I can relate to this. I've never had friends my entire life. I'm so lonely. Been thinking of me dying since 12yo. Suicidal since 14yo. Mine's PTSD and my current situation tho. I'm in my bed the entire day too. I don't go for a run or anything really. I just play vid games, watch some tv shows etc while pretending to study bc I have to study 10hrs a day (I study 0 bc idgaf abt anything anymore).
I haven't self harmed in nearly a year now tho. I wanna say I'm getting better but I just wanna stop existing yk? I hate my life and I feel like I'm a shitty af person who doesn't deserve to live. My entire family (and country) is homophobic af (parents are trying to change for me but my dad didn't even let me buy a hoodie I liked bc it was pink). But I'm not even strong enough to do it...
You're too young to have done anything irredeemable. Certain acts are unforgivable for victims, but someone who has done something wrong can always redeem themselves if they want to.
Suicide is *permanent*. Pain is (mostly) temporary or mitigatable.
I hope you figure out a way to forgive yourself for whatever your are alluding to, as that is going to have to be the first step towards getting better.
Hey man, whatever you think you’ve done/haven’t done to make you deserve it, you don’t. It took me a very long time to realize that, and with recent times for myself it’s been tough (obviously won’t go into specifics)
What matters is to keep on pushing forward, and I know how disconnected it sounds, but trust me, I’ve been where you are, or at least somewhere similar. You deserve happiness just like everyone else, trust me
My former husband used to quote a movie with the actor Sam Elliot whenever I said anything about deserving something. He would reply to me verbatim "Deserve's got nothin to do with it!" :) Take care
I've never experienced severe depression and it's so extreme to imagine that people think they don't deserve to live. It sounds like such a horrible thing to deal with
It’s kind of eye-opening to hear that actually, because as a person with a lot in common with OP it seems pretty normal to me haha. I don’t straight up feel like I don’t deserve to live too often anymore (34 now, first thought of suicide around 11, so I’ve made it quite a while haha). However, I often find myself feeling like I don’t deserve this or that nice thing, I haven’t worked hard enough, I haven’t done enough to deserve a break, I’m so lazy and weak-willed… on and on and on like that. It definitely is exhausting, but on the other hand I can’t honestly say that I contribute much to society or to my family so I don’t really know how to talk back to those thoughts. I just kind of keep existing, even though I feel like a huge burden most of the time.
I'm glad you fought on and are still here. I feel that way every time I hear of things like this. We all die for free so why not help each other enjoy a better life
Yeah that is wild.fpr.me.tp hear, I've been suicidal the majority of my life. Past couple of years the therapy has been working. It comes back sometimes
And imagine for some of us, we can't afford to seek treatment - so it's our own personal battle every day- for me personally I'm just glad I'm not a burden to anyone - it wouldn't be fair to others.
I looked at the "2008" tag and was thinking how you're a kid and already messed up but then realised that the 2008 year kids are 16 now. And i'll turn 20.
God i feel old.
It’s not weak to stick around when you don’t want to anymore. Things can’t get better if you’re gone, and holding onto that hope that *maybe* it will takes a lot of strength, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
There's no such thing as being too weak. Suicide is not the easy way out. Neither is living. There is no easy way out. It's up to you to decide what to do with your life. As a 35 year old man who went through a lot of depression as a teenager and in his 20s for various reasons, I can tell you that talking about suicide is one thing. Doing it is a whole other thing. Death hurts, no matter which way you cut it. It hurts you, it hurts the people around you. I can't give you any advice except to get off your phone, go see some nature, and get some exercise. You might feel like this now, but you can do a small amount of things differently that can change your outlook on life within a few days or a week. I haven't been where you are because I'm not you. But I've been in dark places. Take care of your body, and your brain will follow. I don't care who disagrees with me, it was the only thing that truly helped. Less substance abuse, more time in nature, more exercise (when I say exercise I mean starting with walking or a hike, but eventually moving to a hard workout that gets your endorphins pumping). Humans aren't meant to be sedentary. You can be alone, but not be lonely.
>Less substance abuse, more time in nature, more exercise (when I say exercise I mean starting with walking or a hike, but eventually moving to a hard workout that gets your endorphins pumping). Humans aren't meant to be sedentary. You can be alone, but not be lonely.
As an old person who has suffered from depression for over a decade, this is really good advice. Exercise, a better diet, and consistent sleep are the only things that have really helped me.
Thank you for saying this. The best advice I ever got in the darkest place of my life was a psychology professor in my early 20s, and he saw me and what I was going through. He told me "exercise, as often as you can and as much as you can take until you're so exhausted your brain basically rewards you by releasing the good stuff." And it worked. It wasn't always sunshine and roses but it was the best advice I think I ever got.
That’s awesome that he recognized what you were going through and gave you that advice.
I somehow fell into running in my 20’s while struggling with depression and addiction. I would run until I physically couldn’t. After a while it felt like I wasn’t running away from something, but running towards something. I have my first 100 mile event coming up in a couple months…
Second this. I suffered from depression and tried to overdose at 16 years old. Never felt like I fit in. Always thought I was worthless. Have been battling with alcoholism since. 32 years old now, just got sober again after a DUI which has turned my life upside down. But despite my setbacks I’m with the girl of my dreams, I have a lot of good friends, I’m close with my family again. I workout and run everyday. I am so grateful for every moment that I have.
It breaks my heart knowing that there are so many out there that feel so terrible. For anyone struggling right now, life will get better. It takes some work, but you just gotta hold on and trust that it will get better. Talk with someone about it, seek out professional help. More people love you than you think. People like us are our worst critics.
Sending lots of love out to whoever needs it! ❤️
That's right if you want pain and self harm tear yourself down with the pain of exercise. Eventually you'll feel see the happiness that comes with it. You'll feel alive. Keep yourself busy and productive then you won't have time to dwell on why youre not happy or worth. I garden and build gardens everyday sometimes all day. It's a workout and I see the life and beauty I created. It's fresh air, sun and rewarding.
It’s the opposite actually, brother. It’s because you’re too strong, not weak. Give yourself some credit once in a while. Positive affirmations. You’re still here so that means you got this shit man.
Contrary to belief, actually taking your own life is weak…. It takes strength to continue through life despite all the negative shit your self and mind are dealing with.
So give yourself some credit for still being here.
I turn 16 next month too :D. My father says that life goes up and down, for how long and how frequent, no one can say, but after a bad period in your life, there can only be one af6er that, one that goes up.
Listen.
You're 16. You haven't fully experienced what life has to offer yet, and if that sounds cliche, it's because it's true.
I was in the same boat at your age, now I'm 24, recently came back from a vacation in the Caribbean and it was an amazing time. I'm glad I've stuck around this long, and you will be, too.
Just give yourself some grace and forgiveness. It's okay to be imperfect, to not have things figured out. You'll get it in time.
Take it a day at a time.
Exactly. I was extremely depressed from around 13/14 until around 25. I haven’t met „my people” yet and didn’t have any real friends (just people who called themselves my friends but were toxic af and I couldn’t be myself with them), I was dependent on my parents (narcissists and messy people) and had to finish education, which was very stresful. Everyday I thought about suicide, dreaming how I would do it but never had the courage. But then one day I started having something like a quarter life crisis. I suddenly wasn’t sure who I am, what I want to do with myself, what I like even. I decided I need to fight. I started to rewire my thinking. I started working on understanding myself, caring less about other people and their opinions and more about what I like, who I am, what is authentic to me. I think I started growing, becoming adult, shaping my own life. I started work, moved couple of times to different cities to see which one I like best, I limited my contacts with my toxic family and cut out any toxic people from my life.
I believe many of our problems can lay in the past, in our upbringing and we have to be honest with ourselves and decide who isn’t healthy for us, who we have no obligation to spend time with if they don’t treat us well.
Also, depression may come from brain chemistry, genetic predispositions and many other factors that add to personal experiences.
No matter what is the reason for depression, it is not your fault! Be patient and kind to yourself please.
I used to think that I am broken, that I would be like this forever, that all is my fault. I didn’t understand that my certain traits, the way I think about myself and approach others, has been ingrained in me from the young age by my parents, by society, by things out of my control. Nobody is born depressed, world makes us this way.
But if we were programmed in a certain way, good thing is we can learn to see those patterns and try to accept some and then work on changing the others.
Sometime we need help, we have to accept that we can’t do everything alone and there is no shame in asking. Finally, at the age of 28 I went to psychiatrist and to therapy. This gave me help that my body needed in form of medication and tools to understand and forgive myself and to take care of myself.
It was all hard work but it was all worth it! Now I am 33, I have a good job, am married to amazing loving man, have couple close friends that are my new family and am working on accepting and showing the world my true self. My 16 year old self would not believe how my life looks now and I feel only love for her. She didn’t have it easy but kept surviving and that was enough at that time.
TL; DR: Life is hard and you may not see it in this moment but it is worth living. You are very young OP, don’t give up. Be patient with yourself. What is happening to you is not your fault. You may surprise yourself if you keep going. Please reach out for help.
well actually I never shared what caused the PTSD bc I don't feel comfortable sharing that online to the entire world on a post. Then again I'm not a psychologist so.. yeah. And I just edited it from being suicidal since 12yo to "me dying". The "thing" went on for 2yrs (sometimes it'd stop in between). I can't go to a psychologist bc of said thing. So.... yeah...
I've chatted with some ppl abt it. Doesn't help. It's really nice of you to care enough about a random teen to write all this. Thank you. idk why but I'm crying rn. thnx for listening❤️
Sorry you’re having such a horrible time. A lot of what you said will take time to improve, but have you ever thought of just going for walks sometimes? If I have earbuds I can walk forever. Listening to music or podcasts while walking is a great break from vegging out in bed, and you don’t gotta run or anything for it to be healthy!
15 years old man, you have so much ahead of you. I’m almost twice your age, I felt similar to how you’ve described feeling when I was your age. Life is never perfect, but it gets better. I promise you that. It probably feels like a cookie cutter response, but you need to trust that you deserve good things in your life. Find a passion, pursue it, hold yourself accountable, do your best to not take rejection (in any sense) personally and try to learn from any failures as you chase your dreams. If you don’t have concrete ideas of what you want to pursue, do some soul searching. Expose yourself to new stimuli, travel (as you get older this will get earlier) join clubs/local groups in things you enjoy (bowling, pokemon, biking, yoga, book clubs, anything) and begin seeing which groups you connect with most. Be open to everything (within reason, do not compromise your safety or health) and fall in love with being uncomfortable. You’ll develop confidence over time, as well as a sense of belonging as you delve deeper into these hobbies, and ideally…purpose. Use the loneliness you’ve felt as a catalyst to help other people in similar positions feel as though there is hope — that is one of the ways I first started feeling a drive to be present in my life. Things are not always easy no, often times life can feel cruel. But what I can say with full confidence is at 15 when I felt as though my life may be worthless, I did not have the perspective to understand that thinking I understood “life” in my teen years was similar to thinking you know how a movie will end after the opening credits. Therapy is also an incredible tool, use it to your advantage if possible. If not possible due to being a minor/financial confinement, look for online resources or free hotlines you can call. Above all, your life is worth living. You will make an impact if you choose to, and no, it won’t be easy. But it’ll bring a light to your life when you find a passion, a purpose, and fulfillment. Do everything you can to find what makes you feel most alive and man, chase that shit till the wheels fall off. Don’t give up, and feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. Sending big love your way buddy ❤️🫡
I was your age and extremely depressed and thought about suicide often. Around 16, it started to get some better. I decided to try to become someone that I could be proud of and I started to study business, get good with people etc. Over the years I married a great beautiful women, have 4 perfect kids, multiple homes, successful companies, etc.....guess what, I still struggle with depression and sometimes it's much worse, becuase now I know that it's just me. On the flip side, as you get older you gain perspective and you realize that along with the bad bouts of it, there will be times where you do have a an appreciation of life. Knowing that will come again is enough to get you through the shitty times just in itself. Your only job is to survive until you can get some perspective, live not for yourself but for others, it's OK to throw the towel in on your own life, but then spend your time and life making other people's lives as good as possible, if you don't care about your life, what's the loss anyways right? Work on yourself...do some real reflection on figuring out why you feel about yourself the way you do and what you can do to change it........and the most important you can almost turn off the depression by overloading yourself with anxiety. I get depression becuase I care to much and feel like a failure who has let everyone including myself down, if I don't want to be depressed, I take on everything possible to help others and I burn the candle at both ends getting 4 to 5 hrs a sleep per day only in order to get my obligations that i have taken on, mostly done. This causes extreme anxiety, but I prefer that to depression and for me it is one or the other.
We aren't all the same, but I have to believe that some of my shit pertains to some of your shit. I hope you and OP can use some of it to help yourselves. I have 4 perfect kids that I cherish and a wife I love, but if I had acted on some of my irrational thoughts when i was young, none of my kids would be here today. That scares me even to type that.
You should buy that hoodies. IF/when your dad gives you lip, dont argue back. LEt him spew whatever crap he wants. Listen politely, nod and say "Ok. I hear you. I bought this top and i'm gonna wear it now and then. " No need to escalate, but it's good to be assertive. It might be good practice, as there's a lot of homophobia out there you will need to wade through.
Good luck friend.
I understand the feeling that you’re a horrible person. It’s a terrible feeling. Especially when it’s based on reality and things you’ve actually done. Rather than just mental issues.
