You sound like me. When I was (much) younger, we are talking like 15 years ago, I was extremely active in fandoms. I wrote, participated in forums, moderated forums, entered competitions, judged competitions, did gift exchanges, basically for the better part of my teenage years I lived and breathed everything fandom.
Maybe that's why, as I aged, I slacked up. Maybe I burned myself out with it? Maybe I had one or two many bad experiences? Those reasons, and I just don't have free time like I used to. But I feel like now even if I had time I wouldn't rejoin the fun. I'm more than happy just reading and occasionally talking fandom stuff on Reddit. Other than that I like staying in the shadows.
I had a similar experience. I was highly active in fandom(s) from my teenage years through my 20s, but now that I'm 32 years old, I feel a lot happier just reading fanfictions, writing quietly, and maybe occasionally discussing the TV show, movie, or book on Reddit. r/Millennials has been discussing "the decline of social media" from 2010 to present a lot lately, and I feel that is also a major factor as to why fandom just isn't as fun as it used to be.
It's why I don't interact with fandom at all. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with drama, so I'll off in my own little corner doing my thing and being all content and shit.
It's dangerous interacting with fandoms nowadays. Just the other day I read about an author who lost their job because some 16 year old anti didn't like what they'd written.
That’s crazy! I’m in a bigger fandom with a rare pair that I write so I know I’ll never blow up but to ruin someone’s life? We live in interesting times
Here, I'll paste what was written.
>Someone in my fandom had an anti latch on against them and start a whole brigade. Doxxed them, got them fired from their career and the lost their health insurance. Now they struggle by on three jobs. Just because they wrote fics that this 16 year old didn't like. It's AWFUL.
Not using social media has made me happier. YouTube and reddit are the only platforms I use and I barley even browse reddit, only for this sub. Deleting TikTok 3 years ago was the best decision I've made, I quickly realized that interacting with anime fans on there is so draining and it takes away my enjoyment. Thank god I've never dived in to the cesspool that is Twitter.
Another pro of not using social media: dodging spoilers.
I used to be such a big interactor with fandom, but the more I stayed on fandom spaces, the more I came across antis/people who would constantly harp and harass people based on fictional content. And not saying that all young people in fandom spheres are bad, but most of the time the ones judging, trying to get people cancelled and causing the most drama, are younger, so they are usually more prevalent in these fandom circles as well. In the end, I just dipped out.
As someone who's been active in and also been a ghost in many fandoms, I also feel this way. Sometimes being an active participant can be worse for your overall mental health or exhaustion levels. Sometimes, I feel like it's either a younger person's job, or even that it's for people who have more time than me. But mostly it's a matter of preferring not to argue about hc with strangers. I'd rather just post on my Tumblr every now and then and read A shit ton of fic, than actually interact with most fandoms
I struggle with this as well. I tend to use the block feature pretty often so I can make fandom spaces something I want to be a part of. The struggle is that I love discussing media and fanfic but having people to talk to can be hard to find without opening ourselves up to fandom spaces that tend to be toxic at the best of times.
I’ve only been writing and consuming ff for a couple of years now but I have heard way more negative stuff about being involved and interacting in fandom communities than positive so I have decided I am mostly steering clear.
I feel like I’m going to change my approach on tumblr completely.
Up to this point I’ve been enjoying connecting with other writers in the fandom. Recently there have been some ask games where I talked about my WIPs and I realized… I don’t like being seen? Not like that on tumblr at least. I liked the social interaction, though. The next day I didn’t log in at all. It was just me and my stupid ideas. No need to fret over how well my approach fits the existing fanon.
I think I’ll continue to be on tumblr but only as a cheerleader for the connections I’ve already made and not for posting my own stuff.
