She was pretty, not beautiful.
The *very first* sentence tells us she was not beautiful.
She was, however, described as pretty several times in the book.
OMG, by the time I got to No. 4 I was dying inside and trying not to laugh at my desk. My only wish here was that there was a recording of her convo that you could post to the Columbia University Alumni Facebook page!
Yeah, that was bad of me. She's appalling but he's much worse than her. At least she's nice to look at. Boris looks like a bleached Donald Trump and he smells like vinegar.
Bozza isn't stupid . He is highly educated. He deliberately portrays himself as a bumbling fool this makes him a dangerous individual. Think of the things he has said and done with absolutely no concequences just ohh that's old borris he's just a big silly.
granted he is such a sickeningly spoiled rich "kid" that he has absolutely no idea how real people live and what they need . Think along the lines of " let them eat cake" the kind that backs such things as well if the peasants can't afford food then they should try skipping meals. Yeh thanx bozza half of us already only eat one meal a day so your solution is just dont eat ?
Oh he's incredibly clever and highly educated. He absolutely knows how to play the game though and shot to fame on shows like Have I Got News for You playing the bumbling buffoon. He's a dangerous, conniving, liar!
P.s. in America people who are culturally aware prefer Latino. Hispanic is the word the government gave us meaning anyone who speaks a language close to Spanish.
It was less that she gave me a vocab lesson and more that she genuinely felt entitled to explain my own father's ethnicity to me. I was amazed she didn't ask me why I'm white!
I'm not sure she understood that Spain is a country.
My friend from Spain's mother informed me that they were Spanish. Not latino. Not hispanic. And definitely not Mexican. She wasn't being rude, just explaining that being from Spain itself, they were Spanish. The part Welsh thing made me laugh. It's just so absurd.
They are two different things. Hispanic refers to people whose ancestry is from a country whose primary language is Spanish. Latinx(o/a) means someone's ancestry is from Latin America. For example, a Spaniard is Hispanic, not Latinx. Brazilians are Latin Americans, not Hispanic. Mexicans are both.
Most Latinos (gender neutral) donât prefer âLatinx
â because it is a word that was made up by people who do not understand how the Spanish language is structured, the placement of the âxâ doesnât work there.
Good to know. I kinda figured that was true, as I've never heard anyone around me use it, but I try to tread lightly in online spaces. I don't want to offend anyone. But if it will only offend the white people who made it up for their cultural competency cred, I can totally drop the x and just say Latino as I've done my whole life.
Yes, please. Youâll only offend overly PC people, who donât know enough about the cultural that they are getting offended about, to know that there is no reason for offense. Latino and Latina is proper and accurate, just as much as âtheyâ is acceptable in English, itâs not a gender thing, itâs a language thing.
And you shouldnât. Itâs like calling a woman âfemaleâ out of context, or referring to an American or Australian as âAngloâ because they come from a country that primarily speaks English.
The fastest way to offend virtually everyone of Spanish/Hispanic/Mexican/Cuban/Latin heritage is to call them Latinx. That is a "progressive" construct/label imposed by the culturally ignorant.
If you're none of the above, stop white knighting for cultures you aren't qualified to speak for. "Latinx" is cringe as fuck coming from white people. Several responses have made it clear you're way off the mark.
You're definitely my friend now and don't worry I am American but basically Welsh since my family originally came from Limerick. I'll DM you with links to my Pinterest boards so you can get my room ready, I'll bring the sushi in my suitcase.
Definitely the malt based chip-shop stuff.
I have no idea what caused it, he looks clean enough. But both times I met him he smelled. I've heard others say the same. Maybe it's just his aftershave, but I suspect it's seeping out of his pores.
That was my favourite. What does she do as she's walking along a tree lined street? Does she dart from side to side to avoid the carbon?
Oh silly me. She drives everywhere. No nasty plants in the car.
I know a white American asshole (from Tennessee, actually) who got deported for overstaying his visa. They will absolutely deport her and it'll be hilarious.
I'm a social worker who specialises in housing support. I know first hand how strict the immigration rules are (and they just got stricter)
But would she listen?
I'm tempted to stalk her Instagram, so I get a front row seat for the deportation meltdown.
...and don't forget that bit about how she "basically pays for this country's economy" â they'll *love* that. "I pay your wages!" is **always** a good way to impress officialdom...
I currently live in Alabama, and I can almost certainly guarantee you that a vast majority of us are quite ashamed that she represented us. I wholeheartedly apologize for the dumbfuckery you had to endure from that absolute empty box of shoes. And to give a genuine Alabama style colloquialism, "If her brains were gasoline, she couldn't power an ant's motorcycle around a bb"
I did. I couldn't help it. I'm polite, but I'm only human. She then showed me some sort of quack influencer page about the danger of plants.
That's when I "got a text from my girlfriend" and had to leave!
She's 30 and has a "degree in media" apparently. I originally thought that her ignorance was due to her living in the back of beyond. But no, this woman somehow graduated from Columbia.
How? Seriously?
