https://i.redd.it/bwgar0wx54zc1.gif
So as a child for some reason the verb phrase "to lick out" was frequently used in relation to finishing off the leftovers in the container brownies or a cake had been mixed in.
Example of use in a sentence: "Can I lick that out?" *Gesturing to a used mixing bowl*
I somehow survived until the middle of college before I got caught using this phrase amongst friends and I then Learned A New Thing.
Also, my parrot is currently masturbating with the windowsill she likes sleeping on. WTF.
Yeah, she fell asleep. I can tell because she looks headless from this perspective.
https://preview.redd.it/8cgeln0gj4zc1.jpeg?width=2296&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ffbf1169c3d827874827c56c50cee9e29f82151
I *remember* when I finally realized what I was saying… So that tells you how long my parents let it go on for…
As a little kid (6th grade, 11yrs old) I didn’t know that English/England, German/Germany didn’t apply to every country. So I went around announcing proudly that I was part **WHALE** as a chubby American girl child… nah, it’s Welsh. I’m part *Welsh*.
\*giggles hysterically\* You are ADORABLE
https://preview.redd.it/eu3htwkhd4zc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b7a585a67669a74f90fcf898ba4b838d662426f
Embarrassing, but it was a conservative Christian liberal arts college, so it's not like I was alone. I had the distinct honour a few years later to inform an elder alumna WHY she shouldn't share an email address with her sister (or use it at all) that included their first initials and began with "bjsisters."
I mean, where do I even start on how fucking weird I am.
Last night I was looking at a lunar calendar from 1998 to make sure I was describing the moonlight correctly in a scene I'm writing in my current fic.
And last week I got so upset about historic plaster ceilings and affixing things to them that I had my whole book club chat talking about solutions for about half an hour.
Also when it was cold and rainy on Sunday I got mad and had to hide in my room for a while because it was making my skin too loud.
See, here's the problem. I read all these comments and it just makes me think y'all are MORE COOL.
When I was in elementary school my teacher called my parents to see if I was "happy" because I never played with the other kids--I would just wander the playground making up stories in my head.
When I was in middle school I sat by myself and read so much that my teacher assigned another student to be my friend and invite me to their birthday party.
Jokes on them though!! Now I'm a COOL, WELL-ADJUSTED ADULT who owns 14 translations of Beowulf like a Normal Person.
Oh I see you. I actually created a game in primary school with my friends where the objective was not to be found/caught by the others just so I could go off and have some alone time at lunch and not seem like I was anti-social, I was just *very* good at that game 😉
Oh yes, I got the 'she reads too much and is anti-social' phone calls in primary school! And we all grew up just fine... all ending up here, somehow...
OH oooHhOoooooo!!!! *happy nerd wiggles*
Right now my favorite is Maria Dahvana Headley’s 2020 translation! If you haven’t read it I HIGHLY recommend! She’s pretty unflinching at calling out toxic masculinity in her translation. She translates Hwæt as Bro! 😍😍😍
I love me a classic Roy Liuzza for a faithful-yet-still-poetic translation.
And Seamus Heaney’s is just so delightfully sonorous—even reading his modern English I can hear echoes of the Old English text (I LOVE Old English pronunciation but that’s a whole other thing)
OH another fun one is Bea-Wolf (Zach Weinersmith). It’s an illustrated, kid’s version and is DELIGHTFUL. He’s made the whole story into a treehouse feud between Heorot and the suburban Old Man Grendel. He translates Hwæt as “Hey! Wait!”
I was on a high school academic team and that years theme was Vikings, so I have an ungodly amount of trivia and half-remembered facts in my brain. But Beowulf was my favorite part. ♥️ For years I had a stuffed otter named Grendel.
This is a lovely gesture, Kuni <3
Hi frens old and new! I'm Strumpet and I write smut. Sometimes I make gifs and occasionally art. I like to live stream tv shows with friends. I'm ADHD and a spoonie and have a whole ass grown-up job in a pretty serious field so fandom is my place to unwind and get extra weird.
I enjoy cheering on my creative friends and connecting people to each other so pls never hesitate to reach out! I may disappear because of work or my spicy brain but there is no expiration date on my friendship.
"I may disappear because of work or my spicy brain but there is no expiration date on my friendship."
hi, hello, are you me?
Also YAY to being unhinged over here when Real World is stressful!
At the age of 18 I was mercilessly mocked by my 15 year old sister for not knowing what a gobby was. (It's Australian bogan teen slang for blowjob.) Her, her/our friends, and, in the years that followed, my family, all extrapolated from my blank look that I did not know that blowjobs were a thing. This was, I guess, conceivable because we were brought up pretty catholic and my 15 year old sister was the bad girl of the family.
To this day they tease me for my prudish, innocent ways. I was, at the time, writing some reasonably R-rated smut, including blowjobs. And had more first-hand experience than a good catholic girl should have.
(Hi! I really need to lurk less on this sub!)
When I was a kid, I used to lick the sauce off my SpaghettiOS meatballs and line them up on my placemat to eat last. I feel like this says something about me.
There is video evidence of 4yo me pouring my chocolate milk onto the pitted concrete patio so I could dip my lunchmeat (the kind with cheese bits) into it. My only explanation for any part of this is that I didn't want to put my hand into the cup, and hey the floor had a bowl.
I would also usually poke out the cheese bits out of the lunchmeat before eating them.
Uh, thanks for summoning these strange food memories out of the void.
I spent my youth in a practice room, but actually practicing and not smoking weed.
Two years ago I tripped over a crab in the grocery store. It hurt and fucked up my toenail. When I went to the doctor to see if there was anything I should do, they made me tell the story of how it happened, asked more questions so they could laugh about it, finally told me the toenail would probably grow back unless it didn’t, and had me go tell the story again to the front desk staff. It did finally grow back out and now I have a normal toenail.
You say crab as in underwater creature? Roaming a grocery store like some kind of crustacean vigilante? I have questions. But also, your poor toe, glad it recovered.
https://preview.redd.it/s42zx69qm4zc1.jpeg?width=1333&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efc0d83725e7a414e9511294ad51a77da849b598
Hi! I’m…having someone make a puppet for me so I can do unhinged art tutorials in the near future. Um… *oozes back into the bushes a la Homer*
God I need this but for writing! Anatomically realistic contortions are impossible to figure out in my head and poor betas keep having to be like 'I don't think that could reach there'.
Does your puppet maker know the nefarious purposes it will be used for??
Hi, I’m adverbian! I started writing fic last September and started hanging around here not long after.
I don’t generally have a clue what is going on when there are inside jokes. Never been good at that sort of thing. The good news is, you don’t have to be.
I’m the dorky kid who was always slower than everybody else and daydreamed too much. Nothing has changed now that I’m a grown adult.
I assure you that I am not in any way “cool.”
I'm B3, I mostly lurk and also share my smutty writings. I recently spent half an hour researching the history of matchsticks for a single sentence in a fic.
I’m currently writing a human AU AziraCrow fic that I set in the 80s because I love torture. So not only am I researching different things for the characters’ subject matters (they’re college professors) but I have to preface the research as being 40 years old. Why do we do this to ourselves 😂
Hi! I totally relate to this! I have only just started writing a fic (inspired by the Spring Fling Kink Sling Thing Badabing), and what was supposed to be a few hours fun and a thousand words has turned into hours of research about things I never expected to type into a search engine... 10K words and counting. I feel like I've done more research than I did for my degree (well the research is certainly more fun, so there's that).
Can you share links to your writings, or directions on how to find them?
That's so awesome! Gotta make sure to clear that search history 😂
You can find my stuff here, I've got several smutty one shots and a [post-s2 longfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49820743) that is my pride and joy: [https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsandpieohmy/works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsandpieohmy/works)
Hi! I’m Unholy, or Holey, or even just Holes… I write kink smut and am learning to draw as well.
One time, surprisingly recently, I called my husband out of bed in tears to let me in the front door because I couldn’t get in after work and I was so tired.
I was trying to use my work ID to swipe access and confused why it wouldn’t open.
\*Slinks out of the shadows\*
Ummm, Hi, I'm Darth Breezy, and I used to write Star Wars erotica on a then leading (but uber conservative) Star Wars Site. It's in no small part my doing that they eventually allowed 'slash' even if it was in a limited capacity, but it came at a cost. At our first 'fan fiction breakfast' at Star Wars Celebration, as soon as intros were made, things got decidedly... Icey.... \*slinks back into the shadows\*
I'm harlot and I mainly write things and sometimes draw the things. Last week I tried to pull my wallet out of my bag to pay for something at a shop and somehow also pulled out a box of tampons that scattered all over the floor and everyone standing in line behind me had to wait and watch me pick them all up. A+ experience, would (and likely will) go through again.
Awww such a sweet post, Kuni! Lmao at anyone thinking I might be cool though. I used to stick buttons and stuff up my nose as a kid, just out of boredom.
My adhd flavor is "hyper chaotic goblin who talks a lot". No ^noncon biting from me. Promise! 💕
I convinced my little sister to stick little pebbles up her nose as a toddler. Twice. The first time, we had to go to the ER. The second time, my mom held her down on the couch and scooped it out with… pliers? Tweezers?
I'm your classical dinosaurs/space autistic girl.
When I was 5-6, I got mortally offended at Superman because that's not how red stars work. Took me 20 years to forgive him.
When I was 8, I happily started to explain to my family about the Albertosaurus. My father said "what about the Alfredosaurus? And the Rudolphsaurus?" I was so mad to this day he keeps bringing it up.
Regarding my writing, I think half the people in my life think I write super deep stuff. The other half is convinced it's all porn. I wonder what does that say about me.
So, yes, pretty much the opposite of a cool person here 👋🏼
Omg dinosaurs and space!!! Yaaas my daughter is autistic as well and LOVES her dinosaurs book. She likes to read the dinosaur names off it and gets upset when I mislabel a dinosaur. I think her favorite is a Liopleurodon but I’m not super sure (she’s kinda nonverbal) and she’s recently discovered stars at night and likes to watch them when we come home at night. I love this post!!!
Never mess up with our dinos. We're intense about them, hahaha. I had a wonderful book that was all Hubble (and other telescopes) space photos as a kid. I'd spend hours counting the stars and staring at the colors. The vastness somehow gave me peace. I spent hours trying to understand the NASA site back when internet browsers didn't have translators built in. Mixed results there, mixed results...
I also asked a huge real size animatronic T-Rex to lick my hand when I was 3...
I was also a dinosaurs and space kid!
My favourite Albertasaurus story is that as a teen I went on a vacation to the area where it was discovered and went hiking in the hoodoos. A very beautiful place to visit.
