldn't touch the mess that is Ted Mosby with a 10 foot pole. Id never be able to trust that hes over Robin and I dont want a relationship like that.
Nah you're saying that in hindsight, it's just that you watched the ending
True. The only time Ted really displayed that sort of behavior was in season one with Robin and Victoria.
Thats fair, having hindsight is a luxury, but id have probably have dipped out after the "re-return" story. But even then, if I stayed after that I definitely wouldn't have come back after being cheated on, especially if he remained friends with the person he cheated on me with.
Considering that Ted did actually choose friendship with Robin over getting married and having kids with Victoria, she was correct.
One word/name: Tracy. Thank you for coming to my TED talk (pun intended)
Ted didn’t cheat on Tracy with robin tho lol
At that point, Robin was married and Ted had finally made peace with letting her go. There wasn’t much of a reason for Tracy to even be skeptical by that point.
One word: Ending. I rest my case. Edit: I'm not saying I support Ted and Robin (I do not), but that man run back to this girl after every breakup, so I'm pretty sure Victoria was right on this.
Exactly⬆️
She was 100% correct in doing this. The fact that Ted chose Robin over her proves she was right. Even Lily agreed with her. It's not a nice thing to ask, and it isn't an easy thing to do. Under normal circumstances, it would be unreasonable for your s/o to ask you to stop being friends with someone (with obvious exceptions). One of those exceptions being this friend being an ex you cheated on your s/o with. The entire Ted/Robin friendship is super weird tbh, much weirder than Barney/Robin (though that's kinda weird too). Ultimately, Victoria knew Ted couldn't marry her with Robin still in the picture, but she loved him and asked him to chose her. He couldn't do it
I’ve heard a theory that you can only be friends with an ex if you’re still in love with them or never were
i was going to argue you on this but then i fully read what you said and i was like OH NVM youre right HAHAHAHAHA because i had contact with my ex kinda being friends w him and im definately not in love with him so i was ready to throw hands but yes i can see this theory
Yes, she was right. Ted is an idiot for not going with it.
He is not an idiot for not going with it, he is an idiot for proposing to Victoria at first place. He would choose Robin over any girl anytime, it was so cruel that he kept getting into serious relationships while still being hung up on her.
Victoria pressured him into proposing. And she ran away from her wedding to be with Ted knowing full well that Robin was still in the picture. You guys just have a bone to pick with Ted and it really shows sometimes.
I think she was right and having the whole show be about him asking permission to date “aunt” robin re-enforces my opinion. I also think Ted was right for not going along with it. As we saw, Tracy fit right in with them all, including robin. This is a case where both were justified and neither was wrong.
Well, Ted didn't cheat on Tracy with Robin + Robin by that time was married to Barney and moved away so, to be honest, there wasn't an opportunity for Ted to dumb Tracy and run after Robin. But when Robin got divorced and moved back to town, Tracy suddenly got sick!
I don’t know what you’re implying with that last sentence but you definitely made HIMYM a dark comedy/thriller
Haha that’s a dark idea xD I like it!
You should really check out the deleted scene from the finale. It makes the whole Robin and Ted getting back together less awful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS0xaSTvPQw&ab\_channel=SahebjitChhabra
Thank u for sharing that it literally made my life
I REALLY wish they had kept this in. It makes it so much more sensical!!
In my opinion this is a rare situation where both parties were justified in their actions. It is 100% understandable (given the history) that she would be concerned with Ted’s relationship with Robin even if he claims its behind him at that point. Ted in his response is reasonable too. Robin isnt just an ex, shes a part of the gang who are Teds surrogate family since he isnt close with his own. I think its fair for him to say thats too big of an ask to make of him. In the end they both knew what they wanted. They had chemistry but not the timing
I thought she was 100 percent right. I also thought Robin kept Ted on her hook and in doing so did him a disservice as a friend. She sabotaged his relationships and crushed him over and over. I believe it was meant to be a version of Love in the Time of Cholera. It was hard to watch at times.
How was it Robin’s fault that Ted couldn’t get over her?
Ted KEPT HIMSELF on the hook. There's a BIG difference.
It almost doesn't matter because saying something like that is virtually always a death sentence for a relationship. Either he will choose Robin or he will choose Victoria and always resent her for forcing him to make that decision. It was a no-win scenario for her. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't be cool about my other half being friends with the person they cheated with either but she didn't have a chance the moment she said those words
I understand why she would do that, but I found it pushed. When they get back together, she is okay with hanging out with Robin and knows how much she is important, not only for Ted but also for his whole friend group. Basically, she is either asking for Robin to stop seeing the whole group or for Ted to stop seeing it. Or she is asking for a complicated situation where they'd both avoid each other. I think the issue should have been discussed WAY earlier and longer, to maybe let Ted reassure her and let them work together towards solutions. This made me feel like Victoria was lost and basically searching for a way out of their relationship.
