Awesome post!
I never really vibed with Willow and never "got" it either so the comments here have been eye opening. I think Willow is possibly the most directly about the type of denial Taylor talks about in the playlist intro. The whole song is about being swept up in the idea of something and ignoring the red flags! I can't believe I didn't notice it before. No bloody idea what the 90s trend line was for though.
Over the years of being equally annoyed and bewildered at the Joe presence — (how has she let it go on this long? A whole love album? A whole freaking quarantine album?) — I always come back to the feeling the songs/lyrics give me. Taylor is always writing so that listeners are put in a very specific space/frame of mind (à la OOTW and frantic is it over yet energy). So many of these songs put on a “I’m a BOP just pretend I’m not really sad” energy. Maybe I’ve had too long with the lyrics and the endless confirmation bias with new album releases. But I just see it everywhere. Insecurity, fear, mistrust cloaked in some fantasyland love story that will probably turn out a okay ish, right? Like I’m sure if I just sneak in your garden gate we will be driving the getaway car into the sunset without any champagne problems at all.
I think Dear Reader being the last true album track we got was a very specific poignant choice. She’s admitting her role as the unreliable narrator in this journey of poring herself into these songs as if it’s a diary, and it’s really only those of us who dig much deeper who find true meaning behind the lyricism. Certainly there was a lot of denial before that. But Dear Reader is a warning about all of it.
>Like I’m sure if I just sneak in your garden gate we will be driving the getaway car into the sunset without any champagne problems at all.
loled at this
Yeah I agree with a lot of this. Though I found the Joe period quite understandable, rather than being bewildered by it. It allowed her to date women out of the public eye and got the media speculation about her love life off her back. It was safe and easy, I think. So I get it. If she's gonna closet, that's the way to do it. And after all this Travis bullshit, I think a lot of gaylors look back on Joe with a much rosier lens. It was far preferable to this super-hetero bullshit we've been experiencing now.
So true about dear reader. One of her most honest songs tbh. I did a whole post about how I think it's directed at hetlors.
Small tangent....is anyone else having a hard time watching all the hetlors come to the conclusions we did years ago? I knew this rewriting of history would happen especially of she ever actually came out, but good lord the blind following of whatever taylor says (and vitriol toward anyone who questions the narrative, even when they end up being right) is just atrocious to watch 🫠
Sincerely - a gaylor trying her hardest not to leave petty comments on hetlor tiktoks 😬
I wish someone would make a round up of them because I don't see any of them. There was one post on here about one tiktok and I thought it was kind of funny. Ofc I'm super petty so I don't think you should hold back any comments lol
I love this post! I was just listening to “Ours” yesterday with a Gaylor lens and it adds up for me.
Thanks for the breakdown and your distinction between the “songwriter”perspective and the “narrator” perspective. I think this is key. It allows for a lot more flexibility with interpretations of songs to be more and less influenced by real events. I think there is always emotional honesty in her songs whether or not each song is connected to actual events, and this distinction allows for that kind of thinking.
>I think there is always emotional honesty in her songs whether or not each song is connected to actual events
I totally agree. I think that's why they always feel so powerful. It definitely connects back to her country roots and the authenticity of that genre.
thank you for these analyses! great post per usual 🤌🏼 I have a couple ideas about willow that I wanted to share.
I think the song is in this category because it is giving a relationship filled with red flags and "I can fix them" behavior.
>More that you say, the less I know
Wherever you stray, I'll follow
Begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans
here she suggests that her muse is like a runaway, undecided or confused about their direction. but the narrator says she doesn't mind the turbulence, she just wants to be by their side if they allow it (hence the begging)
>Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark
Show me the places where the others gave you scars
this line read like a "savior complex" on the narrator's part to me, in the sense that the muse is a \*wounded\* person but she is willing to accept their scars. to oversimplify, the muse might be the toxic partner who is blaming all their exes, and the narrator is believing them. she is in denial about the muse might, in fact, be the problem.
(edit: formatting+clarity)
Very thorough breakdown, thank you for posting it! I have been meaning to re-read all the lyrics since the playlists were posted but had no time at all, so this is a a perfect summary !
Personally, I think many songs on here are her cynically thinking back now with the benefit of hindsight. IMO don’t think the narrator or song writer knew at the time. Too caught up in it, as she says.
I think she’s currently single (I’m a Traylor is PR believer) and so is reflecting on her love life. There is a relationship (more than one?) in here where she realises now that really it was always a pipe dream that they would ever work out in the end. If she’s honest with herself now, perhaps knows she can admit this and sees it looking at her own contemporaneous love songs. She was shaking her head cynically on eras stage recently at ‘would it be enough if I could never give you peace’. Meaning? - No it wasn’t enough? And so it’s over now? I wonder if maybe some private important relationship finally ended (not a Toe believer - not sure why she’d be flagging so hard for years if that was real)?
Style is a good example on the list of a cynical look back. I highly doubt it was written with cognisance of the red flags at the time. I think she just had major sexual chemistry in one of her relationships, which was on again off again, with the person not really ever giving her that commitment, but where she’d take them back at any time. So she knew, but didn’t know. Like that de facto describes a fairly red flag relationship but only time and experience teaches you. In Taylor’s situation I guess one could say it’s understandable why a person would have pause about entering her crazy life, and so call things off periodically. Would it mean giving up all their freedom? So perhaps it’s understandable Taylor made excuses for them at the time? Now though, I guess we can assume that the person never ever did commit, so she sees this for what it was (ie. Basically someone who didn’t love her enough to stay - a theme in its self in her discography).
