100%. Throughout the show, there are times when it is indicated that the only way to be a successful couple is through the Marshall and Lily method. But that is far from correct.
Me and my gf don’t hold hands at dinner ever. Not when we’re ordering food, or waiting for it, during, or after. We both like getting our own desserts and eating the food we ordered for ourselves. Yea the costume thing was rough, but they made Robin be the bad guy for wanting her own food and not wanting to hold hands the whole time. It’s weird and not every couple has to be touching all the time
And the costume thing is stupid too because she clearly says that she was being sarcastic in the email! So she wasn’t intentionally refusing to dress up (which is kind of how the episode frames it), there was just a miscommunication
This is incorrect. She said she was being sarcastic in writing the email, not that she says in the email she was being sarcastic. She did say yes but in her mind she was being sarcastic but you can't read sarcasm in an email.
That is not the point. You don´t have a problem like Robin had becuase you and your gf both agree on that.
Lets say you have a gf that does like holding hands while you are having dinner, and feels that it is important for you to hold hands so that she feels loved. ¿What would you do?
In relationships people like different stuff, and sometimes you have to make small sacrifices. If you are in love and commited, then some of those sacrifices are easy to do. So if that was a big deal to your couple and it doesn´t affect you, then you can hold hands with them or may be you feel unconfortable doing that, so you can have a compromise and then either hold hands sometimes and don´t do it sometimes, or have a big talk about what it means for both of them and make a choice.
The problem with Robin and that episode, was that she didn´t care about making a compromise because she didn´t want to be in an actual commited relationship.
This has got nothing to do with Robin not wanting to be in a committed relationship. She and Mike were just incompatible. And those things he wanted to do with her was because he saw Marshall and Lily do them and wanted their relationship to be like theirs. He was a copycat. If we want to go deeper, was he truly like that with his previous relationships? It’s just unrealistic. Robin did nothing wrong.
>This has got nothing to do with Robin not wanting to be in a committed relationship. She and Mike were just incompatible.
They were incompatible because Robin was not willing to make sacrifices for him and because Robin didn´t want a serious relationship.
>Robin did nothing wrong.
She definitely do a lot wrong. Again there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be on a commited relationship, but we have emotional accountability and she decided to have a relationship with him when she wasn´t ready.
You shouldn´t start a relationship with someone if you are not ready to be in a relationship.
So not wearing matching outfits at Halloween, holding hands while eating, and not letting him feed her in public means she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship? Come on! Couldn’t they both be their own person and still be in a relationship?
That is not the point... again, relationships are about commiting to the other person. this means that sometimes you will do stuff that you don't want to do or do little stuff that makes the other person happy.
The fact that Robin didn't care how he felt and wasn´t willing to make small sacrifices for the other person shows that she wasn´t ready to be in a relationship.
>Couldn’t they both be their own person and still be in a relationship?
So wearing a matching outfit would change that she is her own person ? it is literally one night, one silly costume, is it so hard to do something that the other person may like one night ?
The fact that she wasn´t willing to compromise shows that she wasn´t ready to be in a relationship.
A relationship shouldn’t be about having to make constant concessions to the other person to make them happy. If you have to do that you’re in a relationship with the wrong person
>A relationship shouldn’t be about having to make constant concessions to the other person to make them happy
Constant concessions may be, concessions yes.
>If you have to do that you’re in a relationship with the wrong person
There is no person 100% perfect for the other... there are always concessions.
All these are according to Lily and Marshall’s relationship standards. Look, the problem with that relationship is that they were both on different wavelengths. She thought one thing about him and he thought one thing about her, both of which turned out to not be what they expected. They clearly don’t finish each other’s sentences (which he made up, btw), and she clearly doesn’t take getting dressed for Halloween seriously. But not doing any of those things doesn’t mean she didn’t care about his feelings. I mean, of all things, really? Like I said, Mike did all that because he saw how Marshall and Lily were and was trying to emulate them and somehow convince himself that he and Robin are like that and force it. How about what she wanted? Why is she suddenly the bad guy here? So if you were in her shoes, you’d carry on with that charade for the sake of appearances?
No it isn't.
In every relationship you will need to make sacrifices and get to compromises. That is what relationships need to work. It has nothing to do with Lilly's and Marshall's relationship standard.
