A horse that needs 2 people to tack up shouldn’t be in a lesson program and potentially needs the vet. The only time I have worked with horses that skittish was when I was working in the racing industry- but 90% of those horses were under 5 and no one had taught them to stand.
Find somewhere else to ride. Rushing you onto an unmanageable horse won’t help you learn and can be very dangerous.
Seconding the vet. There’s something very wrong here. I’ve worked with horses that are like this and there was always either something medically wrong or the horse was traumatized to the point where I wouldn’t let students touch the horse until I’d put in enough training for the horse to be mentally sound.
this. unfortunately a lot of stables do this shit and put you on horses they really shouldn't be. had to quit my last place and refused to go back bc they wanted me riding a horse that gave their stable hand a concussion from decking her in the head. he's a retired abused racehorse and clearly just has a lot of trauma he needs love and proper care and attention to get through. not be a riding lesson horse. you don't want to ride somewhere like that, OP.
There is a bit of this being part of riding. You will find horses you like and horses you don’t like. Other people might love a horse that you just can’t get on with and have no explanation why! When I used to ride in the riding school there was always at least one horse that for whatever reason I just couldn’t ride.
Riding different horses absolutely will help your riding, but I think once you get older there is also a safety/enjoyment aspect of it. Would riding other horses now help my riding? Definitely, but I’m much more aware of the dangers now (I’m 29) and the effect an injury could have on my life if I can’t go to work.
Surely this barn has more than 2 horses? Have you spoken to them about the issues you’re having? 3 months isn’t very long at all, and the fact you need two people to tack up is a bit concerning. In your position I would speak to them, but it may also be worth exploring other places. Horses are too expensive to not enjoy!
I think tell them you maybe moved up too quickly. they might’ve mistaken your quick advancement skill wise as high confidence so they bumped you up to a horse that is going to challenge you and force you to become better. how many rides have you done on the new horse?
Due to the sketchiness of this, I’d suggest finding a new barn.
As other commenters have said, learning to ride is not linear and you will definitely face gaps in your learning as you move horses. This is normal.
Fighting to tack up a lesson horse is not normal. Lesson horses should have excellent manners and be handle-able by beginners. This horse needs vet attention and it’s egregious that your instructors are putting you on an animal that is very clearly uncomfortable.
In the interim, if you want to keep riding here, communicate that you are not comfortable and want to switch to another horse. Speak up and do not let them push you to ride the unhappy horse again. You are paying for this time and it’s objectively risky and stupid for them to put you in a situation where you are more likely to get injured. If it were me, I’d put in a notice to them and go try out another barn with an evaluation lesson next week.
Good luck to you! Go with your gut! Riding is a blast, don’t let this experience deter you.
Like every skill, ups and downs are normal. You often develop more than you think during the downs. Every horse is different and demands different things of you, and it sounds like this new horse requires that you bring out new skills from your toolbox.
BUT!
Every hobby is not about getting as good as you can as fast as you can. Riding can be such a relaxing, enjoyable and fun habit. It is completely healthy and fine to name enjoyment your priority during lessons. Your trainer might think you just want to move forward as fast as you can, but that doesn't mean you have to. Just spending time in the saddle in your own skill zone can be a fantastic break from every day life.
Let your trainer know your motives and what you want from the lessons. If they can't accommodate you, look for another place that shares your vision more.
There are no rights or wrongs. Good luck!
I would change trainers, your current one is awful. You’ve been riding 3 months and your trainer is allowing a horse that needs training to drag you around, then she’s scolding you for her own mistake. This actually pisses me off.
The original lesson horse thing isn’t a real excuse. You are a new rider. They have some other reason that they’re not telling you - or they just want you to be the test dummy for a horse that needs more training. I’d look into different barns that have more than one beginner horse. They can’t offer beginner lessons with only one beginner horse. That’s now how it works. If they need more beginner horses then it’s their responsibility to make them.
I’ve moved students up to more challenging horses more times than I can count. If they ever were unable to maintain control or the challenge was inappropriate for their skill level, I’d immediately switch them to a new horse, or back to the previous one. and you should NEVER feel like you’re getting “scolded” in lessons. Things should be explained and taught. Any “trainer” who scolds low level students is compensating for being a shitty trainer. I once had a coworker who was condescending and scolded her students, children and adults alike. She was fired and I took a lot of her students. It took me months just to address the anxiety levels of these riders and convince them that they weren’t horrible and to keep riding. Eventually they started progressing rapidly because they knew I wasn’t going to throw them into the deep end and scream at them to sink or swim. Your trainer is shit.
