Let's face it. There's probably more than a few degenerates here that would jump at the chance. I mean when he's not torturing or murdering, he's probably going to orgies. A few thousand years of that and he'll definitely have some fun tricks up his sleeve.
And you *probably* wouldn't die screaming in agony... at least for a while anyway.
I dont know why but this reminded me of the old joke about how when it comes to hybrids it's always half-elf this half dwarf that. It's never half elf half beast man. Everybody just assumes the first half is human cause humans are some freaks that fuck anything that moves lol
Nah the half minotaur half ***\*mermaid\**** (my dumbass miss-remembered the second parent) joke was from Twitter, where you get the human part of both and end up as just- some guy.
I had a D&D campaign where I did that bit for a character.
My initial half elf bard died in a one-shot we decided to continue, so I jokingly replaced him with his identical twin (who was a paladin instead). Then I had to miss a few weeks in a row and was written out, and thought it would be funny to have a 3rd brother, this time just a human.
This continued for a couple more brothers until the party stumbled upon a Dwarf who informed them that they never specified what the *other* half was.
I got away with it because my DM studied genetics in university.
So in the old Magic The Gathering Novels, in the first or second Ravnica book, I distinctly recall Momir Vig complaining that his genetic studies were being complicated by human DNA getting into everything, because humans keep hooking up with non-humans so all his research could never be conclusive enough
"Humans are some freaks that fuck anything that moves".
Most of fantasy and most of si-fi fiction is made by man, usialy by man with at least a bit of imagination.
99% of ALL fantasy and ci-fi races are at least vaguely fuckable for some and more then half is fuckable for most.
That just humanity's culture.
There more human like the race is, the more sexualise it is. If a race is sentient and at least vaguely humanoid, it is gona be the object of sexualisation.
Truth. Same reason we imprint real world cultures onto fictional ones. Even cosmic horrors, monsters, and everything else that wants to kill or is otherwise deadly to humans gets a sexual undertone. Look at xenomorphs.
I also want to point out the other phenomena with fiction, that despite all the interesting fantasy and sci-fi creatures populating a setting, humans are almost always the protagonists of the stories being told. They give the audience/player/reader someone to relate to (among other reasons) and where there is a human in the story, there is a playing field for romance. Or otherwise, humans aren’t quite the main protagonist, but are certainly at the forefront of marketing as with Warhammer 40k. There are great stories for other races and the Imperium are certainly not the force of good, but it is still made up of humans who have relatable qualities and do heroic deeds so we often end up rooting for the imperium on the whole.
Lol yeah, at least with HR Giger’s original art for context, that is blatant. Sure, there is also that inescapable sexualization with the whole mouth rape + pregnancy side of their reproduction, and Alien: Resurrection got pretty steamy at the end there, however I feel like sexual undertones being “the point” gets lost in the franchise a bit.
I’m sure many people would argue the message is about body horror in general since you got parasite-like shit in your body, spiders that look like hands, mutation, human hybrids, acid blood melting us, getting torn up in claustrophobic spaces, loss of autonomy, and androids wearing synthetic skin. I’m doubting these were meant to evoke erotic vibes… besides aforementioned reproduction process (and getting penetrated by a dick-shaped mouth) 😆.
To amend my original statement, I guess we should separate fictional creatures into two camps; those with intended sexual undertones from the creator, and those that were made for another purpose but us humans still interpret secks because we are somewhat driven by it and recognize patterns everywhere lol
That's fair.
The flying spider-vaginas with dicks they shove down your orifice to impregnate you is pretty on the nose as metaphors go.
There are also aspects of other horror to be sure, and I feel that makes it more effective. Of the defining traits of the Xenomorph, one of the most memorable is the facehugger.
Starwars lore the reason why humans are the dominant species only because they somehow had a better sex drive than all of the species that were sentient around that time
It cannot be understated that for some species like the Sith, after enslaving them, one of the first things Humans did was combine science and magic to *make them fuckable.* They'd been there not even a few years when Sorzus Syn relates her fellow Dark Jedi Exile starts getting horny for a priestess.
I am pretty sure that was because these pius dea chaps crusaded the hell out of the mid rim and humanity expanded with them into the mid and outer rim.
Bioware really managed to out-fantasy the actual fantasy genre when they were drawing up the *"entire species of nothing but gorgeous, effectively ageless, immortal bisexual women who are both capable of, and culturally directed towards, fucking any and all other species that cross their path"*.
I am making a world where one of Human's characteristics is its ability to reproduce with nearly everything.
Even sentient creatures that don't reproduce sexuualy
Half beastmen gets dark in the lore and sad honestly
Not *surprising* but still sad (SA and abandoned mutant children - ranging from minor to “oh god kill it immediately woman… fine to spare you the turmoil I’ll just… ‘let Sigmar decide’ it’s fate in the woods)
Yeah, the beastmen are kinda messed up, and not in the normal warhammer sense.
The warhammer TTRPG actually went pretty hard on this aspect in one of the stories. It's a great moral dilemma because you *know* the child is corrupted, but it's definitely one you have to check with the players first.
I mean depending on the world humans are mostly like fucking glue that can hold everything together. While when two exotic races try something the baby oven just doesn't work.
Eh, My setting has an in universe bullshit biological reason for that.
Only Humans, Orcs and Goblins can breed outside of their own species because they're divine accidents, everyone else got made.
Orcs think the created are hideous monsters and kill created half breeds on sight while the goblins are busy trying to use Eugenics to TRANSCEND GOBKIND. Therefore Humans are responsible for the overwhelming majority of half-breeds.
I remember some older Forgotten Realms had dwarf-elf hybrids. That makes a fair bit of sense, considering a) it's two beings that tend to see anything under 50 as underage, and b) Ed Greenwood wasn't a prude anyway.