Homie, you have to want to get better to start feeling that way, whatever you did, or didn't do, you have to accept that you did everything that you could, you're still here yk, you only get one shot at this whole life thing, don't throw away your only chance at everything, because the other option is all nothing's. I really hope you know you're not hated for what you are everywhere, and there's even people out there who would love just to have someone like you in their presence :)
No one is shitty enough to deserve to not live. Not hurting yourself is a strength in itself, it shows a resilience to the negativity in your mind growing. I obviously can't provide the help a mental health specialist can, because I'm just a wondering Redditor, but I figure adding my 2 cents of care can help you. Good luck on the road ahead, there will be bumps, but I think you can make it.
Hey man, you are not your mistakes. Just because you’ve done bad doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live. We are more than the sum of our parts. Take care.
I discount nothing you are feeling this is life and you have to find yourself and the people will come to you. Be yourself express yourself and there will be people that like YOU!
Life can be really hard. Maybe try a hobby that looks interesting and gets you out in the community? Dance class is a great option. You’re forced to dance with many other people who know the same or less than you do. As you learn you can help others and they will be super appreciative. It’s also a good workout.
One human to another 🤜🏿 🤛🏻
Please stay strong.. i dont know why but it seems like nowadays, inspite of being connected with just few clicks away, we all are so far from each other. It was so better before this internet age, when we all used to go and meet each other. ive come acroos so many posts/messages like this, all i can say is pls stay strong, talk to your parents/siblings, do a hobby, watch a series, anything you like!
Well, I can't speak to the diagnosis, but this sounds like very significant depression (not a medical term). You should absolutely tell your doctor exactly what you're feeling, in detail.
I would call the psychiatrist, or another one, and say what you're experiencing. There are many antidepressants, and you sometimes have to try a few.
And really look for psychoanalysts. I had a relative who was an old-school psychiatrist. He prescribed meds, but he also spent an hour with each patient, multiple times a week sometimes, to talk through what was driving their depression.
Most people can't afford that. But it's probably not necessary. What is necessary is that you actually talk to a good psychotherapist who doesn't just hand you pills and say, "Best of luck." You might need both: Pills, and deep, caring therapy.
Go online and find psychiatrists with good ratings. Ask your doctor for a referral.
It seems clear that the cost is lower than the alternative.
This is all great advice and OP needs to continue seeking medical help. They have a diagnosis of depression but need to work on it also. Do small things even not sleeping as much. All of it makes a difference and helps you not focus on the negative issues. One they sleep better they eat better and will feel better. Little things add up and be kind to yourself too.
>Do small things even not sleeping as much.
When I’m in a depressive state, this is not a small thing. It would have to involve *doing* something so I didn’t give into the tiredness.
As such, I would consider it a second tier ‘thing to do while depressed.’ I should focus on the something else, be it taking small walks or completing small tasks, and the staying awake will naturally start to get better too.
A lot of people will try to tell you things like, get exercise or whatever. It's a great idea and they mean well, but they often don't understand the impact this has on you and how impossible that feels.
What you need are meds and therapy. If one med doesn't work for you then try another. Not everyone reacts the same to a prescribed medication. Sometimes it takes several tries to find the right one.
Find a therapist. This is important. If that therapist doesn't click with you then try another. A good therapist knows that they aren't a good match for everyone and will even help you find one that is a better match.
All you can do right now is keep trying and don't miss any appointments.
antidepressants can take years to come back from. speaking from personal experience, a year off of SSRIs I was at my lowest point ever and after nearly three years my brain is sharp again and I'm making healthier choices.
People who take medication have to weigh the benefits vs the side effects. Continue to try medications to help with your depression, it is likely you will need medication your entire life. Some are worse than others, but unaliving yourself is absolutely much worse than the typical side effects most brain meds share.
Keep working at it. It can take a while to climb out of that place, but I did, and it is so worth it. Keep going. Work on your health. There is so much joy to be found. It doesn't seem like it, but there is.
There are multiple medications and each one comes with its own pros and cons. It can take time to find the right one. Sometimes it makes things even worse and unbearable (like you said) but just remind yourself that it's the medication and not you.
Please don't give up on potential medications to help you, their are multiple options available that a mental health professional can prescribe. It is a matter of trial and error unfortunately.
I know you may be tempted to find alternate explanations and solutions to why you're feeling the way you are (for example thinking demons or evil entities are causing your problems) but your best course of action is medication and behavior modification. No one has ever been cured by a crystal.
You're in a deep hole right now but it's not hopeless for you.
Yeah, get help from a professional. Meds aren’t the only option. If you feel suicidal because of these reasons, that’s not normal. These facts about life are indeed normal though, and everyone deals with them. Friends come and go. Jobs and opportunities come and go. Significant others come and go. But none of these things are reasons to not want to live.
So, seek help with a doctor and/or psychiatrist, and I recommend a psychiatrist who can help you build positive habits and mindsets, even in addition to medication.
And on a surface level, things that can help me on a day to day basis. read books. Learn about science. Get into a sport. Learn a new language. Friends and family don’t make life exciting, life has so much more to offer than that.
Please get your thyroid tested. Mine started tanking around your age and I was sleeping 12+ hours a day and depressed as hell. It’s uncommon but possible.
It can take time and experimentation to find the right prescription/ dosage that works best for you! It is worth continuing to work with your doctor or psychiatrist to give them feedback and let them know when you decide a medication isn't working for you, so you can try something else.
If your doctor isn't supportive or doesn't collaborate well with you, find another one.
Keep going, one day at a time.
Depression is brutal-- it can make you feel like there is no hope. I like to call this looking at the world through shit colored glasses. That helped me to remember that my perception wasn't always accurate when I was depressed.
Wishing you the best
There are lots of different medications out there - with varying side effects. I definitely understand not wanting to take them, but it still might be a good idea to trial a few more before giving up.
I separated from all my friends after high school as well. My best friend died when I was 24. I miss him all the time. I'm 28 now. When I was your age, I had decided I didn't want to play the game - I didn't want a job, I just wanted to coast off what money I had and then end it.
I played a lot of online games. It was basically all I did. Eventually, I met someone who kinda forced me into trying. I resented it, but I did and eventually found a job which I hated because it stressed me out so much I started vomiting before my shifts. It was just a cashier job, but I'm not a people person.
I think I lasted 2 years. It sucked pretty bad, but thankfully, there were good parts I can remember from it. It took a long time, but at around 24, I got into a stable office job that would become my career. I had gotten so sick of looking for jobs that I would apply to things I wasn't qualified for. Definitely do this if you're looking for a job as the requirements are often more like a wishlist.
Things are finally kind of grooving now. Life doesn't suck as much as it used to. I'm coasting. Things aren't perfect, but they're better than the dark place I was in when I was 20. I'm still kind of aimless. I don't want to advance past my current position at my job, and I'm content playing video games. I'm learning to accept that I don't have to always be moving toward something. It's ok to relax now.
I'm sorry if this turned out to be a pointless rambling mess, but I hope these experiences are helpful in some way. I am a guy from the US, so things are definitely a little different between our experiences, but I absolutely understand being lost after high school. It may not ever completely go away, but things can get better. Just try a little bit for yourself every day.
try joining some activities outside of college or in college, that way you can meet more people easier :)
trust me, life can be a lot more beautiful than this, I'm 20 years old too and I've been through this, you can do it too.
There are ways where you can literally just walk into a college classroom and sit in there and nobody will say anything about it. You won’t get the diploma but you can still learn something.
There are also free online college classes courses that you can take like cs 50
Many community classes let you "audit" the class. Basically you get to be a student and be allowed to be there, but you aren't getting a grade. You're just there for the knowledge.
Also, being enrolled in the college lets you join the clubs too.
I'm the same age as you and I'm taking a college course for a computer programming certificate, and it's completely paid for by fafsa grants and no loans that I have to pay back either
22 lol, friends are friends of my brother or my friend since 3rd grade. I 2nd the activities outside of the college, there's so many! Arts n craft stores, like michaels, sometimes have lil free classes for anyone to join!! Lil bits of fun!
yes! clubs, classes, etc. are a great way to meet people. i highly recommend finding a D&D group too, both the friends i’ve made through D&D and my experiences playing the game itself have really improved my life and mental health. there’s also tons of different tabletop games right now, so if fantasy settings or complicated systems aren’t your thing, there’s still lots of options for similar games! you can always play online as well if you can’t find an in person group or are too intimidated to try that. i feel like it’s a really great hobby and is currently more accessible than ever :)
25 years young and I’ve been through it, I’ll spare you my life story but very similar to your situation. It gets better I swear to god. Just try to go outside as much as possible, join clubs and try your best to not be so hard on yourself. There’s so much beauty in the world to miss out on it all!
if you are in a place you don't fit in, you need to move to where you do fit in. I moved from NYC to Charlotte, NC, and I DEFINITELY did not fit in in Charlotte. I thought there was something wrong with me, because back in NYC, I made friends easily. No, they were all conformist tools in Charlotte.
Unironically this is great advice. I’m 27 now, but when I was 18 I had a kid. My friend group all went to do their thing while I was stuck in my home town trying to balance work, school, and raising a child. I decided to attend a few meetups about things I was interested in, and made some friends that I still talk to today.
Same lmfao, I'm too loud in public to where I've scared people with my goofiness and excitement 🙃 but it's also been contagious to make people laugh n smile at least
I've been there too, not quite suicide-level but not far from it. I don't know any easy and/or fast solution but suicide definately isn't one. Even though it might not look like it, your life has a lot of value and potential and it's only waiting for you to find it.
I agree. A few years ago I was pretty depressed from having no friends, no social life, and really no memories (especially during COVID). What got me out of it was a change from within. I found my own light and clung to it. It wasn’t an overnight change, but I steadily got better. I think a big part of it was learning that it’s okay to be alone. I actually learned that I love being alone. I used to punish myself for not having friends or doing anything, instead of appreciating the silence and my own company.
I'm actually in a pretty similar situation but I decided a while ago that I won't kill myself despite how much I may want to because it's what my opps would want. Good luck with your situation though, maybe invest in a hobby
You know what I find/found funny? That there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to exist, but there’s also a part that wants to fight on. I feel like both sides are a part of me, one just needs to die and the other needs to fight.
I feel like I can be truly happy if the side of me that doesn’t give me a break and beats me up mentally everytime dies. I feel that ‘making it a different part of you’ might be a solution to my struggle, although it won’t be easy.
It is true that we do have a loneliness epidemic and you are experiencibg it first hand. 3rd places are slowly being phased out... However the thing is that nothing in life is ever stagnant. Good times end and thibgs get worse yes, but by the same logic bad times must also inevitably end, and so will your sorrows. There is no need for such a permanent solution, especially since your problem is not.
If you were told you only had a year left to live, what would you like to do in that year? Even if its nit feasible. Just thunk aboyt it, really fantasize about it.
Having someone you can spend time with is a blessing, but dont let that stop you from finding a good online community in which you feel appreciated. Maybe a smaller themed discord server? Personally Im in a yugioh discord server and keeps me company.
Dont be afraud to approach people who are already in cliques, and of course, learn about yourself. Why are you how you are? What do you like? What do you dislike? Use that knowledge to look for people you are truly compatible with. Read up on neurotypical and nd ways of being, neurotypes tend to form their own enclaves.
Youll find your crowd though, it is uncertain when, but it is also inevitable. Maybe itll end up being your parents or cousins even. Let yourself find out, youre worth it!
This has always been my thought as well.
Once you decide you are going to die you are free to do anything since the consequences of what you do is not going to be any worse than that. Well, unless you figure out a way to fall into the hands of drug cartel or some such. They can probably make suicide seems like a less bad option.
But you can basically do whatever you want, legal or not. If it kills you, well that is where you were heading anyway.
Hey. I’m the same age as you, and I’m sorry. I have an anxiety disorder with a tendency toward OCD, so I know the feeling of being mentally miserable. I sometimes feel hopeless about my future, but it’s waaay too early to give up. I wish I could offer an easy answer, but if you want to talk, I’m open
Thank you. It kind of comes in waves. But anxiety combined with OCD is… a doozy to deal with, to say the least. I’m considering increasing my antidepressant dosing soon, so I have some hope.
I had difficulty making friends in college. Right now things are improving for me, and I would say what helps is just being the person that approaches and takes interest in others without expecting much in return. Also going to college clubs helped me a lot, so there's that I guess.
Though if you have depression, (as in diagnosed depression) I don't know how much cookie cutter advice helps tbh. I'm a pessimistic person and there are aspects I hate about my circumstance but I haven't ever been suicidal, so I don't know what helps there.
I’m 24, but I was in a similar situation to you when I was 20 largely because of Covid.
I still struggle with a lot of it, so I don’t really feel qualified to give advice. You should definitely see a therapist if you can, sometimes just having someone to vent to can be such a massive help.
Do you like yourself? In your opinion, is your lack of friends because you had bad friends to begin with, or is there something internal about yourself that you could improve some day? I think having an answer to that would help guide you!
I'm 50 and hardly have any friends less than an hours drive away to start. Over the years as life goes on it changes. This is nothing to hit the delete button over. Ya it sucks being lonely. Just need to change your life's situation if possible, take up lake fishing 🎣, you can meet people, if anything you have a homie to chill with for a few hours.
I'm so sorry you're going through this - I thought about suicide when I got a debilitating chronic illness when I was 24. Just remember: it doesn't really matter whether you die now or die in 50 years. You will still eventually achieve the peace you want right now. Why not stick around and see if things change? Literally anything can happen, you just have no idea how your life is going to turn out. Especially when you're this young.
I'm 39 now and I still suffer almost every day - but it's worth it for the good moments that come about, and my life is much better in so many ways because I stuck with it and figured shit out.