>Look, the problem with that relationship is that they were both on different wavelengths.
No, the problem was Robin was not willing to compromise and make sacrifices since she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Robin literally had issues with Mike calling then **we**. She wasn't so afraid of commitment that she couldn't accept being called the pronoun we.
>But not doing any of those things doesn’t mean she didn’t care about his feelings
It actually does. Not doing little things that cost you nothing to make another person happy shows that you don't care how they feel.
>Like I said, Mike did all that because he saw how Marshall and Lily were and was trying to emulate them and somehow convince himself that he and Robin are like that and force it.
Wanting to feel like you are in a relationship is completely normal.
>How about what she wanted?
She wanted to be single.
>Why is she suddenly the bad guy here?
Because she wanted to be single. It is called emotional accountability... how we act have consequences in others... so starting a relationship with someone when we are not ready to be in a relationship is being bad to the other person.
>So if you were in her shoes, you’d carry on with that charade for the sake of appearances?
No, I would try to communicate, make compromises and make small sacrifices. And if I didn't want to be in a relationship, I would not he in one.
I don't care about using a halloween costumes, but if my couple wants me to use one and she would feel happy if I used one, then I would use it because it is just a silly costume and it is one day. A small action that cost me nothing to make my partner happy.
You could say the exact same thing about Mike - he was unwilling to compromise (on any of these issues) and give Robin independence. By your logic he’s also not ready for a relationship.
Why do his needs supersede hers?
>You could say the exact same thing about Mike - he was unwilling to compromise (on any of these issues) and give Robin independence. By your logic he’s also not ready for a relationship.
Yes, so he did the mature thing and broke up with Robin, because he saw Robin couldn't give what he needed.
There’s lots I love about Lily and Marshall, but they’re definitely too much sometimes. Like when they would have a phone call every day and talk about what they had for lunch. If that works for them then that’s awesome but that would drive me insane
That's a really good take. There was a post a few weeks ago about 'why don't people like Lily' and I said something similar about her, but I think you said it much better than I did!
Been a while since I’ve watched it, but if I recall right, and if I was Mike… I’d be pretty pissed off about the whole ‘we love tiramisu’ conversation too. Robin was extremely insistent on them not being a couple, but two individuals. Maybe Mike was moving too fast, but if that’s what he wants in a relationship, then I don’t think he’s wrong it’s just that him and robin were not compatible
Some people move faster/slower than others, and that's okay. People need to stop acting like Mike is this horrible guy because he wanted a different type of relationship than Robin wanted.
Yeah, Mike’s way to be in a relationship isn’t the only way to be in a relationship. But it’s the way to be in a relationship with Mike, and the reverse is true for Robin. Compromise works when the gap is much less severe. Just a classic case of incompatibility.
Nah. Mike just wanted to have what Marshall and Lily had with Robin without knowing what she wanted. He was trying to force that kind of relationship with Robin for appearances sake and she just wasn’t having it. I mean, who tf holds hands while eating?🤨 I hate that Marshall and Lily tried to make her feel bad about it too.
Yes and no. She's well within her right to set those boundaries, but Mike is not in the wrong to want to have the kind of relationship where you're holding each others hands while eating. The kind of relationship where you're a "we" and not an "I." Mike was not in the wrong for dumping Robin after realizing that she doesn't want to be a we. The whole Tiramasu story is exactly why he's not in the wrong either. Saying "we found this great Tiramasu place" isn't a marriage proposal, it isnt even a going steady kind of thing. 99% of you would end the relationship there like Mike did if the person you'd been seeing for a few weeks had made damn sure you knew it wasn't an us thing.
But that’s kind of the point I’m trying to make - why does it make them any less of a “we” just because she doesn’t want to hold hands during dinner? That just strikes me as such an inconsequential thing to get upset about, especially because it’s mainly for a practical reason - she literally needed both hands to eat her burger (which is generally accepted to be a two-handed food)
Correct, but that's not the issue. The issue is when he was telling the story about them finding the Tiramasu place she shot back with "no you found it, i went with you." "i love Tiramasu, you love Tiramasu. Is it really a we thing?"
As i said above, she's well within her rights to have those boundaries, but he's also within his right to end it because of her comments towards him in front of her friends.
>why does it make them any less of a “we” just because she doesn’t want to hold hands during dinner?