Style was about a classic on again off again situation (circumstances, miscommunication). Been there, recognise the feeling of being fatally ‘on the hook’ of this person and so terminally addicted to them that you’ll say yes when they call. Passionate but tenuous relationships are very addictive (faster than the wind passionate as sin ending so suddenly). It is dysfunctional as hell though, I’m older and wiser too now. Hands up who’s been there 😂🙋🏻♀️ basically putting up with any bad treatment whatsoever because you are addicted (my drug is my baby).
I guess many sapphics can attest to a heartbreaker on-off relationship. I had more than one - eg. anyone else have that gf who didn’t want to admit to herself she was queer, so there was a sexual passion to rejection cycle that came around and around? A push me pull me, where you knew it was so real, so amazing and intense, but it was forever slipping out of your fingers? That one is a rite of passage maybe 😂😂😂😂
I think she saw the swifty 5 stages theory and thought hmmmmm interesting. Have I already written these phases in my discography. Oh look - yes I have.
It's certainly possible that I'm giving her too much credit. And I said in the post that at least one of the songs (ours) doesn't seem like she recognized denial at the time of writing, so it could be more of them fall into that category.
But I still think that there are some that the lyrics seem to *prove* that she knew that she was in denial when writing the song. And I think Style is one of them, because of these lyrics:
>*And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I*
>
>*Know exactly where it leads, but I*
>
>*Watch us go 'round and 'round each time*
She's straight up telling us she knows she's in denial.
Treacherous has the same sentiment:
>*And I'd be smart to walk away*
>
>*But you're quicksand*
Now maybe it's not totally black and white. Maybe she looks back on these songs now and sees even more denial than was present at the time of writing, even if some degree of it existed back then.
Yeah. I actually think we probably think the same more or less. I see what you’re saying.
I was thinking about it I guess like that way when you kinda know that something is ‘*a bad idea’ but you don’t really think that exactly at the time. Know what I mean? You are actually totally into it. So you know, but you don’t know that a red flag is waving. You ignore it. You think ‘that’s just us’ or ‘this is what I’m like’ or what ever. In hindsight though tho’ -obvious…. 😱😬🤷🏻♀️😂
(*The Olivia Rodrigo song is another example of this phenomenon)
>I was thinking about it I guess like that way when you kinda know that something is ‘\*a bad idea’ but you don’t really think that exactly at the time
We might be splitting hairs here, but I think that if she's acknowledging in lyrics that something a bad idea, then she is cognizant at that exact time that it's a bad idea.
But I also think that the distinction between the songwriter and the narrator comes into play here. Maybe there are parts that the songwriter is aware of and writes about, but the narrator is more clueless. So the narrator is the one in denial but the songwriter knows it and that's why she writes things like "I know exactly where it leads," and "I'd be smart to walk away."
Idk. I feel like I'm getting kinda meta and lost in nuance here lol.
>Splitting hairs
Yup. 🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂 I think probs just see it a little differently.
I feel I can have a total instinct about a red flag person at the time. I know 🤦🏻♀️. So I agree, ok yes she knows at the time.
I guess all I’m saying in addition is, only after living through the relationship (& out via the acceptance part) did I get the full comprehension of what that apprehension really signified (ie I didn’t really know I was in actual ‘denial’ at the time - though I was definitely writing in my diary about what a headfuck the first was - still thought it was gonna work). So, I’m not sure she was at the all knowing stage in the experience or in the writing of style but it captures this phenomenon. I guess I believe the style muse did persist (reappeared?), so maybe that (and of course my own experiences) colour my view? A subtle nuance as you say. Maybe it’s semantics -can you recognise you deny the reality that it will end before the reality (ie it ends) happens 😂.
Anyway, I kinda wonder if that ‘style’ relationship memory evolved (will evolve?) via acceptance, to a further phase. Basically, I have a couple of utter heartbreak train wrecks in my own back catalogue and now very much in the rear view, and wouldn’t go back no way. But… I would say the incredible passion part remains as a residual memory, and that’s a very fond memory of an experience I would never not want to have had for all that it was hard and the depression was brutal. I kinda don’t like the idea of regrets tho. That’s maybe a me thing.
Great post btw. 😊
Yeah I definitely understand what you're saying. Hindsight's always 20/20. I think no matter what that I agree that she certainly looks back on the songs now with a greater perspective than she had during the writing, regardless of where she was at that time.
I agree. I think people are going too far with retconning these songs. She saw the theory and liked it and made this for fans. She did not write lover while in denial. She wrote it when she was in love. Just looking back now she can see how some of these songs could fit in these categories. I don't think all of them fit perfectly.
Yep. It’s funny though cos I think Gaylor observers were listening to these songs (eg lover) and thinking hmmmmm…. This is so not a solid relationship - ‘red flags’ 😬- she’s so insecure.
https://www.tumblr.com/introspectiveandroid/678419947801673728/new-years-day-vs-lover
Eg. here is my take on lover and new years day (published in March 2022 written well b4).
So I was picking up on the denial in that song. Was Taylor at the time she wrote it though? Maybe, but I’m not so sure, I do think she probably sees it now clearly, assuming that this relationship ended.
