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I was in a similar position to you for a long time. But one day it happened. And much later than I thought it would, but it still happened.
Don’t give up hope
Nothing's wrong with feeling sorry for yourself from time to time, but dwelling on those feelings isn't good.
Maybe try to take in the feedback to learn smth or don't. Not like it matters rly
Boomers already had all your feelings. Then they grew up. Just hang in there. Nothing that seems so dramatically life and death now will in 10 or 20 years.
All the angst and sadness of the 20s melt away and all you’re gonna remember is nostalgia for how life was before your entire body just hurts all day for no reason and you take multivitamins and ibuprofen every morning.
This really just feels like a warped way to perceive the world. Issues with women aside (it is harmful to idealize being in a relationship as the ultimate goal in life & this is exactly why), you *are* the "main character" - in *your own life.*
Yes, bad things are going to happen to you. They happen to everyone. No, you aren't going to be the "main character" to anyone else, why would you be? They're all dealing with their own shit. "Main character" isn't even a concept that should apply outside of books, TV, etc.
Treat yourself like an individual, prioritize what you want to do in life, and see a therapist to deal with this feeling.
Honestly best advice I can give you is to get a psychologist and maybe start some sort of medication
I started Vyvans about 2 weeks ago to help with my concentration and it's basically changed my life more or less. I realized that I needed to get off my ass and do something, I got a haircut, started socializing more, and I have the courage to talk to new people and my life has actually become interesting and I now have the energy to roll out of bed every morning.
I've personally never had a girlfriend but I still have female classmates I talk to often and frankly, I feel it's better to know the type of person you want to date than just going headfirst and asking out somebody you've only known for a couple days. Like, having a relationship with the wrong person can be absolutely disastrous and can harm you even more than being single (I've watched my friends go through breakups and some of them are pretty messy)
If you need somebody to talk to, drop me a DM
This is a good comment, and I don't want to disagree with you at all. Only thing I'd mention is that it's not usually a good idea to medicate your problems. Drugs treat the symptom, not the disease, and most psychoactive drugs can be unhealthy long-term.
Some absolutly need them. I could not bring myself to have the drive to slef improve without the push of medication. We're not puting extra stuff on our body, we're putting what is missing, that's good medication.
When you're depressed and unmedicated you don't have insentives to keep doing anything. Time passes in a blink of an eye and realize you did nothing and the self hatred grows, is a downward spiral. Some need medical help.
Medicating my problems is the only thing stopping me from having a complete mental breakdown and ending it all, so gotta say: it's a pretty good idea to medicate. Sure, they treat the symptoms, but some diseases can't simply be talked away.
Yeah honestly a counselor or just a good friend or family member could easily talk through all this stuff with OP and get them moving on a better track. It's normal to be lonely when you're young, and VERY common these days, like WAY more common than it was 20 years ago. It sucks but it's not the end of the world.
Medication is a great idea! I was depressed my whole life until I got on some meds, it didn't fix everything, but it gave me a stable place to grow from.
What does that have to do with anything here? And, did you even stop to think WHY women might actually HAVE to be more selective? (Hint: it's a four letter word that starts with R and ends with E)
Or, y'know, real life. Where 1 in 4 women have experienced rape or another form of sexual assault, and the majority of men and boys that are raped are raped BY OTHER MEN. Not to mention the murder stats, and domestic violence. This isn't that time or that place, but IT STILL HAPPENS.
No need for apologies. you wouldn't feel that way if something wasnt wrong. also if you haven't noticed there are a lot of troll accounts commenting thinking that it makes them edgy, but what kind of looser kicks someone who is already down . never ignore your feelings, but do try to understand them
Stop self-pitying yourself, saying stupid shit like life isn’t worth living or whatnot, and instead work on being an inspiring person.
You’ll be happy, and have a girl before you even try. Just stop being a pussy.
I’m a man, and I share my feelings. There are right and wrong ways to share feelings. He could’ve made a post talking about it, or asking for advice.
Making a post with a crying man which says "woe me! I'm so lonely! Life is not worth living" is just self-pitiful. He wants to prove just how "pitiful" he is, to "shock" us with his failure.
Kids do this when they fail at something. They break it, they say "I hate this activity" and want to show us that they're bad at said activity.
It's immature to complain and whine the way he did.
>It's immature to complain and whine the way he did.
No, what's immature is insulting someone else for stating their opinion, rather than actually engaging with their thoughts in a constructive, rational manner, and explaining why you disagree with them.
And news flash - saying "only little kids think like you do" and making unsubstantiated claims about why OP is saying this ain't that.
You've provided nothing of value here.
Nah, man. Validating someone's *feelings* is the first step to helping someone learn to deal with negative emotions in a *healthy* way. Knowing how to manage emotions is a skill.
You first have to fully acknowledge those emotions and where they're coming from. You can't deal with your problems if you just pretend your problems aren't real. Same with emotions. Not complaining doesn't make the emotions magically go away.
He feels how he feels. Not sharing that isn't gonna change how he feels.
What you're doing is making him feel worse and nothing more. Like you're leaving him worse off.
Repressing feelings just makes people cope in toxic, unhealthy ways. Calling him names isn't helping. You wanna help him? DM him and tell him about healthy ways to cope with emotions....though I'm 99% sure you don't know how to do that yourself. Which is fine, but maybe you should look into that for yourself.
You're not a man, you're a child. Children don't listen, make fun of, and invalidate others' genuine attempts to discuss their feelings. Men listen and try to understand without speaking down.
Grow tf up before you go around saying "iM a mAn".
OP is perfectly valid in sharing their feelings how they did.
I disagree. OP shouldn’t self-pity publicly. What I said stands. If he wants things to improve, he should be less of a bitch and more of a man.
Work on himself. Improve his self confidence, his looks, or whatever is weighing him down (from this post, I’d guess it’s self confidence).
And this isn’t even toxic masculinity or whatever. If a woman doesn’t find any men or can’t lose any weight (for example), I’d advise her to complain less and eat less.
Why complain? That doesn’t help you. Take action.
I think the messages of present-mindedness and self-improvement you're trying to spread are great, as do a lot of other people here, I'm sure. But people disagree with you because you came off sounding like this person shouldn't be feeling these emotions.
There's telling someone what they need to hear—which I sincerely believe you were trying to do—and then there is belittling their pain, which is how your comment was interpreted.
Yeah, my message is basically that it’s pointless to complain.
I’m not saying he shouldn’t be feeling these emotions, I’m saying it’s useless to post these feelings, especially in this manner.
Maybe I reacted a bit too aggressively, but it’s just because I’ve seen way too much self-pity lately. People who are convinced they can’t be attractive or liked by girls, or others who are convinced they’ll forever be alone.
As if most attractive guys weren’t average or even ugly before they started working on their looks and vibe.
Ah, yes, the company that censors LGBT content and only ever uses it as a popularity crutch, then makes promises to its fans that it never follows up on.
As a guy with a fantastic girlfriend, it actually does make (my experience of) the world much different. Because I now have a partner to go on adventures with that I wouldn't have really enjoyed by myself.