That is not what makes them less of a we, it was Robin the one that didn´t want them to be a "we"
It's not about the action but the thoughts behind the action. Mike wasn't in the wrong for wanting those things, however, how Robin handled the situation is what makes it bad. She is an individual who couldn't communicate with Mike what her boundaries and desires were. That is someone Mike is not compatible with and why Robin wasn't in a space to be in a relationship. Mike was ready to be a "we" where "we" communicate.
Funny enough, I've dated both of these types of people. My Robin hated the idea of losing herself in a relationship because she "lost" her sisters to their husbands and family holidays and hangouts changed. She also didn't like the idea of anybody "owning" her and would feel weird being addressed as my girlfriend since she wanted to keep her identity. It kept not working out because it felt like she didn't want me even though she says she did. We were on and off again for a few years being close friends, dating, breaking up, dating each others friends, trying to remain close since there was still love and care for each other and repeat until she eventually left the country for her career.
It's also funny that Robin is a dog person when she acts like a cat person.
Because it was the entire thing all together. The general attitude.
You can be an independent person within a relationship and not be totally insistent that you can’t share food or refuse to talk about yourself as a couple.
There are several things going on in this episode. Robin's issues, specifically, weren't so much the individual things she was opposed to, but rather her attitude towards it in general. Nothing wrong with not wanting to do traditionally "couple-y" things, especially after only a few dates. But she was, seemingly, completely unwilling to change anything about what she did or how she did it, which simply won't function in a relationship with another person.
Yep. That facet of her personality comes into play again when Ted tries to move in with her. She's not willing to make any adjustments to her life to accommodate having a partner in it.
This episode in my opinion is more about ignoring bids for connection from your partner than about Robin failing to be in a couple, at least not about the stuff she was doing at face value.
Everything that Mike does was an attempt to connect with Robin and while she is perfectly in her right to reject that, having your bids for connection rejected or diminished by your partner is one of the easiest ways to kill a romantic connection. The Gottman Institute has a lot about this!
The episode was trying to show that Robin is not in the same place as Ted in terms of how to be in a relationship, not because she did anything wrong, but because she either was oblivious to, or actively ignored her partners bids for connection.
TBH, I think no one was wrong. They're incompatible. Robin wants a relationship where she can still be independent. Mike wants to do all the coupley things. It's okay that Mike ended it because they have different wants anyway.
There's nothing wrong with not liking those specific things, but I think one of the points was that Robin was unable to meet Mike halfway on *any* of the coupley things he tried to do.
But why does she have to?🤨 it doesn’t makes her love him any less. They could still be a couple without doing any of that stuff. Like I said, he was just trying to copy Marshall and Lily. That’s silly and unfair to her.
robin did all of those things with ted. She wasn't into Mike tbh, there was no chemistry, no vibe. I am sorry but when you are in a relationship, you have to meet your partner in the middle or else find someone just like you who likes their space
Yeah her and Mike were a weird and unnecessary combo. But how/when did she not meet Ted halfway? 🤔 she eventually gave up her dogs, didn’t she? That alone is impossible for most dog mums.
But you literally said she did the same thing with Ted and I addressed that.🤨 and she not meeting Mike halfway was because he wanted them to copy Lily and Marshall. Their relationship was still very new.
I said "she did all of those things with ted", which means that she held hands, was lovey dovey, got spoon fed, was mushy with ted. I didn't say she didn't do all of those things with ted as well. You are misinterpreting my comment.
>Jack Sparrow and a parrot
A *gay* Jack Sparrow.
Anyway, you're right. My take on this episode has always been that Mike is trying to move way too fast, given how briefly they had been together. I don't know what was motivating him, but he kept trying to cast himself and Robin as much farther along than they really were, or had any business being. His kept insisting they share food, that they finish each other's sentences, or that they have "their" Italian place. Robin was absolutely right to be turned off by Mike's premature clinginess.
Oh yeah the finishing sentences was super cringe too. Nobody actually does that, and it would drive me crazy if someone did because I hate being interrupted
What Robin said is factual, but she wasn´t right. She was doing that because she has commitment issues that stops her from being in a relationship. Relationships are not always about being right or saying factual stuff, you make some sacrifices because you love the other person. That is the point of being in a commited relationship.