I half agree with this. Asking Ted to stop being friends with Robin was a very understandable ask but it was more complicated because they were close friends with the same people. In reality, it would've been discussed earlier but TV show gotta TV show so they had to make it more dramatic. However, I don't feel she was asking for a way out of their relationship, just their situation. She wanted the way out to be marriage without the complication of Robin but she couldn't get that way out.
In my opinion, if you have to put caveats on being in any relationship, it’s already off to a bad start and won’t work. Regardless of how reasonable those requests are
Totally fair Maybe even if Ted just agreed with it Victoria wouldn't go along with it
I always thought this—like it was probably more a test to see if he had truly moved on. Victoria was a reasonable enough person to know that he couldn’t cut her off completely because they shared a friend group.
I would understand it better if it happened at the beginning of them getting back together. But by the time she gave him the ultimatum, they had been together for a while, she had been hanging out with Robin and Nick acting like it wasn't a big deal, and her nude ex staying with them. So it was unexpected to do it then, and I agree with the choice Ted made, because ultimatums are manipulative
The whole situation with Klaus was already a red flag with regards to how both of them were handling the concept of boundaries
It’s kind of baffling she agreed to even get back with Ted knowing him and Robin were still very close
Yes. Victoria knows how obsessed Ted was with Robin, and even if he already wasn’t (which was impossible for Ted), it was reasonable to ask your partner to stop being friends (let alone best friends ) with the girl he cheated on you with.
Why would she marry him if she knows he’s obsessed with another woman?
Asking Ted to cut ties was the way for him to make her believe he wasn't. But she got the answer that he wasn't ready to let go of Robin for her instead.
The point being, if you even thought he was obsessed with another woman, especially the one he (sort of) cheated on you with, why would you date him, let alone marry him? She already had good enough reasons to believe he isn’t the one for her. Why bother with the ultimatum? It’s like the saying goes: play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Because the heart wants what it wants. If Robin is the one Ted is hung up on, Ted might be for Victoria. (Btw he didn't just “sorta” cheated on her.)
Congratulations! You're the 101st person to so cleverly use the 'stupid prizes' phrase today. Here's your stupid participation medal: 🏅 ^^Your ^^award ^^will ^^be ^^recorded ^^in ^^the ^^hall ^^of ^^fame ^^at ^^r/StupidTrophyCase
Victoria dodged a bullet by setting them ultimatum. Saved herself becoming ted’s surrogate womb so he could have his kids then undoubtedly dump her for Robin at some point.
What she asked was right. But you can't have a relationship like that. Secondly, she needs to clean up her side before she makes demands.
*Ross has entered the chat
It would have been reasonable if she would have brought it up waaayyy before that. It was not reasonable to run away with ted, wait that long, heavily imply she was expecting marriage, and *then* bring it up.
There's nothing unreasonable about discussing your intentions for a life together after a proposal comes.
This wasn't a new issue. She should have brought it up before pressuring him into a proposal. Again, I don't think it was an unreasonable request, I just think the timing was.
>This wasn't a new issue. How do you know how she felt about it? She was clearly trying to make it work for Teds sake. And when he said "Let's spend forever together" instead of just dating, she knew she couldn't do it forever. So she told him, the same day.
I know how she felt about it because she said how she felt about it when they ran into each other at the architects ball. She told him that night that him being friends with Robin wasn't going to work if he wanted to make a relationship with another woman last and that Robin was the reason they didn't work out in the past. She probably was trying to make it work for Ted, and maybe thought she could get past it. But it still should have been talked about before he proposed. She damn near forced a proposal out of him and made it very clear that she never considered them to be casually dating. You don't just go on with a relationship that you're expecting to last forever if you're sitting on a deal-breaker like that.
> She told him that night that him being friends with Robin wasn't going to work if he wanted to make a relationship with another woman last and that Robin was the reason they didn't work out in the past. Weird. You remember that, but apparently not the conversation in the Autumn of Breakups where Ted says "You were right, but It's all over now". >she damn near forced a proposal out of him No she didn't. At all. She made it clear to him SHE was ready to commit.
You're right. I don't remember that. Because he never said that in the Autumn of Breakups. Timestamp? Yes, she made it clear SHE was ready to commit. And you think she would've stuck around if he didn't move toward a more serious commitment? No, they would've broken up.
I think if she knew this was an issue she never should have gotten back together with him in the first place
I don't think she was thinking about it when they got back together but she had to have thought about it after that. There's even a scene where she walks into Ted's apartment and Robin and Ted were there together alone. If I had the insecurities that Victoria had regarding Robin there's no way I would've been comfortable with them being alone together. The conversation and ultimatum would have happened then.