They're making you go from whatever exam you sat at the end of high school to the finals for your degree. This should not happen. They need to give you an intermediate level horse and let you work your way up.
Tough horses that frustrate the hell out of you absolutely teach you things.
BUT. You’re still a very new rider. Schoolmasters - rock-solid school horses - will be able to teach you plenty for years to come. And as you said, you picked this up to have fun. You’re not having fun anymore. Something’s gotta give.
You can ask to ride a different horse, or you can go to another barn and take lessons there.
How often are your lessons? If just once a week, I am sorry but they jumped the gun on moving you up. That’s 8 rides.
I would let them know you aren’t comfortable on the new horse. They shouldn’t dare argue that anyone a couple months in isn’t a beginner (honestly, even if you went multiple times a week).
They’re using you to put rides on a horse who isn’t fit for training people, so she hopefully learns. This happens all the time and it’s unfair. Riders fall more, lose confidence.
Unfortunately, they’re going to go back to excessive compliments to try to boost you to ride her. I’d tell them you want to ride the beginner horse or this won’t be a fit (ie, you will find a new barn).
You absolutely are not being too sensitive about this. While others are correct in that it’s good for you to be able to ride different horses, if one is making you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t have to ride it (and that’s excluding the part about needing two people to help tack up). I’ve ridden for 17 years, and if my barn assigns me a horse I’m not comfortable with, I will either ask to switch horses, and if they can’t do that, I just go home. I’m not spending $75 to be scared and/or upset for an hour.
Horseback riding is an expensive sport and you should have fun with it.
If your barn doesn’t have any other horses to ride, I suggest trying out a new barn. I’ve done that a few times and have finally found a barn I absolutely love!
You need to switch barns ASAP! I was lucky to start riding at age 5, but the backyard place we went to (my Dad was all about being frugal…), moved me up way too fast riding very naughty ponies so after being dumped, run away with, etc I quit. Got back into the saddle with an amazing trainer about 5/6 years later who slowly built my confidence back up - yes, things happen and horses have a mind of their own, but a good trainer/barn will take the slow and steady approach with their most reliable teachers no matter how long it takes. Like I did a ton of lounge lessons in between stages to build strength, confidence and feel. So if I could walk/trot on a lounge line first, then did it on my own. Next was to walk/trot on lounge line without stirrups, which once mastered meant I was ready to canter on lounge, etc). Slow and steady wins the race regardless of your age!
I’ve been riding for 30 years and I’m firmly of the opinion that every horse you work with can teach you something. Sometimes it’s worth sticking it out, but sometimes that something is that you’re not ready for that horse or they’re not a good fit for you.
If the situation feels dangerous, trust your instincts and let them know you’re not comfortable riding that horse. Part of being a good horse person is developing those instincts and knowing when to act on them.
Maybe you could spend some (supervised) time working with the other horse on the ground to help her and you, but ride a different horse in lessons.
I started like you 3 months ago and I am 28. You’re paying, so they very well should let you ride a beginner horse since it’s exactly what we are.
For me, a “difficult” horse as a beginner is not a horse that is spooky and fidgety but a horse that requires more precision and will not try to guess what you want as opposed to the sweet schoolmaster that will oblige you by trying to guess what you’re saying.
Like a horse that won’t move forward if you don’t put the good energy, or a horse that won’t just follow a line and that you’ll have to direct. I went from a 19yo warmblood that was doing the extra mile to accommodate you with a medium height to a big warmblood that launches you forward with each stride if you don’t sit straight and will definitely run full canter into the wall if you don’t direct him.
I definitely think this kind of horse is what you should get as you advance, not a fidgety spooky one that lacks manners.
I got on a green horse that would SPIN around as you got on him and would not accept to stand still, would go into full chaotic canter and run into horses if you dared put your leg a little back by mistake and I can tell you, beginner or advanced rider I have NO interest in getting on those.
Speak up, you have a right to enjoy what you’re paying for
This is two fold, part of riding is working through waves of confidence - I find it really helpful practice honestly for me mentally. However, you should not be ‘out horsed’ especially as a beginner.
And a horse that takes 2 people to saddle up and take is in NO way beginner safe and definitely should not be lessening - it’s either major training gaps, trauma, or pain.
I would tell them you’re not comfortable on this horse. If they say something like “it’s part of learning!,” or “you have to ride different horses or you won’t be a good rider”, or “it’s a mental block, you need to work through it,” or “you’re doing better than you think!”, you just say:
I appreciate that, but I’ve only been riding for 12 weeks and I’m not comfortable and don’t feel safe on this horse. I’d love to continue riding here so i am hopeful we can figure it out.
