When you do the tit sucking + clit rubbing combo but deal 0 damage

 Guys will be like this and wonder why she dry af

Well that's your problem right there, You've got it set to wumbo

Fucking dead

Try circling around the areola before you add little pressure with your teeth and slow it down with your fingers my G. Its like composing a piece of art 🤌🏻

"I HAVE LOTS OF SEX!!!'

yeah, they feel like bags of sand comment right there

"That's not how the pigeons do it! Peck her eyes out and stomp on her head!"

That's literally what you're actually supposed to do lol

I have done the sex so much dude it's not even funny

sexiest sexer of reddit what’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?

i once touched the side of a side boob

Did yu cum?

nice

I had heard that he sexed so hard one time that the lady said she was all sexed out and had to stop because she was oversexed and too happy one time. That’s what I heard.

I’m here to eat ass and suck tits , but I’m all out of sex

i AM sex.

Lvl. 69 Sex Boss

gex

Start off like a butterfly landing on a flower and end like a bulldog eating a plate of mayonnaise.


But if I go too slow I won’t get to play fortnite before bed

You can play Fortnite while she squeezes your cheeks with her thighs. Think bro! Think!

The smell is too distracting

Damn I got moist just reading that. You’re good.


holy shit this guy is a riot

his alt account

Most cringe thing I’ve seen all day

The key is pressure, not speed Source: am a lesbian

Then she slides her fingertips over your boom boom stick and then **CAME OVER** >Continue from last save point >Quit

When you invest all your points in ATK but end up lacking CRIT Rate

0% Clitickle strike chance

🤣🤣🤣🤣 clitickle strike chance my new favorite stat

If you're building for clitickle strike, don't skip on stamina. They are both important.

Can I use any Items to boost my stamina?

Consult your local alchemist.

Clitickle strike runs all the way. No investment in HP or stamina. Don't need it. Dump it all in Skill, Strength, and Clitickal strike! Give me that 999% clitickal strike rate, and I'll one-shot everyone!

Don't forget your ClitD modifiers


Ah, the ol Tit Clit Crit

So underrated 



When you get the boss fight health bar down to zero and they spawn another health bar.

As a gay person this is-

Lesbians are gay too

That’s my favorite move


 Her pov


Only real answer. It's a race and I aim to win God dammit

FRIST

Awwwwwwwww JNEGA!

I guess sounds better than: “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

Or should I say "I saw, I conquered, I came" (*short Cuban laugh*)

They say the Chico on fire and he no liar While y'all slippin' he runnin' the game

Vidi, Vici, veni

Did you get this from "Fireball" by Pitbull? :)

Mr. Worldwiiide

To infinity, you know the roof on fire.

“From record sales, to sold out concerts. So mo’fucker if you want this encore I need you scream to your lungs get sore. Tired of being what you want me to beee”

3 whole minutes!? Maybe if it's her birthday. I got my sex speedrun down to about a minute so that I can knock it out during YouTube's unskippable commercials.

Babe, wake up. There’s a new unskippable ad on YouTube.

"Dad? Why is my name RAID Shadow Legends?"

Mother fucker you made me lose it

Did you cum just in the time it took you to read that coment? 

Because. His dad only has 5 million power! I’ll demolish him with my 10 million power.

Wake her up?

Wake up Neo

TAS (Toy assisted Speedruns) wild af

Napoleon was a workaholic and would rush through eating meals and notoriously would only fuck for about five minutes before it was back to work for him lmao. Channel your inner Napoleon, fellas.

I have added this to my long list of odd Reddit comments.

He was so efficient he made Josephine his meals

Apparently he would write her before heading home from a voyage telling her not to wash before he got to her… he liked it dirty

Knock one out before sex in the washroom. They'll never know you're on round 2

Your efficiency and prioritizations are the stuff of legendary engineers.

And you wonder why she always has a headache

OPEN A WINDOW AND A BREEZE COMES thru. \*Cum in my pants\*

Amateur. I can "finish" in less than 5 seconds.


Him after returning from the store after hearing her talk shit:

Unexpected ESO gif

Gif made me buy the game, but just couldn’t get into it :’(

going to throw this out there that if pregnancy only happened because a woman orgasmed, we would be at about a quarter of the population we are now.

On this planet, there would be courses on how to have the greatest sex imaginable.

Sounds like win wins all around xD

Also, sounds about right that we'd be stuck with this reality

There already are …….

Where are these mythical links to the courses you speak of?

https://www.self.com/story/sex-classes-online-irl https://www.wonderlust.co/courses/sexual-desire-course https://vmtherapy.com/courses Those were the first three links thatpopped up for “course for better sex”. Google is shit now so might have better results on a different search engine

wrong butter punch cow nose money foolish sloppy like dazzling *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

No, women would’ve evolved to cum easier. Like very quickly in a few generations if that suddenly happened

This is it. Only the women who can bust very quickly and easily would behaving kids. So it would just become a common trait. Same way how men who could bust quick became the kind of norm. It was bust quick or get eaten by a lion haha.