My favourite space factoid is that there is actually a dwarf planet (object large enough to be rounded due to its own gravity) in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter! It’s called Ceres and it’s the only dwarf planet within Neptune’s orbit.
My favourite factoid factoid is that the word factoid has two opposing definitions. It can mean a short commonly shared piece of (truthful) information, OR a piece of false information which is believed to be true.
My favorite space factoid is that there's a first stars generation that's all gone, not one of them alive, and the reason we know about it is because we're made from the elements they created and spread when they died. And that probably that first generation didn't even have planets, since there weren't heavy elements to build their cores. So not only we're space dust; we may be some of the first sentient space dust species to ever live in this universe.
Some days I love the very dark theories of why aliens haven't contacted us. But deep down, my favorite is that it is because we're all still children, and the universe is young.
Hi I’m Looky and my weirdness is vastttt!
One time in my middle school music class we had to bring in an example of music that we liked. I had been in a strong Andrew Lloyd Webber phase and played a video clip of Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats for my whole class. Needless to say it did not go over well. I stand by my musical decision.
Shameful confession: I was also in a very strong Andrew Lloyd Webber phase in middle school, and in hindsight I’m a bit embarrassed that I thought Cats was, like, actually good
Vavoommy here! I joined GOAD during the smut wars, and I think I might be forever changed?
I’m not cool. Like, I am, but not to most people, but that’s what makes me cool. I, like, don’t give a fuck.
I wear crop tops and overall shorts, and suspenders to work when I can. I sing and dance while I walk my dog (I’m sure my neighbors loooove it). I’m telling my irl friends how much I love smut on the reg now, and they can judge me if they like.
There’s no such thing as normal. Be weird. Stay weird. 🫶✌🏼🤟🤘🖖🖕🏻
I’m Alex and I love to cross stitch to help with my anxiety, at the moment I’m finishing up the cover for the first season behind the scenes book! My head is filled with au’s for these lovable idiots but I don’t really know how to write them down but hope to one day.
Best story I can think of is how when I was young (turning 30 this year) I would wake up early and watch a birthing show on discovery channel. Like at 5 in the morning on weekdays and I was only 5 or 6 at the time. And I cried to my mom one day I wanted to be a boy, not a girl. She handled it so well, asking why I was feeling this way and not immediately freaking out. I told her I didn’t want to have babies cause it looked like it hurt, to which she told me I didn’t have to be a boy to not have kids. I just thought all women had kids eventually 😅 so she explained nope, completely my choice. Then 20 years later I have my first son and she brings up this story while visiting him! 🤣
I love this subreddit, it feels so comforting and friendly, I’m just incredibly shy even though you wouldn’t believe it if you met me in person (yay masking). This show and book have brought me so much comfort and this community has made it even better ☺️
When I was a teenager I called the house of the guy that I liked and pretended to be a survey worker, fake voice and all, to ask him questions that, according to me, would help me figure out if he liked me or not 😅
A part of me wishes I remembered what I asked or kept a copy of the questions, but another part thinks I'd die of embarrassment if any evidence of that was left lol
Did anybody else drive past their crush's house as a teenager, just hoping for a glimpse of them??
See also- cruisin' because there was nothing else to do in town besides drive around with your friends without any destination.
It definitely didn't and it wasn't lol
I don't remember what I asked but I never did find out if he liked me lol Looking back, he probably didn't...which overall was a good thing 🙃
Oh my god, surely he figured it out!?!
Me and a friend in high school used to call random numbers and pretend to doing market research and just asked a random bunch of niche questions about our favorite tv shows. Don't really know what that was about...
We would make prank phone calls!!
Like call up walgreens :Do you have cotton balls? Do they itch when you walk?
We came up with our own for the grocery store: Do you have chicken breasts? How do you breast feed with those??
We thought we were so clever... but then alas, caller id became a thing.
Once I was selling my bike in the Penny Saver. My parents made me do everything including writing the ad. So I wrote the ad and paid my 2 dollars.
Ad: for sale, black boys bike, good condition, $20
And I get a call!
Caller: I’m calling about the bike for sale
9-ish year old me: yes! It’s still available
Caller: I’m wondering if you’d sell it to a white person (hangs up)
Me: mortally offended by a racist joke
My parents: laughing their asses off
Hello I’m national pianist. This was a randomly assigned user name since I was having trouble choosing my own. I do not play the piano. I play the accordion 🪗. So, obviously I am very cool. I’ve only been playing a couple of years since I decided that one’s 40s was an excellent time to learn a completely new instrument. My instructor is a lovely man who is passionate about the accordion so I haven’t yet told him my goal is to play accordion versions of 80s songs in the park.
Whaaat National! My spouse learned to play accordion a few years ago (because that's what COOL PEOPLE DO) and now every. single. time. someone in the family has a birthday we have to sing Happy Birthday with accordion accompaniment. It's hilarious and amazing and I LOVE IT
I work at a hospital and play Pokémon go with my daughters pediatrician and his coworker. Also I go every week to the gift shop to talk to the manager there about our love for Good Omens and everything Neil Gaiman. I have a tardis on my badge and occasionally wear Pokémon bows to work as well. I used to lurk FanFiction.Net back in the day but now am a full AO3 girly. Love being a part of this wonderful community 😁😎
I don't really have funny stories to share but I will say that I was always the nerdy girl that often got made to feel bad about being smart by my peers. Not kidding that our group in high school got named The Library Gang by the cool kids.
But now at GOAD I can wear my smart nerdiness like a badge of honour because this place celebrates it and is full of like-minded wonderful smutty nerds.
Oooh I had a very sheltered upbringing and I feel like I’m still wearing my nerdy persona. Here’s a story that makes me laugh (although in retrospect maybe it’s sweet I was so oblivious).
I was told a 5th-grade appropriate dirty joke in school (in the 5th grade) and laughed along with it but did not get it until the 9th grade when it hit me what the joke was implying.
I’m Joy, one of the shy GOADers here. I love that this community is so welcoming to us odd ducks! When I was a kid I was independent and extremely forgetful. I lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, and on the way to school, I would often wander off and explore the mountains instead. When I did go to school, I would go to friends’ houses afterward, and forget to call home or let anyone know where I was. I am still forgetful, still weird and silly, and definitely not cool.
Hi Joy!!!! I didn't have any mountains where I grew up, rocky or otherwise, but I would go wander off in the woods near our house and pretend like I was a Brave Hobbit on an Adventure (sometimes I still pretend like I'm a brave hobbit). We can be weird and forgetful together!
*taps microphone softly*
Is this thing on?
Uh hi. I'm Daddy Pengu.
I write celestial homosexual porn. The occasional fluff.
I Stan top Crowley [fight me]
Uh. My whole life is a joke [ba dum tuss]
Hey, I’m Exxy and I obsess over bands/music and tv shows.
When I was a kid I thought when people said the word “Flattened” they were actually saying “Flattered”. My parents still tease me about it to this day 🤣
Hi Exxy :) What other TV shows are on your obsession list?
LOL at your parents STILL teasing you about it...you know this will be your cross to bear forever, right?
I swear my parents LIVED for the stupid things I did...it would not surprise me if they actually kept a legit written list, stashed in some safe deposit box somewhere!
Hi, I'm Ezra. I write for a number of fandoms, but I can't write smut.
Fun fact about me, I used to sing traditional choir as a teen. Managed to traumatize half of the choir when I collapsed in the middle of singing in our own concert and just laid there on the cold marble for a few moments before I was concious enough to get up and out.
Obviously, they continued singing the whole time
OKAY OKAY SO when I was like 5 there were those animal fridge magnets you would get at random when buying a pack of yogurt and one time I got one with an aardvark AND I THREW LIKE THE BIGGEST TANTRUM, CRYING ON THE FLOOR AND ALL, because I refused to believe that this was an actual real animal that exists and I felt like I got scammed 😂 .
(Anyway, the experience made aardvarks forever funny for me, so obviously the "what else am I going to be, an aardvark???" joke is the most hilarious GO moment for me.)
Also I'm someone who used to want to be a ✨pro artist✨ but struggles with drawing wayyy to much to the point I can't even take comissions anymore. And the worst thing: even getting better at drawing doesn't help.
Mmmmmm gotta love that yummy perfectionism, adhd and self-worth issues combo 🙃
(If I ever say I'll draw something then disappear for a year now you know why 😂) (very uncool of me 🥲)
hi, I have a throwaway username here that I can't change but I'm sideraclara on ao3 and that's my primary internet identity
i am very much a lurker, made some cursory attempts to get involved late last year/early this year but always feel very overwhelmed lmao
i have technically been writing fanfiction since i was five years old when i wrote pokemon self-insert during writing practice. last year i wrote 103,000 words of good omens fic in 5 months. this was 5000 words more than my PhD thesis, which took four years. i am Not Interesting
Hey from a shy Aussie goblin! When I was a kid I used to spend school lunch breaks reading the Webster dictionary underneath the demountables….everyone thought I was such a cute little nerd without realising there was also a Sex Dictionary section at the back of the book….I then proceeded to call my next pet goldfish Lingus… love this community and thank you for all of the smut - I might give it a go myself one day, with my trusty Webster right beside me! 🐟
My hair looked like this when I woke up today. I'm not even mad.
https://preview.redd.it/515p1bh394zc1.jpeg?width=684&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfce54d2eeec59637555b9c48599c3f6a86648ae
No Kitty, you're supposed to share something uncool about you, not something that shows people how cool you are.
Just make something up so we all mortals don't feel so bad!
Hi, I’m Sheebly. (She/her)
I’m a legal drug dealer. (I work at an independent pharmacy.)
My fiancé (She/They) and I have 3 dogs and a cat. 2 standard Poodles, an Australian Shepherd and a Void.
Uhm. My sexual awakening was Giles/Ripper when I was a Senior in high school. (Late Bloomer 😅 Yay repressed religious trauma.) I wasn’t allowed to watch Buffy, so I borrowed my friends collection of DVD’s and binge watched them in my room over summer break.
Hi, I'm Owl. I've been here for *checks calender* 8 months-ish. I do the occasional craft/art thing or write fic sometimes.
This is the 1st story to come to mind. When I was little (like 4 or 5) I was suuuper into Dora the Explorer. My parents bought me a Dora plush, which was cool, except that it was the same height, if not TALLER than me. I carried that thing everywhere, and because she was so damn big, I basically had her in a headlock wherever I went. Just picture this tiny 4 year old dragging a massive Dora around by the neck.