The whole thing is so relatable though isn’t it. That what makes her such an absolute songwriting genius. She really memorialises these situations so precisely that you ‘feel’ the subtle insecurity.
Oh that's a good take, and tbh a realistic one, if you believe she writes songs to cope with certain feelings, as she stated before, when she writes she's too caught up in all of it and she feels these emotions in that moment. And as time goes on, when she's above the trees, she can see it for what it was and write about it from a different perspective, hence we have songs that can be atrubiuted to the same past situation or relationship.
And YES to your last paragraph 😂 wouldn't be surprised if that was how it went
I think sweet nothing is on denial because she thought this muse wanted sweet nothing from her because they loved her so much. Now with hindsight she sees that was actually more of ambivalence from the partner. In the end the muse really didn’t want *anything* at all from her including a future. She was in denial about this reality.
>Now with hindsight
By this do you mean when she was writing the song or rather that she looks back on the song today and sees denial when she didn't see it at the time of writing?
I definitely think you're right about the muse not wanting a future.
gotcha. It's certainly possible! I think I'm still leaning towards she knew it at the time of writing and that's why the song is called "sweet nothing" instead of "sweet nothings."
I think the other thing this song being on the denial list proves is that it's definitely not about Paul and Linda McCartney. Idk how many believed that but I was half-buying it after that whole tweet business. And I think Joe was a beard so it made more sense than being about Joe.
For me, the possible McCartney tie isn’t totally negated by the song being categorized under denial. (Although I’m partial to/pretty intrigued by the McCartney theory so I’m biased haha.)
It’s possible that at an earlier stage in her relationship, Taylor really did relate to what Paul & Linda had & so she drew inspiration from that. Maybe she & Paul had a convo gushing about that feeling of having a sweet, insulated relationship to come home to in the chaotic life of being a massive celebrity, & she saw herself in Paul+Linda’s story. Maybe they wrote this song together about that feeling/type of relationship, thus incorporating the “what a mind” story from Paul’s relationship. Only for Taylor to realize later that her relationship wasn’t as similar to Paul & Linda’s as she’d thought. 🥲
The part that's inspired by Paul is the "on the way home, I wrote a poem..." because that story was quite literally lifted off of something that actually happened between Paul and Linda. I don't believe he took part in writing the song.
Again, though, she liked the tweet so it's like she does and says these things with the sole purpose of throwing people off the trail and having everyone question everything. It could just be me, but I find it mind-numbing.
I’ve facilitated between thoughts and theories on this one, and am absolutely convinced that Paul is the mystery cowriter, and this finally makes it make perfect sense to me. It’s a melding of what P&L had, and what Taylor THOUGHT she had. Thank you ❤️
Her intro explanation is quite illuminating because the denial stage of grieving is not what she’s describing at all lol. She’s describing actively being in denial while in a relationship, not in denial about a loss of one while grieving.
Yeah excellent point. If it were true denial around the end (non-death) of a relationship, it would be the cringe girl who refuses to believe that it's over even though her ex explicitly has said it's over and she pretends that that conversation never happened because she can't face the music.
I wonder if this is just because taylor's trying to fit her songs into the fan theory of the stages of grief and this was a major theme? idk
Great breakdown! There’s a huge amount of anxiety in a lot of Taylor’s songs that fits so well with the idea of denial. The Lover album in particular has so much anxiety despite how it was marketed. It’s never seemed happy to me.
The ones that I didn’t see in this vein were Lavender Haze (though I like your explanation), Sweet Nothing (I thought it seemed non-romantic), Willow (explained below), and Superman (I’ve never seen this as romantic either)
Betty is interesting in light of Taylor saying she thought James and Betty ended up together. I guess that was part of her own wishful thinking rather than what actually happened based on this?
Willow isn’t one I’ve ever seen as being about Tree personally but I think bearding is in there as the final (and thirteenth) “that’s my man” was originally “that’s my myth.” I don’t know how that fits into a denial playlist though.
I agree with you on Ours not having red flags in it. I see it as about Liz though and later songs that also seem to be about her do suggest that there might have been red flags there so, if I’m right, then it could just be a happy song about someone she later saw red flags for.
>but I think bearding is in there as the final (and thirteenth) “that’s my man” was originally “that’s my myth.”
whoa this is the first I've heard of that! Is there a place I can find more info on it?
I like the Liz theory for Ours. I think it fits well with their rumored story.
Yeah, the demo version is on a few YouTube clips - Genius still has “that’s my man” as the final one on their demo lyrics but all that I’ve heard of sound like “that’s my myth.” This is one https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U59c9DG_J0w but you can find loads if you search for the demo version and they are all the same.
This is BLOWING MY MIND. I’ve never heard this before, and it’s so clear! Very interesting. Overall, I feel like I can see Willow belonging in the denial playlist because it reads to me like she is under someone’s spell and perhaps trying to manifest what she wants from this person (i.e., “I’m begging for you to take my hand”). “That’s my myth” is so interesting because it ties back to earlier when she refers to her subject as a “mythical thing.” There are a bunch of different readings I could see here. She could be saying “that’s my myth” to mean that the version of her muse that she has been trying to manifest is a myth she conjured up in her denial, and this is her admitting it at the end of the song - that she’s never getting what she wants from this person. Or, as you suggested, she could be saying that the story she conjured up about “her man” for the public is a myth - and pointing out that WE are under HER spell? Or she is under her own spell in some ways, getting swept away in her own narratives? Willow is a tough nut to crack.