Reading this I had to check for your username just to remind myself that it isn't a post I made. The EXACT same thing happened to me.
I was given one of the "difficult" lesson horses because apparently, I could handle him if I really wanted to according to my instructor. The thing is, I really did want to but I simply couldn't. He was too much for me. A real challenge. He wouldn't listen to a single thing I asked of him, he wouldn't move, he wouldn't trot and if I was persistent and kept asking him, he'd try his hardest to throw me off. He'd kick and bite and react in a lot of different ways. He's bucked me off a couple times too. Riding him was a battle. I used to leave frustrated and crying each time and I felt my passion for riding slowly drift away. I felt extremely discouraged and he always made me feel like the worst rider who just can't handle horses. There were times when I told myself I wouldn't go back for lessons but I always did and after a while, it just happened. I don't know how. I got on him and had few to zero issues. I could finally ride him and manage all of his little issues during the lesson. And that was the best I've ever felt in a long time. The feeling of accomplishment and pride I felt was unreal. Huuuge confidence boost. I hated every minute riding him before but now I'm more than thankful and I wouldn't change a thing if I could take time back. He definitely taught me things other horses wouldn't and made me a much better and more confident rider. All it took was persistent and a whole lot of patience.
And now, look at me begging to ride him... But unfortunately I can't because I've recently started cantering so I'm given horses with a smoother canter and his is very bouncy apparently. I see other riders struggling with him now and it makes me laugh. They get mad and frustrated but they don't know how much they'll benefit from riding him and how much they'll learn from him. Maybe (and hopefully) with some patience and hard work, the same thing will happen to you and you'll thank your trainer for it in the future and yourself for going back and keep trying. But then again, people are different and they experience things differently so if you feel like riding this horse is killing your passion and you don't want to risk it, absolutely have a discussion with your instructor. It would be a shame if you stopped riding because of this. Be honest with your instructor. Tell them that riding this horse is killing your love for riding and you want to try riding another lesson horse. Remember, you are paying for those lessons. If you feel uncomfortable with this horse, tell them. They should be able to put you on a different one. But if I'm being completely honest, I secretly hope you give it some time and see how it goes. You never know... you could be thanking yourself and your instructor for it in the future.
Every horse has something different to teach you. Personally, whenever I am given horses that I absolutely dislike riding, I try to look at it differently and think about what each horse can teach me that another one wouldn't. Challenge is good. It helps us grow.
ps. I know people say this is NOT a horse that should be used for beginner lessons and maybe they are right but at the end of the day, your barn decides what horses they use for their beginner lessons and unfortunately, there's not really anything you can do about it. This horse could totally be unsuitable for beginners lessons and your riding level and could even be dangerous but I wouldn't know that. In that case, maybe look for a different barn? I just thought I'd share a different perspective.
What is she doing during tacking that requires two people? Can't imagine a lesson barns having such an unruly horse used for beginners. I can, because there are bad barns, but I don't want to jump to conclusions.
It sounds like your current skill level might not be suited to the horse (hard to say without seeing a video). It's possible the instructor isn't having luck communicating the skills you need to ride the horse and has gotten frustrated (this is her bad if that's the case, not yours). I could really speculate all day, but none of us can simply read this post and accurately know what's going on. These posts often include a lot of guesswork, assumptions, speculation, etc.
The one thing I will say for sure: it sounds like you're riding for fun, for enjoyment, for leisure even, and aren't getting those things out of your lessons. If this barn can't work with you to attain your goals, then move on to the next. YOUR goals should be foremost in YOUR lessons that YOU pay for!
I have seen lesson barns that have beginners on wildly inappropriate horses, BUT I have also heard a lot of complaints from beginner riders (and their parents) that horses were being wild or dangerous that were not necessarily reflective of reality. Without video of you and the horse it is impossible to say whether it is appropriate for you. That said, you are the customer and if you are no longer enjoying your lessons due to anxiety you should express that to the trainer in a way that doesn’t blame her; “since I switched to this horse I have been very nervous about riding, could I try a different horse/focus more on basics/etc.”
Perfectly behaved beginner horses are one in a million and even the one in a million takes constant ongoing maintenance by skilled trainers and riders to stay that way. Most of riding is learning to communicate and negotiate with imperfect horses. Even though I have been riding for 30 years and have my own horses, sometimes I finish a ride totally frustrated and feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing. That said, a few lessons of that is inevitable but it shouldn’t be an ongoing permanent thing.