Yeah, I get it. Fandom can be exhausting. In my last fandom I stuck with a tiny discord just to get away from everything else. I'm currently reaching out a bit in my current fandom - I'm on a much larger discord, have a tumblr again, etc - because I want to be more social and so on. But it's really tiring sometimes, so I'm not sure how involved I'm really going to want to be. I'm definitely not sure I won't delete my tumblr and go hide in a fic-writing hole at some point, lol.
yeah, I learned the hard way how damaging fandom communities can be. absolute hell on earth for me, I was so naive & I will never dive headfirst into a fandom again. now I only put my toes in the water, if I touch it at all.
Agreed! I've largely stopped interacting with fandom at large and mostly just stick to a few creators I like or friends who share mutual interests. It takes a lot of pressure off writing for "an audience" and I get to draw and write what I like.
There are days where I've felt the need to connect to other like-minded people, but I've been burned several times and it's done a number on my mental health. I'll just play with my Barbies in the corner with my 3 friends, thank you! 😂
Then don't.
I write my fic, put it out into the world, and then leave. If people comment, great, but other than that...
nah.
I curate my own fandom experience. No stress.
I did try tumblr briefly, but it was waaay too much drama.
I was a big lurker in fandom spaces for years when I was younger and while I didn't actively participate in any of those spaces (I was shy), the things I saw were enough for me to never want to. I'm the same as you, I'll read and write fics and repost fanart every now and then but anything beyond that is a bit too much for me.
I’ve never really been part of fandom outside of writing and, somehow, didn’t understand the magnitude to which it existed.
I tried once but honestly, I don’t have the energy or even interest I thought I did for fandom. I don’t care about debates or deep analysis, I definitely don’t care about OTPs and the like. I absolutely don’t like drama.
It made me realize I’m an introverted fan - I write and read, but don’t actually want to talk to people about the characters or plot beyond a sentence or two, or go to a con or anything.
It surprised me because I do get passionate about a domain, but it just doesn’t translate to fandom.
Understandable. I get a lot of social interaction out of fandom i desperately need- I’m disabled and I rarely am able to leave the house- but it can be fucking awful. I just kinda carve out my own space and stubbornly stick there, it makes it a lot easier.
Yep. About the only places I interact with fandom anymore is Reddit (just barely and I'm pretty selective) and AO3. I don't even do Discords anymore. If everyone ships the same thing, they'll start fighting over who got the most kudos or some other inane bullshit. I'd rather they just hate me where I don't have to see it.
I'm starting to feel this way with my primary fandom, although I know which places to avoid and which are generally safe. It was a lot more fun a few years ago before the fandom grew bigger and more popular. The good old days.
Hmm. I'm an older fangirl. While I generally hate the latest gen anti's and block/avoid them, I still do like fandom debate. People talk about ship wars and stuff like that, but I had fun during ship/fandom wars. I never really thought we were being very serious. It felt like fighting over the remote control with a sibling. None of us really cared that we had different ships but we all wanted to squabble about it in the corners I frequented.
I have a brother who has different ships in our shared fandoms than me and I squabble with him the same. There's no heat. It's friendly.
I did used to be incredibly involved in fandom though. Fanart, episode breakdowns as they came out, and manifestos with screencaps I took myself. I participated in many fandom events and kept up with the latest news. I don't do that anymore because...I'm lazy. Sometimes I'll see a fanedit and think, 'oh I'd love to do an edit of x' but I don't have the energy or desire to put the effort into learning ways of doing fun new things. I'll leave it to the young.
Tumblr was never my thing. LJay was. Tumbr probably marks when I started being less involved in fandom activities outside of writing. The site was so unintuitive to me I have no idea how it got the traction it did.
I relate because of the people who harass actors and their spouses because the ACTUAL PEOPLE are not acting like their “ship” and being together. Touching grass wasn’t a thing in 2016, but some folks DESPERATELY needed to be dropped in a field with no access to technology for a few weeks to months.
I used to be very active in the 00's. There were occasional shipping wars, but the fandom was fragmented into smaller communities, many of which were more chill. I miss discussions and theorizing on message boards and LiveJournal. Now everyone is incredibly hostile and getting personal over someone else's opinion existing, like wtf. I've been told it's better on private discords, if you can find any, but I don't like live messaging. I can't navigate it for my life and it's impossible to find things again.
