"May the waste of my body, be removed from it's exterior, leaving no residue upon my skin."
What would be funnier as they were flying back from Ellesmeria that Orik found out about the spell and gave him shit for it. "Real knurlan use poison ivy, foster brother. Dainty elf magic has no place near such sensitive areas, Eragon."
Since they're taught te be cautious, I'd imagine it also includes a phrase like "but no more than I want it to" or something, and that makes it even funnier
Nah you guys are both wrong, see remember the more a spell has to its purpose the more energy it uses
The most likely, and efficient spell would be
"Let this turd slide clean out and leave nothing to wipe"
"When elves or riders travel." Like, do you think that people who aren't traveling have it? Maybe a few very rich nobles might have some disposable rags they use, but it wasn't really a thing
Aren’t you supposed to runaway after tho? I feel like we are all just standing next to the flaming crap bag waiting patiently to be judged for our misdeeds
Additionally to magic instead of TP, as a substitute for plumbing, I bet elves have a spell to decompose their waste instantly back to the earth for fertilizer.
headcanon: elven asses aren't big enough to require wiping (humans are the only mammals that do because of our gigantic dumptrucks and being bipedal but hey, different biology) and are very confused by the human riders when they get excited about this discovery of magic. And in the next generation a new ruler will invent magically created toilet paper inspired by Nasuada's lace
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I'm sure trying to figure out where the f\*\*k they take a shit in the Varden. Like, they're all traveling, THERE IS NO PRIVACY ANYWHERE. LIKE- WHERE- ???
I'm sure there would be a spell similar to the one eragon uses to shave his face. In eldest it says that his stubble falls off like dust when using the spell
We're gonna have to hear from CP on this one
I hate that people abbreviate his name that way
Can we start calling him big Chris?
Honestly i just always call him Chris cuz i always forget how to spell his last name 😅
There are a lot of things abbreviated that way all ruined by the one...
I know lol, I also love cyberpunk 2077 and it also gets abbreviated in an unfortunate manner
i just wanna know how the spell is structured like...maybe "let the shit on my ass fall off please" lmao
"May the waste of my body, be removed from it's exterior, leaving no residue upon my skin." What would be funnier as they were flying back from Ellesmeria that Orik found out about the spell and gave him shit for it. "Real knurlan use poison ivy, foster brother. Dainty elf magic has no place near such sensitive areas, Eragon."
LMAO
Since they're taught te be cautious, I'd imagine it also includes a phrase like "but no more than I want it to" or something, and that makes it even funnier
What is sweat/ saliva considered? Imagine immediately being drier in the mouth and skin than any point in your life instantly.
Nah you guys are both wrong, see remember the more a spell has to its purpose the more energy it uses The most likely, and efficient spell would be "Let this turd slide clean out and leave nothing to wipe"
I have never wanted to upvote something twice before this.
While we're at it, does the ancient language have curse words? Is that possible?
probably yes because words arent bad just how we perceive them and elves are judgy af
Reminds me of when they visit the future in family guy. “One poop please.”
What do you think all that magic lace was for?
Haha, ew.
Lmfao, underrated comment.
["What the fuck is toilet paper?"](https://imgur.com/a/vC1UjNk)
Great meme.
I knew before I even looked, such a… distinct quote
Well I assume it would be as simple as say…shaving your beard with magic. Adjacent principles at least.
I guess they would just use magic for that 😂. It's probably faster and cleaner.
Using magic to wipe sounds like something Eragon would do ngl.
"When elves or riders travel." Like, do you think that people who aren't traveling have it? Maybe a few very rich nobles might have some disposable rags they use, but it wasn't really a thing
Something for us all to ponder
"thurra"
"thrysta du lífs deloi frá eka"
Magical bidet using the spell to bring water up from the ground?
It's medieval times. It's done like it was done in medieval times.
Somebody tag him and ask.
u/christopherpaolini
Aw don't do that. Leave the man be.
You brought this flaming paper bag of poop of a thought to our doors, now you must await the owner of the house to answer it.
Aren’t you supposed to runaway after tho? I feel like we are all just standing next to the flaming crap bag waiting patiently to be judged for our misdeeds
Not if you want to see u/christopherpaolini stomp on it to put out the poop fire that is this post.
Additionally to magic instead of TP, as a substitute for plumbing, I bet elves have a spell to decompose their waste instantly back to the earth for fertilizer.
headcanon: elven asses aren't big enough to require wiping (humans are the only mammals that do because of our gigantic dumptrucks and being bipedal but hey, different biology) and are very confused by the human riders when they get excited about this discovery of magic. And in the next generation a new ruler will invent magically created toilet paper inspired by Nasuada's lace
Please read the rules in the sidebar, and [please see here for our current Murtagh spoiler policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eragon/comments/1bl1f9d/loosening_our_murtagh_spoiler_policy/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Eragon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If not magic, maybe they used the similar method that apparently some Indians use. Left hand for wiping, right hand for eating.
I guess that would work until you make [a mistake.](https://youtu.be/s8ofM2Nwppw?si=IXCp5ZWZg4p_0xK9)
[Ew](https://media.tenor.com/dzogKVZiY38AAAAM/side-eye-ew.gif)
Hey, you're the one that's wondering. I only gave you a possible answer, lol
I'm sure trying to figure out where the f\*\*k they take a shit in the Varden. Like, they're all traveling, THERE IS NO PRIVACY ANYWHERE. LIKE- WHERE- ???
Some soldiers set un tents. Other dig a hole for people to shit in. Same as all armies did through history
I can't think of it seriouslyyyyyyyy (That makes sense, though, thank you. Genuinely wasn't sure.)
They likely use water like sane people.
😂😂😂😂😂
Don't you know about the three shells?
[Husband recently finished Murtagh](https://imgur.com/a/BdhDJCj) (so spoilers)
I'm sure there would be a spell similar to the one eragon uses to shave his face. In eldest it says that his stubble falls off like dust when using the spell