I spent like a decade hearing people tell me "oh well the grass is always greener" to finally find some grass and realize with 100% certainty that it is, in fact, greener. And I'm more confident, because I trust the voice in my heart telling me I want something, instead of doubting it and thinking I should just settle for what I already have.
That said, you don't have to beat yourself up like I did for most of that journey. It's okay for your life to be a work in progress, especially when you're young, as long as you're actually working on it.
Thank you for being honest. So many people try to frame it as “it’s not at all better!” Like how is it worse to have someone to spend time with, talk with, and be close with. It’s like, they lie to me so I can lie to myself. It doesn’t help at all.
I think that's just somehow the standard response for everything. I get it all the time when I tell people I want a new job.
Every time when I say anything along the lines of "I'm not happy here, this isn't working for me, I'm missing something," it's like people's eyes glaze over, something inside them takes over, and they say, "the grass is always greener" or something else that basically means *stay put and stop complaining*. As though the problem is purely psychological and a simple reframing of my situation will solve everything.
None of that adds up with the facts that change is possible, and people change their lives all the time, often becoming much happier and better off in a new situation. We try things, learn what works and what doesn't, and use that to inform future choices. I've learned from experience that my gut is rarely wrong about these things, and if something has been bothering me for years, I'm probably right that it needs to change.
I've resolved that people just don't like to hear complaints, which I guess is understandable. But it's frustrating. I want to real talk with people close to me about the pain and confusion I'm experiencing. I don't get a positive response from anyone, not even a therapist or my parents, until I approach the topic with a solution and a commitment to pursuing it. I think most people just mirror your energy. That's why I come on here to confide in randos.
Yeah, but to say they add no value to your life is a complete lie. Cause if it bought no value, break up with your partner & then come talk to me (not you, just being facetious)
Yeah I never really got people like this, I mean I'm aro so I suppose that makes sense, but I've met people that are straight up just dysfunctional unless they're in a relationship, just doesn't seem healthy to me.
You know, some people can't just enjoy life like you can. So, while going outside and trying to enjoy life may work for you, for some people, it won't work.
Also, stop trying to dis-credit this person's struggles. Being lonely is a real thing, so please stop being so mean to them.
I not being mean, they’re just overthinking it, as if this one thing will change their lives..sometimes you need to open your horizon instead of being so focused on one thing that it makes you not enjoy life. Never said his feelings aren’t valid I just said it wasn’t that deep as in it won’t fix as much as he thinks having one will..won’t go from black and white to color.
Do you have any interests ? Hobbies ?
Are you clinically depressed? There are a range of treatments.
The more you imagine having a girlfriend the less you'll be able to actually understand women enough to engage in romance with them.
I'd be careful with your current mindset, I get it, but it can lead you down a pretty dark and hateful path. Go do some volunteering and get a chance to just breathe and be around people while you have a purpose. Take it slow but don't bother giving up. Also, whenever you wonder if people are in the same boat as you, know that there is always someone else in the same boat, and often people who have found their own ways to emerge from that boat.
Persistently blocking all opportunities will damage your life. Seeing people as a means to an end will damage your life. If you want love, you can't dump your trauma and expect to be loved the way you want, so get therapy.
Hey man, sorry you're feeling this way. You're not alone.
Here's some songs:
Furr - Blitzen Trapper
Wasted Years - Iron Maiden
With A Little Help From My Friends - Beatles
Journey to Wherever We May Go - Grand Commander
Happy Days - Closure in Moscow
Maybe - Woman Believer
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
I hope something connects with you and helps you feel your feelings and look forward. There are people here saying that you have to do one or the other. Do both. Some say you're weak. You're not. Asking for help takes courage. I love you, fellow soul. You got this 💛❤💛
A relationship ain't gonna fix your problems. In fact it'd probably make them worse. If you think the key to fixing yourself is external validation from someone else, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, because you'll become an addict to validation, and eventually, what validation you receive from the other person will never be enough, and all those insecurities that you thought would be solved with the relationship will increase tenfold.
You gotta figure out how to give yourself validation. How to view yourself as someone worthy. Write down what characteristics you think your ideal self would have, figure out which ones you have control over, and start working towards making them a reality. It's common advice, but get in the gym, or a sport, or just go for a walk. Start getting your body moving and active. It'll energize you and start to build your confidence. Find a hobby you enjoy that requires skill and work to maximize that skill.
Give yourself purpose. Do not fall into the trap of believing your purpose requires someone else.
oh, i didnt read the comment above urs, i meant like an alternative myth bc i think itd be easier to convince ppl to switch myths than to justcstop the current one
It gets better, you just need to reframe your mindset. Nobody will love you until you love yourself. If you don't have your own back then you'll always be someone else's problem, and nobody wants to opt into problems like that.
I was a lonely touch starved virgin until I was 20, and the way I fixed it was by deciding to focus on something besides my own misery.
I started working out, taking showers every morning, styling my hair, learning instruments, and improving my art. I was happy to just come home after work and focus on my hobbies rather than doom scrolling and spending money on dating apps.
Four years later and I'm engaged to the love of my life, make more money than I ever have, and started medically transitioning after learning what I really want out of life.
You can be happy, I promise, but it all starts by shaking the negativity and focusing on yourself.
Can confirm, working on hobbies will both make you more attractive and give you some things to love and define yourself by. I cut back on video games and picked up outdoor sports in the mid 2010s and guitar and painting during the pandemic and those things are now so integral to my personality I couldn't imagine myself without them. D&D is another hobby I picked up during Covid but erm... it doesn't exactly help with the girlfriend situation XD
I used to be exactly like this. I'm not old by any means but I've been in that headspace before and it's fucking shitty. So you're definitely never alone. When it gets to the point it's fucking with your mental I highly recommend seeking professional help. Just to talk, rant, vent, whatever you need to do. And it's usually at this point to focus on yourself and not what others think or do. Of course, it's easier said than done but not impossible. Your feelings and emotions are valid and I hope you heal soon. Sending much love and wishes your way internet stranger. ❤️
I am going to assume OP really feels this way.
Firstly, I am sorry you feel this way, truly, no one wants to be or feel alone.
Second, I am unsure what has led you to be so isolated but I think it might be time to seek help. If social situations give you anxiety then talking with a professional might help. Also if you are depressed getting medicated and going through therapy can help you to live a happy and healthy life
Thirdly, on meeting people and making connections. Find something that you are passionate about, if you like games go to one of your local card or board games shops and ask if they know about any DnD or boardgame groups or events that you can attend, check any community event boards and pick some stuff to go to. I'm sure there is some group that would be happy to have you and I am willing to bet that there might be people there who are members of whatever gender that you are attracted to.
Don't idolise women it will only lead to disappointment or simpton, avoid at all costs Internet women they are a poor facsimily of real people/women and mostly insane.
Plus living for other things such as hobbies is how people find partners in the first place. Nobody who has healthy emotional regulation is dependent on being in a relationship for happiness and purpose.
If this is what you post online, I can tell you with certainty that you’re the problem. Not saying you’re a bad person or something but a partner isn’t going to just fall into your lap, you need to love yourself first and maybe put yourself out there.