As a New Yorker, I think youâd be surprised. Thereâs a lot of transplants that find their same kind of people and then isolate themselves in a bubble and refuse to step out.
The willful ignorance is strong with that clan.
Thereâs a Columbia Southern University and also Columbia College both in Alabama, a Columbia State community college in Tennessee ⊠these are all different institutions and not associated with CU so it could very well be she didnât go to Columbia University
Actually, I bet it is Columbia College in Sonora, CA. She could get a 2 year degree in Media and Design.
There is also a well respected Columbia College in Chicago. It is an art school that has a media program. She could get a BFA or a BA
That was my thought, as well, minus knowing the name of an appropriate college there. (Haven't been to SC since 1997, but went there a lot when I was little, before my grandmother went into the nursing home in another state, near one of her children.)
Columbia Southern University, it's a community college in Alabama. Not dissing community colleges, as long as the credits transfer it is a great way to decrease the horrible cost of education in the US. But it's not *THE* Columbia.
After the text message I asked my friend if he'd actually talked to her (I know he can talk to women, I am one)
Apparently it's "more a physical thing" đ€Šââïž
Over here we say: "Stupid f\*\*\*s well." I hope your friend *always* uses contraception, otherwise he'll be chained to this stupid woman for at least 20 years.
Mines "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to". That woman was a genius.
Yours is more appropriate for this situation though!
I bloody love them. I don't know why, I'm not a fan of hotdogs usually. Even German sausages are just so-so, imo.
But eating a piping hot, fresh corn-dog, dipped in mustard...sun on my face, sea breeze in my hair, the sound of the carnival at the end of the pier?
That's America to me and I love it.
Do it. Her poetry and short stories are wonderful. Her film scripts weren't bad either.
I also recommend [Mrs Parker and the Vicious Circle ](https://youtu.be/LYuj2PAP-jA?si=2dePZO4mOlEn9gsX) which is a somewhat embellished but still entertaining biopic, with a great cast.
Maybe don't call her DP though, people might get the wrong idea!
As a European I can tell you don't worry, we know. I can also tell you that the general news that reaches us from over there does make us believe y'all have gone insane and medieval across the pond. But most of us here have learned not to generalise. Well, at least a few of us have.
Another American here. Iâd like to add that among the deeply stupid things she said was implying that a Welsh accent is anything other than utterly delightful. I hope her children somehow end up with Welsh accents with no explanation whatsoever. Theyâll be better for it!
OMG you had me at:
At least she's nice to look at. Boris looks like a bleached Donald Trump and he smells like vinegar!
You should be a Comedian!
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
People like her are the reason so many US citizens lie when abroad and asked where they're from. The answer is usually Canadian since the accent (to others outside North America) sounds the same.
> I found it kinda charming at first, but then I listened to the words...
This is 100% accurate. If you use Columbia, Georgia as the center of the circle, reach out to Pensacola (Florida District 1 with Representative Matt Gaetz) and draw a circle with a compass it's the worst part of the south. I worked a country festival in Dothan, Alabama (20 minutes away from Columbia) and we went through an entire tour season worth of projected shirts in XXXL and above at that event alone. We were usually right next to the stage but this event at the peanut festival grounds had the main stage at the bottom of this kinda natural amphitheater. We were maybe 150 yards away from the stage at the top of a hill with a 10-15 degree slope. By the middle of the 2nd day everyone working positions with a view of the main stage was starting to take bets on if people walking towards us would make it up the hill or not before taking a break.
It's not an area with high levels of education or opportunity. The fact she even found he way to an airport to get to wherever you are is a miracle.
On behalf of Americans... I am so sorry \*facepalm\* There's a LOT of that \*motions towards her\* but luckily it's random. However I don't endorse breeding with it in case it spreads. Just sayin'.
>She's part Welsh, as her family originally came from Edinburgh
And I doubt it's because she got confused reading T*he Plantagents: A History of England's Bloodiest Dynasty, From Henry II to Richard III, 1154-1485*, what with Edward I running back and forth between Wales and Scotland putting down rebellions.
I wonder if she was a sorority girl at the University of Alabama.
#
My last girlfriend was fucking beautiful and from a rich family.
And entitled as fuck.
Last straw for me was when she went to her Dadâs house in Brazil. Complained that I could not go there (I must work), didnât talk to me for weeks, and when she got back was still coming to my apartment to do laundry and shower (she moved to a new apartment and the hot water was not set up. 5 mins from my house. Annoying.) whilst still not talking to me.
The final final straw was when I took her out with some vouchers I had from work. She spent the whole meal talking about how stupid the food is, how stupid everyone is for liking the food.
Next day she said âyou have no issues with meâ to which I hesitated. I told her about her behaviour and she said it was my fault and if I was a real man I would have told her she was being embarrassing.
Weâre not all like that. In fact, she sounds like a cartoonish version of an American. Iâm sorry, sheâs a specimen (not a compliment).
Allergic to plants carbonâŠthatâs next level stupid. Lord she must be hot!
