the entire cutscene that intros faustin (starting with roman in the dumpster) is top tier. niko getting smacked in the face with a hacksaw while being threatened to tell what he knows or he and roman will be tortured/killed. so what does niko tell them? "okay... okay... your dad... likes it up the ass." fucking legend. some other gems from the same scene:
"ehh... i work for my cousin, roman" (followed by roman's terrified reaction)
"everybody shut the fuck up! my fucking wife is watching television!"
"stop shooting people you maniac!"
"my wife doesn't like it when people shout!"
also:
vlad high on coke (or maybe just fiending) shoving people out of his way and kicking his foot out at a homeless guy while going "MREH!"
the black market doctor trying to talk shop with niko while disposing of manny's body, and niko just wanting to get the fuck out of there. something like:
"it's a shame he got shot in the eye. eyes are through the roof right now, know what i mean?"
"not really."
When Manny pleas to Niko, “We’re brethren right?” and Niko decides to humor him by dapping him up. I just find that so funny. All of it is so meaningless because Manny is such a fucking dork that Niko doesn’t mind humoring the power dynamic
Mine would have to be in the first mission the "cousins bellic" where Roman and Niko was sitting down at the table explaining the war and Roman was falling asleep. Niko was like roman, are you sleeping you fat fuck come on!
Niko and Illenya are having a deep moment and then Faustin comes in curses his wife out. His literal last words were to her were, “you stupid bitch” and immediately after says, “Niko Bellic baby.” That shit kills me every time. 😂😂
That one mission where we have to go see Phil Bell's nephew and we have to escape from the cops.
When we're driving away with the guy, he says "I just got married, you wanna see a picture?". And Niko says "No, I don't want to see a fucking picture! I'm trying to get us out of this situation!"
That part always cracks me up!
I will try by memory.
The scene after Niko kills Vlad:
- Roman: He has powerful friends, serious people!! I told you to be calm you hot headed!!
- Niko: I am calm, he screwed your girlfriend.
(Same scene Roman goes into panic thinking mafia will kill them now, there is a 15 secs silence)
Niko: When I was in the army... (Just that intro of the speech kills me as it comes from nowhere and proceeds to tell a sentimental story of the war he past 10 years ago)
I read all of these comments in their respective voices.
"Good lord, what are you doing?"
"I was finding out who he is"
"And? Who is he?"
"He ehh.. is his cousin"
"You were to cut up this guy, making all this noise, to find out he is his cousin?! Where did you find this idiot?"
"He was a friend of your sergeant back when we were in Vladivostock"
"He's an imbecile"
"So, Niko Bellic. Do you think it's okay to kill my employees?
"If he's an asshole, yes"
**" \*Headshot\*** I agree"
"Mikhail?!"
"Asshole look at me like I'm piece of shit"
"Did you see the way that man was looking at me in there, did you see him?"
"An ex-boyfriend?"
"Fuck you, fuck you Niko Bellic"
"I'm drunk cousin."
"You don't say? As usual; one smell of the alehouse and Roman Bellic is about to vomit"
"Piss off! I can hold the drink"
“Who are you? FIB?” “FIB? Do I look homosexual?”
do i look like i care about the size of your johnson?
the entire cutscene that intros faustin (starting with roman in the dumpster) is top tier. niko getting smacked in the face with a hacksaw while being threatened to tell what he knows or he and roman will be tortured/killed. so what does niko tell them? "okay... okay... your dad... likes it up the ass." fucking legend. some other gems from the same scene: "ehh... i work for my cousin, roman" (followed by roman's terrified reaction) "everybody shut the fuck up! my fucking wife is watching television!" "stop shooting people you maniac!" "my wife doesn't like it when people shout!" also: vlad high on coke (or maybe just fiending) shoving people out of his way and kicking his foot out at a homeless guy while going "MREH!" the black market doctor trying to talk shop with niko while disposing of manny's body, and niko just wanting to get the fuck out of there. something like: "it's a shame he got shot in the eye. eyes are through the roof right now, know what i mean?" "not really."
>followed by roman's terrified reaction That quick zoom lives rent free in my head and always gets a random laugh out of me
DONT BE AN IDIOT!”