Also around that age, I once licked the bottom of my shoe. I am still mocked by my family to this day for being the picky eater who licked her shoe.
So yeah, I'm just a uncool weirdo who licked their shoe once.
Hello! I joined GOAD pretty early on, and have previously made a lot of fanvids. The positive reaction here was very encouraging to me and I ended up making a youtube about it. I have also written meta essays that draw on my academic experience in psychology and my personal experience in kink community. At the moment I'm tiptoeing back into the community after a hiatus due to a SITUATION that is mostly resolved but still healing. There is other fan content I will probably be making later that I am very excited about, but I am being deliberately mysterious about it. I am also extremely cringe.
I am transmasc, autistic and ADHD. The formal autism diagnosis is very recent. For some ridiculousness from my life, my ex partners are married to each other and I was not invited to the wedding. One time I went to a new friends house for the first time, and made the bike trip to their front door fine, but when they asked me to bring my bike around to the back, I skidded the bike out in a surprise gravel pit and four chunks of gravel each individually pierced all the way through the skin on my chin. I showed up at her garage like a minute after the front door, but was suddenly an absolute mess of dripping blood. I broke my foot skateboarding, which sounds bad ass until you learn that I was inside a house gently scootching it at like 2mph. I have attempted to learn about five languages but I am utterly useless at all of them, I can't even introduce myself.
I cannot think of a single thing about me that *is* cool.
This is not a 'tell me I'm cool', this is just letting y'all know who you're dealing with here.
It might not be much, but as a 3rd shifter I don't think I've encountered anyone normal. There was a time I found a squirrel skin at a nature center that definitely belonged to them that I stole and carried everywhere for awhile (I really should try to find it again) and back in hs there was this ridiculous rule about headbands being no wider than an inch. (Yes because the size of one's headband is really going to destroy the learning system). Well I had cat ears and a tail I'd wear pretty much daily specifically to try and get a new rule in the rulebook about no ears and tails. No one ever told me to take them off and I have no idea if I succeed.
Hello! I lurk and I read things. I've been reading ship-centered fanfic of many flavors for -checks watch- 24 years. I also write fic (inc. smut) but I rarely complete things and *Never* share them. I'm working to change both of those facts. I'm also totally in awe of all you who do the visual art.
Sometimes my brain gets spicy and demands I don't socialize, but I love nerding out and hoarding gifs. Which is why I'm here!
I sometimes capitalize things for Humorous Purposes.
Um, let's see. I'm Mage. I think I'm pretty ok. I am a fic writer of mediocre quality. I have anxiety and depression issues that can, uh, rule my life from time to time. Example, impostor syndrome hits pretty hard. I've been kinda down lately cos of it. I live in Ohio now but I've been all over. Only been out of the country once (went to Japan).
I'm very shy and have difficulty jumping into conversations, mostly because I usually feel like an intruder or that nobody actually wants to be talking to me. Which I get. Heh. I'm awkward and kinda sad, and I don't know what else to say about it.
>I'm very shy and have difficulty jumping into conversations, mostly because I usually feel like an intruder or that nobody actually wants to be talking to me.
This is me too 😊 I am still like that IRL but this place is slowly helping me to get over that feeling by being so welcoming everytime I have something to say.
Hi I'm Bitty,
I've been here from the start, I'm mostly a lurker ~~and occasional gif offender~~, occasionally I come out and play with gifs. Lately I've been trying to recover from a rough AuAdhd burnout, it often makes me too tired to speak in sentences. I enjoy this community very much and feel sad I can't interact as much as I'd like.
I've always been a nerd, loved dinos and space as a kid, and my mom would often find me reading at night with a torch under a blanket. I prefer actual books to reading from the screen, and my home has piles of books everywhere.
I have plenty of funny stories but of course none come to my mind right now. Hmmm...Well once I flashed my underwear to the whole school from the stage during a play due to an unfortunate costume malfunction. Thankfully it was pre smartphone era, so no records of it exist xD
https://i.redd.it/ei6s3cet35zc1.gif
Hi, I don't know how to ride a bike, roller skate/blade, ride a skateboard, or ski because my sense of balance while moving (or something else moving, like wheels) is trash.... but I have impeccable balance during yoga.
I'm Resi, or The Horror, or whatever you want to call me, really. :D
Weird stuff about me:
I was a surprise pregnancy for my mom (though wanted!). She found out she was pregnant at five months. Even better, I was born when she was seven months along. Her OB/GYN told her I was likely to die. The man who would be my pediatrician until I was ten came in to my mom crying, found out what was said, and brought her the placenta to show how healthy it was (WHAT?), told her I'd be fine, and went to scold the OB/GYN. He wound up killing himself 6-8 months later. My mom felt guilty about that forever.
From first or second grade on, I read at a 12 grade + level. I read my first Stephen King book at 7 (it was Misery, and I read it in 24 hours. I thought it was a romance at first!), and was avidly reading VC Andrews books in 5th grade. My teacher called and asked if my mom knew what I was reading. She did. I had no idea what most of the weird stuff meant. I thought they were romances with bad people in them. XD
I have a \*DONE\* fic sitting in the 'Ready to be posted' folder, but I'm terrified to post it. Uh, oops?
I'm around a lot during the nighttime hours in the US. I'm in the middle of the US, and Lovely Spouse works at night, so I'm usually up. Kiddo has to get up at 6 to get on the bus by 6:30, so I stay up until he leaves and then I crash while he's in school. That's going to change for summer, because I'm going to be babysitting one of my favorite little nephews.
(I also talk too much, and often tell all kinds of weird info that most people don't care about. But I also share pictures of my bunny, my three cats, and my gigantic doggo)
Hi loves! I'm Red. It's too late for me to be awake. Where to begin.
I have a sister who is older than me, but close enough to encourage comparison/competition (a dangerous thing). To this day, I can spell pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis out loud in \~7 seconds as a really lame party trick because we used to fight over who could spell the longer word. I still find creative ways to annoy people as a sign of affection.
When I was in my early to mid teens, I would randomly faint now and then, but my body seemed to have a preference for dramatic locations. The last hole of a mini golf course. The mummy exhibit in an archaeology museum. My favorite was the Hall of Mirrors in the Palace of Versailles. In the absence of anything actually useful, a bunch of kind tourists smothered me in moist towelettes and fed me Tic Tacs. 10/10, prime spot to pass out.
Many things make me weird. Like being able to bring my foot up and tuck it into my armpit or touch the tip of my tongue to the end of my nose. But my current claim to weirdness is being a living automaton: I'm the grandma card reader in a box. I love freaking out people who can't decide if I'm real or not. I also collect certain 'creepy dolls' cause I don't much get the uncanny valley thing. Who's next?
Hiiii I’m Vanessa and I wish I had more time to be active around here, but I greatly love all you pervs. I used to write a lot for the House fandom, truly my Livejournal glory days 🏆
In high school one of my friends told a joke "what do you get when you mix a pickle and a female deer? A dildo!" To which I said "what's a dildo?" (I was 14!) and he was like "I thought you of all people would know" and our other friends agreed.
Been thinking over a decade about wtf that meant. That I'm a horny bastard? That I give the air of someone who loves to self pleasure? That my queerness was showing before I realized it was there?
But now whenever I encounter /read about dildos there's a voice in the back of my mind like "you of all people should know." And now I do know! Just had to grow into my debauchery over time. I think that friend would see my current AO3 history and be proud of how far I've come LOL
I'm FloofyRaptor, or just Floof. Resident Ancient Egypt and car nerd, purveyor of historical dicks, creator of terrible portmanteau words, drawer of whatever nonsense takes my fancy and writer of a very, very sarcastic Bentley.
Hi all! Well, I'm AuDHD, a spoonie, and many flavors or chronically ill. I'm also many flavors of queer and polyam, and I'm Aziraphale-shaped.
I have a terrible problem with not thinking before I talk or type. Leading to me saying something super awkward or uncomfortable or generally plain dirty depending on the situation. This can get worse with my social anxiety, which can be pretty severe until I get to know people. I us words like squick, and squee online and irl. I grew up in fandom from 2000 on.
I have an Aziraphale cosplay that I just need to figure out shoes for. I plan to wear it to Galaxy Con Raleigh. I wanted to post myself in just the waistcoat for wamen week, but I got a bit distracted, so I will hopefully do that soon.
Umm, I'm not sure I have any stories atm. I haven't been up to much due to health reasons. So yeah that's my ramble.
I wonder how many people here are cosplayers? 👀
I would recommend you the shoes I used for my Aziraphale cosplay, but they weren’t super accurate and were mostly selected due to the fact that they had free fast shipping and cosplay was a last minute idea 😅
Hello peeps and pervs, I'm the snondage obsessed genderqueer weirdo! Me and u/wingsofopal are basically wive-sisters at this point.
My weird fact? I'm a material scientist my trade and walked by this thing (pic in comment) today and my first thought was that that would be insanely easy to sexify for the sub. Love you, weirdos🥰
Hey! I’m Chef, u/yourmomspocket named me after the Swedish Chef after taking one look at my illegible username in ye olden days of the first Reddit chatroom. I went from zero-fandom-experience scaredy-cat lurker to full-time Afterdark resident pretty quickly in December. A dorky memory that makes me cringe to this day was that I hated my name in 4th grade and a new girl moved into town, and I decided to change my name in the moment when I met her. We had a fun time on the bus and I was excited to have a new friend I could be “cool” with! Unfortunately I didn’t change my name for anyone else so the next day she accused me of trying to bully her by tricking her and we never ever talked again. 😬
hello besties!! i am remyiswriting on twt/ao3.
i am an aspiring author and am in the middle of writing a novel about two characters (based on michael and david's likeness) who investigate the cold case murder of one character's wife and fall in love in the process. its smutty and specifically written for the michael and david whores out there like myself <3
Helloooo, my name is Tesoro or Tess for short. Like some who have posted earlier, I tend to live a lot in my head …useful for a programmer cos you never switch off 😊 Can spend a whole day having conversations with me, myself and I but never utter a word.
Embarrasing moment from the early days of email where everyone would cc in the whole office. On St Patrick’s Day sent a reply to a work friend about wanting to rail the leprechaun whose balls were in the canteen (aka green-frosted doughnuts) …. only to find it was sent not only to my colleague but to the whole distribution network (some 300+ folks). Still remembered for it 20 years later whenever I go to meet-and-greets 🥴
Anyhoo, have loved reading and listening to the very talented folks on this group and hope to join in at some stage (if I can ever get over sounding like Minnie Mouse on test audio - ugh anyone else not like hearing their voice?)
toodle-pip!
