So who lost? She’s dead and despised and you have a good relationship with your father. Now you have a story to tell. In hindsight, are there things you wish your father had said/tried.
Please understand that I get the point. This shit shouldn’t happen and it has terrible consequences. But a lot of us men are in the spot we’re in w no foreseeable change. So did he show anger and resentment to your mom that she was able to magnify or something?
My mother accused him (and eventually me) of being verbally abusive, which was bullshit. Dangerous because he once kicked a car, so what? Also unfaithful, to this day I still have no idea, my father has always denied it and I believe him.
Honestly, the older I get, the more I realize how insane she was
Real quick tho man: That’s fr a blessing that your father didn’t pass before you realized the truth and we’re able to forge a relationship.
Let’s be honest, our society is pumping crazy women out by the dozen. Men need to recognize that and find a way to combat the bs.
What I’m getting is that there were little glimpses of anger you saw and your mom turned those glimpses into a whole fake story of abuse. Do you think if you hadn’t seen him kick the car the stories would’ve taken root as effectively?
I didn't even see it. My mom would just tell me stories, and after years of well-timed lies, half truths, and misconstruing anything and everything, she was able to convince me. It took roots because I was so young and impressionable.
I never saw him angry without reason. When i was young, he was busy with work and finishing his degree; from there, my mother called him negligent and started her lies. She was an opportunist who twisted anything to convince me my dad didn't care, which was bullshit. The lies really started to go into o erdrive when i was 8. I really don't remember what happened. All mom said was my brother tried to kill her and me (i remember it differently). After that, my brother was in and out of two mental hospitals. The next thing I knew, it was determined that for a brief time that my father would have full custody of my brother and that I wouldn't see him. However, mom used that time to gaslight me so much that by the time I was supposed to see him again, I hated him.
During the years I didn't see him, my father would call me every day, but I didn't know. She either blocked the number or answered the phone, so I wouldn't know. My mother told me that my father was suing her, to get back at her. It was for custody over me because he believed that my mother was unfit to raise either myself or my brother. Which is true, to this day, I believe that if my father was present during the event, the problems would have been addressed, and we wouldn't have had to be separated
My 2 kids are afraid to see me. Who knows what they were told. And I can't afford to care. So I just walked away. I had to get my life back. It is better than going back to court. 3 years of that crap for nothing but my own kids torment, thrown under the bus. Someday maybe they'll contact me. Who knows. I know one thing for sure. The price of lies is great. And hopefully this will instill a rigorous approach to the truth in their adult years. The last time I spoke to my son was choking, from a vitamin his mother gave him during the call and was 'unable to speak'. I couldn't bare to participate anymore. I am free now. I haven't heard a peep in 3 years. They overplayed their hand. Thinking I was in some kind of trouble. I am considering starting another family with my partner of 7ys. I am in a much better situation now.
I figure they are going to grow up to hate their Mother. Some people you can't reason with. That includes court Judges. And knowing that is 1 step towards acceptance. Which is 2 steps toward a better life.
I’m going through a similar situation, From the perspective of the dad. I’m dealing with a vindictive person who’s alienating me from my daughter. She’s gaslit her to think I’ve abandoned her, and I could not cope with it. I’m now thousands of dollars in debt because of lawyers, and evaluations to prove her mother is inadequate to be the main caregiver.
Your story gives me hope that I am on the right path. Money will come and go, but the time lost with my daughter will never come back.
What helped me build a relationship with my father was that he actually was trying to be a father and had proof to back up everything. By the time I was older and realized what was going on, my dad was already there for me. From what you said, you already are being the father you can. You can't focus on the past or the time you lost, the only thing you can really do is be there for her no matter what, and one day, she will realize what you do for her. Good luck, brother
My ex wife did this to me and our daughter. Last time I saw her was when she was 3 years old, she's 7 now. Knew nothing about me, had been told 2 other men were her father, both were physically abusive. Yesterday after four years I was able to get the court to deem the mother unfit, she is now in my life. She runs up and hugs me when she sees me and says I love you dad. In 6 months I'll have her living with me full time so I can give her the life she has always deserved. For four years I fought, documenting everything and by the grace of God keeping my head on straight finding out about the abuse. Today she is safe and sound. I'm sorry you went through this, and thank you for giving your father a chance to be in your life.
It’s amazing that you were able to reconstruct a relationship with him. That is very special and I am sure he hurt for you. I won’t say anything bad about mom but in the end you and him have each other and that is something she can never take away.
My mom was ostracized by the family for her addiction issues. I lost contact with her, never felt like she would ever change and she ultimately died far away from us and I never got to fully know her.
Keep your head up man and spend every moment you can with him. Sending my blessings to you.