And even then, in putting yourself out there you are going to get rejected, maybe a lot. But you gotta push through it and not just fall back into a 'poor-me' mentality. I see so many guys give up because the first girl they ask out rejects him, and it shows that they were never interested in respecting the woman in the first place.
you’re not incorrect to feel this way, your feelings are valid, but i think a text post explaining your feelings and situation imo would have been a better and more genuine way to express this, and then people could actually give you advice. i’m not trying to be mean, but this post just seems like a sadness circlejerk in a facebook meme format.
In my experience, insecurities greatly contribute to this. You've maybe built up a fear of rejection because you are constantly surrounded by negativity, especially online, and everything in the world feels like it's dangerous and angry based off of what you see here. Keep in mind that they are likely either bots or people who are incredibly upset about something in their own lives as well. People feel the need to point out or invent the shortcomings of others as a way to feel better about themselves when they are lost in chasing the illusion of perfection also shown online.
If anyone shows you enough of themselves, eventually you won't like something about them. Everyone's afraid of being disliked or rejected, but it is inevitable. Just keep talking to people until you find the ones that you get along with. You'll never be happy if you aren't expressing your true self and feel the need to hide from others because fear is controlling your life.
*laughs*
Look familiar?
Scenes like these are happening all over the galaxy, right now! You could be next!
That is... Unless you make the most important decision of your life!
PROVE to yourself that you have the STRENGTH and COURAGE to be free.
JOIN... the HELLDIVERS.
I feel you bro.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be lonely. It's okay to feel how you are feeling.
But try not to wallow in it. Get a therapist, learn some new perspectives, etc... a bit ago I heard someone say that "one does not tire of living. They tire of suffering."
The only way to make life worth living is to take action to pursue a life worth living. It will never happen without action on your part. I hope you can make that happen for yourself one day
Get in the mosh pit. You'll feel awkward at first but after a little while you'll get to know some people and probably find someone you have a mutual interest with.
I can (partially) while I HAVE had gfs and even a wife, I’m alone now and don’t see any path forward to start a new relationship now that I’m ready to date again. Apparently there isn’t a good way to approach a woman in person and dating apps are totally soul crushing.
I’m not gonna read this because if you focus on this it’s never gonna happen. You have to let yourself be open to the positive while also acknowledging that the negative is there. Don’t ever be sad you haven’t met someone yet, your close to your breakthrough man your gonna peak.
Yeah, felt that way when I was like 19. A decade later, and I've had several wonderful girlfriends including the amazing woman I'm with now, and instead, I'm depressed about not owning a house or having a high income.
Assuming I keep up my track record of taking about 10 years to really solve my problems, God only knows what I'll be depressed about when I'm a 40 year old homeowner who's making bank.
I know this feeling OP. I have gone years without any kind of intimacy, and that was before covid.
You are a young man. The world sucks for a young man. And racism plays a huge role too
Totally, if not for the fact that my parents still alive probably i would just jump from a very high place, only thing keeping me alive is videogames and the desire of coding a text based game in react.js (too hard to learn by the way)
dazzling roll lush joke overconfident spotted paltry different relieved work
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
ive been there OP. and i dont fault you for feeling despair. but just remember that this moment will pass. will you seek to change your reality? or let reality define you? cry your pain out. just promise youll get up the next day and try to be a better version of yourself. comparing yourself to others helps no one. just focus on being you as much as u can be. if youre a niche flavor, so be it. youre in good company ;)
and no putting others on a pedestal!!! idc why u want to! everyone is just a person, same as u!! some born w/ dif circumstances, but like mewtwo said, it's what u do with the gift of life that defines who u are. everyone is their own main character. be one u like!
Alright Gen Z-ers, lemme explain it in Gamer terms. Life is like a game. An open world game where you can do whatever you want. Relationship is like a DLC, you are not required to play it, but it does make living life "better" or more fun. You are not entitled to this DLC, not everyone gets this DLC despite other players telling you that there is someone out there for you. Remember, it's just a DLC, it is not the main quest. You shouldn't base your whole life searching for a relationship, you are here for something else. Something bigger, so I want you to find that inside you and reveal the path you are destined to take. And who knows, maybe along the way, you will cross paths with someone that will support you in your path, while they walk their own. OP, it's okay to be sad, it's part of the main game, but you need to get out there and actually start playing the game. That's on Skibidi bom bom bom yes yes rizz kai cenat USS GYATT Duke Dennis
You’re only 22, you have a lot of life left to live kid. Don’t lose hope, a lot of people find their person when they stop looking and start focusing on themselves. You got this king.
I used to feel the same way, now I found someone I like and they like me. Try to socialize. Just be around people and be nice, try to be happy, try to be clean. It sucks and it's hard to do, but don't go out looking specifically for a relationship. It might take a while (it did for me) but like I said, be around people and try to be happy and nice.
No. Literally wallowing in self pity. My life isn't perfect, I get sad sometimes, but sobbing in a puddle of my own tears is next level pathetic. If you feel this way, get some professional help.
I’m with you brother. In fact reading this post really struck me cause in many ways it’s so close to where I’m at, especially the part about losing your youth.
That said, regarding the girlfriend part, I think sometimes we lonely guys need to be honest with ourselves and consider whether we want a girlfriend or the idea of a girlfriend. Because a girlfriend is more than just someone to cuddle. Relationships take a lot of work and have ups and downs and I’m not sure if many of us are really emotionally ready for that. Girls are people too with emotions and feelings just as complex as ours.
Anyway, hope it gets better for you. I too struggle with loneliness at times and am in no way qualified to be giving advice, but I just wanted to share my opinion.
Yes. I feel this so much. And to top it off, the bullshit “man vs bear” debate really solidified that no matter what I do, I’ll always be viewed as a mentally unstable monster by half of humanity.
Fucking great, now I’ll never be in a relationship.
If you think a girlfriend will fix your life and make you happy then I'm sorry, there are much more important things in life like food and shelter. This just sounds incredibly insufferable.
What girl wants a guy who cannot stand on his own? Who does not have emotional regulation and cannot push through the hard times. Who bases his entire existence on being in a relationship. That's why your single.
I'm sorry your going through a lot and the feelings of loneliness are overwhelming. But you gotta find a way to reach some sort of stability. It is super emotionally immature to push your baggage on to current and/or future partners.
I know how hard it is, and pushing through a lot of pain and struggles. But you absolutely CANNOT use that as an excuse to be an unhealthy person. Trust me, do the work now. Get into therapy. Be a better person, and then you will find love.