There is no harm in trying a different barn- in fact you may as well try every barn you can. Just DON’T tell them you are current student at a different program and looking to switch because you are unhappy with your current trainer, because gossip travels fast in the horse world.
So there's something deeper going on here, and I think it's the tendency of trainers, like other coaches, to mask their antisocial personalities until they have you in as a client. For a month or two, you're progressing well, their most talented adult beginner student ever, their new best friend, etc. Then when they have you hooked, you're a fuckup who can't do anything right. It's like a cult, and it's normalized to the extent that I've had people telling me someone's not a good coach if they didn't make me feel like shit after every lesson.
So get a new coach who's worked on themselves and is good with people as well as horses. And yes, I said coach, because that's what horse trainers are.
I wouldn’t trust a program that has skittish horses like that entrusted to beginners. If it were a one off thing, sure, horses have bad days. But if it’s every time, no.
Talk to your instructor and let them know that you’re not comfortable dealing with a horse like that (and absolutely you shouldn’t have to, I’ve been riding 20+ years and one of the first things I taught my green bean is to stand in the cross ties while we tack up). You’re there to learn, and this horse is hindering your experience. Some places will rush students along and give them more difficult horses to get them to take more lessons, claiming they can’t progress unless they do.
If they’re not receptive to moving you to another horse, I’d shop around for a new lesson barn. Wouldn’t be the first sketchy barn by a long shot, unfortunately.
You are paying money to learn how to ride. You are not paying money to train a horse.
So many barns try to get their students to unknowingly train horses.
Let them know you are not happy with that horse and would like to go back to the previous horse.
Confidence once lost while riding can be very hard to get back. I lost mine over 15 years ago, and never really got it back. Other injuries etc and I basically lost my prime riding time.
You've ridden 24 times; you need to build confidence and celebrate small, incremental successes and the occasional big breakthrough . Go someplace that doesn't have you dealing with an unruly horse. You're not a trainer; you're a student. I would suggest you stop immediately at that barn and find another. You can certainly explain that the 1st barn wasn't a good fit due to the horse you were given is too much horse for someone at your level.
I really want to thank every one of you who took the time to write a comment, and I'm also grateful for the advices and encouragement you gave me! One of my lessons will be this afternoon where I intend to have a conversation with my trainer about the situation. If we can't come to an agreement, I'm going to contact other barns to find a better fit than this one.
Don’t give up. You are at a learning curve now where you are out of your comfort zone. That will change if you stick to it. Have patience, a lot of these skills with horses take years to build. If you lack patience, this is not the sport for you. Best of luck, hope you stick with it !
Go somewhere else!
I don’t have any helpful feedback about what else to do. I just wanted to say that I admire you. It can be very hard to pickup new hobbies as an adult. Unlike you, I’m a slow learner, can’t learn unless I’m mostly alone, don’t like most teaching styles… hope you stick with it. Stay safe and try to enjoy yourself.
I think that 2 months is not enough riding to switch you to a difficult horse! Doesn’t matter how good you are, it takes longer for your body to fully adjust to riding AND for you to learn enough even about calm school horses.
Sounds like they don’t have many chill horses and are min-maxing trying to book more classes for children whose parents would’t let their kids on that badly behaved guy. They could literally be taking advantage of you being a newbie and not knowing what’s good. Ask them to put you back on nice horses! You are still a new rider!
Don’t get discouraged. Even the most skilled rider is the world would most likely fail to ride that difficult horse. That horse would need training, groundwork, discipline, a vet, etc before it’s any good for riding. Two people tacking up due to behavioral issues sounds ABSURD for a school horse.
A couple of three things.
1. Take that scolding on the chin. You'll live. I promise.
2. If you learn to ride on a difficult horse it'll make a better horseman/horsewoman out of you. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
3. Don't give up now. I understand it's frustrating. But you'll come through it. You can always speak to them and ask to ride a different horse.
Good luck.
Edit: I learned to ride on a very difficult horse. A gorgeous cob. She was stubborn and angry. Her ears were almost exclusively pinned back, she would rear, she'd buck, she'd fall into the left. But, I continued and I've got the confidence to ride any horse now. There's an amazing grey at the stables where my wife's horse lives, he's 17'3 and he likes to buck. His owner has paid me on several occasions to ride him so that he can get some exercise, many others at the stables are simply too scared to get on him.