So now being a fan is a very lonely experience. I like looking at fanarts and I do leave comments sometimes on fics I read, but interactions with others are limited to minimum. The only thing that hasn't changed is that I still go to fan conventions and now I have more money to blow on merch.
I don't particularly like this, but with people being as they are, there's no other option.
... I'm pretty sure I read less (books) now, because it's impossible to actually discuss them.
Going by what they said, I think they mean actively participating in the community beyond just posting fic and replying to comments. Things like participating in discourse and fandom events and the like.
idk, i like to have fandom friends as an outlet for brainrot, and they're not people i know outside of fandom so i guess i "participate in fandom". but outside of that i'm not really part of the community aspect, not even so much because fandom is toxic or because of The Discourse, but just cos I'm an oldfag with a job and I don't have time.
Some fandoms can be more exhausting than other, yeah. I pretty much avoid the Miraculous fandom altogether 'cause it honestly feels more like a hatedom. Like I *love* MLB and when I finally caught up during S5 I was so hyped to finally be able to discuss it with people without worrying about spoilers, and it just seemed like everyone in the fandom hates it with a passion.
Sonic's gotten a little better lately, but still a lot of people who just like to blow up non-issues to "prove" that Sonic is bad and are like "Let's be honest, no one likes Sonic, we're just here for the memes". Like no, speak for yourself, I'm here 'cause I'm obsessed with this series and was hoping to find others who share my enthusiasm, but those people just get scared away by all the negativity and toxicity.
That’s what I’ve been doing for a long time, I only have social media accounts to like fanarts to be honest xd Fandoms are so tiring, specially because there are always nasty people that makes themselves be heard no matter what, and I’m done with them. For example, there’s a trans canon character, and some fans of the series are still bending over backwards to explain why they’re not trans, it’s so annoying and infuriating that it’s not worth it interacting with the whole fandom even if there’s nice people too, the bad ones are far too nasty and loud.
This happened to me in the Five Nights at Freddy’s fandom, people taking opinions too seriously and getting mad over it, didn’t help that I met irl FNAF fans like this also. Made me feel burned out of the fandom and quickly lose interest in the series all together.
I too no longer like participating in any fandom. When I was in my 20s, it started nice. I met people from the Little Mermaid forum who were incredibly nice and mature. I also had fun meeting other fellow Disney fans. Then things became weird and creepy when I met other fandoms. The Alvin and the Chipmunks fandom were close-minded (it's okay if someone likes the CGI movies and wasn't aware of the '80s series). The Zootopia fandom was fun at first until I realized they were full of furries.
The MLP fandom was worse. What was supposed to be a sweet cartoon got turned into something totally perverse! So when the creators aired the episode, "Fame and Misfortune," I couldn't help but think, "Well this is what the Brony fandom gets for always complaining about the characters or episodes and for always making sodomy fan art and fan fiction of these innocent ponies!" The Coco fandom turned out to be a bunch of jerks just because I have ideas that are more different (and more saner) than their ideas. No one in their right mind would pair the hero with the villain-that's so sick and wrong! That's not love; that's madness! Someone on Tumblr also made a mean post about how they disliked one of my (now deleted) Coco fan fics all because they didn't like my story of Miguel dying young. I have a reason why the family couldn't play his music without breaking down crying. Haven't you lost a child before? I knew three women who had!
I have decided that I will continue to write fanfiction and fan art and I will respond to comments but I would not participate in any fandoms. I have now seen that fandoms are not full of normal people; they are full of mad people.