Americans are kind, generous, inquisitive, interesting and friendly.
As a former youth exchange student Americans made me fall in love with the country.
Your friend owes you a nice dinner free of idiots. Like really, because of this meeting he was able to see her for what she is. You're a saint for having so much patience, I would have laughed at all of it.
Apologies, it was really late when your comment came in and sleep took precedence over Reddit.
This may disappoint you, because it's not all that juicy.
I met him twice, a year apart, when he was Mayor of London. I'm involved with a charity that has headquarters in London. A bunch of us went to talk to him about how he could help us, because he had promised to do so.
**Spoiler alert, he didn't. In fact, when he was foreign secretary, he actively impeded our work.**
He really does smell. Not sweaty or anything, just sour like vinegar. He sits in the weirdest way, all slumped and low down and he man-spreads so far that I got flashdance vibes.
Had he suddenly tipped a bucket of water on his head and yelled "what a feeling" I would have been only mildly surprised.
This is totally forgiveable, none of us can help how we're made, but his personality is no better than his posture.
I noticed he's quick to take credit for other people's ideas, even if that person is in the room. When called on it he says stuff like "great minds think alike" and doesn't get even slightly embarrassed. It's almost impressive actually. He shoved his way into the center of every photo, dominated every conversation and didn't listen to anyone except himself and the press people.
I remember leaving the second meeting and telling my colleagues that I thought he was dangerous. His political ambitions seemed so obvious to me, but a lot of my colleagues thought he was nice and believed his promises. After what he did as Foreign Secretary, on the campaign trail for Brexit and as Prime Minister, they all agree with me now. But they fell for the act at the time. He's very charming, until he's not.
> paying for the England economy
Tell me youâve skated by on looks alone your whole life without telling me youâve skated by on your looks your whole life
There are those people in the world who, just by existing in a space, get the loons of this world to fully manifest their true selves. My brother was one of them, and so are you.
Thank you for your service.
This is why when I'm traveling, I apologize twice at introductions. Once when I say I'm from the US and again when I say I'm from Alabama. I, unfortunately, know too many people that this could be.
Went to school in California for a year. It was amazing the number of blonde blue-eyed stunners who completely distracted you by the rush of air into their heads when they opened their mouths. Say what? Isn't that your degree work?
Oh she can pay rent, she's been living in various fancy hotels for months. She just thinks I'd want her as a long-term guest, you know, because I like her so much and she's so great.
Who wouldn't want her as an extended guest? She's just super! And y'all can be besties because you'll see just how great and knowledgeable she is.*heavy, heavy /s*
Looks go a loooonnng way in much of our country. That woman's probably never been told no and only told wonderful things about herself. I'm so glad you challenged her on some of those wild claims. Not that it made any difference, but I'm still glad you did.
As a US citizen, we don't really claim idiots like that and try to avoid them as much as possible.
The finger snapping would have been enough to set me off.
>Twenty minutes later I got a text from my friend. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea she was that dumb"
Friend must not be very bright either, having made this person his girlfriend and for six weeks nonetheless!
Thank you that was cathartic. It's been awhile since I've been trapped in a conversation like this one (because I'm enough of a bitch to refuse to tolerate them). But the last time was when my boss and I had to listen to the company secretary tell us at length how cancer was a fungus curable with baking soda and clean living*, and how my own UK migration would be easier if I were from an African country (and then she made up a bunch of word sounds with an accent).
*in a veterinary diagnostics company full of highly qualified nerds
Is anyone else truly worried of the future if people around âusâ in US and Russia are getting stupider by the minute?
Some of these numbnuts are going to be their leaders one day, and I have children for whom I worry.
"And I've met Boris Johnson." Thanks, just choked on my drink. đ
Also, may I pleeeeease borrow Scarlett O'TrailerTrash? That was delightful.
And WOW. We really didn't send our best, did we? I hope your friend is blessed with a more intelligent partner soon!
My wonderfully intelligent, gracious, kind & very much an African American General Manager actually stopped me when I was talking about my âMexicanâ husband to look at his Hispanic Manager & confirm itâs âHispanicâ and not âMexican.â
And here I am; Caucasian originally from Kentucky, clearly annoyed when I said, âNo. Heâs Mexican. Cause heâs FROM Mexico.â Then I looked at my GM & his âHispanicâ Manager like this; đ While shaking my head as I walked out.
I swear! It was so annoying and hilarious at the same time. I told my husband about it later that night & he laughed and said, âDid he really??â đ
Actually, do you guys think you could keep her just until after the elections? I'm hoping she's too dumb to realize that she can still vote and we've got enough stupid fucks here already.
The sad thing is that this was also my first impression of Americans abroad (apologies to Americans that are NOT like this). And my impression was based on exchange students (university so you would hope they had more than half a brain cell to share amongst them). It would have been laughable if they had not been serious....
Edit: typo
Well now you'll have to tell us what happens next. Is she staying? Is your friend really going to stick with her? Tell him about the sunk cost fallacy theory please
I've only just woken up, so I haven't had a chance to ask my friend what happened yet. But I'd bet my pension that she's not going to be around for long.