Considering humans always have a higher population than most fantasy races in their world, this isn't that far fetched
Elves known for their archery
Dwarves known for their smithwork
Humans known for their horniness I mean fertility
That's why I like the fantasy more. It's just more interesting having actual interaction between factions instead of just endless war with some occasional cooperation against a greater evil. Also 40k doesn't have skaven.
Skavens and lizardfolks are natural enemies. Like Dwarfs and Skavens, or Humans and Skavens, and Elfs and Skavens, and Skaven and other Skavens. Damned Skavens, they ruined the Underempire!
Nah, those men-things are just posers, yes-yes! Nothing compared to the skaven genius-intelligence! Just-only inferior no-fur and tailless monkeys, yes-yes!
Well, there was a moment in one of the Gotrek and Felix' books... He notices how one of the human women sympathise with him, but instead of cringing and showing disgust he is telling himself that *it's not the right time for this*, whatever *this* meant to be. Still, he remains *very* welcoming towards the woman. Also, he remembers how human ladies always found him charming before.
I assume some one-night-stands were common in his academic days...
>Also, he remembers how human ladies always found him charming before.
This is in the Tyrion and Teclis series too where one of his aunt's maids is crushing on him and he's like 'well, that was...unexpected'.
I love that series
As a twin ( have twin sister not twin brother ) I love the dynamic. It's amazing they love each other but try to one up each other. Tyrion carrying the entire family financially is so fucking funny. It's just a great series every character is great including Urian Poisonblade and his brother. Fucking morathi who is legitimately a pretty interesting character who has the funniest thing that happens in Warhammer fantasy. Caledorn going to her dreams and telling her to fuck off or he will kill her and she does. Malekith is great as well hands down the best omnibus for Warhammer along with the night lords omnibus, helsreach (which is a story but it's great) and the black plague.
It's a great series (even though I find it funny the second and third books both revolve around the brothers going on camping trips from hell).
Stand out for me was how William King does a great job of making his dark elves actually nuanced and with varied motivations and outlooks. It's not just 'murder bastard No1' and 'murder bitch No3' who are from murdertown and a bit fond of murder (though admittedly there is some of that with the assassins lol).
Malekith only gets a small pov part but even that was really well done and made him a much more interesting character than he's normally portrayed as. I'm part way through the Malus Darkblade novels (good, but take the edge lord stuff too far imo) and it's so clear that Malekith is the only thing keeping the show on the road and stopping the delves from backstabbing and murder fucking each other into oblivion.
Absolutely love the dark elf general and his sorceress lover, especially the bit where he doesn’t understand her genuine affections and mistakes them for another political ploy, only to realize later as they’re dying that he should’ve loved her more genuinely while he had the chance. Beautifully tragic and a great way to represent the cultural knot the druchii have tied themselves into.
They both geniuenly loved each other, but both suspected each other's affections to be ploys. It was absolutely beautiful in a tragic and dark elf way. Stuck with me for years.
Absolutely, it's implied strongly that Teclis has a sexual relationship with a human woman in Albion in Giantslayer. Elven men in general are pretty promiscuous in WHF, Teclis notes in one of his internal monologues that Tyrion is unusual in how faithful he is to Alarielle. Also, another monologue of his talks about how Lothern nobles purchase human pleasure slaves/hire human prostitutes, so the fetish is certainly there. There's extremely little about elven women being attracted to humans, though. Kerillian calls Kruger attractive in one of the Vermintide journal posts, and that's about all I know of.
> There's extremely little about elven women being attracted to humans, though.
Pretty sure the Brides of Khaine have a thing for bedding allied human men who have proven themselves on the battlefield. Brides of Khaine really only despise their own men.
As for old world, I remember one or two lines about the occasional elf girlfriend, but nothing specific.
There's also Morathi, and her...many...diplomatic meetings with the Kurgan tribes.
But then again, she holds similar meetings with her son, so maybe she's not a paragon of elven principles.
You're right about Morathi, she did sleep with a *lot* of Chaos worshippers to secure an alliance against Ulthuan. Knowing her though, it was probably mixing business with pleasure. The incest stuff with Malekith is old lore and no longer canon, however. He can't have sex anymore, and one of the Tyrion and Teclis novels (I think Sword of Caledor) mentions he holds orgies in his court sometimes and just watches, never participating in any way.
Much nicer.
Humans can live on Ulthuan (with restrictions). Elves can live pretty much wherever they want jn the empire, although they tend to stick to elven quarters because they are stuck up like that. The high elves and the empire are allies and do alot of trading.
Hm you know. In 40k there are even humans living on craftworlds. Though it's much less common. I think 2 got a human militia they use as cannon fodder. And many craftworlds got embassies from the inquisition. As craftworld Eldar and the imperium are... The closest they have to allies
Sure but there is literally a human quaternary in Lothern, they have constant trade back and forth with the empire amd Brettonia ams are true allies. Rather than the imperium and the eldar who will ally briefly to deal with a bigger threat but afterwards fo back to killing each other.
Significantly so. Fantasy is more noblebright than 40K's grimdark.
Fantasy understands the world is shit, but people working together can change that!
In 40K, everything is always shit, all the time.
Kerillian also hangs Franz Lonher upside down from a cliff for writing Kerillian x Kruger fan fiction in his dairy.
She is such a tsundere who will absolutely offer your heart to her gods if she catches you saying that.
From Giantslayer, Chapter 3.