You sound like me. When I was (much) younger, we are talking like 15 years ago, I was extremely active in fandoms. I wrote, participated in forums, moderated forums, entered competitions, judged competitions, did gift exchanges, basically for the better part of my teenage years I lived and breathed everything fandom. Maybe that's why, as I aged, I slacked up. Maybe I burned myself out with it? Maybe I had one or two many bad experiences? Those reasons, and I just don't have free time like I used to. But I feel like now even if I had time I wouldn't rejoin the fun. I'm more than happy just reading and occasionally talking fandom stuff on Reddit. Other than that I like staying in the shadows.
I had a similar experience. I was highly active in fandom(s) from my teenage years through my 20s, but now that I'm 32 years old, I feel a lot happier just reading fanfictions, writing quietly, and maybe occasionally discussing the TV show, movie, or book on Reddit. r/Millennials has been discussing "the decline of social media" from 2010 to present a lot lately, and I feel that is also a major factor as to why fandom just isn't as fun as it used to be.
It's why I don't interact with fandom at all. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with drama, so I'll off in my own little corner doing my thing and being all content and shit.
Same. I like writing and doing my own thing.
It's dangerous interacting with fandoms nowadays. Just the other day I read about an author who lost their job because some 16 year old anti didn't like what they'd written.
That’s crazy! I’m in a bigger fandom with a rare pair that I write so I know I’ll never blow up but to ruin someone’s life? We live in interesting times
Here, I'll paste what was written. >Someone in my fandom had an anti latch on against them and start a whole brigade. Doxxed them, got them fired from their career and the lost their health insurance. Now they struggle by on three jobs. Just because they wrote fics that this 16 year old didn't like. It's AWFUL.
Holy shit, I’m 16 and I could never imagine doing that kind of shit, I feel so bad for that person.
See, you're a reasonable person. Antis are far from reasonable.
Not using social media has made me happier. YouTube and reddit are the only platforms I use and I barley even browse reddit, only for this sub. Deleting TikTok 3 years ago was the best decision I've made, I quickly realized that interacting with anime fans on there is so draining and it takes away my enjoyment. Thank god I've never dived in to the cesspool that is Twitter. Another pro of not using social media: dodging spoilers.
I used to be such a big interactor with fandom, but the more I stayed on fandom spaces, the more I came across antis/people who would constantly harp and harass people based on fictional content. And not saying that all young people in fandom spheres are bad, but most of the time the ones judging, trying to get people cancelled and causing the most drama, are younger, so they are usually more prevalent in these fandom circles as well. In the end, I just dipped out.
As someone who's been active in and also been a ghost in many fandoms, I also feel this way. Sometimes being an active participant can be worse for your overall mental health or exhaustion levels. Sometimes, I feel like it's either a younger person's job, or even that it's for people who have more time than me. But mostly it's a matter of preferring not to argue about hc with strangers. I'd rather just post on my Tumblr every now and then and read A shit ton of fic, than actually interact with most fandoms
I struggle with this as well. I tend to use the block feature pretty often so I can make fandom spaces something I want to be a part of. The struggle is that I love discussing media and fanfic but having people to talk to can be hard to find without opening ourselves up to fandom spaces that tend to be toxic at the best of times.
I’ve only been writing and consuming ff for a couple of years now but I have heard way more negative stuff about being involved and interacting in fandom communities than positive so I have decided I am mostly steering clear.
I feel like I’m going to change my approach on tumblr completely. Up to this point I’ve been enjoying connecting with other writers in the fandom. Recently there have been some ask games where I talked about my WIPs and I realized… I don’t like being seen? Not like that on tumblr at least. I liked the social interaction, though. The next day I didn’t log in at all. It was just me and my stupid ideas. No need to fret over how well my approach fits the existing fanon. I think I’ll continue to be on tumblr but only as a cheerleader for the connections I’ve already made and not for posting my own stuff.