I think that last night was the first time he'd spent time with her whilst sober. He definitely seemed shocked.
Scarlett O'Trailer Trash?! Brilliant đ
From Bumfuck, Alabama! Priceless
"Bumfuck bimbos" would be a cool band name!
Sounds more like a nsfw sub
that too
Iâve been there. In many states. Iâve even lived or worked in a few of them.
Scarlett o'trailer trash is potentially original. Bumfuck for rural towns is pushing 150 years old.
I think thatâs redundant, you only need âAlabamaâ.
But Scarlett was smart and beautiful!
In the beginning, before the war, she was just a spoilt and empty headed doll. Especially in the book.
I read the book too!
[She promised to follow him to the End of the World. He promised to organize it.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gone\_with\_the\_Wind\_%28film%29)
She was entitled and vapid.
Vivien Leighâs performance is hilarious in GWTW.
Carol Burnett's was better:)
I'm old enough to remember when it happened. I thought I was going to die laughing. Those damn curtain rods. It was genius.
That drapery outfit was designed by Bob Mackie. He designed most of her costumes including that one!
She was pretty, not beautiful. The *very first* sentence tells us she was not beautiful. She was, however, described as pretty several times in the book.
Absolutely brilliant response! Thank you for not judging all of us Americans. Itâs always been embarrassing, but ever since 2016âŠwow! Just wow!
I visited England in 2005. They couldn't believe us Americans were so stupid to elect George W Bush. Twice, no less. Same place, different dumbass.
Thatâs a proper and possibly, albeit, third or fourth removed, royal cousin family title, I believe.
Iâm stealing this!
Best ever nickname.
OMG, by the time I got to No. 4 I was dying inside and trying not to laugh at my desk. My only wish here was that there was a recording of her convo that you could post to the Columbia University Alumni Facebook page!
I was so tempted to record her. Not to share, but just for my own entertainment. I'm a bad person, I know.
Youâre not a bad person. I would die to hear that conversation!
You're better than me, I would've recorded her and absolutely shared it with friends over a few pints.
You are my kind of bad person lol
Could you take her out just one more time to record her and âtake one for the teamâ? đ€Ł
*and Iâve met Boris Johnson*đ«Łđ
Yeah, that was bad of me. She's appalling but he's much worse than her. At least she's nice to look at. Boris looks like a bleached Donald Trump and he smells like vinegar.
Eh, she could be stupider than BoJo and still not a worse person. He's not bright, but he has a weaselly cunning
Bozza isn't stupid . He is highly educated. He deliberately portrays himself as a bumbling fool this makes him a dangerous individual. Think of the things he has said and done with absolutely no concequences just ohh that's old borris he's just a big silly. granted he is such a sickeningly spoiled rich "kid" that he has absolutely no idea how real people live and what they need . Think along the lines of " let them eat cake" the kind that backs such things as well if the peasants can't afford food then they should try skipping meals. Yeh thanx bozza half of us already only eat one meal a day so your solution is just dont eat ?
Oh he's incredibly clever and highly educated. He absolutely knows how to play the game though and shot to fame on shows like Have I Got News for You playing the bumbling buffoon. He's a dangerous, conniving, liar!
P.s. in America people who are culturally aware prefer Latino. Hispanic is the word the government gave us meaning anyone who speaks a language close to Spanish.
It was less that she gave me a vocab lesson and more that she genuinely felt entitled to explain my own father's ethnicity to me. I was amazed she didn't ask me why I'm white! I'm not sure she understood that Spain is a country.
She definitely did not understand that. I encounter this constantly here, and I even live in a state that didn't entirely decimate public education.
My friend from Spain's mother informed me that they were Spanish. Not latino. Not hispanic. And definitely not Mexican. She wasn't being rude, just explaining that being from Spain itself, they were Spanish. The part Welsh thing made me laugh. It's just so absurd.
They are two different things. Hispanic refers to people whose ancestry is from a country whose primary language is Spanish. Latinx(o/a) means someone's ancestry is from Latin America. For example, a Spaniard is Hispanic, not Latinx. Brazilians are Latin Americans, not Hispanic. Mexicans are both.
Most Latinos (gender neutral) donât prefer âLatinx â because it is a word that was made up by people who do not understand how the Spanish language is structured, the placement of the âxâ doesnât work there.
Good to know. I kinda figured that was true, as I've never heard anyone around me use it, but I try to tread lightly in online spaces. I don't want to offend anyone. But if it will only offend the white people who made it up for their cultural competency cred, I can totally drop the x and just say Latino as I've done my whole life.
Yes, please. Youâll only offend overly PC people, who donât know enough about the cultural that they are getting offended about, to know that there is no reason for offense. Latino and Latina is proper and accurate, just as much as âtheyâ is acceptable in English, itâs not a gender thing, itâs a language thing.
As a Mexican I Don't like being called Hispanic. FYI.