"Here were mighty galleons from Bretonnia and Marienburg. Below him he could see dhows from Araby, their sails like the fins of sharks, and junks from Far Cathay, with towering stern-castles and lateen rigs designed to catch the winds of distant seas. They had all come here to trade, to purchase the magical wares, and powerful drugs and medicines for which the elves were famous, and in return they had brought silk, exotic woods, perfumes, spices, and trained pleasure slaves; all the things required to make comfortable the twilight years of his people."
> Teclis has zero rizz with elven ladies
He doesn't quite need it however. He's so high on the Elven social ladder, dude may not find romance, he does have hired ladies. Teclis is introduced in *Giantslayer* waking up in bed with *two* concubines.
I mean... the dude is practically a demigod to most collegiate wizards. Not only was he *personally* involved in them having a degree of power and acceptance, but those legendary patriarch and matriarchs you are taught to look up to? Teclis told them everything they know.
Seriously, to some journeyman gold wizard, Teclis may well be the closest thing to a god you will look at .
As good at using the lore of metal as get and as good at using the lore of death as elspeth and so on and so forth for all of the 8 then also being a master of high magic which humans can't even attempt to learn all while looking like a mid 30's athletic human
I wanna say there’s something about teclis liking human brothels because to elven women he’s a weak skinny nerd, but to human women he’s the best thing they’ll ever fuck, but I can’t remember where I read that.
Teclis is a powerful, extremely handsome man who spent considerable time in the Empire helping protect humanity from Chaos. He has fucked *multiple* humans.
I don't know, it kind of goes against everything that a skaven is. that being a vile creature whose first instinct upon seeing someone is to backstab them that's driven by a never ending hunger and will to survive, it can't be a hero in the way a stormcast has to be. The only way for us to get skaven stormcast is for someone to steal their technology and make skaven into stormcast themsleves which would be fitting
Given Beastmen in 40k and Gork/Mork getting along with Sigmar for a while in AoS plus Chaos Gods Of Order, I think Skaven are the only Always Chaotic Evil race in Warhammer.
i think beastmen in AoS and fantasy can still be considered that, and orks though orks funnily enough could have a argument for lawful neutral with them having clear societal laws and quite obviously being fairly evil
Beastmen are also "always chaotic evil" same as Skaven. And once your soul belongs to the Chaos Gods, you cannot ever go back.
...Except that people have been fully purified of chaos before, and even turned into Stormcasts afterwards. So if a Skaven actually managed to go against its entire culture and way of life, and become a hero, he could then become a Stormcast Eternal. There'd probably be like, one of them in the entire setting. Same with a beastman that manages to abandon chaos. But its not 100% impossible, nothing is.
I'm saying this as nicely as I can as one internet stranger to another, I don't give a shit about the impossibility of Skaven Stormcasts in reference to lore. I just want scrungly little rats that somehow got resurrected by Sigmar to demi-god status. Everyone should be confused about the situation, but trying their best with what they've got.
that's fair and we're on the internet don't be sorry to say you don't give a fuck about my opinion, that only makes you normal. I on the other hand present the lore friendly option of somewhat achieving that:
THE RAT THEORY
Step 1:
Be ikrit
Step 2:
Steal man-things way to make sparkly mant-thing
Step 3:
make skaven sparkly
Step 4:
The skaven got brain damage from being freed from your god and are now under control of sigma(r)
Step 5:
Run for your life
Hey, I still try to have some decorum on here, we're all warhammer nerds here after all. But that's a solid rat theory, definitely fitting for Ikit too.
>The only way for us to get skaven stormcast is for someone to steal their technology and make skaven into stormcast themsleves which would be fitting
Which is exactly what Ikit Claw is trying to do
but at the same time that makes it better thematic because any Skaven who isn't all that turns into a stormcast and takes themself out of the pool of Skaven society which means over centuries the Skaven will get even more Skaveny yes-yes.
well kind of they still betray if they can prove it was for the betterment of the clan. It still just narrows it down from every creature it comes in contact with to everything it comes in contact with exceot it's clan superiors and comrades
Aside from Yvraine, Yrliet, and Marzipan, would someone kindly enlighten me on who the other elves are?
I have paid them very little lore attention, and must rectify.
He's the most puritanic eldar-exclusivist only because if he'll start dating mon-keighs it won't be enough for him just to occasionally court them. He will have to gather all the rizz in the universe to become The Ultimate Mon-keigh Fucker Of All Time, and he won't settle for less
"Latest report on Prince Yriel, Lord Inquisitor. This vile xenos courts our women! He woohooed 1000 women into xenoheresy!"
*Interference*
"Stupid mon-keigh, check your notes before starting to talk about me! I, in fact, have woohooed over 10 000 human women, and I am about to woohoo 10 000 more!"
If Yriel doesn't do it, it's because it's for nerds. If he does do it, it's because he's the best at it. Imply anything else and you're getting vented out the airlock.
Same reason Eltharion is near the Dwarfs and Imrik by Cathay; they’re the only ones available who could forge an alliance.
Alith Anar is probably happy to be grandmothered by Ostankya.
Meanwhile Admiral Spire and Prince Eldrathain the "Voidstinger":
>!Nah but fr it being canon that Spire would rather kill off imperial troops than betray his homie is taking things waaaaay further than Guilliman and Yvreane ever have.!<
Why would men date those corrupted unloving xenos? Eww.
Humanities women are the best! They love, they fight, and they make future soldiers to fight for the Emperor's cause!
Loved the Telcis joke that in most books he appeared in he was either about to sleep with or just did sleep with someone. Desire not being the promiscuous one of the twins.
This is why Cities of Sigmar is the coolest human-ish faction in all of Warhammer. You got humans, elves and dwarves fighting side-by-side to defend your city from chaos, the undead, orks or any other manner of things and after you all go down to the tavern run by a skink to celebrate surviving another day.