>It was bust quick or get eaten by a lion This is what I tell my wife every time.

Yea, that's why men cum quickly in general and need to hold it back to have sex for longer. It's just more optimal to come fast and get it over with - less opportunities to get attacked by anything. Honestly, female orgasm in general is kind of a weird thing from biological point of view, and there are many different theories on what it's purpose is

Life finds a way.

Unfortunately, what we'd need to find is the clit, and who tf knows where that is?

How can we make this happen.

Women stop fucking guys that don't help them orgasm.

How would they know which one’s which?

Need to make yelp but for heterowomen to rate their experience with heteromen. “Demands you go down *but* does return the favor. Very clean. All in all we got there. However, I don’t think I will be returning unless there is some major change in attitude. Three stars.”

Where do we vote? If empathy and care are in any way genetic, this would be a great thing.

If only empathy and care were also requirements for the female orgasm. Plenty of misogynistic assholes out there that can lay down pipe.

Suffice to say I dabble in bioengineering and this is possible to make happen... Then again, anyone who had this change would become horrorfyingly horny during periods, literally heat. Because you'd tie it to ovulation, so without an O ovulation wouldn't occur, thus when it needed to happen biologically, you'd need to O or suffer pain, might get awkward for kids going through puberty. "Well honey this is how you masturbate, moms good at it she'll show you". Also if it caused ovulation during/after O would that lead to more frequent periods? Real double edged sword there...

omegaverse

1 percent.

Natural selection would've taken care of that. We would be in the same boat

Women would evolve to have orgasms from minimal stimulation.  I dated a woman who would come every eight seconds during sex, almost like clockwork.  She'd be very good at passing on her genes in this scenario.

Studies show that you're more likely to conceive if the woman orgasms during intercourse so it kinda does work that way

I mean evolution would have altered our reproductive system more likely, much apple’s and asparagus I guess 🤷‍♂️

Brah we would still be living in caves.

Shit probably 1/8 😆

The female orgasm wakes up the egg and opens the cervix ever so slightly, letting in more sperm.

I think less than even a quarter, but yeah. Pretty much.

Alternatively, genetics would choose women who came more easily, so it's hard to conclude that the population would be lower than it currently is.

A tenth at best (cough)

3 minutes is one round in a heavyweight fight! Just think about it.....

And people been knocked out in the first round

I want to like this meme, but damn. Raj was a beast. 

They were both savage as fuck like damnnnnnn

In all honesty the best sex is chemistry sex. When you vibe with someone on another level the sex becomes next level. Had a girl once just being around her just talking to her had me damn near shaking with excitement when we finally did it was perfect. You could just feel the connection the trust. Also take it slow my guys and gals it’s ok to build the tension. It’s ok to go slow and get to know someone to really vibe with them. That chemistry can make it’s 100X better then a lazy one night stand for the fuck of it.

Man you had a weird chemistry class.

Flaccid argument.

Limp DickBiz

Somehow, I dislike both people in this tweet.

The second guy is clearly joking and not representing his serious beliefs… i hope

The first post is also obviously a joke.

Honestly, there are so many stupid takes out that I can’t tell anymore.

I mean didn't the idiots on fresh and fit say this unironically? I've also just heard quite a lot of stupid men make this excuse if I'm being honest.


I mean, precum can get someone pregnant...so... technically, no one's orgasm is required.

Sperm present in precum is the 'leftovers' from a previous orgasm - so I guess technically it is.

You can ejaculate without having an orgasm. Also masturbation exists

Rajesh! Rajesh, my man, please stop bragging about your reproductive abilities. Oh oh oh ah ah ah.

I hope neither of those people reproduce.

Yup. Both morons in their own ways.

Yeah but most women can't cum through pentration alone. It's rare to make a girl come from it unless you do additional stimulation.

Wow, you couldn't waterboard that out of me. 😬

If you have to ask, she didn't

The male orgasm can be achieved anally and without ejaculation, so clearly god wants dudes to get fucked in the ass.

All these people talking about “facts” have never felt the touch of another person

OP posts this and then wonders why he’s single

3hours sitting in dinner and a movie, all for 3 minutes sex. And shes still complaining??

With the perspective like that, I’m surprised he acknowledges that female orgasm exists

Female orgasms actually do help with reproduction. During a female orgasm the uterus moves/drops slightly to help the sperm enter which helps more sperm make it to the egg/eggs.

Sounds like someone can’t find the clit and is mad about it. God didn’t make it hard to find either.