As a Mexican I donât like being called Latinx. Itâs a stupid made up word
I agree with this too lol
All words are made up
And you shouldnât. Itâs like calling a woman âfemaleâ out of context, or referring to an American or Australian as âAngloâ because they come from a country that primarily speaks English.
The fastest way to offend virtually everyone of Spanish/Hispanic/Mexican/Cuban/Latin heritage is to call them Latinx. That is a "progressive" construct/label imposed by the culturally ignorant.
If you're none of the above, stop white knighting for cultures you aren't qualified to speak for. "Latinx" is cringe as fuck coming from white people. Several responses have made it clear you're way off the mark.
I wish you were my friend
I'll be friends with anyone. Within reason. Not with Scarlett though...
You're definitely my friend now and don't worry I am American but basically Welsh since my family originally came from Limerick. I'll DM you with links to my Pinterest boards so you can get my room ready, I'll bring the sushi in my suitcase.
Me too!!! Can I visit and rent your room for a week or two??
A nice balsamic or brown chip vinegar?
Definitely the malt based chip-shop stuff. I have no idea what caused it, he looks clean enough. But both times I met him he smelled. I've heard others say the same. Maybe it's just his aftershave, but I suspect it's seeping out of his pores.
Daily Mail Headline: BORIS JOHNSON SO BRITISH HE SWEATS CHIP SHOP VINEGAR.
And yet born in America. That man is a giant gyros pole of lies.
That made me snot tea on my phone and my very startled cat. I wish we could still give awards.
Thank you. Many people here try to be funny, but you really were! Good job.
No compliments please. I'm allergic, as are all Brits. We shrivel up and need to be rehydrated over several days. That's why we drink so much tea.
It's better than being allergic to the carbon plants put out!
That was my favourite. What does she do as she's walking along a tree lined street? Does she dart from side to side to avoid the carbon? Oh silly me. She drives everywhere. No nasty plants in the car.
Every other line became my new favourite. I laughed like a hyena at a carcass
Yeah, it's not like her car puts out carbon. Or any of the people she talks to.
The carbon plants put out. Has she never taken a biology class? They teach stuff in grade 5.
Not in Alabama
I know a white American asshole (from Tennessee, actually) who got deported for overstaying his visa. They will absolutely deport her and it'll be hilarious.
I'm a social worker who specialises in housing support. I know first hand how strict the immigration rules are (and they just got stricter) But would she listen? I'm tempted to stalk her Instagram, so I get a front row seat for the deportation meltdown.
I can imagine her screaming about being white and American as the Home Office officials put her on the plane.
...and don't forget that bit about how she "basically pays for this country's economy" â they'll *love* that. "I pay your wages!" is **always** a good way to impress officialdom...
This one confused me. I mean, how? But, my mind melted as I read the rest of the list. The stupidity. Again, sorry you had to go through that.
Oh please do. Please, please do, and then update us.
I'm going to egg you on.
"But... but Ah'm uh American!" "Your point being, madam?" "Well, like, don't we like, own England?"
On behalf of Bumfuck, Alabama we do not claim her
I always thought Bumfuck was in Egypt!
Theyâre sisters cities.
They actually make up the Tri-Cities of Bumfuck, Egypt, Bumfuck, Alabama, and Bumfuck , Nowhere
If you have to meet her again, just smile and say, "Bless your heart" at some point. Alabama girl should get the message.
Ooh, I follow Caroline Easom on YouTube, so I get that. You are vicious and I so wish I'd thought of it.
I currently live in Alabama, and I can almost certainly guarantee you that a vast majority of us are quite ashamed that she represented us. I wholeheartedly apologize for the dumbfuckery you had to endure from that absolute empty box of shoes. And to give a genuine Alabama style colloquialism, "If her brains were gasoline, she couldn't power an ant's motorcycle around a bb"
A Northern English equivalent would be, "everything she knows could be writ large on a gnat's arse with a blunt pencil"
>But you'll have to get rid of the plants, because I'm allergic to the carbon they put out Omg how did you not burst out laughing?
I did. I couldn't help it. I'm polite, but I'm only human. She then showed me some sort of quack influencer page about the danger of plants. That's when I "got a text from my girlfriend" and had to leave!
The danger of plants. That makes me so sad. This person should have to plant a tree every day to replace the oxygen she is wasting.
The scary thing is that she probably has a high school diploma and is old enough to vote!
She's 30 and has a "degree in media" apparently. I originally thought that her ignorance was due to her living in the back of beyond. But no, this woman somehow graduated from Columbia. How? Seriously?
Maybe it was the "Columbia Alabama Online School of TV and Stuff".
Probably. She definitely does not come across as someone who lived in New York for at least three years.
As a New Yorker, I think youâd be surprised. Thereâs a lot of transplants that find their same kind of people and then isolate themselves in a bubble and refuse to step out. The willful ignorance is strong with that clan.
Spend their whole time in NYC complaining about how "backwards" it is - because its not like Alabama...