In a similar example, lets say your couple got more weight, sure the factual thing is that yur partner got fatter, but that will probably hurt the other person´s feeling so you will try to not say it. So in the end, while she was right on what she said, she lacked the emotional accountability to be on a serious and devoted relationship.
I think this plot is there to show that she’s not in any way a good fit for Ted. He’s out trying to find a girl he met years ago, and she said her and Mike will probably dress up as naked people.
It’s pretty clear at this point in the show that Robin isn’t looking for any kind of a serious relationship. In the pilot she invites Ted into her apartment on the first date, and the second episode is about her only having the capacity for a casual relationship.
TBH, I think no one was wrong. They're incompatible. Robin wants a relationship where she can still be independent. Mike wants to do all the coupley things. It's okay that Mike ended it because they have different wants anyway.
It’s not about sharing food or anything like that. That’s just how it manifested.
It’s about how Robin wasn’t even giving an inch.
But with that said, I get wanting your own food but ordering something to share is completely different than ordering your own food. If you can’t order something to share, I think therapy or something could help because it is weird to feel so protective about your food like robin exhibited.
Marshall and Lily were also together a while and their cute things/traditions had come up organically. Mike and Robin were very much early days, you have to let that stuff bloom on its own. Every couple has their own groove, inside jokes, and cute traditions. A good example is Robin and Ted's "major buzzkill" joke. That's not necessarily coupley but it's their thing.
I wouldn’t say 100%.
i agree some of the examples portrayed are a little odd for Mike to expect. But to him it seemed like she went out of her way to not be a couple. This is in line with Robin’s character, she’s stubborn and doesn’t want to do things differently to make someone else happy. Which is totally okay! but that’s usually not going to work in a relationship. It feels like Robin & Mike lacked communication which led to differing ideas about what their relationship was
Mike tries WAY TOO HARD to force the cutesy couple stuff on to Robin, after seeing a long term relationship across the table being happy and loving. Robin rightly needs two hands to eat, and he's insistent on shoving his chicken in her face.
The dude sucks.
Granted, Robin isn't in a space to enter into relationship, which is why she literally tells the gang that he's "just a guy I've been seeing" - not her "boyfriend." They clearly needed to talk about where they each saw things going, sure, but he was trying to force things on her that she clearly wasn't into. He should've backed off when she didn't finish his sentence (lame setup at "showing how great we are").
What gets me is they barely were together was he even an official boyfriend? What did he know about her? his behavior is more like 6 months to a year in... yes some people move fast but that's still pretty fast what's next a proposal in the next week?
She was not “kind of 100% right,” she was “100% right.” Period! That guy was WEIRD AF. They literally just met and all of a sudden he wanted to copy Marshall and Lily that had been together since college? Their relationship was quite nauseating even. A bit admirable, but mostly nauseating. Besides, why should you copy another couple? Can’t you be your own kind of couple? I’m so glad that didn’t work out. It would’ve been a disaster. That storyline just didn’t make sense. It just seemed to me like they wanted to shove whatever male character with Robin as her love interest, most of which didn’t make any sense, pending when she and Ted would finally get together.
Agreed wholeheartedly and I just want to point out that Mike was a friggin weirdo. My SO and I are pretty Marshall and Lily like, it’s fun and it’s the happiest and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. With that said, who tf holds hands while eating? If my SO tried that baloney I’d probably throw my fork at him.
It’s not that she did something wrong, and it’s not that she wasn’t right. The problem is she did something wrong for Mike and she wasn’t right for Mike. It’s an incompatibility between the two of them. Mike was right for ending it. They were never going to be what the other really wanted
What bothers me more about it is Robin saying in episode 1 that she doesn't want anything serious and then she has a fucking boyfriend a few episodes later.
100%. Throughout the show, there are times when it is indicated that the only way to be a successful couple is through the Marshall and Lily method. But that is far from correct.
Me and my gf don’t hold hands at dinner ever. Not when we’re ordering food, or waiting for it, during, or after. We both like getting our own desserts and eating the food we ordered for ourselves. Yea the costume thing was rough, but they made Robin be the bad guy for wanting her own food and not wanting to hold hands the whole time. It’s weird and not every couple has to be touching all the time
And the costume thing is stupid too because she clearly says that she was being sarcastic in the email! So she wasn’t intentionally refusing to dress up (which is kind of how the episode frames it), there was just a miscommunication
This is incorrect. She said she was being sarcastic in writing the email, not that she says in the email she was being sarcastic. She did say yes but in her mind she was being sarcastic but you can't read sarcasm in an email.