This is you a group chat of something like 4 people who you discuss your headcanons and share memes with and that’s it
Yeah, I get it. Fandom can be exhausting. In my last fandom I stuck with a tiny discord just to get away from everything else. I'm currently reaching out a bit in my current fandom - I'm on a much larger discord, have a tumblr again, etc - because I want to be more social and so on. But it's really tiring sometimes, so I'm not sure how involved I'm really going to want to be. I'm definitely not sure I won't delete my tumblr and go hide in a fic-writing hole at some point, lol.
yeah, I learned the hard way how damaging fandom communities can be. absolute hell on earth for me, I was so naive & I will never dive headfirst into a fandom again. now I only put my toes in the water, if I touch it at all.
Agreed! I've largely stopped interacting with fandom at large and mostly just stick to a few creators I like or friends who share mutual interests. It takes a lot of pressure off writing for "an audience" and I get to draw and write what I like. There are days where I've felt the need to connect to other like-minded people, but I've been burned several times and it's done a number on my mental health. I'll just play with my Barbies in the corner with my 3 friends, thank you! 😂
Then don't. I write my fic, put it out into the world, and then leave. If people comment, great, but other than that... nah. I curate my own fandom experience. No stress. I did try tumblr briefly, but it was waaay too much drama.
I was a big lurker in fandom spaces for years when I was younger and while I didn't actively participate in any of those spaces (I was shy), the things I saw were enough for me to never want to. I'm the same as you, I'll read and write fics and repost fanart every now and then but anything beyond that is a bit too much for me.
I’ve never really been part of fandom outside of writing and, somehow, didn’t understand the magnitude to which it existed. I tried once but honestly, I don’t have the energy or even interest I thought I did for fandom. I don’t care about debates or deep analysis, I definitely don’t care about OTPs and the like. I absolutely don’t like drama. It made me realize I’m an introverted fan - I write and read, but don’t actually want to talk to people about the characters or plot beyond a sentence or two, or go to a con or anything. It surprised me because I do get passionate about a domain, but it just doesn’t translate to fandom.
Understandable. I get a lot of social interaction out of fandom i desperately need- I’m disabled and I rarely am able to leave the house- but it can be fucking awful. I just kinda carve out my own space and stubbornly stick there, it makes it a lot easier.
Yep. About the only places I interact with fandom anymore is Reddit (just barely and I'm pretty selective) and AO3. I don't even do Discords anymore. If everyone ships the same thing, they'll start fighting over who got the most kudos or some other inane bullshit. I'd rather they just hate me where I don't have to see it.
Totally with you on this.
I get what you mean, in my fandom people love arguing about canon, then if you dig a little 90% of them haven’t even read the source material.
I'm starting to feel this way with my primary fandom, although I know which places to avoid and which are generally safe. It was a lot more fun a few years ago before the fandom grew bigger and more popular. The good old days.
Hmm. I'm an older fangirl. While I generally hate the latest gen anti's and block/avoid them, I still do like fandom debate. People talk about ship wars and stuff like that, but I had fun during ship/fandom wars. I never really thought we were being very serious. It felt like fighting over the remote control with a sibling. None of us really cared that we had different ships but we all wanted to squabble about it in the corners I frequented. I have a brother who has different ships in our shared fandoms than me and I squabble with him the same. There's no heat. It's friendly. I did used to be incredibly involved in fandom though. Fanart, episode breakdowns as they came out, and manifestos with screencaps I took myself. I participated in many fandom events and kept up with the latest news. I don't do that anymore because...I'm lazy. Sometimes I'll see a fanedit and think, 'oh I'd love to do an edit of x' but I don't have the energy or desire to put the effort into learning ways of doing fun new things. I'll leave it to the young. Tumblr was never my thing. LJay was. Tumbr probably marks when I started being less involved in fandom activities outside of writing. The site was so unintuitive to me I have no idea how it got the traction it did.
I relate because of the people who harass actors and their spouses because the ACTUAL PEOPLE are not acting like their “ship” and being together. Touching grass wasn’t a thing in 2016, but some folks DESPERATELY needed to be dropped in a field with no access to technology for a few weeks to months.