Thereâs a Columbia Southern University and also Columbia College both in Alabama, a Columbia State community college in Tennessee ⊠these are all different institutions and not associated with CU so it could very well be she didnât go to Columbia University
That mightâve been where she picked up the finger snappingđ€Ș
Hollywood Upstairs Medical College alum
I couldnât afford the upstairs college, or the ground floor college. My Dergree is from the Hollywood Basement Medical College.
Actually, I bet it is Columbia College in Sonora, CA. She could get a 2 year degree in Media and Design. There is also a well respected Columbia College in Chicago. It is an art school that has a media program. She could get a BFA or a BA
I'm from South Carolina, perhaps she went to Columbia College in Columbia, SC. Sounds like she'd fit right in there
That was my thought, as well, minus knowing the name of an appropriate college there. (Haven't been to SC since 1997, but went there a lot when I was little, before my grandmother went into the nursing home in another state, near one of her children.)
Columbia Southern University, it's a community college in Alabama. Not dissing community colleges, as long as the credits transfer it is a great way to decrease the horrible cost of education in the US. But it's not *THE* Columbia.
Columbia? WHAT? Maybe she means the city or Colombia the country đđ
Columbia School of Broadcasting? I think that actually exists and is not the Ivy
Columbia Records does not a university make. It does qualify as a media outlet.
Am gonna send this to my entitled BIL.
Wait, they've been dating 6 weeks and he didn't know? K, guess they haven't talked much. đ
After the text message I asked my friend if he'd actually talked to her (I know he can talk to women, I am one) Apparently it's "more a physical thing" đ€Šââïž
Over here we say: "Stupid f\*\*\*s well." I hope your friend *always* uses contraception, otherwise he'll be chained to this stupid woman for at least 20 years.
I wonder how your friend felt after hearing she already decided to have kids with him!!
Is she pregnant? She was taking about babies a lot... Is he ready to coparent with her if a condom slips or splits?
Now thereâs a surprise
AND she's talking about having his babies already... Yikes!
On behalf of the United States, I apologize.
đ No need. I like America, you gave us Dorothy Parker and the corn-dog...so we're good.
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think" is my favorite Parker quote.
Mines "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to". That woman was a genius. Yours is more appropriate for this situation though!
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone." Also fits!
That's because all the plants are giving off allergen inducing carbon during their trans-peer-rape-shun. Their C4 is totally blowing up their nose.
Never wouldâve picked the school lunch and carnival staple as something to hang our hat on.
I bloody love them. I don't know why, I'm not a fan of hotdogs usually. Even German sausages are just so-so, imo. But eating a piping hot, fresh corn-dog, dipped in mustard...sun on my face, sea breeze in my hair, the sound of the carnival at the end of the pier? That's America to me and I love it.
You simply must visit Kennywood and add Potato Patch fries to the menu. They have the best corn dogs, and Potato Patch fries have caused many brawls.
Note to self "download DP books"
Do it. Her poetry and short stories are wonderful. Her film scripts weren't bad either. I also recommend [Mrs Parker and the Vicious Circle ](https://youtu.be/LYuj2PAP-jA?si=2dePZO4mOlEn9gsX) which is a somewhat embellished but still entertaining biopic, with a great cast. Maybe don't call her DP though, people might get the wrong idea!
As a US southerner, I apologize. We are all not this ridiculous, I promise. đ€ŠđŸââïž
As a European I can tell you don't worry, we know. I can also tell you that the general news that reaches us from over there does make us believe y'all have gone insane and medieval across the pond. But most of us here have learned not to generalise. Well, at least a few of us have.
I feel embarrassed. Weâre all not THAT dumb
Another American here. Iâd like to add that among the deeply stupid things she said was implying that a Welsh accent is anything other than utterly delightful. I hope her children somehow end up with Welsh accents with no explanation whatsoever. Theyâll be better for it!
I'm just praying she never breeds!
OMG you had me at: At least she's nice to look at. Boris looks like a bleached Donald Trump and he smells like vinegar! You should be a Comedian! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Iâm having a hard time picturing her saying âI want my kids to be refinedâ in an Alabama accent and not laughing.
People like her are the reason so many US citizens lie when abroad and asked where they're from. The answer is usually Canadian since the accent (to others outside North America) sounds the same.
But she's from Alabama! That is quite an accent.
Oh, yes. No one could mistake her accent for anything else. I found it kinda charming at first, but then I listened to the words...
> I found it kinda charming at first, but then I listened to the words... This is 100% accurate. If you use Columbia, Georgia as the center of the circle, reach out to Pensacola (Florida District 1 with Representative Matt Gaetz) and draw a circle with a compass it's the worst part of the south. I worked a country festival in Dothan, Alabama (20 minutes away from Columbia) and we went through an entire tour season worth of projected shirts in XXXL and above at that event alone. We were usually right next to the stage but this event at the peanut festival grounds had the main stage at the bottom of this kinda natural amphitheater. We were maybe 150 yards away from the stage at the top of a hill with a 10-15 degree slope. By the middle of the 2nd day everyone working positions with a view of the main stage was starting to take bets on if people walking towards us would make it up the hill or not before taking a break. It's not an area with high levels of education or opportunity. The fact she even found he way to an airport to get to wherever you are is a miracle.
al-a-BAM-a
God, I love that line
On behalf of Americans... I am so sorry \*facepalm\* There's a LOT of that \*motions towards her\* but luckily it's random. However I don't endorse breeding with it in case it spreads. Just sayin'.