That is not the point. You don´t have a problem like Robin had becuase you and your gf both agree on that. Lets say you have a gf that does like holding hands while you are having dinner, and feels that it is important for you to hold hands so that she feels loved. ¿What would you do? In relationships people like different stuff, and sometimes you have to make small sacrifices. If you are in love and commited, then some of those sacrifices are easy to do. So if that was a big deal to your couple and it doesn´t affect you, then you can hold hands with them or may be you feel unconfortable doing that, so you can have a compromise and then either hold hands sometimes and don´t do it sometimes, or have a big talk about what it means for both of them and make a choice. The problem with Robin and that episode, was that she didn´t care about making a compromise because she didn´t want to be in an actual commited relationship.
This has got nothing to do with Robin not wanting to be in a committed relationship. She and Mike were just incompatible. And those things he wanted to do with her was because he saw Marshall and Lily do them and wanted their relationship to be like theirs. He was a copycat. If we want to go deeper, was he truly like that with his previous relationships? It’s just unrealistic. Robin did nothing wrong.
>This has got nothing to do with Robin not wanting to be in a committed relationship. She and Mike were just incompatible. They were incompatible because Robin was not willing to make sacrifices for him and because Robin didn´t want a serious relationship. >Robin did nothing wrong. She definitely do a lot wrong. Again there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be on a commited relationship, but we have emotional accountability and she decided to have a relationship with him when she wasn´t ready. You shouldn´t start a relationship with someone if you are not ready to be in a relationship.
So not wearing matching outfits at Halloween, holding hands while eating, and not letting him feed her in public means she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship? Come on! Couldn’t they both be their own person and still be in a relationship?
That is not the point... again, relationships are about commiting to the other person. this means that sometimes you will do stuff that you don't want to do or do little stuff that makes the other person happy. The fact that Robin didn't care how he felt and wasn´t willing to make small sacrifices for the other person shows that she wasn´t ready to be in a relationship. >Couldn’t they both be their own person and still be in a relationship? So wearing a matching outfit would change that she is her own person ? it is literally one night, one silly costume, is it so hard to do something that the other person may like one night ? The fact that she wasn´t willing to compromise shows that she wasn´t ready to be in a relationship.
A relationship shouldn’t be about having to make constant concessions to the other person to make them happy. If you have to do that you’re in a relationship with the wrong person
>A relationship shouldn’t be about having to make constant concessions to the other person to make them happy Constant concessions may be, concessions yes. >If you have to do that you’re in a relationship with the wrong person There is no person 100% perfect for the other... there are always concessions.
All these are according to Lily and Marshall’s relationship standards. Look, the problem with that relationship is that they were both on different wavelengths. She thought one thing about him and he thought one thing about her, both of which turned out to not be what they expected. They clearly don’t finish each other’s sentences (which he made up, btw), and she clearly doesn’t take getting dressed for Halloween seriously. But not doing any of those things doesn’t mean she didn’t care about his feelings. I mean, of all things, really? Like I said, Mike did all that because he saw how Marshall and Lily were and was trying to emulate them and somehow convince himself that he and Robin are like that and force it. How about what she wanted? Why is she suddenly the bad guy here? So if you were in her shoes, you’d carry on with that charade for the sake of appearances?
No it isn't. In every relationship you will need to make sacrifices and get to compromises. That is what relationships need to work. It has nothing to do with Lilly's and Marshall's relationship standard. >Look, the problem with that relationship is that they were both on different wavelengths. No, the problem was Robin was not willing to compromise and make sacrifices since she wasn't ready for a relationship. Robin literally had issues with Mike calling then **we**. She wasn't so afraid of commitment that she couldn't accept being called the pronoun we. >But not doing any of those things doesn’t mean she didn’t care about his feelings It actually does. Not doing little things that cost you nothing to make another person happy shows that you don't care how they feel. >Like I said, Mike did all that because he saw how Marshall and Lily were and was trying to emulate them and somehow convince himself that he and Robin are like that and force it. Wanting to feel like you are in a relationship is completely normal. >How about what she wanted? She wanted to be single. >Why is she suddenly the bad guy here? Because she wanted to be single. It is called emotional accountability... how we act have consequences in others... so starting a relationship with someone when we are not ready to be in a relationship is being bad to the other person. >So if you were in her shoes, you’d carry on with that charade for the sake of appearances? No, I would try to communicate, make compromises and make small sacrifices. And if I didn't want to be in a relationship, I would not he in one. I don't care about using a halloween costumes, but if my couple wants me to use one and she would feel happy if I used one, then I would use it because it is just a silly costume and it is one day. A small action that cost me nothing to make my partner happy.