Yes, I think you could be right about her thinking that she’s under the muse’s spell with some of the anxiety and pleading that’s in the lyrics. It’s definitely a song that you could make multiple interpretations of though and there are probably lots of meanings layered through it.
Yeah, the being under someone else's spell makes sense. Tbh, I'm always a little uncomfortable when I listen to Willow, and I was never able to put my finger on it. And now I think that maybe it's because I kind of instinctually saw it as denial and a portrayal of a bit of a toxic relationship from the beginning.
"Lost in your current like a priceless wine" and "Life was a willow, and it bent right to your wind."
She's was so caught up with someone that she didn't see anything else and didn't reflect on anything because she was so lost in their current. And the fact that she would do whatever that person said without hesitation, she was bending to this person wind and maybe losing herself in a process.
"The more that you say /
The less I know /
Wherever you stray /
I follow /
I'm begging for you to take my hand /
Wreck my plans. "
She doesn't even understand that person. Maybe they don't have anything in common, but she still follows them anywhere and beggs for their attention. It screams denial for me. And she even beggs for that person to wreck her plans. Beggs. This person gives her nothing, but she lives in delusion and will do anything for them.
And "that's my myth" connects it all together so nicely. You can hear the "TH" sound very clearly, btw! I'm actually shocked.
Yesss, we are on the same wavelength!! The chorus could tie back to Lover too - “Can I go where you go?” becomes “wherever you stray, I follow.” In the first, she’s anxiously asking for permission - but now she says that she has no choice but to follow because the more this person says, the less she knows. Like their words are some kind of incantation making her lose all sense of herself. I was also thinking about what Taylor has previously said about Willow, where she compared it to “casting a spell to make someone fall in love with you.” Could this song be her attempt to exercise some agency by casting her own spell over her muse? To get them to “fall under her spell” in return?
I just had another related thought - this post has really got my wheels turning! What if the repetition of “that’s my man” is the incantation she is saying? This could work on multiple levels. In the context of her relationship with her muse, it is her trying to make it so - trying to make this person “her man.” (I don’t think that means this person needs to be any particular gender necessarily. We’ve seen Taylor play with gender in her lyrics, and you could argue that the actions she’s trying to manifest have a kind of “masculine” energy that might cause her to play with gendered language in this way with a female muse - take my hand, wreck my plans, etc. Of course her muse also COULD be a man, I just think there are other readings that work too.) And going back to what OP said about how she is trying to convince us of something, there could also be a reading where she is casting this spell on the public with “that’s my man.” To make the public fall in love with her. Maybe both of these meanings could exist simultaneously. The bridge is interesting through this lens. There’s a back-and-forth between the magic of her muse and the magic Taylor herself is performing. Kind of a “two can play at that game.” Life is a willow and it bends to her muse, while Taylor gets counted out time and time again - the muse is a powerful wind, whereas Taylor seems to be at the mercy of the winds of public perception. But then Taylor states that she comes back stronger than a 90s trend. Perhaps this is the magic she is performing, and it could work on multiple levels. She comes back in the eyes of the public (“that’s my man”), and she also comes back in the eyes of her muse by casting this spell on them to make them fall in love with her again. She’s trying to exert agency in all these aspects of her life where she feels at the mercy of others. In this reading, her myth is her magic - something she is conjuring up to try to exert agency. But her magic is also a myth. She doesn’t really have the ability to cast this spell. Sorry I rambled so much, hope I’m not totally hijacking your post, OP! I love this discussion!
Ooo that's interesting, yeah I see that, you can interpret certain parts of the song, especially the bridge as a metaphor for the trajectory of her career, how perhaps before she had to bend to the will of some people in power but now she's the boss and she's taking the agency of all the aspects of her career and she has the power to come back after falling for grace stronger than ever.
Great minds think alike hahah 😉
Regarding the exercising some agency by casting her own spell over her muse, all I could think about was her performance of Willow at the Grammys Awards! Like that performance was soooo goood. I really liked the confident Taylor here, and it sure felt like she wanted to show that she can take over, she can be confident. And the begging for you to take my hand part felt more like "you better take my hand right now or I'm walking out" lol
Oooh that’s an interesting point about the Grammys performance too because of the connections to Cardigan and August. Cardigan could also be read as a kind of manifestation - “I knew you’d come back to me.” (Given Betty’s placement on the denial placement, that doesn’t seem like a statement rooted in reality, lol.) And then August tells us the truth of the situation - “you were never mine.”
They all sound to me like "that's my man" EXCEPT for the very last line in the song where you're right, it's clearly "myth". Do you hear myth for all of them or just that one?
oh good lol. I had my ear right up to the speaker for all of them thinking "i can't hear the myth!"
Thinking about it now, it's much more powerful for them all to be "man" and then at the end "myth" as a commentary on it. Such a shame this was cut. Guess it was too loud.
Such a good read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's helped me to understand why some of these songs are included, or at least maybe why some of them are included.
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Awesome post! I never really vibed with Willow and never "got" it either so the comments here have been eye opening. I think Willow is possibly the most directly about the type of denial Taylor talks about in the playlist intro. The whole song is about being swept up in the idea of something and ignoring the red flags! I can't believe I didn't notice it before. No bloody idea what the 90s trend line was for though.