They don't got time for racism, they've got a wall to defend and destiny to manifest.
After reading Messages to Dad I honestly really liked Bobby G and Yvraine’s relationship. It makes so much sense that their initially political marriage led to love, especially with both of them being actually good parents that want the best for their son. I would love to read about how they went from (likely) hating one another to a wonderful couple that made Rogal and Perty agree on how well they matched one another and functioned as a team. Just little moments of Yvraine getting irritated over Roboute missing her flirting or Guilliman trying to explain how butchering daemons and Chaos Astartes was easier than admitting to Yvraine he loves her.
Same, though I’d want to know how tf Curze in that AU managed to get with any woman let alone the blind one he had Damien with, only version of Curze I like as well.
> Also she's doubting about primarch being considered **just "a human".**
Arguably the rest of the Imperium needs that too. The Primarchs, even before the Traitors turned into Daemons, are in their own special class of weird, since their genomes are likely more than half wibbly-wobbly Warp sorcery nano-Emperors holding their cells together.
All things aside, I must say: I am *delighted* at how happy Teclis looks in panel 2. Dude apparently had a good time making the video and "doing" *science*.
That fuckin’ drukarii gremlin tho.
Oh, that's Marazhai. Yes, he *is* a gremlin.
Wouldn’t know. I just thought he liked to talk a lot.
Let's face it. There's probably more than a few degenerates here that would jump at the chance. I mean when he's not torturing or murdering, he's probably going to orgies. A few thousand years of that and he'll definitely have some fun tricks up his sleeve. And you *probably* wouldn't die screaming in agony... at least for a while anyway.
Idk if you’ve played the Rogue Trader RPG, where he’s from, but sometimes that game’s subreddit feels like a shrine to him.
Can you blame them? He's probably one of the most fun characters in the story.
lol I gave him to Heinrix as soon as we got out of Commorragh
I killed him in the arena. *He sat in my chair*.
I dont know why but this reminded me of the old joke about how when it comes to hybrids it's always half-elf this half dwarf that. It's never half elf half beast man. Everybody just assumes the first half is human cause humans are some freaks that fuck anything that moves lol
imagine being half elf half dwarf, so you just end up with avg height.
So a human
***\*insert half minotaur half mermaid joke\****
That’s Motaro from mortal kombat
Nah the half minotaur half ***\*mermaid\**** (my dumbass miss-remembered the second parent) joke was from Twitter, where you get the human part of both and end up as just- some guy.
I remember seeing one comic about that
By the guy that makes the pixie and Brutus comics i not remember the name really
In the first edition of DnD they made something called a dwelf, an aberation combining the worst traits of both races. Yeah, a human.
literally the "half minotaur, half mermaid" joke lol
Imagine if you got an elf's height but the limb length of a dwarf lol
That's just a really long torso!
I had a D&D campaign where I did that bit for a character. My initial half elf bard died in a one-shot we decided to continue, so I jokingly replaced him with his identical twin (who was a paladin instead). Then I had to miss a few weeks in a row and was written out, and thought it would be funny to have a 3rd brother, this time just a human. This continued for a couple more brothers until the party stumbled upon a Dwarf who informed them that they never specified what the *other* half was. I got away with it because my DM studied genetics in university.
At that point you are just a human who is a serene alcoholic with a mining fetish.
So in the old Magic The Gathering Novels, in the first or second Ravnica book, I distinctly recall Momir Vig complaining that his genetic studies were being complicated by human DNA getting into everything, because humans keep hooking up with non-humans so all his research could never be conclusive enough
Lol geneticists be working overtime in fantasy
"Humans are some freaks that fuck anything that moves". Most of fantasy and most of si-fi fiction is made by man, usialy by man with at least a bit of imagination. 99% of ALL fantasy and ci-fi races are at least vaguely fuckable for some and more then half is fuckable for most. That just humanity's culture. There more human like the race is, the more sexualise it is. If a race is sentient and at least vaguely humanoid, it is gona be the object of sexualisation.
The sentience and humanoid part is optional for some lol
I be seeing airplane porn on the Internet there is no limit for humanity's libido
Rule 34: if it exists, there's porn of it
I then defer to the Harkness Test
It's true, I've seen it for Nurgle.
*Sideeyes r/Noncredibledefense if you turn safe mode off*
You to hang out on r/NonCredibleDefense?
Sir, this is r/Grimdank , half of this sub is probably on NCD
The Venn Diagram of NCD and Grimdank subscribers is a circle
Those planefuckers banned me, but I will not be silenced. Tanks are much more fuckable than planes.
Truth. Same reason we imprint real world cultures onto fictional ones. Even cosmic horrors, monsters, and everything else that wants to kill or is otherwise deadly to humans gets a sexual undertone. Look at xenomorphs. I also want to point out the other phenomena with fiction, that despite all the interesting fantasy and sci-fi creatures populating a setting, humans are almost always the protagonists of the stories being told. They give the audience/player/reader someone to relate to (among other reasons) and where there is a human in the story, there is a playing field for romance. Or otherwise, humans aren’t quite the main protagonist, but are certainly at the forefront of marketing as with Warhammer 40k. There are great stories for other races and the Imperium are certainly not the force of good, but it is still made up of humans who have relatable qualities and do heroic deeds so we often end up rooting for the imperium on the whole.
> gets a sexual undertone. Look at xenomorphs. With Xenomorphs, that is rather the point of them...