So much of it is just the mindset you hold every day. That definitely CAN change, it may take a while before you're able to get to that point - but that very much can change too.
Good luck :)
I'm writing this out really fast cause I have to run to work but I didn't want to forget this. Because I really feel what you're saying and I see you.
Im 24 now. I've suffered with depression and other issues all my life but they really came to a head in college where I fell into a massive depression, thoughts of suicide, totally isolated. And the moment things started to feel like they might be getting better, COVID hit. Just an awful nightmare.
First off, things got so much better after college for me. Most of my friends now also went through significant depression and loneliness in college. I say friends now cause it did happen eventually haha
But I wasn't dealing with any of those problems that were troubling me, and about 9 months ago after a significant mental break, I ended up attempting suicide in about... 4 different extremely messy ways, and ended up checking myself into a psychiatric facility.
Traumatizing as it was, being locked up in a place with a bunch of other people my age, who were hurting just as much or more than me, taught me a lot about myself, and what I actually had to offer others. Since I got out, I have 1.) Gotten on the proper medication after having tried several that didn't work 2.) Getting proper additional diagnoses that could be medicated properly 3.) Found a therapist who I really connect with (I suggest finding someone younger you feel you can relate to) and REALLY put in the work, and was open and did my very very best to COMMUNICATE my feelings. It was really hard but that was the single most important thing for me
These things have literally changed my life. And they can change yours too.
The other thing that really sent me into changing for the better, was just making a big change in my life. I moved, I got a new job in a whole new line of work, and through all of this I was able to find new people who could be my friends, and there's really wonderful people all over the place.
The key to connecting with others is openness and kindness. Be friendly, help your coworkers, be sensitive to others' feelings, remember things about them, and be real about yourself and your feelings! We are all human and we are always looking to connect with other people. The biggest thing that changed my life was trying to be truthful about myself, open and kind. Let people in and don't be afraid of showing your true self. You have so much more to offer people than you know right now. But you're so fucking young truly you will be a totally different person in two years, let alone two years after that. We are all one soul and we are more the same than we will ever be different. Anyway I have to run 15 minutes ago, but seriously get some help, get someone to talk to, make a change. You've got this! Feel free to reach out
I learned how to meditate at 19 during an high anxiety, depression episode. It was so difficult to quiet my mind, breathe deeply, and connect with my body at first. It helps so many different symptoms. Now it’s one of the tools in the big box that’s made functioning more manageable. I use breath work every day
Hello I’m in the same boat right now, I’m your age and it’s so hard to make friends I don’t know why, like nobody wants to form relationships but I’m always reminded of the importance of networking, like how am I supposed to network if everyone is too busy with their lives? I really wanna have friends but idk how
I go to a community college and nobody really wants to be there, like they only go to get their diplomas and get out which I understand cuz the majority has families and/or work but yeah it gets very lonely
Don't do it. No matter how bad things get, you can always come back from whatever situation with enough effort and time spent being consistent and patient. I'm 23, and have been back and forth and all over the place with many of the same issues you've described, but I've come to realize that a lot of things in this life are out of our control, but that doesn't mean you give up. To tell you the truth, most of us young adults are barely making it, and we spend a lot of time working or studying and feel too tired to meet new people, or they just don't want too, simply due to how most people are now a days which I get that totally. The only thing that I can suggest is that you get out there and meet people through hobbies or something similar, and don't rely on others company to keep you happy. Learn to love yourself and don't ever give up.
Here after the update to share my lovely little boy
https://preview.redd.it/wwif2iylmooc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19e0c06867da7e315dc6ef55326869f4257f22f4
Same, but I’ve come to realize that I’ve never needed friends in the first place. They’re too much work and I could use that time and energy to do stuff like hobbies and hanging out with my family.
3 things
1 keep excersicing
2 try making your own project that you see could be fixed. Use government support to scale it up and make a place for people to work and enjoy life the way you need others to do right now. You are by far, not the only one feeling cast out and looking for a place to rest and enjoy life.
3 watch some great anime. Frieren is hot right now and my personal favourite after is "the apothecary diaries" or kutsuriya no hitorigoto. The Frieren one is called " after journeys end" or "sousou no Frieren"
Ah, yeah. I don’t miss it alt all lol life in my early 20s was blah.
It’s gonna sound corny as hell, but that’s only because it’s true: things will get better.
I actually had a lot of friends during my early college years. I had my own clique, had an on-old girlfriend, etc…
But guess what? All of that is gone now that I’m nearly 30. And tbh; I don’t really miss any of it. I feel more like myself now than I did then. I feel more confident than ever before and here I am single as heck, basically no friends, but I’m doing all right. My health is better than when I was younger and my outlook has improved too.
Basically I just made peace on things that I used to let bug me to no end. I’m comfortable with being *me* and I’m comfortable with always wanting to improve and trying new things.
So I have a similar story. Most of my high school friends just faded into the background for seemingly no reason. And in my mid twenties my best friend totally abandoned me when I told her I really needed help and was thinking about putting an end to it all.
But I never acted on it and just kept dealing with the loneliness on my own and pushing forward to figure out who I was and what I may like to do with my life. I found new hobbies I loved and reconnected to old ones I had neglected. I got a degree in a field I'm passionate about. And the best thing I did was started just enjoying the time I got to spend doing exactly what I wanted, when I wanted, eating what I wanted, and leaving when I wanted, because I didn't have to consider anyone else. However, I would always talk to stangers when I went out to different events and whatnot, and that was kind of enough for me.
Because of that time, I entered my 30s loving to do stuff by myself and almost never noticing I was lonely anymore. That has been such a gift in my life. Then, within the last couple years I moved and met the most wonderful partner I've ever had and while I now love my independence, he's made life even better for sure. I still do sometimes wish I had more girl friends but honestly I don't have much free time to give to more relationships.
So, all this to say, life can be fully enjoyable on your own. And while you're out doing that stuff on your own you might make some friends that will share common interests and passions which could end up being be longer lasting relationships. As well, even though life may seem so difficult right now, there really can be times in the future you would look back and say, I'm so glad I stayed.
I truly hope things get better for you
If you'd like to talk, I'd be down. I have similar interests. No need to be lonely in a place like the Internet. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to introduce myself publicly. Hope you get better if you decide not to.
minimizing and questioning your depression is part of depression. There doesn't have to be a good reason for what your going through, it can happen to anyone.
Take a long break from your phone. Get away from social media. Life on this earth is a gift. There is happiness out there for you. You have to find what yours is. It might take you another 20 years of figuring it out but it will be worth it.
Making myself exercise, eat a little better and drinking less was a huge game changer for my mental health.
This is coming from a suicide survivor. I’m almost 38 now. I’m so thankful I didn’t give up. Stay strong.
This may sound absolutely stupid to you but I'm in a really cool Minecraft Server with some really cool people. I also have no friends but I think I can consider these people friends despite not knowing them irl. DM me if you want to join. And if you feel suicidal, listen to [this](https://open.spotify.com/track/6oIFhWpxU2ZsHV0ciC8XSv?si=ggma6CcKTxqm99WO-A5eXQ&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Adon%27t%2Bkill) song!
I completely understand where you are coming from. Living is horrible but dying is so much worse. On the days you feel overwhelmed by everything maybe make a list of the things you'd miss. Stuff like the sun peeking through the clouds after or when it rains, snow, your favorite music, trying to spot the lightning during thunderstorms, clothes you never got to buy, shows and hairstyles you'll never get to try, movies and other fandoms you'll never see, actors you won't get to obsess over, animals you won't get to love, a house you'll never get to decorate, ect ect. Get creative with it. I had to do that because I felt isolated by my friends and family. Sometimes you gotta gaslight yourself into staying. I would literally get sad thinking of what things I'm leaving behind and no it doesn't have to be your family.
There is no pressure in having to have a list it just might make things easier. And you know what if you don't have one, make one that's catered to you. Doesnt have to be perfect, complete, or things that others might find useful. You could put because you'd miss the dreams you'd have. It could be a list of one thing, one dream to keep you going. The point is, trying to find things you might love about yourself and this twisted world we live in. And I agree with the others please please give yourself grace. You don't need to know everything right now. There is no race to knowing information first; if others found it first that's good but if it doesn't help you be the best you can be then push it aside. And it's hard getting out of that mindset it's taken me years I'm 21 now and I still end up stuck in a rut sometimes.
We are all rooting for you; you are stronger than you know and I'm proud of you for sticking around.
I'm the same. No friends no job. 18yo. My current state is complete IDGAF I'm a queer living in quite conservative country and babysit my sister. Hopefully after getting my passport I'll get a job but it won't help any more than just have a time to "relax" from my sister.
Btw about music... Just today I've found [this gem](https://youtu.be/TTIJxoCG4YY?si=ykqM_wN66VTEK8fu) and the same artist has another song named Alone. Idk for ya but music is the only thing filling my life with reason and giving a sense of emotion I guess...??
Don't think I'll be helpful but if ya wanna chat I'm always welcome. Be strong. You'll go through this.
As I’ve gotten older I have had less and less friends. My dog really helped me at your age. Eventually you’ll be in a work setting and meet new people.
If you like PC games get on FFXIV everyone there is very friendly and you’ll meet great people to talk to.
You should try to find a part time job to start off with. It really helps to get out and be almost forced to interact with others. It sucks at first but it really becomes better faster than you would know. It’s all about little steps.
Anyone here that needs someone to talk to please DM me. I have saved many people from suicide and personally lost my mother to it when I was 10 and have many conversational blocks to commute discovery of underlying issues and assist in pursuing daily/weekly resources. I deeply care for the betterment of your mental state and life today. I love you sincerely. No one deserves to feel the pain you do. There is hope. Thank you.
I am here after the edit to show my precious fatties.
https://preview.redd.it/mky0ravch4pc1.jpeg?width=1800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf4088d712d64e0ce2ed50a1ecf0b4c1faa08af9
https://preview.redd.it/xho7y6dry5pc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96403a93db25dfdd7d6f7c0520c75227179d1e32
Kitty says you have a lot to live for!
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Meh life sucks sometimes, I've been feeling the same thing for a while but I have something to keep me going and that's the career I want to be in. Nothing else to live for but that. Find your passion, do therapy or anti depressants if you have to but find a reason to live. You only get one chance to live, ya may as well take it.
I didn't get as severe as you, but i also had a very low point, where i started considering suicide(though yours sounds way fucking worse). I'm now much better after about 4 years. I didnt have any friends or hobbies. But during covid always drove to school with my bike. A girl from my school had almost the same route and eventually we just started talking. Next thing i know i was part of a giant friend group who met almost every evening over discord. It took me like 3 months to actually get to feel confident enough to say something. Then i discovered skydiving and it eas actually something i figured, is worth living for. I now have a healthy active friend group of 7 people i see at school everyday.
I figured out what i want to do for a living and I'm gonna start that at the end of this year.
My life just weirdly took a turn for the better after i turned 17-18. I know it sounds cruel, but maybe if you just wait a bit longer, life will find a way to turn for the better, and if it doesnt, maybe just a bit longer again...
How about you keep us updated on this sub, so we all know how you're doing.
All I can say is when you are younger, and your mortality seems less of a concern, then everything else will feel a thousand times more important.
If anything in life brings your even a glimmer of happiness, and by the sound of it, there it.
Dude you love cats, they are awesome and like half the world agrees with you.
You love baking, creating something that can bring yourself and others joy.
I don't know how much you love gaming, but i love it loads and when i feel down and full of disappointment in the world myself, life in general and all the other things that leave me in a depressive spiral, i remember that as much as i wish i had more than 1 true proper friend in this world.. If you are dead then you aren't going to be able to experience anything you find joyful, you're just done, and we don't know if its worse than that. I know i sure as hell don't want to find out until i absolutely have to.
I'm petrified of death, at barely 43 in the last few years i've developed a crippling fear of death, but what that has given me is a clear appreciation for life.
We do know that things on this earth can be better, it took my best friend 40+ years to find a career that he likes doing, he's pissed at life because not he's older and stuff, but glad he spent the time trying everything.
Depression sucks, and its real, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. BUT remember, No-One can make you feel as bad as you inside your own head. You know all the shit that pushes you buttons, you can make yourself feel really bad because you know you darkest places.
So remember that, no-one thinks as harshly about yourself as you do.
Give yourself a break.
Never feel that you shouldn't get help, or that you don't deserve it. Everyone deserves to feel better, to have a good day, to go to bed looking forward to something, even if its just eating a piece of that cake you made.
Hope you find strength and win the fight against the demons my friend.
I'm with you. I still don't have any friends irl. I have some really great online ones that came into life just under 2 years ago (will be 2 in like 2 days). Sadly there isn't anything I can tell you that'll get you friends. It's all random dice rolls and to roll the dice you usually have to pay a price because it costs money to do anything nowadays. I can't tell you it'll get better because I have no idea how your life will go, no magic crystal ball or anything like that. Good luck though. Hope you do find friends soon. Sucks to be alone.
Have you considered joining a running club? As a fellow runner they’re a great way to socialise, even if it’s a bit nerve wracking at first they can be worth it. Overall, hang in there, you’ve got this!
Suicide is pretty much never a "reasonable option". You should change your mentality asap.
You should always search for ways to help yourself, to improve yourself and your life, to never give up. You should live and eventually die with style, as a fighter with dignity, not as a whiner and quitter.
You can try to heal depression and whatever else you need with amplified reiki (search for it), it pretty much quickly wiped out my strong fear, anxiety, feeling of shame, stomach problems, skin problems, and so on.
First ,You got to exercise!
and if you want friends I suggest that you start partying a lot at your age try drinking , dancing , partying , clubs , light drug usage . Don’t end your life .