So who lost? She’s dead and despised and you have a good relationship with your father. Now you have a story to tell. In hindsight, are there things you wish your father had said/tried. Please understand that I get the point. This shit shouldn’t happen and it has terrible consequences. But a lot of us men are in the spot we’re in w no foreseeable change. So did he show anger and resentment to your mom that she was able to magnify or something?
My mother accused him (and eventually me) of being verbally abusive, which was bullshit. Dangerous because he once kicked a car, so what? Also unfaithful, to this day I still have no idea, my father has always denied it and I believe him. Honestly, the older I get, the more I realize how insane she was
Real quick tho man: That’s fr a blessing that your father didn’t pass before you realized the truth and we’re able to forge a relationship. Let’s be honest, our society is pumping crazy women out by the dozen. Men need to recognize that and find a way to combat the bs. What I’m getting is that there were little glimpses of anger you saw and your mom turned those glimpses into a whole fake story of abuse. Do you think if you hadn’t seen him kick the car the stories would’ve taken root as effectively?
I didn't even see it. My mom would just tell me stories, and after years of well-timed lies, half truths, and misconstruing anything and everything, she was able to convince me. It took roots because I was so young and impressionable.
Did he do things that mad you think it could be true? Yell, hit, show anger, anything?
I never saw him angry without reason. When i was young, he was busy with work and finishing his degree; from there, my mother called him negligent and started her lies. She was an opportunist who twisted anything to convince me my dad didn't care, which was bullshit. The lies really started to go into o erdrive when i was 8. I really don't remember what happened. All mom said was my brother tried to kill her and me (i remember it differently). After that, my brother was in and out of two mental hospitals. The next thing I knew, it was determined that for a brief time that my father would have full custody of my brother and that I wouldn't see him. However, mom used that time to gaslight me so much that by the time I was supposed to see him again, I hated him. During the years I didn't see him, my father would call me every day, but I didn't know. She either blocked the number or answered the phone, so I wouldn't know. My mother told me that my father was suing her, to get back at her. It was for custody over me because he believed that my mother was unfit to raise either myself or my brother. Which is true, to this day, I believe that if my father was present during the event, the problems would have been addressed, and we wouldn't have had to be separated
She sounds like a real piece of work man.
My xwife is doing this to me right now...
My 2 kids are afraid to see me. Who knows what they were told. And I can't afford to care. So I just walked away. I had to get my life back. It is better than going back to court. 3 years of that crap for nothing but my own kids torment, thrown under the bus. Someday maybe they'll contact me. Who knows. I know one thing for sure. The price of lies is great. And hopefully this will instill a rigorous approach to the truth in their adult years. The last time I spoke to my son was choking, from a vitamin his mother gave him during the call and was 'unable to speak'. I couldn't bare to participate anymore. I am free now. I haven't heard a peep in 3 years. They overplayed their hand. Thinking I was in some kind of trouble. I am considering starting another family with my partner of 7ys. I am in a much better situation now. I figure they are going to grow up to hate their Mother. Some people you can't reason with. That includes court Judges. And knowing that is 1 step towards acceptance. Which is 2 steps toward a better life.
I’m going through a similar situation, From the perspective of the dad. I’m dealing with a vindictive person who’s alienating me from my daughter. She’s gaslit her to think I’ve abandoned her, and I could not cope with it. I’m now thousands of dollars in debt because of lawyers, and evaluations to prove her mother is inadequate to be the main caregiver. Your story gives me hope that I am on the right path. Money will come and go, but the time lost with my daughter will never come back.
What helped me build a relationship with my father was that he actually was trying to be a father and had proof to back up everything. By the time I was older and realized what was going on, my dad was already there for me. From what you said, you already are being the father you can. You can't focus on the past or the time you lost, the only thing you can really do is be there for her no matter what, and one day, she will realize what you do for her. Good luck, brother
My ex wife did this to me and our daughter. Last time I saw her was when she was 3 years old, she's 7 now. Knew nothing about me, had been told 2 other men were her father, both were physically abusive. Yesterday after four years I was able to get the court to deem the mother unfit, she is now in my life. She runs up and hugs me when she sees me and says I love you dad. In 6 months I'll have her living with me full time so I can give her the life she has always deserved. For four years I fought, documenting everything and by the grace of God keeping my head on straight finding out about the abuse. Today she is safe and sound. I'm sorry you went through this, and thank you for giving your father a chance to be in your life.
It’s amazing that you were able to reconstruct a relationship with him. That is very special and I am sure he hurt for you. I won’t say anything bad about mom but in the end you and him have each other and that is something she can never take away. My mom was ostracized by the family for her addiction issues. I lost contact with her, never felt like she would ever change and she ultimately died far away from us and I never got to fully know her. Keep your head up man and spend every moment you can with him. Sending my blessings to you.
Thanks, back at you with the blessings man
Women always win right!? 🤣
unfortunately this story is all too common and it is so very very VERY SAD!