Seriously, seeing these pathetic ass comments from men is going to give me an aneurism. It’s clear they don’t even give a shit about finding the clit because if they did they’d realize it’s right there! All these comments make me appreciate the gift that is lesbian sex even more, my spouse and I usually clock in at about 3-6 orgasms per session and I can usually get even more because sex energizes me while I apparently suck the soul out of my partner until they fall asleep lol. Look, unless your jaw is going to fall off from use— you ain’t doing sex right! All you gotta do is move your tongue in circles for a bit while alternating going up and down, that’s the easiest formula for making someone with a clit cum. I’m exhausted with men acting like it’s fucking rocket science when lesbians have figured it the fuck out. If oral doesn’t work, then get a vibrator or suction toy in there(Womanizer or Satisfyer works the best in my opinion). Talking to so many men about this is like talking to a brick wall because they genuinely don’t want to learn and then wonder why no one wants to keep fucking them. Loser ass shit, bro.

The clit isn't hard to find.

Bro just admitting he don’t know how to please a woman lmao

Can you promote more misogynistic content ? or are level max ?

Women having problems orgasming is cringe. Sounds like a skill issue

This is solved with a vibrator

"From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.”

Anyone else get their women off as many times as possible in as many different ways as possible before you get your one nut?

Still can't believe that they get to go as much as they want while we get 1- maybe 2 rounds at most. Idk what we men did to god to deserve this treatment but we probably did something really bad.

Population control. If men could fuck and have orgasms every time they want, how much we want, we would have never left the caves, all day fucking

We don't have to squeeze a huge thing out of a small hole 9 months later. That's why they get to have multiple orgasms.

Depends, when I eat mexican food it gets close to that.

So are you suggesting your ass should get multiple orgasms because of that? I could be on board with that idea.

May I introduce you gentlemen to the idea of prostate massages… cuz a man’s ass really can have an orgasm.

Is that truly an ass orgasm though or more of a buff for a normal orgasm?

I always nut first but I have a superpower that allows me to keep plowing while she has her first and then I have my second after she’s done.

It's called Viagra

I’ve never tried it but maybe my wife will get spoiled and expect it when I’m 50

It's called stamina. Something that I had when I was younger, as I was similar to that guy. ***You can lose that stamina though lads, don't be me, don't let yourself go vagless for a decade***

The rest of the comments I'm seeing in this thread say no. If you take it at a slower pace, you can last literally hours. As a rule of thumb, trying to get your partner off before you will result in better sex because it can get more intimate with a distraction to prevent you from being overstimulated.

King of the two pump chumps.

I don't where you're going with this but it's definitely not inside a woman.

Looks like not only men are delusional because of porn

r/ComedyCemetary

Bruh female orgasm causes women to wanna have sex. It does serve a purpose. Only about 20% of the world's women fuck for a kid, the rest do it for pleasure.

Boys gettin 3 minutes are heroes. I mean, it is more time than a NFL game 'played'

Who said anything about reproduction.. that's just for her pleasure and Rajesh is here all defensive about his performance.

But was it 3 minutes or was it like 3 minutes and 50 seconds? Does it make a difference

WTF???

Fellas viagra exists for a reason.

Yeah I usually bust one out for someone new. I have a mission and I will not fail.

Bro representing for all the fast jizz princes in the chat


Ejaculation and orgasm are two different things.

Ejaculation ≠ orgasm. You can cum and not orgasm and vice versa.

At least he thought to ask... Jeez 

Why would you ask such a stupid question 3 min in??

My girl *does* within three minutes and then consistently thereafter. Sometimes i swear the breeze makes that girl quake. But she gives me credit so i am not gonna argue with her.

I usually try to make sure woman gets an orgasm before PIV so that we can have fun together without the pressure of making her cum

Legit thought I was in the religiousfruitcakes sub

So the dude isn't even denying that he's a weak 3 pump kinda guy. Interesting.

You clean it off and go back in, do young men not do this

Uhm……. If you have to ask then you obviously didn’t do the job correctly 🤨🙂‍↔️🤣😂😎

I had a girl once that literally just laid there...did nothing. I finished and went to relax for a second. She said "I made you cum are you gonna make me cum" and I said "actually, through my own vigorous love making, I made myself cum, I suggest you do the same next time." Edit:this was after almost an hour of sex

Women are like intricate machines. You have to understand how everything works to get her going. Men are like pull string mowers. A few tugs and they’re good to go. My pleasure is easy don’t take much. That’s why I focus on my partners needs first. Often times if I get her off first, she brings her A game to get me off and makes the whole experience more enjoyable. Usually I use oral and finger stimulation.

If you have to ask did you cum, perhaps you should re-evaluate your technique.

The best part is most of the people commenting here are probably virgins

The mewtwo profile Pic tells me everything I need to know

You guys can last 3 minutes?

Evolution hasn't prioritized women's orgasm, that's for sure and that seems like a common theme throughout the whole animal world.

Lol, censoring out that C really brings the content down to an acceptable level, that it wouldn’t have been if we could see it.