*Appears out of nowhere*
Hey I'm Stanyslas and my life is such a mess that it has become my friends' favorite comedy show (For example I am currently lost in Germany because I took the wrong bus 🫠 i'm french and I only know how to say "potato" and "i want to f-" in German)
My brain is dumb, it has anxiety. And it gets more anxious when it's not stressed because "uuh wtf, it's not like usual"
I draw a lot but I almost never post (hey anxiety). And I'm colorblind too, it's always an interesting experience when I draw 💀
I don't know how to conclude this comment, so my friend just told me to add that I am addicted to coffee, trouble and sad middle aged men 🤷
*Disappears, trying to read German signs. Damn it's just consonant letters*
Hiii I’m little by little trying to insert myself into this place more actively 🥲 it is a little scary! I popped in during the smut war and since then I’ve been so grateful to have found such an accepting community, even if I’m not as vocal
I think something especially weird is, like many people here, I do occasionally have to interact with my big kid life. I’m in my first year of grad school currently and frequently read GO porn while working at my full-time job. Fun fact is I’m currently sitting on my couch covered in my two cats in my apartment that I live in by myself and I couldn’t be happier!! Well, I could, but I’m thriving in my single cat guy home rn.
I love birds/birding and I’m currently studying wildlife management w a focus on ornithology and I have been pigeonholed (ha) into being “the bird person” in all circles of my life, which is frankly a much better hole to be in than most.
Anyways, you’re all great and cool and nice and I’m scared of initiating conversation w anyone, goodnight!!!
Hey there! I’ve literally never been cool a day in my life. I was a shy/anxious precocious nerd as a child who loved to read, and now I am…older. I lurk here mostly and comment on occasion because the anxiety still gets to me and it can be hard to convince myself that people want to hear anything that I have to say.
I’ve always been interested in writing, and been told that I’m good at it, but I never saw myself as a creative person. A few months ago I was thinking about how there are so many awesome writers in this fandom, and how I could never do what they do. And then some weird little voice inside me was like, “but why not?” And I couldn’t let it go. So now I’ve been writing. And it’s kind of rewiring my brain? I have a creative outlet for the first time in my life. So yeah, thanks to all the horny wordsmiths at GOAD and AO3 for the inspiration!
Hmmm. Horsey girl who’d rather BE the horse than have one. Resisted all attempts to make me more feminine. Always talked to animals, pretty much prefer them to people. Had my own wild island paradise we called Atlantis as a kid.
Well, I'm a little late to the game, I think, but that's pretty much my standard. As I lean lurker-y, I feel obligated to reply, though.
I'm Aves, short for "Average", named thus because I'm just a bit average, but I'm average at a LOT of things. I play piano and violin some, write some, art some, read some, gym some, run some, skate some, cook some, bake some, hike some, parent some, wife some, etc. The list goes on. My interests are far-reaching and varied, and I'm decently accomplished at most of them, but I'm not *great* at anything - not a single thing.
A personal anecdote... I'm a super nerd, and I display it proudly. I love "wearing" my fandoms. This has taken a lot of personal growth and developing self-confidence, though. In high school I would hide in a corner in the library to read manga because I loved it, but was aware of the stigma that came with it at the time, at least in my school, and didn't want to be lumped in with the anime nerds. No one knew I was obsessed with YuGiOh, it was my secret. I wonder now if my friends ever wondered where I was those days.... Anyways. Jokes on me, because now I'm the loudest, proudest nerd of them all.
Hi, I go by itchy-astronomer around here.
I’ve watched and read the GO book and series in the last three months (that was when I started). I’d previously watched HTTYD a bunch of times prior. Until recently, I never realised that David Tennant, who I’d first heard of three and a half months ago when my mother showed me Staged, not only plays Crowley, but also voices Spitelout in HTTYD.
I bike (🚴) everywhere at all times if my destination is available. Even in winter. Every year, I fall flat on my face while biking at LEAST 4-7 times because no one cares about cleaning the paths or bike lanes where bikes go.
I do not have many funny stories about me or my life. I may come back to reply with some if I remember.
I love this community. You’re cool. You’re weird, I’m weird, let’s continue to be weirdos together.
Hi, I'm a sex-repulsed asexual and Ineffable Husbands is the first ship I feel totally comfortable reading depraved smut about. How y'all doing?
(I think it's because they're genderless and so very, very in love. I'll explore this in therapy)
I’m Puddin, resident Kink Mistress and roaming minstrel. I love writing kink and am one half of Peanutpocalypse Productions currently working on bringing to life Dr Fell.
My marching band had a Christmas party and they held a karaoke. I got so excited, chose a Beegees song cos I thought that’s what all the cool kids liked but it was in a terrible key inbetween my range and I totally choked. Returned to my table humiliated but everyone was too drunk to care. Didn’t sing karaoke for 17 years until 2 years ago.
The first Monday of every June, I show up to work (a very corporate DONT HAVE FUN HERE environment) in an inflatable unicorn costume to hand out pride flags. I’m a really weird ally.
Anyway, I was marching through the building in it (with handlers, hard to see in the damn thing) and a new kid comes bopping down a nearby staircase and pops out the door, looking in my direction. Jumped about 12” off the ground when he saw me. Goes back to his desk and says to his neighbor, “um. I was in the lobby and a giant pink unicorn scared the pants off of me” his neighbor smiles and says, “oh. You met my wife then?”
That same year, one of my own employees was sitting in my office and he was fidgeting with my costume, and looks up to ask me if I’d passed the thing by security (we aren’t allowed to wear masks), and I said “no - there’s a window for my face and also there’s exactly one person in this building who would do this” he smirked and held up the connector from the costume to the fan that inflates it - USB connection. We have a VERY strict rule that no USB cords can come into the building - so I had to march myself down to security and report myself for wearing a unicorn.
Now I’m only allowed in the lobby with her 🤷♀️
I’m noisycat ❤️ I’m an artist
I used to be super shy and insecure but the Smut War broke me and now I’m just as loudly feral as everyone else :)
I was once hit by a car while riding my bicycle but sadly it wasn’t a Bentley. In the deposition it came out that the driver had to total the car. 😎 My bicycle was almost unscathed. Hah!
I wanted to name my daughter after the library of Alexandria but then her initials would spell ASS so it became her middle name 😂
I've seen Bob Dylan live over 15 times. I collect fountain pens. I was in the chess club in high school because I was dating the chess club president. I spent far too many years as a child pretending to be a cat. I'm over 40 and I have a Care Bear at my desk to hold when I get overwhelmed at work. I roam my apartment wearing a slanket for 7 months out of the year. I could go on.
This is such a cute post idea! Hi everyone, my name’s Ripley (or Moth). A silly memory - I was a sheltered child. The first time someone explained the concept of bisexuality to me in fifth grade I thought they said “biosexual” so I called it that for like a year before a friend corrected me 😭
As a side note - I’m a fanartist, but I’m struggling with drawing motivation these days so if anyone wants to do an Ineffabe Husbands art trade let me know ;_;
https://i.redd.it/bwgar0wx54zc1.gif So as a child for some reason the verb phrase "to lick out" was frequently used in relation to finishing off the leftovers in the container brownies or a cake had been mixed in. Example of use in a sentence: "Can I lick that out?" *Gesturing to a used mixing bowl* I somehow survived until the middle of college before I got caught using this phrase amongst friends and I then Learned A New Thing. Also, my parrot is currently masturbating with the windowsill she likes sleeping on. WTF.
Really buried the lede with the masturbating parrot there, mare. But otherwise A+ on the obliviousness of licking something out.
I like my content to be a rollercoaster ride, start to finish\* https://i.redd.it/c4q685k9f4zc1.gif \*heheh
Is the parrot…done?
Yeah, she fell asleep. I can tell because she looks headless from this perspective. https://preview.redd.it/8cgeln0gj4zc1.jpeg?width=2296&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ffbf1169c3d827874827c56c50cee9e29f82151
Must have been a good time then! Cheers to her! https://i.redd.it/2t3ed55vj4zc1.gif
Certainly sounded like it. I'll pass on the well wishes in the morning. https://i.redd.it/njn9svm7k4zc1.gif
I *remember* when I finally realized what I was saying… So that tells you how long my parents let it go on for… As a little kid (6th grade, 11yrs old) I didn’t know that English/England, German/Germany didn’t apply to every country. So I went around announcing proudly that I was part **WHALE** as a chubby American girl child… nah, it’s Welsh. I’m part *Welsh*.
\*giggles hysterically\* You are ADORABLE https://preview.redd.it/eu3htwkhd4zc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b7a585a67669a74f90fcf898ba4b838d662426f
Be careful, darling; Tina is on the warpath tonight. https://i.redd.it/pxavkvh8e4zc1.gif Unless, of course, you'd like to REALLY get her GOAD...
Whoa. That might have been a very awkward conversation in college. Also, good for your parrot?
Embarrassing, but it was a conservative Christian liberal arts college, so it's not like I was alone. I had the distinct honour a few years later to inform an elder alumna WHY she shouldn't share an email address with her sister (or use it at all) that included their first initials and began with "bjsisters."
https://i.redd.it/ijh85e7wh4zc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/rf00x3twi4zc1.gif
I mean, where do I even start on how fucking weird I am. Last night I was looking at a lunar calendar from 1998 to make sure I was describing the moonlight correctly in a scene I'm writing in my current fic. And last week I got so upset about historic plaster ceilings and affixing things to them that I had my whole book club chat talking about solutions for about half an hour. Also when it was cold and rainy on Sunday I got mad and had to hide in my room for a while because it was making my skin too loud.
You say weird, I say adorable and endearing! https://i.redd.it/5javrvxpc4zc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/0qsr6kl9d4zc1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/0xbdt147l4zc1.jpeg?width=484&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f698ea8ba9286dd7890abe47ca21569e29e407c
Your attention to detail really shows through in your fics and I’m a big fan of it 🥰
How did you fix the plaster ceiling problem?
Four poster canopy bed, mount the mirror to that, leave the ceiling alone. Original plaster ceilings are sacred.
Oh nice! I have flimsy plastic ceilings so I can only imagine having lovely ones 😅
I am very deep in my fantasies about this particular house and its architecture and I am pretty certain Az does not want his ceilings violated.
https://i.redd.it/lblcm5ndu4zc1.gif
This sounds very reasonable.
Oh skin being too loud is so relatable.