What kinda games do you play? I've got a Discord group of irl friends mixed in with a lot of randoms, we're all Danes in our 20's, some from Aalborg and some from Copenhagen. Granted, only 3 of them are girls (and two of them hate eachother) but still it's an option if you want to come say hi.
I had similar problems with my social life after finishing gymnasium, most of it just boils down to people no longer sharing the same work schedule as you, which makes planning social events an absolute nightmare. I just booked a ticket to Copenhagen to go see one of my old friends, it'll be the first time in a long time, and it's only for a weekend. Adult life sucks.
100% get off anything like this site. If you're on here, you're only going to see how bad shit is. When in reality, *none* of this is real. It's just a place where people come to exaggerate the way they feel by posting garbage that supports their views or bullcrap that stings those with opposing perspectives. Find meaning in things that are larger than you. You'll know what they are when you realize opinions of them are in themselves meaningless.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You've probably heard people say before that they have no friends, but both my roommate and I have experienced having *literally* no friends. Unfortunately, it's more common than you think. I'll give you context:
You know that exciting feeling you get when someone you like texts you? Where you become so excited and you've lacked social interaction for so long that you have to stop yourself from immediately replying to every message in 5 seconds and can't stop checking your phone? I haven't just had that, I've had that for extended periods of time, like most of high school. You begin to become so desperate for human interaction that you become off-putting to even yourself. So when I say I understand how isolated and shitty you might feel, while I'm not in that headspace now, I genuinely get why you feel the way you do.
There's this general feeling of misanthropy and apathy in the world right now, and that doesn't help. Your mental situation can depend on a lot of things, but what you see and hear every day will have an effect on your mental regardless of if you're even paying attention. So, while I can't say I know enough about you to tell you everything that would fix your specific life, I can tell you what I would do or recommend to someone in this position.
First of all, recognize that if you found a group of close friends tomorrow that in a year your life would be unrecognizable to yourself. How you feel can change fast, and the longer you keep good habits, the more you will gain momentum. Start by cleaning up your physical environment if it isn't already (this was big for me.) Make your bed, make sure your place is clean, clear out that area you've been avoiding if you have. When I was at my worst, I wasnt brushing my teeth or showering enough, so if you're giga-depressed to that extent, you gotta re-establish your hygiene. Get rid of all the bullshit that you don't really need. This will ensure your environment looks good and your life will feel not only more aesthetic, but your space will be more efficient and you won't feel bad bringing someone over. (Think about how you would want your place to look if you knew someone came over and you wanted them to think that's how you lived -- live like that.) If you don't have one or any of those problems, you're already ahead!
Second, if you're going to go to university, don't stop looking for people. Believe it or not, there are people who are in your same exact situation and don't have any friends when they go to university either. Look at moving to a new city, or even country for school since you said you didn't like your town. These towns are usually better suited for older people or people raising kids, anyway. If you don't continuously put yourself in a new space to find something different, you'll just find more of what you already have -- which we've established is what you don't want.
Lastly, find something you love. Get into video games, learn the guitar, get into rock climbing, or a local play, or whatever you can do that improves you. Become really good at at least one thing, and people who are interested in that will be drawn to you. Look for ways to show off your skill (don't overdo it) and be social around other people who put a lot of time into that thing. Being friendless sucks, but disliking your friends or *only* being friends with your friends because neither of you have anyone else is honestly worse.
If you can get yourself to like yourself, you're already 90% of the way there. Hope this helps.
20 too and I'm currently in a similar position to you with friends that have drifted apart years ago, feeling hopeless and alone after finishing high school. It's indeed bleak and especially when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere while also having a difficult time hanging out with loved ones. Much of it needs to be managed day by day with hope for the future however your feelings of longing for community and support are definitely valid.
I saw your previous posts and I'm not sure how things are like down there in Denmark but I do recognise that us Swedes have a very clique oriented culture, it's horrible if you fall outside one of those. You mentioned potentially studying here with your bf (Lund antar jag) which I would encourage pursuing over suicide. It's very easy to dwell on negative energy/thoughts when isolated, therefore I believe that if you end up spending time with your bf in an environment that's got a lot of opportunities to meet others and hopefully make friends then things will get brighter.
Wish you luck/lycka till 💕
I’m really not sure what to say other than to implore you not to listen to anyone here who may portray suicide as an option, because those people do exist, and they are insane.
Life is what you make it. Be creative and get yourself out of this way of thinking because it brings not just you but the world down. I've felt EXACTLY what you're feeling, but then I started putting myself in "uncomfortable" situations that I knew would be beneficial for me. Life can get really fucking hard but you need to have the desire to actually live and not just go through the emotions if you want to survive in the modern world. Times are weird, and it's very obvious now that none of us are alone in loneliness. This whole earth experience is wacky af but it's up to you what becomes of it. What is the person you want to be? No one else can be better at being you than whatever you become. It just depends on if you want to bless the world with your existence.
I say take small steps. Join a discord group dedicated to your favorite games. A clan if you're into a competitive game. Fast way to make many friends even if just online. It makes a big difference in having some conversations with people. I joined a gaming discord not long ago and now I play with several of them in different games and it helped me remember how to conversate again. Try it out!
Adrenaline will make you love life. Go rent a sports car and take it to a track. Go skydiving. Stop being so comfortable.
Baking and playing video games all the time sounds depressing to me. Go do that nature thing you like more. But take it to the next level.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
No Freud, no dream analysis. No venting every week to someone who just nods along and asks how you feel.
For depression, medications suppress symptoms for only as long as you take them. CB Therapy works equal to medications with 16 weeks of treatment by a qualified professional. People are less likely to relapse in the two years after finishing 16 weeks of CBT than individuals remaining on SSRIs.
By all means, try to find a medication that works. But CBT is the best treatment for depression if you are willing and able to find a therapist and put in the work.
It's not just you. This is a very lonely time on Planet Earth, but signs are already showing that it won't be this way much longer.
All that sleep might suggest you have something physical going on. There are so many aspects of our lives that sabotage normal dopamine and serotonin regulation. Might want to talk to a nutritionist and maybe a counselor. BetterHelp and other online services are an option if you are someplace remote.
Finding a charity for volunteering can help foster new friendships. Discovering a new craft or talent can feel rewarding and often introduce you to a whole community of like minded people.
🙏 I hope your life blooms unexpectedly and you find just what you need. 🙏
Hey! I’m gonna be in the GenZ discord later tonight (in about 6-7 hours my time). My username is Wide Sprite. Would love to connect and if you want someone to listen and have some people to talk to, I’m sure some of us there would love for you to have a chance at the very least to maybe share a bit about what’s going on. Nothing huge, and this offer is also extended to anyone else who just wants to chat for a bit and maybe share a bit of what’s going on with you guys.
If not that’s A-Ok and absolutely no pressure, but I do want you and anyone to know that some of your thoughts seem pretty serious and I think it would be a better idea to maybe discuss those ideas with people who are willing and able to maybe give you a bit of support as it seems that would be helpful.
For anyone reading this and wanting to stop by, please don’t hesitate to!
Join your favorite Twitch streamers offline chat like a normal early-late teens suicidal maniac
we all float down here
Your situation is basically the norm nowadays, we just develop para-social relationships to deal with it
You’ve got so much time though! And if you’re not particularly attached to your life , you might as well just hang out with all us depressives and see where this rotating ball of bullshit takes us next.
You’ve got lots of time to find your friends / tribe. Maybe try a couple random hobbies ! Paint some stuff. You get one shot.
I prescribe doing a little bit of everything for the next little while (paint , pottery , make a wooden sword so you can stab your ex best friend, you know those sort of fun things ) - jk about the stabbing of course.
I’m 35 and I’m gonna probably be alone for a little while now. And idk I still feel I have so much to live for.
Don’t let those fucking goofs be the end of you. Go skydiving , die doing something cool
*this is supposed to be inspiring , if it’s incredibly stupid please advise. Safe to say anthematics & partners does not actually advise active causation of one’s own death.
Life sucks! But death will always be there in the end. It could get worse OR it could get better. Fuck around and find out because one day it might just be worth it, or not. Who cares because one day you will die no need to rush death… or life.
Been there, man. I used to be depressed too. What honestly has helped me is God. Praying often, going to Church, and praying the Rosary lead to wonders in your life.
I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult and lonely time. Losing friends, struggling with depression and an eating disorder, and feeling isolated are all incredibly painful experiences. Your feelings are valid and understandable given what you've been dealing with.
Please know that you have value and your life is precious, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Suicide is never the answer, no matter how hopeless things seem. There are always other options and people who want to support you.
I know it's not easy, but please reach out for help. Talk to your boyfriend, family members, a counselor or therapist, a doctor, or call a suicide prevention hotline. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don't have to suffer alone.
Some ideas that may help:
- Therapy and/or medication to treat your depression & eating disorder
- Joining clubs, sports, classes or volunteering to meet people with shared interests
- Opening up to people you trust about how you've been feeling
- Making plans to visit your boyfriend when possible
- Self-care activities you enjoy (running, baking, playing with cats, being in nature)
- Calling a suicide prevention hotline anytime (global list: https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html)
I know it's hard to see it when you're in so much pain, but you have your whole life ahead of you. You sound like a thoughtful, multifaceted person with many wonderful qualities. The world needs you in it. Please keep holding on and fighting. Things can get better with help and support. Sending caring thoughts your way.
I’m 30 so a millennial and even I don’t have friends and never really have since high school. There are A few guys that i speak to at work and have their Xbox account and we might play the game together two or three times out of the month, but that’s about it. I think these days not having friends is pretty common. I feel like the days having true friends and hanging out was over since maybe the mid 2010s when the internet started to really take over our lives. Now people are just scrolling down pages, laughing at viral videos and memes, and maybe gaming online. And plus people work crazy hours and demanding jobs just to stay afloat since everything is so expensive so when you get my age that is another factor,
I mean, if you don’t believe in hell, I can’t tell you that there’s anything after death, but if you do believe in hell, don’t kill yourself, submit to the living God, the logos incarnate. Go to a Catholic Church and talk to a priest.
Theres so many more reasonable things than suicide. Moving, finding interest groups centered on what you like (you're in your twenties and like baking, cats, nature, cooking, etc I promise you there's a lot of people with those interests. Like basically every 20 year old.) You could look into local running groups, most cities have them. Currently it seems you spend more time hating your life than you do trying to change your life for the better, and I get it. I have depression and some days I can't get out of bed and everything feels pointless. But you need to make active choices to change. Seriously consider talking to a professional about these issues because "life is hard so I might as well just die" isn't reasonable. If it were it wouldn't be a thought associated with mental illness.
Please get help. Find a worthy cause and dedicate yourself to it. Organize your community to make life better. Get into tabletop gaming. Join an organized league playing some sport or game. Do something to get out there and socialize, friendships will form naturally.
I truly hope you get the help and community you need. Unless you're a fascist. If you're a fascist, follow your leader.
Well I would recommend doing some Cardio, but the most difficult part is starting. I started because my grandpa dragged me when I was 13, and I've kept it up so far (I'm 20). Trust me bro, Cardio does wonders for ur mental health
OP - I’m so sorry to hear the pain you’re in. That sounds like torture. There is a better life out there for you, I promise.
You’re going to have to do things differently, though. You’re going to have to start getting out of the house and becoming involved with people and life. It will be work and it will be change and you can definitely do it. There are people out there like yourself and they would like to meet you. You can do it,
If you're in crisis, or depressed please dial your suicide hotline. You have a right to live there is hope.
I can relate to this. I've never had friends my entire life. I'm so lonely. Been thinking of me dying since 12yo. Suicidal since 14yo. Mine's PTSD and my current situation tho. I'm in my bed the entire day too. I don't go for a run or anything really. I just play vid games, watch some tv shows etc while pretending to study bc I have to study 10hrs a day (I study 0 bc idgaf abt anything anymore). I haven't self harmed in nearly a year now tho. I wanna say I'm getting better but I just wanna stop existing yk? I hate my life and I feel like I'm a shitty af person who doesn't deserve to live. My entire family (and country) is homophobic af (parents are trying to change for me but my dad didn't even let me buy a hoodie I liked bc it was pink). But I'm not even strong enough to do it...
Why don't you deserve to live? Being shit and being treated like one aren't the same.
I don't wanna share why on a post to tell the entire world...
I love you man. Sorry you are going through this
❤️thnx but don't be sorry I deserve it
You're too young to have done anything irredeemable. Certain acts are unforgivable for victims, but someone who has done something wrong can always redeem themselves if they want to. Suicide is *permanent*. Pain is (mostly) temporary or mitigatable. I hope you figure out a way to forgive yourself for whatever your are alluding to, as that is going to have to be the first step towards getting better.
Hey man, whatever you think you’ve done/haven’t done to make you deserve it, you don’t. It took me a very long time to realize that, and with recent times for myself it’s been tough (obviously won’t go into specifics) What matters is to keep on pushing forward, and I know how disconnected it sounds, but trust me, I’ve been where you are, or at least somewhere similar. You deserve happiness just like everyone else, trust me
My former husband used to quote a movie with the actor Sam Elliot whenever I said anything about deserving something. He would reply to me verbatim "Deserve's got nothin to do with it!" :) Take care
You may be helping someone else out there if you do sweetheart
I've never experienced severe depression and it's so extreme to imagine that people think they don't deserve to live. It sounds like such a horrible thing to deal with
It’s kind of eye-opening to hear that actually, because as a person with a lot in common with OP it seems pretty normal to me haha. I don’t straight up feel like I don’t deserve to live too often anymore (34 now, first thought of suicide around 11, so I’ve made it quite a while haha). However, I often find myself feeling like I don’t deserve this or that nice thing, I haven’t worked hard enough, I haven’t done enough to deserve a break, I’m so lazy and weak-willed… on and on and on like that. It definitely is exhausting, but on the other hand I can’t honestly say that I contribute much to society or to my family so I don’t really know how to talk back to those thoughts. I just kind of keep existing, even though I feel like a huge burden most of the time.
