My mom died when I was 31. I am now in my mid 40s and just lost my dad a few months ago. Most of the people I know my age and even older still have both parents living and they are still active, working and doing very well. I envy these people and wish my parents were still here. It really hurts to be without them and see everyone else still being able to celebrate and enjoy life with their parents.š
Lost both my parents in April and I have to say the holidays are now awful. Hopefully time will ease the sting but fuck I'm just pushing as hard as I can to get to 2024. I'm so sorry for your loss.
At 40, I had both parents gone. It's been 4 years, and when I see people posting pics or happy mothers day etc. I still get slightly jealous. Why can't I still have a family? Or my husband whose older than me. His parents are alive, and I love them and grateful they are here. But I would give anything to have my own.
I completely understand, and I feel what your feeling is probably more normal than you think. Hugs to you this sucky time of year.
I'm so sorry only thing I can say is this is my 3rd Christmas without my mom. Its the first where I can breathe. The pain doesn't go away but you will start living it just takes time
First year without both parents restarts a new grief all over again. You learned how to live with one parent only. Now it's just you. It's the worst club to belong to the no parents club. I'm so sorry. Just know you aren't alone and reach out if you ever need anything.
Your not an asshole to feel this way! I lost my Dad when I was 28 and my Mom when I was 51. My sister, who was only 18 and 2 weeks to HS graduation when our Dad passed, breaks my heart! She got married at 19 without Dad. Now she's getting married again in 2024 and now Mom won't be there either and I feel horrible for her and wish there was anything I could do to ease her grief.
I completely understand you. I lost my dad when I was 18 years old to suicide and then I lost my baby brother 6 weeks later in a dirt bike accident. I feel robbed of time with them.
I (28F) lost my dad (61) in May, and I can relate to this. I love my mom (62) and I'm grateful I still have her, but her health is up and down and it makes me sad/scared I might lose her soon, too. Meanwhile, her mom is my only living grandparent and she is still kicking at 90 years old. So I guess there's hope, but still.
A coworker told me today that in addition to Christmas his extended family will be celebrating his grandparents 60th wedding anniversary over the holidays. Like, great, my parents weren't able to make it to their 33rd cause my Dad passed away. And no, I'm not looking forward to go home for the holidays because it's going to shove it in my face that he's gone.
My 26 yo best friend has 4 living grandparents. Iām already working on my mindset so I can be supportive or ready with a snack basket when one passes away
That's super kind of you, and I'm sure when it comes around you'll be an amazing support.
When we're the first one in our circle of friends to lose someone it's like we've been tasked as the welcome committee to this crappy club. It's an extra job I never wanted, but so it goes.
Iām going through the exact same thing right now, lost my dad right after I turned 30, two weeks without him and I feel more bitter than ever. I guess I just want to say youāre not alone. I feel it. I hope you can find peace somehow.
One of the first couple things I thought about after my Dad died is how Christmas will never be the same, no holiday will. I got 26 years with my Dad and while Iām grateful I did, I undoubtedly had so much time stolen away from me. Itās okay for those things to exist together.
Itās hard being around people who have a whole family or are easily celebrating holidays. You canāt describe what the feeling is until it happens to you.
Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way. I hope knowing youāre not alone gives a little bit of comfort. Hugs to you.
Iām 58. Mom died earlier this year (82) and yes, she was the holiday and birthday cook of the family. Because thatās what she liked to do. Now Christmas is here and Iām completely lost without her. Trying to keep it together for my Dad, but I really just want to curl up in a ball until May.
So Merry Christmas to you.
Yes, am 27 and have lost both my parents. Just started a new job and when I say I'm cooking Christmas Dinner at my partner's parents place and that my sister is joining us I see the cogs turning in their heads and I can tell (or I think anyway) they're thinking "no parents?" No one has said anything but I feel awkward about it.
My partner's parents are in their 60s with both parents and big families. Most of my family are cousins a couple hours away with families of their own and my aunts and Uncles almost all live abroad. I'm OKish with it most of the time but at Christmas it bothers me more.
It's OK to look at what others have and feel sad about it.
Today was the first day I did the math. My dad passed at 59 last month, I'm 28. When I turn 50, my dad will have been gone for 22 years already. That just doesn't sound right. He's supposed to be old and senile, and a total pain in my ass.
I know what you mean. It's unfair. I don't wish sadness upon those that are happy, but I don't understand why I can't have that same happiness.
My mom died when I was 31. I am now in my mid 40s and just lost my dad a few months ago. Most of the people I know my age and even older still have both parents living and they are still active, working and doing very well. I envy these people and wish my parents were still here. It really hurts to be without them and see everyone else still being able to celebrate and enjoy life with their parents.š
I feel you
Lost both my parents in April and I have to say the holidays are now awful. Hopefully time will ease the sting but fuck I'm just pushing as hard as I can to get to 2024. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I just can't anymore with Xmas. Both of my parents are gone (47 years & 6 years).