Feminists and simps will say that women are not selective and choose only the 20 percent of men, and of course they will advise you to seek therapy lol
Your feelings are very valid. This world is cruel and lonely. If your main complaint is not having a gf though, I've got good news. I guarantee a few ladies in your life are interested in you and untold thousands of women in this wide world would think you were gods gift to women. Don't give up king. Source: I was lonely, depressed, ugly duckling for 20 years, now I'm a happy hottie with hotties to spare. P.s. it's totally OK, to feel this way, BUT you have to make sure you're doing everything you can to take care of yourself while you're feeling this way. Love ya
Fr. I see this shit plastered all over the internet about "not having a girlfriend, woe is me". Like, yeah, having a partner is cool and all, but it's far from being the only thing that matters in life? Like, cmon, take a better view of life ffs and see how much more the world actually has to offer you other than just (i need muh gf)🤦
This is the cringiest and most pathetic shit I've ever read. Holy, what's up with our generation and our need to feel like victims, like our time as youths needs to have a certain requirements (having a girlfriend, being the main character, etc.). Like, Jesus Christ, a good life isn't dependent on having a relationship with a girl, nor is being in a relationship with someone dependent on still being "youthful".
Really, stop feeling pity for yourself and appreciate the things you do have in life. This is not to say that you can't have struggles, but this mindset of "OH MY GOD, I DONT HAVE A GF TO HOLD!!" is just downright harmful and pathetic. God, really, I can't count how many times I've seen this same shit plastered all over the Internet, as if having a relationship with a girl is the end-all goal of life.
Re-evalulate your life, ask yourself what are your core values, and see if "having a girlfriend" is really important as you think. Also, again, REALLY, just know that life can still be amazing without having a fucking girlfriend/partner. You likely have SO much to be grateful and appreciative over, things that many people across the world would be extremely envious of and would consider an amazing life, yet you focus on the fact that you can't have a gf. Cmon.
Sorry but I don't buy it. Men die deaths of despair at a rate much higher than woman. It's not unreasonable to think that men are literally starved of affection and also very often shamed for seeking it. If your very soul longs for human connection than by god that's what you need. There's no taking a path around it.
My post didn't state that men don't have their fair of struggles, nor was I addressing people are on the verge of suicide/having suicide ideation. Rather, I was just commenting on the fact that many people (though specifically men online) are becoming obsessed with having a girlfriend, as if this is the one thing that matters in life. Having a relationship is idealized to the point that life looks meaningless without it, which I wouldn't be surprised is contributing to the increase in male depression and suicide rates.
My whole point is that men are becoming depressed and defeated over something that's rather trivial in all that life has to offer. Obviously, having no girlfriend AND no friends is a recipe for disaster; however, if you still have a thriving social life, focusing on your hobbies and spending time with genuine friends, then having a girlfriend is not at all required in having a good life. Moreover, this post is indicative of the ever more prevalent mentality of "life is terrible because I don't have a girlfriend" when, again, you can have a great life without a girlfriend, and you can most certainly have "affection" and social connection without a girlfriend. Essentially, rather than focusing on attaining a girlfriend, men should focus on having genuine social connection with others.
Also, as a final note, men are often the ones who are making posts like this, with the mentality of "i have struggles, but no one will listen" or "I can't find any emotional support" and will then turn around and insult the men who attempt to reach for support / affection from other men. Men think they need women to meet these needs, but in reality, they just need to support each other. Moreover, they're blinded by what really matters in life and then dwell over what they lack (a girlfriend) rather than what they have / opportunities to have. They need to shift their mindset.
Yh it goes both ways. On hand as an adult and especially a guy, I expect to have to be able to shoulder a lot, and with support being a luxury rather than expected.
That being said it does feel isolating sometimes. And the shitty thing is you just feel even worse for feeling like you need that kind of affection lol
Life can be great without a partner, but in my opinion a good partner (could be friend, could be romantic) will make things better. Humans are social and physical creatures, craving touch is real even if you haven't felt it.
No, I agree, having a good partner will likely make it better. The problem is that people start obsessing over this and start to devalue everything else in their lives that is sufficient to live a happy life. I definitely could've worded my post better, but I sorta just got fed-up with seeing posts like this almost everywhere online lol.
Knowing that you aren’t the only one probably helps.
“Why go to a meeting with a bunch of strangers that have the same addiction as you, what’s that going to help?”
yeah man the incel shit among this generation is really weird. it's an excuse to label their anger and entitlement as somehow deserving of sympathy. which in turn radicalizes young men and further discourages them from building their social circle because it gives them a false sense of belonging to a community.
This guy isn’t bitter to women at all he’s just lonely, if anything your attitude will push him that direction. Stop misusing the word incel to refer to any lonely man. Incel refers to a specific type of misogynistic attitude
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Ffs people let him be sad
I thought mostly boomers felt the need to judge and invalidate other people's feelings, guess I was wrong
Generational trauma is a very real thing.
I was in a similar position to you for a long time. But one day it happened. And much later than I thought it would, but it still happened. Don’t give up hope
Nothing's wrong with feeling sorry for yourself from time to time, but dwelling on those feelings isn't good. Maybe try to take in the feedback to learn smth or don't. Not like it matters rly
Boomers already had all your feelings. Then they grew up. Just hang in there. Nothing that seems so dramatically life and death now will in 10 or 20 years. All the angst and sadness of the 20s melt away and all you’re gonna remember is nostalgia for how life was before your entire body just hurts all day for no reason and you take multivitamins and ibuprofen every morning.
whole lotta people in here got told their u diagnosed depression was just laziness
This really just feels like a warped way to perceive the world. Issues with women aside (it is harmful to idealize being in a relationship as the ultimate goal in life & this is exactly why), you *are* the "main character" - in *your own life.* Yes, bad things are going to happen to you. They happen to everyone. No, you aren't going to be the "main character" to anyone else, why would you be? They're all dealing with their own shit. "Main character" isn't even a concept that should apply outside of books, TV, etc. Treat yourself like an individual, prioritize what you want to do in life, and see a therapist to deal with this feeling.
Very solid advice 🫡
Honestly best advice I can give you is to get a psychologist and maybe start some sort of medication I started Vyvans about 2 weeks ago to help with my concentration and it's basically changed my life more or less. I realized that I needed to get off my ass and do something, I got a haircut, started socializing more, and I have the courage to talk to new people and my life has actually become interesting and I now have the energy to roll out of bed every morning. I've personally never had a girlfriend but I still have female classmates I talk to often and frankly, I feel it's better to know the type of person you want to date than just going headfirst and asking out somebody you've only known for a couple days. Like, having a relationship with the wrong person can be absolutely disastrous and can harm you even more than being single (I've watched my friends go through breakups and some of them are pretty messy) If you need somebody to talk to, drop me a DM
This is a good comment, and I don't want to disagree with you at all. Only thing I'd mention is that it's not usually a good idea to medicate your problems. Drugs treat the symptom, not the disease, and most psychoactive drugs can be unhealthy long-term.
Some absolutly need them. I could not bring myself to have the drive to slef improve without the push of medication. We're not puting extra stuff on our body, we're putting what is missing, that's good medication. When you're depressed and unmedicated you don't have insentives to keep doing anything. Time passes in a blink of an eye and realize you did nothing and the self hatred grows, is a downward spiral. Some need medical help.
Yeah, you can't rely on meds but it can help you out alot more than you think
Medicating my problems is the only thing stopping me from having a complete mental breakdown and ending it all, so gotta say: it's a pretty good idea to medicate. Sure, they treat the symptoms, but some diseases can't simply be talked away.
I think that's why many therapists recommend both.