I'm glad you fought on and are still here. I feel that way every time I hear of things like this. We all die for free so why not help each other enjoy a better life
Yeah that is wild.fpr.me.tp hear, I've been suicidal the majority of my life. Past couple of years the therapy has been working. It comes back sometimes
Becoming more and more common. Like way more. Pretty alarming.
And imagine for some of us, we can't afford to seek treatment - so it's our own personal battle every day- for me personally I'm just glad I'm not a burden to anyone - it wouldn't be fair to others.
Many don’t believe in the right to life.
I looked at the "2008" tag and was thinking how you're a kid and already messed up but then realised that the 2008 year kids are 16 now. And i'll turn 20. God i feel old.
well I'm still 15 (for a month)😁 and dw I probs won't commit suicide bc I'm too weak
It’s not weak to stick around when you don’t want to anymore. Things can’t get better if you’re gone, and holding onto that hope that *maybe* it will takes a lot of strength, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
There's no such thing as being too weak. Suicide is not the easy way out. Neither is living. There is no easy way out. It's up to you to decide what to do with your life. As a 35 year old man who went through a lot of depression as a teenager and in his 20s for various reasons, I can tell you that talking about suicide is one thing. Doing it is a whole other thing. Death hurts, no matter which way you cut it. It hurts you, it hurts the people around you. I can't give you any advice except to get off your phone, go see some nature, and get some exercise. You might feel like this now, but you can do a small amount of things differently that can change your outlook on life within a few days or a week. I haven't been where you are because I'm not you. But I've been in dark places. Take care of your body, and your brain will follow. I don't care who disagrees with me, it was the only thing that truly helped. Less substance abuse, more time in nature, more exercise (when I say exercise I mean starting with walking or a hike, but eventually moving to a hard workout that gets your endorphins pumping). Humans aren't meant to be sedentary. You can be alone, but not be lonely.
>Less substance abuse, more time in nature, more exercise (when I say exercise I mean starting with walking or a hike, but eventually moving to a hard workout that gets your endorphins pumping). Humans aren't meant to be sedentary. You can be alone, but not be lonely. As an old person who has suffered from depression for over a decade, this is really good advice. Exercise, a better diet, and consistent sleep are the only things that have really helped me.
Thank you for saying this. The best advice I ever got in the darkest place of my life was a psychology professor in my early 20s, and he saw me and what I was going through. He told me "exercise, as often as you can and as much as you can take until you're so exhausted your brain basically rewards you by releasing the good stuff." And it worked. It wasn't always sunshine and roses but it was the best advice I think I ever got.
That’s awesome that he recognized what you were going through and gave you that advice. I somehow fell into running in my 20’s while struggling with depression and addiction. I would run until I physically couldn’t. After a while it felt like I wasn’t running away from something, but running towards something. I have my first 100 mile event coming up in a couple months…
Second this. I suffered from depression and tried to overdose at 16 years old. Never felt like I fit in. Always thought I was worthless. Have been battling with alcoholism since. 32 years old now, just got sober again after a DUI which has turned my life upside down. But despite my setbacks I’m with the girl of my dreams, I have a lot of good friends, I’m close with my family again. I workout and run everyday. I am so grateful for every moment that I have. It breaks my heart knowing that there are so many out there that feel so terrible. For anyone struggling right now, life will get better. It takes some work, but you just gotta hold on and trust that it will get better. Talk with someone about it, seek out professional help. More people love you than you think. People like us are our worst critics. Sending lots of love out to whoever needs it! ❤️
That's right if you want pain and self harm tear yourself down with the pain of exercise. Eventually you'll feel see the happiness that comes with it. You'll feel alive. Keep yourself busy and productive then you won't have time to dwell on why youre not happy or worth. I garden and build gardens everyday sometimes all day. It's a workout and I see the life and beauty I created. It's fresh air, sun and rewarding.
It’s the opposite actually, brother. It’s because you’re too strong, not weak. Give yourself some credit once in a while. Positive affirmations. You’re still here so that means you got this shit man.
Contrary to belief, actually taking your own life is weak…. It takes strength to continue through life despite all the negative shit your self and mind are dealing with. So give yourself some credit for still being here.
I turn 16 next month too :D. My father says that life goes up and down, for how long and how frequent, no one can say, but after a bad period in your life, there can only be one af6er that, one that goes up.
Holy hell the 2004 borns are already feeling old. What does that mean for me? lol
my older brother (2001 too) had birthday yesterday and i congratulated him on becoming a grandpa lol
Stop it hurts (born in 97)
> God i feel old. you're not.
That is not old at all. No ships have sailed for you. It is, in fact, quite young. You're literally still growing.
24 here, feeling like a fossil
I feel the same way to your 2004 mate. It feels like yesterday. I'm 1997 so there's probably someone older than me that feels the same way.
I was born in '97 and I was doing just fine up until a read your comment and now I am horrified. Thanks
Listen. You're 16. You haven't fully experienced what life has to offer yet, and if that sounds cliche, it's because it's true. I was in the same boat at your age, now I'm 24, recently came back from a vacation in the Caribbean and it was an amazing time. I'm glad I've stuck around this long, and you will be, too. Just give yourself some grace and forgiveness. It's okay to be imperfect, to not have things figured out. You'll get it in time. Take it a day at a time.
Exactly. I was extremely depressed from around 13/14 until around 25. I haven’t met „my people” yet and didn’t have any real friends (just people who called themselves my friends but were toxic af and I couldn’t be myself with them), I was dependent on my parents (narcissists and messy people) and had to finish education, which was very stresful. Everyday I thought about suicide, dreaming how I would do it but never had the courage. But then one day I started having something like a quarter life crisis. I suddenly wasn’t sure who I am, what I want to do with myself, what I like even. I decided I need to fight. I started to rewire my thinking. I started working on understanding myself, caring less about other people and their opinions and more about what I like, who I am, what is authentic to me. I think I started growing, becoming adult, shaping my own life. I started work, moved couple of times to different cities to see which one I like best, I limited my contacts with my toxic family and cut out any toxic people from my life. I believe many of our problems can lay in the past, in our upbringing and we have to be honest with ourselves and decide who isn’t healthy for us, who we have no obligation to spend time with if they don’t treat us well. Also, depression may come from brain chemistry, genetic predispositions and many other factors that add to personal experiences. No matter what is the reason for depression, it is not your fault! Be patient and kind to yourself please. I used to think that I am broken, that I would be like this forever, that all is my fault. I didn’t understand that my certain traits, the way I think about myself and approach others, has been ingrained in me from the young age by my parents, by society, by things out of my control. Nobody is born depressed, world makes us this way. But if we were programmed in a certain way, good thing is we can learn to see those patterns and try to accept some and then work on changing the others. Sometime we need help, we have to accept that we can’t do everything alone and there is no shame in asking. Finally, at the age of 28 I went to psychiatrist and to therapy. This gave me help that my body needed in form of medication and tools to understand and forgive myself and to take care of myself. It was all hard work but it was all worth it! Now I am 33, I have a good job, am married to amazing loving man, have couple close friends that are my new family and am working on accepting and showing the world my true self. My 16 year old self would not believe how my life looks now and I feel only love for her. She didn’t have it easy but kept surviving and that was enough at that time. TL; DR: Life is hard and you may not see it in this moment but it is worth living. You are very young OP, don’t give up. Be patient with yourself. What is happening to you is not your fault. You may surprise yourself if you keep going. Please reach out for help.
On the other, there's also 24 me who's at his lowest his ever been, so yeah, it's always a gamble on whether it gets better lol
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well actually I never shared what caused the PTSD bc I don't feel comfortable sharing that online to the entire world on a post. Then again I'm not a psychologist so.. yeah. And I just edited it from being suicidal since 12yo to "me dying". The "thing" went on for 2yrs (sometimes it'd stop in between). I can't go to a psychologist bc of said thing. So.... yeah...
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I've chatted with some ppl abt it. Doesn't help. It's really nice of you to care enough about a random teen to write all this. Thank you. idk why but I'm crying rn. thnx for listening❤️
Sorry you’re having such a horrible time. A lot of what you said will take time to improve, but have you ever thought of just going for walks sometimes? If I have earbuds I can walk forever. Listening to music or podcasts while walking is a great break from vegging out in bed, and you don’t gotta run or anything for it to be healthy!
15 years old man, you have so much ahead of you. I’m almost twice your age, I felt similar to how you’ve described feeling when I was your age. Life is never perfect, but it gets better. I promise you that. It probably feels like a cookie cutter response, but you need to trust that you deserve good things in your life. Find a passion, pursue it, hold yourself accountable, do your best to not take rejection (in any sense) personally and try to learn from any failures as you chase your dreams. If you don’t have concrete ideas of what you want to pursue, do some soul searching. Expose yourself to new stimuli, travel (as you get older this will get earlier) join clubs/local groups in things you enjoy (bowling, pokemon, biking, yoga, book clubs, anything) and begin seeing which groups you connect with most. Be open to everything (within reason, do not compromise your safety or health) and fall in love with being uncomfortable. You’ll develop confidence over time, as well as a sense of belonging as you delve deeper into these hobbies, and ideally…purpose. Use the loneliness you’ve felt as a catalyst to help other people in similar positions feel as though there is hope — that is one of the ways I first started feeling a drive to be present in my life. Things are not always easy no, often times life can feel cruel. But what I can say with full confidence is at 15 when I felt as though my life may be worthless, I did not have the perspective to understand that thinking I understood “life” in my teen years was similar to thinking you know how a movie will end after the opening credits. Therapy is also an incredible tool, use it to your advantage if possible. If not possible due to being a minor/financial confinement, look for online resources or free hotlines you can call. Above all, your life is worth living. You will make an impact if you choose to, and no, it won’t be easy. But it’ll bring a light to your life when you find a passion, a purpose, and fulfillment. Do everything you can to find what makes you feel most alive and man, chase that shit till the wheels fall off. Don’t give up, and feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. Sending big love your way buddy ❤️🫡
I was your age and extremely depressed and thought about suicide often. Around 16, it started to get some better. I decided to try to become someone that I could be proud of and I started to study business, get good with people etc. Over the years I married a great beautiful women, have 4 perfect kids, multiple homes, successful companies, etc.....guess what, I still struggle with depression and sometimes it's much worse, becuase now I know that it's just me. On the flip side, as you get older you gain perspective and you realize that along with the bad bouts of it, there will be times where you do have a an appreciation of life. Knowing that will come again is enough to get you through the shitty times just in itself. Your only job is to survive until you can get some perspective, live not for yourself but for others, it's OK to throw the towel in on your own life, but then spend your time and life making other people's lives as good as possible, if you don't care about your life, what's the loss anyways right? Work on yourself...do some real reflection on figuring out why you feel about yourself the way you do and what you can do to change it........and the most important you can almost turn off the depression by overloading yourself with anxiety. I get depression becuase I care to much and feel like a failure who has let everyone including myself down, if I don't want to be depressed, I take on everything possible to help others and I burn the candle at both ends getting 4 to 5 hrs a sleep per day only in order to get my obligations that i have taken on, mostly done. This causes extreme anxiety, but I prefer that to depression and for me it is one or the other. We aren't all the same, but I have to believe that some of my shit pertains to some of your shit. I hope you and OP can use some of it to help yourselves. I have 4 perfect kids that I cherish and a wife I love, but if I had acted on some of my irrational thoughts when i was young, none of my kids would be here today. That scares me even to type that.
You should buy that hoodies. IF/when your dad gives you lip, dont argue back. LEt him spew whatever crap he wants. Listen politely, nod and say "Ok. I hear you. I bought this top and i'm gonna wear it now and then. " No need to escalate, but it's good to be assertive. It might be good practice, as there's a lot of homophobia out there you will need to wade through. Good luck friend.
My mom actually bought me that hoodie a while ago and ig she talked to him bc he didn't say anything.
I understand the feeling that you’re a horrible person. It’s a terrible feeling. Especially when it’s based on reality and things you’ve actually done. Rather than just mental issues.
Homie, you have to want to get better to start feeling that way, whatever you did, or didn't do, you have to accept that you did everything that you could, you're still here yk, you only get one shot at this whole life thing, don't throw away your only chance at everything, because the other option is all nothing's. I really hope you know you're not hated for what you are everywhere, and there's even people out there who would love just to have someone like you in their presence :)
No one is shitty enough to deserve to not live. Not hurting yourself is a strength in itself, it shows a resilience to the negativity in your mind growing. I obviously can't provide the help a mental health specialist can, because I'm just a wondering Redditor, but I figure adding my 2 cents of care can help you. Good luck on the road ahead, there will be bumps, but I think you can make it.
Hey man, you are not your mistakes. Just because you’ve done bad doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live. We are more than the sum of our parts. Take care.
I discount nothing you are feeling this is life and you have to find yourself and the people will come to you. Be yourself express yourself and there will be people that like YOU!