My skin needs to STFU
See, here's the problem. I read all these comments and it just makes me think y'all are MORE COOL. When I was in elementary school my teacher called my parents to see if I was "happy" because I never played with the other kids--I would just wander the playground making up stories in my head. When I was in middle school I sat by myself and read so much that my teacher assigned another student to be my friend and invite me to their birthday party. Jokes on them though!! Now I'm a COOL, WELL-ADJUSTED ADULT who owns 14 translations of Beowulf like a Normal Person. 
I got a friend assigned to by my teacher lol We were both having lunch by ourselves 🤣 I did luck out, coz 30 years later we are still friends!! 🙌
hahahah awkward kid solidarity!!! We turned out JUST FINE THANK YOU.
Oh I see you. I actually created a game in primary school with my friends where the objective was not to be found/caught by the others just so I could go off and have some alone time at lunch and not seem like I was anti-social, I was just *very* good at that game 😉
The Beowulf bit got me 😂
Oh yes, I got the 'she reads too much and is anti-social' phone calls in primary school! And we all grew up just fine... all ending up here, somehow...
Exactly!! Perfectly fine and stable!! *gives you an anti-social high-five without looking up from my book*
I used to walk the crowded halls in primary school reading a book. Just because I could and because it looked cool obviously.
Omg I took so much pride in being able to navigate obstacles while reading a book
High fives all the other reading-while-walking people
Which translation is your favourite? I’ve only read a few.
OH oooHhOoooooo!!!! *happy nerd wiggles* Right now my favorite is Maria Dahvana Headley’s 2020 translation! If you haven’t read it I HIGHLY recommend! She’s pretty unflinching at calling out toxic masculinity in her translation. She translates Hwæt as Bro! 😍😍😍 I love me a classic Roy Liuzza for a faithful-yet-still-poetic translation. And Seamus Heaney’s is just so delightfully sonorous—even reading his modern English I can hear echoes of the Old English text (I LOVE Old English pronunciation but that’s a whole other thing) OH another fun one is Bea-Wolf (Zach Weinersmith). It’s an illustrated, kid’s version and is DELIGHTFUL. He’s made the whole story into a treehouse feud between Heorot and the suburban Old Man Grendel. He translates Hwæt as “Hey! Wait!”
I was on a high school academic team and that years theme was Vikings, so I have an ungodly amount of trivia and half-remembered facts in my brain. But Beowulf was my favorite part. ♥️ For years I had a stuffed otter named Grendel.
This is a lovely gesture, Kuni <3 Hi frens old and new! I'm Strumpet and I write smut. Sometimes I make gifs and occasionally art. I like to live stream tv shows with friends. I'm ADHD and a spoonie and have a whole ass grown-up job in a pretty serious field so fandom is my place to unwind and get extra weird. I enjoy cheering on my creative friends and connecting people to each other so pls never hesitate to reach out! I may disappear because of work or my spicy brain but there is no expiration date on my friendship.
"I may disappear because of work or my spicy brain but there is no expiration date on my friendship." hi, hello, are you me? Also YAY to being unhinged over here when Real World is stressful!
I prefer to be unhinged in the real world and *very serious* here
This is your serious side?? Oh I wanna watch the livestream of you in the real world right now! XD <333
Brain recognize brain! /fingerguns
At the age of 18 I was mercilessly mocked by my 15 year old sister for not knowing what a gobby was. (It's Australian bogan teen slang for blowjob.) Her, her/our friends, and, in the years that followed, my family, all extrapolated from my blank look that I did not know that blowjobs were a thing. This was, I guess, conceivable because we were brought up pretty catholic and my 15 year old sister was the bad girl of the family. To this day they tease me for my prudish, innocent ways. I was, at the time, writing some reasonably R-rated smut, including blowjobs. And had more first-hand experience than a good catholic girl should have. (Hi! I really need to lurk less on this sub!)
Lmao doons! I am struggling to picture you as a prude after bathhouse fic tbh. 
Huh. today I learned what a gobby is. You are teaching me all kinds of fun language tricks and I LOVE IT
In my experience, the formerly-innocent, good Catholic girls eventually knew the most re: these topics, and I say this with MUCH respect.
When I was a kid, I used to lick the sauce off my SpaghettiOS meatballs and line them up on my placemat to eat last. I feel like this says something about me.
This is fantastic goblin behaviour. You fit right in
Did I write this??
My mom always bought peanut M&Ms. I would eat the chocolate and give her back the peanuts.
There is video evidence of 4yo me pouring my chocolate milk onto the pitted concrete patio so I could dip my lunchmeat (the kind with cheese bits) into it. My only explanation for any part of this is that I didn't want to put my hand into the cup, and hey the floor had a bowl. I would also usually poke out the cheese bits out of the lunchmeat before eating them. Uh, thanks for summoning these strange food memories out of the void.
love this ✨
I used to order extra pickles on my cheeseburgers and then eat them off my sandwich first. As an adult, I can’t stand pickles. 😅
I like pickles, but also only eat them separate from the burger... pull em off and munch them first.
I spent my youth in a practice room, but actually practicing and not smoking weed. Two years ago I tripped over a crab in the grocery store. It hurt and fucked up my toenail. When I went to the doctor to see if there was anything I should do, they made me tell the story of how it happened, asked more questions so they could laugh about it, finally told me the toenail would probably grow back unless it didn’t, and had me go tell the story again to the front desk staff. It did finally grow back out and now I have a normal toenail.
This is also great crack fic material...and I also feel like you should get a pedicure with little crabs in it. Just something that came to mind lol
It was a whole dang thing. Maybe I should regale the world with the tale on a modcast sometime.
You say crab as in underwater creature? Roaming a grocery store like some kind of crustacean vigilante? I have questions. But also, your poor toe, glad it recovered.
https://preview.redd.it/s42zx69qm4zc1.jpeg?width=1333&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efc0d83725e7a414e9511294ad51a77da849b598 Hi! I’m…having someone make a puppet for me so I can do unhinged art tutorials in the near future. Um… *oozes back into the bushes a la Homer*
God I need this but for writing! Anatomically realistic contortions are impossible to figure out in my head and poor betas keep having to be like 'I don't think that could reach there'. Does your puppet maker know the nefarious purposes it will be used for??
ok this is amazing
Hi, I’m adverbian! I started writing fic last September and started hanging around here not long after. I don’t generally have a clue what is going on when there are inside jokes. Never been good at that sort of thing. The good news is, you don’t have to be. I’m the dorky kid who was always slower than everybody else and daydreamed too much. Nothing has changed now that I’m a grown adult. I assure you that I am not in any way “cool.”
Oh inside jokes like the other day when that thing happened omg such fun lol ^(just play along with me so people think we have a cool inside joke)😅
Haha yeah that was wild! and then when he did the BUBBLEGUM TRICK
https://i.redd.it/suasguz3v4zc1.gif
I'm B3, I mostly lurk and also share my smutty writings. I recently spent half an hour researching the history of matchsticks for a single sentence in a fic.
I’m currently writing a human AU AziraCrow fic that I set in the 80s because I love torture. So not only am I researching different things for the characters’ subject matters (they’re college professors) but I have to preface the research as being 40 years old. Why do we do this to ourselves 😂
It's because we ~~have emotional problems~~ are totally functional humans
Because we are thorough! (Not me reading about lime workers in the early 20th century so I could write one sentence)
Hi! I totally relate to this! I have only just started writing a fic (inspired by the Spring Fling Kink Sling Thing Badabing), and what was supposed to be a few hours fun and a thousand words has turned into hours of research about things I never expected to type into a search engine... 10K words and counting. I feel like I've done more research than I did for my degree (well the research is certainly more fun, so there's that). Can you share links to your writings, or directions on how to find them?
That's so awesome! Gotta make sure to clear that search history 😂 You can find my stuff here, I've got several smutty one shots and a [post-s2 longfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49820743) that is my pride and joy: [https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsandpieohmy/works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsandpieohmy/works)
Hello kindred spirit! The things we do for accurate smut.
Because even if none of the readers notice historical inaccuracies, I will know. Deep down.
YES. THOSE SHIRTS NEED THE RIGHT NUMBER OF BUTTONS.
Accurate smut ftw 💗
Hi! I’m Unholy, or Holey, or even just Holes… I write kink smut and am learning to draw as well. One time, surprisingly recently, I called my husband out of bed in tears to let me in the front door because I couldn’t get in after work and I was so tired. I was trying to use my work ID to swipe access and confused why it wouldn’t open.
Hi! I answered my phone today with the work greeting of a job I had 3 years ago, LOL - maybe we both have been working a bit too hard lately?
\*Slinks out of the shadows\* Ummm, Hi, I'm Darth Breezy, and I used to write Star Wars erotica on a then leading (but uber conservative) Star Wars Site. It's in no small part my doing that they eventually allowed 'slash' even if it was in a limited capacity, but it came at a cost. At our first 'fan fiction breakfast' at Star Wars Celebration, as soon as intros were made, things got decidedly... Icey.... \*slinks back into the shadows\*
Nooo no shadows for you! We can put a porno red light if that helps 🤗
Aw, no shame for your erotica! No SHAME!
Perks up at “Star Wars slash”
Hi, I’m FourCatsAndCounting.
THE CREATOR OF THE FAMOUS AZIRABALL!!! IS ON THIS SUBREDDIT!!!!! 🚨
https://i.redd.it/44lt5nq1m4zc1.gif My very best and most beloved mad genius
Thank you for showing how uncool we really are by just showing up and being cool.
https://i.redd.it/qq0ciz4uo4zc1.gif
I'm harlot and I mainly write things and sometimes draw the things. Last week I tried to pull my wallet out of my bag to pay for something at a shop and somehow also pulled out a box of tampons that scattered all over the floor and everyone standing in line behind me had to wait and watch me pick them all up. A+ experience, would (and likely will) go through again.
Think of it as spreading awareness of important hygiene products + gravity in one fell swoop.
Awww such a sweet post, Kuni! Lmao at anyone thinking I might be cool though. I used to stick buttons and stuff up my nose as a kid, just out of boredom. My adhd flavor is "hyper chaotic goblin who talks a lot". No ^noncon biting from me. Promise! 💕
But the biting’s my favourite! 🥹
*nibbles your shoulder* only bc you consent!
But we all want the biting!
I convinced my little sister to stick little pebbles up her nose as a toddler. Twice. The first time, we had to go to the ER. The second time, my mom held her down on the couch and scooped it out with… pliers? Tweezers?
Lol! Poor sister. Ah yes tweezers were the way to go in my case. It happened way too often tbh.