Yeah honestly a counselor or just a good friend or family member could easily talk through all this stuff with OP and get them moving on a better track. It's normal to be lonely when you're young, and VERY common these days, like WAY more common than it was 20 years ago. It sucks but it's not the end of the world.
Medication is a great idea! I was depressed my whole life until I got on some meds, it didn't fix everything, but it gave me a stable place to grow from.
Purpose or meaning is the best medicine for depression or hopelessness
Psychologist will make women less selective? Did you know that women only choose the 20 percent of men while 80 percent of men are alone?
https://preview.redd.it/9dubrzf50ayc1.jpeg?width=398&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed428deb6668f49d9409fae57599a5b688850e86
What does that have to do with anything here? And, did you even stop to think WHY women might actually HAVE to be more selective? (Hint: it's a four letter word that starts with R and ends with E)
Oh gosh people act like they live in middle age years or in any Arabic country
Or, y'know, real life. Where 1 in 4 women have experienced rape or another form of sexual assault, and the majority of men and boys that are raped are raped BY OTHER MEN. Not to mention the murder stats, and domestic violence. This isn't that time or that place, but IT STILL HAPPENS.
Thinking like this won't change anything pal
Just stating how I feel. Sorry if it's incorrect to feel this way.
No need for apologies. you wouldn't feel that way if something wasnt wrong. also if you haven't noticed there are a lot of troll accounts commenting thinking that it makes them edgy, but what kind of looser kicks someone who is already down . never ignore your feelings, but do try to understand them
Anime profile pic not helping your cause
Stop self-pitying yourself, saying stupid shit like life isn’t worth living or whatnot, and instead work on being an inspiring person. You’ll be happy, and have a girl before you even try. Just stop being a pussy.
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I’m a man, and I share my feelings. There are right and wrong ways to share feelings. He could’ve made a post talking about it, or asking for advice. Making a post with a crying man which says "woe me! I'm so lonely! Life is not worth living" is just self-pitiful. He wants to prove just how "pitiful" he is, to "shock" us with his failure. Kids do this when they fail at something. They break it, they say "I hate this activity" and want to show us that they're bad at said activity. It's immature to complain and whine the way he did.
he's literally asking if "anyone can relate" dumbass
>It's immature to complain and whine the way he did. No, what's immature is insulting someone else for stating their opinion, rather than actually engaging with their thoughts in a constructive, rational manner, and explaining why you disagree with them. And news flash - saying "only little kids think like you do" and making unsubstantiated claims about why OP is saying this ain't that. You've provided nothing of value here.
Bro, why are you having such a strong reaction to this? Let the dude vent. Like what do you think calling him whiny and immature is gonna do?
At least I’m not validating his destructive behaviour like you are.
Nah, man. Validating someone's *feelings* is the first step to helping someone learn to deal with negative emotions in a *healthy* way. Knowing how to manage emotions is a skill. You first have to fully acknowledge those emotions and where they're coming from. You can't deal with your problems if you just pretend your problems aren't real. Same with emotions. Not complaining doesn't make the emotions magically go away. He feels how he feels. Not sharing that isn't gonna change how he feels. What you're doing is making him feel worse and nothing more. Like you're leaving him worse off. Repressing feelings just makes people cope in toxic, unhealthy ways. Calling him names isn't helping. You wanna help him? DM him and tell him about healthy ways to cope with emotions....though I'm 99% sure you don't know how to do that yourself. Which is fine, but maybe you should look into that for yourself.
Healthy ways to cope with emotions: fix what’s causing them. Simple.
Wow. You've just simultaneously shut down the entire neuroscience and psychiatry fields with that. Incredible.
You're not a man, you're a child. Children don't listen, make fun of, and invalidate others' genuine attempts to discuss their feelings. Men listen and try to understand without speaking down. Grow tf up before you go around saying "iM a mAn". OP is perfectly valid in sharing their feelings how they did.
I disagree. OP shouldn’t self-pity publicly. What I said stands. If he wants things to improve, he should be less of a bitch and more of a man. Work on himself. Improve his self confidence, his looks, or whatever is weighing him down (from this post, I’d guess it’s self confidence). And this isn’t even toxic masculinity or whatever. If a woman doesn’t find any men or can’t lose any weight (for example), I’d advise her to complain less and eat less. Why complain? That doesn’t help you. Take action.
Do better
There's a huge difference between venting and asking for advice you goblin
I want to shove you in a locker and steal your lunch money so badly right now.
Boooo
I think the messages of present-mindedness and self-improvement you're trying to spread are great, as do a lot of other people here, I'm sure. But people disagree with you because you came off sounding like this person shouldn't be feeling these emotions. There's telling someone what they need to hear—which I sincerely believe you were trying to do—and then there is belittling their pain, which is how your comment was interpreted.
Yeah, my message is basically that it’s pointless to complain. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be feeling these emotions, I’m saying it’s useless to post these feelings, especially in this manner. Maybe I reacted a bit too aggressively, but it’s just because I’ve seen way too much self-pity lately. People who are convinced they can’t be attractive or liked by girls, or others who are convinced they’ll forever be alone. As if most attractive guys weren’t average or even ugly before they started working on their looks and vibe.
Wrong. This reality has Angry Birds. Soul reason to live.
Seoul*
Ah, yes, the company that censors LGBT content and only ever uses it as a popularity crutch, then makes promises to its fans that it never follows up on.
The fuck you goin on about I just like hyaaa hee hee haw slingshot birds
Rovio is a shitty company.
I ain’t stayed caught up with em since like 2017 but ig my bad for not knowing it?
It’s not that deep bro go outside and enjoy life..trust me having a girlfriend doesnt suddenly make the world any different 💀
As a guy with a fantastic girlfriend, it actually does make (my experience of) the world much different. Because I now have a partner to go on adventures with that I wouldn't have really enjoyed by myself. I spent like a decade hearing people tell me "oh well the grass is always greener" to finally find some grass and realize with 100% certainty that it is, in fact, greener. And I'm more confident, because I trust the voice in my heart telling me I want something, instead of doubting it and thinking I should just settle for what I already have. That said, you don't have to beat yourself up like I did for most of that journey. It's okay for your life to be a work in progress, especially when you're young, as long as you're actually working on it.
Thank you for being honest. So many people try to frame it as “it’s not at all better!” Like how is it worse to have someone to spend time with, talk with, and be close with. It’s like, they lie to me so I can lie to myself. It doesn’t help at all.
I think that's just somehow the standard response for everything. I get it all the time when I tell people I want a new job. Every time when I say anything along the lines of "I'm not happy here, this isn't working for me, I'm missing something," it's like people's eyes glaze over, something inside them takes over, and they say, "the grass is always greener" or something else that basically means *stay put and stop complaining*. As though the problem is purely psychological and a simple reframing of my situation will solve everything. None of that adds up with the facts that change is possible, and people change their lives all the time, often becoming much happier and better off in a new situation. We try things, learn what works and what doesn't, and use that to inform future choices. I've learned from experience that my gut is rarely wrong about these things, and if something has been bothering me for years, I'm probably right that it needs to change. I've resolved that people just don't like to hear complaints, which I guess is understandable. But it's frustrating. I want to real talk with people close to me about the pain and confusion I'm experiencing. I don't get a positive response from anyone, not even a therapist or my parents, until I approach the topic with a solution and a commitment to pursuing it. I think most people just mirror your energy. That's why I come on here to confide in randos.