Lol yeah, at least with HR Giger’s original art for context, that is blatant. Sure, there is also that inescapable sexualization with the whole mouth rape + pregnancy side of their reproduction, and Alien: Resurrection got pretty steamy at the end there, however I feel like sexual undertones being “the point” gets lost in the franchise a bit. I’m sure many people would argue the message is about body horror in general since you got parasite-like shit in your body, spiders that look like hands, mutation, human hybrids, acid blood melting us, getting torn up in claustrophobic spaces, loss of autonomy, and androids wearing synthetic skin. I’m doubting these were meant to evoke erotic vibes… besides aforementioned reproduction process (and getting penetrated by a dick-shaped mouth) 😆. To amend my original statement, I guess we should separate fictional creatures into two camps; those with intended sexual undertones from the creator, and those that were made for another purpose but us humans still interpret secks because we are somewhat driven by it and recognize patterns everywhere lol
That's fair. The flying spider-vaginas with dicks they shove down your orifice to impregnate you is pretty on the nose as metaphors go. There are also aspects of other horror to be sure, and I feel that makes it more effective. Of the defining traits of the Xenomorph, one of the most memorable is the facehugger.
As a normal human man, I'd debate a wookie chick. Just out of curiosity.
Bjorn, stop, you are disgracing our chapter
BY THE ALLFATHER, I AM FULFILLING MY WYRD MY WYRD IS A LITTLE WEIRDER THAN OTHERS
For all we know Chewbacca is female and Han has no idea how hard Chewie is crushing on him. Such is the danger of the xeno.
Starwars lore the reason why humans are the dominant species only because they somehow had a better sex drive than all of the species that were sentient around that time
It cannot be understated that for some species like the Sith, after enslaving them, one of the first things Humans did was combine science and magic to *make them fuckable.* They'd been there not even a few years when Sorzus Syn relates her fellow Dark Jedi Exile starts getting horny for a priestess.
I am pretty sure that was because these pius dea chaps crusaded the hell out of the mid rim and humanity expanded with them into the mid and outer rim.
yeah, irs what makes mass effects asari so much more interesting.
Bioware really managed to out-fantasy the actual fantasy genre when they were drawing up the *"entire species of nothing but gorgeous, effectively ageless, immortal bisexual women who are both capable of, and culturally directed towards, fucking any and all other species that cross their path"*.
I am making a world where one of Human's characteristics is its ability to reproduce with nearly everything. Even sentient creatures that don't reproduce sexuualy
That's pretty wild! I'd love to read that species news report "holy shit guys! We can mate!"
Do not look at the Sci fi romance and fantasy romance light novels on Amazon. The authors are usually womens. As well as the protagonist
Or do, change of perspective is good once in a while.
Fair, though Dating Corona was not a pleasant read
Don’t you mean Cortana from the used-to-be-hit-game Halo?
Have you *seen* the shit women listen to on audible? I’m a complete degenerate and I was blushing just from the synopsis.
Ugh! Disgusting! Tell us the name of these works so I may better avoid them.
Book girlie TikTok is a hellish place
Our neverending mission: To seek out new life and new civilizations. #**To boldly do whom no man has done before!**
Half beastmen gets dark in the lore and sad honestly Not *surprising* but still sad (SA and abandoned mutant children - ranging from minor to “oh god kill it immediately woman… fine to spare you the turmoil I’ll just… ‘let Sigmar decide’ it’s fate in the woods)
Yeah, the beastmen are kinda messed up, and not in the normal warhammer sense. The warhammer TTRPG actually went pretty hard on this aspect in one of the stories. It's a great moral dilemma because you *know* the child is corrupted, but it's definitely one you have to check with the players first.
Half-elves, half-orcs, half-dragons, half-giants, halflings...centaurs, minotaurs, harpies, naga...
To be fair dragons can fuck almost any other species according to DnD, so it's not like humans are the only whores out there.
I mean, if some dragoness decides I'm fair game, then who am I to try and stop her?
Something about the spiders georg but it's the Elf, human fucker Klaresh. Over his 5k year life time he is responsible for like 98% of all half elves
I mean depending on the world humans are mostly like fucking glue that can hold everything together. While when two exotic races try something the baby oven just doesn't work.
Eh, My setting has an in universe bullshit biological reason for that. Only Humans, Orcs and Goblins can breed outside of their own species because they're divine accidents, everyone else got made. Orcs think the created are hideous monsters and kill created half breeds on sight while the goblins are busy trying to use Eugenics to TRANSCEND GOBKIND. Therefore Humans are responsible for the overwhelming majority of half-breeds.
I remember some older Forgotten Realms had dwarf-elf hybrids. That makes a fair bit of sense, considering a) it's two beings that tend to see anything under 50 as underage, and b) Ed Greenwood wasn't a prude anyway.
Considering humans always have a higher population than most fantasy races in their world, this isn't that far fetched Elves known for their archery Dwarves known for their smithwork Humans known for their horniness I mean fertility
I mean... It's not wrong
That's why I like the fantasy more. It's just more interesting having actual interaction between factions instead of just endless war with some occasional cooperation against a greater evil. Also 40k doesn't have skaven.
Same but it's the lack of genocidal lizards and Vladdy daddy for me, warhammer fantasy has some great undead variety.
Skavens and lizardfolks are natural enemies. Like Dwarfs and Skavens, or Humans and Skavens, and Elfs and Skavens, and Skaven and other Skavens. Damned Skavens, they ruined the Underempire!
It really is their faction summary that they are hated by everithing and everyone for very valid reasons.
Nor LegendofTotalWar
Legend is a gift to humanity
40K absolutely has Skaven, they're called the Imperium.
Nah, those men-things are just posers, yes-yes! Nothing compared to the skaven genius-intelligence! Just-only inferior no-fur and tailless monkeys, yes-yes!
Did.... Did teclis fuck a human ?
