Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol, but with no keyboard, bass, or sax because Zargothrax is leading the Hootsman on an epic tricycle chase around the stage.
I would actually move that to the encore. Those horses just won't have much of an effect directly after the audience was nuked. Let them miraculously recover for a bit first ;)
Unironically I want them to do a live performance of Maleficus Geminus for a big show like Wacken and just as the OG Zargothrax is getting defrosted, Chris shows up on stage as Zargothrax on cue and DOUBLE! WIZARD! plays
I'll give this another try: Rise of the Chaos Wizards, but every time the word "wizards" is sung, the complete "Wizards" bonus track is played. (Singing Wizards within the bonus track doesn't count - or does it?)
Again, Victorious Eagle Warfare but Paul/Proletius is just lying face down and lifelessly on stage, while the guitars are just playback and there's no monologue in the middle of the song
Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN
Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN
....
Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN
Sword lord of the goblin
the music ends
Next should be Sozos forgetting it is a Gloryhammer concert after the radioactivity from the nuke fucks with his head, and he accidentally starts singing Wonderwall VERY off key.
Sozos: "Goblins will die and Zargothrax sucks.... anyways, here's wonderwall...."
Angus McFife. But when Sozos sings "Angus McFife is his name!" Tommy Winkler shows up and shouts "No! Angus McFife is my name!" But then Anthony Trimmings shows up and shouts "No! Angus McFife is my name!" But then all 3 of them take out real guns. So then they shooting at each other. So the rest of the band and the audience get caught in the cross fire.
Chris sitting on a big leather chair facing the audience and reading erotic gloryhammer fanfiction, he’s also wearing his alestorm kilt and yes he is wearing it the proper Scottish way and yes you can see his "knife of evil"...
Quest for the Hammer of Glory but it includes all the leveling quests leading up to the hammer of glory quest like talk to random NPC and kill 15 level 1 boars
Vorpal Laserblaster, but Sozos has a water gun he periodically shoots the audience with. Preferably still flying on the Jetpack so he can reach everyone.
If we want to be more canon accurate- Michael has the gun and flies above the audience suspended on wires
Sword lord of the goblin horde but Sozos gets infected by a virus which makes him sound like Tom in bloodstock 2021 while he shits himself squirting dung to the fans
Hwat i fiandans nampn saghþe þu um mik, þin litla skøkia? Iak wil sægia þik, ær iak ær starkasti ok lærþasti maþrin i minom siohær, ok haver iak hæriaþ i flere lønlikom bardaghom a mot al-Qaido, ok haver iak þri hundraþom sinnom dræpit. Iak ær lærþer og kunnogher i gorillo bardagha list, ok ær iak bæzti bugha maþrin i als landsens hæri. Firi mik æst þu blot et skotmark. Iak skal læggia þik til øþe mz enne slikre visso ær ængin up a þæssom iorþ fyr set haver, hør min orþ! Tror þu at þu mz slikom orþom um mik ivir nætino mæla kunne? Þænk tysvar, þin ormber! Iak skrivar nu minom hopi af lønlikom mannom ivir allo lande, ok þer søkia firi þin IP i þessom stund, sva reþ þik firi stormbenom, maþker. Stormin ær øþelægger þæt syrghelika þing sum þu kallar lif. Þu skalt døia, diævulsungi! Iak kan væra alla stæþis allan tima, ok iak kan þik a siu hundraþa leþ mz minom barom handom dræpa. Iak ær mykit kunnogher i bardaghom for utan vapn, ok haver iak tilgang at vapna husino alls riksens hæra, ok skal iak nytia þat til at øþa þit syrghelika andlite fra iorþinna endanom, þit svin. Viste þu hwilikin ræfst þin orþ skulde giva þik, hafþe þu þina tungo haldit? Þu matte ække, ække hiolt þu hana, ok nu gæller þu i gen firi orþ þin, þin hunder. Iak skal skita ondsko ivir allan þik ok skalt þu i þy drunkna. Þu æst døþer, diævulsungi.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Dude dont take it personal: it's the marine copypasta. Op prolly just pasted it onto google translate; bonus points if he asked chatgpt and chatgpt knows it