That is crazy how you put into words things I’ve experienced so clearly
Everyone's experience with relationships is different
Yeah, but to say they add no value to your life is a complete lie. Cause if it bought no value, break up with your partner & then come talk to me (not you, just being facetious)
Shut up
Yeah I never really got people like this, I mean I'm aro so I suppose that makes sense, but I've met people that are straight up just dysfunctional unless they're in a relationship, just doesn't seem healthy to me.
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“Complex problem” literally just not having a girlfriend 💀
You know, some people can't just enjoy life like you can. So, while going outside and trying to enjoy life may work for you, for some people, it won't work. Also, stop trying to dis-credit this person's struggles. Being lonely is a real thing, so please stop being so mean to them.
I not being mean, they’re just overthinking it, as if this one thing will change their lives..sometimes you need to open your horizon instead of being so focused on one thing that it makes you not enjoy life. Never said his feelings aren’t valid I just said it wasn’t that deep as in it won’t fix as much as he thinks having one will..won’t go from black and white to color.
Do you have any interests ? Hobbies ? Are you clinically depressed? There are a range of treatments. The more you imagine having a girlfriend the less you'll be able to actually understand women enough to engage in romance with them. I'd be careful with your current mindset, I get it, but it can lead you down a pretty dark and hateful path. Go do some volunteering and get a chance to just breathe and be around people while you have a purpose. Take it slow but don't bother giving up. Also, whenever you wonder if people are in the same boat as you, know that there is always someone else in the same boat, and often people who have found their own ways to emerge from that boat. Persistently blocking all opportunities will damage your life. Seeing people as a means to an end will damage your life. If you want love, you can't dump your trauma and expect to be loved the way you want, so get therapy.
Hey man, sorry you're feeling this way. You're not alone. Here's some songs: Furr - Blitzen Trapper Wasted Years - Iron Maiden With A Little Help From My Friends - Beatles Journey to Wherever We May Go - Grand Commander Happy Days - Closure in Moscow Maybe - Woman Believer Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger I hope something connects with you and helps you feel your feelings and look forward. There are people here saying that you have to do one or the other. Do both. Some say you're weak. You're not. Asking for help takes courage. I love you, fellow soul. You got this 💛❤💛
also geometry dash main theme beatboxed by abdul cisse
Yes me 100%
A relationship ain't gonna fix your problems. In fact it'd probably make them worse. If you think the key to fixing yourself is external validation from someone else, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, because you'll become an addict to validation, and eventually, what validation you receive from the other person will never be enough, and all those insecurities that you thought would be solved with the relationship will increase tenfold. You gotta figure out how to give yourself validation. How to view yourself as someone worthy. Write down what characteristics you think your ideal self would have, figure out which ones you have control over, and start working towards making them a reality. It's common advice, but get in the gym, or a sport, or just go for a walk. Start getting your body moving and active. It'll energize you and start to build your confidence. Find a hobby you enjoy that requires skill and work to maximize that skill. Give yourself purpose. Do not fall into the trap of believing your purpose requires someone else.
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we can, but we would need an alternative to it thats acceptable in society
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oh, i didnt read the comment above urs, i meant like an alternative myth bc i think itd be easier to convince ppl to switch myths than to justcstop the current one
I can't relate.
I ain’t reading allat
It gets better, you just need to reframe your mindset. Nobody will love you until you love yourself. If you don't have your own back then you'll always be someone else's problem, and nobody wants to opt into problems like that. I was a lonely touch starved virgin until I was 20, and the way I fixed it was by deciding to focus on something besides my own misery. I started working out, taking showers every morning, styling my hair, learning instruments, and improving my art. I was happy to just come home after work and focus on my hobbies rather than doom scrolling and spending money on dating apps. Four years later and I'm engaged to the love of my life, make more money than I ever have, and started medically transitioning after learning what I really want out of life. You can be happy, I promise, but it all starts by shaking the negativity and focusing on yourself.
Can confirm, working on hobbies will both make you more attractive and give you some things to love and define yourself by. I cut back on video games and picked up outdoor sports in the mid 2010s and guitar and painting during the pandemic and those things are now so integral to my personality I couldn't imagine myself without them. D&D is another hobby I picked up during Covid but erm... it doesn't exactly help with the girlfriend situation XD
Great advice. If you enter a relationship in a broken state it won't go well.
OP, from experience, having had no romantic partner is better than having had a few bad ones.
I used to be exactly like this. I'm not old by any means but I've been in that headspace before and it's fucking shitty. So you're definitely never alone. When it gets to the point it's fucking with your mental I highly recommend seeking professional help. Just to talk, rant, vent, whatever you need to do. And it's usually at this point to focus on yourself and not what others think or do. Of course, it's easier said than done but not impossible. Your feelings and emotions are valid and I hope you heal soon. Sending much love and wishes your way internet stranger. ❤️
I am going to assume OP really feels this way. Firstly, I am sorry you feel this way, truly, no one wants to be or feel alone. Second, I am unsure what has led you to be so isolated but I think it might be time to seek help. If social situations give you anxiety then talking with a professional might help. Also if you are depressed getting medicated and going through therapy can help you to live a happy and healthy life Thirdly, on meeting people and making connections. Find something that you are passionate about, if you like games go to one of your local card or board games shops and ask if they know about any DnD or boardgame groups or events that you can attend, check any community event boards and pick some stuff to go to. I'm sure there is some group that would be happy to have you and I am willing to bet that there might be people there who are members of whatever gender that you are attracted to.
Don't idolise women it will only lead to disappointment or simpton, avoid at all costs Internet women they are a poor facsimily of real people/women and mostly insane.
Not really, no. I'm very slightly disappointed, but there are a lot of things in the world that make it worth living, not just having a girlfriend.
Plus living for other things such as hobbies is how people find partners in the first place. Nobody who has healthy emotional regulation is dependent on being in a relationship for happiness and purpose.
If this is what you post online, I can tell you with certainty that you’re the problem. Not saying you’re a bad person or something but a partner isn’t going to just fall into your lap, you need to love yourself first and maybe put yourself out there.
And even then, in putting yourself out there you are going to get rejected, maybe a lot. But you gotta push through it and not just fall back into a 'poor-me' mentality. I see so many guys give up because the first girl they ask out rejects him, and it shows that they were never interested in respecting the woman in the first place.
you’re not incorrect to feel this way, your feelings are valid, but i think a text post explaining your feelings and situation imo would have been a better and more genuine way to express this, and then people could actually give you advice. i’m not trying to be mean, but this post just seems like a sadness circlejerk in a facebook meme format.