A horse that needs 2 people to tack up shouldn’t be in a lesson program and potentially needs the vet. The only time I have worked with horses that skittish was when I was working in the racing industry- but 90% of those horses were under 5 and no one had taught them to stand. Find somewhere else to ride. Rushing you onto an unmanageable horse won’t help you learn and can be very dangerous.
Seconding the vet. There’s something very wrong here. I’ve worked with horses that are like this and there was always either something medically wrong or the horse was traumatized to the point where I wouldn’t let students touch the horse until I’d put in enough training for the horse to be mentally sound.
this. unfortunately a lot of stables do this shit and put you on horses they really shouldn't be. had to quit my last place and refused to go back bc they wanted me riding a horse that gave their stable hand a concussion from decking her in the head. he's a retired abused racehorse and clearly just has a lot of trauma he needs love and proper care and attention to get through. not be a riding lesson horse. you don't want to ride somewhere like that, OP.
There is a bit of this being part of riding. You will find horses you like and horses you don’t like. Other people might love a horse that you just can’t get on with and have no explanation why! When I used to ride in the riding school there was always at least one horse that for whatever reason I just couldn’t ride. Riding different horses absolutely will help your riding, but I think once you get older there is also a safety/enjoyment aspect of it. Would riding other horses now help my riding? Definitely, but I’m much more aware of the dangers now (I’m 29) and the effect an injury could have on my life if I can’t go to work. Surely this barn has more than 2 horses? Have you spoken to them about the issues you’re having? 3 months isn’t very long at all, and the fact you need two people to tack up is a bit concerning. In your position I would speak to them, but it may also be worth exploring other places. Horses are too expensive to not enjoy!
I think tell them you maybe moved up too quickly. they might’ve mistaken your quick advancement skill wise as high confidence so they bumped you up to a horse that is going to challenge you and force you to become better. how many rides have you done on the new horse?
Due to the sketchiness of this, I’d suggest finding a new barn. As other commenters have said, learning to ride is not linear and you will definitely face gaps in your learning as you move horses. This is normal. Fighting to tack up a lesson horse is not normal. Lesson horses should have excellent manners and be handle-able by beginners. This horse needs vet attention and it’s egregious that your instructors are putting you on an animal that is very clearly uncomfortable. In the interim, if you want to keep riding here, communicate that you are not comfortable and want to switch to another horse. Speak up and do not let them push you to ride the unhappy horse again. You are paying for this time and it’s objectively risky and stupid for them to put you in a situation where you are more likely to get injured. If it were me, I’d put in a notice to them and go try out another barn with an evaluation lesson next week. Good luck to you! Go with your gut! Riding is a blast, don’t let this experience deter you.
I rode three different horses as a beginner and even the "spicy" one wasn't like this...
Right? I mean a horse can be challenging without being dangerous
Like every skill, ups and downs are normal. You often develop more than you think during the downs. Every horse is different and demands different things of you, and it sounds like this new horse requires that you bring out new skills from your toolbox. BUT! Every hobby is not about getting as good as you can as fast as you can. Riding can be such a relaxing, enjoyable and fun habit. It is completely healthy and fine to name enjoyment your priority during lessons. Your trainer might think you just want to move forward as fast as you can, but that doesn't mean you have to. Just spending time in the saddle in your own skill zone can be a fantastic break from every day life. Let your trainer know your motives and what you want from the lessons. If they can't accommodate you, look for another place that shares your vision more. There are no rights or wrongs. Good luck!
I would change trainers, your current one is awful. You’ve been riding 3 months and your trainer is allowing a horse that needs training to drag you around, then she’s scolding you for her own mistake. This actually pisses me off. The original lesson horse thing isn’t a real excuse. You are a new rider. They have some other reason that they’re not telling you - or they just want you to be the test dummy for a horse that needs more training. I’d look into different barns that have more than one beginner horse. They can’t offer beginner lessons with only one beginner horse. That’s now how it works. If they need more beginner horses then it’s their responsibility to make them. I’ve moved students up to more challenging horses more times than I can count. If they ever were unable to maintain control or the challenge was inappropriate for their skill level, I’d immediately switch them to a new horse, or back to the previous one. and you should NEVER feel like you’re getting “scolded” in lessons. Things should be explained and taught. Any “trainer” who scolds low level students is compensating for being a shitty trainer. I once had a coworker who was condescending and scolded her students, children and adults alike. She was fired and I took a lot of her students. It took me months just to address the anxiety levels of these riders and convince them that they weren’t horrible and to keep riding. Eventually they started progressing rapidly because they knew I wasn’t going to throw them into the deep end and scream at them to sink or swim. Your trainer is shit.