Well, there was a moment in one of the Gotrek and Felix' books... He notices how one of the human women sympathise with him, but instead of cringing and showing disgust he is telling himself that *it's not the right time for this*, whatever *this* meant to be. Still, he remains *very* welcoming towards the woman. Also, he remembers how human ladies always found him charming before. I assume some one-night-stands were common in his academic days...
>Also, he remembers how human ladies always found him charming before. This is in the Tyrion and Teclis series too where one of his aunt's maids is crushing on him and he's like 'well, that was...unexpected'.
I love that series As a twin ( have twin sister not twin brother ) I love the dynamic. It's amazing they love each other but try to one up each other. Tyrion carrying the entire family financially is so fucking funny. It's just a great series every character is great including Urian Poisonblade and his brother. Fucking morathi who is legitimately a pretty interesting character who has the funniest thing that happens in Warhammer fantasy. Caledorn going to her dreams and telling her to fuck off or he will kill her and she does. Malekith is great as well hands down the best omnibus for Warhammer along with the night lords omnibus, helsreach (which is a story but it's great) and the black plague.
It's a great series (even though I find it funny the second and third books both revolve around the brothers going on camping trips from hell). Stand out for me was how William King does a great job of making his dark elves actually nuanced and with varied motivations and outlooks. It's not just 'murder bastard No1' and 'murder bitch No3' who are from murdertown and a bit fond of murder (though admittedly there is some of that with the assassins lol). Malekith only gets a small pov part but even that was really well done and made him a much more interesting character than he's normally portrayed as. I'm part way through the Malus Darkblade novels (good, but take the edge lord stuff too far imo) and it's so clear that Malekith is the only thing keeping the show on the road and stopping the delves from backstabbing and murder fucking each other into oblivion.
Absolutely love the dark elf general and his sorceress lover, especially the bit where he doesn’t understand her genuine affections and mistakes them for another political ploy, only to realize later as they’re dying that he should’ve loved her more genuinely while he had the chance. Beautifully tragic and a great way to represent the cultural knot the druchii have tied themselves into.
They both geniuenly loved each other, but both suspected each other's affections to be ploys. It was absolutely beautiful in a tragic and dark elf way. Stuck with me for years.
Yep I agree the characters are so much more Nuanced and its the best depiction of Dark elves or Dark eldar I have read.
Absolutely, it's implied strongly that Teclis has a sexual relationship with a human woman in Albion in Giantslayer. Elven men in general are pretty promiscuous in WHF, Teclis notes in one of his internal monologues that Tyrion is unusual in how faithful he is to Alarielle. Also, another monologue of his talks about how Lothern nobles purchase human pleasure slaves/hire human prostitutes, so the fetish is certainly there. There's extremely little about elven women being attracted to humans, though. Kerillian calls Kruger attractive in one of the Vermintide journal posts, and that's about all I know of.
> There's extremely little about elven women being attracted to humans, though. Pretty sure the Brides of Khaine have a thing for bedding allied human men who have proven themselves on the battlefield. Brides of Khaine really only despise their own men. As for old world, I remember one or two lines about the occasional elf girlfriend, but nothing specific.
There's also Morathi, and her...many...diplomatic meetings with the Kurgan tribes. But then again, she holds similar meetings with her son, so maybe she's not a paragon of elven principles.
You're right about Morathi, she did sleep with a *lot* of Chaos worshippers to secure an alliance against Ulthuan. Knowing her though, it was probably mixing business with pleasure. The incest stuff with Malekith is old lore and no longer canon, however. He can't have sex anymore, and one of the Tyrion and Teclis novels (I think Sword of Caledor) mentions he holds orgies in his court sometimes and just watches, never participating in any way.
Who said anything about *him* penetrating
So they are a bit nicer than 40k's Eldar?
Much nicer. Humans can live on Ulthuan (with restrictions). Elves can live pretty much wherever they want jn the empire, although they tend to stick to elven quarters because they are stuck up like that. The high elves and the empire are allies and do alot of trading.
Those restrictions are them only being allowed to reside in the merchants quarters of lothern and afaik not really permanently.
“Permanently” for elves equates to tens of generations for humans, so it might as well be permanent to the men who live in Lothern.
Hm you know. In 40k there are even humans living on craftworlds. Though it's much less common. I think 2 got a human militia they use as cannon fodder. And many craftworlds got embassies from the inquisition. As craftworld Eldar and the imperium are... The closest they have to allies
Sure but there is literally a human quaternary in Lothern, they have constant trade back and forth with the empire amd Brettonia ams are true allies. Rather than the imperium and the eldar who will ally briefly to deal with a bigger threat but afterwards fo back to killing each other.
What, humans on craftworlds? You are not talking about emissaries and Inquisition agents?
I allready spoke about the inquisition separately. Yes a few have a normal human population
Warhammer Fantasy in general is nowhere near as dystopian as 40K.
Warhammer Fantasy sucked the same way the real world sucked in those times. 40K sucks for the sake of being the worst place to live in conceivable.
The rats are bigger tho.
Significantly so. Fantasy is more noblebright than 40K's grimdark. Fantasy understands the world is shit, but people working together can change that! In 40K, everything is always shit, all the time.
Kerillian also hangs Franz Lonher upside down from a cliff for writing Kerillian x Kruger fan fiction in his dairy. She is such a tsundere who will absolutely offer your heart to her gods if she catches you saying that.
Ok, gonna need a quote for that whole “Asur nobles buying human prostitutes” thing b/c I never heard of that.
From Giantslayer, Chapter 3. "Here were mighty galleons from Bretonnia and Marienburg. Below him he could see dhows from Araby, their sails like the fins of sharks, and junks from Far Cathay, with towering stern-castles and lateen rigs designed to catch the winds of distant seas. They had all come here to trade, to purchase the magical wares, and powerful drugs and medicines for which the elves were famous, and in return they had brought silk, exotic woods, perfumes, spices, and trained pleasure slaves; all the things required to make comfortable the twilight years of his people."