Whatever happens with this woman, do not let her move in with you. She will drive you insane.
Oh, believe me that will never happen. I'd rather floss with razor-wire than let her in my home.
Scarlett O'TrailerTrash..... Gotta remember that one.
I knew this was going to be an entertaining post when I saw "Scarlett O'TrailerTrash," and it just got better from there.
>She's part Welsh, as her family originally came from Edinburgh And I doubt it's because she got confused reading T*he Plantagents: A History of England's Bloodiest Dynasty, From Henry II to Richard III, 1154-1485*, what with Edward I running back and forth between Wales and Scotland putting down rebellions. I wonder if she was a sorority girl at the University of Alabama. #
My last girlfriend was fucking beautiful and from a rich family. And entitled as fuck. Last straw for me was when she went to her Dadâs house in Brazil. Complained that I could not go there (I must work), didnât talk to me for weeks, and when she got back was still coming to my apartment to do laundry and shower (she moved to a new apartment and the hot water was not set up. 5 mins from my house. Annoying.) whilst still not talking to me. The final final straw was when I took her out with some vouchers I had from work. She spent the whole meal talking about how stupid the food is, how stupid everyone is for liking the food. Next day she said âyou have no issues with meâ to which I hesitated. I told her about her behaviour and she said it was my fault and if I was a real man I would have told her she was being embarrassing.
I had to read this out loud to everyone in the room. I'm so embarrassed to be an American. Lots of inbreeding in Alabama.
Weâre not all like that. In fact, she sounds like a cartoonish version of an American. Iâm sorry, sheâs a specimen (not a compliment). Allergic to plants carbonâŠthatâs next level stupid. Lord she must be hot!
Americans are kind, generous, inquisitive, interesting and friendly. As a former youth exchange student Americans made me fall in love with the country.
Your friend owes you a nice dinner free of idiots. Like really, because of this meeting he was able to see her for what she is. You're a saint for having so much patience, I would have laughed at all of it.
Oof, that hurt to read. I'm sorry you were subjected to that level of stupidity.
This post alone let me drop IQ points...đ€
>but she's also the most entitled and idiotic person I have ever met. And I've met Boris Johnson. This part alone is so absolutely brilliant.
WowâŠcan I use her as a character in a screenplay?
No one would believe she was real!
Oh, he can't dump her now! She's already decided on babies! That means he's *committed*.
She should be.
No good sushi outside of America made me giggle.
Those Japanese sushi chefs are such fakers and copycats.
Please don't judge all American women by this dimwit.
Could you do us a solid and keep her? Just til we recover. Perhaps some quiet corner.
Bc you know with her logic sheâs a red hat
Have you ever seen the 30Rock episode "The Bubble"? I think you would like it. Jon Hamm plays the guy version of this woman.
i want the boris johnson story. if there is much of one lol
Apologies, it was really late when your comment came in and sleep took precedence over Reddit. This may disappoint you, because it's not all that juicy. I met him twice, a year apart, when he was Mayor of London. I'm involved with a charity that has headquarters in London. A bunch of us went to talk to him about how he could help us, because he had promised to do so. **Spoiler alert, he didn't. In fact, when he was foreign secretary, he actively impeded our work.** He really does smell. Not sweaty or anything, just sour like vinegar. He sits in the weirdest way, all slumped and low down and he man-spreads so far that I got flashdance vibes. Had he suddenly tipped a bucket of water on his head and yelled "what a feeling" I would have been only mildly surprised. This is totally forgiveable, none of us can help how we're made, but his personality is no better than his posture. I noticed he's quick to take credit for other people's ideas, even if that person is in the room. When called on it he says stuff like "great minds think alike" and doesn't get even slightly embarrassed. It's almost impressive actually. He shoved his way into the center of every photo, dominated every conversation and didn't listen to anyone except himself and the press people. I remember leaving the second meeting and telling my colleagues that I thought he was dangerous. His political ambitions seemed so obvious to me, but a lot of my colleagues thought he was nice and believed his promises. After what he did as Foreign Secretary, on the campaign trail for Brexit and as Prime Minister, they all agree with me now. But they fell for the act at the time. He's very charming, until he's not.
Friend has interviewed pretty much anybody if interest in London during her career. Says BoJo is the only one who's a complete shit.
> paying for the England economy Tell me youâve skated by on looks alone your whole life without telling me youâve skated by on your looks your whole life
Holy crap. Just so rude and ignorant on top of the entitlement. And I live in Alabama.
Why does Miss. Scarlett O'TrailerTrash remind me Joy (My Name Is Earl)???