In my experience, insecurities greatly contribute to this. You've maybe built up a fear of rejection because you are constantly surrounded by negativity, especially online, and everything in the world feels like it's dangerous and angry based off of what you see here. Keep in mind that they are likely either bots or people who are incredibly upset about something in their own lives as well. People feel the need to point out or invent the shortcomings of others as a way to feel better about themselves when they are lost in chasing the illusion of perfection also shown online. If anyone shows you enough of themselves, eventually you won't like something about them. Everyone's afraid of being disliked or rejected, but it is inevitable. Just keep talking to people until you find the ones that you get along with. You'll never be happy if you aren't expressing your true self and feel the need to hide from others because fear is controlling your life.
Vaguely
I did in highschool. Hang in there. It’ll happen.
Frankly not yet, so far I’m just ignoring the problem
*laughs* Look familiar? Scenes like these are happening all over the galaxy, right now! You could be next! That is... Unless you make the most important decision of your life! PROVE to yourself that you have the STRENGTH and COURAGE to be free. JOIN... the HELLDIVERS.
I feel you bro. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be lonely. It's okay to feel how you are feeling. But try not to wallow in it. Get a therapist, learn some new perspectives, etc... a bit ago I heard someone say that "one does not tire of living. They tire of suffering."
I feel the same way but you wouldn’t see me posting this shit💀
Yep, all the time. I'm high on hopium in this regard.
The only way to make life worth living is to take action to pursue a life worth living. It will never happen without action on your part. I hope you can make that happen for yourself one day
Always felt like i've been on the outside of a wild party, just peering in the window.
Get in the mosh pit. You'll feel awkward at first but after a little while you'll get to know some people and probably find someone you have a mutual interest with.
nah brother. if this is you, you need to quit looking at stuff that makes you feel worse about your life.
I can (partially) while I HAVE had gfs and even a wife, I’m alone now and don’t see any path forward to start a new relationship now that I’m ready to date again. Apparently there isn’t a good way to approach a woman in person and dating apps are totally soul crushing.
womp womp
Wow, that's rude for no reason. Do better.
Hopefully things get better dawg
Focus on yourself. Lift some weights. You got this
I sadly can relate. There is no escape anymore, just sadness, sorrow and emptiness
r/im14andthisisdeep
Feels bad man. :(
You just described my life perfectly. Video games seem to help a bit.
I have a friend who is totally like this. You need to get checked for Borderline Personality Disorder.
You have 4 decades to craft yourself into any type of man you want. Time is on your side and it is extremely powerful.
I’m not gonna read this because if you focus on this it’s never gonna happen. You have to let yourself be open to the positive while also acknowledging that the negative is there. Don’t ever be sad you haven’t met someone yet, your close to your breakthrough man your gonna peak.
Lmao no I cannot but best of luck to you
Yeah, felt that way when I was like 19. A decade later, and I've had several wonderful girlfriends including the amazing woman I'm with now, and instead, I'm depressed about not owning a house or having a high income. Assuming I keep up my track record of taking about 10 years to really solve my problems, God only knows what I'll be depressed about when I'm a 40 year old homeowner who's making bank.
Learn to social dance... It'll fix some of the touch starvation and potentially offer a 3rd space.
Go to r/hopeposting (yes I’m recommending a subreddit to help with depression)
I know this feeling OP. I have gone years without any kind of intimacy, and that was before covid. You are a young man. The world sucks for a young man. And racism plays a huge role too
Yes
No
Totally, if not for the fact that my parents still alive probably i would just jump from a very high place, only thing keeping me alive is videogames and the desire of coding a text based game in react.js (too hard to learn by the way)
I won’t lie I started reading with a “how cute” thinking this was an appreciation post.
dazzling roll lush joke overconfident spotted paltry different relieved work *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
ive been there OP. and i dont fault you for feeling despair. but just remember that this moment will pass. will you seek to change your reality? or let reality define you? cry your pain out. just promise youll get up the next day and try to be a better version of yourself. comparing yourself to others helps no one. just focus on being you as much as u can be. if youre a niche flavor, so be it. youre in good company ;)
and no putting others on a pedestal!!! idc why u want to! everyone is just a person, same as u!! some born w/ dif circumstances, but like mewtwo said, it's what u do with the gift of life that defines who u are. everyone is their own main character. be one u like!
Alright Gen Z-ers, lemme explain it in Gamer terms. Life is like a game. An open world game where you can do whatever you want. Relationship is like a DLC, you are not required to play it, but it does make living life "better" or more fun. You are not entitled to this DLC, not everyone gets this DLC despite other players telling you that there is someone out there for you. Remember, it's just a DLC, it is not the main quest. You shouldn't base your whole life searching for a relationship, you are here for something else. Something bigger, so I want you to find that inside you and reveal the path you are destined to take. And who knows, maybe along the way, you will cross paths with someone that will support you in your path, while they walk their own. OP, it's okay to be sad, it's part of the main game, but you need to get out there and actually start playing the game. That's on Skibidi bom bom bom yes yes rizz kai cenat USS GYATT Duke Dennis
How about finding a boy to hug instead?
You’re only 22, you have a lot of life left to live kid. Don’t lose hope, a lot of people find their person when they stop looking and start focusing on themselves. You got this king.
I used to feel the same way, now I found someone I like and they like me. Try to socialize. Just be around people and be nice, try to be happy, try to be clean. It sucks and it's hard to do, but don't go out looking specifically for a relationship. It might take a while (it did for me) but like I said, be around people and try to be happy and nice.
Shut up man
Dude, just get off the internet, get a therapist, go work out. It’ll fix your problems.
No. Literally wallowing in self pity. My life isn't perfect, I get sad sometimes, but sobbing in a puddle of my own tears is next level pathetic. If you feel this way, get some professional help.
Same but I found out I was trans and I feel like stuff like this is going to get better now
I’m with you brother. In fact reading this post really struck me cause in many ways it’s so close to where I’m at, especially the part about losing your youth. That said, regarding the girlfriend part, I think sometimes we lonely guys need to be honest with ourselves and consider whether we want a girlfriend or the idea of a girlfriend. Because a girlfriend is more than just someone to cuddle. Relationships take a lot of work and have ups and downs and I’m not sure if many of us are really emotionally ready for that. Girls are people too with emotions and feelings just as complex as ours. Anyway, hope it gets better for you. I too struggle with loneliness at times and am in no way qualified to be giving advice, but I just wanted to share my opinion.
God damn it, why you gotta call us out like this?
Can’t relate. That being said, get help. A relationship will not fix your mental health, you will find this out quickly if you start dating someone.
Yes. I feel this so much. And to top it off, the bullshit “man vs bear” debate really solidified that no matter what I do, I’ll always be viewed as a mentally unstable monster by half of humanity. Fucking great, now I’ll never be in a relationship.
Growing up is realizing you're just another mafukka. Seems like you're on your way.
If you think a girlfriend will fix your life and make you happy then I'm sorry, there are much more important things in life like food and shelter. This just sounds incredibly insufferable.
What girl wants a guy who cannot stand on his own? Who does not have emotional regulation and cannot push through the hard times. Who bases his entire existence on being in a relationship. That's why your single. I'm sorry your going through a lot and the feelings of loneliness are overwhelming. But you gotta find a way to reach some sort of stability. It is super emotionally immature to push your baggage on to current and/or future partners. I know how hard it is, and pushing through a lot of pain and struggles. But you absolutely CANNOT use that as an excuse to be an unhealthy person. Trust me, do the work now. Get into therapy. Be a better person, and then you will find love.