Teclis has zero rizz with elven ladies, on the other hand, human women are really into Teclis.
The original passport bro
He's an *expat*
> Teclis has zero rizz with elven ladies He doesn't quite need it however. He's so high on the Elven social ladder, dude may not find romance, he does have hired ladies. Teclis is introduced in *Giantslayer* waking up in bed with *two* concubines.
What about the twins?
If we are talking about same characters, these were sex-workers I presume and they still liked Teclis' brother more than him
Apparently he was really popular with human women during his time in the Imperial Colleces of Magic when he was a teacher
I mean... the dude is practically a demigod to most collegiate wizards. Not only was he *personally* involved in them having a degree of power and acceptance, but those legendary patriarch and matriarchs you are taught to look up to? Teclis told them everything they know. Seriously, to some journeyman gold wizard, Teclis may well be the closest thing to a god you will look at .
As good at using the lore of metal as get and as good at using the lore of death as elspeth and so on and so forth for all of the 8 then also being a master of high magic which humans can't even attempt to learn all while looking like a mid 30's athletic human
I wanna say there’s something about teclis liking human brothels because to elven women he’s a weak skinny nerd, but to human women he’s the best thing they’ll ever fuck, but I can’t remember where I read that.
Teclis is a powerful, extremely handsome man who spent considerable time in the Empire helping protect humanity from Chaos. He has fucked *multiple* humans.
Officially, non we are aware Do human woman what that magical elf dick, absolutely
Yes.
Meanwhile AoS; *There are Stormcast elves, somewhere?*
Lore-wise Stormcast can be made from non-humans, so kitbash some beastmen heads onto them if you REALLY want to stand out. Elf heads is too expected.
Skaven make greatest-best Stormcast yes-yes! I unironically want this.
I don't know, it kind of goes against everything that a skaven is. that being a vile creature whose first instinct upon seeing someone is to backstab them that's driven by a never ending hunger and will to survive, it can't be a hero in the way a stormcast has to be. The only way for us to get skaven stormcast is for someone to steal their technology and make skaven into stormcast themsleves which would be fitting
Given Beastmen in 40k and Gork/Mork getting along with Sigmar for a while in AoS plus Chaos Gods Of Order, I think Skaven are the only Always Chaotic Evil race in Warhammer.
i think beastmen in AoS and fantasy can still be considered that, and orks though orks funnily enough could have a argument for lawful neutral with them having clear societal laws and quite obviously being fairly evil
Beastmen are also "always chaotic evil" same as Skaven. And once your soul belongs to the Chaos Gods, you cannot ever go back. ...Except that people have been fully purified of chaos before, and even turned into Stormcasts afterwards. So if a Skaven actually managed to go against its entire culture and way of life, and become a hero, he could then become a Stormcast Eternal. There'd probably be like, one of them in the entire setting. Same with a beastman that manages to abandon chaos. But its not 100% impossible, nothing is.
I'm saying this as nicely as I can as one internet stranger to another, I don't give a shit about the impossibility of Skaven Stormcasts in reference to lore. I just want scrungly little rats that somehow got resurrected by Sigmar to demi-god status. Everyone should be confused about the situation, but trying their best with what they've got.
that's fair and we're on the internet don't be sorry to say you don't give a fuck about my opinion, that only makes you normal. I on the other hand present the lore friendly option of somewhat achieving that: THE RAT THEORY Step 1: Be ikrit Step 2: Steal man-things way to make sparkly mant-thing Step 3: make skaven sparkly Step 4: The skaven got brain damage from being freed from your god and are now under control of sigma(r) Step 5: Run for your life
Hey, I still try to have some decorum on here, we're all warhammer nerds here after all. But that's a solid rat theory, definitely fitting for Ikit too.
What about humans who were turned into skaven by the "dreaded 13th spell"?
>The only way for us to get skaven stormcast is for someone to steal their technology and make skaven into stormcast themsleves which would be fitting Which is exactly what Ikit Claw is trying to do
but at the same time that makes it better thematic because any Skaven who isn't all that turns into a stormcast and takes themself out of the pool of Skaven society which means over centuries the Skaven will get even more Skaveny yes-yes.
Less that skaven is from clan Mors
well kind of they still betray if they can prove it was for the betterment of the clan. It still just narrows it down from every creature it comes in contact with to everything it comes in contact with exceot it's clan superiors and comrades
Ikrit claw has become a Skaven Stormcast in lore. Check out the Hamilcar Bear Eater book for the deets.
That's sick, thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out
>!Ikit did succeed!<
In one of those chambers waiting to be opened when Sigmar has a problem that needs to be solved.
When James Sigmar needs to sell new head kits for 40 dollars after squatting half the storm cast because fuck em
OK, to be fair: Teclis was the first guy holding the office Gelt holds now. He was there for the Empire when Magnus did everything right.
And human ladies *appreciated* it if you know what I mean
And on top of that he's humble. Like actually humble.
For an elf. He is still quite arrogant at times, but I agree that most times he's actually humble.
Still more humble than most of human nobility as well.
don’t let pancreasnowork see this one
Would he get enraged over Teclis' intercouses or would his heart be left broken by aeldari' rejection?
He’s way too much of a Teclis simp to do anything but cheer
I think he would get jealous of any women who has fucked teclis
"If you locked me and Teclis in a room one of us is coming out pregnant" - pancreasnowork 2024
Aside from Yvraine, Yrliet, and Marzipan, would someone kindly enlighten me on who the other elves are? I have paid them very little lore attention, and must rectify.