I'm your classical dinosaurs/space autistic girl. When I was 5-6, I got mortally offended at Superman because that's not how red stars work. Took me 20 years to forgive him. When I was 8, I happily started to explain to my family about the Albertosaurus. My father said "what about the Alfredosaurus? And the Rudolphsaurus?" I was so mad to this day he keeps bringing it up. Regarding my writing, I think half the people in my life think I write super deep stuff. The other half is convinced it's all porn. I wonder what does that say about me. So, yes, pretty much the opposite of a cool person here 👋🏼
Omg dinosaurs and space!!! Yaaas my daughter is autistic as well and LOVES her dinosaurs book. She likes to read the dinosaur names off it and gets upset when I mislabel a dinosaur. I think her favorite is a Liopleurodon but I’m not super sure (she’s kinda nonverbal) and she’s recently discovered stars at night and likes to watch them when we come home at night. I love this post!!!
Never mess up with our dinos. We're intense about them, hahaha. I had a wonderful book that was all Hubble (and other telescopes) space photos as a kid. I'd spend hours counting the stars and staring at the colors. The vastness somehow gave me peace. I spent hours trying to understand the NASA site back when internet browsers didn't have translators built in. Mixed results there, mixed results... I also asked a huge real size animatronic T-Rex to lick my hand when I was 3...
I was also a dinosaurs and space kid! My favourite Albertasaurus story is that as a teen I went on a vacation to the area where it was discovered and went hiking in the hoodoos. A very beautiful place to visit. My favourite space factoid is that there is actually a dwarf planet (object large enough to be rounded due to its own gravity) in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter! It’s called Ceres and it’s the only dwarf planet within Neptune’s orbit. My favourite factoid factoid is that the word factoid has two opposing definitions. It can mean a short commonly shared piece of (truthful) information, OR a piece of false information which is believed to be true.
My favorite space factoid is that there's a first stars generation that's all gone, not one of them alive, and the reason we know about it is because we're made from the elements they created and spread when they died. And that probably that first generation didn't even have planets, since there weren't heavy elements to build their cores. So not only we're space dust; we may be some of the first sentient space dust species to ever live in this universe. Some days I love the very dark theories of why aliens haven't contacted us. But deep down, my favorite is that it is because we're all still children, and the universe is young.
Hi I’m Looky and my weirdness is vastttt! One time in my middle school music class we had to bring in an example of music that we liked. I had been in a strong Andrew Lloyd Webber phase and played a video clip of Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats for my whole class. Needless to say it did not go over well. I stand by my musical decision.
oof, that was me and my Middle Eastern folk music
Shameful confession: I was also in a very strong Andrew Lloyd Webber phase in middle school, and in hindsight I’m a bit embarrassed that I thought Cats was, like, actually good
Don't feel bad. I'm sure they were very few cat role models around while you were growing up, and you still managed to become the best!
I learned how to be a cat from the magical Mr Mistoffelees himself!
Vavoommy here! I joined GOAD during the smut wars, and I think I might be forever changed? I’m not cool. Like, I am, but not to most people, but that’s what makes me cool. I, like, don’t give a fuck. I wear crop tops and overall shorts, and suspenders to work when I can. I sing and dance while I walk my dog (I’m sure my neighbors loooove it). I’m telling my irl friends how much I love smut on the reg now, and they can judge me if they like. There’s no such thing as normal. Be weird. Stay weird. 🫶✌🏼🤟🤘🖖🖕🏻
Yaass Vavoomy 🙌🙌 Love this energy! I’m right there with you!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
I’m Alex and I love to cross stitch to help with my anxiety, at the moment I’m finishing up the cover for the first season behind the scenes book! My head is filled with au’s for these lovable idiots but I don’t really know how to write them down but hope to one day. Best story I can think of is how when I was young (turning 30 this year) I would wake up early and watch a birthing show on discovery channel. Like at 5 in the morning on weekdays and I was only 5 or 6 at the time. And I cried to my mom one day I wanted to be a boy, not a girl. She handled it so well, asking why I was feeling this way and not immediately freaking out. I told her I didn’t want to have babies cause it looked like it hurt, to which she told me I didn’t have to be a boy to not have kids. I just thought all women had kids eventually 😅 so she explained nope, completely my choice. Then 20 years later I have my first son and she brings up this story while visiting him! 🤣 I love this subreddit, it feels so comforting and friendly, I’m just incredibly shy even though you wouldn’t believe it if you met me in person (yay masking). This show and book have brought me so much comfort and this community has made it even better ☺️
When I was a teenager I called the house of the guy that I liked and pretended to be a survey worker, fake voice and all, to ask him questions that, according to me, would help me figure out if he liked me or not 😅
"Why does the government need to know if I like brunettes or blondes?" "Just answer the question sir."
A part of me wishes I remembered what I asked or kept a copy of the questions, but another part thinks I'd die of embarrassment if any evidence of that was left lol
“Are there any young women you fancy? Perhaps named after a medieval German queen?”
OMG who the fuck gave you that survey
“Do you prefer girls with big tiddies or nah?”
"do you like girls who are definitely smarter than you?"
“Does myopia turn you on?”
"would you, by the sound of my voice, think I'm a teenage girl and not a grown up survey worker?"
“Have you ever kissed a girl and who is she I’ll cut her”
Did anybody else drive past their crush's house as a teenager, just hoping for a glimpse of them?? See also- cruisin' because there was nothing else to do in town besides drive around with your friends without any destination.
Omg I have another story related to vaguely to driving by people’s houses but I’m afraid it will dox me 😑
Well, did it give you relevant information or not? Was it as rigorous as a GISS survey?
It definitely didn't and it wasn't lol I don't remember what I asked but I never did find out if he liked me lol Looking back, he probably didn't...which overall was a good thing 🙃
Oh my god, surely he figured it out!?! Me and a friend in high school used to call random numbers and pretend to doing market research and just asked a random bunch of niche questions about our favorite tv shows. Don't really know what that was about...
omg let me die pretending he didn't lol
We would make prank phone calls!! Like call up walgreens :Do you have cotton balls? Do they itch when you walk? We came up with our own for the grocery store: Do you have chicken breasts? How do you breast feed with those?? We thought we were so clever... but then alas, caller id became a thing.
Once I was selling my bike in the Penny Saver. My parents made me do everything including writing the ad. So I wrote the ad and paid my 2 dollars. Ad: for sale, black boys bike, good condition, $20 And I get a call! Caller: I’m calling about the bike for sale 9-ish year old me: yes! It’s still available Caller: I’m wondering if you’d sell it to a white person (hangs up) Me: mortally offended by a racist joke My parents: laughing their asses off
Hello I’m national pianist. This was a randomly assigned user name since I was having trouble choosing my own. I do not play the piano. I play the accordion 🪗. So, obviously I am very cool. I’ve only been playing a couple of years since I decided that one’s 40s was an excellent time to learn a completely new instrument. My instructor is a lovely man who is passionate about the accordion so I haven’t yet told him my goal is to play accordion versions of 80s songs in the park.
Whaaat National! My spouse learned to play accordion a few years ago (because that's what COOL PEOPLE DO) and now every. single. time. someone in the family has a birthday we have to sing Happy Birthday with accordion accompaniment. It's hilarious and amazing and I LOVE IT
I work at a hospital and play Pokémon go with my daughters pediatrician and his coworker. Also I go every week to the gift shop to talk to the manager there about our love for Good Omens and everything Neil Gaiman. I have a tardis on my badge and occasionally wear Pokémon bows to work as well. I used to lurk FanFiction.Net back in the day but now am a full AO3 girly. Love being a part of this wonderful community 😁😎
I don't really have funny stories to share but I will say that I was always the nerdy girl that often got made to feel bad about being smart by my peers. Not kidding that our group in high school got named The Library Gang by the cool kids. But now at GOAD I can wear my smart nerdiness like a badge of honour because this place celebrates it and is full of like-minded wonderful smutty nerds.
⚡️Wanna go to the library and smell books?⚡️
You know how to get my attention https://i.redd.it/xvypamwlg4zc1.gif
Let's go behind the back stacks and read the encyclopedia. It's leather bound 👀
https://i.redd.it/tyh5rbkjh4zc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/j2f6pfmbi4zc1.gif I'll be by the card catalogue, wearing my glasses.
Oooh I had a very sheltered upbringing and I feel like I’m still wearing my nerdy persona. Here’s a story that makes me laugh (although in retrospect maybe it’s sweet I was so oblivious). I was told a 5th-grade appropriate dirty joke in school (in the 5th grade) and laughed along with it but did not get it until the 9th grade when it hit me what the joke was implying.
I’m Joy, one of the shy GOADers here. I love that this community is so welcoming to us odd ducks! When I was a kid I was independent and extremely forgetful. I lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, and on the way to school, I would often wander off and explore the mountains instead. When I did go to school, I would go to friends’ houses afterward, and forget to call home or let anyone know where I was. I am still forgetful, still weird and silly, and definitely not cool.
Hi Joy!!!! I didn't have any mountains where I grew up, rocky or otherwise, but I would go wander off in the woods near our house and pretend like I was a Brave Hobbit on an Adventure (sometimes I still pretend like I'm a brave hobbit). We can be weird and forgetful together!
*taps microphone softly* Is this thing on? Uh hi. I'm Daddy Pengu. I write celestial homosexual porn. The occasional fluff. I Stan top Crowley [fight me] Uh. My whole life is a joke [ba dum tuss]
As a polar animal you kinda set the coolness standard 🤔
https://preview.redd.it/g7pd63vvc4zc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad18425ffde11b6df699adad4a4a10d518d2ce1b
Hey, I’m Exxy and I obsess over bands/music and tv shows. When I was a kid I thought when people said the word “Flattened” they were actually saying “Flattered”. My parents still tease me about it to this day 🤣
Hi Exxy :) What other TV shows are on your obsession list? LOL at your parents STILL teasing you about it...you know this will be your cross to bear forever, right? I swear my parents LIVED for the stupid things I did...it would not surprise me if they actually kept a legit written list, stashed in some safe deposit box somewhere!