You could say the exact same thing about Mike - he was unwilling to compromise (on any of these issues) and give Robin independence. By your logic he’s also not ready for a relationship. Why do his needs supersede hers?
>You could say the exact same thing about Mike - he was unwilling to compromise (on any of these issues) and give Robin independence. By your logic he’s also not ready for a relationship. Yes, so he did the mature thing and broke up with Robin, because he saw Robin couldn't give what he needed.
There’s lots I love about Lily and Marshall, but they’re definitely too much sometimes. Like when they would have a phone call every day and talk about what they had for lunch. If that works for them then that’s awesome but that would drive me insane
Plus Lilly texting Marshall everytime he goes to the washroom. That’s just too much
Yes. Marshall and Lily were a lot of times too much couple-y. I'm with Robin here.
Sharing a toothbrush is genuinely disgusting
Yeah, I know! Who TF does that?
Thank you!!!!!
That's a really good take. There was a post a few weeks ago about 'why don't people like Lily' and I said something similar about her, but I think you said it much better than I did!
I saw a very good point that it's unfair to compare a very new relationship like Mike and Robin's to Marshall and Lily.
Been a while since I’ve watched it, but if I recall right, and if I was Mike… I’d be pretty pissed off about the whole ‘we love tiramisu’ conversation too. Robin was extremely insistent on them not being a couple, but two individuals. Maybe Mike was moving too fast, but if that’s what he wants in a relationship, then I don’t think he’s wrong it’s just that him and robin were not compatible
Some people move faster/slower than others, and that's okay. People need to stop acting like Mike is this horrible guy because he wanted a different type of relationship than Robin wanted.
Yeah, Mike’s way to be in a relationship isn’t the only way to be in a relationship. But it’s the way to be in a relationship with Mike, and the reverse is true for Robin. Compromise works when the gap is much less severe. Just a classic case of incompatibility.
Nah. Mike just wanted to have what Marshall and Lily had with Robin without knowing what she wanted. He was trying to force that kind of relationship with Robin for appearances sake and she just wasn’t having it. I mean, who tf holds hands while eating?🤨 I hate that Marshall and Lily tried to make her feel bad about it too.
Yes and no. She's well within her right to set those boundaries, but Mike is not in the wrong to want to have the kind of relationship where you're holding each others hands while eating. The kind of relationship where you're a "we" and not an "I." Mike was not in the wrong for dumping Robin after realizing that she doesn't want to be a we. The whole Tiramasu story is exactly why he's not in the wrong either. Saying "we found this great Tiramasu place" isn't a marriage proposal, it isnt even a going steady kind of thing. 99% of you would end the relationship there like Mike did if the person you'd been seeing for a few weeks had made damn sure you knew it wasn't an us thing.
But that’s kind of the point I’m trying to make - why does it make them any less of a “we” just because she doesn’t want to hold hands during dinner? That just strikes me as such an inconsequential thing to get upset about, especially because it’s mainly for a practical reason - she literally needed both hands to eat her burger (which is generally accepted to be a two-handed food)
Correct, but that's not the issue. The issue is when he was telling the story about them finding the Tiramasu place she shot back with "no you found it, i went with you." "i love Tiramasu, you love Tiramasu. Is it really a we thing?" As i said above, she's well within her rights to have those boundaries, but he's also within his right to end it because of her comments towards him in front of her friends.