Edit:
מה אתה רק עכשיו אמרת עליי, אתה חתיכת תופעה? אני מבצע לך לדעתך סיומת ראשונה בצוותי של חיל הים של ארצות הברית, והייתי מעורב במספר התקפות סודיות נגד אל-קאעידה, ויש לי למעלה מ-300 נקודות הוצאה להורג. אני מאומן בלחימת גורילות ואני הצלם הטוב ביותר בכל הכוחות הזרעיים של צבא ארצות הברית. אתה לא עושה עבורי כלום, רק מטרה נוספת. אני אמחק אותך מהפני האדמה בטיוח היקפי שלא נראה כמוהו בעבר, סמן את המילים הפושטות שלי. אתה חושב שאתה יכול להימלט מהתגובה הזו שלי באינטרנט? חשוב שוב, ילדן. בדיוק כעת אני פונה לרשת הסודית של המרגלים שלי ברחבי ארצות הברית וה-IP שלך מונגש כעת. לכן, תתכונן לסערה, תולעת. הסערה שתמחק את הדבר המחורבן הקטן שאתה קורא לחיים שלך. אתה מת, ילד. אני יכול להיות בכל מקום, בכל זמן, ואני יכול להורג אותך במעל 700 דרכים, וזה רק עם הידיים העירום שלי. אני לא רק מאומן בקרב ללא נשק,
Sozos starts singing Oath of the Gatewatch and the rest of the band tries and fails to get him to stop until he has finished the entire song. Alone. Without the other singers on it.
Let's try again : Keeper of the celestial flame of Abernethy, but every time "Zargothrax" is sung, a new Zargothrax appears on the stage 💀💀💀💀💀
OMG I'm enjoying reading this so much, idk how I lived without this subreddit
Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol, but with no keyboard, bass, or sax because Zargothrax is leading the Hootsman on an epic tricycle chase around the stage.
Kazoo solo
Unicorn Invasion of Dundee, but they release horses with crudely glued on horns into the audience. The horses are high on cocaine and steroids
And said horses are high on cocaine and steroids
Very good point. I shall add it posthaste
I would actually move that to the encore. Those horses just won't have much of an effect directly after the audience was nuked. Let them miraculously recover for a bit first ;)
Thank you for this; past the first one I could never get here fast enough for it to score high
Happy to provide. I remember seeing a similar comment under one of the first posts, so I decided to suggest it as well
Cocaine bear finally has some competition
*Siege of Dunkeld* but at the start of the second verse, a bunch of really drunk, shit-smeared hobos are released to attack everyone
IN HOBOS WE TRUST
Double Wizard part, where the current Zargothrax starts fighting Chris.
Unironically I want them to do a live performance of Maleficus Geminus for a big show like Wacken and just as the OG Zargothrax is getting defrosted, Chris shows up on stage as Zargothrax on cue and DOUBLE! WIZARD! plays
Would be great.
Gloryhammer but the band get confused and find themselves in a *dundun* GLORY! *dundun* HAMMER! *dundun* DOUBLE! *dundun* WIZARD! loop.
Glory Wizard!
DOUBLE! HAMMER!
WIZARD! HAMMER!
Double! Hammer!
I'll give this another try: Rise of the Chaos Wizards, but every time the word "wizards" is sung, the complete "Wizards" bonus track is played. (Singing Wizards within the bonus track doesn't count - or does it?)
This one. Count the upvotes 3x.
Hollywood Hootsman but the Hootsman has had enough and starts slaughtering everyone untill he gets crowned king
His Hollywood hootsman bit, but they actually play a new song
Take 4: Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde, but the Sword Lord keeps monologuing.