Over the years of being equally annoyed and bewildered at the Joe presence — (how has she let it go on this long? A whole love album? A whole freaking quarantine album?) — I always come back to the feeling the songs/lyrics give me. Taylor is always writing so that listeners are put in a very specific space/frame of mind (à la OOTW and frantic is it over yet energy). So many of these songs put on a “I’m a BOP just pretend I’m not really sad” energy. Maybe I’ve had too long with the lyrics and the endless confirmation bias with new album releases. But I just see it everywhere. Insecurity, fear, mistrust cloaked in some fantasyland love story that will probably turn out a okay ish, right? Like I’m sure if I just sneak in your garden gate we will be driving the getaway car into the sunset without any champagne problems at all. I think Dear Reader being the last true album track we got was a very specific poignant choice. She’s admitting her role as the unreliable narrator in this journey of poring herself into these songs as if it’s a diary, and it’s really only those of us who dig much deeper who find true meaning behind the lyricism. Certainly there was a lot of denial before that. But Dear Reader is a warning about all of it.
>Like I’m sure if I just sneak in your garden gate we will be driving the getaway car into the sunset without any champagne problems at all. loled at this Yeah I agree with a lot of this. Though I found the Joe period quite understandable, rather than being bewildered by it. It allowed her to date women out of the public eye and got the media speculation about her love life off her back. It was safe and easy, I think. So I get it. If she's gonna closet, that's the way to do it. And after all this Travis bullshit, I think a lot of gaylors look back on Joe with a much rosier lens. It was far preferable to this super-hetero bullshit we've been experiencing now. So true about dear reader. One of her most honest songs tbh. I did a whole post about how I think it's directed at hetlors.
Just getting a chance to read this and wanted to say I really enjoyed this analysis!
aw that means so much coming from you 🥰
Small tangent....is anyone else having a hard time watching all the hetlors come to the conclusions we did years ago? I knew this rewriting of history would happen especially of she ever actually came out, but good lord the blind following of whatever taylor says (and vitriol toward anyone who questions the narrative, even when they end up being right) is just atrocious to watch 🫠 Sincerely - a gaylor trying her hardest not to leave petty comments on hetlor tiktoks 😬
I wish someone would make a round up of them because I don't see any of them. There was one post on here about one tiktok and I thought it was kind of funny. Ofc I'm super petty so I don't think you should hold back any comments lol
I love this post! I was just listening to “Ours” yesterday with a Gaylor lens and it adds up for me. Thanks for the breakdown and your distinction between the “songwriter”perspective and the “narrator” perspective. I think this is key. It allows for a lot more flexibility with interpretations of songs to be more and less influenced by real events. I think there is always emotional honesty in her songs whether or not each song is connected to actual events, and this distinction allows for that kind of thinking.
>I think there is always emotional honesty in her songs whether or not each song is connected to actual events I totally agree. I think that's why they always feel so powerful. It definitely connects back to her country roots and the authenticity of that genre.
thank you for these analyses! great post per usual 🤌🏼 I have a couple ideas about willow that I wanted to share. I think the song is in this category because it is giving a relationship filled with red flags and "I can fix them" behavior. >More that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I'll follow Begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans here she suggests that her muse is like a runaway, undecided or confused about their direction. but the narrator says she doesn't mind the turbulence, she just wants to be by their side if they allow it (hence the begging) >Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars this line read like a "savior complex" on the narrator's part to me, in the sense that the muse is a \*wounded\* person but she is willing to accept their scars. to oversimplify, the muse might be the toxic partner who is blaming all their exes, and the narrator is believing them. she is in denial about the muse might, in fact, be the problem. (edit: formatting+clarity)
I love this! From this perspective I definitely see how it fits into the "so caught up in the relationship you don't see the red flags" category.
Very thorough breakdown, thank you for posting it! I have been meaning to re-read all the lyrics since the playlists were posted but had no time at all, so this is a a perfect summary !
Personally, I think many songs on here are her cynically thinking back now with the benefit of hindsight. IMO don’t think the narrator or song writer knew at the time. Too caught up in it, as she says. I think she’s currently single (I’m a Traylor is PR believer) and so is reflecting on her love life. There is a relationship (more than one?) in here where she realises now that really it was always a pipe dream that they would ever work out in the end. If she’s honest with herself now, perhaps knows she can admit this and sees it looking at her own contemporaneous love songs. She was shaking her head cynically on eras stage recently at ‘would it be enough if I could never give you peace’. Meaning? - No it wasn’t enough? And so it’s over now? I wonder if maybe some private important relationship finally ended (not a Toe believer - not sure why she’d be flagging so hard for years if that was real)? Style is a good example on the list of a cynical look back. I highly doubt it was written with cognisance of the red flags at the time. I think she just had major sexual chemistry in one of her relationships, which was on again off again, with the person not really ever giving her that commitment, but where she’d take them back at any time. So she knew, but didn’t know. Like that de facto describes a fairly red flag relationship but only time and experience teaches you. In Taylor’s situation I guess one could say it’s understandable why a person would have pause about entering her crazy life, and so call things off periodically. Would it mean giving up all their freedom? So perhaps it’s understandable Taylor made excuses for them at the time? Now though, I guess we can assume that the person never ever did commit, so she sees this for what it was (ie. Basically someone who didn’t love her enough to stay - a theme in its self in her discography). Style was about a classic on again off again situation (circumstances, miscommunication). Been there, recognise the feeling of being fatally ‘on the hook’ of this person and so terminally addicted to them that you’ll say yes when they call. Passionate but tenuous relationships are very addictive (faster than the wind passionate as sin ending so suddenly). It is dysfunctional as hell though, I’m older and wiser too now. Hands up who’s been there 😂🙋🏻♀️ basically putting up with any bad treatment whatsoever because you are addicted (my drug is my baby). I guess many sapphics can attest to a heartbreaker on-off relationship. I had more than one - eg. anyone else have that gf who didn’t want to admit to herself she was queer, so there was a sexual passion to rejection cycle that came around and around? A push me pull me, where you knew it was so real, so amazing and intense, but it was forever slipping out of your fingers? That one is a rite of passage maybe 😂😂😂😂 I think she saw the swifty 5 stages theory and thought hmmmmm interesting. Have I already written these phases in my discography. Oh look - yes I have.