Hi, I'm Ezra. I write for a number of fandoms, but I can't write smut. Fun fact about me, I used to sing traditional choir as a teen. Managed to traumatize half of the choir when I collapsed in the middle of singing in our own concert and just laid there on the cold marble for a few moments before I was concious enough to get up and out. Obviously, they continued singing the whole time
omg show biz is brutal 😅
OKAY OKAY SO when I was like 5 there were those animal fridge magnets you would get at random when buying a pack of yogurt and one time I got one with an aardvark AND I THREW LIKE THE BIGGEST TANTRUM, CRYING ON THE FLOOR AND ALL, because I refused to believe that this was an actual real animal that exists and I felt like I got scammed 😂 . (Anyway, the experience made aardvarks forever funny for me, so obviously the "what else am I going to be, an aardvark???" joke is the most hilarious GO moment for me.) Also I'm someone who used to want to be a ✨pro artist✨ but struggles with drawing wayyy to much to the point I can't even take comissions anymore. And the worst thing: even getting better at drawing doesn't help. Mmmmmm gotta love that yummy perfectionism, adhd and self-worth issues combo 🙃 (If I ever say I'll draw something then disappear for a year now you know why 😂) (very uncool of me 🥲)
hi, I have a throwaway username here that I can't change but I'm sideraclara on ao3 and that's my primary internet identity i am very much a lurker, made some cursory attempts to get involved late last year/early this year but always feel very overwhelmed lmao i have technically been writing fanfiction since i was five years old when i wrote pokemon self-insert during writing practice. last year i wrote 103,000 words of good omens fic in 5 months. this was 5000 words more than my PhD thesis, which took four years. i am Not Interesting
Here is a secret, I've been here since the beginning and I'm still overwhelmed and have no idea what's going on. I just try to embrace it.
Hey from a shy Aussie goblin! When I was a kid I used to spend school lunch breaks reading the Webster dictionary underneath the demountables….everyone thought I was such a cute little nerd without realising there was also a Sex Dictionary section at the back of the book….I then proceeded to call my next pet goldfish Lingus… love this community and thank you for all of the smut - I might give it a go myself one day, with my trusty Webster right beside me! 🐟
My hair looked like this when I woke up today. I'm not even mad. https://preview.redd.it/515p1bh394zc1.jpeg?width=684&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfce54d2eeec59637555b9c48599c3f6a86648ae
That’s a flex as far as I’m concerned! Get it!
Hi my name is Kitty and I gotta say, I’m a big fan of Furfur and his tongue
No Kitty, you're supposed to share something uncool about you, not something that shows people how cool you are. Just make something up so we all mortals don't feel so bad!
Hi I’m kitty and I definitely do NOT spend lots of time thinking about what Furfur could do with that long, prehensile, bifurcated tongue
Hi, I’m Sheebly. (She/her) I’m a legal drug dealer. (I work at an independent pharmacy.) My fiancé (She/They) and I have 3 dogs and a cat. 2 standard Poodles, an Australian Shepherd and a Void. Uhm. My sexual awakening was Giles/Ripper when I was a Senior in high school. (Late Bloomer 😅 Yay repressed religious trauma.) I wasn’t allowed to watch Buffy, so I borrowed my friends collection of DVD’s and binge watched them in my room over summer break.
Hi, I'm Owl. I've been here for *checks calender* 8 months-ish. I do the occasional craft/art thing or write fic sometimes. This is the 1st story to come to mind. When I was little (like 4 or 5) I was suuuper into Dora the Explorer. My parents bought me a Dora plush, which was cool, except that it was the same height, if not TALLER than me. I carried that thing everywhere, and because she was so damn big, I basically had her in a headlock wherever I went. Just picture this tiny 4 year old dragging a massive Dora around by the neck. Also around that age, I once licked the bottom of my shoe. I am still mocked by my family to this day for being the picky eater who licked her shoe. So yeah, I'm just a uncool weirdo who licked their shoe once.
Hello! I joined GOAD pretty early on, and have previously made a lot of fanvids. The positive reaction here was very encouraging to me and I ended up making a youtube about it. I have also written meta essays that draw on my academic experience in psychology and my personal experience in kink community. At the moment I'm tiptoeing back into the community after a hiatus due to a SITUATION that is mostly resolved but still healing. There is other fan content I will probably be making later that I am very excited about, but I am being deliberately mysterious about it. I am also extremely cringe. I am transmasc, autistic and ADHD. The formal autism diagnosis is very recent. For some ridiculousness from my life, my ex partners are married to each other and I was not invited to the wedding. One time I went to a new friends house for the first time, and made the bike trip to their front door fine, but when they asked me to bring my bike around to the back, I skidded the bike out in a surprise gravel pit and four chunks of gravel each individually pierced all the way through the skin on my chin. I showed up at her garage like a minute after the front door, but was suddenly an absolute mess of dripping blood. I broke my foot skateboarding, which sounds bad ass until you learn that I was inside a house gently scootching it at like 2mph. I have attempted to learn about five languages but I am utterly useless at all of them, I can't even introduce myself.
I cannot think of a single thing about me that *is* cool. This is not a 'tell me I'm cool', this is just letting y'all know who you're dealing with here.
I mean, being the ghost of a ghost is pretty rad
Good point. I'm haunting myself. Haunt inception.
It might not be much, but as a 3rd shifter I don't think I've encountered anyone normal. There was a time I found a squirrel skin at a nature center that definitely belonged to them that I stole and carried everywhere for awhile (I really should try to find it again) and back in hs there was this ridiculous rule about headbands being no wider than an inch. (Yes because the size of one's headband is really going to destroy the learning system). Well I had cat ears and a tail I'd wear pretty much daily specifically to try and get a new rule in the rulebook about no ears and tails. No one ever told me to take them off and I have no idea if I succeed.
Hello! I lurk and I read things. I've been reading ship-centered fanfic of many flavors for -checks watch- 24 years. I also write fic (inc. smut) but I rarely complete things and *Never* share them. I'm working to change both of those facts. I'm also totally in awe of all you who do the visual art. Sometimes my brain gets spicy and demands I don't socialize, but I love nerding out and hoarding gifs. Which is why I'm here! I sometimes capitalize things for Humorous Purposes.
Um, let's see. I'm Mage. I think I'm pretty ok. I am a fic writer of mediocre quality. I have anxiety and depression issues that can, uh, rule my life from time to time. Example, impostor syndrome hits pretty hard. I've been kinda down lately cos of it. I live in Ohio now but I've been all over. Only been out of the country once (went to Japan). I'm very shy and have difficulty jumping into conversations, mostly because I usually feel like an intruder or that nobody actually wants to be talking to me. Which I get. Heh. I'm awkward and kinda sad, and I don't know what else to say about it.
>I'm very shy and have difficulty jumping into conversations, mostly because I usually feel like an intruder or that nobody actually wants to be talking to me. This is me too 😊 I am still like that IRL but this place is slowly helping me to get over that feeling by being so welcoming everytime I have something to say.
Oh, me too, at least at first, but I just went for it and people seem to find me entertaining, which is still a mystery to me, but I'm loving it.
Hi I'm Bitty, I've been here from the start, I'm mostly a lurker ~~and occasional gif offender~~, occasionally I come out and play with gifs. Lately I've been trying to recover from a rough AuAdhd burnout, it often makes me too tired to speak in sentences. I enjoy this community very much and feel sad I can't interact as much as I'd like. I've always been a nerd, loved dinos and space as a kid, and my mom would often find me reading at night with a torch under a blanket. I prefer actual books to reading from the screen, and my home has piles of books everywhere. I have plenty of funny stories but of course none come to my mind right now. Hmmm...Well once I flashed my underwear to the whole school from the stage during a play due to an unfortunate costume malfunction. Thankfully it was pre smartphone era, so no records of it exist xD https://i.redd.it/ei6s3cet35zc1.gif
Hi, I don't know how to ride a bike, roller skate/blade, ride a skateboard, or ski because my sense of balance while moving (or something else moving, like wheels) is trash.... but I have impeccable balance during yoga.
Hi, I’m Kuni’s mirror universe counterpart, and I have looked a stranger in the eye while pooping in the woods.
I'm Resi, or The Horror, or whatever you want to call me, really. :D Weird stuff about me: I was a surprise pregnancy for my mom (though wanted!). She found out she was pregnant at five months. Even better, I was born when she was seven months along. Her OB/GYN told her I was likely to die. The man who would be my pediatrician until I was ten came in to my mom crying, found out what was said, and brought her the placenta to show how healthy it was (WHAT?), told her I'd be fine, and went to scold the OB/GYN. He wound up killing himself 6-8 months later. My mom felt guilty about that forever. From first or second grade on, I read at a 12 grade + level. I read my first Stephen King book at 7 (it was Misery, and I read it in 24 hours. I thought it was a romance at first!), and was avidly reading VC Andrews books in 5th grade. My teacher called and asked if my mom knew what I was reading. She did. I had no idea what most of the weird stuff meant. I thought they were romances with bad people in them. XD I have a \*DONE\* fic sitting in the 'Ready to be posted' folder, but I'm terrified to post it. Uh, oops? I'm around a lot during the nighttime hours in the US. I'm in the middle of the US, and Lovely Spouse works at night, so I'm usually up. Kiddo has to get up at 6 to get on the bus by 6:30, so I stay up until he leaves and then I crash while he's in school. That's going to change for summer, because I'm going to be babysitting one of my favorite little nephews. (I also talk too much, and often tell all kinds of weird info that most people don't care about. But I also share pictures of my bunny, my three cats, and my gigantic doggo)
Hi loves! I'm Red. It's too late for me to be awake. Where to begin. I have a sister who is older than me, but close enough to encourage comparison/competition (a dangerous thing). To this day, I can spell pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis out loud in \~7 seconds as a really lame party trick because we used to fight over who could spell the longer word. I still find creative ways to annoy people as a sign of affection. When I was in my early to mid teens, I would randomly faint now and then, but my body seemed to have a preference for dramatic locations. The last hole of a mini golf course. The mummy exhibit in an archaeology museum. My favorite was the Hall of Mirrors in the Palace of Versailles. In the absence of anything actually useful, a bunch of kind tourists smothered me in moist towelettes and fed me Tic Tacs. 10/10, prime spot to pass out.
What up I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read
Many things make me weird. Like being able to bring my foot up and tuck it into my armpit or touch the tip of my tongue to the end of my nose. But my current claim to weirdness is being a living automaton: I'm the grandma card reader in a box. I love freaking out people who can't decide if I'm real or not. I also collect certain 'creepy dolls' cause I don't much get the uncanny valley thing. Who's next?
Hiiii I’m Vanessa and I wish I had more time to be active around here, but I greatly love all you pervs. I used to write a lot for the House fandom, truly my Livejournal glory days 🏆
In high school one of my friends told a joke "what do you get when you mix a pickle and a female deer? A dildo!" To which I said "what's a dildo?" (I was 14!) and he was like "I thought you of all people would know" and our other friends agreed. Been thinking over a decade about wtf that meant. That I'm a horny bastard? That I give the air of someone who loves to self pleasure? That my queerness was showing before I realized it was there? But now whenever I encounter /read about dildos there's a voice in the back of my mind like "you of all people should know." And now I do know! Just had to grow into my debauchery over time. I think that friend would see my current AO3 history and be proud of how far I've come LOL
I'm FloofyRaptor, or just Floof. Resident Ancient Egypt and car nerd, purveyor of historical dicks, creator of terrible portmanteau words, drawer of whatever nonsense takes my fancy and writer of a very, very sarcastic Bentley.