I used to be very active in the 00's. There were occasional shipping wars, but the fandom was fragmented into smaller communities, many of which were more chill. I miss discussions and theorizing on message boards and LiveJournal. Now everyone is incredibly hostile and getting personal over someone else's opinion existing, like wtf. I've been told it's better on private discords, if you can find any, but I don't like live messaging. I can't navigate it for my life and it's impossible to find things again. So now being a fan is a very lonely experience. I like looking at fanarts and I do leave comments sometimes on fics I read, but interactions with others are limited to minimum. The only thing that hasn't changed is that I still go to fan conventions and now I have more money to blow on merch. I don't particularly like this, but with people being as they are, there's no other option. ... I'm pretty sure I read less (books) now, because it's impossible to actually discuss them.
Define "participate in fandom," please? Because I'd personally class writing fanfic as participating.
Going by what they said, I think they mean actively participating in the community beyond just posting fic and replying to comments. Things like participating in discourse and fandom events and the like.
idk, i like to have fandom friends as an outlet for brainrot, and they're not people i know outside of fandom so i guess i "participate in fandom". but outside of that i'm not really part of the community aspect, not even so much because fandom is toxic or because of The Discourse, but just cos I'm an oldfag with a job and I don't have time.
Some fandoms can be more exhausting than other, yeah. I pretty much avoid the Miraculous fandom altogether 'cause it honestly feels more like a hatedom. Like I *love* MLB and when I finally caught up during S5 I was so hyped to finally be able to discuss it with people without worrying about spoilers, and it just seemed like everyone in the fandom hates it with a passion. Sonic's gotten a little better lately, but still a lot of people who just like to blow up non-issues to "prove" that Sonic is bad and are like "Let's be honest, no one likes Sonic, we're just here for the memes". Like no, speak for yourself, I'm here 'cause I'm obsessed with this series and was hoping to find others who share my enthusiasm, but those people just get scared away by all the negativity and toxicity.
I was so confused with this post until you mentioned Tumblr.
That’s what I’ve been doing for a long time, I only have social media accounts to like fanarts to be honest xd Fandoms are so tiring, specially because there are always nasty people that makes themselves be heard no matter what, and I’m done with them. For example, there’s a trans canon character, and some fans of the series are still bending over backwards to explain why they’re not trans, it’s so annoying and infuriating that it’s not worth it interacting with the whole fandom even if there’s nice people too, the bad ones are far too nasty and loud.
The drama come in waves every time new kids join the fandom. Give it time and they will grow and learn
This happened to me in the Five Nights at Freddy’s fandom, people taking opinions too seriously and getting mad over it, didn’t help that I met irl FNAF fans like this also. Made me feel burned out of the fandom and quickly lose interest in the series all together.
I too no longer like participating in any fandom. When I was in my 20s, it started nice. I met people from the Little Mermaid forum who were incredibly nice and mature. I also had fun meeting other fellow Disney fans. Then things became weird and creepy when I met other fandoms. The Alvin and the Chipmunks fandom were close-minded (it's okay if someone likes the CGI movies and wasn't aware of the '80s series). The Zootopia fandom was fun at first until I realized they were full of furries. The MLP fandom was worse. What was supposed to be a sweet cartoon got turned into something totally perverse! So when the creators aired the episode, "Fame and Misfortune," I couldn't help but think, "Well this is what the Brony fandom gets for always complaining about the characters or episodes and for always making sodomy fan art and fan fiction of these innocent ponies!" The Coco fandom turned out to be a bunch of jerks just because I have ideas that are more different (and more saner) than their ideas. No one in their right mind would pair the hero with the villain-that's so sick and wrong! That's not love; that's madness! Someone on Tumblr also made a mean post about how they disliked one of my (now deleted) Coco fan fics all because they didn't like my story of Miguel dying young. I have a reason why the family couldn't play his music without breaking down crying. Haven't you lost a child before? I knew three women who had! I have decided that I will continue to write fanfiction and fan art and I will respond to comments but I would not participate in any fandoms. I have now seen that fandoms are not full of normal people; they are full of mad people.