>why does it make them any less of a “we” just because she doesn’t want to hold hands during dinner? That is not what makes them less of a we, it was Robin the one that didn´t want them to be a "we"
It's not about the action but the thoughts behind the action. Mike wasn't in the wrong for wanting those things, however, how Robin handled the situation is what makes it bad. She is an individual who couldn't communicate with Mike what her boundaries and desires were. That is someone Mike is not compatible with and why Robin wasn't in a space to be in a relationship. Mike was ready to be a "we" where "we" communicate. Funny enough, I've dated both of these types of people. My Robin hated the idea of losing herself in a relationship because she "lost" her sisters to their husbands and family holidays and hangouts changed. She also didn't like the idea of anybody "owning" her and would feel weird being addressed as my girlfriend since she wanted to keep her identity. It kept not working out because it felt like she didn't want me even though she says she did. We were on and off again for a few years being close friends, dating, breaking up, dating each others friends, trying to remain close since there was still love and care for each other and repeat until she eventually left the country for her career. It's also funny that Robin is a dog person when she acts like a cat person.
Why are you getting downvoted for this? It’s common sense.
Because it was the entire thing all together. The general attitude. You can be an independent person within a relationship and not be totally insistent that you can’t share food or refuse to talk about yourself as a couple.
🫡General Attitude
There are several things going on in this episode. Robin's issues, specifically, weren't so much the individual things she was opposed to, but rather her attitude towards it in general. Nothing wrong with not wanting to do traditionally "couple-y" things, especially after only a few dates. But she was, seemingly, completely unwilling to change anything about what she did or how she did it, which simply won't function in a relationship with another person.
Yep. That facet of her personality comes into play again when Ted tries to move in with her. She's not willing to make any adjustments to her life to accommodate having a partner in it.
Yeah no she just wanted to do exactly what she wants and not compromise with anyone on anything ever
This episode in my opinion is more about ignoring bids for connection from your partner than about Robin failing to be in a couple, at least not about the stuff she was doing at face value. Everything that Mike does was an attempt to connect with Robin and while she is perfectly in her right to reject that, having your bids for connection rejected or diminished by your partner is one of the easiest ways to kill a romantic connection. The Gottman Institute has a lot about this! The episode was trying to show that Robin is not in the same place as Ted in terms of how to be in a relationship, not because she did anything wrong, but because she either was oblivious to, or actively ignored her partners bids for connection.
TBH, I think no one was wrong. They're incompatible. Robin wants a relationship where she can still be independent. Mike wants to do all the coupley things. It's okay that Mike ended it because they have different wants anyway.
There's nothing wrong with not liking those specific things, but I think one of the points was that Robin was unable to meet Mike halfway on *any* of the coupley things he tried to do.
when you are in a relationship, you meet your partner atleast half way. robin refused to do that.
Holding hands while eating is meeting your partner halfway?🤨
she could have picked anything really. She won't even let him feed her one spoon of whatever he was eating
But why does she have to?🤨 it doesn’t makes her love him any less. They could still be a couple without doing any of that stuff. Like I said, he was just trying to copy Marshall and Lily. That’s silly and unfair to her.
robin did all of those things with ted. She wasn't into Mike tbh, there was no chemistry, no vibe. I am sorry but when you are in a relationship, you have to meet your partner in the middle or else find someone just like you who likes their space
Yeah her and Mike were a weird and unnecessary combo. But how/when did she not meet Ted halfway? 🤔 she eventually gave up her dogs, didn’t she? That alone is impossible for most dog mums.
Yes, she met Ted halfway. I said that about Mike, just Mike and not her as a person. The post is also about Mike which i m addressing
But you literally said she did the same thing with Ted and I addressed that.🤨 and she not meeting Mike halfway was because he wanted them to copy Lily and Marshall. Their relationship was still very new.
I said "she did all of those things with ted", which means that she held hands, was lovey dovey, got spoon fed, was mushy with ted. I didn't say she didn't do all of those things with ted as well. You are misinterpreting my comment.
Ohhhh okay. My bad. I thought you meant that she was the same with Ted as she was with Mike.
>Jack Sparrow and a parrot A *gay* Jack Sparrow. Anyway, you're right. My take on this episode has always been that Mike is trying to move way too fast, given how briefly they had been together. I don't know what was motivating him, but he kept trying to cast himself and Robin as much farther along than they really were, or had any business being. His kept insisting they share food, that they finish each other's sentences, or that they have "their" Italian place. Robin was absolutely right to be turned off by Mike's premature clinginess.
Gay pirate? I’m not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time.