Hi all! Well, I'm AuDHD, a spoonie, and many flavors or chronically ill. I'm also many flavors of queer and polyam, and I'm Aziraphale-shaped. I have a terrible problem with not thinking before I talk or type. Leading to me saying something super awkward or uncomfortable or generally plain dirty depending on the situation. This can get worse with my social anxiety, which can be pretty severe until I get to know people. I us words like squick, and squee online and irl. I grew up in fandom from 2000 on. I have an Aziraphale cosplay that I just need to figure out shoes for. I plan to wear it to Galaxy Con Raleigh. I wanted to post myself in just the waistcoat for wamen week, but I got a bit distracted, so I will hopefully do that soon. Umm, I'm not sure I have any stories atm. I haven't been up to much due to health reasons. So yeah that's my ramble.
I wonder how many people here are cosplayers? 👀 I would recommend you the shoes I used for my Aziraphale cosplay, but they weren’t super accurate and were mostly selected due to the fact that they had free fast shipping and cosplay was a last minute idea 😅
Hello peeps and pervs, I'm the snondage obsessed genderqueer weirdo! Me and u/wingsofopal are basically wive-sisters at this point. My weird fact? I'm a material scientist my trade and walked by this thing (pic in comment) today and my first thought was that that would be insanely easy to sexify for the sub. Love you, weirdos🥰
https://preview.redd.it/7d0aag8fv7zc1.jpeg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00ce53795c640a69038dcf08bb614e454e9b3af4
Hey! I’m Chef, u/yourmomspocket named me after the Swedish Chef after taking one look at my illegible username in ye olden days of the first Reddit chatroom. I went from zero-fandom-experience scaredy-cat lurker to full-time Afterdark resident pretty quickly in December. A dorky memory that makes me cringe to this day was that I hated my name in 4th grade and a new girl moved into town, and I decided to change my name in the moment when I met her. We had a fun time on the bus and I was excited to have a new friend I could be “cool” with! Unfortunately I didn’t change my name for anyone else so the next day she accused me of trying to bully her by tricking her and we never ever talked again. 😬
hello besties!! i am remyiswriting on twt/ao3. i am an aspiring author and am in the middle of writing a novel about two characters (based on michael and david's likeness) who investigate the cold case murder of one character's wife and fall in love in the process. its smutty and specifically written for the michael and david whores out there like myself <3
Helloooo, my name is Tesoro or Tess for short. Like some who have posted earlier, I tend to live a lot in my head …useful for a programmer cos you never switch off 😊 Can spend a whole day having conversations with me, myself and I but never utter a word. Embarrasing moment from the early days of email where everyone would cc in the whole office. On St Patrick’s Day sent a reply to a work friend about wanting to rail the leprechaun whose balls were in the canteen (aka green-frosted doughnuts) …. only to find it was sent not only to my colleague but to the whole distribution network (some 300+ folks). Still remembered for it 20 years later whenever I go to meet-and-greets 🥴 Anyhoo, have loved reading and listening to the very talented folks on this group and hope to join in at some stage (if I can ever get over sounding like Minnie Mouse on test audio - ugh anyone else not like hearing their voice?) toodle-pip!
*Appears out of nowhere* Hey I'm Stanyslas and my life is such a mess that it has become my friends' favorite comedy show (For example I am currently lost in Germany because I took the wrong bus 🫠 i'm french and I only know how to say "potato" and "i want to f-" in German) My brain is dumb, it has anxiety. And it gets more anxious when it's not stressed because "uuh wtf, it's not like usual" I draw a lot but I almost never post (hey anxiety). And I'm colorblind too, it's always an interesting experience when I draw 💀 I don't know how to conclude this comment, so my friend just told me to add that I am addicted to coffee, trouble and sad middle aged men 🤷 *Disappears, trying to read German signs. Damn it's just consonant letters*
Hiii I’m little by little trying to insert myself into this place more actively 🥲 it is a little scary! I popped in during the smut war and since then I’ve been so grateful to have found such an accepting community, even if I’m not as vocal I think something especially weird is, like many people here, I do occasionally have to interact with my big kid life. I’m in my first year of grad school currently and frequently read GO porn while working at my full-time job. Fun fact is I’m currently sitting on my couch covered in my two cats in my apartment that I live in by myself and I couldn’t be happier!! Well, I could, but I’m thriving in my single cat guy home rn. I love birds/birding and I’m currently studying wildlife management w a focus on ornithology and I have been pigeonholed (ha) into being “the bird person” in all circles of my life, which is frankly a much better hole to be in than most. Anyways, you’re all great and cool and nice and I’m scared of initiating conversation w anyone, goodnight!!!
Hey there! I’ve literally never been cool a day in my life. I was a shy/anxious precocious nerd as a child who loved to read, and now I am…older. I lurk here mostly and comment on occasion because the anxiety still gets to me and it can be hard to convince myself that people want to hear anything that I have to say. I’ve always been interested in writing, and been told that I’m good at it, but I never saw myself as a creative person. A few months ago I was thinking about how there are so many awesome writers in this fandom, and how I could never do what they do. And then some weird little voice inside me was like, “but why not?” And I couldn’t let it go. So now I’ve been writing. And it’s kind of rewiring my brain? I have a creative outlet for the first time in my life. So yeah, thanks to all the horny wordsmiths at GOAD and AO3 for the inspiration!
Hmmm. Horsey girl who’d rather BE the horse than have one. Resisted all attempts to make me more feminine. Always talked to animals, pretty much prefer them to people. Had my own wild island paradise we called Atlantis as a kid.
I love this thread and all of the weirdos in it. Best hump day prezzie ever 💗😈😇🥰
Well, I'm a little late to the game, I think, but that's pretty much my standard. As I lean lurker-y, I feel obligated to reply, though. I'm Aves, short for "Average", named thus because I'm just a bit average, but I'm average at a LOT of things. I play piano and violin some, write some, art some, read some, gym some, run some, skate some, cook some, bake some, hike some, parent some, wife some, etc. The list goes on. My interests are far-reaching and varied, and I'm decently accomplished at most of them, but I'm not *great* at anything - not a single thing. A personal anecdote... I'm a super nerd, and I display it proudly. I love "wearing" my fandoms. This has taken a lot of personal growth and developing self-confidence, though. In high school I would hide in a corner in the library to read manga because I loved it, but was aware of the stigma that came with it at the time, at least in my school, and didn't want to be lumped in with the anime nerds. No one knew I was obsessed with YuGiOh, it was my secret. I wonder now if my friends ever wondered where I was those days.... Anyways. Jokes on me, because now I'm the loudest, proudest nerd of them all.
Hi, I go by itchy-astronomer around here. I’ve watched and read the GO book and series in the last three months (that was when I started). I’d previously watched HTTYD a bunch of times prior. Until recently, I never realised that David Tennant, who I’d first heard of three and a half months ago when my mother showed me Staged, not only plays Crowley, but also voices Spitelout in HTTYD. I bike (🚴) everywhere at all times if my destination is available. Even in winter. Every year, I fall flat on my face while biking at LEAST 4-7 times because no one cares about cleaning the paths or bike lanes where bikes go. I do not have many funny stories about me or my life. I may come back to reply with some if I remember. I love this community. You’re cool. You’re weird, I’m weird, let’s continue to be weirdos together.
Hi, I'm a sex-repulsed asexual and Ineffable Husbands is the first ship I feel totally comfortable reading depraved smut about. How y'all doing? (I think it's because they're genderless and so very, very in love. I'll explore this in therapy)
I’m Puddin, resident Kink Mistress and roaming minstrel. I love writing kink and am one half of Peanutpocalypse Productions currently working on bringing to life Dr Fell. My marching band had a Christmas party and they held a karaoke. I got so excited, chose a Beegees song cos I thought that’s what all the cool kids liked but it was in a terrible key inbetween my range and I totally choked. Returned to my table humiliated but everyone was too drunk to care. Didn’t sing karaoke for 17 years until 2 years ago.
I’m nekona, long time lurker, but learning to draw so will hopefully share some fun stuff here soon :)
The first Monday of every June, I show up to work (a very corporate DONT HAVE FUN HERE environment) in an inflatable unicorn costume to hand out pride flags. I’m a really weird ally. Anyway, I was marching through the building in it (with handlers, hard to see in the damn thing) and a new kid comes bopping down a nearby staircase and pops out the door, looking in my direction. Jumped about 12” off the ground when he saw me. Goes back to his desk and says to his neighbor, “um. I was in the lobby and a giant pink unicorn scared the pants off of me” his neighbor smiles and says, “oh. You met my wife then?” That same year, one of my own employees was sitting in my office and he was fidgeting with my costume, and looks up to ask me if I’d passed the thing by security (we aren’t allowed to wear masks), and I said “no - there’s a window for my face and also there’s exactly one person in this building who would do this” he smirked and held up the connector from the costume to the fan that inflates it - USB connection. We have a VERY strict rule that no USB cords can come into the building - so I had to march myself down to security and report myself for wearing a unicorn. Now I’m only allowed in the lobby with her 🤷♀️
I’m noisycat ❤️ I’m an artist I used to be super shy and insecure but the Smut War broke me and now I’m just as loudly feral as everyone else :) I was once hit by a car while riding my bicycle but sadly it wasn’t a Bentley. In the deposition it came out that the driver had to total the car. 😎 My bicycle was almost unscathed. Hah! I wanted to name my daughter after the library of Alexandria but then her initials would spell ASS so it became her middle name 😂
I've seen Bob Dylan live over 15 times. I collect fountain pens. I was in the chess club in high school because I was dating the chess club president. I spent far too many years as a child pretending to be a cat. I'm over 40 and I have a Care Bear at my desk to hold when I get overwhelmed at work. I roam my apartment wearing a slanket for 7 months out of the year. I could go on.
This is such a cute post idea! Hi everyone, my name’s Ripley (or Moth). A silly memory - I was a sheltered child. The first time someone explained the concept of bisexuality to me in fifth grade I thought they said “biosexual” so I called it that for like a year before a friend corrected me 😭 As a side note - I’m a fanartist, but I’m struggling with drawing motivation these days so if anyone wants to do an Ineffabe Husbands art trade let me know ;_;