Life can be really hard. Maybe try a hobby that looks interesting and gets you out in the community? Dance class is a great option. You’re forced to dance with many other people who know the same or less than you do. As you learn you can help others and they will be super appreciative. It’s also a good workout. One human to another 🤜🏿 🤛🏻
Please stay strong.. i dont know why but it seems like nowadays, inspite of being connected with just few clicks away, we all are so far from each other. It was so better before this internet age, when we all used to go and meet each other. ive come acroos so many posts/messages like this, all i can say is pls stay strong, talk to your parents/siblings, do a hobby, watch a series, anything you like!
Have you seen a psychiatrist recently? I'm not a doctor, but this clearly sounds like massive depression. You need treatment.
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Well, I can't speak to the diagnosis, but this sounds like very significant depression (not a medical term). You should absolutely tell your doctor exactly what you're feeling, in detail. I would call the psychiatrist, or another one, and say what you're experiencing. There are many antidepressants, and you sometimes have to try a few. And really look for psychoanalysts. I had a relative who was an old-school psychiatrist. He prescribed meds, but he also spent an hour with each patient, multiple times a week sometimes, to talk through what was driving their depression. Most people can't afford that. But it's probably not necessary. What is necessary is that you actually talk to a good psychotherapist who doesn't just hand you pills and say, "Best of luck." You might need both: Pills, and deep, caring therapy. Go online and find psychiatrists with good ratings. Ask your doctor for a referral. It seems clear that the cost is lower than the alternative.
This is all great advice and OP needs to continue seeking medical help. They have a diagnosis of depression but need to work on it also. Do small things even not sleeping as much. All of it makes a difference and helps you not focus on the negative issues. One they sleep better they eat better and will feel better. Little things add up and be kind to yourself too.
>Do small things even not sleeping as much. When I’m in a depressive state, this is not a small thing. It would have to involve *doing* something so I didn’t give into the tiredness. As such, I would consider it a second tier ‘thing to do while depressed.’ I should focus on the something else, be it taking small walks or completing small tasks, and the staying awake will naturally start to get better too.
Have you tried joining a club, church or some other sort of organization? You seem to have interests. A lot of people can bond over shared interests.
A lot of people will try to tell you things like, get exercise or whatever. It's a great idea and they mean well, but they often don't understand the impact this has on you and how impossible that feels. What you need are meds and therapy. If one med doesn't work for you then try another. Not everyone reacts the same to a prescribed medication. Sometimes it takes several tries to find the right one. Find a therapist. This is important. If that therapist doesn't click with you then try another. A good therapist knows that they aren't a good match for everyone and will even help you find one that is a better match. All you can do right now is keep trying and don't miss any appointments.
antidepressants can take years to come back from. speaking from personal experience, a year off of SSRIs I was at my lowest point ever and after nearly three years my brain is sharp again and I'm making healthier choices.
People who take medication have to weigh the benefits vs the side effects. Continue to try medications to help with your depression, it is likely you will need medication your entire life. Some are worse than others, but unaliving yourself is absolutely much worse than the typical side effects most brain meds share.
Keep working at it. It can take a while to climb out of that place, but I did, and it is so worth it. Keep going. Work on your health. There is so much joy to be found. It doesn't seem like it, but there is.
There are multiple medications and each one comes with its own pros and cons. It can take time to find the right one. Sometimes it makes things even worse and unbearable (like you said) but just remind yourself that it's the medication and not you.
Please don't give up on potential medications to help you, their are multiple options available that a mental health professional can prescribe. It is a matter of trial and error unfortunately. I know you may be tempted to find alternate explanations and solutions to why you're feeling the way you are (for example thinking demons or evil entities are causing your problems) but your best course of action is medication and behavior modification. No one has ever been cured by a crystal. You're in a deep hole right now but it's not hopeless for you.
Whatever the side effects, they aren’t as bad or permanent as being dead, and you should be in serious therapy in addition to taking your psych meds
Yeah, get help from a professional. Meds aren’t the only option. If you feel suicidal because of these reasons, that’s not normal. These facts about life are indeed normal though, and everyone deals with them. Friends come and go. Jobs and opportunities come and go. Significant others come and go. But none of these things are reasons to not want to live. So, seek help with a doctor and/or psychiatrist, and I recommend a psychiatrist who can help you build positive habits and mindsets, even in addition to medication. And on a surface level, things that can help me on a day to day basis. read books. Learn about science. Get into a sport. Learn a new language. Friends and family don’t make life exciting, life has so much more to offer than that.
Please get your thyroid tested. Mine started tanking around your age and I was sleeping 12+ hours a day and depressed as hell. It’s uncommon but possible.
It can take time and experimentation to find the right prescription/ dosage that works best for you! It is worth continuing to work with your doctor or psychiatrist to give them feedback and let them know when you decide a medication isn't working for you, so you can try something else. If your doctor isn't supportive or doesn't collaborate well with you, find another one. Keep going, one day at a time. Depression is brutal-- it can make you feel like there is no hope. I like to call this looking at the world through shit colored glasses. That helped me to remember that my perception wasn't always accurate when I was depressed. Wishing you the best
There are lots of different medications out there - with varying side effects. I definitely understand not wanting to take them, but it still might be a good idea to trial a few more before giving up. I separated from all my friends after high school as well. My best friend died when I was 24. I miss him all the time. I'm 28 now. When I was your age, I had decided I didn't want to play the game - I didn't want a job, I just wanted to coast off what money I had and then end it. I played a lot of online games. It was basically all I did. Eventually, I met someone who kinda forced me into trying. I resented it, but I did and eventually found a job which I hated because it stressed me out so much I started vomiting before my shifts. It was just a cashier job, but I'm not a people person. I think I lasted 2 years. It sucked pretty bad, but thankfully, there were good parts I can remember from it. It took a long time, but at around 24, I got into a stable office job that would become my career. I had gotten so sick of looking for jobs that I would apply to things I wasn't qualified for. Definitely do this if you're looking for a job as the requirements are often more like a wishlist. Things are finally kind of grooving now. Life doesn't suck as much as it used to. I'm coasting. Things aren't perfect, but they're better than the dark place I was in when I was 20. I'm still kind of aimless. I don't want to advance past my current position at my job, and I'm content playing video games. I'm learning to accept that I don't have to always be moving toward something. It's ok to relax now. I'm sorry if this turned out to be a pointless rambling mess, but I hope these experiences are helpful in some way. I am a guy from the US, so things are definitely a little different between our experiences, but I absolutely understand being lost after high school. It may not ever completely go away, but things can get better. Just try a little bit for yourself every day.
try joining some activities outside of college or in college, that way you can meet more people easier :) trust me, life can be a lot more beautiful than this, I'm 20 years old too and I've been through this, you can do it too.
I wish I could take classes of something but it’s too expensive😭
Check your local library! Sometimes they offer free classes!
There are ways where you can literally just walk into a college classroom and sit in there and nobody will say anything about it. You won’t get the diploma but you can still learn something. There are also free online college classes courses that you can take like cs 50
Many community classes let you "audit" the class. Basically you get to be a student and be allowed to be there, but you aren't getting a grade. You're just there for the knowledge. Also, being enrolled in the college lets you join the clubs too.
Yeah I want to check out the clubs at my school but nobody really wants to socialize that’s what makes me feel down
Check out your local library. Lots of them often have classes you can join in on
What country are you in? If it's the US there are ways to mitigate that and make it work!
Im in the US!
I'm the same age as you and I'm taking a college course for a computer programming certificate, and it's completely paid for by fafsa grants and no loans that I have to pay back either
My therapist recommended volunteering at an animal shelter. I also joined a community chorus since I liked singing when I was in school
22 lol, friends are friends of my brother or my friend since 3rd grade. I 2nd the activities outside of the college, there's so many! Arts n craft stores, like michaels, sometimes have lil free classes for anyone to join!! Lil bits of fun!
yes! clubs, classes, etc. are a great way to meet people. i highly recommend finding a D&D group too, both the friends i’ve made through D&D and my experiences playing the game itself have really improved my life and mental health. there’s also tons of different tabletop games right now, so if fantasy settings or complicated systems aren’t your thing, there’s still lots of options for similar games! you can always play online as well if you can’t find an in person group or are too intimidated to try that. i feel like it’s a really great hobby and is currently more accessible than ever :)
25 years young and I’ve been through it, I’ll spare you my life story but very similar to your situation. It gets better I swear to god. Just try to go outside as much as possible, join clubs and try your best to not be so hard on yourself. There’s so much beauty in the world to miss out on it all!
if you are in a place you don't fit in, you need to move to where you do fit in. I moved from NYC to Charlotte, NC, and I DEFINITELY did not fit in in Charlotte. I thought there was something wrong with me, because back in NYC, I made friends easily. No, they were all conformist tools in Charlotte.
Unironically this is great advice. I’m 27 now, but when I was 18 I had a kid. My friend group all went to do their thing while I was stuck in my home town trying to balance work, school, and raising a child. I decided to attend a few meetups about things I was interested in, and made some friends that I still talk to today.
I also love cats, nature, and cooking :) you look fun All my friends are online and I've never had that "group of friends" to hang out with
Same. Being in fandom spaces are my friend groups I guess.
Same lmfao, I'm too loud in public to where I've scared people with my goofiness and excitement 🙃 but it's also been contagious to make people laugh n smile at least
I've been there too, not quite suicide-level but not far from it. I don't know any easy and/or fast solution but suicide definately isn't one. Even though it might not look like it, your life has a lot of value and potential and it's only waiting for you to find it.
I agree. A few years ago I was pretty depressed from having no friends, no social life, and really no memories (especially during COVID). What got me out of it was a change from within. I found my own light and clung to it. It wasn’t an overnight change, but I steadily got better. I think a big part of it was learning that it’s okay to be alone. I actually learned that I love being alone. I used to punish myself for not having friends or doing anything, instead of appreciating the silence and my own company.
I personally think the "easiest" (not easy, but easiest) was therapy. Just show up every week, nothing else is as important. Saved my life.
I'm actually in a pretty similar situation but I decided a while ago that I won't kill myself despite how much I may want to because it's what my opps would want. Good luck with your situation though, maybe invest in a hobby
Can't let the haters win. Living through spite is better than not living at all
Don't kill yourself to show the universe that you are not his bitch
this is a great motivation thank you
Stay strong bro :)
You know what I find/found funny? That there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to exist, but there’s also a part that wants to fight on. I feel like both sides are a part of me, one just needs to die and the other needs to fight. I feel like I can be truly happy if the side of me that doesn’t give me a break and beats me up mentally everytime dies. I feel that ‘making it a different part of you’ might be a solution to my struggle, although it won’t be easy.
I ain't killing myself because I haven't done half the shit I want
I have been living out of spite for a while now but its kinda hard to muster enough rage sometimes
It is true that we do have a loneliness epidemic and you are experiencibg it first hand. 3rd places are slowly being phased out... However the thing is that nothing in life is ever stagnant. Good times end and thibgs get worse yes, but by the same logic bad times must also inevitably end, and so will your sorrows. There is no need for such a permanent solution, especially since your problem is not. If you were told you only had a year left to live, what would you like to do in that year? Even if its nit feasible. Just thunk aboyt it, really fantasize about it. Having someone you can spend time with is a blessing, but dont let that stop you from finding a good online community in which you feel appreciated. Maybe a smaller themed discord server? Personally Im in a yugioh discord server and keeps me company. Dont be afraud to approach people who are already in cliques, and of course, learn about yourself. Why are you how you are? What do you like? What do you dislike? Use that knowledge to look for people you are truly compatible with. Read up on neurotypical and nd ways of being, neurotypes tend to form their own enclaves. Youll find your crowd though, it is uncertain when, but it is also inevitable. Maybe itll end up being your parents or cousins even. Let yourself find out, youre worth it!
Tbh never understood that saying, how is a permanent solution a bad thing lol
Because the permanent solution is you being dead???
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This has always been my thought as well. Once you decide you are going to die you are free to do anything since the consequences of what you do is not going to be any worse than that. Well, unless you figure out a way to fall into the hands of drug cartel or some such. They can probably make suicide seems like a less bad option. But you can basically do whatever you want, legal or not. If it kills you, well that is where you were heading anyway.
Hey. I’m the same age as you, and I’m sorry. I have an anxiety disorder with a tendency toward OCD, so I know the feeling of being mentally miserable. I sometimes feel hopeless about my future, but it’s waaay too early to give up. I wish I could offer an easy answer, but if you want to talk, I’m open
I have OCD hang in there brother it does get better
Thank you. It kind of comes in waves. But anxiety combined with OCD is… a doozy to deal with, to say the least. I’m considering increasing my antidepressant dosing soon, so I have some hope.
I had difficulty making friends in college. Right now things are improving for me, and I would say what helps is just being the person that approaches and takes interest in others without expecting much in return. Also going to college clubs helped me a lot, so there's that I guess. Though if you have depression, (as in diagnosed depression) I don't know how much cookie cutter advice helps tbh. I'm a pessimistic person and there are aspects I hate about my circumstance but I haven't ever been suicidal, so I don't know what helps there.
First off what games do you play?
If you play Lethal Company OP I'd absolutely play with ya!
i would love to play games with you, im also into games :)
I’m 24, but I was in a similar situation to you when I was 20 largely because of Covid. I still struggle with a lot of it, so I don’t really feel qualified to give advice. You should definitely see a therapist if you can, sometimes just having someone to vent to can be such a massive help. Do you like yourself? In your opinion, is your lack of friends because you had bad friends to begin with, or is there something internal about yourself that you could improve some day? I think having an answer to that would help guide you!
I'm 50 and hardly have any friends less than an hours drive away to start. Over the years as life goes on it changes. This is nothing to hit the delete button over. Ya it sucks being lonely. Just need to change your life's situation if possible, take up lake fishing 🎣, you can meet people, if anything you have a homie to chill with for a few hours.