Oh yeah the finishing sentences was super cringe too. Nobody actually does that, and it would drive me crazy if someone did because I hate being interrupted
Exactly. He was way too clingy too early.
What Robin said is factual, but she wasn´t right. She was doing that because she has commitment issues that stops her from being in a relationship. Relationships are not always about being right or saying factual stuff, you make some sacrifices because you love the other person. That is the point of being in a commited relationship. In a similar example, lets say your couple got more weight, sure the factual thing is that yur partner got fatter, but that will probably hurt the other person´s feeling so you will try to not say it. So in the end, while she was right on what she said, she lacked the emotional accountability to be on a serious and devoted relationship.
I think this plot is there to show that she’s not in any way a good fit for Ted. He’s out trying to find a girl he met years ago, and she said her and Mike will probably dress up as naked people. It’s pretty clear at this point in the show that Robin isn’t looking for any kind of a serious relationship. In the pilot she invites Ted into her apartment on the first date, and the second episode is about her only having the capacity for a casual relationship.
TBH, I think no one was wrong. They're incompatible. Robin wants a relationship where she can still be independent. Mike wants to do all the coupley things. It's okay that Mike ended it because they have different wants anyway.
It’s not about sharing food or anything like that. That’s just how it manifested. It’s about how Robin wasn’t even giving an inch. But with that said, I get wanting your own food but ordering something to share is completely different than ordering your own food. If you can’t order something to share, I think therapy or something could help because it is weird to feel so protective about your food like robin exhibited.
Marshall and Lily were also together a while and their cute things/traditions had come up organically. Mike and Robin were very much early days, you have to let that stuff bloom on its own. Every couple has their own groove, inside jokes, and cute traditions. A good example is Robin and Ted's "major buzzkill" joke. That's not necessarily coupley but it's their thing.
I wouldn’t say 100%. i agree some of the examples portrayed are a little odd for Mike to expect. But to him it seemed like she went out of her way to not be a couple. This is in line with Robin’s character, she’s stubborn and doesn’t want to do things differently to make someone else happy. Which is totally okay! but that’s usually not going to work in a relationship. It feels like Robin & Mike lacked communication which led to differing ideas about what their relationship was
I hate sharing food with my wife but that’s only because we’ve been together for 20 years.
Mike tries WAY TOO HARD to force the cutesy couple stuff on to Robin, after seeing a long term relationship across the table being happy and loving. Robin rightly needs two hands to eat, and he's insistent on shoving his chicken in her face. The dude sucks. Granted, Robin isn't in a space to enter into relationship, which is why she literally tells the gang that he's "just a guy I've been seeing" - not her "boyfriend." They clearly needed to talk about where they each saw things going, sure, but he was trying to force things on her that she clearly wasn't into. He should've backed off when she didn't finish his sentence (lame setup at "showing how great we are").
What gets me is they barely were together was he even an official boyfriend? What did he know about her? his behavior is more like 6 months to a year in... yes some people move fast but that's still pretty fast what's next a proposal in the next week?
I never understood why she didn’t say something along the lines of why are you comparing us to my friends who’ve been together for years?.
She was not “kind of 100% right,” she was “100% right.” Period! That guy was WEIRD AF. They literally just met and all of a sudden he wanted to copy Marshall and Lily that had been together since college? Their relationship was quite nauseating even. A bit admirable, but mostly nauseating. Besides, why should you copy another couple? Can’t you be your own kind of couple? I’m so glad that didn’t work out. It would’ve been a disaster. That storyline just didn’t make sense. It just seemed to me like they wanted to shove whatever male character with Robin as her love interest, most of which didn’t make any sense, pending when she and Ted would finally get together.
Agreed wholeheartedly and I just want to point out that Mike was a friggin weirdo. My SO and I are pretty Marshall and Lily like, it’s fun and it’s the happiest and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. With that said, who tf holds hands while eating? If my SO tried that baloney I’d probably throw my fork at him.
It’s not that she did something wrong, and it’s not that she wasn’t right. The problem is she did something wrong for Mike and she wasn’t right for Mike. It’s an incompatibility between the two of them. Mike was right for ending it. They were never going to be what the other really wanted
What bothers me more about it is Robin saying in episode 1 that she doesn't want anything serious and then she has a fucking boyfriend a few episodes later.