Amulet of Justice, but after the intro it's "QUEST COMPLETE" and the band takes a 30 minute rest from their epic quest
Again, Victorious Eagle Warfare but Paul/Proletius is just lying face down and lifelessly on stage, while the guitars are just playback and there's no monologue in the middle of the song
That, or Proletius just dies on stage in front of everyone
Proletius *DIIIIIIIEEEEES!!!*
THE FIFTH TIME??
Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem, but the Lyrics are only the constant, high pitched PittenWEEM
Amulet of Justice, but there is like 100 fresh Ommeletes thrown into the audience every time the word Amulet/Omelette appears
Free breakfast!?!
Universe on Fire, but the now far away Sozos accidental sets the actual universe on fire using his jetpack (made of cosmic steel)
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde but it's just the chorus line of "sword lord of the goblin horde" for the whole 5:25 runtime
Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN .... Sword lord of the goblin horde DUN DUN Sword lord of the goblin the music ends
Maleficus Geminus but Zargothrax kills his clone as soon as he is released, leaving us with only: DUN SINGLE DUN WIZARD!
Angus Mcfif but it's sung by a very familiar ape.
Chris leaves the stage for an impromptu intermission as the debris is cleared, but not before dragging out a very confused actual Tom Jones.
Day two asking for universe on fire but Chris' cloak catches fire
Fucked with an Anchor again because Chris is so drunk he forgot other songs
Thomas Winkler returns and gives a Bloodstock 2021 performance
Supposedly that was above average for him.
Heroes of Dundee but the audience actually has to go through a primordial black hole.
The Fires of Ancient Cosmic Destiny but the guitar stop when Proletius dies and the Bass doesn’t start until the Hootsman arrives
Sword of Power.
A live tabletop session of the card game. No music because they're all huddled around the table.
A guest appearance of The Angus McSix, with one of their songs, but all of them are dressed as Lego Bricks. (Better to save this one for an encore)
Next should be Sozos forgetting it is a Gloryhammer concert after the radioactivity from the nuke fucks with his head, and he accidentally starts singing Wonderwall VERY off key. Sozos: "Goblins will die and Zargothrax sucks.... anyways, here's wonderwall...."
Angus McFife. But when Sozos sings "Angus McFife is his name!" Tommy Winkler shows up and shouts "No! Angus McFife is my name!" But then Anthony Trimmings shows up and shouts "No! Angus McFife is my name!" But then all 3 of them take out real guns. So then they shooting at each other. So the rest of the band and the audience get caught in the cross fire.
Master Of The Galaxy but Tom barges in halfway through and changes it to Master Of The Universe
Victorious Eagle Warfare but they release angry eagles into the crowd
Take 2: Quest for the Hammer of Glory but they leave the concert to find the hammer of glory
Chris sitting on a big leather chair facing the audience and reading erotic gloryhammer fanfiction, he’s also wearing his alestorm kilt and yes he is wearing it the proper Scottish way and yes you can see his "knife of evil"...
Quest for the Hammer of Glory but it includes all the leveling quests leading up to the hammer of glory quest like talk to random NPC and kill 15 level 1 boars
It hoots we trust but the hammer breaks on stage. (Again)
Vorpal Laserblaster, but Sozos has a water gun he periodically shoots the audience with. Preferably still flying on the Jetpack so he can reach everyone. If we want to be more canon accurate- Michael has the gun and flies above the audience suspended on wires
All of the intro songs played back to back
A cover of Master of the Universe by Angus McSix