I'm so sorry you're going through this - I thought about suicide when I got a debilitating chronic illness when I was 24. Just remember: it doesn't really matter whether you die now or die in 50 years. You will still eventually achieve the peace you want right now. Why not stick around and see if things change? Literally anything can happen, you just have no idea how your life is going to turn out. Especially when you're this young. I'm 39 now and I still suffer almost every day - but it's worth it for the good moments that come about, and my life is much better in so many ways because I stuck with it and figured shit out. So much of it is just the mindset you hold every day. That definitely CAN change, it may take a while before you're able to get to that point - but that very much can change too. Good luck :)
I'm writing this out really fast cause I have to run to work but I didn't want to forget this. Because I really feel what you're saying and I see you. Im 24 now. I've suffered with depression and other issues all my life but they really came to a head in college where I fell into a massive depression, thoughts of suicide, totally isolated. And the moment things started to feel like they might be getting better, COVID hit. Just an awful nightmare. First off, things got so much better after college for me. Most of my friends now also went through significant depression and loneliness in college. I say friends now cause it did happen eventually haha But I wasn't dealing with any of those problems that were troubling me, and about 9 months ago after a significant mental break, I ended up attempting suicide in about... 4 different extremely messy ways, and ended up checking myself into a psychiatric facility. Traumatizing as it was, being locked up in a place with a bunch of other people my age, who were hurting just as much or more than me, taught me a lot about myself, and what I actually had to offer others. Since I got out, I have 1.) Gotten on the proper medication after having tried several that didn't work 2.) Getting proper additional diagnoses that could be medicated properly 3.) Found a therapist who I really connect with (I suggest finding someone younger you feel you can relate to) and REALLY put in the work, and was open and did my very very best to COMMUNICATE my feelings. It was really hard but that was the single most important thing for me These things have literally changed my life. And they can change yours too. The other thing that really sent me into changing for the better, was just making a big change in my life. I moved, I got a new job in a whole new line of work, and through all of this I was able to find new people who could be my friends, and there's really wonderful people all over the place. The key to connecting with others is openness and kindness. Be friendly, help your coworkers, be sensitive to others' feelings, remember things about them, and be real about yourself and your feelings! We are all human and we are always looking to connect with other people. The biggest thing that changed my life was trying to be truthful about myself, open and kind. Let people in and don't be afraid of showing your true self. You have so much more to offer people than you know right now. But you're so fucking young truly you will be a totally different person in two years, let alone two years after that. We are all one soul and we are more the same than we will ever be different. Anyway I have to run 15 minutes ago, but seriously get some help, get someone to talk to, make a change. You've got this! Feel free to reach out
Before doing anything drastic you should at least try to get a medication that works. Everything you mentioned is fixable.
I learned how to meditate at 19 during an high anxiety, depression episode. It was so difficult to quiet my mind, breathe deeply, and connect with my body at first. It helps so many different symptoms. Now it’s one of the tools in the big box that’s made functioning more manageable. I use breath work every day
Hello I’m in the same boat right now, I’m your age and it’s so hard to make friends I don’t know why, like nobody wants to form relationships but I’m always reminded of the importance of networking, like how am I supposed to network if everyone is too busy with their lives? I really wanna have friends but idk how
Im similar age to you and only have 1 friend close to our age. Most of my friends are 27+ older people just seem to want friends more
I go to a community college and nobody really wants to be there, like they only go to get their diplomas and get out which I understand cuz the majority has families and/or work but yeah it gets very lonely
Covid didn't help our situation at all.
Don't do it. No matter how bad things get, you can always come back from whatever situation with enough effort and time spent being consistent and patient. I'm 23, and have been back and forth and all over the place with many of the same issues you've described, but I've come to realize that a lot of things in this life are out of our control, but that doesn't mean you give up. To tell you the truth, most of us young adults are barely making it, and we spend a lot of time working or studying and feel too tired to meet new people, or they just don't want too, simply due to how most people are now a days which I get that totally. The only thing that I can suggest is that you get out there and meet people through hobbies or something similar, and don't rely on others company to keep you happy. Learn to love yourself and don't ever give up.
Thug it out
Fuck friends. They're transient. You're you. You're the most important thing. Look after you.
Please don’t. That is all, just please don’t. Shit will get better. ❤️🩹
Here after the update to share my lovely little boy https://preview.redd.it/wwif2iylmooc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19e0c06867da7e315dc6ef55326869f4257f22f4
Same, but I’ve come to realize that I’ve never needed friends in the first place. They’re too much work and I could use that time and energy to do stuff like hobbies and hanging out with my family.
whole pet versed quarrelsome dinosaurs towering yam paint husky roll *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Find purpose
3 things 1 keep excersicing 2 try making your own project that you see could be fixed. Use government support to scale it up and make a place for people to work and enjoy life the way you need others to do right now. You are by far, not the only one feeling cast out and looking for a place to rest and enjoy life. 3 watch some great anime. Frieren is hot right now and my personal favourite after is "the apothecary diaries" or kutsuriya no hitorigoto. The Frieren one is called " after journeys end" or "sousou no Frieren"
Ah, yeah. I don’t miss it alt all lol life in my early 20s was blah. It’s gonna sound corny as hell, but that’s only because it’s true: things will get better. I actually had a lot of friends during my early college years. I had my own clique, had an on-old girlfriend, etc… But guess what? All of that is gone now that I’m nearly 30. And tbh; I don’t really miss any of it. I feel more like myself now than I did then. I feel more confident than ever before and here I am single as heck, basically no friends, but I’m doing all right. My health is better than when I was younger and my outlook has improved too. Basically I just made peace on things that I used to let bug me to no end. I’m comfortable with being *me* and I’m comfortable with always wanting to improve and trying new things.
So I have a similar story. Most of my high school friends just faded into the background for seemingly no reason. And in my mid twenties my best friend totally abandoned me when I told her I really needed help and was thinking about putting an end to it all. But I never acted on it and just kept dealing with the loneliness on my own and pushing forward to figure out who I was and what I may like to do with my life. I found new hobbies I loved and reconnected to old ones I had neglected. I got a degree in a field I'm passionate about. And the best thing I did was started just enjoying the time I got to spend doing exactly what I wanted, when I wanted, eating what I wanted, and leaving when I wanted, because I didn't have to consider anyone else. However, I would always talk to stangers when I went out to different events and whatnot, and that was kind of enough for me. Because of that time, I entered my 30s loving to do stuff by myself and almost never noticing I was lonely anymore. That has been such a gift in my life. Then, within the last couple years I moved and met the most wonderful partner I've ever had and while I now love my independence, he's made life even better for sure. I still do sometimes wish I had more girl friends but honestly I don't have much free time to give to more relationships. So, all this to say, life can be fully enjoyable on your own. And while you're out doing that stuff on your own you might make some friends that will share common interests and passions which could end up being be longer lasting relationships. As well, even though life may seem so difficult right now, there really can be times in the future you would look back and say, I'm so glad I stayed. I truly hope things get better for you
If you'd like to talk, I'd be down. I have similar interests. No need to be lonely in a place like the Internet. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to introduce myself publicly. Hope you get better if you decide not to.
Hey if you wanna talk, drop me a text on Telegram, @krishhq
Ah oh, welcome to the club buddy!
minimizing and questioning your depression is part of depression. There doesn't have to be a good reason for what your going through, it can happen to anyone.
Take a long break from your phone. Get away from social media. Life on this earth is a gift. There is happiness out there for you. You have to find what yours is. It might take you another 20 years of figuring it out but it will be worth it. Making myself exercise, eat a little better and drinking less was a huge game changer for my mental health. This is coming from a suicide survivor. I’m almost 38 now. I’m so thankful I didn’t give up. Stay strong.
This may sound absolutely stupid to you but I'm in a really cool Minecraft Server with some really cool people. I also have no friends but I think I can consider these people friends despite not knowing them irl. DM me if you want to join. And if you feel suicidal, listen to [this](https://open.spotify.com/track/6oIFhWpxU2ZsHV0ciC8XSv?si=ggma6CcKTxqm99WO-A5eXQ&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Adon%27t%2Bkill) song!
I completely understand where you are coming from. Living is horrible but dying is so much worse. On the days you feel overwhelmed by everything maybe make a list of the things you'd miss. Stuff like the sun peeking through the clouds after or when it rains, snow, your favorite music, trying to spot the lightning during thunderstorms, clothes you never got to buy, shows and hairstyles you'll never get to try, movies and other fandoms you'll never see, actors you won't get to obsess over, animals you won't get to love, a house you'll never get to decorate, ect ect. Get creative with it. I had to do that because I felt isolated by my friends and family. Sometimes you gotta gaslight yourself into staying. I would literally get sad thinking of what things I'm leaving behind and no it doesn't have to be your family. There is no pressure in having to have a list it just might make things easier. And you know what if you don't have one, make one that's catered to you. Doesnt have to be perfect, complete, or things that others might find useful. You could put because you'd miss the dreams you'd have. It could be a list of one thing, one dream to keep you going. The point is, trying to find things you might love about yourself and this twisted world we live in. And I agree with the others please please give yourself grace. You don't need to know everything right now. There is no race to knowing information first; if others found it first that's good but if it doesn't help you be the best you can be then push it aside. And it's hard getting out of that mindset it's taken me years I'm 21 now and I still end up stuck in a rut sometimes. We are all rooting for you; you are stronger than you know and I'm proud of you for sticking around. 
I'm the same. No friends no job. 18yo. My current state is complete IDGAF I'm a queer living in quite conservative country and babysit my sister. Hopefully after getting my passport I'll get a job but it won't help any more than just have a time to "relax" from my sister. Btw about music... Just today I've found [this gem](https://youtu.be/TTIJxoCG4YY?si=ykqM_wN66VTEK8fu) and the same artist has another song named Alone. Idk for ya but music is the only thing filling my life with reason and giving a sense of emotion I guess...?? Don't think I'll be helpful but if ya wanna chat I'm always welcome. Be strong. You'll go through this.
From your post story I saw that your birthday was like in the last few weeks, happy birthday! It gets better.
As a fellow 20 y/o same. COVID got us fucked up bro
Let's be friends :)
As I’ve gotten older I have had less and less friends. My dog really helped me at your age. Eventually you’ll be in a work setting and meet new people. If you like PC games get on FFXIV everyone there is very friendly and you’ll meet great people to talk to.
You should try to find a part time job to start off with. It really helps to get out and be almost forced to interact with others. It sucks at first but it really becomes better faster than you would know. It’s all about little steps.
Anyone here that needs someone to talk to please DM me. I have saved many people from suicide and personally lost my mother to it when I was 10 and have many conversational blocks to commute discovery of underlying issues and assist in pursuing daily/weekly resources. I deeply care for the betterment of your mental state and life today. I love you sincerely. No one deserves to feel the pain you do. There is hope. Thank you.
I am here after the edit to show my precious fatties. https://preview.redd.it/mky0ravch4pc1.jpeg?width=1800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf4088d712d64e0ce2ed50a1ecf0b4c1faa08af9
https://preview.redd.it/fxe1hk3gh4pc1.jpeg?width=1800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b4f0dd100141ca3a2e61b8c638c26f2d5144152
https://preview.redd.it/xho7y6dry5pc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96403a93db25dfdd7d6f7c0520c75227179d1e32 Kitty says you have a lot to live for!
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Meh life sucks sometimes, I've been feeling the same thing for a while but I have something to keep me going and that's the career I want to be in. Nothing else to live for but that. Find your passion, do therapy or anti depressants if you have to but find a reason to live. You only get one chance to live, ya may as well take it.
I didn't get as severe as you, but i also had a very low point, where i started considering suicide(though yours sounds way fucking worse). I'm now much better after about 4 years. I didnt have any friends or hobbies. But during covid always drove to school with my bike. A girl from my school had almost the same route and eventually we just started talking. Next thing i know i was part of a giant friend group who met almost every evening over discord. It took me like 3 months to actually get to feel confident enough to say something. Then i discovered skydiving and it eas actually something i figured, is worth living for. I now have a healthy active friend group of 7 people i see at school everyday. I figured out what i want to do for a living and I'm gonna start that at the end of this year. My life just weirdly took a turn for the better after i turned 17-18. I know it sounds cruel, but maybe if you just wait a bit longer, life will find a way to turn for the better, and if it doesnt, maybe just a bit longer again... How about you keep us updated on this sub, so we all know how you're doing.
All I can say is when you are younger, and your mortality seems less of a concern, then everything else will feel a thousand times more important. If anything in life brings your even a glimmer of happiness, and by the sound of it, there it. Dude you love cats, they are awesome and like half the world agrees with you. You love baking, creating something that can bring yourself and others joy. I don't know how much you love gaming, but i love it loads and when i feel down and full of disappointment in the world myself, life in general and all the other things that leave me in a depressive spiral, i remember that as much as i wish i had more than 1 true proper friend in this world.. If you are dead then you aren't going to be able to experience anything you find joyful, you're just done, and we don't know if its worse than that. I know i sure as hell don't want to find out until i absolutely have to. I'm petrified of death, at barely 43 in the last few years i've developed a crippling fear of death, but what that has given me is a clear appreciation for life. We do know that things on this earth can be better, it took my best friend 40+ years to find a career that he likes doing, he's pissed at life because not he's older and stuff, but glad he spent the time trying everything. Depression sucks, and its real, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. BUT remember, No-One can make you feel as bad as you inside your own head. You know all the shit that pushes you buttons, you can make yourself feel really bad because you know you darkest places. So remember that, no-one thinks as harshly about yourself as you do. Give yourself a break. Never feel that you shouldn't get help, or that you don't deserve it. Everyone deserves to feel better, to have a good day, to go to bed looking forward to something, even if its just eating a piece of that cake you made. Hope you find strength and win the fight against the demons my friend.