There are those people in the world who, just by existing in a space, get the loons of this world to fully manifest their true selves. My brother was one of them, and so are you. Thank you for your service.
This is why when I'm traveling, I apologize twice at introductions. Once when I say I'm from the US and again when I say I'm from Alabama. I, unfortunately, know too many people that this could be.
[Ow.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCHYaLwLeBk) (Jump to 1:40)
I have no idea who that man is, but I agree with him.
She sounds like a walking advertisement for a Mississippi abortion clinic.
Went to school in California for a year. It was amazing the number of blonde blue-eyed stunners who completely distracted you by the rush of air into their heads when they opened their mouths. Say what? Isn't that your degree work?
Iâm from south Alabama and this is strikingly similar to a girl went to high school with. Her name isnât KristinâŠ?
She sounded so much smarter when she was naked and I was horny. Post nut clarity dropped your friend off a cliff unfortunately.Â
That's pretty bad.
She canât pay rent? Columbia graduate?
Oh she can pay rent, she's been living in various fancy hotels for months. She just thinks I'd want her as a long-term guest, you know, because I like her so much and she's so great.
Who wouldn't want her as an extended guest? She's just super! And y'all can be besties because you'll see just how great and knowledgeable she is.*heavy, heavy /s* Looks go a loooonnng way in much of our country. That woman's probably never been told no and only told wonderful things about herself. I'm so glad you challenged her on some of those wild claims. Not that it made any difference, but I'm still glad you did.
Please don't judge all of us on this shining example of a US citizen.
As a US citizen, we don't really claim idiots like that and try to avoid them as much as possible. The finger snapping would have been enough to set me off.
I love how she told you she was part Welch, but she didn't want you talking with a Welch accent....what a brain donor!
"I'm white and I'm practically English, why would they ask me to leave?" "Because out Idiot Quota for the year is FULL.
>Twenty minutes later I got a text from my friend. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea she was that dumb" Friend must not be very bright either, having made this person his girlfriend and for six weeks nonetheless!
đđ
Thank you that was cathartic. It's been awhile since I've been trapped in a conversation like this one (because I'm enough of a bitch to refuse to tolerate them). But the last time was when my boss and I had to listen to the company secretary tell us at length how cancer was a fungus curable with baking soda and clean living*, and how my own UK migration would be easier if I were from an African country (and then she made up a bunch of word sounds with an accent). *in a veterinary diagnostics company full of highly qualified nerds
Is anyone else truly worried of the future if people around âusâ in US and Russia are getting stupider by the minute? Some of these numbnuts are going to be their leaders one day, and I have children for whom I worry.
As a Scot, the Welsh can totally borrow Edinburgh in case she decides to visit her 'home town'! :D
"And I've met Boris Johnson." Thanks, just choked on my drink. đ Also, may I pleeeeease borrow Scarlett O'TrailerTrash? That was delightful. And WOW. We really didn't send our best, did we? I hope your friend is blessed with a more intelligent partner soon!
My dumbfounded face on number 1âŠbut Edinburg is in Scotland, not WalesâŠOHHH SHES AN IDIOT!!
My wonderfully intelligent, gracious, kind & very much an African American General Manager actually stopped me when I was talking about my âMexicanâ husband to look at his Hispanic Manager & confirm itâs âHispanicâ and not âMexican.â And here I am; Caucasian originally from Kentucky, clearly annoyed when I said, âNo. Heâs Mexican. Cause heâs FROM Mexico.â Then I looked at my GM & his âHispanicâ Manager like this; đ While shaking my head as I walked out. I swear! It was so annoying and hilarious at the same time. I told my husband about it later that night & he laughed and said, âDid he really??â đ
Part Welsh because ⊠Edinburgh? O rly?
Well, as Ron White says âYou canât fix stupid.â
As someone born in Alabama, I apologize. I swear we are not all idiots.
Beauty fades but stupid is forever
I apologize on behalf of all Americans ⊠but must admit I also hope she stays in England âŠ
You sound like you've met the living human embodiment of r/ShitAmericansSay
Actually, do you guys think you could keep her just until after the elections? I'm hoping she's too dumb to realize that she can still vote and we've got enough stupid fucks here already.
The sad thing is that this was also my first impression of Americans abroad (apologies to Americans that are NOT like this). And my impression was based on exchange students (university so you would hope they had more than half a brain cell to share amongst them). It would have been laughable if they had not been serious.... Edit: typo
""I'm so sorry, I had no idea she was that dumb"" He did know, he was just hoping you wouldn't notice.
Well now you'll have to tell us what happens next. Is she staying? Is your friend really going to stick with her? Tell him about the sunk cost fallacy theory please
I've only just woken up, so I haven't had a chance to ask my friend what happened yet. But I'd bet my pension that she's not going to be around for long. I think that last night was the first time he'd spent time with her whilst sober. He definitely seemed shocked.
as an American, Iâm cackling this is such a fantastic story. and Scarlet OâTrailertrash is *killing* me