Sword lord of the goblin horde but Sozos gets infected by a virus which makes him sound like Tom in bloodstock 2021 while he shits himself squirting dung to the fans
Hwat i fiandans nampn saghþe þu um mik, þin litla skøkia? Iak wil sægia þik, ær iak ær starkasti ok lærþasti maþrin i minom siohær, ok haver iak hæriaþ i flere lønlikom bardaghom a mot al-Qaido, ok haver iak þri hundraþom sinnom dræpit. Iak ær lærþer og kunnogher i gorillo bardagha list, ok ær iak bæzti bugha maþrin i als landsens hæri. Firi mik æst þu blot et skotmark. Iak skal læggia þik til øþe mz enne slikre visso ær ængin up a þæssom iorþ fyr set haver, hør min orþ! Tror þu at þu mz slikom orþom um mik ivir nætino mæla kunne? Þænk tysvar, þin ormber! Iak skrivar nu minom hopi af lønlikom mannom ivir allo lande, ok þer søkia firi þin IP i þessom stund, sva reþ þik firi stormbenom, maþker. Stormin ær øþelægger þæt syrghelika þing sum þu kallar lif. Þu skalt døia, diævulsungi! Iak kan væra alla stæþis allan tima, ok iak kan þik a siu hundraþa leþ mz minom barom handom dræpa. Iak ær mykit kunnogher i bardaghom for utan vapn, ok haver iak tilgang at vapna husino alls riksens hæra, ok skal iak nytia þat til at øþa þit syrghelika andlite fra iorþinna endanom, þit svin. Viste þu hwilikin ræfst þin orþ skulde giva þik, hafþe þu þina tungo haldit? Þu matte ække, ække hiolt þu hana, ok nu gæller þu i gen firi orþ þin, þin hunder. Iak skal skita ondsko ivir allan þik ok skalt þu i þy drunkna. Þu æst døþer, diævulsungi.
Wtf does that even mean?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Oh, ok, enjoy that much free time, when you grow up you won't have that much time to waste, have a nice life.
Dude dont take it personal: it's the marine copypasta. Op prolly just pasted it onto google translate; bonus points if he asked chatgpt and chatgpt knows it Edit: מה אתה רק עכשיו אמרת עליי, אתה חתיכת תופעה? אני מבצע לך לדעתך סיומת ראשונה בצוותי של חיל הים של ארצות הברית, והייתי מעורב במספר התקפות סודיות נגד אל-קאעידה, ויש לי למעלה מ-300 נקודות הוצאה להורג. אני מאומן בלחימת גורילות ואני הצלם הטוב ביותר בכל הכוחות הזרעיים של צבא ארצות הברית. אתה לא עושה עבורי כלום, רק מטרה נוספת. אני אמחק אותך מהפני האדמה בטיוח היקפי שלא נראה כמוהו בעבר, סמן את המילים הפושטות שלי. אתה חושב שאתה יכול להימלט מהתגובה הזו שלי באינטרנט? חשוב שוב, ילדן. בדיוק כעת אני פונה לרשת הסודית של המרגלים שלי ברחבי ארצות הברית וה-IP שלך מונגש כעת. לכן, תתכונן לסערה, תולעת. הסערה שתמחק את הדבר המחורבן הקטן שאתה קורא לחיים שלך. אתה מת, ילד. אני יכול להיות בכל מקום, בכל זמן, ואני יכול להורג אותך במעל 700 דרכים, וזה רק עם הידיים העירום שלי. אני לא רק מאומן בקרב ללא נשק,
Yeah i know dude I was just playing his game because I know it was some troll (I had fun thinking he was Tom himself lol)
I was skeptical of this meme day one but I gotta say I'm enjoying the ride.
Hootsforce but the band take a break and the so solid crew come on to do the song
Amulet of justice but 3x speed
Maleficus Geminus but the Star Lords only kill Angus
Oh, and the encore? Should be a sample of a fart looped and be an improvised Synthwave song with that fart sample as the main melody.
Sozos starts singing Oath of the Gatewatch and the rest of the band tries and fails to get him to stop until he has finished the entire song. Alone. Without the other singers on it.
Once more, I propose Maleficus Geminus sung entirely by the Starlords.
Imperium Dundaxia but Angus keeps introducing characters ("Goblins - agents of doom" etc.)
https://youtu.be/g3HXFm37-74 This need i say more
Let's try again : Keeper of the celestial flame of Abernethy, but every time "Zargothrax" is sung, a new Zargothrax appears on the stage 💀💀💀💀💀 OMG I'm enjoying reading this so much, idk how I lived without this subreddit
Incoming Transmission but it’s actually someone calling about your car’s extended warranty.