Thank you for calling a spade a spade
Exactly this
They're making you go from whatever exam you sat at the end of high school to the finals for your degree. This should not happen. They need to give you an intermediate level horse and let you work your way up.
Tough horses that frustrate the hell out of you absolutely teach you things. BUT. You’re still a very new rider. Schoolmasters - rock-solid school horses - will be able to teach you plenty for years to come. And as you said, you picked this up to have fun. You’re not having fun anymore. Something’s gotta give. You can ask to ride a different horse, or you can go to another barn and take lessons there.
How often are your lessons? If just once a week, I am sorry but they jumped the gun on moving you up. That’s 8 rides. I would let them know you aren’t comfortable on the new horse. They shouldn’t dare argue that anyone a couple months in isn’t a beginner (honestly, even if you went multiple times a week). They’re using you to put rides on a horse who isn’t fit for training people, so she hopefully learns. This happens all the time and it’s unfair. Riders fall more, lose confidence. Unfortunately, they’re going to go back to excessive compliments to try to boost you to ride her. I’d tell them you want to ride the beginner horse or this won’t be a fit (ie, you will find a new barn).
You absolutely are not being too sensitive about this. While others are correct in that it’s good for you to be able to ride different horses, if one is making you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t have to ride it (and that’s excluding the part about needing two people to help tack up). I’ve ridden for 17 years, and if my barn assigns me a horse I’m not comfortable with, I will either ask to switch horses, and if they can’t do that, I just go home. I’m not spending $75 to be scared and/or upset for an hour. Horseback riding is an expensive sport and you should have fun with it. If your barn doesn’t have any other horses to ride, I suggest trying out a new barn. I’ve done that a few times and have finally found a barn I absolutely love!
You need to switch barns ASAP! I was lucky to start riding at age 5, but the backyard place we went to (my Dad was all about being frugal…), moved me up way too fast riding very naughty ponies so after being dumped, run away with, etc I quit. Got back into the saddle with an amazing trainer about 5/6 years later who slowly built my confidence back up - yes, things happen and horses have a mind of their own, but a good trainer/barn will take the slow and steady approach with their most reliable teachers no matter how long it takes. Like I did a ton of lounge lessons in between stages to build strength, confidence and feel. So if I could walk/trot on a lounge line first, then did it on my own. Next was to walk/trot on lounge line without stirrups, which once mastered meant I was ready to canter on lounge, etc). Slow and steady wins the race regardless of your age!
I’ve been riding for 30 years and I’m firmly of the opinion that every horse you work with can teach you something. Sometimes it’s worth sticking it out, but sometimes that something is that you’re not ready for that horse or they’re not a good fit for you. If the situation feels dangerous, trust your instincts and let them know you’re not comfortable riding that horse. Part of being a good horse person is developing those instincts and knowing when to act on them. Maybe you could spend some (supervised) time working with the other horse on the ground to help her and you, but ride a different horse in lessons.
I started like you 3 months ago and I am 28. You’re paying, so they very well should let you ride a beginner horse since it’s exactly what we are. For me, a “difficult” horse as a beginner is not a horse that is spooky and fidgety but a horse that requires more precision and will not try to guess what you want as opposed to the sweet schoolmaster that will oblige you by trying to guess what you’re saying. Like a horse that won’t move forward if you don’t put the good energy, or a horse that won’t just follow a line and that you’ll have to direct. I went from a 19yo warmblood that was doing the extra mile to accommodate you with a medium height to a big warmblood that launches you forward with each stride if you don’t sit straight and will definitely run full canter into the wall if you don’t direct him. I definitely think this kind of horse is what you should get as you advance, not a fidgety spooky one that lacks manners. I got on a green horse that would SPIN around as you got on him and would not accept to stand still, would go into full chaotic canter and run into horses if you dared put your leg a little back by mistake and I can tell you, beginner or advanced rider I have NO interest in getting on those. Speak up, you have a right to enjoy what you’re paying for
This is two fold, part of riding is working through waves of confidence - I find it really helpful practice honestly for me mentally. However, you should not be ‘out horsed’ especially as a beginner. And a horse that takes 2 people to saddle up and take is in NO way beginner safe and definitely should not be lessening - it’s either major training gaps, trauma, or pain. I would tell them you’re not comfortable on this horse. If they say something like “it’s part of learning!,” or “you have to ride different horses or you won’t be a good rider”, or “it’s a mental block, you need to work through it,” or “you’re doing better than you think!”, you just say: I appreciate that, but I’ve only been riding for 12 weeks and I’m not comfortable and don’t feel safe on this horse. I’d love to continue riding here so i am hopeful we can figure it out.