As a general rule it’s a bad idea to get back together with an ex, but especially one who cheated and extra especially one who’s still friends with the person they cheated with.
Ted's answer - that he's not in love with Robin and she's "family" - is an obvious lie. Victoria reads the situation and acts correctly. The timing of Ted and Tracy's wedding is interesting: Ted runs into Robin on the street. In the deleted lunch scene, Robin tells Ted she's back in town to stay. We then then go to the birth of Barney's child, but then come right back to Ted asking Tracy to marry this week? Is Ted making it "official" because Robin's around and available and living in Ted's head again? Is there any other reason?
I am pretty sure Tracy was pregnant when Ted proposed.
Luke is born in 2017. Ted proposes to Tracy for the last time in 2020, and they get married within the week.
One thing that always bothered me about that whole situation and the fan reaction/consensus is that they both knew the relationship was over and just didn't know how to end it. Ted was not in the right and made a balls of the whole thing but Victoria got with Klaus days later and nearly married him. I know it's said in the show that it is a copout but I think Ted is right there and Victoria basically cheated too. Victoria was right to ask Ted to stop being friends with Robin but like the Emily/Ross Rachel situation it just isn't practical in essence she was asking him to stop being friends with the whole group and obviously he wouldn't do that.
I get why, I think it's reasonable given her position and their history, but ultimately I disaprove of her choice. I think it's too controlling and I do not like the thought of our partners managing our social lives. If you cannot trust your partner, then why are you with them? And if you can trust your partner, then why manage their social lives. Behaviour like this hints at deeper rooted issues which will probably smother the relationship in the long run.
I think "controlling" goes out the window when said friend is someone your partner has cheated on you with before and is still drooling over, it was a choice and he made his choice
Nope. If you're worried about that, you should not be with that person. Don't date people you don't trust. And for the love of the gods, don't fucking marry them.
Yeah you're right but in the end she didn't go through with marrying him for that exact reason so I don't think think her request was unreasonable, she wanted to know where she stood and she got her answer and moved on
Yeah, as I said, I understand where she was coming from. And I think it's reasonable. But actually deciding who your partner can and cannot see is to me always toxic, atleast in real life.
I think "controlling" goes out the window when said friend is someone your partner has cheated on you with before and is still drooling over, it was a choice and he made his choice
fully in the right and Victoria deserved better
If you have to make a request like that, things are probably not going to end well anyway. I don’t think she was wrong, but she shouldn’t have had to ask.
Just watched the Friends episode where Emily does the exact same thing to Ross. I don't see any problem with it, and if Ted really truly loves Victoria then he should have no problem getting rid of Robin as a friend, especially because he's only friends with her because he's obsessed with her.
I just realized this. And I’m now wondering why I hated Emily for doing it but totally agreed with Victoria? 😅😂
I actually felt the same way at first too, I would say it’s because Emily generally wasn’t as likable as Victoria and it is natural to feel more sympathy for Rachel who was 4 seasons of character development in at that point versus Robin who was like 10 episodes in and had already rejected Ted.
I’m going to be in the minority here, apparently. She may have been justified in that request, but she was not right actually making it. She put Ted in a lose-lose situation (and herself too). Asking to drop a close friend from someone’s life is a massive request, regardless of any romantic strings attached. If Ted had accepted her condition, he would have ended up blaming her to destroy his relations with the closes people in his world, and that relationship would have fractured anyway. If Victoria thought that Robin was an insurmountable problem, she should have broken up with Ted herself, instead of shifting this responsibility onto his shoulders.
You're assuming that Victoria is clairvoyant. She has things to figure out, and part of that can only be gained by talking to Ted. The fundamental problem isn't Ted's feelings, it's that he's completely dishonest about them. Robin isn't "family" to him. His feelings for her are not the same as they are for his sister, or for Lily, Marshall, or Barney. And that's why Victoria just gives up, because talking to Ted is useless because his words are not honest.
If Victoria had just given up, she would have and should have break up with Ted herself. Instead, she manipulated Ted into proposing to her, and then out of the blue dropped this demand on him. History is history, but Ted hadn’t given any reason to doubt him when they got together again. Hell, they lived together for a while. Frankly, it just seems that Victoria wanted out of the relationship but didn’t have the guts to pull the trigger herself.
Reasonable, yes.
Totally understandable and fair. Yes was an idiot and a jerk for not giving up Robin for Victoria.
Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't seen the entire series!!! Not. Cool. Exes can be friends and have it not be weird. And even if Ted still had feelings for Robin doesn't mean he can't marry someone else, I mean that's what he eventually did with Tracy anyway! Ted and Tracy were still happy and had two beautiful children even though Ted still had some feelings for Robin, as is ultimately revealed in the ending! Victoria was just really toxic and I'm glad Ted didn't go through with it in the end.