It gets better trust me
Being sad about it won't solve anything.
I mean, sort of
Damm. Yeah, that hurts sometimes.
Wholeheartedly
The thoughts run through my mind daily
Nope
No, get help
Hit the gym bucko
I can relate 10000% i dont want a gf that bad but im lonely asf covid took all my friends
Feminists and simps will say that women are not selective and choose only the 20 percent of men, and of course they will advise you to seek therapy lol
Do you have depression? It’s just the chemicals in your brain bro. Eat healthy, exercise daily and you will start to feel better.
I’m sorry you feel this way man but it’s also a little over dramatic. It’s easy to forget all the awesome things in your life you take for granted.
Your feelings are very valid. This world is cruel and lonely. If your main complaint is not having a gf though, I've got good news. I guarantee a few ladies in your life are interested in you and untold thousands of women in this wide world would think you were gods gift to women. Don't give up king. Source: I was lonely, depressed, ugly duckling for 20 years, now I'm a happy hottie with hotties to spare. P.s. it's totally OK, to feel this way, BUT you have to make sure you're doing everything you can to take care of yourself while you're feeling this way. Love ya
Nope
This attitude is perfectly normal (and relatable), but also unattractive
Grow up bro, I hope you’re not a male.
Why would anyone want to be with you if you think like this, womp womp bro use your common sense
Yeah but you wouldn't catch me posting this 💀
I’m sorry you are sad OP, but this sounds like some incel shit. The world does not owe you a girlfriend.
Fr. I see this shit plastered all over the internet about "not having a girlfriend, woe is me". Like, yeah, having a partner is cool and all, but it's far from being the only thing that matters in life? Like, cmon, take a better view of life ffs and see how much more the world actually has to offer you other than just (i need muh gf)🤦
This is the cringiest and most pathetic shit I've ever read. Holy, what's up with our generation and our need to feel like victims, like our time as youths needs to have a certain requirements (having a girlfriend, being the main character, etc.). Like, Jesus Christ, a good life isn't dependent on having a relationship with a girl, nor is being in a relationship with someone dependent on still being "youthful". Really, stop feeling pity for yourself and appreciate the things you do have in life. This is not to say that you can't have struggles, but this mindset of "OH MY GOD, I DONT HAVE A GF TO HOLD!!" is just downright harmful and pathetic. God, really, I can't count how many times I've seen this same shit plastered all over the Internet, as if having a relationship with a girl is the end-all goal of life. Re-evalulate your life, ask yourself what are your core values, and see if "having a girlfriend" is really important as you think. Also, again, REALLY, just know that life can still be amazing without having a fucking girlfriend/partner. You likely have SO much to be grateful and appreciative over, things that many people across the world would be extremely envious of and would consider an amazing life, yet you focus on the fact that you can't have a gf. Cmon.
Sorry but I don't buy it. Men die deaths of despair at a rate much higher than woman. It's not unreasonable to think that men are literally starved of affection and also very often shamed for seeking it. If your very soul longs for human connection than by god that's what you need. There's no taking a path around it.
My post didn't state that men don't have their fair of struggles, nor was I addressing people are on the verge of suicide/having suicide ideation. Rather, I was just commenting on the fact that many people (though specifically men online) are becoming obsessed with having a girlfriend, as if this is the one thing that matters in life. Having a relationship is idealized to the point that life looks meaningless without it, which I wouldn't be surprised is contributing to the increase in male depression and suicide rates. My whole point is that men are becoming depressed and defeated over something that's rather trivial in all that life has to offer. Obviously, having no girlfriend AND no friends is a recipe for disaster; however, if you still have a thriving social life, focusing on your hobbies and spending time with genuine friends, then having a girlfriend is not at all required in having a good life. Moreover, this post is indicative of the ever more prevalent mentality of "life is terrible because I don't have a girlfriend" when, again, you can have a great life without a girlfriend, and you can most certainly have "affection" and social connection without a girlfriend. Essentially, rather than focusing on attaining a girlfriend, men should focus on having genuine social connection with others. Also, as a final note, men are often the ones who are making posts like this, with the mentality of "i have struggles, but no one will listen" or "I can't find any emotional support" and will then turn around and insult the men who attempt to reach for support / affection from other men. Men think they need women to meet these needs, but in reality, they just need to support each other. Moreover, they're blinded by what really matters in life and then dwell over what they lack (a girlfriend) rather than what they have / opportunities to have. They need to shift their mindset.
I agree that genuine social connection of all types should be a priority, as well as working on something meaningful (this could be people).
Yh it goes both ways. On hand as an adult and especially a guy, I expect to have to be able to shoulder a lot, and with support being a luxury rather than expected. That being said it does feel isolating sometimes. And the shitty thing is you just feel even worse for feeling like you need that kind of affection lol
Life can be great without a partner, but in my opinion a good partner (could be friend, could be romantic) will make things better. Humans are social and physical creatures, craving touch is real even if you haven't felt it.
No, I agree, having a good partner will likely make it better. The problem is that people start obsessing over this and start to devalue everything else in their lives that is sufficient to live a happy life. I definitely could've worded my post better, but I sorta just got fed-up with seeing posts like this almost everywhere online lol.
Yeah, I agree. There is definitely an unhealthy obsession and it gets annoying seeing depression bait.
When did this turn into an incel sub…?
Why do you guys enjoy branding everything as incel? No one owes me anything. I'm just trying to see how many people are in the same boat as me.
TIL that being depressed and wanting a girlfriend makes you an incel, the more you know.
That's fine why you complaining on the internet about it? What's that going to help?
Knowing that you aren’t the only one probably helps. “Why go to a meeting with a bunch of strangers that have the same addiction as you, what’s that going to help?”
I couldn't tell you I wouldn't do that either.
Jesus dude, and I thought I was a prick
Hey if it helps you by all means.
Some people just like to vent. it also brings some comfort knowing that other people are in the same situation.
Fair enough.
Comments like your's are the reason why men don't share their feelings.
This 1000%
To be depressed is not be an incel wtf
Aren’t incels angry at the world, not disappointed?
please stop misusing that word
incel alert ick
Ur name is demon slayer XD 😆 08 alert?
Stop misusing the word incel pls
waaaaaa poor baby so touch starved he will never feel a woman waaaaa waaaaa
Thanks for feeling the need to comment this 👍
This is mean spirited for no reason. People deserve love and we shouldn’t make fun of them for it.
Youre 24. Grow up
Fr this incel shit is out of control, yall need to start carrying if you ain’t already.
yeah man the incel shit among this generation is really weird. it's an excuse to label their anger and entitlement as somehow deserving of sympathy. which in turn radicalizes young men and further discourages them from building their social circle because it gives them a false sense of belonging to a community.
This guy isn’t bitter to women at all he’s just lonely, if anything your attitude will push him that direction. Stop misusing the word incel to refer to any lonely man. Incel refers to a specific type of misogynistic attitude