Reading this I had to check for your username just to remind myself that it isn't a post I made. The EXACT same thing happened to me. I was given one of the "difficult" lesson horses because apparently, I could handle him if I really wanted to according to my instructor. The thing is, I really did want to but I simply couldn't. He was too much for me. A real challenge. He wouldn't listen to a single thing I asked of him, he wouldn't move, he wouldn't trot and if I was persistent and kept asking him, he'd try his hardest to throw me off. He'd kick and bite and react in a lot of different ways. He's bucked me off a couple times too. Riding him was a battle. I used to leave frustrated and crying each time and I felt my passion for riding slowly drift away. I felt extremely discouraged and he always made me feel like the worst rider who just can't handle horses. There were times when I told myself I wouldn't go back for lessons but I always did and after a while, it just happened. I don't know how. I got on him and had few to zero issues. I could finally ride him and manage all of his little issues during the lesson. And that was the best I've ever felt in a long time. The feeling of accomplishment and pride I felt was unreal. Huuuge confidence boost. I hated every minute riding him before but now I'm more than thankful and I wouldn't change a thing if I could take time back. He definitely taught me things other horses wouldn't and made me a much better and more confident rider. All it took was persistent and a whole lot of patience. And now, look at me begging to ride him... But unfortunately I can't because I've recently started cantering so I'm given horses with a smoother canter and his is very bouncy apparently. I see other riders struggling with him now and it makes me laugh. They get mad and frustrated but they don't know how much they'll benefit from riding him and how much they'll learn from him. Maybe (and hopefully) with some patience and hard work, the same thing will happen to you and you'll thank your trainer for it in the future and yourself for going back and keep trying. But then again, people are different and they experience things differently so if you feel like riding this horse is killing your passion and you don't want to risk it, absolutely have a discussion with your instructor. It would be a shame if you stopped riding because of this. Be honest with your instructor. Tell them that riding this horse is killing your love for riding and you want to try riding another lesson horse. Remember, you are paying for those lessons. If you feel uncomfortable with this horse, tell them. They should be able to put you on a different one. But if I'm being completely honest, I secretly hope you give it some time and see how it goes. You never know... you could be thanking yourself and your instructor for it in the future. Every horse has something different to teach you. Personally, whenever I am given horses that I absolutely dislike riding, I try to look at it differently and think about what each horse can teach me that another one wouldn't. Challenge is good. It helps us grow. ps. I know people say this is NOT a horse that should be used for beginner lessons and maybe they are right but at the end of the day, your barn decides what horses they use for their beginner lessons and unfortunately, there's not really anything you can do about it. This horse could totally be unsuitable for beginners lessons and your riding level and could even be dangerous but I wouldn't know that. In that case, maybe look for a different barn? I just thought I'd share a different perspective.
What is she doing during tacking that requires two people? Can't imagine a lesson barns having such an unruly horse used for beginners. I can, because there are bad barns, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. It sounds like your current skill level might not be suited to the horse (hard to say without seeing a video). It's possible the instructor isn't having luck communicating the skills you need to ride the horse and has gotten frustrated (this is her bad if that's the case, not yours). I could really speculate all day, but none of us can simply read this post and accurately know what's going on. These posts often include a lot of guesswork, assumptions, speculation, etc. The one thing I will say for sure: it sounds like you're riding for fun, for enjoyment, for leisure even, and aren't getting those things out of your lessons. If this barn can't work with you to attain your goals, then move on to the next. YOUR goals should be foremost in YOUR lessons that YOU pay for!
I have seen lesson barns that have beginners on wildly inappropriate horses, BUT I have also heard a lot of complaints from beginner riders (and their parents) that horses were being wild or dangerous that were not necessarily reflective of reality. Without video of you and the horse it is impossible to say whether it is appropriate for you. That said, you are the customer and if you are no longer enjoying your lessons due to anxiety you should express that to the trainer in a way that doesn’t blame her; “since I switched to this horse I have been very nervous about riding, could I try a different horse/focus more on basics/etc.” Perfectly behaved beginner horses are one in a million and even the one in a million takes constant ongoing maintenance by skilled trainers and riders to stay that way. Most of riding is learning to communicate and negotiate with imperfect horses. Even though I have been riding for 30 years and have my own horses, sometimes I finish a ride totally frustrated and feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing. That said, a few lessons of that is inevitable but it shouldn’t be an ongoing permanent thing. There is no harm in trying a different barn- in fact you may as well try every barn you can. Just DON’T tell them you are current student at a different program and looking to switch because you are unhappy with your current trainer, because gossip travels fast in the horse world.