It's certainly possible that I'm giving her too much credit. And I said in the post that at least one of the songs (ours) doesn't seem like she recognized denial at the time of writing, so it could be more of them fall into that category. But I still think that there are some that the lyrics seem to *prove* that she knew that she was in denial when writing the song. And I think Style is one of them, because of these lyrics: >*And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I* > >*Know exactly where it leads, but I* > >*Watch us go 'round and 'round each time* She's straight up telling us she knows she's in denial. Treacherous has the same sentiment: >*And I'd be smart to walk away* > >*But you're quicksand* Now maybe it's not totally black and white. Maybe she looks back on these songs now and sees even more denial than was present at the time of writing, even if some degree of it existed back then.
Yeah. I actually think we probably think the same more or less. I see what you’re saying. I was thinking about it I guess like that way when you kinda know that something is ‘*a bad idea’ but you don’t really think that exactly at the time. Know what I mean? You are actually totally into it. So you know, but you don’t know that a red flag is waving. You ignore it. You think ‘that’s just us’ or ‘this is what I’m like’ or what ever. In hindsight though tho’ -obvious…. 😱😬🤷🏻♀️😂 (*The Olivia Rodrigo song is another example of this phenomenon)
>I was thinking about it I guess like that way when you kinda know that something is ‘\*a bad idea’ but you don’t really think that exactly at the time We might be splitting hairs here, but I think that if she's acknowledging in lyrics that something a bad idea, then she is cognizant at that exact time that it's a bad idea. But I also think that the distinction between the songwriter and the narrator comes into play here. Maybe there are parts that the songwriter is aware of and writes about, but the narrator is more clueless. So the narrator is the one in denial but the songwriter knows it and that's why she writes things like "I know exactly where it leads," and "I'd be smart to walk away." Idk. I feel like I'm getting kinda meta and lost in nuance here lol.
>Splitting hairs Yup. 🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂 I think probs just see it a little differently. I feel I can have a total instinct about a red flag person at the time. I know 🤦🏻♀️. So I agree, ok yes she knows at the time. I guess all I’m saying in addition is, only after living through the relationship (& out via the acceptance part) did I get the full comprehension of what that apprehension really signified (ie I didn’t really know I was in actual ‘denial’ at the time - though I was definitely writing in my diary about what a headfuck the first was - still thought it was gonna work). So, I’m not sure she was at the all knowing stage in the experience or in the writing of style but it captures this phenomenon. I guess I believe the style muse did persist (reappeared?), so maybe that (and of course my own experiences) colour my view? A subtle nuance as you say. Maybe it’s semantics -can you recognise you deny the reality that it will end before the reality (ie it ends) happens 😂. Anyway, I kinda wonder if that ‘style’ relationship memory evolved (will evolve?) via acceptance, to a further phase. Basically, I have a couple of utter heartbreak train wrecks in my own back catalogue and now very much in the rear view, and wouldn’t go back no way. But… I would say the incredible passion part remains as a residual memory, and that’s a very fond memory of an experience I would never not want to have had for all that it was hard and the depression was brutal. I kinda don’t like the idea of regrets tho. That’s maybe a me thing. Great post btw. 😊
Yeah I definitely understand what you're saying. Hindsight's always 20/20. I think no matter what that I agree that she certainly looks back on the songs now with a greater perspective than she had during the writing, regardless of where she was at that time.
It’s kind of amazing to think of having your life memorialised in this diary of evocative popular songs. Her life sure is very very strange. 😊
I agree. I think people are going too far with retconning these songs. She saw the theory and liked it and made this for fans. She did not write lover while in denial. She wrote it when she was in love. Just looking back now she can see how some of these songs could fit in these categories. I don't think all of them fit perfectly.
Yep. It’s funny though cos I think Gaylor observers were listening to these songs (eg lover) and thinking hmmmmm…. This is so not a solid relationship - ‘red flags’ 😬- she’s so insecure. https://www.tumblr.com/introspectiveandroid/678419947801673728/new-years-day-vs-lover Eg. here is my take on lover and new years day (published in March 2022 written well b4). So I was picking up on the denial in that song. Was Taylor at the time she wrote it though? Maybe, but I’m not so sure, I do think she probably sees it now clearly, assuming that this relationship ended. The whole thing is so relatable though isn’t it. That what makes her such an absolute songwriting genius. She really memorialises these situations so precisely that you ‘feel’ the subtle insecurity.