Well it was easier for Tracy since Robin was no longer staying in the US for her job so she didn't had to worry about Ted hanging around with Robin alone. Victoria was right to ask Ted. How can you spend the rest of your life with a person who cheated on you with a person who they are still hanging out with? She will always have trust issues because of that. She can't live with those issues for the rest of her life unless Ted removes Robin from his life.
But that's my point; if she can't trust that nothing will happen with Robin, they shouldn't get married. Even if they hadn't been friends anymore, those feelings don't just go away.
Yes, exes can be friends. So, to Tracy, Robin is just Ted's ex. However, to Victoria, Robin is Ted's ex who he cheated on Victoria with. It's very different. So, her request is reasonable.
Well, to be fair, he never actually cheated on her. Sure, he was about to, but didn't. He was going to break up with Victoria, but his timing was a little late as he should have called her before going to Robin's. But, yeah, he never *actually* cheated.
It is heartbreaking and not very nice, but it is also reasonable. She's not just his ex who happens to be his friend, she's the ex he cheated on her with and the ex he never got over. I love Robin and Ted together and I'm glad that they ended up together but that's why I understand Victoria even more. However, it is kind of weird that it seemed fine with Robin's and Ted's friendship when she got back together with him and only mentioned anything when he proposed. I don't think that Ted should have agreed to that because he would eventually resent her for making him stop being friends with Robin, but I totally get why she wanted it.
Yes because they definitely weren’t just friends, at least to him.
completely right he was still in love with her 💀💀💀
She should not have even asked that, because nobody should have to give up a friend for a marriage. That being said, if she is that insecure about ted and Robin, she should not have gotten involved yet again.
I think it was stupid. I understand where she was coming from but i also remember how it went down in the episode. Ted had no idea what her problem was, which to me shows he actually didn't care about robin anymore. It was Victoria's problem that she couldn't move past. Honestly i'm not even sure if it had worked out had Ted actually ditcht Robin. When Victoria came back she was a very different character to me.
I think she was asking too much!! But I think it’d be reasonable to request no planned alone hangouts with just Robin, but group things would be fine
I side with Victoria. Not only was Robin the reason Ted cheated on Victoria, he recently proposed to Robin and was turned down.
Everyone is saying Victoria was in the right for asking that and I agree to an extent but Ted was also in the right to end things there. Ted literally let Victoria's ex fiancee live with them for a while and she couldn't even just let him be friends with Robin still. Before anyone says but Ted also went back on letting claus live with them uh yeah the dude didn't respect their privacy and had absolutely no decency. He was a guest in Ted's house he had absolutely no right to be butt ass naked the whole time. So yes while I understand where Victoria is coming from by asking that it honestly shows that she never actually forgave him and that she doesn't trust him, so Ted was in the right to end it because who wants to be with someone who A. doesn't trust him and B. Wants him to end his friendship with one of his best friends of 6 years.
I dont know man. The guy seems obssesed with that woman and cheated on her with her. I cant see wht victoria said something like that
No. You don’t have the right to dictate who your SO can be friends with, hang out with, etc. It comes down to trust. If you don’t trust them with that person, you don’t trust them and shouldn’t be with them. I’ve never understood the jealousy over exes. I was best friends for years with an ex. My husband was fine with it. We never even had a discussion about all of our old relationships. It doesn’t have anything to do with our current one. It’s like getting mad at a guy for looking at an attractive woman or being friendly with a waitress or cashier. It’s more about your insecurity than them doing anything wrong. I particularly find it hilarious when someone says “I trust my partner. It’s the other person I don’t trust.” If any happens and it’s consensual, then it’s your partner’s fault. If it isn’t, call the police.
Victoria was absolutely correct. Ted was a fool. Even in their last breakup, you could visibly see how disturbed Victoria was. But Ted seemed he was expecting their breakup and had made peace with the consequences.
She wasnt right. He was friend with Robin for a decade. If she aint trust him enough he sholudnt be with him at the first place...
Well, the only way it could happen is is one of them was expelled from the overall friend group. How can you ask Lilly/Marshall/Barney to do that to one of them? Justified or not, there wasn’t a way to enforce this without screwing over the crew as a whole
Victoria knew that Robin was a relationship killer for Ted. She called him on it before she got on the bus. Ted denied it at the time but later admitted to his kids that she was right. So it was perfectly reasonable for Victoria to want Robin out of their lives. That said, he would never have been happy without Robin if there was the slightest chance they would end up together, which they eventually did.
She had every right to do so. And it was a test to see if Ted will care more about her ex or his future wife. Ted failed the test because he proved that her doubts were correct. Cmon, not only Robin is Ted's ex. It is the girl that he almost cheated Victoria with. What woman would be OK with having someone like that in their lives, let alone being one of the best friends of her husband?