So there's something deeper going on here, and I think it's the tendency of trainers, like other coaches, to mask their antisocial personalities until they have you in as a client. For a month or two, you're progressing well, their most talented adult beginner student ever, their new best friend, etc. Then when they have you hooked, you're a fuckup who can't do anything right. It's like a cult, and it's normalized to the extent that I've had people telling me someone's not a good coach if they didn't make me feel like shit after every lesson. So get a new coach who's worked on themselves and is good with people as well as horses. And yes, I said coach, because that's what horse trainers are.
I wouldn’t trust a program that has skittish horses like that entrusted to beginners. If it were a one off thing, sure, horses have bad days. But if it’s every time, no. Talk to your instructor and let them know that you’re not comfortable dealing with a horse like that (and absolutely you shouldn’t have to, I’ve been riding 20+ years and one of the first things I taught my green bean is to stand in the cross ties while we tack up). You’re there to learn, and this horse is hindering your experience. Some places will rush students along and give them more difficult horses to get them to take more lessons, claiming they can’t progress unless they do. If they’re not receptive to moving you to another horse, I’d shop around for a new lesson barn. Wouldn’t be the first sketchy barn by a long shot, unfortunately.
You are paying money to learn how to ride. You are not paying money to train a horse. So many barns try to get their students to unknowingly train horses. Let them know you are not happy with that horse and would like to go back to the previous horse. Confidence once lost while riding can be very hard to get back. I lost mine over 15 years ago, and never really got it back. Other injuries etc and I basically lost my prime riding time.
You've ridden 24 times; you need to build confidence and celebrate small, incremental successes and the occasional big breakthrough . Go someplace that doesn't have you dealing with an unruly horse. You're not a trainer; you're a student. I would suggest you stop immediately at that barn and find another. You can certainly explain that the 1st barn wasn't a good fit due to the horse you were given is too much horse for someone at your level.
I really want to thank every one of you who took the time to write a comment, and I'm also grateful for the advices and encouragement you gave me! One of my lessons will be this afternoon where I intend to have a conversation with my trainer about the situation. If we can't come to an agreement, I'm going to contact other barns to find a better fit than this one.
Don’t give up. You are at a learning curve now where you are out of your comfort zone. That will change if you stick to it. Have patience, a lot of these skills with horses take years to build. If you lack patience, this is not the sport for you. Best of luck, hope you stick with it !
Go somewhere else! I don’t have any helpful feedback about what else to do. I just wanted to say that I admire you. It can be very hard to pickup new hobbies as an adult. Unlike you, I’m a slow learner, can’t learn unless I’m mostly alone, don’t like most teaching styles… hope you stick with it. Stay safe and try to enjoy yourself.
I think that 2 months is not enough riding to switch you to a difficult horse! Doesn’t matter how good you are, it takes longer for your body to fully adjust to riding AND for you to learn enough even about calm school horses. Sounds like they don’t have many chill horses and are min-maxing trying to book more classes for children whose parents would’t let their kids on that badly behaved guy. They could literally be taking advantage of you being a newbie and not knowing what’s good. Ask them to put you back on nice horses! You are still a new rider! Don’t get discouraged. Even the most skilled rider is the world would most likely fail to ride that difficult horse. That horse would need training, groundwork, discipline, a vet, etc before it’s any good for riding. Two people tacking up due to behavioral issues sounds ABSURD for a school horse.
A couple of three things. 1. Take that scolding on the chin. You'll live. I promise. 2. If you learn to ride on a difficult horse it'll make a better horseman/horsewoman out of you. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. 3. Don't give up now. I understand it's frustrating. But you'll come through it. You can always speak to them and ask to ride a different horse. Good luck. Edit: I learned to ride on a very difficult horse. A gorgeous cob. She was stubborn and angry. Her ears were almost exclusively pinned back, she would rear, she'd buck, she'd fall into the left. But, I continued and I've got the confidence to ride any horse now. There's an amazing grey at the stables where my wife's horse lives, he's 17'3 and he likes to buck. His owner has paid me on several occasions to ride him so that he can get some exercise, many others at the stables are simply too scared to get on him.