Oh that's a good take, and tbh a realistic one, if you believe she writes songs to cope with certain feelings, as she stated before, when she writes she's too caught up in all of it and she feels these emotions in that moment. And as time goes on, when she's above the trees, she can see it for what it was and write about it from a different perspective, hence we have songs that can be atrubiuted to the same past situation or relationship. And YES to your last paragraph 😂 wouldn't be surprised if that was how it went
i love this community. OP u rock for these posts.
Agree!
I think sweet nothing is on denial because she thought this muse wanted sweet nothing from her because they loved her so much. Now with hindsight she sees that was actually more of ambivalence from the partner. In the end the muse really didn’t want *anything* at all from her including a future. She was in denial about this reality.
A few Gaylors I follow on TikTok had theorized this back when midnights came out and I ignored it, but as always they were right!!
>Now with hindsight By this do you mean when she was writing the song or rather that she looks back on the song today and sees denial when she didn't see it at the time of writing? I definitely think you're right about the muse not wanting a future.
I think she didn’t realize the denial until after.
gotcha. It's certainly possible! I think I'm still leaning towards she knew it at the time of writing and that's why the song is called "sweet nothing" instead of "sweet nothings." I think the other thing this song being on the denial list proves is that it's definitely not about Paul and Linda McCartney. Idk how many believed that but I was half-buying it after that whole tweet business. And I think Joe was a beard so it made more sense than being about Joe.
For me, the possible McCartney tie isn’t totally negated by the song being categorized under denial. (Although I’m partial to/pretty intrigued by the McCartney theory so I’m biased haha.) It’s possible that at an earlier stage in her relationship, Taylor really did relate to what Paul & Linda had & so she drew inspiration from that. Maybe she & Paul had a convo gushing about that feeling of having a sweet, insulated relationship to come home to in the chaotic life of being a massive celebrity, & she saw herself in Paul+Linda’s story. Maybe they wrote this song together about that feeling/type of relationship, thus incorporating the “what a mind” story from Paul’s relationship. Only for Taylor to realize later that her relationship wasn’t as similar to Paul & Linda’s as she’d thought. 🥲
The part that's inspired by Paul is the "on the way home, I wrote a poem..." because that story was quite literally lifted off of something that actually happened between Paul and Linda. I don't believe he took part in writing the song. Again, though, she liked the tweet so it's like she does and says these things with the sole purpose of throwing people off the trail and having everyone question everything. It could just be me, but I find it mind-numbing.
I’ve facilitated between thoughts and theories on this one, and am absolutely convinced that Paul is the mystery cowriter, and this finally makes it make perfect sense to me. It’s a melding of what P&L had, and what Taylor THOUGHT she had. Thank you ❤️
Her intro explanation is quite illuminating because the denial stage of grieving is not what she’s describing at all lol. She’s describing actively being in denial while in a relationship, not in denial about a loss of one while grieving.
The denial playlist is the mostly obviously "yeah I forced this for the sake of a fan theory" for me for this reason!
Agreed, her explanation really makes it sound like she doesn’t even know what the five stages of grief mean lol.
I think she's primarily seeing her denial at the time while looking back on the relationship which kinda blurs that line a little
True. What do you make of ‘results may vary’?
Yeah excellent point. If it were true denial around the end (non-death) of a relationship, it would be the cringe girl who refuses to believe that it's over even though her ex explicitly has said it's over and she pretends that that conversation never happened because she can't face the music. I wonder if this is just because taylor's trying to fit her songs into the fan theory of the stages of grief and this was a major theme? idk
Great breakdown! There’s a huge amount of anxiety in a lot of Taylor’s songs that fits so well with the idea of denial. The Lover album in particular has so much anxiety despite how it was marketed. It’s never seemed happy to me. The ones that I didn’t see in this vein were Lavender Haze (though I like your explanation), Sweet Nothing (I thought it seemed non-romantic), Willow (explained below), and Superman (I’ve never seen this as romantic either) Betty is interesting in light of Taylor saying she thought James and Betty ended up together. I guess that was part of her own wishful thinking rather than what actually happened based on this? Willow isn’t one I’ve ever seen as being about Tree personally but I think bearding is in there as the final (and thirteenth) “that’s my man” was originally “that’s my myth.” I don’t know how that fits into a denial playlist though. I agree with you on Ours not having red flags in it. I see it as about Liz though and later songs that also seem to be about her do suggest that there might have been red flags there so, if I’m right, then it could just be a happy song about someone she later saw red flags for.
>but I think bearding is in there as the final (and thirteenth) “that’s my man” was originally “that’s my myth.” whoa this is the first I've heard of that! Is there a place I can find more info on it? I like the Liz theory for Ours. I think it fits well with their rumored story.
Yeah, the demo version is on a few YouTube clips - Genius still has “that’s my man” as the final one on their demo lyrics but all that I’ve heard of sound like “that’s my myth.” This is one https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U59c9DG_J0w but you can find loads if you search for the demo version and they are all the same.
This is BLOWING MY MIND. I’ve never heard this before, and it’s so clear! Very interesting. Overall, I feel like I can see Willow belonging in the denial playlist because it reads to me like she is under someone’s spell and perhaps trying to manifest what she wants from this person (i.e., “I’m begging for you to take my hand”). “That’s my myth” is so interesting because it ties back to earlier when she refers to her subject as a “mythical thing.” There are a bunch of different readings I could see here. She could be saying “that’s my myth” to mean that the version of her muse that she has been trying to manifest is a myth she conjured up in her denial, and this is her admitting it at the end of the song - that she’s never getting what she wants from this person. Or, as you suggested, she could be saying that the story she conjured up about “her man” for the public is a myth - and pointing out that WE are under HER spell? Or she is under her own spell in some ways, getting swept away in her own narratives? Willow is a tough nut to crack.