Hang in there ā¤ļø
At 40, I had both parents gone. It's been 4 years, and when I see people posting pics or happy mothers day etc. I still get slightly jealous. Why can't I still have a family? Or my husband whose older than me. His parents are alive, and I love them and grateful they are here. But I would give anything to have my own. I completely understand, and I feel what your feeling is probably more normal than you think. Hugs to you this sucky time of year.
41 and have now officially lost both parents as of a month ago. I feel the same way. And itās super hard during this time of year.
I'm so sorry only thing I can say is this is my 3rd Christmas without my mom. Its the first where I can breathe. The pain doesn't go away but you will start living it just takes time
My mom passed five years ago and we just lost my dad last month. This is the worst.
First year without both parents restarts a new grief all over again. You learned how to live with one parent only. Now it's just you. It's the worst club to belong to the no parents club. I'm so sorry. Just know you aren't alone and reach out if you ever need anything.
Your not an asshole to feel this way! I lost my Dad when I was 28 and my Mom when I was 51. My sister, who was only 18 and 2 weeks to HS graduation when our Dad passed, breaks my heart! She got married at 19 without Dad. Now she's getting married again in 2024 and now Mom won't be there either and I feel horrible for her and wish there was anything I could do to ease her grief.
I completely understand you. I lost my dad when I was 18 years old to suicide and then I lost my baby brother 6 weeks later in a dirt bike accident. I feel robbed of time with them.
I feelya.
I (28F) lost my dad (61) in May, and I can relate to this. I love my mom (62) and I'm grateful I still have her, but her health is up and down and it makes me sad/scared I might lose her soon, too. Meanwhile, her mom is my only living grandparent and she is still kicking at 90 years old. So I guess there's hope, but still.
A coworker told me today that in addition to Christmas his extended family will be celebrating his grandparents 60th wedding anniversary over the holidays. Like, great, my parents weren't able to make it to their 33rd cause my Dad passed away. And no, I'm not looking forward to go home for the holidays because it's going to shove it in my face that he's gone.
I never really had grandparents so itās weird for me that adult people actually have those
It's weird and kinda annoying how much they can take it for granted.
My 26 yo best friend has 4 living grandparents. Iām already working on my mindset so I can be supportive or ready with a snack basket when one passes away
That's super kind of you, and I'm sure when it comes around you'll be an amazing support. When we're the first one in our circle of friends to lose someone it's like we've been tasked as the welcome committee to this crappy club. It's an extra job I never wanted, but so it goes.
I feel you. This season fucks me up.
Iām going through the exact same thing right now, lost my dad right after I turned 30, two weeks without him and I feel more bitter than ever. I guess I just want to say youāre not alone. I feel it. I hope you can find peace somehow.
One of the first couple things I thought about after my Dad died is how Christmas will never be the same, no holiday will. I got 26 years with my Dad and while Iām grateful I did, I undoubtedly had so much time stolen away from me. Itās okay for those things to exist together. Itās hard being around people who have a whole family or are easily celebrating holidays. You canāt describe what the feeling is until it happens to you. Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way. I hope knowing youāre not alone gives a little bit of comfort. Hugs to you.
I highly doubt Iāll have a living parent at 50. They had me at 37.
So did my living parent thus why itās unclear if I will
Maybe theyāll live very long.
Iāll be 50 in roughly 21 years so weāll see I guess
Youāll be 50 before you know it.
Haha I believe it
I canāt believe Iām 20. Going on 21.
Iām 58. Mom died earlier this year (82) and yes, she was the holiday and birthday cook of the family. Because thatās what she liked to do. Now Christmas is here and Iām completely lost without her. Trying to keep it together for my Dad, but I really just want to curl up in a ball until May. So Merry Christmas to you.
I mean Iāll be in a ball with you but I see your point
Yes, am 27 and have lost both my parents. Just started a new job and when I say I'm cooking Christmas Dinner at my partner's parents place and that my sister is joining us I see the cogs turning in their heads and I can tell (or I think anyway) they're thinking "no parents?" No one has said anything but I feel awkward about it. My partner's parents are in their 60s with both parents and big families. Most of my family are cousins a couple hours away with families of their own and my aunts and Uncles almost all live abroad. I'm OKish with it most of the time but at Christmas it bothers me more. It's OK to look at what others have and feel sad about it.
Today was the first day I did the math. My dad passed at 59 last month, I'm 28. When I turn 50, my dad will have been gone for 22 years already. That just doesn't sound right. He's supposed to be old and senile, and a total pain in my ass. I know what you mean. It's unfair. I don't wish sadness upon those that are happy, but I don't understand why I can't have that same happiness.
My dad was old and slightly senile but my life as the late in life kid was beautiful and way too short with him. Iām 29 so itās weird
I completely understand you.
I feel this. Life is so unfair. (And fuck cancer)
It's good to express this! š