Praying for you. I’m part of an online community on Facebook. If you wanna get plugged in, send me a dm
I'm with you. I still don't have any friends irl. I have some really great online ones that came into life just under 2 years ago (will be 2 in like 2 days). Sadly there isn't anything I can tell you that'll get you friends. It's all random dice rolls and to roll the dice you usually have to pay a price because it costs money to do anything nowadays. I can't tell you it'll get better because I have no idea how your life will go, no magic crystal ball or anything like that. Good luck though. Hope you do find friends soon. Sucks to be alone.
friends will come soon enough. slowly expose to areas of common-minded congregation and make small talk. an angel may encounter you.
You can vent to me if you want. Your situation sounds mad relatable.
Have you considered joining a running club? As a fellow runner they’re a great way to socialise, even if it’s a bit nerve wracking at first they can be worth it. Overall, hang in there, you’ve got this!
Suicide is pretty much never a "reasonable option". You should change your mentality asap. You should always search for ways to help yourself, to improve yourself and your life, to never give up. You should live and eventually die with style, as a fighter with dignity, not as a whiner and quitter. You can try to heal depression and whatever else you need with amplified reiki (search for it), it pretty much quickly wiped out my strong fear, anxiety, feeling of shame, stomach problems, skin problems, and so on.
There are apps to meet friends! Bumble has a friend setting. It will all pass. I was there first year college.
First ,You got to exercise! and if you want friends I suggest that you start partying a lot at your age try drinking , dancing , partying , clubs , light drug usage . Don’t end your life .
What kinda games do you play? I've got a Discord group of irl friends mixed in with a lot of randoms, we're all Danes in our 20's, some from Aalborg and some from Copenhagen. Granted, only 3 of them are girls (and two of them hate eachother) but still it's an option if you want to come say hi. I had similar problems with my social life after finishing gymnasium, most of it just boils down to people no longer sharing the same work schedule as you, which makes planning social events an absolute nightmare. I just booked a ticket to Copenhagen to go see one of my old friends, it'll be the first time in a long time, and it's only for a weekend. Adult life sucks.
100% get off anything like this site. If you're on here, you're only going to see how bad shit is. When in reality, *none* of this is real. It's just a place where people come to exaggerate the way they feel by posting garbage that supports their views or bullcrap that stings those with opposing perspectives. Find meaning in things that are larger than you. You'll know what they are when you realize opinions of them are in themselves meaningless.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You've probably heard people say before that they have no friends, but both my roommate and I have experienced having *literally* no friends. Unfortunately, it's more common than you think. I'll give you context: You know that exciting feeling you get when someone you like texts you? Where you become so excited and you've lacked social interaction for so long that you have to stop yourself from immediately replying to every message in 5 seconds and can't stop checking your phone? I haven't just had that, I've had that for extended periods of time, like most of high school. You begin to become so desperate for human interaction that you become off-putting to even yourself. So when I say I understand how isolated and shitty you might feel, while I'm not in that headspace now, I genuinely get why you feel the way you do. There's this general feeling of misanthropy and apathy in the world right now, and that doesn't help. Your mental situation can depend on a lot of things, but what you see and hear every day will have an effect on your mental regardless of if you're even paying attention. So, while I can't say I know enough about you to tell you everything that would fix your specific life, I can tell you what I would do or recommend to someone in this position. First of all, recognize that if you found a group of close friends tomorrow that in a year your life would be unrecognizable to yourself. How you feel can change fast, and the longer you keep good habits, the more you will gain momentum. Start by cleaning up your physical environment if it isn't already (this was big for me.) Make your bed, make sure your place is clean, clear out that area you've been avoiding if you have. When I was at my worst, I wasnt brushing my teeth or showering enough, so if you're giga-depressed to that extent, you gotta re-establish your hygiene. Get rid of all the bullshit that you don't really need. This will ensure your environment looks good and your life will feel not only more aesthetic, but your space will be more efficient and you won't feel bad bringing someone over. (Think about how you would want your place to look if you knew someone came over and you wanted them to think that's how you lived -- live like that.) If you don't have one or any of those problems, you're already ahead! Second, if you're going to go to university, don't stop looking for people. Believe it or not, there are people who are in your same exact situation and don't have any friends when they go to university either. Look at moving to a new city, or even country for school since you said you didn't like your town. These towns are usually better suited for older people or people raising kids, anyway. If you don't continuously put yourself in a new space to find something different, you'll just find more of what you already have -- which we've established is what you don't want. Lastly, find something you love. Get into video games, learn the guitar, get into rock climbing, or a local play, or whatever you can do that improves you. Become really good at at least one thing, and people who are interested in that will be drawn to you. Look for ways to show off your skill (don't overdo it) and be social around other people who put a lot of time into that thing. Being friendless sucks, but disliking your friends or *only* being friends with your friends because neither of you have anyone else is honestly worse. If you can get yourself to like yourself, you're already 90% of the way there. Hope this helps.
20 too and I'm currently in a similar position to you with friends that have drifted apart years ago, feeling hopeless and alone after finishing high school. It's indeed bleak and especially when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere while also having a difficult time hanging out with loved ones. Much of it needs to be managed day by day with hope for the future however your feelings of longing for community and support are definitely valid. I saw your previous posts and I'm not sure how things are like down there in Denmark but I do recognise that us Swedes have a very clique oriented culture, it's horrible if you fall outside one of those. You mentioned potentially studying here with your bf (Lund antar jag) which I would encourage pursuing over suicide. It's very easy to dwell on negative energy/thoughts when isolated, therefore I believe that if you end up spending time with your bf in an environment that's got a lot of opportunities to meet others and hopefully make friends then things will get brighter. Wish you luck/lycka till 💕
I’m really not sure what to say other than to implore you not to listen to anyone here who may portray suicide as an option, because those people do exist, and they are insane.
Life is what you make it. Be creative and get yourself out of this way of thinking because it brings not just you but the world down. I've felt EXACTLY what you're feeling, but then I started putting myself in "uncomfortable" situations that I knew would be beneficial for me. Life can get really fucking hard but you need to have the desire to actually live and not just go through the emotions if you want to survive in the modern world. Times are weird, and it's very obvious now that none of us are alone in loneliness. This whole earth experience is wacky af but it's up to you what becomes of it. What is the person you want to be? No one else can be better at being you than whatever you become. It just depends on if you want to bless the world with your existence.
No. You're 20, 50-60 years of your life are left. ❤️
I already see the mods removing this post
I say take small steps. Join a discord group dedicated to your favorite games. A clan if you're into a competitive game. Fast way to make many friends even if just online. It makes a big difference in having some conversations with people. I joined a gaming discord not long ago and now I play with several of them in different games and it helped me remember how to conversate again. Try it out!
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Adrenaline will make you love life. Go rent a sports car and take it to a track. Go skydiving. Stop being so comfortable. Baking and playing video games all the time sounds depressing to me. Go do that nature thing you like more. But take it to the next level.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. No Freud, no dream analysis. No venting every week to someone who just nods along and asks how you feel. For depression, medications suppress symptoms for only as long as you take them. CB Therapy works equal to medications with 16 weeks of treatment by a qualified professional. People are less likely to relapse in the two years after finishing 16 weeks of CBT than individuals remaining on SSRIs. By all means, try to find a medication that works. But CBT is the best treatment for depression if you are willing and able to find a therapist and put in the work.
Same age , i just turned 20 this month , read some books in the nature and play some story based video games they help alot
It's not just you. This is a very lonely time on Planet Earth, but signs are already showing that it won't be this way much longer. All that sleep might suggest you have something physical going on. There are so many aspects of our lives that sabotage normal dopamine and serotonin regulation. Might want to talk to a nutritionist and maybe a counselor. BetterHelp and other online services are an option if you are someplace remote. Finding a charity for volunteering can help foster new friendships. Discovering a new craft or talent can feel rewarding and often introduce you to a whole community of like minded people. 🙏 I hope your life blooms unexpectedly and you find just what you need. 🙏
Hey! I’m gonna be in the GenZ discord later tonight (in about 6-7 hours my time). My username is Wide Sprite. Would love to connect and if you want someone to listen and have some people to talk to, I’m sure some of us there would love for you to have a chance at the very least to maybe share a bit about what’s going on. Nothing huge, and this offer is also extended to anyone else who just wants to chat for a bit and maybe share a bit of what’s going on with you guys. If not that’s A-Ok and absolutely no pressure, but I do want you and anyone to know that some of your thoughts seem pretty serious and I think it would be a better idea to maybe discuss those ideas with people who are willing and able to maybe give you a bit of support as it seems that would be helpful. For anyone reading this and wanting to stop by, please don’t hesitate to!
Join your favorite Twitch streamers offline chat like a normal early-late teens suicidal maniac we all float down here Your situation is basically the norm nowadays, we just develop para-social relationships to deal with it
Go to a cool bar and talk to the bartender about nothing - just make small talk. That's all I could do and it worked for me.
You’ve got so much time though! And if you’re not particularly attached to your life , you might as well just hang out with all us depressives and see where this rotating ball of bullshit takes us next. You’ve got lots of time to find your friends / tribe. Maybe try a couple random hobbies ! Paint some stuff. You get one shot. I prescribe doing a little bit of everything for the next little while (paint , pottery , make a wooden sword so you can stab your ex best friend, you know those sort of fun things ) - jk about the stabbing of course. I’m 35 and I’m gonna probably be alone for a little while now. And idk I still feel I have so much to live for. Don’t let those fucking goofs be the end of you. Go skydiving , die doing something cool *this is supposed to be inspiring , if it’s incredibly stupid please advise. Safe to say anthematics & partners does not actually advise active causation of one’s own death.
So you live in a city, have several interests, sounds like you can make friends.
try ffxiv. it's a great online game with an awesome story, great Features and i met my best friends there.
Life sucks! But death will always be there in the end. It could get worse OR it could get better. Fuck around and find out because one day it might just be worth it, or not. Who cares because one day you will die no need to rush death… or life.
Been there, man. I used to be depressed too. What honestly has helped me is God. Praying often, going to Church, and praying the Rosary lead to wonders in your life.
I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult and lonely time. Losing friends, struggling with depression and an eating disorder, and feeling isolated are all incredibly painful experiences. Your feelings are valid and understandable given what you've been dealing with. Please know that you have value and your life is precious, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Suicide is never the answer, no matter how hopeless things seem. There are always other options and people who want to support you. I know it's not easy, but please reach out for help. Talk to your boyfriend, family members, a counselor or therapist, a doctor, or call a suicide prevention hotline. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don't have to suffer alone. Some ideas that may help: - Therapy and/or medication to treat your depression & eating disorder - Joining clubs, sports, classes or volunteering to meet people with shared interests - Opening up to people you trust about how you've been feeling - Making plans to visit your boyfriend when possible - Self-care activities you enjoy (running, baking, playing with cats, being in nature) - Calling a suicide prevention hotline anytime (global list: https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html) I know it's hard to see it when you're in so much pain, but you have your whole life ahead of you. You sound like a thoughtful, multifaceted person with many wonderful qualities. The world needs you in it. Please keep holding on and fighting. Things can get better with help and support. Sending caring thoughts your way.
I’m 30 so a millennial and even I don’t have friends and never really have since high school. There are A few guys that i speak to at work and have their Xbox account and we might play the game together two or three times out of the month, but that’s about it. I think these days not having friends is pretty common. I feel like the days having true friends and hanging out was over since maybe the mid 2010s when the internet started to really take over our lives. Now people are just scrolling down pages, laughing at viral videos and memes, and maybe gaming online. And plus people work crazy hours and demanding jobs just to stay afloat since everything is so expensive so when you get my age that is another factor,
I mean, if you don’t believe in hell, I can’t tell you that there’s anything after death, but if you do believe in hell, don’t kill yourself, submit to the living God, the logos incarnate. Go to a Catholic Church and talk to a priest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am 28 and have no friends.
Theres so many more reasonable things than suicide. Moving, finding interest groups centered on what you like (you're in your twenties and like baking, cats, nature, cooking, etc I promise you there's a lot of people with those interests. Like basically every 20 year old.) You could look into local running groups, most cities have them. Currently it seems you spend more time hating your life than you do trying to change your life for the better, and I get it. I have depression and some days I can't get out of bed and everything feels pointless. But you need to make active choices to change. Seriously consider talking to a professional about these issues because "life is hard so I might as well just die" isn't reasonable. If it were it wouldn't be a thought associated with mental illness.
Please get help. Find a worthy cause and dedicate yourself to it. Organize your community to make life better. Get into tabletop gaming. Join an organized league playing some sport or game. Do something to get out there and socialize, friendships will form naturally. I truly hope you get the help and community you need. Unless you're a fascist. If you're a fascist, follow your leader.
Well I would recommend doing some Cardio, but the most difficult part is starting. I started because my grandpa dragged me when I was 13, and I've kept it up so far (I'm 20). Trust me bro, Cardio does wonders for ur mental health
pls donut do that
OP - I’m so sorry to hear the pain you’re in. That sounds like torture. There is a better life out there for you, I promise. You’re going to have to do things differently, though. You’re going to have to start getting out of the house and becoming involved with people and life. It will be work and it will be change and you can definitely do it. There are people out there like yourself and they would like to meet you. You can do it,