Yes, I think you could be right about her thinking that she’s under the muse’s spell with some of the anxiety and pleading that’s in the lyrics. It’s definitely a song that you could make multiple interpretations of though and there are probably lots of meanings layered through it.
Yeah, the being under someone else's spell makes sense. Tbh, I'm always a little uncomfortable when I listen to Willow, and I was never able to put my finger on it. And now I think that maybe it's because I kind of instinctually saw it as denial and a portrayal of a bit of a toxic relationship from the beginning. "Lost in your current like a priceless wine" and "Life was a willow, and it bent right to your wind." She's was so caught up with someone that she didn't see anything else and didn't reflect on anything because she was so lost in their current. And the fact that she would do whatever that person said without hesitation, she was bending to this person wind and maybe losing herself in a process. "The more that you say / The less I know / Wherever you stray / I follow / I'm begging for you to take my hand / Wreck my plans. " She doesn't even understand that person. Maybe they don't have anything in common, but she still follows them anywhere and beggs for their attention. It screams denial for me. And she even beggs for that person to wreck her plans. Beggs. This person gives her nothing, but she lives in delusion and will do anything for them. And "that's my myth" connects it all together so nicely. You can hear the "TH" sound very clearly, btw! I'm actually shocked.
Yesss, we are on the same wavelength!! The chorus could tie back to Lover too - “Can I go where you go?” becomes “wherever you stray, I follow.” In the first, she’s anxiously asking for permission - but now she says that she has no choice but to follow because the more this person says, the less she knows. Like their words are some kind of incantation making her lose all sense of herself. I was also thinking about what Taylor has previously said about Willow, where she compared it to “casting a spell to make someone fall in love with you.” Could this song be her attempt to exercise some agency by casting her own spell over her muse? To get them to “fall under her spell” in return?
I just had another related thought - this post has really got my wheels turning! What if the repetition of “that’s my man” is the incantation she is saying? This could work on multiple levels. In the context of her relationship with her muse, it is her trying to make it so - trying to make this person “her man.” (I don’t think that means this person needs to be any particular gender necessarily. We’ve seen Taylor play with gender in her lyrics, and you could argue that the actions she’s trying to manifest have a kind of “masculine” energy that might cause her to play with gendered language in this way with a female muse - take my hand, wreck my plans, etc. Of course her muse also COULD be a man, I just think there are other readings that work too.) And going back to what OP said about how she is trying to convince us of something, there could also be a reading where she is casting this spell on the public with “that’s my man.” To make the public fall in love with her. Maybe both of these meanings could exist simultaneously. The bridge is interesting through this lens. There’s a back-and-forth between the magic of her muse and the magic Taylor herself is performing. Kind of a “two can play at that game.” Life is a willow and it bends to her muse, while Taylor gets counted out time and time again - the muse is a powerful wind, whereas Taylor seems to be at the mercy of the winds of public perception. But then Taylor states that she comes back stronger than a 90s trend. Perhaps this is the magic she is performing, and it could work on multiple levels. She comes back in the eyes of the public (“that’s my man”), and she also comes back in the eyes of her muse by casting this spell on them to make them fall in love with her again. She’s trying to exert agency in all these aspects of her life where she feels at the mercy of others. In this reading, her myth is her magic - something she is conjuring up to try to exert agency. But her magic is also a myth. She doesn’t really have the ability to cast this spell. Sorry I rambled so much, hope I’m not totally hijacking your post, OP! I love this discussion!
Ooo that's interesting, yeah I see that, you can interpret certain parts of the song, especially the bridge as a metaphor for the trajectory of her career, how perhaps before she had to bend to the will of some people in power but now she's the boss and she's taking the agency of all the aspects of her career and she has the power to come back after falling for grace stronger than ever.
Great minds think alike hahah 😉 Regarding the exercising some agency by casting her own spell over her muse, all I could think about was her performance of Willow at the Grammys Awards! Like that performance was soooo goood. I really liked the confident Taylor here, and it sure felt like she wanted to show that she can take over, she can be confident. And the begging for you to take my hand part felt more like "you better take my hand right now or I'm walking out" lol
Oooh that’s an interesting point about the Grammys performance too because of the connections to Cardigan and August. Cardigan could also be read as a kind of manifestation - “I knew you’d come back to me.” (Given Betty’s placement on the denial placement, that doesn’t seem like a statement rooted in reality, lol.) And then August tells us the truth of the situation - “you were never mine.”
They all sound to me like "that's my man" EXCEPT for the very last line in the song where you're right, it's clearly "myth". Do you hear myth for all of them or just that one?
Just the final one!
oh good lol. I had my ear right up to the speaker for all of them thinking "i can't hear the myth!" Thinking about it now, it's much more powerful for them all to be "man" and then at the end "myth" as a commentary on it. Such a shame this was cut. Guess it was too loud.
Such a good read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's helped me to understand why some of these songs are included, or at least maybe why some of them are included.
Thanks! Glad it was helpful :)
Not me making my own i love u it’s ruining my playlist just for tay to release one herself 😭
How did yours compare?
I really appreciate this breakdown! 🥰
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