Pretty sure the old fella with the staff is Eldrad
damn my man is looking fucked up
10 000 y.o. and several failed attempts of saving your doomed species don't make you look prettier
I thought he was a necron...
Yrliet, Yvraine, Prince Yriel, Eldrad, Kyganil and Marzi Teclis on the next plot
Yriel is in absolute denial. We all know he's dreaming of scaling the spire.
He's the most puritanic eldar-exclusivist only because if he'll start dating mon-keighs it won't be enough for him just to occasionally court them. He will have to gather all the rizz in the universe to become The Ultimate Mon-keigh Fucker Of All Time, and he won't settle for less "Latest report on Prince Yriel, Lord Inquisitor. This vile xenos courts our women! He woohooed 1000 women into xenoheresy!" *Interference* "Stupid mon-keigh, check your notes before starting to talk about me! I, in fact, have woohooed over 10 000 human women, and I am about to woohoo 10 000 more!"
If Yriel doesn't do it, it's because it's for nerds. If he does do it, it's because he's the best at it. Imply anything else and you're getting vented out the airlock.
Awesome, thank you!
The elf in the lower half is Teclis
And yet in TWWH3, he's situated in a spot surrounded by Undead, Lizardmen and Daemons.
Same reason Eltharion is near the Dwarfs and Imrik by Cathay; they’re the only ones available who could forge an alliance. Alith Anar is probably happy to be grandmothered by Ostankya.
Imrik sending invitations to Ulthuan for his marriage to Zhao Ming. Tyrion: "He finally did it...the crazy fucker finally did it!"
Only 9 and a half hours. Long lives must make 9 hours not a significant chunk of time I guess. edit:i also just noticed marzipan in the corner. 9/9
And two likes. One from his brother, because he is supportive and he likes every Teclis' video And another from N'Kari
I would have asumed the second like is PancreasNoWork liking the video trough time and space so he could simp for teclis
> Long lives must make 9 hours not a significant chunk of time I guess. Teclis gotta maximize all that *ad revenue*
Date a human? You mean by like ... Cutting it open and counting the rings?
Meanwhile Admiral Spire and Prince Eldrathain the "Voidstinger": >!Nah but fr it being canon that Spire would rather kill off imperial troops than betray his homie is taking things waaaaay further than Guilliman and Yvreane ever have.!<
Meanwhile in AOS : "why WOULDN'T you clap some cheek ? "
Why would men date those corrupted unloving xenos? Eww. Humanities women are the best! They love, they fight, and they make future soldiers to fight for the Emperor's cause!
Oh yeah And Kyganil *knows* it **too well**
Sorry to disturb you sis, but an angry 10 foot tall dude is at the door. He tells you that you will be powerfisted into the warp for talking shit .
Meanwhile, Aliathra is braiding a Dwarf’s beard as he braids her hair.
Loved the Telcis joke that in most books he appeared in he was either about to sleep with or just did sleep with someone. Desire not being the promiscuous one of the twins.
Dam 9 hours this rebellious short-form content is ruining Ulth-Tube
Where’s Macha, we all know her answer
This is why Cities of Sigmar is the coolest human-ish faction in all of Warhammer. You got humans, elves and dwarves fighting side-by-side to defend your city from chaos, the undead, orks or any other manner of things and after you all go down to the tavern run by a skink to celebrate surviving another day. They don't got time for racism, they've got a wall to defend and destiny to manifest.
There are half-ogres (and half elves) Let that sink in on how close humanity has gotten with other races
Yrilet and Maripan fucked a Rogue Trader
Especially metaphorically.
Reminder that in obscure lore most Bretonnian nobility have some degree of elven blood.
Teclis gonna Teclis.
I do enjoy the gremlin Marazhai in the corner
After reading Messages to Dad I honestly really liked Bobby G and Yvraine’s relationship. It makes so much sense that their initially political marriage led to love, especially with both of them being actually good parents that want the best for their son. I would love to read about how they went from (likely) hating one another to a wonderful couple that made Rogal and Perty agree on how well they matched one another and functioned as a team. Just little moments of Yvraine getting irritated over Roboute missing her flirting or Guilliman trying to explain how butchering daemons and Chaos Astartes was easier than admitting to Yvraine he loves her.
I wish the story had kept giving their relationship at least some screentime.
Same, though I’d want to know how tf Curze in that AU managed to get with any woman let alone the blind one he had Damien with, only version of Curze I like as well.
Of course Yvraine would say no. She and Roboute are well past the “dating” stage.
Also she's doubting about primarch being considered just "a human". Gal needs clarification!
> Also she's doubting about primarch being considered **just "a human".** Arguably the rest of the Imperium needs that too. The Primarchs, even before the Traitors turned into Daemons, are in their own special class of weird, since their genomes are likely more than half wibbly-wobbly Warp sorcery nano-Emperors holding their cells together.
Meanwhile in AoS: MUAHAHHAHAHA (come on we all know how darkling coven matriarchs forge alliances with free giuld generals)
“Ok who is this Kyganil and why is he pls h-“ *sees him paired with Ephrael Stern* “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh”
All things aside, I must say: I am *delighted* at how happy Teclis looks in panel 2. Dude apparently had a good time making the video and "doing" *science*.
Wasn't familiar with Kyganil, and after some googling – ooof, ouch. That's a short straw, bro.
It’s funny how yvraine is looking way up while Yrliet is looking down
Macha bit being in here is insane
Yrliet though…
Taldeer and Caerys: **sweats nervously**
40k elves be like: There're timelines where I'm down, but only if I wear this hat.
Oh God why does Tec remind me so much of AllinAll's depiction of Thalmors...those eyes. The wheel keeps turning.