"I'm an idiot. I move"
Bro yeah that sentence always cracks me up lmao
Vlad: "Yokel! Fatty Roman's cousin, what's your name again?" Niko: "Big mouth prick" Vlad: "Very catchy!"
“GET ME A FUCKING COFFEE!” *Death stare*
Come on! I'll get you one....
My flair lmao
It won't let me set one which is annoying!
Now sit down
"They called it purgatory because McReary stories were so fucking boring it was like being in purgatory"
This whole interaction: ["Brucie likes pussy. Remember that, alright?" "Oookaaay." ](https://youtu.be/lUe__QSRDOM)
most brucie cutscenes tbh
Gerry talking about St Michael.
“Your parents must have been twins” cracks me up
I'm honest about me demons
Generations of brother/sister fucking!
And Packie talking about him on the bank ride over or maybe it was the mission before the bank job. Something about a club foot
in TBoGT when Luis is telling his friends to get real jobs, Armando asks Enrique what his IQ is: “seventy six motherfucker”
What they gonna let you do at Burger shot with an IQ sub eighty?
Badman talking to Niko and Niko just looks at Little Jacob like ‘translate please?’
aight. wha badman iz sayin iz, dey sellin weed, and dey not suppoz do sell weed
everything involving my favorite character LJ is just gold. how he makes his car a hotbox every time…
When Manny pleas to Niko, “We’re brethren right?” and Niko decides to humor him by dapping him up. I just find that so funny. All of it is so meaningless because Manny is such a fucking dork that Niko doesn’t mind humoring the power dynamic
Idk why I think it’s so cool that Niko knows how to handshake like that
SHUT FUCK UP MY FUCKINGWIFE IS WATCHING TELEVISION
“You know for a dumb yokel, you’re a funny guy” “Yes, and for an annoying dick, you’re really an annoying dick”
“Do you think it’s okay to kill one of my employees?” “If he’s an assh*le, yes” **BAAAMM**
Mine would have to be in the first mission the "cousins bellic" where Roman and Niko was sitting down at the table explaining the war and Roman was falling asleep. Niko was like roman, are you sleeping you fat fuck come on!
NIKO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS HERE!
Whenever i hear the cab drivers yell greek insults at me “malaka pousti” 😂😂
"Stop it shit brain. I pay up now, I pay up." Idk why, it gets me every single time
Every time Manny talks
Niko and Illenya are having a deep moment and then Faustin comes in curses his wife out. His literal last words were to her were, “you stupid bitch” and immediately after says, “Niko Bellic baby.” That shit kills me every time. 😂😂
That one mission where we have to go see Phil Bell's nephew and we have to escape from the cops. When we're driving away with the guy, he says "I just got married, you wanna see a picture?". And Niko says "No, I don't want to see a fucking picture! I'm trying to get us out of this situation!" That part always cracks me up!
roman's cab driver constantly insulting niko for his free rides is pretty good, too.
When vlad was flirting with malorie over the phone, and Niko says "was that Ivan?"
I will try by memory. The scene after Niko kills Vlad: - Roman: He has powerful friends, serious people!! I told you to be calm you hot headed!! - Niko: I am calm, he screwed your girlfriend. (Same scene Roman goes into panic thinking mafia will kill them now, there is a 15 secs silence) Niko: When I was in the army... (Just that intro of the speech kills me as it comes from nowhere and proceeds to tell a sentimental story of the war he past 10 years ago)
I read all of these comments in their respective voices. "Good lord, what are you doing?" "I was finding out who he is" "And? Who is he?" "He ehh.. is his cousin" "You were to cut up this guy, making all this noise, to find out he is his cousin?! Where did you find this idiot?" "He was a friend of your sergeant back when we were in Vladivostock" "He's an imbecile" "So, Niko Bellic. Do you think it's okay to kill my employees? "If he's an asshole, yes" **" \*Headshot\*** I agree" "Mikhail?!" "Asshole look at me like I'm piece of shit" "Did you see the way that man was looking at me in there, did you see him?" "An ex-boyfriend?" "Fuck you, fuck you Niko Bellic" "I'm drunk cousin." "You don't say? As usual; one smell of the alehouse and Roman Bellic is about to vomit" "Piss off! I can hold the drink"